Kadell Mystory

Running Head: Your Story and Theory: Exploring Student Development Through Your 1
Own Experience
Your Story and Theory: Exploring Student Development Through Your Own
Experience
Alexandra Kadell
Dr. Kevin Piskadlo
Theories of College Student Development
November 10, 2016
Your Story and Theory: Exploring Student Development through Your Own Experience 2
Understanding theory in Student Affairs is essential to help foster and grow students’
development within Higher Education. The theories that are applied in Student Affairs
encompasses a variety of interpersonal, intrapersonal, and cognitive development as well as
reflective practices. Theories lay a foundation for professionals to analyze and use when
interacting with students as well as creating new theory. In order to understand the development
of others it is critical to analyze one own identity development. This analysis will dive deeply
into Alexandra Kadell’s life to showcase significant events that shaped her identity. Based off of
currently theory and the uniqueness of Alexandra Kadell’s identity the Scale of Self (SOS)
theory was created to accurately represent the ongoing identity development that has and
continues to take place today.
Part I. The History of Alexandra Kadell
The story of my life so far is something I consider average, yet complex. I have faced
many challenges, loved, believed, seen death, cried, laughed, explored, grown, thought, and have
always strived to live a happy life. However, these characteristics are what many encounter
throughout their daily lives. Although I consider this average, the situations, environment, and
encounters that I have endured have made me who I am today. Throughout my story you will
read snap shots of three areas from my life that I consider relevant to how I became Alexandra
Elizabeth Kadell.
Snap Shot One: Early Childhood, Infancy to Elementary School
My earliest memory is from when I was around five years old. I remember being in my
backyard, green bushes all around the willow tree hanging from above. This simple playset
amused me for hours and I am standing on the back porch which was always painted a dark red. I
was at some sort of party and I remember looking up to my cousins asking if we, my other
cousin, and brother, could play pin the tail on the donkey. They brought us to the game which
was set up between the porch and shed and told us the rules. This memory seems to be fading
away as I grow older and I wonder how much of this memory is actually accurate. However,
more about my life happened before this random recollection.
I was born in Greenly Colorado, on April 20, 1994, the daughter of Maryellen Hofsiss
and Roger Kadell. I am a sibling of four, my oldest brother Chad, oldest sister Dawn, and
younger brother Grant. Later in life I would learn that my oldest sibling are actually my half
siblings, however as “politically correct” as that may be, I will never see my siblings as anything
less than my siblings. Three years after my birth, without my father, my family picked up our
lives and moved into my grandma’s house on Long Island, New York. I have never fully
understood why or what pushed my mother to leave, but I do know that the situation that they
put us in was unhealthy. I would never see my father again and I remember growing up
wondering why I did not have a daddy to make Father’s Day cards for or feeling embarrassed
when I had to explain to the other kids that I had no father. One day when I was around six or
seven I remember my mother sitting Grant and me, on her knees and explaining that we are not
like the other kids, we did not have a dad to go home to at night, and that all we needed was the
family we had in New York.
I had minimal connection with my father. Around each significant holiday or birthday,
Grant and I would receive meaningless gifts from countless organizations which helped prison
mates send something to their children. One year he sent Grant and I a single dollar bill that was
ripped down the middle, a perfect joke between us later in life whenever we are tight on money.
The phone calls from various prisons in Colorado were the only true interaction I had with him.
From my early memories, I remember waiting to hear from him, hoping that we would visit, and
thinking we would be together as a family again. However, with each conversation I lost hope
and they became more awkward over time. One day after speaking with Grant my mom gave me
the phone, I looked at it, looked at her, and handed it back. I have not talked to him since.
For a long time, I was angry and I did not know why. That emotion has changed today
and I am mainly sad that he lives his days alone. I wonder if I may ever reach out to him one day
and ask him questions that I always longed to know. During my college years, I found out that
his mother, my grandmother, had passed away. With that news also came that latest information
I know about him. He was convicted of robbing three banks and now has the reputation in the
news for being the “midlife crisis bandit.”
Throughout my childhood, my mother did everything she could to raise us right. My
mother is a loving, helpful, caring, and passionate person. She is also my absolute best friend.
However, growing up, my family watched the addiction of alcohol release her from the realities
of life. After our move to Long Island, my mother was already diseased with alcoholism and
substance abuse, and she fell into a great depression which progressively made the addiction
worst. As an early child, I never saw the true impact that alcohol had on my mother. I remember
small things that did not make sense to a child, but reflecting back, I understand now. For
example, I would find bottles of beer in the recycling and think “was uncle here,” because that
was the beer he would drink; or I would lay next to her and never being able to synchronize my
breathing with hers. When my mother was absent, my grandmother, aunt, and brother became
the people I looked towards as parental figures.
My mother’s alcoholism continued for many years and, unaware of it, I finally learned
about her disease when I was about twelve years old. My mother took Grant and I to a meeting
which I just thought was like any other mom meeting, something to do with soccer or the PTA.
As we played in the back room, Grant and I heard our mother’s voice and we watched her stand
up and say “Hi, my name is Maryellen and I am an alcoholic.” That was the first time I had
connected that word to my mother. Today, my mother is a loving, helpful, caring, passionate,
and sober person of twelve years.
Alcoholism influenced the foundation of my family. Dawn, as well as a close Aunt,
became very angry and resented my mother for the wrongs that she had committed and my
brothers vowed that they would never take a sip of alcohol in their lives. As for me her addiction
taught me to be a forgiving, cautious, and sympathetic human being.
Throughout my early childhood I would love playing outside with my siblings, going to
church, enjoying my playful dogs, having picnics outside the magnolia tree, singing, and
drawing. I always made my brothers play Barbie’s with me and in return I would play Super
Mario Brothers. The best times of the year for us was when snow would fall and the snowball
fights would begin, mainly ending with someone crying; or when the sunlight would stay out
longer than our bedtime and our backyard would turn into a field of fire flies, each of us running
around trying to catch the most. I was never the trouble maker in my family and today my
siblings still tease me about being the “innocent” one. My family and I have faced so many
challenges, but those challenges mixed with our everlasting enjoyments, are what has made us
such a close nit and loving family.
I absolutely loved school, but school did not love me. Elementary school was definitely a
social and learning challenge for me. Not only were they the years of my “awkward” stage,
where I would show up to school with thin rimmed glasses, a mixed matched dress every day,
