We’re only human

َّ ‫َمنَاألموا ِلَواألن ُف ِسَوال َّثمراتَِوبش ِِرَال‬

}155{َ‫صاب ِ َِرين‬ ِ ‫ص‬ٍ ‫وفَوا ْل ُجوعَِون ْق‬ ِ ٍ‫وَلن ْب ُلو َّن ُك ْمَبِش ْيء‬
ْ ‫َمنَا ْلخ‬

ِ ‫ا َّلذِينَإِذاَأصاب ْت ُهمَ ُّم ِصيب ٌةَقا ُلو ْاَإ ِ َّن‬

ِ ‫اَلِلَِوإ ِ َّنـاَإِل ْي ِهَر‬
}156{َ‫اجعون‬

}157{َ‫َمنَ َّرب ِ ِه ْمَورحْم ٌةَو ُأولـئِكَ ُهمَُا ْل ُمهْتدُون‬

ِ ٌ‫ُأولـئِكَعل ْي ِه ْمَصلوات‬
"And We will surely test you (all) with something of fear and hunger and loss of property, lives and
fruits; but give glad tidings to the (steadfast) patient. Who, when a calamity befalls them, (by
showing perseverance), say: 'Verily we belong to Allah, and certainly unto Him shall we return'.
Those are they on whom are blessings and Mercy from their Lord, and they are the ones that are
guided (aright)."

Is your life an endless video tape, rewinding itself over and over again? Are you re-living bad
memories of your past in flashback technique? Are you imprisoned in your own trauma, and no matter
what you do you can’t seem to move on??? If your answer is “Yes”, then it’s time to take a break and
open the rooms of your locked up brain!

Fear: Has long been known as the enemy of the human race, the doom of the greatest minds, and the
poison to a slow death. It drains you out of energy and sucks every single happy thought alive. Poets
have dwelled on it, writers have written about it and tried to come up with numerous solutions to fight
it; take the idea of Dementors - portrayed by J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series- which are
known for their ability to live on a person’s most horrid memories, triggering their deepest buried fears.
People who are attacked by them are left with nothing but a glimpse of life and are never to witness
happiness again. And that’s exactly how a person, who lives his life bittering on the past and fearing the
unknown is like, and the keynote is; The Fear Factor. J.K offered a solution for a Dementors’ attack, a
defensive reaction by recalling a happy memory, allowing it to fill you up, and hence producing a
Patronus Charm, which acts as a shield to their attacks. However, this is no easy job and very skilled and
people are able to fight them.

So how can a person fight his own fears in the darkest of times, knowing that you are in a state of
vulnerability and might not be able to recall a simple happy memory to sustain you? Truth be told, you
need at least a superpower intervention to defend yourself against those moments of, what I know call
them, Dementors’ Attacks! Unfortunately we don’t live in a fantasy world of witches and wizards who
study Defence against the Dark Arts, practicing some spells and counter charms to help them fight You-
Know-Who!!! Reality Check: If you are a Harry Potter fan, it’s time for you to wake up and learn to
defend yourself in the real world, in the worst of times, in your weakest moments.

Medically speaking, when a doctor wants to treat a patient, he’s usually faced with a problem of
possible solutions, but in order for him to crack the mystery; he has to pinpoint the exact source and
cause of the problem. He has to monitor the symptoms and consequently he will be able to write a
prescription for the patient. Just like conducting an experiment in a lab; First, the scientist deals with a
chemical equation, he then adds some chemicals together, observes their progress and finally comes up
with a conclusion to a new theory or maybe a cure for a disease. And that’s exactly how you have to
deal with your fear. You should first pinpoint the exact cause of your hurdle; where it stems from, either
a past traumatic experience or a stimuli that causes you to re-live a certain painful memory, causing you
to freeze- in order for you to help yourself get over this fear.

So let’s break it down into simple effective steps:

1- Equation
Painful memory+ stimulis ( concentrated) ----------- Flashbacks= Fear
E.g: Failing an exam+ exposed to the same exam again -------- relive the painful event= Fear

2- Observe

“I’ve failed my exam and I must re-sit it so that I could pass. But in order for me to graduate, I must re-
take this exam… Oh my God! I can’t study!!!”

3- Conclusion

“If I don’t study, I won’t graduate because fear is holding me back!”

