Don’t get me started on poor grammar and word confusion.

Really, how difficult can it be to learn

the rules of one’s own native language? Perhaps even worse than confusing your relative pronouns
or perfect subjunctives, is the misuse of words. Maybe the subtle change in meaning is just about
permissible (for example confusing magnitude and enormity) – but confusing them to the point that
they become meaningless to both the speaker and the listener? Quite simply, if you don’t know
what a word means – don’t use it - look it up; consult the neglected book known as a dictionary. If
you don’t know what a dictionary is… oh dear.

The most irritating thing, though not strictly grammar, it is surely the word ‘like’ which is most
commonly misused. If you don’t know what I mean, just listen to the average teen speak for about
twenty seconds. After doing so, the more ignorant of you will simply look on vacantly, and those
who actually care will find yourselves clenching your teeth in horror and screwing up your face or
wanting to superglue the speaker’s mouth together. Well, perhaps not, but you should. It’s not even
a filler anymore – they can’t all hesitate that much. It’s more like they use it to substitute spaces
between words: even odder considering that when one speaks there are no spaces between words.
Either that or it’s used for the word, ‘said’. Take this example, ‘And like, she was like, I’m like so
annoyed, ‘cause like I was like waiting for ages, and like…’ (You have no idea how much it took to
force myself to compose that sentence). If I were here to replace ‘like’ for the synonymous ‘similar
to,’ it would read thus: ’And, similar to, she was similar to, I’m similar to so annoyed, ‘cause similar
to I was similar to waiting for ages, and similar to...’ You see. Even if it were replaced by the other
use of ‘like’, being synonymous to ’prefer’ perhaps: ’And, prefer, she was prefer, I’m prefer so
annoyed, ‘cause prefer I was prefer waiting for ages, and prefer...’ Understandably, ‘prefer’ is not
quite synonymous, but it will do for the sake of argument. As evident, this makes no sense, leaving
the already complex and irregular English language finally to disintegrate into gibberish.

Two words often misused in English, again, generally by the youth, are ‘genuinely’ and ‘generally’.
This is undeniably irritating. What’s worse is that I’m sure that the people who use the words know
what they mean – they’re just being ignorant. I fail to understand how people can allow themselves
to use these words the way they do. For example, if someone claims that they are ‘genuinely really
tired,’ – then that is fine. Even if they aren’t genuinely really tired, this is feasible. (Even still, you are
not going to be saying that you are ‘not genuinely’ tired, so it’d still be for the best if you didn’t use
it). However, if you were to say ‘I am generally really tired,’ – do you really mean that? You’re almost
always really tired? If this is actually the case, I suggest you see a doctor; you might have anaemia.

Generally is misused in a similar way that the word ‘literally’ is, though it’s often even worse –
actually giving me the urge to lock someone in a soundproof room sometimes. When someone says
that they are ‘literally boiling,’ I start to wonder… So 70% of them is above 100 degrees Celsius and
turning into steam? And they’re still alive? They must be invincible, or alien, or both. The other way
it is used is also slightly amusing if nothing else. When somebody says they are ‘literally’ tired, or as I
heard someone down the corridor say the other day, ‘Literally like, I’m genuinely so tired,’ – How
can you be metaphorically so tired?

There are countless examples of words misused such as these – when people replace the word ‘goes’
for ‘said’ – it’s not even the right tense, besides, she ‘goes’ where? Of course then there is also the
painfully common creation of the word ‘unorganised’ (which to my horror I have discovered is now
in the Microsoft Office Word dictionary), and students trying to draw a circle with a ‘compass.’ The
enormity of the problem (and yes, I do mean enormity) is ever growing - It is beyond me why people
still insist on using these words when they are not sure of their meaning. Why do they not think
about it? When pointed out, everyone appears to know that the word ‘like’ is grossly overused, and
when caught saying it they simply either look mildly guilty or fairly angry; they are just being
ignorant.