and my hair short and messy, but these were the years were “learning disability” was introduced
to my vocabulary. I remember around the first grade sitting in a chair and the councilor asking
me questions to repeat numbers or solve things as fast as I could. Later on, a group of teachers
sat me down with my mother and explained that I had a reported learning disability. The only
way it was ever explained to me was that I learned different than the other kids.
This disability plagued my life. I struggled keeping up, understanding curriculum, and I
was always reminded that I had a disability. Once a day I would be pulled out with a few other
kids and a separate teacher would give us lessons. I would walk back into class embarrassed. The
other kids would tease me for my looks saying I was “ugly” or “dirty” and call me “stupid” or
“dumb” for being the “special ed kid.” This started to form my insecurities and sensitivity traits
that are deeply rooted in me today. My disability defined me for a long time and I gave up on
trying to be anything in school. Music and the arts was the only thing that I was good in and
actually enjoyed. Whenever people asked the cliché question of “what do you want to be when
you grew up” my original answer was to be an art teacher. That transitioned to a music teacher,
after I realized how awful my drawing skills were. My music teacher inspired me to express my
individuality through singing and encouraged me in a setting where I actually understood
something in school. I found my natural talent of signing. People would commend me for my
ability to match pitch and sing high notes. I performed in all counties and music competitions. I
finally found a place that I excelled in.
Snap Shot Two: High School, 7th – 12th Grade
My favorite story from my high school years was when I traveled to Disney World in
2009 with my mom, Dawn, and Grant. It was my first time being on a plane and taking a real
vacation. I have always been a Disney fan so my dreams of one day going were finally coming
true! I remember landing in Florida and stepping out to this hot and muggy atmosphere, but I did
not care, I was going to Disney. The anticipation of seeing all the wonders Disney had to offer
lingered in my mind. From the moment of walking into our hotel, to the first time we entered a
park, I was in a fantasy world. Everywhere I looked, something was there to entertain my soul.
My mother brought us to every ride, food vendor, and store we wanted, while Grant and I
laughed and experienced so many new things together. Overall, the memories that we
experienced from the trip to this day brings a smile to my face.
High School for me started in the seventh grade and as I transitioned from Willow Road
Elementary School into North High School I knew I wanted to become a different person. I was
tired of being the girl to make fun of and I began pretending that the system got it wrong with my
learning disability. I did not have one, I just did not care about school. That is why I was in a
resource room and that is why I took tests in a different room, because I did not care. It made it
easier for me to explain it to the other kids and I made myself believe that all throughout seventh
and eighth grade. Reflecting back, suppressing the reality actually increased my anxieties and
made me more self-conscious with school. At this point I started to heavily focus on my looks. I
stopped wearing my glasses and dressed differently. This new me got positive attention from my
classmates. Every morning I remember hiding my clothes as I said goodbye to my grandmother
or changing in school because I knew that my family would think that my new clothes were
inappropriate.
My appearance started a new label for me. It started with being the “pretty girl” to the
“slut” or the “easy one.” Dawn, four years older than me, would come home telling me how her
guy friends called me hot today as I walked passed them in the halls. In the place that I was once
labeled as “ugly” and the “special ed kid” I desperately wanted a new identity and embraced the
one society gave me. However, this reputation allowed people to say or do horrible things to me.
A boyfriend of over a year, who I thought I was in love with, treated me like a prize that he had
won and flaunted it to his friends. Throughout that one year we would argue and I would cry
more than I have ever experienced in a relationship.
In the eighth grade I encountered the worst thing that could happen to a human being. As
all the other students had filtered and settled into their next classes, I was just closing my locker.
As I picked up my books to leave, another student from my class came up to me. Alone, with no
one else in the hallway to see, he began to brush his hands across the most sensitive parts of my
body. In that moment I froze, and as he walked away, I ran to class. When I entered class just
before my teacher began to yell at me for being late, I burst into tears. Later on that day, after
talking to the dean, the principle, and a detective, the situation was resolved with a slap on the
wrist. The conclusion was that I was the one being provocative, with my short dress and tights. I
was the one who tempted the football player to commit his actions. Not many people know about
this, not even my closest friend. My family does not know how much this situation has
influenced my life. Every day I am haunted by the fear that someone is going to do that to me
again.
My high school years changed after that. I started dressing differently and focused my
attention to other things. I began running track and continued singing and playing the violin. I
still struggled with the labels and it felt like school got harder. My sensitivity increased and I
cried almost every day in school, making me feel less accepted within my peers. In every aspect,
I was more discouraged than ever.
I did not know it then, but my eighth grade IEP teacher completely changed my life.
Every day she would remind me of how important I was and each session she would tell me that
I was a sensitive flower waiting to bloom. She would tell me honestly that I was different then
the rest of my class, but that is what made me unique and it did not subject me to being at the
bottom. When I had stressful days with homework or understanding certain things, she would
encourage me by saying that my disability did not define me and that I was just as smart as my
other peers. This belief that she had in me made me work hard to become a productive and
educated student. I soon became a conscientious and caring student because of her.
In the ninth grade the program decided that I no longer needed IEP and moved me to
resource room. An insignificant change to many, but a monumental achievement in my life. I
finally felt like I could do anything.
My mom had been sober for a few years now when she introduced our family to Billy.
He entered our lives with a nervous anticipation. Having only one kid, dating my mom would
mean that he would inherit four more. After a few years his nervousness turned into love and a
willingness to put us before himself. Billy has become the father figure that I was yearning for in
my childhood.
In the summer of 2009, as I was going into ninth grade, I found out that I was moving.
MOVING! I could not believe it! How could my mom do this? We knew Billy would be in our
lives, but moving away from our childhood home into a new house seemed devastating. I should
mention, this new home was in the same town, but over the school border line to my current high
school. I had a year before I had to transfer to Carey High School.
Our new living situation was an adjustment for all of us. As we all started to acclimate,
Dawn started to rebel. These new rules and the resentments she was holding from my mother’s
past made her act out. She started to drink excessively, sneak out at night, and fight with family
members. Just before I was beginning to enter my new school, she left and never moved back in.
This was especially hard for me since needed her during a time when I sought guidance as I
began a new journey in life.

