The Outer Planets and the Angles: Paying the Price for Wisdom

March 14, 2012 by Dawn Bodrogi 8 Comments

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Last month we explored the romantic possibilities—and instant attractions—

that can occur when angles meet planets in synastry. The angles act as a kind of
magnetic antennae; we not only sense the world (and others) through them,
but they act as a gateway for the evolution of our consciousness. No wonder
they play a key role in drawing potential partners to us.

Angles and Inner Planets: Review

On the whole, the initial contact between angles and inner planets is a positive
one. We might run into difficulties with the planet involved, but usually there is
something about the urgency and energy of the angle that puts things right,
at least for a time. That planet becomes important—elevated by its contact
with the angle—and both people sense this. We tell ourselves, ‘we can work
this out.’

One of the reasons is that, well, we can work things out with an inner planet.
Inner planets are tangible, accessible. Inner planets have to do with our real,
everyday lives. In fact, the inner planets are the tools we use to negotiate the
world. We feel and sense (Moon), we think (Mercury), we love and connect
with what we love (Venus), we act (Mars), we grow (Jupiter) and we construct
our world and make use of our experience (Saturn). We can make decisions
about each of these planets and functions. We can go with our instincts or try
to correct their expression through use of our conscious will.

The Perversity of the Outer Planets

The difference between outer planets and inner planets is vast. Howard
Sassportas described it well in his breakthrough book, The Gods of Change.
They behave as if they have not a care in the world about us mere mortals.
They are more willful, perverse and complex than any resident of Mount
Olympus. It’s hard to pin them down to a simple function. We understand their
motives—to change us, to shake us from our habits and complacency so that
we become more aware, more alive. But their processes, and what seems at
times to be an abject cruelty, baffle us.

Until we are awakened to ourselves, to our own potential, we don’t

acknowledge them as part of us. They come out of the blue, from a place we do
not recognize. This ‘shock of the new’ is especially potent when outer planets
become active in our lives through our romantic partnerships. When they
appear via ‘other’ we may fall in love deeply, intensely—but we must also brace
ourselves for change and, possibly, for loss. It may be that we are required to
relinquish a cherished part of ourselves.

The Shadow of the Descendent

In astrological terms, it’s easy to see why partnerships are designed to be both
blissful and difficult. The Descendant, opposite the sign rising, represents
‘other’—our serious partnerships, yes, but also the Shadow, as defined by Carl
Jung. It contains all that we cannot see or acknowledge in ourselves (this is also
somewhat true of the IC as opposed to the midheaven). It is ripe for projection:
we pin qualities on to others that they may not possess, qualities that are part
of our own unacknowledged psyche.

In essence, partnership, in spiritual terms, is meant to reveal our darker and

hidden sides to ourselves. This can include both gifts and so called ‘issues.’ The
person with Leo rising and Aquarius on the Descendant may get involved with a
series of relationships that end abruptly, causing Leo to question whether she is
aware of her own need for detachment. The cautious Virgo rising may fall for a
series of saints, drunks and others permanently unavailable, until she
acknowledges her own Neptunian elements and embraces the artist within
(Pisces Descendant).

On the whole, when we’re younger, we fall for the negative expression of the
sign on the Descendant. (Of course, it all starts out positive, with the negative
expression only revealing itself once we’ve gotten cozy.) Wisdom and
experience gradually teach us, and once we embrace that shadow side of
ourselves, better choices become not only possible, but probable.
The outer planets are at their most devastating when we refuse to see. If we
reject growth and cling on to our lesser selves, the outer planets will make sure
that the bond between us and our lesser selves is broken. And one of the
quickest ways this happens is when the outer planet of one chart hits an angle
in the other. It has its strongest impact when the planet touches the
Descendant, but contact with the other angles can be just as intense and life-
transforming.

”Death” by Outer Planets

All three of the outer planets represent a kind of death. We need to die to the
lesser element of ourselves, and the outer planets are there to help us. They
give us divine power on the one hand, and then abandon us with the other. We
get a taste of holy bliss and then are ripped away. I always joke with my
advanced synastry students that they get a choice of three ways of dying: you
can get shot (Uranus), you can drown (Neptune) or you can get torn apart by
bears (guess who?). Which one would you pick?

Actually, we don’t pick. The way we die to ourselves depends on which outer
planet is prominent in the synastry. This can get complicated if a person doesn’t
have much of that element in her chart. A double Scorpio, for example, might
be very comfortable with a partner’s Pluto conjunct her Descendant. Yet this
contact might devastate a person who is basically Neptunian, and unaware of
the power plays that can arise in any partnership. A Uranian used to going her
own way might be shaken to the core by the possessive intensity of her Plutonic
relationship.

All inter-aspects are not equal, and a lot will depend on whether an individual
accepts or rejects certain qualities in herself. This is one reason it’s necessary to
assess the relative weighting of each of the outer planets in a natal chart before
doing a synastry comparison.

›› Get your customized astrological compatibility report for insight into how
the planets play out in your relationships.

When an outer planet hits an angle, all hell can break loose, and often does. It’s
not an exaggeration to say that the relationship can open a person to a new
way of experiencing life—but not without cost, and sacrifice. Each one of the
outer planets demands a price for the wisdom offered. Whether we are wise
enough to accept what is given, and jettison what is no longer working, or
whether we cling on to the familiar at the expense of our own evolution,
depends on whether or not we are willing to sacrifice our naivete and accept
change in the name of our own wholeness. The gods of change may initially
seem like gods of disruption, but in reality they are harbingers of the evolution
of our awareness.

How do the outer planets wreak havoc on your sense of self and your
relationships? Let us know in comments below.

Related Posts:

 Inner Planets to Angles: Electric Bolts from the Blue

 Uranian Lightning: Uranus in Synastry
 Synastry Studies: Navigating Neptune
 Pluto Relations in Synastry: Part 1 of 2

Inner Planets to Angles: Electric Bolts from the Blue

We’ve all felt it at one time or another, that feeling of instant ‘ooo la la.’ Our
eyes meet another’s, we feel a frisson of electricity, and then we know. We’re at
home, at peace, and it feels good to be known. We’re complete. This is the
‘other’ we’ve been waiting for.

