1/15/18 Session 2 of Getting Beyond "Just Getting Over It.

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Identifying the Impact of our emotions and Core Beliefs

Name:___________________

How to earn Points *= opportunity for a point in our contest!

*completes all the exercises /report them to me
***** does 1-1 sessions with me after assignments are completed
*** fills out the feedback questionnaire at the end
-Everyone who does each of these things will get an automatic Bonus at the end!
- Whoever ears the most points will get a Bonus on top of that!
* sometimes there will be bonus points within a video!
* extra point for responding to each exercise and setting up a 1-1 time with me before the next video.

Supplement videos, Posted Series sessions, Upcoming Sessions

1/11- Series preview: a conversation about emotion
1/12 Identifying the Road Blocks: The beliefs that shape our behavior shape our lives
1/13 An offering of imperfection: Core Belief and Anchoring exercises in action
1/14 Let’s “end the silence.”
1/15 Identifying the Impact of our emotions and Core Beliefs
1/17 Funeral for the Unmourned Grief: allowing ourselves to experience and express emotions
1/19 Session 3

My Dear Friend,
In session 1 we started to identify the roadblocks- the emotions and detrimental core beliefs
that influence our lives. Now we are here to identify the impact of detrimental beliefs.
(Referencing the work of Teal Swan.)

Beliefs The emotions that we had from

experiences then create our
beliefs. If we address the
emotions, then we can gain
alternative interpretations of our
experiences and knock out the
legs from under the core belief.

experiences/ evidence

emotions- the glue

 "The only Emotions that we
can heal are the ones we
let ourselves Feel
and Express."
~Teal Swan

-adapted from the work of

Teal Swan
5. Love/ Solutions/ Connection____________________________
I want to...
I forgive you for...
I hope that...
Thank you for...
I love you because...
I appreciate you because...
4.Understanding/ Empathy/ Regret________________________
I'm sorry that...
Please forgive me for ...
It is completely understandable that...
I regret that...
I understand that...
3.Insecurity/ Fear/ Deep wounds/ Bad Memories/ Deep Wounds
I'm afraid that...
What I'm truly afraid of is...
It scares me when...
It reminds me of...
2. Disappointment/ Sadness/ Hurt_________________________
I feel so disappointed that...
I feel so sad when...
The thing that hurts me so badly is...
This is why it hurts me so badly...
1. Anger/ Resentment/ Furry/ Blame/ Repel Self or others _____
I hate it when....
I feel so angry that...
I'm fed up with...
I'm filled with rage when...
1. Go through all the levels of this emotional house when you find yourself in a moment of
upset or distress in order to fully process the range of the experience. This if a great exercise to
go through before approaching a difficult conversation with someone. It is also an important
conversation to vcan with yourself about the relationship with yourself. Do this for yourself
when you catch yourself in negative self- talk, shame or upset.

*Take one of your earliest experiences that is tied to one of the core beliefs you identified in
the exercises from Session 1. Walk each floor of this emotional house from the perspective of
your relationship with yourself. and write down the bullet points from it.

2. There is a huge risk to trying to skip over the levels of grief and disappointment. If we are not
permitted to mourn, we will never be able to move beyond it to living a new life.

Here are some of the many kinds of losses that need the opportunity to be mourned.

Direct- an apparent lack of what was once there (ex death of a loved one, loss of a job)
Ambiguous- without closure, loss of something that you had an anticipation of having (ex
miscarriage)
Unrecognized- others don't understand why it is a loss to you (ex others not understanding why
giving up your desire to be a singer in favor of a more "responsible" career path for the sake of
supporting a family was so hard on you. )
Death of a dream/ idea- had an expectation of something turning out a particular way but it
didn't . (ex the loss of the dream of growing old with a partner when a divorce happens)
Conflicts of Self Concept- when your behavior or events do not confirm the idea of yourselves
to yourself. (ex I believe I am a high achiever but I got a poor grade on that test. That grade is
in conflict with the identity I have created for myself.)

*What are your top 3-5 losses that have most impacted your life - your emotions, beliefs that
have become your negative self- talk?

This can be an emotional process. Go back to the anchoring exercise from the first
session any time you need it. When you get distracted, identify what is happening by
labeling it as a "thought" or "sensation." Then focus back on filling your lungs deeply
and exhaling with that audible, calming breath.
*3. How do the stages of grief apply to these losses? What stages have you avoided? What stage are
you in right now? On separate strips of paper, write each loss and all the stages of grief, and the levels of
the emotional house as it applies.
*Bonus point for posting in the comments for this session the stage of grief you are in with one of your
losses.

4. When you have allowed yourself to truly mourn that loss, have a Funeral for the Unmourned Grief.
Gently, kindly, burn that strip of paper and let the ashes be the birthplace of your new life.

Wed 1/17 at 7 pm Central: I will be hosting a FB live to burn our papers together. * Point awarded for
this exercise by posting a pic of you burning your paper posted in the comments for this Session.
***Bonus points will be given for posting one of your losses in the comments for our Funeral . I
know this is vulnerable. But the more we are able to share these experiences, the better we
will be able to process them. Only positive, supportive comments will be permitted. This is a
sacred space and we are all safe here.
Bonus Exercise!
Gary Chapman's 5 Love languages help us realize all the many ways we express love to each other. This
is great for all our interactions , but how can you offer yourself some love and compassion? Can you
speak your own love language to yourself?

* Point for posting in the comments for this session a particular way that you loved yourself. :)

Copy paste this document into word if you want to type directly into it. Or just answer the
questions separately. You can e-mail it back to me and we will set up our 1 on 1! This can be
over skype, face time or in person. In this conversation we will be able to review these things
and I will be able to further personalize the process for you. Can't wait to hear from ya!

With all my love and honor for you in this journey,

Kera Marie keramarierdh@gmail.com