Misunderstood Chapter 5 Notes

 Common threads – Common experiences that are shared by many TCKs that can affect
their beliefs and actions. These beliefs are often internalized and when these kids act out
of those beliefs, it can be easily misinterpreted as it contributes to the TCKs feeling of
being misunderstood.
 Nomadic life
o Connection to multiple places
o Continual change is a normal part of life
o Lots of goodbyes to many different people
o Feelings of being a wanderer, rather than feeling “at home”- rootlessness
o Concept of home is diluted and complicated – “Where are you from”?
 Patriotism
o TCKs are biased toward either their passport country or their host country
o Adults can help a child celebrate all the places they feel a connection to.
Patriotism does not have to be exclusive.
 Language and Identity
o Language is not just a way to communicate. It is part of someone’s identity. It is
an indicator to where a person belongs. When a language changes. Identity can
change with it.
o Sometimes TCKs create their own dialects by mixing vocabulary that they have
been exposed to.
o Switch accents to match whoever it is they are speaking to at the time.
 Cultural Chameleons – changing their accent mannerisms and attitude depending on the
circumstances.
o Change who they are on the outside in response to certain situations
o Chameleon nature developed because they are doing what makes sense in their
situation so they can be perceived as normal
o Empathy is developed
o Feelings of isolation
 Pressure to Excel
o Many TCKs come from high achieving families. This causes a higher level of
expectation. Expected to go to a university.
o Fear of failure is developed because of high expectations
 Anxiety
o Many TCKs struggle with moderate to high levels of anxiety
o Hidden anxiety
 Whenever a TCK expresses fear or anxiety, it should be taken seriously
 Something normal to an adult may be frightening to a TCK because of the
different life experience.
o Stressed when they have to make a decision about the future. There is a need to
articulate what they feel
 Expressing the Inner Life
o Many TCKs can become overwhelmed with emotions and they need resources
and outlets so these feelings can be addressed.
o Many TCKs find safety in academic success because of the praise they receive.
There still can be suppressed emotional growth
o Emotional growth suppressed, they may spend a lot of time trying to catch up and
un-learn techniques for suppressing emotion.
o Self-expression through art- art is a form of communication. It can be therapeutic.
 Family Bonds
o Family is essential to a TCK because they deal with a lot of losses in their lives
o Family members are the only constants in their lives
o TCKs may feel a fear of upsetting family members because they do not want to
lose the only constant in their lives. This may lead to suppressing emotions to
keep things in a balance.
o Family rituals are effective because it represents a rhythm, a constant, continuity.