FAMILY COUNSELLING

PROBLEMS IN FAMILIES

 Poor Communication
 Financial Difficulties
 Parent/Child Relationships
 Childrearing Practices
 Alcoholism and Drug Abuse

Causes
1. Care of children relegated to others
 Parental inaccessibility
 Dual career
 Over-commitment to work

2. Increase in the number of mothers working outside of the home

 Modernization
 Financial difficulties

3. Accelerated divorce rate

4. Increase in the number of single parent families

Consequences

 Instability
 Behavioral problems
 School under-achievement
 Juvenile delinquency
 Declining parental commitment

PURPOSE OF THE FAMILY (BIBLICAL)

1. To glorify God and to advance His Kingdom
 Provide and discipline to follow Christ
 Evangelism
 Family Life Ministries
2. Children are a heritage from God (Psalm127, 128)
  Parents are stewards
 Parents should nurture children (Ephesians 6:4)
3. Accept and fulfill commands from God that govern family life
 Form the model family relationships: Genesis 33:5; Psalm 78:1-8; Deut. 4:9;
6:1-9; 1 Timothy 2:15; Proverbs 17:6 and Eph.6:1-4

COUNSELLORS
1. Call the family to the consideration of God’s will for their lives with one another
2. Point families to the explicit Biblical commands of God to:
 Provide for their children
 Provide for the physical needs of the young
 Provide for old dependent members of the family
 Caring for incapacitated family members
 Extending help to the needy in the community through family hospitality and
acts of mercy.

DETECTING THE UNDERLYING PROBLEMS

CASE ONE
One afternoon, I received a call from the mother of a teenage girl Melinda. She and her
husband wanted to come in for counseling with Malinda because the girl was pregnant and
unmarried. The mother was afraid her daughter was considering an abortion, and as
Christians, the parents found this totally unacceptable. This was the presenting problem. But
what might be the underlying problem?

 Emotional distance between father and daughter

 Poor communication with her mother
 Pregnancy could be due to incest
 Teenager could be struggling for independence
 Other possibilities

FIRST COUNSELLING SESSION

1. Some counselors bring in all family members and get first hand information from each
about how the family operates and what strategies are used to cope with stress
2. Others bring in parents first, then children and then the entire family
3. Collect information on the history of the family
 4. Construct a genogram
5. Collect personal information: names, ages profession/career.
6. Be sure to agree on the goals of counseling.

BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVES FOR GOAL SETTING

1. In the first session the counselor wants to observe the family members as they
describe the problem; how they relate to each other; to detect the underlying
problem in the family dynamics
2. The counselor hopes to sensitize the individuals to the ways in which they are
functioning in a problematic manner. He/she then hope to use the information
collected to negotiate counseling goals
3. The counselor needs to formulate a strategy before the end of the first session which
would help to determine whether the whole or part of the family should be schedule
for the next session.
4. The overarching goal would be to help all families improve their functioning as
interdependent groups.

GOALS OF FAMILY COUNSELLING

1. Enhancing effective communication
2. Modifying disturbed inflexible patterns and coalitions
3. Overcoming enmeshment
4. Correcting excessive individualism
5. Resolving conflicts through forgiveness and reconciliation
6. Reconcile relationship with God
7. Reconcile relationship with others
8. Reconcile relationship with family members