There are a lot of aspects that are responsible for this kind of sudden attraction,
usually from the outer planets: Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. The “three bullies,”
as I call them, all act as magnets when they attach themselves to one of our
more personal or sensitive areas.

But the most potent, and dependable, source of attraction is something a lot of
people don’t pay enough attention to in synastry, and that is planetary contact
with the angles and angle rulers. (The “angles” are the Ascendant, IC or Imum
Coeli, the Descendant, and the MC or Medium Coeli.) It doesn’t matter what
planet it is; if it falls on your angles from someone else’s chart you will feel it
immediately, and often profoundly. And because the angles are what they are,
they provide a kind of intimacy that often eludes the outer planet attractions.

Angle Ruler Contacts

Comparison of angles and angle ruler contacts used to be considered crucial

in synastry. In fact, it used to be an astrological ‘rule’ that you couldn’t have a
long-term relationship unless the angles of one person hit the relationship
planets (Venus-Mars, Moon-Saturn and the Sun) of another, or the angle rulers
were in contact, in some way.

The Sun and the Moon are a natural archetypal pairing, much like Yin and Yang.
But the other planets here are considered relationship planets because they
have to do with our relations with the external world. We have the polarity of
Aries-Libra, and their natural association with the Ascendant/Descendant and
‘Self’ versus ‘Other.’ But we also have the polarity of Cancer-Capricorn and
Moon-Saturn. This is the polarity of ‘inside’ (Moon) versus ‘outside’ (Saturn):
What I have within versus what I must make of myself. And these are the
natural rulers of the fourth and tenth houses, representative of yet another
angle, the MC/IC (Imum Coeli/Medium Coeli). Who can deny that both
conditioning (IC) and status/growth (MC) play their part in our attractions?

Angles and the Cardinal Cross

In essence, our relationships are determined by the archetype of the cardinal

cross. Cardinal signs are known by the keyword ‘initiation.’ In other words, our
cardinal houses, and our angles, get things going. This is how love makes the
world go round. It’s no accident that our relationships are often the greatest
spur to our spiritual growth.

But, for some reason, angles are not treated with the respect that they deserve.
While we’re all busy figuring out the meaning of the midpoint between Ceres
and the Black Moon, the angles languish in confusion and anonymity. A lot of
people are uncomfortable with the idea of the rising sign itself, and mostly we
relegate each angle half to one or two keywords: the Ascendant is ‘the mask,’
the IC represents ‘family,’ the Descendant is ‘partner,’ and the MC is ‘career.’
What a sad and simplistic description for so dynamic and active a cross.
Angle Calculations

Our angles are gateways to our own becoming, which is why they are so potent
in relationship ties. Angles aren’t static, but are descriptive of who we are as a
work in progress. (In fact, you can see this clearly if you work with secondary
progressions, in which the role of the angles becomes crystal clear.) When
something touches our angles, it touches the deepest part of our experience
as human beings. Angles open up the floodgate of meaningful experience. This
is why transits to angles are often more potent than transits to planets.

Angles are as sensitive as antennae, as raw as nerves, and as responsive as fuel

to a flame. Angles are calculated by a measurement of time and space. Time
and space create our material reality. In a natal chart, this cross of matter
intersects the eternal spirit (the circle). Ultimately, they represent how we
negotiate our time on this earth. The natal chart is a diagram of the way our
eternal spirit connects and evolves through our earthly experience. Without
angles, we have no compass. We have no North to guide us.

One of the reasons astrology places so much emphasis on the angles in

synastry, is that when angle meets planet there is constant stimulation. If a
person’s planet is on our angles, and they excite or attract us in some way, they
are likely to always do so. It isn’t the same with planetary pairings, who often
learn their lessons and move on. The immediate attraction with angles often
remains stimulating long after that Venus-Mars trine between the charts has
become ho hum. Couples who are still holding hands after long decades
together often have lots of angle contact, or angles emphasized in the
composite chart. They still feel the initial ‘buzz.’ (Of course, this can go both
ways. If there is someone irritating you with a difficult planet, or if your angle is
hitting something uncomfortable in the other chart, you’ll feel that, too.)

Inner Planets to Angles

On the whole, inner planets to angles are a positive thing, unless the planet is
very troubled in the other chart. We get to know that planet intimately through
another being. The planet person feels that planet enhanced and made
stronger and louder through the contact. All aspects matter, but mainly we
should be paying attention to the conjunction (and, by natural course, the
opposition) and the square. These connections get even juicier if the planet
involved is also an angle ruler, particularly of the Ascendant or Descendant.

Here’s a quick overview of the inner planets to angles:

 The Sun on any angle brings feelings of acceptance, warmth and a kind of
creative liberation (I celebrate myself).
 The Moon falling on an angle brings a powerful intimacy, and a sense of
feeling known and understood.
 Mercury on an angle stimulates the desire and ability to connect and
share, and will mitigate any communication issues there may be between
the charts.
 Venus stimulates pleasure, appreciation and often a sense of beauty in
the other and in ourselves.
 Mars brings fire and desire to any angle it touches. It makes us feel alive.
Aside from the sexual component, it provides a great stimulus to get
things going.

Aspects to the IC/MC

We’re used to using the Ascendant/Descendant as the compass for

relationship, but aspects to the IC/MC can be just as profound. When the IC is
contacted, the other person feels like home to us. I’ve known him/her forever;
words are not necessary (unless you have Gemini on the IC). Like the
Descendant, the IC carries a bit of shadow to it. It isn’t the most open of
houses. We take refuge in our IC; we keep our secrets there. It’s where we feel
safe. We may welcome someone’s Sun or Moon or Jupiter there, but feel less
sure whether we want to let Mars in, when he comes knocking. The IC
symbolizes our seat of power, the place we are most deeply ourselves, and we
can feel vulnerable, if that is exposed. Contacts to our IC from another person’s
planet can either inspire a deep sense of belonging, or cause us to feel
endangered and at risk.

