57
Available Now!!
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CONTENTS
ISSUE 245: SERGEANT HACK
REGULAR COLUMNS
GAMEMASTER’S WORKSHOP
5 Table Talk: Letters Page
47 All Things Magic
Our readers talk back White Lightning by Barb Blackburn
REVIEWS
SPECIAL FEATURES
51 Lost Game Safari
by Alan Hume
35 Kings and Things
59 Brian’s Picks
© Copyright 2017, Kenzer and Company, All Rights Reserved. Knights of the Dinner Table® magazine
(ISSN 1526-307X) is published monthly by Kenzer and Company, 1659 N Claremont Ave, Chicago, IL 60647.
LEGAL NOTICE: Knights of the Dinner Table, HackMaster and Kingdoms of Kalamar are registered trademarks of Kenzer and Company. Sergeant Hack™, All Things Magic, Back Room at the
Games Pit, Bait and Tackle, Board Squawk, Brian’s Small Press Picks, Celebrity Hack, Cries from the Attic, Deadly Trappings, Disks of Wondrous Power, GameMasters’ Workshop, Game
Mechanic, Gamer Pulpit, GameVine, Gaming the Movies, Gary Jackson Files, Hacklopedia of Beasts, Hard Eight Enterprises, kenzerco.com, KODT, Lookin’ at Comics, Off the Shelf, One-Two
Punches, Parting Shots, Players’ Advantage, Radio Free KODT, Retro-KODT, RFKODT, Rustlers of the Night, SpellJacked, Summon Web Scryer, Table Talk, Tales from the Table, The Gamer’s
Rant on the Movies/TV. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, The “Indy” Game Scene, the Kenzer and Company Logo, The Quotable Gamer, Weird Pete’s Bulletin Board, W.W.A.G.D. and all promi-
nent characters and likenesses thereof are trademarks of Kenzer and Company.
12 The Plunderers
15 Final Grab PUBLISHER Kenzer and Company
18 I Got This… EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
20 Exit No Return Jolly R. Blackburn • jolly@kenzerco.com
ASSISTANT EDITOR
22 Camera One Barbara Blackburn • barb_blackburn@kenzerco.com
23 Out on a Limb KODT DEVELOPMENT TEAM
24 Alarm Bells Jolly R. Blackburn • Steve Johansson
David S. Kenzer • Brian Jelke • Barbara Blackburn (+1)
25 Utter Bedlam HACKMASTER EDITOR Steve Johansson • steve@kenzerco.com
26 Up in Arms KODT STRIP ART Jolly R. Blackburn
27 Shadow People COVER ART Fraim Brothers
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Submissions: We accept submissions for strip ideas, jokes, cartoons,
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D T ™ was accidentally created by Jolly R. Blackburn
NIGHTS OF THE INNER ABLE
K way back in 1990 as ‘filler’ for his small press magazine, Shadis. It was
something of a ‘creative burp’ and Jolly really didn’t give it much thought.
Kenzer & Company KODT Subscriptions,
1659 N Claremont Ave, Chicago, IL 60647
Perhaps that’s why he was just as surprised as anyone that soon KODT was
overshadowing everything else he’d ever done and that the created was now Back Issues: Older issues and other KODT merchandise are avail-
able for direct purchase on our website at HTTP://WWW.KENZERCO.COM
controlling the creator. The Knights have gone far beyond anything Jolly or the D-Team (David
Kenzer, Brian Jelke, Steve Johansson and Barbara Blackburn) ever imagined. In 2006, Jolly was ATTENTION RETAILERS: If you are having difficulty getting our
inducted into the Hall of Fame. Now, with over 245 issues and over 74 trade paper backs under product (including back issues and RPGs) please call or e-mail us.
their belts, it’s been a wild ride and we look forward to seeing where the Knights take us next.
Twenty Years Ago This Month: Nitro stands in for B.A. while he’s at a convention.
This was the first time readers saw Nitro running a game.
4 Knights of the Dinner Table® #245
heroes
okay — \ get it. FALL, patty.
\ just wanna point out — it’s what
that this was presented as they do.
a “HERO’S MISSION”
when we ACCEPTED the call.
I literally grew up with Knights sitting toward. He at first comes across like a total
around the house. Bob, Dave and Brian are dick gm, but then you realize he’s really
more familiar to me then some of my own being sort of fair.
kin. Allowing players to own their own
EDITOR’S NOTE: The mail just
never seems to stop. While we I just had my own kid this month. I’m mistakes without leading them there. If that
make every effort to read each and hoping he takes after me and develops a makes sense.
every letter, it is not always possible love for Knights of the Dinner Table and I suspect a lot of readers are going to bitch
to give a personal reply. Even if your letter gaming as well. about Brian insisting they ditch B.A.’s
doesn’t happen to bepublished or if you don’t When he’s old enough, I’ll be sending you character and leave him behind. But you
get a direct response, rest assured you are a picture of him ‘monkey pawing’ KODT #8 know what? He was right.
being heard. — the very same issue my dad owned. This is a one off session as he pointed out,
Remember, KODT is an interactive I inherited his collection when he passed not a home game. Why not go for broke and
magazine. We want you, the reader, to be last year. Going through those old issues play it in Dirty Dozen “we’re all
involved. So keep your suggestions, thoughts reminds me of all the good times we had. expendable” fashion?
and opinions (constructive and otherwise) Gaming for us was what baseball is for so Something else, I realized while reading
coming. Opinions expressed by readers are many other father/sons. And your comic was this strip. It’s good to see Brian hasn’t
not necessarily shared by the editor or Kenzer a big part of that. changed as far as his approach to the game.
and Company. Please be aware that due to So happy birthday. I hope you have many I was worried his recent ‘crisis of
space considerations, some letters have been more. character’ might mean you were going to
edited and/or trimmed. — Jolly
Ken Reading ^ forever change the fabric of the Brian we’ve
Aah — touching story, Ken. Thanks for known for so many years.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! sharing it. I look forward to seeing that pic- I think that would be a huge mistake.
