ENGL1301
Name: Joselyne Castillo
What is the title? The essay is untitled.
How many paragraphs are there? 5 paragraphs. 2 of it are not indented.
Read the essay first. Does it tell a story? Yes, in fact, it already tells the problem of the story.
Question
1. Does the title fit the
essay’s subject? Why or why
not?
2. Does the paper have an
introduction?
3. Is there an attention-
getter? Write the attention-
getter. If not, what could the
writer do?
4. Is there a thesis? Write the
complete thesis. Does the
thesis include at least three
points? Underline them in
the thesis you just wrote. If
not, how could the writer
include the points?
5. Is the thesis the last
sentence in the introduction?
6. Does each body paragraph
begin with a topic sentence?
Write the topic sentences and
number them (1st ¶, 2nd ¶,
and so on).
Essay 1 1
Date: January 29, 2018
Essay 1 Peer Review Form
Yes/No Your Answers/Suggestions
NO Unfortunately, the writer forgot to make a title for her essay.
YES The essay has a good introduction but as I observed, the main topic has
been already stated which won’t make the reader get excited for the
succeeding paragraphs.
YES The fact that her topic is about her learning disabilities, this will already
catch the reader’s attention. However, if it is presented in a more
dramatic and organized way, like from the time her parents noticed her
developmental delays, up to the time she was diagnosed, and so on, the
essay would be more vivid and comprehensive. Nonetheless, the writer is
clear to what she wants to convey in the essay.
YES “I was diagnosed with a learning disability.” That was stated on the
introductory part. However, the thesis is very vague and the essay
somehow lacks elaboration. But as her story suggest, I would understand
that she could hardly put it into writing, though I get her point at some
degree.
NO I commend her for finishing the 3 pages essay but I think it would be
nicer if the thesis pointed out in the first paragraph would have been
resolved in the later part of the essay. I mean, she discussed about her
learning disability, she should have stated her support system and her
coping skills and strategies to get by with the said learning disability.
More importantly, she should have stated how her learning disability did
not hinder her dream to be successful someday.
NO Honestly, the topic sentences from the very beginning are the same. I
observed the writer is emphasizing too much on her learning disabilities
without clearly stating how it fueled her to strive more, work
independently and how she was able to manage her everyday life despite
being a person with disability.
 ENGL1301
7. Do the topic sentences
relate back to the thesis? If
not, tell which one (1st ¶, 2nd
¶, etc.), and suggest how the
writer can make the topic
sentence(s) relate better to
the points in the thesis.
Question
8. Does the author use
transitions? List three. If
not, where should the author
add one? Use ¶ numbers.
9. Does each body paragraph
include enough examples to
develop each point? If not,
which paragraph could be
developed more fully? Give
suggestions? Use ¶ numbers.
10. Give an example of a
specific detail used in the
essay. Provide the ¶ number.
11. Do the body paragraphs
end with a clincher sentence?
Write and give the ¶ number
of any clincher sentences.
12. Does the essay have a
conclusion?
13. Is the conclusion
effective, or does it leave the
reader hanging? How could
it be improved?
Essay 1 2
NO As I have suggested earlier, the writer should be mindful of what the
points of her thesis were. Through that, she can make better statements of
the conflict and eventually can make clearer resolutions to come up with
a more vivid ending of the essay.
Yes/No Your Answers/Suggestions
NO The transition should have been on the part where she should have said
thongs things she did to overcome her learning disabilities.
YES To be honest, the writer clearly stated how she really struggled with her
learning disability. How she had a hard time coping with assignments,
how her younger sibling did better than her on reading and math, But,
there was no stated solutions to her dilemma, like on my previous
observations, there is a lacking point where in the writer failed to state.
-
Learning Disability
NO I have seen none.
NO
NO The writer should have stated her desire to do more, strive more and
work more regardless of her learning disabilities, that life continues
regardless of how fast or slow you learn. It is your passion to learn.
 ENGL1301
14. Write the “food for
thought” or final statement.
If there is not one, suggest
one to the author.
15. Check for MLA
formatting.
16. Check for grammar and
spelling errors
Essay 1 3
NO “Life is not about having difficult time learning. Life is about how eager
you are in learning…”
NO Heading in left corner (Name, instructor’s name, course number, date)
NO Header in right corner (last name & page number)
NO Centered title
NO Double-spaced with no extra space between paragraphs or in heading
NO First line of each paragraph indented
YES One-inch margins on all sides
NO Times New Roman 12-point font
Run-ons? Put brackets around it and give ¶ number.
Fragments? Put brackets around it and give ¶ number.
Slang? Circle and give ¶ number.
Misspelled words? Circle and give ¶ number.
Other error? Specify and give ¶ number.