Grammar. Grammar. It is shocking how people can continue to make these mistakes despite being
told over and over again. It should be natural anyway –native English speakers have no excuse.
Appallingly, grammar is something that is being pushed further and further off the school curriculum;
being replaced cruelly by learning specific texts, or poetry, or controlled assessments. Which is fine
and all – but teach us grammar first. Even still - I have had two grammar lessons in my life – one on
sentence structure and another on commas. Sure, there gave also been some extra grammatical
inputs in lessons – but that’s not that many. Does this not prove that even without lessons there is
no excuse not to know your grammar? Punctuation is just as bad, or worse in some places.

Students, and adults sometimes for that matter, often seem to be either comma and apostrophe
happy, or have an unconditional fear of these small marks that help enormously with reading. Which
is why to use good punctuation matters. When I look up something on the internet and I find an
answer by some idiot who cannot be bothered to move his fingers from the letter keys, I
automatically click away. He (or she) could be greatly intelligent, but it’s just painful to read, and
frankly, I don’t want to waste my time deciphering it. Punctuation is there for a reason – to make
written work legible. Apostrophes are there for a few reasons – for example to show whether a
noun or pronoun is possessive or not.

This is one of the most, if not the most irritatingly widespread mistake seen across the country. The
famous is example (not that many would know) is ‘Grocer’s, Grocers’ and Grocers’. The first implies
something belonging to one grocer, the second, belonging to more than one grocer, and the latter –
just a bunch of grocers. This is seen everywhere, and it’s infuriating. The pub in which my mother
works is excruciatingly named ‘The Queens Head’. With no apostrophe. I can’t even laugh at it
meaning something different – it just doesn’t make sense. So there are multiple queens with one
head? That’s what it seems to be saying. I have to avert my eyes when I walk past to prevent myself
finding a paint pot and climbing a ladder to paint it in myself.

It’s almost understandable, but not acceptable as to why some people get ‘it’s’ and ‘its’ confused.
Theoretically, it is ‘its’ that should have the apostrophe as it is possessive, but it’s the other way
round. Once again, actually thinking about it can prevent this problem. The contraction ‘it’s’ surely
must have an apostrophe, as it is standing for the missing space and ‘I’ in ‘it is’. Thus by process of
elimination ‘its’ must be the possessive. I can’t help but correct this when I see it – it stands out like
a sore thumb. You’d have thought if people read over their work they’d see it – but sadly this
apparently is not the case. Apostrophes are cruelly abused in this language, as are commas - They
are either overworked or neglected or imprisoned in words they shouldn’t be in; it’s really not very
nice.

A confusion in grammar actually led on by that abused apostrophe – I like to think possibly in
revenge – is ‘could’ve and would’ve’ turning into ‘could of and would of’. I see how it might sound a
little like this once twisted a little and passed via speech through some semi-deaf people, but once
again, think about it. Does ‘would of’ make sense? I fear within ten years English will have adapted
to allow these sorts of things. Just as ‘their’, ‘they’re’ and ‘there’ are confused – they are completely
different words, yet just because they are homonyms people cannot be bothered to learn the
difference. As with word confusion, there are an infinite supply of these mistakes – fewer and less
(number and amount), is another, along with ‘who and whom, and who’s and whose’. Maybe some
of you are thinking, ‘why bother keeping grammar – English is forever changing anyway,’. This may
be true – but if it continues to change differently in varying parts of the country, England will be full
of separate creoles, making communication impossible. And that is what language is for –
communication. It wouldn’t surprise me if the only people who can still speak proper English in forty
years time are super-keen foreigners. And then of course the super-keen foreigners will come to the
country and be greatly disappointed with the lack of language that they have spent so long
perfecting.

But what can be done? Correcting people evidently has not much effect. Perhaps it should be
insisted that students at school learn grammatically complex languages – say German and Latin.
Then they may be able to grasp the concept of what a verb actually is. But realistically, I fear that
lingual ignorance is a growing evil that cannot be stopped – with grammar lessons or without.