When I officially started at my new school, I was nervous to make new friends, mad that
I would not graduate from the same high school as my family members did, and afraid that the
teachers would not understand me like my IEP teacher once did. With all this doubt, transferring
schools was the greatest chapter to happen in my life. At Carey, I gained a new identity, one that
I could be true and proud of. I had teachers that supported and furthered my academic growth
and I began to explore more things that I was passionate about such as theatre, service, and
history. I performed in many shows, and earned lead roles in a few, including The Cat in the Hat.
I created fundraising programs for child soldiers in Uganda and was awarded an assembly
resolution from New York State. Lastly, with my passion for helping people mixed with my
interest in history, I applied to colleges for a history and education degree, something I never
imaged myself perusing before. I could not image myself where I am today without the
overwhelming support I experienced at Carey High. ward
Snap Shot Three: College
My college experience starts out with an unexpected love story. In the summer of 2012, a
few days after my graduation, I found myself in North Adams, Massachusetts at my orientation
session. Back then all students were required to take placement test before the program began.
As I sat down at my desk and began typing my first official college essay, a man dressed in
MCLA attire passed me. With a little smile and giggle he whispered, “You better hurry or I am
going to delete that.” Paranoia set in as he sat across from me, and questions began to flood my
mind ultimately distracting me from efficiently completing my test. Was he joking? Is he really
going to delete it? He is an upper classman, why would he be interested in me? A few minutes
later, with a big smile, he looked at me motioning while mouthing ALT, control, delete. It was
then that I knew he was trying to flirt with me.

