Focus on Self
Actualization
As a child, whenever anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always replied,
“The happiest person in the world.” Adults probably saw me as either someone starting too early
on a path to self-actualization or as just a really strange kid.
Most of us are in pursuit of happiness, yet most base happiness on conditions. For example,
many envision they will be happy if they were wealthy.
I have met some of the wealthiest people yet they suffered from depression, loneliness and
anxiety.
I have traveled across the poorest countries and met some of the most impoverished individuals.
Yet, they frequently laughed and seemed to enjoy life, despite owning almost nothing.
What is self-actualization?
The psychologist Abraham Maslow created the Hierarchy of Needs 1 theory, which depicts a
five-tier pyramid of human necessities. It begins with the most basic needs at the base and
progresses to the top tier.
Tier 1. Biological and Physiological needs – food, drink, air, shelter, warmth, sleep.
Tier 2. Security needs – protection from elements, safety, security, job, stability, freedom from
fear.
By striving for self actualization 2, you can positively manage your life, happiness, and dreams.
Your anxieties, stresses, and worries will be recognized for what they are: man-made fears,
which mostly exist in the future. Anything that hasn’t yet happened (or may not happen) is not
worth worrying about.
Don’t measure your worth based on what other people are doing.
Maybe one of your friends became a high-flying lawyer and another friend settled into the
perfect married life with children. And perhaps you haven’t found your dream career or partner
yet, but maybe that gives you the freedom to go travelling. Something neither your lawyer friend
nor married friend would be able to do.
Remember that everyone’s path is different and everyone has days where they feel the same as
you.
A study revealed that 25% of participants 3 who used social media for an average of an hour a
day, showed very high signs of depression.
Social media promotes depression and jealousy. It creates indirect peer pressure. People feel
inadequate by how others are (seemingly) over-achieving. They then feel pressured to validate
how happy their lives are also by updating statuses or photos accordingly. It becomes a never-
ending cycle where no one is ever truly being himself or herself.
Don’t log in as often or if you are truly strong, delete it. Those who are your real friends will
know how to stay in touch.
No matter how stressed or worried you feel, remember that it is temporary and nothing ever
remains the same.
Be true to yourself
Follow your own sense of purpose and love yourself (even your flaws).
And you can still keep adopting positive habits, for instance, if you have been trying to become
fitter or to stop smoking.
Sometimes it may feel like you are driving in the dark, with no brakes or lights. But one of the
most beautiful things about life is its unpredictability. In that darkness, you never know what
person, place or moment you may encounter with each turn.
Be open-minded and welcome that darkness because even if the ride is bumpy, it’s still ok
because you are still moving forward.
Many people think they will only be happy when they become wealthy, have the perfect partner,
or the successful career. But they may make millions and still have anxiety. They may find “the
one” and still feel depressed.
The only one capable of making you happy is you. Don’t sabotage your own happiness by
imposing conditions on it.
Practice gratitude
It is easy to forget the beautiful things to be grateful for. Maybe there is a breathtaking full moon
outside your window or someone did an unselfish act of kindness for you this week.
Have integrity
We all know right from wrong yet sadly, not everyone will choose to do what is right. You are
responsible for not only your actions, but also for how those actions will affect those around
you–positively or negatively.
Self-development
Practicing mindfulness and meditation. Meditating for as little as twenty minutes a day will
inspire changes to your physical, emotional and mental state.
Final Thoughts
Did I grow up to be the happiest person in the world? Sometimes I think I did. For the times I
think I did not, I think that is still ok too. Life is meant to challenge us, and there is still beauty in
that.
Did I grow up to fulfil my own self-actualization? Sometimes I think I did. For the times I think I
did not, I think that is still ok too. I will still keep striving to grow, learn and evolve into the best
“me” that I can be. Life is the best unwritten script we can get; never underestimate where the
adventure of those pages might lead to next.