Back in the days when social status was destiny (particularly for women), it is
easy to see how the MC played a part in marriage and relationships. The MC
represented your status in the community. A good marriage gave you status,
and a partner whose Sun fell on your MC would fit the bill nicely. We like to
think that that kind of thing doesn’t occur anymore, but we all know it does.
Status can play a huge part in our choice of mate. When the MC is stimulated
by another person’s planet we can feel newly awakened, ambitious and alive.
This person’s perception of me is just what I wished my idea of myself could be.
The MC plays a huge part in whether or not we achieve our potential. Synastry
contacts there assure that our partner is our support and/or stimulus to our
dreams. The MC is also emphasized when material security is an issue. This is
particularly true if a woman is not in touch with her own masculine energy
(Sun, Mars, Saturn). If she has problems ‘owning’ these planets, the quick fix is
to marry them, and often there are contacts from the masculine planets to the
MC when this occurs.

Angles in Action

Now, imagine that we’re walking around the earth with our angles sticking out,
hungry for experience and life’s encounters. We meet someone whose Venus
conjuncts our Descendant. This person seems to be perfection personified, the
embodiment of everything we’ve ever valued or desired—everything lovely, in
fact, that isn’t us. Now, if Mars is there instead of Venus, it’s more directly
sexual. The shiver of attraction could be palpable. We may love the way this
person does things—how he or she moves, walks, breathes. We feel the steam,
no matter what sign, no matter what other aspects it may make. The person
feels to us, deep down, as if s/he is our natural mate, and we can’t wait to get
to him or her.

Of course, angles tend to exaggerate whatever touches them, so if our

supposed ‘ideal’ of Venus/Descendant above also has Pluto opposite that
Venus, and falling on our Ascendant, the power struggles inherent in the
person’s Venus-Pluto tussle will profoundly affect my sense of myself, and my
relationships. We will still feel the Venus, but it will be deeper and darker and
slightly threatening, though we will feel no less attracted. We may be put
through the wringer, but later will realize that the relationship taught us a great
deal about our own inner strength, and the values that we attach to
partnership.
I know of one couple where her Descendant ruler, Mars, is conjunct his
Descendant, and his Descendant ruler, Uranus, is conjunct her Ascendant.
These two have one of the most incompatible synastries I’ve ever seen, in
terms of inter-aspects between charts, but the relationship has been running
for some time on the fire of this attraction, backed with a couple of positive
progressions. It’s also a powerful magnet if the Ascendant or Descendant rulers
conjunct in any way. It makes us feel as if the other person plays a major part in
our becoming whole.

Our angles can convey the very essence of what we need for fulfillment, and
can reach out to connect to the essence of another. If you want to be a true
student of synastry, closer analysis of your angles will give you greater insight
into your attractions and teach you valuable lessons about sustaining
relationships.

What do you see when you look at your angles and angle rulers? Let us know in
comments below.

Uranian Lightning: Uranus in Synastry

December 28, 2011 by Dawn Bodrogi 28 Comments

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Credit: courtney k via iStockphoto

Uranus is the one outer planet that no one seems to want to talk much about in
synastry. Of the three “troublemakers,” he’s the weird one. Neptune has his
glamour, Pluto has his intensity, and Uranus has … um … where was he, he was
here just a minute ago…

The Mystery of Uranus in Synastry

Uranus has a strange reputation when it comes to relationships. Given a choice

between the three, most people would choose Neptune or Pluto. We know
where we are with them (or, in Neptune’s case, where we aren’t…) With Uranus
heavily influencing a synastry, there is always something that can’t quite be
pinned down, because the thing you’re trying to pin it down to is old-fashioned,
old-hat, yesterday’s news. It needs something brand new in order to stabilize it.
Uranus makes us reach for what has been heretofore undefined.

Uranus seems to portray the antithesis of what we want in a relationship.

Relationships are supposed to be all about joining, melding. They’re about
togetherness. And Uranus, well, he’s about separateness all the way.

Uranus Influences

When Uranus influences a relationship planet either within or between charts,

there is a need to go beyond the traditional boundaries of that planet.
Moon/Uranus will never settle for ordinary anything, and gets uncomfortable
when life becomes bound by the mundane. Venus-Uranus is attracted to the
unusual, and will have a style of loving where love and freedom/space go hand
in hand. Mars-Uranus is always seeking the new, always pushing the envelope.
Its energy is erratic, and blows fiery hot and icy cold. Saturn-Uranus may
destroy what it’s built just to see a new landscape.

But what is behind all this “breaking through?” Is it for the sake of breaking
alone?

The Uranus-Mercury Connection

Uranus can’t be fully understood without understanding its role as the higher
octave of Mercury. This is difficult for us, sometimes, because Mercury is a
slippery creature in and of himself. We know him in astrology in his role as a
communicator and a message-bearer whose job it is to connect things—
thoughts, people, ideas. In general, he has a Gemini bent. However, Uranus is
associated with Aquarius, with fixed air. He is not so flexible. (See The Dank
Underbelly of the Aquarian Age for a look at the way Uranus operates.)

Mercury was the messenger of the gods. He carried communications between

the immortals and mere mortals. He moved easily between both worlds.
Uranus does much the same, only without the rational give-and-take that
Mercury provides. Uranus is about zapping us to a higher vibrational pattern.
Uranus knows that there is a world beyond the one mere mortals understand,
with different rules, and insists that man plays according to these rules. He can
be ruthless in his pursuit of a higher order.

Uranian knowledge can bring us sudden enlightenment, or it can leave us in a

kind of shock, not knowing what to do with what we’ve learned (and so we
must turn to Saturn again). When Uranus strikes, we can stumble around for
years, burdened with our new knowledge and yet not knowing what direction
to take. Uranus tends to deliver the package but leave out the instructions.