Jolly, I noticed it was your birthday the ture. And you are right — it made me feel So I like that he’s waivering and back
other day and it made me realize you’ve old. — Jolly slipping a bit — though I suspect Sara will
been doing Knights for over 25 years. be lecturing him soon.
Well sir, this will make you feel old. My BRIAN WAS RIGHT Really enjoying this story, Mr. Blackburn. I
dad has a picture of me “monkey pawing” eagerly await the next issue (and the next).
Really enjoyed issue 243. I really love Gary So please keep them coming.
his Knights of the Dinner Table #8 just Jackson’s style. I only wish we could see
after it arrived in the mail almost 20 years more of his game but I understand there’s Bill Webb ^
ago!! I was 2 years old. pacing and other story points to march The Delvers of Inebriation
HOW TO CONTACT US
^: Via ONLINE FORUM — Just pop over to www.kenzerco.com and visit our discussion forums
7: via E-MAIL — Send your strip ideas, reader mail, back room fodder and questions to jolly@kenzerco.com
. via SNAIL MAIL — Or write to us at KODT c/o KenzerCo, 511 W Greenwood Ave., Waukegan, IL 60087
z: via TWITTER — jollybgood FB: via Facebook — Jolly Blackburn
Knights of the Dinner Table® #245 5
May 26 - 29 2017 • Milwaukee
N
exus IV took place recently and once again
KenzerCo was there to participate in the fun.
Jolly ran his “Destroy the Hunley” Aces and
Eights adventure, signed sketches. A lot of dice were rolled
and a lot of casualty counters were laid out on the table.
This is a great convention in a great downtown location.
We love the venue with all of the great local eateries and
there were more board games (both scheduled and pick up)
than we could ever hope to play.
Great con, great crowd and great staff. Already looking
forward to next year. See you there. — Jolly oh OH — \’m
havin’ FUN
OVERLOAD —
blowin’ a
FUSE here.
why can’t
we have
NICE
things...?
I
But what about their specialty: healing?
In our current campaign, we were After the combat, everyone clamors
going up against a villain who around the Cleric for healing. Can the
happened to be a rogue. As we Cleric fail? He might roll low.
approached his lair, there were a bunch of Most players alleviate this by having the
traps we had to overcome. player being healed, roll the dice. That
As the party “Trap Finder”, I found a trap, way if the roll is high, the Cleric looks like a
but while trying to disarm it, I ended up hero. If the roll is low, then it wasn’t the
taking some damage. I guess I com- Cleric’s fault.
plained. The GM said, “What did you Spell casters can do well in combat,
expect? The villain is a rogue, he’s going to adding to the damage dealt with little
defend himself with traps. Besides, you chance to look bad. Many spells are “area
rolled a lot of high rolls tonight.” effect”: the caster neither rolls to hit, nor
Of course, the GM is correct: the villain has anything to do with whether the
would have a bunch of traps, and I did roll monster saves or not. When spell casters
some good rolls, but I also rolled some are called on to cast specific spells like
bad rolls. That not why I complained; it “Fly” or “See Invisible Object”, many spells
was because of the situation my assassin like that just work.
The Thief can also do well fighting check has to be rolled twice, one to find
monsters. But when it comes to doing the and one to disarm, that drops the chance
“thief things”, no one helps. from 80% down to 64%.
If the party comes to a locked door, If the GM requires three checks to sneak
everyone watches as the Thief gets out his down a hallway, that 80% chance
picks and tries to unlock the door. Imagine becomes 51%. If you’re not lucky enough
the pressure as all of your companions to start out with an 80% chance of success;
gawk at you as you attempt to do your job. if your skill is at 67%.
But before you even attempt to pick the To make two rolls in succession you only
lock, you better check for traps. have a 44% chance to make it. If you need
The whole party is still waiting on you, as three rolls to succeed then good luck,
you examine the door for potential you’re looking at a 70% chance to FAIL.
dangers. This is where the problem is for The party’s rogue has a tremendous
the thief: to succeed, he has to make two amount of pressure on him; many of his
or more successful rolls. “checks” require multiple rolls to succeed,
In the above example, if the thief fails to most are solo affairs with the rest the party
find the trap, he gets a poisoned needle to watching, not helping.
the finger. If he gets a "high roll" and finds Add to that the fact that many rolls are
the trap, it doesn’t matter at all, because if made with the threat of failure, when
the next roll to disarm the trap fails, he still there really is no threat. You are required
gets a needle to the finger. to check every chest and door because the
If he is lucky enough to get past both one you don’t will be the one that’s
Skill Checks, he still has to pick the lock. If trapped. You listen at doors when there’s
he fails, the Fighter will have to break the often nothing to hear.
door down, or the Wizard will cast a spell, You sneak when there may be no reason
making the thief feel like a failure. to do so. It would be like the GM asking for
Sneaking, Hiding, and Climbing almost initiative rolls and attack rolls for every
always requires consecutive successful room you walked into, just to say, “Never
rolls. No matter how good the other rolls mind, the room is empty.”
are, one bad roll makes the whole effort a So, next time you’re in town, buy the
failure. Rogue a drink. q
Just looking at odds: if a thief has an 80%
chance of finding a trap, that’s pretty
good, right? But because each Find Trap
Knights of the Dinner Table® #245 11
The Plunderers by jolly r. blackburn
A BIG PROBLEM..¡¡
excuse me...
MR. JACKSON!
sir...?!!!
then
oh, GOOD LORD... HANDLE
-sputter- it, son...
this isn’t good.
-sigh-
t-this what is it
isn’t GOOD TULEY...? we’re on
at all... BREAK
in here.
wait - who
the hell is whoah — what
that on the the HELL...?
FORK LIFT...? look at ALL t-they can’t
that STUFF!! do that...
CAN THEY?
^ “\ still don’t know what the HELL \ did to set her off. i’m pretty sure she’s the one who tipped over
that PORTA POTTY while \ was in it at REN FAIR last summer.” —Bob Herzog, KODT Issue #112, Making it Real
they’re GAMERS!
a-are those
the new
BATTLE
we haven’t
MAGE splat
even
books?
RELEASED
those yet.