When opening ceremonies concluded, students were divided into color groups with the
Orientation Leaders. Of course, I happened to be placed in the same group as the man who
threatened to delete my paper and for the remainder of the Orientation session, my Orientation
Leader would take every opportunity to talk to me. As the program began to conclude, he made
sure that he had given me his number and as I checked out of the program, he waited outside to
say goodbye. The last things he said to me then was “In the fall, do you think you might wanna
go out and get a coffee together?” I naturally said yes. One month later, and constant texting, my
orientation leader traveled from Worcester, Massachusetts to New York City to take me on a
date. From that day, my current boyfriend Brendan became the foundation to my college
experience and success.
I would become the only sibling in my family to complete and earn a college degree. I
started my undergraduate career in 2012 studying History and Education at the Massachusetts
College of Liberal Arts. I had never lived on my own, especially so far away from home and this
was a BIG adjustment for me. When I first entered college I was a shy, sensitive, and
unconfident student. I still allowed my disability to define me and the goal of achieving a college
degree seemed unrealistic. However, I put my best foot forward knowing from my experiences
that a new environment meant so many possibilities. Along with the summer orientation program
I also took part in the LEAD Academy program which is designed as a multiple day program
complete with various workshops and service projects to help students transition and acclimate
into college. These were my first interactions with college and it had me excited to begin the
journey.
I absolutely loved MCLA, and It became my new home away from home. The people I
surrounded myself with became my family members and I made friendships and formulated
mentorships with people that are going to last a lifetime. My college experience is something that
I took full advantage of. At first I was unwilling to get involved and step out of my comfort zone,
but with some encouragement from Brendan and other peer mentors, I slowly got involved inside
and outside of the classroom. Academically, I excelled. Each semester, especially in the
beginning, I worried that my professors would not consider me “college material” and I always
underestimated my work abilities. However, time and time again, I always did well in my classes
while connecting with my professors on an academic and personal level. Of course there were
classes apart of the required core that challenged me, but those course also presented new
information and ways of thinking. The opportunities that I was given inside the classroom, such
as traveling abroad to Ireland for spring break, being a teacher’s assistant, or joining various
honor societies, allowed me to diversify my academic education. For the first time I genuinely
enjoyed classes and felt like I belonged with my peers.
Socially is where I think college developed me the most. I became so overwhelmed with
everything that was happening around me, that I forgot to call my mom within the first month of
being at school! I first began getting involved with the accapella and theater performance groups
on campus and I continued this throughout my first year and the beginning of my sophomore
year. I later became more involved in the Student Government Association (SGA) by holding
positions such as the class of 2016 council Vice President and class senator. I gradually moved
up in SGA by becoming the Parliamentarian my sophomore year, Executive Vice President my
junior year, and President my senior year. I thoroughly enjoyed the responsibility and change
that I could make within those positions. In addition, the positions taught me critical skills that
have develop me into the professional that I am today.

I also had other various leadership position on campus such as being an Orientation
Leader for four years and a Resident Area Security Monitor for three years. The most influential
leadership experience I had, however, was being a Peer Advisor. Overall, this is the position I
loved the most. As a Peer Advisor, I worked with first year students throughout the year to help
them acclimate to MCLA and provide resources that helped set them up for success. Over the
course of three years, I mentored over thirty-five first-year students, oversaw the Peer Advisor
Staff, and completed two internships that were dedicated to improving the First-Year Experience
program. Even after being student body president, and the accomplishments I made there, I feel
like I made a greater impact on the first-year students I had the opportunity to interact with. By
the time I graduated I was awarded with various honors such as who’s who among college
students and universities, the rising star, and the deans medallion, but those awards do not
represent fully how much knowledge and growth that I gained from my leadership experiences at
MCLA.
As stated earlier, I entered college to peruse a degree in history and education, in hopes of
becoming a secondary history teacher. That end goal changed after I encountered the injustice
we, as educators, were doing to students in our public education system. Coming to terms with
not being a teacher was a hard concept to grasp since from an early age I saw myself as a
teacher. I have always had a passion for helping people, but could not figure out how I could
apply my degree to a job. At the same time, I became heavily involved in Student Development.
I would talk to my mentors about what I would do with my history degree, when the career of
student affairs was sparked into my thoughts. The degree I earned in my undergraduate is useful
in many ways, but does not limit me to a career in history. I believe that the leadership
experience and exposure to the student affairs world, along with the critical and analytical skills I
gained from my degree, mixed with my passion for helping and educating people, has set me up
to peruse and be successful in a positon within higher education specifically in student affairs.
By the time October of my senior year came along, I had already applied to Salem States
Master’s Program for Higher Education in Student Affairs.
Who am I?
Today, I consider myself to be a funny, outgoing, encouraging, serious, bubbly, and
caring Christian, feminist, historian, who is a perfectionist, disciplined, detailed, forgiving, and
sensitive human being. I love the color yellow and my favorite animal is a whale. I thoroughly
enjoy seeing Broadway shows, Wicked being my favorite. I do not like negative confrontation
and have a learning disability. I like to take walks after dinner while discussing current political
issues with my boyfriend. I hate mayo and tend not to drink frequently. I adore fashion and being
creative. When I am older I want to have kids and work in a profession that I enjoy going to
every day. I have a great memory and I am an active bystander against sexual assault. My family
members mean more to me than anything in this world. I love seeing new places, but hate
traveling. I am a MCLA alumni and still enjoy singing. I enjoy learning, challenging myself with
course material, and researching areas of interest. My favorite flower is a Sunflower and I could
lounge on the beach for hours. The story of my life so far is something I consider average, yet
complex. I have faced many challenges, loved, believed, seen death, cried, laughed, explored,
grown, thought, and have always strived to live a happy life. However, these characteristics are
what many encounter throughout their daily lives. Although I consider this average, the
situations, environment, and encounters that I have endured have made me who I am today. I am
Alexandra Elizabeth Kadell.
Part II. Representational Theory of Alexandra Kadell