The Uranus Touch

When Uranus touches a personal planet, we are destined/condemned/enjoined

to have experiences that cause us to be removed from the usual workings of
that planet. Moon-Uranus, for better or worse, will not have had conventional
nurturing. Venus-Uranus will not have been valued or validated. Mars-Uranus
will not have been supported in its actions or goals, and was left to go it alone.
Uranus leaves us feeling abandoned to the will of the gods, leaving us much as
King Lear remarks, “Like flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for
their sport.” When Uranian things happen to us, we have no choice. We are in
the middle of it before it really begins.

When Uranus is prominent, freedom is the keyword. However, the need for
Uranian freedom and space has a purpose—how can we hear the distant
thunder heralding the new order, if we’re forever tied up with, and to, others?

Uranus in Relationships

In relationships, Uranus has his own quirky sort of spell. Well, not so much
quirky as insistently, fanatically eccentric. The flip side of Uranian freedom is a
particular kind of electric fascination or magnetism. It knows what it wants and
needs, and it wants it now. It isn’t the Neptune weaving of the wooze, or the
Plutonian hypnosis. It isn’t the come-hither, let me go of Neptune or the
repulsion/compulsion conflict of Pluto. It is, like lightning, sudden, ferocious,
ruthless. It will burn anything in its path, then disappear in an instant, leaving
smoking ruins behind. Uranus has its own, internal rightness (or self-
righteousness). When Uranus is dominant, the shock of letting go, of having to
let go, can be immense, chilling, leaving us insecure for years.

What is little talked about with Uranus, his darkest secret, is his tendency to rip
away, to tear us from what is familiar. Uranian lightning can be deadly, and
strikes hard and fast. Uranian pain is unique in its horror, for the very
suddenness of it all. This is particularly evident in synastry, when one or the
other partner “never saw it coming.” It can be fascination one minute,
abandonment the next.

People with Venus or Mars in Aquarius are particularly good at breaking off
relationships. On the whole, once they’ve decided it’s over, you might as well
not exist. A lot of the old cookbook astrology books will tell you that Uranus in
synastry brings sudden, intense attachments, but they don’t tell you that most
likely you will be unattached before you can blink an eye.

I have an extraordinary number of Sun/Uranus clients (particularly males)

whose fathers suddenly died or abandoned them without warning when they
were children, leaving the particularly Uranian scar of being left adrift and alone
in the world. Wherever Uranus is in the chart, whatever it touches, is often
scarred by a shocking removal. It will leave us with the tendency to feel an
outcast, abandoned by the gods, beyond the norm. This is the beginning of the
Uranian rebelliousness, and the search for the Utopia where we will feel a part
of things once more.

The Positive Spin of Uranus

On the positive side, Uranian attachments are unique. When they work, they
exist beyond the normal confines of society. Same sex couples often have
strong Uranian ties, as do couples who live what could be considered
unconventional lifestyles, or form highly unconventional pairings. There is
usually an air of friendliness and healthy detachment that helps them go the
distance, long after the Neptunians have dissolved in a flood of disillusioned
tears and the Plutonians have killed one another. Rather than focusing on
melding together to dissolve their differences, there is a respect for what makes
the other unique.

When Uranus is strong between charts, there is very often a distinct telepathy
between lovers. They can just “know” what the other is thinking or feeling at
any given time; they can dream one another’s dreams (literally); they can
picture what the other is doing at any moment. This is often most keen with
conjunctions to the Sun, Moon and/or Mercury, but other aspects can manifest
this as well. Neptune can do something similar, but Neptune does it by
dissolving boundaries and using empathy/feeling as a basis for the contact. The
Uranian vibe doesn’t work that way—it’s more concrete, more specific, more
electric. It’s as if the couple has an electronic device implanted where they just
pick one another up.

The purpose of Uranus is very simple—it wants to take us higher. If we’re very
attachment- and security-oriented, a Uranian relationship isn’t going to be an
easy ride for us. Uranus is designed to take us beyond the Moon-Saturn
dynamic into a new order of relating. It will insist on its own way, and its own
dizzying pace. It will insist that we are equal partners with our eyes on the same
goal. It will not guarantee that we will always walk side-by-side. However, we
will know that we are connected to one another, and to the rest of the
universe, by an unseen universal law. And that, in itself, can give us more
security than we could ever hope for on Earth.

What influence does Uranus have on your relationships? Let us know in

comments below.

This post is republished by permission of the author and originally appeared at

The Inner Wheel.

Related Posts:

 Bad Boys: The Uranus-Ruled Relationship

 Uranus in the Seventh House
  Are you better off being single? (Part Two: Uranus)

Bad Boys: The Uranus-Ruled Relationship

May 28, 2008 by Beth Turnage 36 Comments

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Your mother, your sisters and your friends will all

warn you about him. The gunslinger, James Dean,
the Hell’s Angel, the gambler, the gangsta, the
player: You know who I’m talking about! The
pretty boy with a chip on his shoulder and his eye
out for you. The attraction is immediate, he sees
you, pursues you, consumes you with his all-
encompassing passion. Then just as breathlessly
as he took up with you he is gone, leaving you
with a shattered heart and a trail of tears. “What
happened?” you wonder, as you try to piece
together the events of your relationship, like a
victim of a car wreck.

What happened was Uranus.

Uranus brings events and people into our lives suddenly and unexpectedly, and
with a purpose. But that purpose is rarely “happily ever after.” Uranus is called
The Great Awakener and this planet’s purpose is to wake you up to something
you’ve probably been ignoring. Like your own individuality.

What do bad boys have to do with this?

Forgot all the nonsense about how women are attracted to bad boys because
they are sexy. Well, they are, but other kinds of men are sexy too, so that’s not
it. It’s because these men dare to do what so many women are still afraid to do
— live outside the box and do as they please.
What an aphrodisiac! With these men, you can explore a side of your sexuality
and being that traditional society deems bad for you. Through these men, we
live out our fantasies of being free of these societal expectations.

Ultimately though, these relationships, are unfulfilling. Why? Let’s look at the
essential nature of the kind of individual that tends to be a “bad boy.”