Having pinpointed the cause of the fear, and observed the accompanied symptoms is a major step
towards finding a solution. Let’s now go deep and dissect the causes of fear; it could be
psychological or physical, depending on whichever cause, educating yourself with the ‘Why’ and
‘How’ is as crucial as the previous Three-Step-Recipe of breaking free from the bondage of fear
before it turns into a life-hindering stumbling block known as, ‘Phobia’!

There are common, uncommon, rare, very rare causes of fear that can be classified as follows:

The following medical conditions are some of the possible causes of fear. There are, however,
other possible causes:

 Anxiety
 Normal reasonable fears
 Panic
  Panic Attack
 Panic Disorder
 Heart attack
 Phobias

Social phobia: Social phobia is an intense fear of becoming humiliated in social situations,
specifically of embarrassing yourself in front of other people. It often runs in families and may
be accompanied by depression or alcoholism. Social phobia often begins around early
adolescence or even younger.

It’s very common to suffer from such a kind of phobia, but if left unnoticed or uncured, you’ll be getting
yourself into an endless line of low self-esteem that would be a huge stumbling block in your life. We’ve
all been there, and we all know how it feels like to be made fun of in public because you’re not the
attractive girl who is tall, fair, and possessing the qualities of a super model, or you’re not that smart-
looking guy who by just passing by a group of girls, would steal their hearts and take their breaths
away… News Flash: our world has set those ridicules scornful shallow rules, in order to make your life a
living hell. So are you willing to give it that chance or labeling you under someone you MUST BE in order
to fit in?! The world’s purpose is to underestimate your unique character, by condoning you to fit into
irrational and materialistic categories of people that by time will turn you against yourself. You’d wake
up one day, look in the mirror and say, “God, I don’t wanna be me!” Soon enough you’ll turn into your
own enemy, by following all the wrong examples of Hollywood “Elites” and you’ll start developing an
Autophobia; self-hatred, self-loathing, blaming your own parents for ever bringing you into this wrong
world you just don’t seem to fit in. And guess what? Eventually you’ll fear your own self, you won’t
accept yourself for who you really are, and you’ll transform into your Doppelganger.

Renowned spiritual writer, Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love, offered a very
inspirational cure in an attempt to relieve us from our own sorrows, and to reach the state of
atonement every one of us is so eager to reach, in her following words, “Our deepest fear is not
that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the
world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure
around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest ...the
glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own
light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated
from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Simply true and if you train
yourself with this concept, you’ll overcome all your fears and phobias that are hindering you
from reaching your destination in this life.

But to be more practical, here are eight practical tips that were mentioned before in The
Prevention Magazine, to teach you how to deal with your fears and overcome them:
 1. Pray: Allah (SWT) is always there “closer to us than our jugular veins” so go to Him,
plead your heart out for He is the One Who has created you and knows every strike of
fear that cripples you to your knees.
2. It doesn't matter why you're scared. Knowing why you've developed a particular fear
doesn't do much to help you overcome it, and it delays your progress in areas that will
actually help you become less afraid. Stop trying to figure it out.
3. Learn about the thing you fear. Uncertainty is a huge component of fear: Developing
an understanding of what you're afraid of goes a long way toward erasing that fear.
4. Train. If there's something you're afraid to try because it seems scary or difficult, start
small and work in steps. Slowly building familiarity with a scary subject makes it more
manageable.
5. Find someone who is not afraid. If there's something you're afraid of, find someone
who is not afraid of that thing and spend time with that person. Take him/her along when
you try to conquer your fear -- it'll be much easier.
6. Talk about it. Sharing your fear out loud can make it seem much less daunting.
7. Stop looking at the grand scheme. Think only about each successive step. If you're
afraid of heights, don't think about being on the fortieth floor of a building. Just think
about getting your foot in the lobby.
8. Seek help. Fear is not a simple emotion. If you're having trouble overcoming your fear
on your own, find a professional to help you. There are lots of treatments for fear out
there, and no good reason not to try them under the guidance of someone with training
and experience.

And finally, forgive yourself, open a new chapter and never say that it’s too late to delete all the
insecurities you’ve got in your system.

Sources

http://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/human-nature/other-emotions/fear7.htm

Phobia:NWHIC
http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/s/social_phobia/intro.htm?ktrack=kcplink#excerpts