Part 1: Reflection on Essay 3

1. Based upon the amount of time you spend writing the essay (fulfilling all elements of
the process, from freewriting to outlining to participating in a peer response
workshop), as well as my comments overall, are you surprised by the grade your
essay received? Why or why not?
○ I must say I am both surprised and not surprised. I say this because I notice a
pattern in my essays, the very first essays from fall quarter I have received a C
and I was very upset that it was not at least a B as I had hoped for. With this being
said, each essay I had progressed by receiving one grade higher than my previous
work which is very impressive compared to my impatience for writing essays in
high school. This is where I have feelings of being not so surprised with my
grade. I know I worked very hard to get the grade the was given and satisfied with
how much skills in writing that I have developed from being disorganized to
organized. I will most importantly like to thank my tutor from Pass The Torch and
her support through it all.
2. Select ONE part of your essay in which you did well, based upon my comments,
annotations, and the notes from the rubric. What did you do well and how do you
plan on building upon that strength of your writing.
“The matter of the penalty is that parents are terrified of what their children may face among people on
the street or police officers, America’s system excuses brutality on a colored body for being colored. These children’s
parents had been raised the same way, lost as to why they are punished this way. However, as one grows under these
crucial conditions they’ll notice how colored bodies are differentiated, and regardless if there was a crime done or not,
injustice actions could occur because Americans was built off of discrimination and violence. To prepare their own
children they will use tough love--punish their children brutally to make their child strong enough to resist their own
battles with injustice.
It tends to be questionable when children who grew up in an atmosphere of violence cope by intimidating
other bodies knowing how it feels to be intimidated themselves. Under all the aggression there is fear.”

○ I noticed the I had developed even deeper analysis than I had recognized and from
this improvement I now have more confidence to develop this strength in my
writing further in my next essy with the help of multiple sources I will research.
Also, I liked how the next claim was built off of the end of my body paragraph
with is one way to help strengthen the claim

3. Using the categories of the rubric, select what you think are your ​TOP 3 categories
for improvement​. In other words, ​what areas of the essay do you think you most
 need to focus on in order to develop that part of the essay for Essay 4?​ Why do
you think you struggled with this category in Essay 3?
​Categories include:
○Body Paragraphs: Evidence and Support
○Body Paragraphs: Analysis
○Editing and MLA
○I may have struggled with the following above. Although I have
developed my analysis much more than I have ever before, I could
perhaps explain my paraphrases quite more. I am afraid to do this,
because I am afraid the go to in depth with summarized what the author
has to say and then have my writing go off focus, this was a habit I had
back in highschool. I noticed through this text my analysis was not clear
of who would say what--what I believed and what Coates believed. This
could be a confusion to my audience, and I must be cautious of this
happening in my next essay as well. Lastly, I could have edited my essay
a few more times because I made a mistake in my intro of what Coates
had tried to argue and mistaking said the opposite.
4. Select​ two comments or questions I made in my annotations​ that you find helpful
in understanding how you can improve your writing for the next essay. Write the
comment (quote me) and then write a response to that comment that shows what you
understand about how to improve your essay because of that comment.
○ “Clarity that these are Coates' ideas-- not yours. In other words, this is how Coates defines a dreamer. Also,
since you are introducing this term as his for the first time, consider italicizing it or using quotation marks
around it.”
○ I know understand that I must be careful and distinguish the ideas between myself and the author. This was a
habit throughout the whole essay, and with Essay 4 I must be extra careful because I am using multiple
resources. With this being said I must clarity who is the author and the language the used and what they mean
by using this language.
○ “Before adding on to what you wrote-- explain the quote a little more. What does this quote say, for example,
about the way he feels in this situation? How does it convey his sense of powerlessness? What feeling is he
left with knowing that he didn't even get an explanation for being pulled over?”
○ Overall, I am confident to say once again I have developed in my analysis. However, when analyzing an
exacting text to support my claim I do have some difficulty. One way to resolve this problem is by thinking of
is have “breaking down” the text to invite the reader into the conversation so that they could make sense of
my source as well as what I have to say.
5. What questions do you have about how to improve any specific part of your writing?
List 2 questions you have based upon the comments I gave you on the essay.
○ To what extent can I paraphrase a text to prevent from losing focus?
○ What are other tools or practices that I could review to further analyze my text
support?
Part 2: Reflection on Outline Workshop