LITTLE BASTARDS
they’re
CLEANING
us out!
look at ‘em —
yeah - and they’re not even
they’re USIN’ runnin’ around like
the FORK LIFT CHICKENS with thier
to get at it.... heads cut off...
w-where in the
is that a
HELL did he
GREAT
FIND that?
SHIELD...?
^ “\ rolled up a TEXICAN BOUNTY HUNTER with ambidextrous NUMCHUCK proficiency last night.”
— Dave Bozwell., KODT Issue #112, Random Deck of Violence
but,
sir...
keep me updated —
we’ll give ‘em
enough ROPE to
then it’s all hang themselves.
VOID and
NULLIFIED!
they LOSE see what
it all. unfolds.
* See KODT #244: Fair Game — Brian spies the Hard Eight clock on the wall of the warehouse and decides he HAS to have it.
** See KODT #242: Tune In — Norman Bowzer and Jake Berlin are on hand to give play by play commentary on the Golden Ticket games.
MORE...? don’t
ya think we well, \ agree
have ENOUGH, - so why the
brian...? RECALL text?
-gasp-
^ “once when JOHNNY KIZINSKI killed brian’s CHARACTER and stole his STAFF OF THE MAGI he
waited FOUR full days before CORNERING the poor bastard… he gave him a DOUBLE ATOMIC WEDGIE
with a TIE-TWIST. JOHNNY had to use a WALKER for a MONTH.” —B.A. Felton, KODT Issue #111, Big Man in Town
figured
something
was up — so
we MOVED ‘em/.
we hit the
MOTHER LODE.
yo — AISLE TWO. sara
heh —
seriously — you’re OSHA and \ SUSPECTED ‘em
are you
COMPLIANT FORKLIFT CERTIFIED...? of doin’ the SAME
KIDDIN’...?
thing there — puttin’
that’s a SKILL ASSET \ should the ARTISAN precious
it’s what he have been made AWARE of... stone dice — up high.
DOES — at
his JOB.
we need
to take
ADVANTAGE
of this.
well — among
OTHER things.
but yeah — MY think you can
butt is familiar run that TANK
with a SEAT over there and
like this. check it out...?
dave — \ got
hammer to the metal! a MISSION
we got this for you
aisle two ya make it SNAPPY. — HANG ON,
say...? you got as well...
coz time’s a-tickin’. little buddy...
it, STRAW DAWG. PUNCH IT,
bob - you go with im/’ dude — let’s
do this.
^ “the FLOOR of the cell is QUICKLY covered by an ever widening POOL of BLOOD…
you can take COMFORT in the fact your PRESENCE in the world will LONG be given WITNESS
by the BLOOD STAINED planks.” —Brian Van Hoose, KODT Issue #111, A Few Loose Ends
gordo can
you go
with ‘im?
\ wanna start
SORTING the
and if you SEE patty or
okay — what POOLED PRODUCT
b.a. — tell ‘em to
alright, alright... about US..? pile — with an eye
CHECK IN — \ need to
we’re going. what’s the plan. on EXTRACTION.
KNOW if they FULFILLED
c’mon, GORDo.
the items on their list.
good
luck,
boys.
hey, mind
if we grab we’re gonna
some more have to make
dice towers? some TOUGH
choiceS...
* See KODT #244: Dave finds a backpack and other personal belongings while searching one of the aisles.
MINUTES LATER...
so..?
\ DID it! what’cha
okay —
THERE!! \ I’M UP¡¡ ya GOT
up there?
got a HAND
a little GRIP...
that’s about
higher... as HIGH as
\ dare take
good - ‘er, SLIM...
good. a
LITTLE more.
easy — EASY!
don’t break
yer neck..
sunuvabitch —
eh - bunch the BIG GUY
of CRAP — was RIGHT... they’re HERE —
\’m not seein’ at least TWO
anything BOXES of UNNNGH — this
worth... artisan dice... is gonna TAKE a few
MINUTES — they’re
whoah — wait BURIED — gotta
a minute... MOVE some boxes.
got some-
thin’? talk HOODY
to me, hoss.
HOO¡¡¡
oh yeah — GOLD in the
come to PAPA SLUICE BOX,
you NAUGHTY strawdawg!
GIRLS...
B.A. escapin’ —
and something
about a “HEALING
GRENADE”...? *
secret...?
come again?
oh...
that.
* See KODT #244: Eat, Drink and Shop — B.A. and the rest of the Muncie crew who had been in Gary’s game come out after the smoke clears.
B.A. isn’t keen on sharing details of how they all were taken out.
oh no —
UNNNGHHHH....
t-those DICE are
maybe we just so CLOSE,
CALL this one \ can SMELL ‘em.
and head back. almost there...
but \ SEE
what \
need to do...
they’re
CALLIN’
out my
NAME.
there’s a LOT of
SWEET STUFF
on that PILE.
\ HATE to risk it.
relax — \
GOT THIS. they
don’t call me
KING OF THE PALLET
hey — CLIMBERS for...
WHOAH.
BOB..¿¡¡
whatta
climbin’ OVER to
doin’..?
the OTHER GAAA¡¡
SIDE...
\-\
wouldn’t GEEZUS...!!
DO THAT, dude watch
stretch. yer...
^ “on the count of THREE you start your CHARGE across the field. … you reach the MOUTH of the
CAVE and CONTINUE your CHARGE… unfortunately for you, PETE. your ‘BATTLE CRY’ is drowned out by
the RIOTOUS LAUGHTER coming from the REAR.” —Nitro Fergueson, KODT Issue #105, On the Count of Three
MEAN WHILE...
\’m tellin’ ya — it’s just
we came this a TRICK of
\ don’t way before, b.a. shadows —
understand —
playin’ with
how did we
yer head.
get LOST...? something’s
changed...
it’s like a
MAZE
in here. whoever came
up with that
ALWAYS go
LEFT crap
was FULL Of it.
coz it
CLEARLY
doesn’t work.
but that’s
\’m NOT imagining IMPOSSIBLE —
things — there are it would mean we unless you’re
the GRUNGE came from suggesting
WARRIOR boxes we THAT direction... HARD EIGHT is usin’
RIFLED through... SHIFTING WALL tactics
to IMPEDE us. —
only it’s it must’ve
are that’d be crazy.
see...?! BLOCKED... been, patty.
they...?
hello — they
this WALL of DIMMED the
boxes wasn’t LIGHTS...