Development occurs differently in individuals depending on certain key factors and
experiences influence the way someone defines themselves. Some individuals may see stages
while others experience sexual identity as main contribute to who a person becomes. In the case
of myself, it is evident that throughout my life, major characteristics, which have been outlines in
my story, define my personal self-identity.
The Scale of Self (SOS) theory (Model 1.1) is represented as a circle with a scale placed
in the middle, weighted characteristics, and external bubbles influence the scales balance. The
scale represents acceptance of self, while my weighted characteristics are emotional
management, learning disability, leadership, femininity, and spirituality. Last, are external
bubbles which represent outside influences such as worldly perspectives, high school,
alcoholism, education, stereotypes, and family. As external bubbles appear from the outside
world and are absorbed within the circle, they begin to influences the weight of my fundamental
characteristics. Therefore, causing the scale to become imbalanced. As some of those external
bubbles appear they may evolve into fundamental characteristics. Each bubble and weighted
characteristic has played a crucial developmental influence that have shifted my self-acceptance
therefore my identity. Those developmental influences will be analyzed below.
This theory is designed to replicate phases where I shift towards one part of my identity
when they are relevant in my life. I may see that education is a vital external bubble that is
effecting the weight of learning disability and my self -acceptance becomes imbalanced.
However, not one external bubble is designed to influence a particular weighted characteristic
and furthermore, the external bubble context may influence several, none, or all of my weighted
characteristics. As I dive deeper into explanation of the weighted characteristics developmental

