Carla N.

Rico Vera

Oct. 31, 2017

Susie Huerta

English 1S

Understanding American Family and Today’s Society.

The definition of the “perfect family “ varies from family to family. "You're coming to

the meeting, you're going to put on some makeup and you're going to be home at 6 pm every

night with dinner on the table when I get home." Betty says, "No, i'm not , sweetie"-

PleasantVille, Gary Ross. The definition of the “perfect family” varies from family to family.

Having set gender roles that define and limit what each member of the family can or cannot do

describe the early 1950’s, in America. The perfect family model was a mask to cover up harsh

realities that many men and women had to face in order to be socially accepted among others

-men had jobs, women took care of their children, and children were well educated, and attended

sunday school every week. Women were forced to conform to their roles as a housewife and

child caretaker, men were forced to provide financial support for the entire family, and children

were forced from a very early age, to know that their live’s would only be “perfect” if they

married well, and owned a large house. Flash forward 50 years, In today’s ever-changing society,

gender roles are not so well defined and absolute. Splitting up families is become the normality,

the amount of homeless people is increasing every year, and the idea of achieving a high paying

job is becoming ever more obscure.

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More families are splitting up or filing a divorce in today’s society. Back in the 1950s, It

was very uncommon and very much unacceptable to get a divorce. Society looked down on both

men and women who did not have families or marriage that lasted years, and created generations

that lived in the same neighborhood. The model family, as portrayed in the 1950’s, set forth

specific gender roles, “Women who had worked during the Great Depression quit their jobs as

soon as they became pregnant,which meant that fewer women remained childless during the

1950’s. These demographic changes increased the dependence of women on marriages, in

contrast to gradual trends in the opposite direction in the early 19th century. The result was that

gender roles became more orderly and predictable.”(Coontz, 37) Writer, Stephanie Coontz’s

conducted a survey of 100 women which had grown up with the model family idealism, only to

reveal that many of the defined family roles were a result of economic and financial struggles.

Similar to today, 80% of people will go through at least one divorce, meaning that in order to

achieve a sustaining financial support, single mothers must stop relying on their partners for

income and instead hunt for jobs that would otherwise be reserved for men. Furthermore, women

branching out and relying on their own wages demonstrates the strive to break the mold of the

stay at home mom, and earn their place in society as strong and independant.

In addition to the increase of divorces, the rate in which people are experiencing

homelessness is growing exponentially. “On a single night in January 2015, 564,708 people were

experiencing homelessness—meaning they were sleeping outside or in an emergency shelter or

transitional housing program.”(end homeless) Contrary to the principle established in the myth

of having a stable home, many times family was not an alternative to aiding in the struggle to

retain a home.“Reliance on kin and marriage are linked. In other analysis of the National Survey
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we found that contrary to much rhetoric about marriage being a key source for adult ties, it

actually diminishes ties to kin.”( Gerstel and Sarkisian, 66) Without family as a backup in case

families lose their home,many Americans forced into homeless shelters and group homes.

Contrary to the stable income and low prices of housing on the market during the mid 1900’s,

Americans are paying more than 50% of their total income to housing costs. With so much of

family’s incomes going toward housing, many families rely heavily on TANF, WIC, and other

supplements just to scrape by, allowing for no room for fluctuations with housing costs. Low

wages, inflation, and severed ties with family, are the main causes for homelessness rampaging

large cities and poor towns. In order to prevent any more people from suffering homelessness,

the government would have to create the opportunity for a stable income and make a larger

selection of housing open to a lower socioeconomic class.

Additionally, the dream and goal of achieving a high paying job is becoming more and

more difficult in the U.S. During the 1900’s, the perfect family consisted of a single breadwinner

who was in charge of proving a very stable and secure financial backbone for the family.

Today’s economy is not similar to that of earlier times with the possibilities of having only one

family member cover the cost of living. How could one hard working father provide for his

family in the 1900’s but not in the 2000’s? Many families are faced with the harsh reality that

being ineligible for something as simple as applying for a job. “6 million US-born citizens share

3 million households with undocumented residents (mostly their parents). Of these US-born

citizens, 5.7 million are children (under age 18).” states the Center of Immigration Studies.

Unlike the perfect family mold where parents are able to be employed in high paying companies,

many mothers and fathers have to settle for jobs that pay bare minimum, just ot put food on the
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table. Today’s political division between whether to allow undocumented individuals to remain

with full residential rights, or have them deported, brings the country to the edge of a multi

million dollar decision. Dreamers, for instance, contribute, “Their median household income was

$41,000, about $12,700 lower than the national figure of $53,700 in 2014 (US Census Bureau

2015)” also, “Removing undocumented residents from mixed-status households would reduce

median household income from $41,300 to $22,000, a drop of $19,300, or 47 percent, which

would plunge millions of US families into poverty.”(Center for Immigration Studies).

Doubtedly, the main focus of immigration laws in the 20th century focused more on shining the

spotlight on America as a self sustaining, economic global superpower, rather than restructure

society in order to help those immigrants who call the U.S their home. With the country in such a

split for what is ethically right in terms of allowing young scientists and mathematicians to work

and better this country, the strive to grant everyone equality is increasingly important.

Having a model family that has no struggles, whether financial or emotional, sounds too

good to be true. With such a set mold in which we would like to fit our own family, there is little

room for imperfection. Being socially accepted does not have to be the social norm, and base for

living a long and happy married life. “When Judith Wallerstein interviewed 100 ‘happily

married’ women, only five wanted to have ‘marriages like their parents. The women said they

could never be as happy as their parents.” (Coontz, 33). Creating a mold in which one has to bear

through with events in their lives that they are not content or desire, should not be associated

with a happy family. Furthermore, many external factors can ultimately change the definition of

the perfect family - today’s perfect family can be different from a perfect family from a different
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era. We cannot be denied our basic rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, for these

basic rights grant us the opportunity to grow and evolve as a population.

In conclusion, the definition of a perfect family in the mid 1900’s cannot be compared to

the definition of a perfect family in the early 2000’s. Many factors such as homelessness,

separation between two people, and the dream of earning high wages, shape our perspective of

and application of a perfect family mold. Being able to provide financial and emotional support

for one’s own family can easily be the crack in the mold from which a new mold can be made.

However, without society releasing its tight grasp on acceptance, there will always be a need for

a greater goal - a greater picture than just our own lives.