\’m SURE
here before.*
of it... and GREASED
the RACKS...
\ think we might
\ was HOPING
well, \ hate to have to LEAVE
to give it to
say it, patty... it BEHIND.
NITRO — he’s a
would you STANDING GM.
HONESTLY put it oh \’d HATE it’s PERFECT
but \ think to do that...
BENEATH them? for him.
we have to go
back in THAT
direction...
try SQUEEZING
through that
GAP between
the PALLETS.
it’s also
HEAVY as
\’m
hell.
sorry,
but the patty.
GM PODIUM
won’t fit.
* Crutch’s forklift action is the true cause of the shifting piles of boxes. He and Bob have been gathering boxes and rearranging them in order
to get to the “good stuff.”
it’s a
DOOR!
whoah - well - \
you mean suppose
yeah —
OPEN it? not.
so...? it’s a \-\ dunno
FIRE EXIT. — it says OPEN
“EMERGENCY SESAME...
ONLY”, patty.
wouldn’t
hurt to
take just a
PEEK —
so — MAYBE it’s would it?
a way AROUND
this OBSTACLE.
moments later...
oh gawd...
-sputter-
IT’S
P-PATTY¡¡
well \ was...? LOCKED¡¡
shoot... so now y-you were
what...? SUPPOSED
to hold the
DOOR!!!
so much
for that.
it only
leads to the
PARKING LOT...
^ “okay, everybody STAND on BLUE SCALE’S chest and LOOK PRETTY!! i’m burnin’ off an
IMAGE-SCRY and sending it back to my PROTEGEES in FAARWIPLE. …they’ll get a KICK out
of seein’ the OLD MAN in his moment of GLORY!!” —Pete Ashton, KODT Issue #105, Team Smirk
moments later...
someone opened one
of the FIRE DOORS —
TULEY — WHAT
IN THE HELL IS in the WAREHOUSE.
GOING ON??!!!
get me
EYEBALLS, son.
bringin’ up
the CAMERA
now, sir.
WHERE’S
THE FIRE¡¡
it’s a FALSE
ALARM, sir...
we can’t, sir —
not until the FIRE
DEPARTMENT
comes out.
state law,
mr. jackson.
what kind of
SCREWED UP
wait a minute...
law is that...?
BRING UP CAMERA ONE...
sunuva...
HANG ON¡¡
DON’T
PANIC!! YER
GONNA BE
OKAY...
h-holy
c-crap!
DON’T
PANIC? you
don’t have
the VIEW
\ have...
-sputter-
D-DON’T LET
GO LITTLE
BUDDY...!! hoss — if’n ya
SHIMMY a bit to
your LEFT and
SWING a little...
catch your
TOE on the
END of those
BOXES...
uh
oh...
SAAG — CRACK — SPURK¡¡
WAIT -
WHAT...?!!! \
CAN’T HEAR
YOU OVER THIS
BLASTED
ALAR....
DAVE ...?
how’s it
GOING over
then ALARMS
ALARMS going
there?
start
off —going off,
and NOW
lights go out —
it’s RAINING....?
and NOW it’s
raining.
ya think?
dude, RELAX —
\ TOLD ya —
it’s all PART
of their game.
a-anyone
there..?
DAVE˘˘¿¡¡
d-dave...?!!
can we
HEAD back? h-h-hello...
-gulp-
^ “the THIRD JACKSONIAN LAW OF PLAYER DYNAMICS, sara. ‘all NUKES encountered
in a MODERN ERA CAMPAIGN will subsequently be DETONATED by a PLAYER.”
—Brian Van Hoose, KODT Issue #103, One-Two Punches
remember? you
never authorized
the FUNDS to...
* See KODT #213: It Ant Me Babe and KODT #214: Infestation — Hard Eight’s warehouses were infested by Peruvian Fire Ants that were part
of the “live perils” of the Chia Dungeon Kickstarter Project.
A-ARE YOU
NUTS..¿¡¡¡
B-BREAK AN
I-IT’S ANKLE..?!!
TOO FAR!!
ya GOTTA trust
me, HOSS —
this will WORK.
just LET GO —
this PALLET of EMPTY you can
BOXES will BREAK DO THIS...
yer FALL!!
c’mon bob.
WORSE that’ll but you’ll on the COUNT
HAPPEN \ reckon SURVIVE it! of FOUR....
is you WRENCH
a KNEE... \’ve JUMPED off
FIRE ESCAPES with
or BREAK FLAT SCREENS higher
an ANKLE... than THIS.
ONE...
d-dude -
z
\-\ can’t!
TWO... \ just....
DE PRISA -
THREE... ¡TOME
MI MANO!
SEÑOR -
AQUÍ
ARRIBA...
^ “\ saw what b.a. was up to STRAIGHT off. that ARMOR TRANSFER from MALI to GHANA was
OBVIOUSLY a diversionary tactic. by tying up bob’s ARMIES in BURKINA FASO…brilliant move …
he PLAYED bob like an ATARI 400.” —Brian Van Hoose, KODT Issue #102, My Kingdom for a GameMaster
um.... who
the hell are
THESE guys...?
well - my
SPANISH
is a little dave — \ think
dude — that
RUSTY but... it was HIS — he
one in the HAT
was just tryin’
— he’s the guy
from what \ to get it back.
w-what’s who JUMPED me
understand they
going on? and took my
LIVE here — or
BACKPACK. wait -
WORK here. \’m not
they WORK
quite sure.
here...?
again — my
SPANISH isn’t
all that good.
of cOURSE —
it’s a MASH UP —
they’re
with the SHOPPING
SHADOW SPREE. these guys are
it all makes
PEOPLE¡¡ SENSE now... volunteers STANDING
in as NPCS and
MONSTERS.
no, dave - \
don’t think
you under...
you
don’t you see? this is think?
a TRUE LIFE DUNGEON*
you know — like
at GARYCON...
z
lights, added WATER you to BREAK of PARLEY? you know
TRAPS, the CHARACTER — you’ve — make a DIPLOMACY
been AWESOME. CHECK..?