purposes, areas from within my life will be provided to understanding how the weighted
characteristics influence my overall self-development.
Model 1.1: Scale of Self (SOS)
Below are the five weighted characteristics developments that influence the balance of the SOS
theory.
Weighted Characteristic 1: Emotional management is the process of identifying and managing
one’s emotions during situations of highly emotional stress. Emotion has become a predominate
characteristic of myself that is influenced by various external factors. From a very early age I
remember expressing my emotions often. Traditionally I know that when I become sad, anger,
frustrated, or even happy, I would automatically cry, within a public or private setting. It has
always been a mechanism that allows my body to release any emotion I was facing. For example,
within my story I disclosed that I was bullied throughout high school and it made me incredibly
sensitive to my worldly perspectives. At any point, anything could send me crying and ultimately
made me embarrassed lowering my self-acceptance. Throughout the beginning of my college
experience, this emotional management was still an uncontrollable aspect of my life until my
junior year where I began to self-control feelings and emotions. This was due to the challenge
and growth that was occurring during this key identity stage. External bubbles such as positive
perspective and mentors strengthened my ability to properly manage my emotions. Now, when
highly emotional situations occur, I am aware on how to cope with emotional management in a
constructive and private way. However, other external bubbles such as family or education
which are sensitive issues for me may shift my emotional management in an unbalanced way.
Weighted characteristic 2: Learning Disability is the development of denial, acceptance,
acknowledgement, and learning style within this particular personal characteristic. Having a
learning disability is a characteristic that influences a person’s life forever and is something
many will never understand. I have had to had to go through various developmental steps within
my learning disability in order to adopt my disability identity and self- acceptance. For example,
during my high school years, I did not want to admit that I was different from my peers. When I
began to get assistance from others, my perspective change is when I began to accept,
acknowledge and figure out what my personal learning style is. My personal learning style has
become a visual and hands on type of learning. Developing to understanding and accepting my
learning disability has been an ongoing challenge. I continually go back to steps of denial, for
example, entering graduate school I find myself unwilling to want to accept my disability. The
external influence of education is now shifting the weight of my characteristic of learning
disability and overall causing an imbalance of self-acceptance.
Weighted characteristic 3: Leadership is the process of figuring out what type of leader I will
become. Leadership has recently become a major development characteristic that I have chosen
to define myself as. However, in order to define the characteristic of leadership, I had to look
within myself to truly see if it was recognition or leadership. This idea of leadership started in
high school as I started raising awareness for an organization called people to people which
advocated on behalf of Ugandan children who were being forced to become soldiers. As I gained
more publicity from my school, family, news stations, and even the New York state legislature I
have to wonder now if it was all for my “leadership” or because I enjoyed the recognition I was
receiving for helping people. Additionally, this leadership role characteristic also applies to my
role as a peer advisor during my undergraduate experience. As a peer advisor, I worked with the
first-year experience program for three years. Within the position, I oversaw over twenty-five
first-year students while managing the twenty advisors. In this role, I work countless hours to
ensure that my advisees and the advisor group were benefiting from the program. As my passion
developed into an internship I worked on helping improve the program by dedicating time to
creating a curriculum for the program. Throughout the experience, I did not expect to see
someone acknowledge me for the work I did because I knew what I was doing for others. As I
developed from recognitional leader to genuine leader, I began to self-identity and accept that I
am a leader. However, I still find myself looking at my current external bubble of student affairs
professional and asking myself what leadership looks like within my new environment, is it one I
seek for approval and recognitions for my initiatives or one to make student succeed. This new
weight it certainly influencing my self- acceptance as I progress.
Weighted characteristic 4: Femininity is the development of my gender identity as a female,
heterosexual that takes pride in the uniqueness of these characteristics, while also understanding
the societal stereotypes and self-perceptions. Being a feminine individual to me means that I
correlate my gender literally to my identity and encompass an identity that is strong, unique,
delicate, caring, and cognizant of the way I look. This is not to say that non- heterosexuals are
not allowed to be feminine, but personally for my self-acceptance and identity this simple means
that I associate my gender as feminine. My development of a heterosexual female is one that I
have always identified with and have never explored with. What makes my development in
femininity so influential to my self-acceptance is the external bubbles of stereotypes that
challenge the way I view my characteristic. In high school, when I was told by my family to act
like a girl, or when people would to be complement me for my looks while degrading my level
of knowledge, is what I base my femininity on. Through my developmental process I have had to
self-identity what makes me feminine by incorporating things I have been said to be while
adding things I know I am. As the ongoing societal perspectives enter my circle, I reflect and
redefine what it means to me to be feminine, causing my understanding of self-acceptance to
shift frequently.
Weighted characteristic 5: Spirituality is the establishment of loyalty to a religious group that
aligns with an individual’s personal moral values. Raised by a catholic family, attending church
every Sunday, serving as an alter server, and attending religion classes every Wednesday, the
catholic religion has become a key indicator in my developmental identity. Growing up in such a
traditional blindfold I was not exposed to much outside of Christianity, however this changed as
I entered college. Having the responsibility on myself to choose to go to church and practice my
faith became difficult. Additionally, being freely exposed to new ideas and opinions about
religion made me take a step back and critically think about my faith. During my transition from
high school to my first year, I developed from my family telling me what I should believe in to
me deciding what I want to believe in. This was a monumental adjustment to my self-acceptance
since I no longer was told that I had to be a good practicing catholic. After reflection and
discovery, I still consider myself a catholic believing in the teaching of the Bible and God
himself. However, currently, as I intend to return to the routine of going to church it has become
extremely difficult for my newly formed identity development and beliefs to fit in with my faith.
The theory outlined above showcases the developmental identity that I believe I have
formed throughout my life. I mainly focused on self-acceptance because with each weighed
characteristic described, I have perceived them as being negative, but have linked them to
predominate experience that have shaped my identity. Personally, I believe that once I accept
these characteristics I solidify my identity as Alexandra Kadell. What I mainly enjoy about this
theory is that it allows for the weighted characteristics and external bubbles to change and
appear. Nothing is definite as I develop and as situations changes the balance of my scale will
shift, never in a bad or negative way, but in a way, that allows me to reflect and foster my
identity development.
Part III. A comparison of the SOS theory to Other Theories
Each theory that has been developed throughout the years have incorporated and
expanded upon theories before them. This is true for the theory that I have been presented as
well. While the SOS theory is designed specifically for my personal development and
experiences, the theory does incorporate fundamental outcomes of development outlined by
various theorist. Section three will explore multiple theories that were analyzed to help design
the nature of the SOS theory.
Within Weighted Characteristic 2: Learning Disability the idea that I have developed my
personal learning style was addressed. In this part of the theory, in order to allow myself to
accept my learning disability, I must work with it in order to function and learn. The learning
style theory that was created by Kolb (1976) describes the various learning styles an individual
may predominately use to understand information. The outcomes that Kolb outlines is that a
person may experience difference between watching (reflective observation), doing (active
experimentation), feeling (concrete experience), and thinking (abstract conceptualization)
(Cornwell & Manfredo, 1994). For my personal learning style, in order to understand contexts, I
need to visual or physically experience it to fully comprehend the material. This matches the
outcome of Kolb’s watching and doing styles rather than feeling and thinking. As I acknowledge
that about my learning style, I will further my acceptance of my learning disability and therefore
my overall self-acceptance.
Additionally, within the Weighted Characteristics 2: Learning Disability, the Forber-
Pratt and Aragon (2013) theory of social and psychological identity for students with disabilities
influenced the SOS theory. Forber-Pratt and Aragon’s theory is designed as four phases that
students experience in a disability culture. The first phase is acceptance, which in order for
students to reach, they may experience emotions such as denial, anger, depression, and
bargaining. The second phase is relationship in which the student begins to create relationships
with people who affiliate within the disability culture. Thirdly is when a student begins to
vocalize their need and becomes independence adoption phase occurs. Lastly, giving back to the
community phase is when the student become a leader and role model within the disability
culture and beyond (Patton, Renn, Guido, & Quaye, 2016). In comparison to the SOS theory, the
Forber-Pratt and Aragon theory has similarities such as denial and adoption. Denial plays an
influential role in balancing my self-acceptance and identity. In order for me to fully adopt and
accept my disability as my identity, I must overcome emotions such as denial.
Forber-Pratt and Aragon’s theory also significantly differs to the SOS theory since two
stages, relationship and giving back to the community, are not included. Specifically, with the
relationship phase, throughout my high school, undergraduate experience, or even today I have
never felt comfortable engaging in conversation with peers similar to me about learning
disabilities. Although, this is seen as a critical aspect of Forber-Pratt and Aragon’s theory for
students to develop, it is not reflexed within the SOS theory. In addition, Forber-Pratt and
Aragon’s original theory applies specifically to students with physical impairments, as a learning
disability is considered an invisible disability, the context of the theory was interpreted to apply
to the SOS theory. Lastly, Forber-Pratt and Aragon outline the theory into phases, while the SOS
theory is fluid and influences the balance board when different experiences occur (Patton, et al.
2016).
From the transition from high school leadership to my undergraduate experience and now
the Weighted Characteristic 3: Leadership has become a critical identity of mine and was clearly
represented in my SOS model. Throughout my leadership development I expressed that I