A bad boy is a man who seems outwardly attractive, but is unwilling to offer …
love in a relationship. He is too immature and preoccupied with himself to
share genuine compassion, concern, or acceptance. A bad boy lacks character
and might exhibit the following behavior: lying, aloofness, irresponsible
dreaming, fear of commitment, sexual promiscuity, addiction to substances or
pornography, selfishness, hunger for power… In addition, a bad boy is not
interested in true love, because real love requires consistent sacrifice. A bad
boy will only sacrifice for someone if it’s convenient for him or if he gets
something in return. He expects the woman to do most of the giving, while he
ignores her needs or takes advantage of her.

A “bad boy” is the expression of Uranian energy in its most negative form, like
an Aquarian on personality steroids. He is a two dimensional character in a
three dimensional world, unable to enter into a world where trust, intimacy
and caring are the cornerstones of a relationship.

Astrologically, there are three entrances into the Uranian-based relationship.

One is through your birth chart, where hard angles from the planet Uranus
impact one of your personal planets — Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars and sometimes
Mercury. When a transiting outer planet touches this sensitive point, it’s off to
Oz you go. The other is when Uranus by its position in the heavens (i.e., by
transit) makes an energetic connection to one of your personal planets. Lastly,
when Uranus travels through your Fifth, Seventh or Eighth House, a Uranian-
based lover may show up at your door.

When a Uranian type individual manifests in your life, this is the Universe’s
signal that you are ignoring some important personal developmental needs.
Perhaps you should follow this road sign instead of buying a ticket to ride the
Uranian Express.
More on Uranus:

 Uranus in the Seventh House

 Uranus and Infidelity
 How we turn people off with our planets
 Does Uranus in the 7th house automatically mean infidelity?
 April 18, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner 9 Comments
 Advertisement: Live Astrology readings – Compatibility horoscopes and
reports available NOW!
 Tina wrote in response to Uranus in the Seventh House:
 I recently saw a birthchart report that said Uranus in the 7th
means unfaithfulness. Does Uranus in the 7th house automatically
mean infidelity/unfaithfulness? Can it just mean needing space or
change in the relationship? Let’s say a person has sun in Capricorn
or a Taurus ascendant or Venus in Taurus? Wouldn’t the “stability”
of those planets tame the restlessness somehow?
 On a not so related note…I personally have Uranus in my 1st and a
moon in Libra. I have had descriptions state that my moon in Libra
can make me unfaithful in relationships yet I have never cheated in
any of my relationships and also have never had an affair with
someone in a relationship.I AM very independant due to Uranus in
my 1st and need space but I prefer to be faithful. As a matter of
fact infidelity seems offensive to me. Sure I get tempted like
everybody else does but I have never acted on those impulses. I
wonder if that may be cause of my … Venus in Taurus “taming”
that effect in some way? And if in that same regard can a person
who has Uranus in their 7th be a bit more restrained due to
startegically placed earth signs in their chart.
 Computerized astrology reports are a mixed bag. They provide lots of
useful interpretations, but without any integration of chart factors, or any
human touch, for that matter. They’re much less expensive than a
consultation with a professional astrologer, but you get what you pay for.
Although they are most of the time written by professional astrologers,
quality varies, as some astrologers are better than others. In addition,
 some great astrologers are lousy writers. (Full Disclosure: I am an affiliate
and employee of Tarot.com, which sells astrology reports.)
 Any astrological placement has a variety of meanings. It doesn’t come
alive until it is placed within the context of the whole chart. As in Gestalt
philosophy, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. An astrology
report provides many “parts,” but cannot provide a perspective of the
“whole.”
 I hope the report you read noted unfaithfulness as only one of many
possible expressions of Uranus in the Seventh, for that would be plain
irresponsible. Yes, the Uranian imperative to experience independence in
marriage can lead to infidelity, but I wouldn’t call that its highest
expression. (See my related post, The Seventh House curse of Uranus on
the Descendant?)
 As you wisely wrote, the strong presence of the earth element in one’s
chart would temper one’s propensity to go wild and crazy in
relationships. In your chart, Venus in Taurus is the dispositor (or ruler) of
your Moon in Libra, so this yearning for relationship stability informs your
instinctual responses. But anyways, I don’t see how Moon in Libra would
correspond with unfaithfulness. One, you need to be in a relationship to
feel secure; and two, it’s just plain vulgar.
 Uranus in the Seventh House
 April 9, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner 104 Comments
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 What? No zodiac sign today? I hate to break it to you, boys and girls, but
there’s more to astrology than the signs. In fact, planets are where it’s at.
Signs are just butter on your bread, dressing on your salad, scallions on
your sweet potato.
 Uranus is the planet of revolution, sudden change, and independence.
We all have this disruptive influence in our charts, and because this outer
planet spends about seven years in a zodiac sign as it travels around the
Earth (!), its sign placement is not so important. Rather, its house
placement shows where you need to shake up the status quo in your life.
 We all have twelve houses in our chart, the houses being a way to divide
time and space. They relate to areas of our lives, and the Seventh House
concerns marriage and other significant partnerships. The Seventh House
 is the “dusk” part of our chart. If the Sun were in your Seventh House,
that means that our star was soon to set at the time of your birth.
 There’s about a 1-in-12 chance that anyone you meet has Uranus in their
Seventh House. Woe be unto the poor soul who falls in love with such a
person! The U7 (let’s call them), somewhat like someone with Venus in
Aquarius, needs independence in his marriage or significant partnership.
He won’t be tied down in any type of traditional relationship. U7 may be
attracted to eccentric, brilliant or off-beat types as partners. Or he needs
an unconventional arrangement — maybe an open marriage, or at least
freedom from the constraints of being at his spouse’s side at all times. He
may also feel that significant others are forcing change upon him, or that
his spouse undergoes personal revolutions on a regular basis.
 Uranus in the Seventh is a more powerful placement than Venus in
Aquarius. U7 must continually break down the rigid structures of
partnership. He will be compelled to shake things up when they become
stagnant. Hence, U7 is not the ideal man if you want anything resembling
a stable partnership. This does not mean that you can’t maintain
longevity — but to make it work, you have to be flexible enough to
withstand periodic upheavals in your love life. I guarantee it won’t be
boring, but if you can’t tolerate the relationship equivalent of the
Storming of the Bastille, turn away now.
 Comment below: Do you have Uranus in the Seventh? How do you
experience it?
 How we turn people off with our planets
 May 25, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner 15 Comments
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reports available NOW!
 Most relationship don’t work out, and as much as we’d like to blame the
other person, we can only change ourselves. The planets in our charts
symbolize the variety of urges we have as human beings: to nurture,
create, assert, defend, escape, and so on. Although the expression of any
planet can be beneficial, our planets can also be alienating to other
people.
 Only the challenges of Jupiter through Pluto are listed below, because it
is often the hard angles they make to the personal planets (Sun, Moon,
Mercury, Venus, Mars) that bring out their dark sides.
 Jupiter
 As the big planet, Jupiter has a tendency to exaggerate. With challenging
aspects, Jupiter can lead to arrogance, evangelism, going beyond what is
necessary, overlooking the details, neglecting the fine print in favor of the
big picture. Nobody wants to be lectured or proselytized to. And coming
off as too big for one’s britches is a turn-off.
 Saturn
 Fear, a sense of inferiority … we all have our deficiencies, and that’s OK.
What counts is how we work with them. All too often, Saturn encourages
us to build walls of defensiveness to cover over our feelings of not being
enough. We become rigid, inflexible. Or we overcompensate to fix our
flaws, only to become a workaholic. Discipline is a virtue, but when you
deny your vulnerability, it’s hard for people to feel close to you.
 Uranus
 The world need revolutionaries. Otherwise, life would be stagnant and
most people would be living under the dominion of monarchs. But
sometimes you rebel just so you can differentiate yourself, taking up a
cause and provoking people so much that you end up alienating them. It
doesn’t matter if you’re pro-life or an animal rights activitst, there’s a way
to fight the power without frightening off your friends.
 Neptune
 Great art and music is often pulled out of thin air, inspired by the muses
and the gods. However, Neptune’s propensity for escapism can lead you
to lose yourself in drink or virtual worlds, neglecting your daily
responsibilities. You may not be hitting rock-bottom with your addiction
to crack or massively multiplayer online games, but your unavailability
makes intimacy an uphill battle.
 Pluto
 The lord of the underworld can be an agent of transformation, bringing
psychological and physical toxins to the surface to enable healing and
regeneration. However, Pluto can also be violating and controlling,
digging into other people’s dirt and manipulating others for his own gain.
Although insight into the human psyche and the ability to root out
secrets can be used for good, these same talents used inappropriately
can betray trust and make people feel like they’ve been metaphorically
raped.
  Comment below: What challenging aspects in your own chart sabotage
your relationship success?