SHIFTING WALL...
HOLY COW -
GARY really
pulled out ALL
THE STOPS
for this event.
\ suppose \
could TRY — what
did you have
in MIND?
* True Life Dungeon is a popular event and several of the Muncie gamers have adventured in them before.
yes — \ AM.
you OVER thought
it. — we could’ve
just GRABBED
some stuff and
gotten out.
^ “\ thought we drove that point HOME the LAST time you GMed. we TIED you to the
hood of your PACER and DROVE you through the automated CAR WASH on DILLARD.”
—Brian Van Hoose, KODT Issue #102, My Kingdom for a GameMaster
z
HELL have they’re our
you... -sputter- we found
HIRELINGS.
bob’s
“SHADOW
PEOPLE”
w-who’s
that WITH only we
you? have to PAY
‘em still.
only they
pay’em...?
wouldn’t take
for what? MY credit
IN-GAME currency
hirelings...? — FIFTY BUCKS. card...?
before they’ll TOTE
a SINGLE box.
guys —
this isn’t
paco here has gonna FLY...
a SQUARE READER
on his phone.
sara - GIVE ‘em
yer credit card.
that’s it -
HELP your
BUDDY!
and \
PERSONALLY
it doesn’t guarantee a 25
SPECIFY dollar bonus if
WHO has to we get it ALL!!
do the
TOTING...
^ “hey, b.a., \’m moseying on over to that FOUNTAIN and taking a good LONG drink of its ‘CRYSTAL
CLEAR’ waters. matter of fact, it’s such a HOT day and \’m covered with so much DUNGEON GRIME and
all -- \’m gonna DUNK my entire HEAD right in the pool.” —Bob Herzog, KODT Issue #106, Water Under the Bridge
uh...
sure.
too -sputter-
-snicker- kewl!
* It was established earlier in the story that Sara’s character has an undisclosed detail for her character background.
dammit...
c-c’mon, sara. don’t ya have to now you don’t want to MOVE too fast.
ROLL a DIE or something? huh?
SWEET TALK you just wanna BREAK THE ICE.
me, BICEPS. you’re DANCIN’ a DANCE — take it SLOW.
yeah -
dude, compliment her on let’s
her CLOTHES. oh — or l-lemme ALONE!
HEAR it...
her HAIR. chicks LIKE that.
yer not HELPIN’.
^ “oh yes, ‘the slap heard ‘round the con.’ \ was rolling for a
critical and nitro hit him so hard my one rolled over to a twenty!!”
—Bob Herzog, Tales from the Vault #1, pg. 44
m-me?
THERE¡¡¡ let’s just say, \ don’t think HAA! you chose the WRONG
\ see yer GAME, sara. you HAVE what it takes to put MAN to TANGLE with LITTLE LADY.
ya SEE??!! the MOVES on AMANDA HOLT.
you think \’ll BREAK just so happens that
she’s doin’ it AGAIN. and RUN -- is THAT it? JOE LAMPSHADE WILSON
that’s right. she’s
OBVIOUSLY a has ‘SMOOTH PERSUASION’
she’s tryin’ to get AND ‘COUNTRY BOY CHARM’.
lady of CHARACTER.
into yer HEAD!!
is that
so?
^ “EXCUSE ME?? \ believe FOUR of those VENDORS were downed by my WAND OF ANEURISMS!”
—Brian Van Hoose, Bundle of Trouble #12, Hell Hath No Fury
-sputter- huh...?!!
BACK
OFF,
LADY.
s-she’s not uh... before you go oh? and brace yerself. you’re
so TOUGH. HIGH-FIVIN’ each other, what’s not gonna LIKE this...
there’s something that?
whooooah, dude! you should know...
guess she REALIZED
q
YER THE MAN! it was FUTILE to
RESIST me. heh, heh..
no, no, first things first. oh, \’m not a BAD GIRL...
wadda ya MEAN, \’m not going to LIKE it?
RELAX, pumpkin. not REALLY, snookums.
\’m usin’ my
\ SEDUCED you FAIR and SQUARE!
\ FELL for you SMOOTH s-stop callin’ me that.
HOOK, LINE, and PERSUASION
you’re not trying SINKER. to COAX yer
ya wanna KNOW why, \ was
to RENEGE are ya? ‘SECRET’ out.
DRUMMED out of the SERVICE...?
it’s just that,
my character has...
uh oh... she’s BACK- and
PEDDLING dude.
none
of your
TRICKS.
like, \ said before — the CHARGES what’s WITH you, sara? \ thought you had
were TRUMPED up by my SUPERIORS. DAMN!
some real DIRT you were keeping back.
you mean
\ refused to FALSIFY some paperwork you created oh, \’m sorry, TIGER. don’t be mad. you
and they TURNED it around on me. this whole can PUNISH me if you want - \ dont’ mind.
BROO-HA-HA
got me for DISOBEYING a DIRECT ORDER. over that OVER?! sh’ya RIGHT.
LITTLE BIT okay, okay, ENOUGH with
\ tried to FIGHT it but it was a FIX. of NOTHING? the SILLY pet names, sara.
you WISH!
haaa - that’s mmmm hmmm... \ the SEDUCTION BIT is OVER.
likely IT??! WISH \ could
story. see your eyes.
something
\ HELD
back.
-snort-
WHAT..?!!
well
played
indeed.
aaah —
well
played,
SARA.
best way to describe is it for starters, you can make my CAR PAYMENT.
WORKS like a charm spell.
then we can discuss LIVING ARRANGEMENTS.
she’s going to have “control”...?
a CERTAIN degree of
-ahem- CONTROL over you holy moly... oh — and \ was DECLINED on a
— through MANIPULATION. LOAN for a custom made pistol.
maybe you could CO-SIGN for me.
\ DODGED
a BULLET.
z tsk, tsk.
so tragic.
^ “whoah… WHOAH! ESCAPES? no way -- \ set fire to that ROPE BRIDGE seven rounds ago.”