transitions from being a recognitional leader to a genuine leader. This metamorphosis is also
seen in parts of the Leadership Identity Development (LID) Model (Komives, Owen,
Longerbeam, Mainella, & Osteen, 2005). The LID model goes through six stages; awareness,
exploration and engagement, leadership identity, leadership differentiated, Generativity, and
Integration synthesis in which a student experiences cross roads, reflective moments, and
identification of their own leadership (Komives, et al., 2006). Stages one: awareness, stage three:
Leadership Identified, and stage five: Generativity are outcomes of the LID theory that directly
applied to the SOS theory. In stage one, a student is being introduced to the idea of leadership
when teachers or an adult figure recognizes them, as seen in my personal leadership development
in high school. In stage three: leadership identified, leadership is seen as a position and therefore
a person within that position is a leader, clearly evident in my positions in undergraduate as SGA
president. Lastly stage five: Generativity, is when a person begins to view leadership as the care
and welfare of others, my current perspective of myself in student affairs and working with first
year students (Komives, et at., 2006).
What is not clearly represented in SOS model that is seen in the LID model is three
stages, stage two exploration and engagement, stage four leadership differentiated, and stage six
integration and synthesis. The reason why these aspects of the LID theory are not compared to
the SOS model is due to the relevance in relation to my experience. For example, exploration and
engagement, and leadership differentiated are not prevalent aspects of my leadership
development. Those key components of the LID these two stages do not weigh upon the SOS
model. Additionally, at the current state of my leadership development within the SOS model,
stage six, integration and synthesis does not yet apply to my theory (Komives, et at., 2006).
Lastly, the stages of faith theory (Fowler, 2000) shares multiple similarities to the SOS
theory and resonated as a foundational theory toward creating this part of my development to
self-acceptance and identity. Fowler’s faith theory conveys six stages in which an individual
experiences their commitment to one particular religious organization. The stages include
intuitive-projective faith, mythical- literal faith, synthetic -conventional faith, individual
reflective faith, conjunctive faith and universalizing faith (Patton et al., 2016). As I am
continually embarking on Fowler’s theory, stages four through six are not incorporated within
my theory since those stages typically develop later on during a person’s life. Currently in the
creation of my theory, stages such as pre-stage one: Primal faith, stage one: intuitive- projective
faith, stage two: mythical -literal faith, and stage three: synthetic- convention faith can
comparable to my personal spiritual identity and self-acceptance. For example, pre-stage one,
stage one and stage two are surrounded by this idea of what or who God looks like according to
the direction and perspectives that have been told to individuals by authorities (Patton et al.,
2016). This is much like myself growing up in a catholic household. Those views shift when a
person enters stage three and they begin to think abstractly and critically affair their decision to
their faith. (Patton et al., 2016). This is similar, to struggles of religious identification that I
began to experience in my undergraduate. However, as I grow and other external bubble shift
into my theory other stages may begin to weigh on my spiritual characteristics and stages such as
universalizing faith may occur.
The experiences that I have encountered throughout my life are fundamental aspects that
make me who I am today. Identifying the key characteristic that make me as a unique individual
is challenging, but after reflection life experiences, creating my own SOS theory, and comparing
the SOS theory and other current theories together is it vital to acknowledge that I face similar
developmental processes as those around me. As I progress within the field, the age gap between
myself and the students grows larger and the experiences that have influenced my development
will fade to a distant past. As those connections between myself and the students widens it is
important that I remember what key developmental issues I was facing as a young adult in order
to connect with students. As hard as it may be at time to look at oneself and self-identity areas of
development in student affairs we are committed to helping students within our community
develop, therefore we must acknowledge and reflect upon our identity and development for the
betterment of students and professional development.