Are you better off being single? (Part Two: Uranus)

July 18, 2008 by Jeffrey Kishner 20 Comments

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This post is Part Two of the “Are you better off being single?” series. Please read
Part One: Neptune for an introduction.

Two universal human needs must constantly be negotiated: to be an individual,

yet to feel like part of something bigger. If you become too independent, you
risk losing your sense of affiliation. Yet if you conform too much to the group,
your identity becomes squashed. There is a middle ground, but to achieve
equilibrium you must frequently readjust your priorities.

The Uranian individual has a strong need to forge their own path, and
sometimes there is just no room to accommodate another person during the
journey. There is a stubborn quality to Uranus — as well as Aquarius, the fixed
sign which this planet rules — such that a person following the Promethean call
does not want to “bend” for the sake of a partner. When you are obsessed with
a singular vision and are committed to pursuing it at all costs, intimacy often
falls by the wayside. Or if you are in a relationship, you may be so detached —
with your mind focused on your passion project — that your partner would
have to be so self-sufficient that your absence is tolerated or even appreciated.

How to tell if you are from Uranus

You may feel so easily stifled or smothered that only an equally independent
person would be an appropriate partner. You don’t want to be controlled, or to
have emotional demands made upon you. In fact, you may feel more satisfied
having a large network of friends than being consumed by a romantic
relationship. You want to have stimulating dialogues and enjoy alternative
community events (Burning Man, anyone?) without having to say, “I love you”
or get into icky conversations like, “where is this thing going?”
You may chafe at traditional models of relationship like, say, monogamy. As a
freedom-loving soul, you prefer to sleep with whomever strikes your fancy,
without having to be beholden to another individual. Scorpionic states like
jealousy and possessiveness are rarely in your lexicon.

Of course, none of these personality characteristics preclude you from having a

successful, satisfying relationship. But they can make it more difficult. You might
thrive in an alternative arrangement:

 Maintaining a separate home from your partner

 Having an open relationship
 Having many friends to whom you can retreat when you feel constrained
doing the “one-on-one” thing
 Challenging antiquated notions such as “ownership” of another person,
which is implied in the marriage contract

Some possible chart patterns to look out for:

 Uranus in hard aspect to, or conjunct, the Sun, Moon, Venus or ruler of
the Seventh House
 Uranus in the Seventh House or Aquarius on this house’s cusp
 Some of these key planets in Aquarius
 Although I don’t see the Eleventh House as closely associated with
Uranus and Aquarius in the way that I combine Neptune/Pisces/Twelfth,
a stellium of planets in the Eleventh can indicate an individual who values
friendships and participation in groups more than romantic partnership.

Related posts:

 The Seventh House curse of Uranus on the Descendant?