—Dave Bozwell, KODT Issue #169, Lost Strip, pg. 19
be found in the many colorful characters. tunnel as arcs of light flicker from the rod. The
Virtually every character, both large and arcs of light suddenly intensify and begin to
small, are fully fleshed and interesting. And dance over the four workmen, causing their
that’s what makes The Adventures of Brisco chains to fall away.
County, Jr. an attractive wellspring of ideas The four slave-laborers escape into the hills
from which to pull ideas for an Aces and Eights and soon wild rumors begin to surface about
campaign. four men with superhuman strength and
powers.
OVERVIEW
The mysterious orb is, at first, confiscated by
A STRANGE DISCOVERY the mining company and later, by the U.S.
In the first episode of Brisco, we are taken to Government, becoming the McGuffin of the
a remote site in the mountains of southern series that drives much of the action in the first
California where a gang of Chinese slave two seasons.
laborers are being brutally pushed to complete
DEATH OF A LEGEND
a railroad tunnel in order to make way for a new
rail- line. Meanwhile, elsewhere in California, the
famous U.S. Marshall Brisco County, Sr. and his
After a particularly large blast, four laborers
deputies are escorting John Bly by train to a
in ankle chains are sent into the tunnel to
federal prison. The train is ambushed by Pete
remove the rubble and debris. To their
Hutter, a member of John Bly’s gang. Bly and his
amazement, the blast has uncovered a strange
gang escape after shooting down Brisco, Sr. in
metallic orb.
cold blood.
While inspecting this new find, one man tugs
“I AM MY FATHER’S SON”
at one of the metallic knobs that bristle the
orb’s surface, and extracts a rod of electric-blue After the Marshall’s death, the Tycoons (more
light. A strange hum fills the silence of the about them later) put out a call for bounty
Comet knows a
number of tricks.
Counting, Untie
Knots, etc.
Another rule to remember is that Pete is San Francisco. They were organized with the
always right about any issue or topic of express purpose of killing Big Smith and
conversation. ending his slave-labor operations. Now that
Pete is one of those annoying characters who Smith has changed, it is unclear if the Scarred
believes himself to be knowledgeable in all Feet will disband or take on a new cause.
fields of study. As soon as he opens his mouth, TYCOONS (ROBBER BARONS)
however, the listener is painfully aware that Tycoons is the unofficial title given to a group
Pete has no idea what the hell he is talking of the five wealthiest men in the West by the
about and would be inclined to tell Pete so if he press. Between the members of this group,
weren’t so accurate with his pistol. virtually everything in California falls under
OTHER CHARACTERS their control or influence. The members are
The following is a list of minor characters that Mr. Parson (mining), Mr. Kilbrad (shipping), Mr.
have recurring roles on Brisco. Ingram (cattle), Mr. Thoroughgood (railroads)
and Mr. Emerson (banks).
BIG SMITH
Mr. Thoroughgood was destroyed when he
Big Smith was John Bly’s right hand man at attempted to tap one of the orbs for strength
one time. Smith made most of his money by and longevity.
exploiting Chinese-laborers for the railroad.
The Tycoons hired Brisco to round up Bly’s
Big Smith was pushed from a moving train gang, but it has become clear that at least one
while clutching the orb. He was assumed to be of the Tycoons is not above working with Bly
dead until he resurfaced as a sort of “Robin secretly in order to gain control of the orb.
Hood” with superhuman strength.
Tycoons are the classic bad guys in any good
THE SCARRED FEET western story. Profit-focused characters with
The Scarred Feet are a gang of Chinese great power and long reaches who can impact
martial artists who operate out of Chinatown in a campaign (and the players) from afar.
Ionesentient ant/mantis warrior race). I played Pnewly-formed, low-level party was in the
used play a Arduin Grimoire Phraint (7' tall
Btivecampaign
ack in the 90s I was running a Champions
where an "old-guard" hero (ac-
in the 50s and 60s but now well past his
WHAT’S IN A NAME?
in one round. So, by this time and not having
the sense God gave an ant between us (but
APCss a DMnames.
I have a terrible habit of forgetting plenty of beer in us), we all attacked the
prime) had an enemy uncover his "civilian" badger. Monty Python's killer rabbit would
identity (a literature professor with a love of
Thus my Games have contained. have asked for this critter's autograph. A few
Edgar Allen Poe - hence his costumed identity
"Nightraven") and frame his civilian ID for rounds later, the lone survivor crawled away
*Hitler Carebear
murder. Donning his costume for one last clutching the stump of his arm, while the
time, he enlists the heroes to clear his real * The nicking Droid badger feasted on our corpses. By an odd co-
name. They succeed and he thanks them, then * Matt's character who will die horribly at incidence, our next characters were devout fol-
is about to leave by the door when he notices his own hand. (Apply to any campaign) lowers of the Cult of the Demon
an open window. He hesitates, then says: * Chaz's Ninja with a fear of, has night- Badger.—Anthony Ragan
"What the heck...", takes out his grapple line, mares and phobia of cheese.—Tim Hart
walks to the window, strikes as heroic a pose
as a roughly 80-year-old man in a Halloween UNSTANDARDIZED WEAPONS
SUBTERFUGE ABOVE ALL
WRisk,
costume can, and says: "Shall Evil go unpun-
I 've gotten into another Star Wars campaign hile playing a legendary large game of
ished? Nevermore!" then swings out into the
night. One player says: "OK, Nightraven's a (ran by my friend Loki), so this makes it two one that would go on for six
dude..." and the entire table collapses with I'm playing in, and one I'm GMing. In fact, I months, I was slinging dice and taking coun-
laughter.—Charles Brown played Star Wars Saturday and Sunday! tries. I always had a good streak with the dice
But I digress. We're playing a New Republic overall, and it was well known at the table.