1. Based upon your work in class today, on a scale of 1-5, how confident do you feel
about your outline? Rate yourself and explain your rating: 1= not confident and 5 =
very confident.
a. In complete honesty, I rate my confidence of my outline as a 3. I know that it is
not at it best potential. I was exhausted when I had turned it in and I know that the
claim weren’t the best fully thought out sentences. However, I am glad that I had
the ability to easily jot down my concepts of my claims. I have some idea on what
I want to say and write about, however I am having difficulty including the
argument of the extent that unaccompanied minor should come to the US.
2. What do you think is your strongest claim? Write it below and explain why it is your
strongest claim.
a. My strongest claim had to be the false accusation from media. I state, “Media
coverage has spoken on how all these unaccompanied minors come to the U.S
border at once, but don’t mention WHY they come the the U.S. They are
identified by negative word choices such as “Illegals” or “aliens”, when they are
refugees seeking a better life. At this point, it did not have the be the American
Dream to move to America, they were looking to escape poverty and violence.”
This is my strongest claim because I have much knowing on what social media
has to say about the refugees who are seen as aliens. I can create several valid
point on how these refugees are dehumanized by these accusation and nothing
about it makes it right.
3. What do you think is your weakest claim? Write it below and explain why it is your
weakest claim and how you plan on revising this claim.
a. My weakest claim the when I discuss how the US is not the only government to
help these refugees. I say, “In order to find a solution to end child exodus, all
governments that contribute to not giving all unaccompanied minors asylum, they
must end the priority juvenile docket or extend its time for these children to find a
lawyer.” I believe this is my weakest claim because I don’t know too much about
how other governments are tied to not helping unaccompanied minor either. To
revise this, I can further my research by looking at how other governments do
help unaccompanied minors, or perhaps do not.
4. Where in your essay outline do you think you can introduce your concession? After
which claim? Explain the concession you think you might be able to use in your
argument and where you think it might fit.
a. I have an idea of how I would like to introduce my concession, which is when I
introduce bringing these students into the US’s education system. I support getting
them here away from the poverty and violence they face in their home country.
 However, I myself, as a college student and American taxpayer, I don’t agree with
the government giving these kids more money than myself. I don’t get into some
programs because of how my mom only just a few dollars over the requirement to
get in. I feel like an American Citizen should get first priority in receiving money
and enough to cover school rather than having to let money stop me from
achieving a higher education because these other kids get more money to make it
there and not myself.
5. What are your next steps for drafting? Be specific and explain.
a. My next steps for drafting is to use this thursday research day and take complete
advantage of it. I need the see many more sources to understand what point I am
trying to make.

Part 3: Reflect on Research for Essay 4

1. What topics do you most want to research based upon Luiselli's text? List your top 3
topics.
a. I would like to research more information on the Priority Juvenile Docket, ICE,
and Court Cases.
2. For each topic, explain WHY you are interested in this topic.
a. The Priority Juvenile Docket in general just made me question why the Obama
administration passed this law because before then it was duable to do a longer
wait for undocumented families to find a lawyer.
b. I do not know too much about ICE, and would like to know more about the
program because it will give me more stronger claims as to why these families
need to come here, and how it is dehumanizing.
c. The Court Cases are a big contribute to the process by determining what person
deserves asylum and who doesn’t.
3. For each of the above topics, write an open-ended question that you can try to answer
with the research you conduct this Thursday.
a. How are we able to convince society the truth behind refugee’s migration?
4. What is your plan for research? Where will you go to research and find your sources?
Explain your plan for research.
a. My plan is to research the topics that I wanted to use as a resource for my essay. I
will use scholarly google to help me get easier access to scholarly articles and
reviews. Also, I am going to to library to look for reliable books.