 Does Uranus in the Seventh House automatically mean infidelity?
 Why do some Aquarius women cheat?
 The Seventh House curse of Uranus on the Descendant?
 April 16, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner 3 Comments
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reports available NOW!
 Virgo chick asked in the comments section of Uranus in the Seventh
House:
 I have Uranus at 6 degrees Virgo conjunct my Descendant in Virgo.
I have never been able to sustain a long term relationship. The
longest was 9 months. However, this is not because I chose to end
the relationships. In fact having a long term happy relationship is
what I yearn for and I feel continually frustrated and sad that I
can’t develop anything significant that lasts. I also have the sun
conjunct venus and pluto in Virgo and they sit between 13 and 15
degrees Virgo. Also chiron opposes from 14 degrees Pisces. Any
comments or tips for me to break free of my 7th house curse!
 Uranus and Pluto are transpersonal forces, by definition beyond human
control. When these archetypes play out in your encounter with the
Other, you can either channel the “will” of these outer planets in your
intimate relationships, or just let them do with you what they will. With
consciousness, you may be at the wheel, but you’re driving in severe
conditions. Without awareness, you’re on a flat cart with wheels, but you
have no way to steer — and the weather is just as chaotic.
 Uranus turns tradition on its face. In the domain of partnership, rigid
personal and cultural mores need to be dismantled. I do not doubt that
you yearn for a long term relationship, especially with a Seventh House
Sun. However, your definition of “relationship” may be contributing to
your frustrations. You may need to intentionally develop a partnership
that sits outside of conventions. You desire more freedom and
independence than a typical marriage allows.
 However, your situation is modified by your Sun-Venus-Pluto conjunction.
You also yearn for a profoundly intimate connection, one that allows you
to explore the depths of what it means to share yourself with another
human. The power and control issues, as well as the feelings of
possessiveness and jealousy, that arise in a Venus-Pluto conjunction
make it difficult to simultaneously function in a relationship that thrives
on independence. For example, an open relationship may be attractive to
Uranus, but will raise the ire of Venus-Pluto.
 Your strong Virgo emphasis may also contribute to the difficulty of
maintaining a long-term relationship. Are you intensely critical of your
partners? Do you have very particular ideas of what you need in a
 relationship, as well as daily rituals that may feel disrupted by the
constant presence of another adult?
 Perhaps you’d do well with a brilliant but obsessive iconoclast who’s not
afraid of deep intimacy, someone whose presence instigates the death of
your old schema of relationships. Fortunately, transiting Uranus is
conjoining your natal Chiron and opposing your Sun-Venus-Pluto
conjunction all of 2007. This transit will awaken the wounds related to
your identity and appearance, as well as the part of you that requires a
rebirth of your values concerning partnership. Unexpected changes and
out-of-the-blue appearances are par for the course, so allow yourself to
be open to change.

How Do You Handle Being Cheated On?

December 2, 2015 by Nadia Gilchrist 8 Comments

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Credit: KatarzynaBialasiewicz via iStockphoto

When you’re romantically involved, you trust your partner with your body and
emotions. If your partner cheats on you, there’s a betrayal. It hurts, and that’s a
universal fact. What’s not universal is how everyone reacts to being cheated on.
Different natal configurations indicate different responses to pain. Everyone
hurts, but they don’t process it in the same way. The following descriptions
apply to the natal Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, ruler of the 7th House, or
planets in the 5th/7th Houses.

Attack and Amputate

Natal planets in aspect to Pluto, or Pluto in the 7th House, suggest that your
response is based on survival. You give so deeply that a betrayal feels like death.
Your reaction (especially if Mars is involved) may involve retaliation. This can
range from stalking, to damaging something your ex values. The other reaction
(which can occur in place of, or after, vengeance) is amputation. There is no
more contact with your ex, and no forgiveness. You’re not fighting against the
urge to go back, you simply do not engage with them ever again. This is the
other aspect of survival — resurrection after death. There needs to be a
metaphorical death before you can be reborn, hence the absolute ending. This
process is not quick. You experience every nuance of the pain and anger by
going all the way down until a limit is reached. Your intimacy was extreme, and
your process of feeling everything and letting go is extreme. When this process
is distorted, you can become stuck in the experience, unable to let go as you
dwell on how much your ex hurt you, and how much you’d like to hurt them.

Lightspeed Detachment

Planets in aspect to Uranus, or Uranus in the 7th House, also generate survival-
based reactions. In contrast to the Pluto process, your cauterization is quick and
relatively bloodless. Detachment is the key phrase, and the key to protecting
yourself. There’s no desire for vengeance, just a need to move forward as
quickly as possible. This can happen so suddenly (often accompanied by a sense
of numbness) that you may not have time to process the pain. If you come into
contact with your ex again you may be chill, or even friendly. You’ve moved on,
so why waste energy on ugly feelings?
Related:

 The Crab in the Iron Shell: Hard Aspects Between the Natal Moon and
Saturn
 The Fine Line Between Pleasure and Pain: Venus Opposite Pluto
 The Detached Lover: Aspects Between the Moon and Uranus in the Natal
Chart
 The Detached Lover: Aspects Between The Moon and Uranus in the
Natal Chart
 June 15, 2010 by Nadia Gilchrist 69 Comments
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reports available NOW!

 The Moon is the heart of the

natal chart. When a person needs security, they turn inward to its
familiar, intimate energy. It represents childhood and mother. Its
element is water. Any feelings (or lack thereof) in love relationships will
be decided by the condition of the natal Moon.
 Uranus in the natal chart is responsible for upheaval. Its energy comes
from a distant place, blasting away the things that need to be changed. It
represents anything new, innovative or shocking. Its element is air. It is
the universal alarm clock.
 Anytime the Moon makes an aspect to Uranus in the natal chart, the
emotional and the detached are combined. A good illustration of this is
the moment of birth: the infant is yanked from its safe, watery
 environment and feels the awakening slap of cold air. What does this
mean for the Moon-Uranus person in a relationship?
 It helps to understand where the Moon-Uranus person is coming from.
The Moon in any hard aspect (conjunction, opposition, square) to Uranus
can indicate a traumatic event in childhood where security was ripped
away. A quick word about aspects: I am focusing on hard aspects
because they indicate trauma more than the harmonious trines and
sextiles. Although all Moon-Uranus aspects will have a similar theme,
the way the energies interact will vary according to the aspect. In a
square, the two planets are butting heads. The opposition has the two
planets at opposite ends of a table shouting at each other. The
conjunction is the two in an uneasy dance where both partners try to
lead.