Reference List
Cornwell, J. M., & Manfredo, P. A. (1994). Kolb's learning style theory revisited. Educational &
Psychological Measurement, 54(2), 317. Retrieved from
http://web.a.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail/detail?vid=5&sid=6f5a670a-3e83-495d-a9d2-
ffd85a2c44f4%40sessionmgr4006&hid=4114&bdata=JkF1dGhUeXBlPWNvb2tpZSxpcCxj
cGlkJmN1c3RpZD1zc2Mmc2l0ZT1laG9zdC1saXZlJnNjb3BlPXNpdGU%3d#db=ehh&AN
=9407142732
Komives, S. R., Mainella, F. C., Longerbeam, S. D., Osteen, L., & Owen, J. E. (2006). A
leadership identity development model: Applications from a grounded theory. Journal of
College Student Development, 47(4), 401-418. Retrieved from
http://search.proquest.com/docview/195180277?accountid=13661
Patton, L. D., Renn, K. A., Guido, F. M., & and Quaye, S. J. (2016). Student Development in
College: Theory, Research, and Practice (Third ed.). San Francisco, CA: Jossey - Bass.

Kadell Mystory

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Running Head: Your Story and Theory: Exploring Student Development Through Your 1

encompasses a variety of interpersonal, intrapersonal, and cognitive development as well as

continues to take place today.

Part I. The History of Alexandra Kadell

Snap Shot One: Early Childhood, Infancy to Elementary School

more about my life happened before this random recollection.

family we had in New York.

news for being the “midlife crisis bandit.”

Throughout my childhood, my mother did everything she could to raise us right. My

the people I looked towards as parental figures.

and sober person of twelve years.

Alcoholism influenced the foundation of my family. Dawn, as well as a close Aunt,

taught me to be a forgiving, cautious, and sympathetic human being.

such a close nit and loving family.

individuality through singing and encouraged me in a setting where I actually understood

finally found a place that I excelled in.

Snap Shot Two: High School, 7th – 12th Grade

experienced from the trip to this day brings a smile to my face.

classmates. Every morning I remember hiding my clothes as I said goodbye to my grandmother

more than I have ever experienced in a relationship.

I was more discouraged than ever.

resource room. An insignificant change to many, but a monumental achievement in my life. I

finally felt like I could do anything.

school. I had a year before I had to transfer to Carey High School.

began a new journey in life.

overwhelming support I experienced at Carey High. ward

Snap Shot Three: College

then that I knew he was trying to flirt with me.

experience and success.

enjoyed classes and felt like I belonged with my peers.

up in SGA by becoming the Parliamentarian my sophomore year, Executive Vice President my

have develop me into the professional that I am today.

Master’s Program for Higher Education in Student Affairs.

Today, I consider myself to be a funny, outgoing, encouraging, serious, bubbly, and

Alexandra Elizabeth Kadell.

Part II. Representational Theory of Alexandra Kadell

Development occurs differently in individuals depending on certain key factors and

my story, define my personal self-identity.

scale represents acceptance of self, while my weighted characteristics are emotional

therefore my identity. Those developmental influences will be analyzed below.

characteristics. As I dive deeper into explanation of the weighted characteristics developmental

characteristics influence my overall self-development.

Model 1.1: Scale of Self (SOS)

Weighted Characteristic 1: Emotional management is the process of identifying and managing

made me embarrassed lowering my self-acceptance. Throughout the beginning of my college

Weighted characteristic 2: Learning Disability is the development of denial, acceptance,

external influence of education is now shifting the weight of my characteristic of learning

disability and overall causing an imbalance of self-acceptance.

weight it certainly influencing my self- acceptance as I progress.

Weighted characteristic 4: Femininity is the development of my gender identity as a female,

that I associate my gender as feminine. My development of a heterosexual female is one that I

femininity so influential to my self-acceptance is the external bubbles of stereotypes that

redefine what it means to me to be feminine, causing my understanding of self-acceptance to

Weighted characteristic 5: Spirituality is the establishment of loyalty to a religious group that

Part III. A comparison of the SOS theory to Other Theories

experiences, the theory does incorporate fundamental outcomes of development outlined by

the nature of the SOS theory.

experimentation), feeling (concrete experience), and thinking (abstract conceptualization)

Additionally, within the Weighted Characteristics 2: Learning Disability, the Forber-

accept my disability as my identity, I must overcome emotions such as denial.

represented in my SOS model. Throughout my leadership development I expressed that I

exploration and engagement, leadership identity, leadership differentiated, Generativity, and

year students (Komives, et at., 2006).