MY SHAMAN CAN’T JUMP ship pursuing an Imperial warlord through a One of my friends offered me some gummi
Tmonthswashe firstIawasShadowrun
faraway sector he used to rule, and a small worms, which I accepted. Little did I know that
ever roleplay campaign I played in
one, during the nine team of us takes a transport to a planet to do they were sour worms, sour candy being my
a Community Service Volunteer. some fact finding. We're pulled out of hyper-
bane. I got three chews into one before I real-
We had a session every Wednesday evening space earlier than expected, and asked to dock
with an Imperial station for inspection. Since ized it, and dramatically acted that I was poi-
and with Matt being the best GM I have ever soned. As the turn passed to the poisoner, the
known, my shaman, Night Seeker, survived we're masquerading as merchants, we com-
ply. Long story short, we end up captured, but dice gods turned their back on me as well. He
many adventures. Frequently Night Seeker
would use astral projection to scout ahead for one of our people manages to evade capture cried out, "Get im! Press the attack!" I lost five
the team and faced elementals and enemy and frees us. countries before I broke from the table to gar-
mages, while Boris, the troll samurai, would We now need to recover our ship and get gle with Mountain Dew.
carry his body on his back. In the final session, out of the station, but we also need to rescue
one of our crew that got taken to the infirmary. When I came back, I was already proclaim-
as we were running across a roof top to escape
corporate security, I found myself faced with My character, Zor, is a bit of a fast talker, so he ing that we needed a Geneva Convention for-
a rather large leap to the next roof. I had never steals a uniform and infiltrates the infirmary. bidding such unscrupulous tactics such as sour
I get into the room where they're holding our gummies!—Matt Reedq
W
hile there are many kinds of drinks in the The drink was first created for use by certain
world, the concoction known as White specialty troops of a kingdom bent on conquest.
Lightning is like none other. The soldiers would be given a dose of White
Some people call it a potion. Some call it wine. In Lightning before battle, and they’d become
reality, it is both. White Lightning is a combination relentless warriors.
of a magical white wine that packs a punch in more Some tribes of hobgoblins, orcs and other warlike
ways than one. races use this drink in battle rituals to encourage
The alcoholic content is not terribly high, but the their warriors to become crazed fighters in battle.
magical elixir does have quite an impact. Anyone Thankfully, for the rest of the civilized world, the
who imbibes will become obsessed with fighting recipe for making White Lightning is known by only
for 24 hours after having at least four ounces of the a few distillers. It is a rare drink, not found in most
stuff. drinking establishments.
In game terms it means that the individual takes It is served most often in bars or inns where the
on the Hack Frenzy quirk for 24 hours. (See the military make up the majority of patrons. And, it is
Hackmaster Player’s Handbook for details). most often extremely expensive.
This madness that turns a regular person into a Once the effects of the drink wear off, imbibers
hacking machine does not become evident right report that the after-effects are hardcore.
away. It builds slowly. It takes about half an hour for Hangovers are severe, causing almost paralyzing
the full effects of the drink to manifest. headaches, several hours of nausea that results in
However, anyone drinking a cup of White Light- severe vomiting and dehydration. The best way to
ning will immediately feel a sourness in his stomach mitigate these effects is for the imbiber to drink lots
that should discourage him from drinking another. of water after drinking a cup of White Lightning.
But, if someone should drink more than one of Most commanders who use the drink on their
these strange drinks, the Hack Frenzy will last 24 troops also insist that their soldiers drink at least a
hours for each drink consumed. If someone were to pint of water over 24 hours to avoid having
be so foolish as to drink more than three of these debilitating effects.— Barbara Blackburn
within the space of an hour, the Hack Frenzy quirk
will become permanent.
Knights of the Dinner Table® #245 47
Deep Water
AKA: Now You Sea Me
INTENT: Kill
MECHANISM: trip wire, nature
LETHALITY: High
SUGGESTED DAMAGE: drowning damage
ENGINEER: Barbara Blackburn
G
Anyone inside is sure to drown unless that person
ladsea is an ancient keep built on the can swim well. The water rises up to the 18-foot level,
coast. As the spires of the keep rise high keeping the treasure itself dry and safe.
into the sky, its lower levels are well below
sea level and are little more than excavated caverns.
The keep has been occupied for centuries by a
family of sea-faring wanderers and their families. The
keep is now occupied by a very old matriarch, Lady
Celene Gladstone, and her nephew, Ferneul. The
young man’s mother died in childbirth and his father
has been out at sea for most of his life. It is almost
certain that he has been killed out on the sea.
Since so many generations of Gladstones have
lived in the keep, you might imagine that there are
some interesting items of treasure stored in the cav-
erns beneath.
The family rarely thinks about the treasure, or the
room, for that matter. But, if they were to need to
retrieve it, there is another entrance, a trap door with
a ladder that extends from the floor above. That door
is, of course, concealed from prying eyes, blending
into the cavernous ceiling and walls.
Ferneul has visited the room occasionally. He will
sometimes restring the wire and put the plugs back
into the wall when the tide recedes. He can never
bear to deal with any dead bodies that might be in
the room, so he just leaves them there. Anyone
entering is sure to notice the remains of others who
have foolishly pried into the depths of Gladsea
Keep.q
ings and Things is a silly game, a build keeps, towers and castles before
all of Cthulhu has been around for 35 years and it’s the
C oldest tabletop rpg that uses the same game system it
did when it began. The 7th Edition of the game expands upon
said system, tweaking it out and making a few changes while
still remaining backwards compatible with everything ever
published for the game.
The Keeper Rulebook has everything needed to create characters and gives lots of background
information for the Keeper (i.e. GM) on Lovecraft and the mythos. Skills are defined as well as the
game system: combat, chases, sanity, and magic. Information is here on how to run the game as well
as books and tomes, spells, artifacts and alien devices, monsters, beasts, alien gods, and two scenarios.
The Investigator Handbook is for the players. More information is here on creating investigators
as well as an extended list of occupations. Skills are defined and there are several investigator
SEND REVIEW COPIES TO: organizations to help get them together. Information on life as an investigator and background on
KODT: BRIAN’S PICKS
the roaring 20s are included. Several references and investigator sheets are here as well.
309 S. Dilger Ave.
Waukegan, IL 60085 BRIAN’S RATING: As fresh now as ever.
hey -- 36,000
PEEPS -- it
Can’t HURT.
am \ RIGHT?
