Anda di halaman 1dari 1

10 Rules for Parents of

Defiant Kids with ADHD


Your child is blatantly defiant and confrontational, and standard discipline
doesn’t work. So what’s next? Follow this action plan.

1. Stay postive: 6. BE CLEAR ABOUT RULES AND


Rewarding good behavior works better than pun- CONSEQUENCES:
ishing bad behavior. Boost your child’s self-esteem Explain what behavior is not allowed, and exactly
by “catching” him behaving well and doling out what consequences are at risk. Then, consistently
praise. Higher self-esteem and fewer transgres- enforce the rules.
sions will follow.
7. PLAY BEFORE PUNISHING:
2. TREAT BEFORE YOU PUNISH: Make time to have fun with your child, and
Never discipline your child for behaviors that are strengthen your bond in a positive way by com-
symptoms of ADHD. Once your treatment plan pleting creative projects together, for example.
has symptoms under control, you will know which
behaviors are punishable. 8. KNOW YOUR CHILD’S PATTERNS:
Probe your child’s quirks and hypersensitivities.
3. USE YOUR WORDS: True understanding will help you differentiate
Instead of overreacting ­— and teaching your child willful defiance from emotional overwhelm. Know
to fear mom or dad — be a model of how to behave his triggers, and have a plan for potentially explo-
when you’re upset. sive situations.

4. AVOID MELTDOWNS: 9. DETERMINE THE TRUE CAUSE:


Plot an escape strategy for tough events like fam- Comorbid conditions — like oppositional defiant
ily parties in order to ensure a quiet, tantrum-free disorder — may cause behavior problems. See a
goodbye. Conspire with your child, and say, “It’s specialist if you think your child might have more
time to be a magician and become invisible.” Then, than ADHD.
stage your exit.
10. ASK YOURSELF IF YOU’RE
5. ACT LIKE A COP: CONTRIBUTING:
When you’re pulled over for speeding, the police Could you have ADHD, too? It’s commonly genet-
officer doesn’t yell. He asks what you did, and then ic, so an undiagnosed parent might have a temper
doles out punishment. Channel this approach to that flares more often, or impulsivity that under-
stay cool-headed and under control. mines discipline efforts. Take our self-test, then
seek a diagnosis and treatment.

www.additudemag.com/download/