Name: Sara Escobar

IDEALIZED WOMEN

THE PROBLEM

Every women and girl in the United

States wants to achieve the idealized

beauty that popular culture has imposed.

It is really distressing to see how women

and girls in the us are obsessed with

beauty.

Women cannot escape feeling judged on

their physical appearance. As a result of

feeling criticized, they start to feel insecure about themselves and many of them even start to have a low

self esteem. Because of all this pressure that popular culture imposes, many American Women and girls

start to have absurd consequences.

They start to feel overweight, start to use tons amount of cosmetics, start to dress differently, and even

present cosmetic surgeries. What worries me the most is that this idealized beauty is an increasing

problem. It is invading the lives of girls at an early age, and the parameters that women take just to attain

the look imposed by society, is incredible. As time passes, the pressure is rising, and body image is

creating a terrible expense in all women life.

The concern of all women affect their economic well being. Many of them start to spend infinite amount

of money in cosmetic products and even alter their physical appearances through surgical measures that

may have dangerous health risks. But DON’T WORRY, I have great solutions!
THE COSTS

Women that want to be perfect, and look like a victoria secret angel model, spend tons amount of money

till they reach their goal. Once they do one surgery, they want more and more surgeries because they feel

prettier and better. The hidden truth is that they don't look as a beauty queen… they look less natural and

many times even looks like a witch or a monster.

In the world, women spend a total of 7 billion just in COSMETICS! As plastic surgeries increase, also

non surgical procedures to change appearances increase drastically every year. Also, as time passes, girls

start to spend money on this procedures at a younger age because each time society is imposing more

pressure which causes woman to feel uncomfortable. In 2008 for example, young girls from ages 18 to 24

were given a survey, were the results were that 69% were in favor of surgeries.

I consider costs is not a problem. Why don’t men start to spend the same amount of money in cosmetics

as women? Men should also care about being beautiful! I wouldn’t want to marry a men that has a bad

physical appearance. Men, being kind, respectful, truthful, sincere, and friendly is important, but being

BEAUTIFUL is even more important! If you have a bad physical appearance, I have the solution. Just

start to spend money in surgeries and you will look prettier and better.

Seeing more data, in 2007, 11.7 million cosmetic surgical and non surgical procedures were performed in

the US. If we compare the 11.7 million, to ten years before, we can see an increase of 500% ! I am proud

because women are starting to obtain the image imposed by society! We should not just look how we

want to. The people that are different don’t stand out. We should break this bubble and just be like

everyone else!
WORKPLACE DISCRIMINATION

Looking good and being attractive gives you

more opportunities in some workplaces. I

don’t understand why some people still have

bad physical appearances if they have the

opportunity to do surgeries! Being beautiful

gives you a better quality of life.

A study made, shows that having a good physical appearance can affect on work payment. People that

looked great earned 5% more money and people that looked less prettier, earned 9% less money than the

others. People in the workplace are also discriminated by their weight. People that are thin are hired, and

people that don't look thin, are fired many times! Its time to change our physical appearances and get

great opportunities in jobs!

HEALTH PROBLEMS

When women want to achieve this unrealistic beauty,

they start to do unhealthy things such as smoking to

lose weight, unhealthy dieting, and as I said before

spend tons amount of money in dangerous surgical

procedures. I’m sure that women place themselves in

this dangerous health situations to attain idealized

physical appearance. It sounds sounds great to me! At

the end, women will look great and have great opportunities in life.

According to different studies thirty nine percent of women are

uncomfortable in what they eat and even their weight affects their

emotions, their happiness.. Another study showed that 13% of women just

started to smoke to lose some weight.

If we go deeply, about 10 million

women and girls in the United States

suffer from eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia. If we see

young girls from ages 15 to 19, about 40% are diagnosed eating

disorders. In overall 67% of women are dieting to lose weight and

53% of them have a normal weight and want to lose more. At least

not ALL women are horrible, some of them decide to diet and look

better. Superficiality? Yes society, yes!

LETS COME TO A SOLUTION

Lets come to a solution women. Listen to me carefully! Why

don't we start to hate ourselves? Why don't we start to change our

physical appearances and enjoy life? Why don't we start to

listening to what society imposes, and start to change ourselves?

In our ears we just listen: “you´re going to be alone forever with

that body”. Its definitely true, listen to society!

Girls, we should reflect and start to be concerned from media

and society. Superficiality? Yes society, yes! Women, you are

not beautiful how you are! Just do more surgeries, you’ll look

much better.

People that

are not beautiful, are not accepted in society. Diversity

is horrible! We should ALL be thin, we should ALL be

white, we should ALL be tall, we should ALL have

skinny legs, we should ALL be blonde, we should ALL

have blue eyes, we should NOT ACCEPT how we are.

Respect and love yourself, CHANGE your physical appearance!

Key for DATA

Pieces of data

In the world, women spend a total of 7 billion just in COSMETICS

In 2008 for example, young girls from ages 18 to 24 were given a survey, were the results were that

69% were in favor of surgeries

Seeing more data, I was impacted because in 2007, 11.7 million cosmetic surgical and non surgical

procedures were performed in the US

If we see young girls from ages 15 to 19, about 40% are diagnosed eating disorders. In overall 67% of

women are dieting to lose weight and 53% of them have a normal weight and want to lose more and

more.

KEY for SATIRICAL DEVICES

Satirical devices Explanation

At least not ALL women are horrible, some of
them decide to diet and look better.
In this part of the proposal, I used an
UNDERSTATEMENT, to make this problem
seem less than it really is. We can see that 67%
women are dieting and 53% of them have normal
weight and want to lose more weight. Im just
using a comedic understatement, because i'm
adding humor to a serious situation.

Once they do one surgery, they want more and
more surgeries because they feel prettier and
better. The hidden truth is that they don't look as a
beauty queen… they look less natural and many
In this part, I used a LITOTE, which is an
ironical understatement in which an affirmative is
expressed by the negative of its contrary. In this
case when I say “they are not a beauty queen”, i'm
saying they “are ugly”. You can see that i'm using
an intentional understatement that gives an
ironical effect.

times even looks like a witch or a monster.

Many of them start to spend infinite amount of In this part, I used HYPERBOLE which is an
exaggeration that makes you see things more
money in cosmetic products and even alter their important than what they really are. In this case
i'm exaggerating when I say that women spend
physical appearances infinite amount of money. Its obvious they don’t
use ALL their money in cosmetic products.

“you´re going to be alone forever with that body”.
In this part, I used an invective which is an
insulting or abusive language to express blame or
severe disapproval. In this part, my intention was
to show how society imposes this way of thinking
and is just abusive to women. When women hear
this phrase said by society: “you're going to be
alone forever with that body”, start to diet and do
stupid things just to fit in society.

Rubric corrections

Insufficient Basic Proficient Advanced

INFORMATIVE Includes Includes some In most parts of the Includes relevant

WRITING information that irrelevant text the information that
does not relate to information that information relates relates to the main
Information that the main point. doesnt relate to the to the main point. point. Uses 4 or more
enhances topic Does Not use any main point.Uses 1 Uses 3 to 4 pieces of data and
piece of data or to 3 pieces of data pieces of data and statistics to prove the
statistics to prove and statistics to statistics to prove main point.
the main point. prove main point. main point.