I’m looking forward to this one. Really glad these He's not really doing anything bad or conniving, he's
A
stories were the ones you chose next for the ‘editor’s cut’ playing the game as if Gary were BA and I think he can
s the subheading indicates, this is a sounding treatment.
board where gamers can give their two-cents’ deserve some credit for that.
worth on whatever seems to rile them. So pull back the — Red M. 7
curtain and come on in the Back Room. You can leave It occurs to me that even though this is Gary doing
that thin skin at the door, but be sure to bring your the GM and BA playing, the basic premise is the same
opinions with you. Note that due to space limitations aaah — look. the
some letters are edited. GREEN LIGHT on that’s that was laid out in the very first cartoon, the GM is
GARY JACKSON’s great. trying to kill the party and the party is trying to survive.
Got something to say? We wanna hear it. Just use one
table just came on.
of the following options; let’s
^: Via ONLINE FORUM — Just pop over to www.kenz- look in.
On the outside Dave is getting a little annoying? The
erco.com and visit our discussion forums. scene at WP was fun.
7: via E-MAIL — Send your strip ideas, reader
mail, back room fodder and questions to jolly@kenz- Skytower ^
erco.com.
.: via SNAIL MAIL — Or write to us at KODT c/o “It’s Like Brian Wins”
KenzerCo, 309 S. Dilger Ave, Waukegan, IL 60085.
Dave is right — Brian getting to play with Gary
Critical High Podcast Jackson is like the big guy dodging karma and winning.
Great issue, guys (243). This away game with the I’ve really been enjoying this story arc with Brian finally
Knights and Hard Eight is a lot of fun. Can’t wait for getting his comeuppance. And what does Bob do...?
the shopping spree. Just wanted to say I really LOVE the
Essentially hands, Brian what he wanted all along.
Critical High Podcast guy. Norman Bowzer and Jake
Berlin are a lot of fun together. I love their play by play Don’t get me wrong, it’s great story telling. I was
commentary. yelling at the page. It just irks me a bit. So it was good to
Would be kind of fun to see that in real life. Really see, Dave (of all people) call Bob out on it. Good show,
liked the ritual with Crutch casting the spell. That should
KODT 243
Dave.
be a REAL, Hackmaster spell with those components. One thing I really loved about this issue was the two
That said there are some brilliant, Brian moments.
Keep up the good work. — Lance D. 7 announcers. For all the world I swear I heard the two
characters who used to do Celebrity Deathmatch. When in game he becomes analytical and calculating.
Men That Hack Teaser Especially when Brian got Gary mad. I gotta wonder Of course you leave the gnome according to Brian’s logic.
Really enjoyed issue #243 but wow, that MTH teaser what Gary's reaction will be when this game is pirated The game for him isn’t about roleplay but winning. he
really has my motor revved for the new trade paperback. onto Youtube or some other site like that. can’t help himself.
As someone who played a lot of Top Secret back in Other than that the talk in character about what to I’m looking forward to issue 244.
the day as well as Spy Craft, I’m a huge fan of the do with BA's character and the reaction when they
realized the game would live on afterward. Brian is still Randy Task 7
espionage genre and I’ve always loved the Muncieverse’s
being Brian but I can't really fault him for it.
take on things. q
READ
KODT
ONLINE!
60 Knights of the Dinner Table® #245
by larry elmore ©2016
all rights reserved.
The BABY
SITTING
MAGICIAN
Serving the
Muncie Area
-Summon-
me today!!
mark your
Calendars --
no worries, hoss. KENZERCO
will be appearing
you can SUBSCRIBE to KODT at the following
and load up on BACK ISSUES conventions in
and other KENZERCO products at
www.kenzerco.com. 2017
GENCON • INDY • AUGUST 17 - 20
GAMEHOLE • MADISON • NOVEMBER 2-5
HROOO!! CON ON THE COB • OHIO • NOVEMBER 9-12
PURE EVIL
you mean... he DID say it was sorry, kind of HARD
“GOOD” to the to look a man in the
that wasn’t fair — LAST DROP. EYE when they’ve
when you deliver been BLASTED out
PAY BACK you it WAS pretty of the BACK of
should at LEAST clever, newt. his SKULL CAP.
look a man in
the EYE!
while you are trying to “SCAMPER” up the WALLS of THE GRAND SHERIFF TUCK, whirring
scythes are SWINGING on chains to and fro “SWEEPING” the STONE WALLS clean.
meanwhile, FIFTY GUARDS are dropping BOULDERS, sharp instruments and BURNING OIL
over the PARAPETS on TOP OF YOU. a HEAVY BALLISTAE TEAM with a CRACK CREW are
firing SIX FLAME-TIPPED BOLTS the size of TREE LIMBS at you — every ROUND.
dammit, \ have the
\’m CLINGING ACROBAT talent,
yeah, yeah, we GOT that. \ got a SHIELD
TIGHTLY to the remember?
but \’m wearing OPEN strapped across
STONE WORK, nitro
TOED SANDALS of my back - are you
— and sucking in my \ should be able
WALL WALKING. taking that into
CHEST and making a account? also to EASILY scramble
VERY SMALL profile. this ROPE is up that surface!
SIX BRAIDS!
okay, okay... NO, in point of fact, \ did lessee, one pound of CORN DODGERS, a mess kit,
NOT ask what the cook put in the STEW! a fish hook, 100 bullets, a extra pair of SOCKS, a
daniel webster CEE-GAR, bottle of whiskey, deck
you got me there. hrrmph — so SUE ME for of cards, BANJO, 100 feet of BARBED WIRE, a
“ASSUMING” \ was actually buying something blacksmith portable forge with anvil...
DIGESTIBLE when \ tossed the cook a SILVER piece.
okay, maybe NITRO has a point. maybe if \
ROLLED the pup
now STOP maybe all that stuff WON’T tent instead of
laughing and fit in your SADDLEBAGS. FOLDING it...
tell me how
many times \
RETCH before
\ get it out of
my system.
By Jolly R. Blackburn
HOW and WHERE \ will take
out my REVENGE upon you..
seems a little
never CROSS
COMPLICATED.
JOHNNY ONE
SPUR HESTER.
can’t you just HEAD
SHOOT me so \ can
\ think that’s
get on with ROLLING
the LESSON
up a NEW character...?
here.