NCAA
reaches
agreement
on
Competitive
Eating
Program


At
a
meeting
of
college
Athletic
Directors,
an
in‐principle
agreement
was
reached
to
establish

a
college
competitive
eating
program.
A
spokesman
for
the
NCAA
stated
that
following
the

popularity
of
the
ESPN
coverage
of
the
Major
League
Eating
events
and
America’s
increasing

desire
for
sedentary
pursuits
it
became
evident
that
the
time
was
right
for
colleges
to

establish
their
own
programs.

The
spokesman
went
on
to
say
that
the
new
venture
would
fill
a
gaping
hole
in
their
college

championship
tournament
schedule.
“The
culmination
of
the
football
season
occurs
in
January

and
basketball
has
its
March
madness”,
he
said.
“There
is
a
long
gap
from
then
until
the

College
World
Series,
so
a
Competitive
Eating
tournament
in
the
April‐May
timeframe
would

provide
an
exciting
option
for
us.”

“The
colleges
also
have
an
obligation
to
the
greater
community
to
promote
the
next

generation
of
leaders”,
explained
Dan
Guerrero,
AD
of
UCLA.
“Where
are
the
future
Joey

Chestnuts
going
to
come
from?
There
is
an
enormous
hole
in
gluttonous
aptitude
out
there:

look
at
the
difference
between
first
and
second
in
the
recent
Hot
Dog
championships
held

over
the
July
4
weekend.
Our
goal
is
to
discover
and
develop
talent
using
the
same
dedication

and
scientific
approach
that
goes
into
our
other
athletic
pursuits.”

School
presidents
are
already
excited
about
the
potential
of
the
new
program.
“We
have
been

contacted
by
a
major
fast
food
organization
which
is
proposing
to
establish
a
chair
in

Alternative
Nutrition”,
stated
South
Carolina
president
Harris
Pastides.
“A
whole
new
slate
of

scholarships
will
become
available
to
find
the
best
young
talent
to
become
Game
Cocks.”

Rising
high
school
senior
Todd
Levington
of
Biloxi,
Mississippi,
is
delighted
with
the

possibility
of
obtaining
a
college
education
subsidized
by
the
new
scholarships.
“For
last
three

years
I’ve
watched
as
the
best
baseballers,
cheerleaders,
and
footballers
have
been
signed
to

full
or
partial
rides
that
enabled
them
to
study
the
discipline
of
their
choice.
Now
it’s
my
turn”,

he
said.
Levington
is
already
famous
for
his
ability
to
consume
vast
quantities
of
chicken

nuggets
at
lunchtime.
His
dedication
extends
outside
the
cafeteria
to
the
school
dumpsters

where
he
is
often
found
honing
his
craft.
“I
intend
to
sit
the
FATs
later
this
year
and
achieve
at

least
a
5200
(calories)
while
maintaining
my
LDLs
above
165.”


In
keeping
with
the
NCAA’s
philosophy
of
promoting
the
culture
of
its
member
colleges,
the

intramural
programs
will
feature
foodstuffs
of
the
region.
“Of
course
our
Varsity
program
will

be
devoted
to
the
cuisine
of
the
professional
leagues,
but
we
recognize
that
not
all
our
athletes

will
end
up
in
the
professional
ranks.
So,
as
it
is
important
to
graduate
a
well‐rounded

individual,
we
will
allow
the
conferences
to
choose
a
regional
specialty
upon
which
their

participants
can
engorge
themselves.
For
example,
the
SEC
is
planning
on
using
‘hush

puppies’,
which
serves
as
a
gateway
food
for
the
Varsity
hot
dog
program.”

The
NCAA
has
denied
its
members
are
being
pressured
to
change
their
school
mascots
during

Competitive
Eating
events.
Rumors
have
abounded
about
Virginia
Tech’s
Hokie
Bird
being

fitted
with
a

“ButterBall”
sash,
or
that
Louisville
had
created
prototypes
of
the
Hamburgler
in

the
livery
of
the
famous
college.
“Signage
and
advertizing
restrictions
will
be
identical
to
our

other
sports”
stated
Morgan
Burke,
AD
at
Purdue.
“However,
we
are
working
with
various

groups
interested
in
the
food
and
beverage
concessions.”
He
went
on
to
add,
“Purdue
has

always
had
a
commitment
to
quality.”

A
meeting
of
NCAA
officials
in
September
will
finalize
details
including
menus,
recruitment

guidelines,
and
scheduling.
The
current
plan
is
for
the
first
competition
to
take
place
in

February
2012,
a
rib‐fest
at
the
University
of
Texas
at
Austin
campus.
ESPN‐U
will
be

providing
coverage
of
all
Division
I
events.