Synastry Studies: Navigating Neptune

December 14, 2010 by Dawn Bodrogi 11 Comments

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Credit: jmsmytaste via Flickr

We have to admit that we’re all a little in love with the outer planets. We love
to read about them, like young girls reading teen magazines and emailing one
another about the latest heartthrob. They’re the glamour boys of the group.
They’re the movie stars, bigger than life and just as inaccessible. Flamboyant,
careless, powerful, they push us around and we don’t mind very much—until
something truly awful happens.

Of all the glamour boys, Neptune has got to be the most deadly. We’re a little
frightened of Pluto, who behaves a bit like some gangster, the Humphrey Bogart
or Cagney of the group. We might be in love with him, but he might shoot us
dead, too, if we get out of line, so we know we’d better be careful around him.
Uranus is the wacky genius, the unbalanced freak, the steely alien, the misfit
who fascinates us. He’s electric and exciting, but he might abandon us
tomorrow, so we take what comes and hope for the best (If you think this isn’t
attractive, think again. Think Doctor Who and any role Johnny Depp has ever
played.) Now Neptune…

The danger of Neptune is that we never see him coming, and once he weaves
his spell, we can’t find our way out. In the beginning, we don’t mind—and then
it’s too late. Pluto and Uranus both can cut us abruptly; we leave wounded,
squashed, maybe, burnt up and out, but with our brains intact. Neptune
doesn’t stop until we reach absolute bottom, and it often takes us a while
before we know we’re there. Neptune never demands, never asks for
surrender; he seduces us into surrendering of our own volition. Low whispers of
promise, of bliss, of perfection. Neptune tells us that all our troubles will be
gone, and will never return, as long as he’s around. Neptune is the answer to
the question that you didn’t know you were asking, but now that it’s answered,
everything feels strangely complete. Neptune weaves himself around us until
we don’t know where we end and Neptune begins. And then he seduces the
ultimate surrender from us, beyond heart and mind. He seduces our soul.
Under Neptune’s spell we become one with the all, all experiencing, all
knowing, all feeling. We drown, and we release the burden of ourselves, our
egos, our consciousness. This is otherwise known as death.
Neptune-Strong Charts

Those of us who live with a heavy Neptune influence can have Neptunian
periods where we veer between ecstasy and despair. This see-sawing can be
about things spiritual, relationship-oriented, creative, or psychological. We can
experience utter bliss and oneness one week, and the next fall into the
Neptunian trap of ‘nothing matters.’ This isn’t a variation on manic-depression,
but to do with the fact that our perceptions wax and wane with the Neptunian
influence. Ironically, it’s often when we’re most in touch with Neptune that we
feel most clear. We often live in the grey area between the manifest and the
unmanifest worlds, because Neptune alters our perceptions of the way the
world is put together. Neptune allows us to see and feel things non-Neptunians
do not. (Neptune is always somewhere in the chart. Wherever it falls, we have a
higher sensitivity, we see beyond the walls.) When we follow our instincts in
unlikely directions, it’s often because we have more underlying information.
However, if our decisions are not soul-based (for the good of all) but ego-based
(for the good of me only), these excursions are doomed to failure. Neptune has
no time for the greedy ego, and when Neptune is in high gear, a me-based life
with no service involved will ultimately lead to the worst punishment of
Neptune, the loss of Self.

One of the most deadly things about Neptune is the way he can convince us of
the illusion of perfection. Wherever he falls, wherever he rules, we have to
learn to live with a degree of longing.

Neptunians never feel complete. It’s been called ‘divine discontent.’ (I forgot
who coined the phrase, but surely it was one of the romantic poets. If not, they
should have.) Divine discontent is a ‘happy face’ phrase slapped on Neptunian
longing, the creative force behind an eternal restlessness, a hunger for divinity,
impossible to assuage by the very fact of incarnation in this world. Incarnation
is all about boundaries, and Neptune doesn’t like to be trapped inside. Divine
discontent has been responsible for all the creative product in the world. It is
one of Neptune’s main functions as the higher octave of Venus. It connects our
smaller selves with the greater, and inspires us to make something of our
visions.
But this same longing for (unattainable) completion is what pulls Neptunians
towards addictions, which can include being addicted to a relationship.
Addictions dissolve the boundaries of the ego; we fall into false completion,
false bliss. As the ego sheds its worldly responsibilities, we want nothing but
bliss. The jettisoning of the separate Self, and all the real-life and spiritual
responsibilities associated with it, can be as intoxicating as a drug.

Neptune in Synastry

In synastry, this false bliss can take the form of another human being. We
need this person. We have no life without this person. This person is everything
I’ve ever craved, and will ever crave. Fortunately, experienced Neptunians learn
to recognize the danger signs (dependency, loss of self, excuse-making,
obsessive fascination) and after a while, know what to look out for. Those who
don’t struggle with Neptune on a daily basis can be his worst victims. They get
taken by surprise.

I have to admit that in all my years of doing synastries, I’ve seen Neptune cause
the most outright suffering. Now, this could be because of resonance. I believe
we attract clients whose issues match our knowledge and experience. So I
attract more Neptune-oriented folks than most. Neptune has a dangerous
proclivity to urge us to lose ourselves in a well of grief for the unattainable,
making life itself seem futile. I don’t know what’s worse, having the dream and
then losing it, or having the dream of a dream.

Neptune in synastry allows us to fool ourselves. Is he really the embodiment of

perfection? Is she someone I can’t live without? No. That’s just a story Neptune
is telling us, but the story is so effective, so real, so orchestrated to our own
particular psychic kinks, that we believe in it totally. Neptune is the best
director of all time, making a movie just for us.

One thing to keep in mind when dealing with Neptune in synastry is the fact
that, when we are betrayed by others, we have really been betraying ourselves.
What within us has been kept blind by Neptune’s spell, allowing us to be
deceived? We are not victims. Neptune’s famous illusion has a purpose—it is
orchestrated precisely to reveal our blind spots to us. Often, these blind spots
are covering things we would rather not see: abuse, neglect, abandonment. The
reenactment of these patterns when Neptune is part of the synastry picture
forces us to revisit the terror, because our blind spots are preventing our proper
connection with the world around us.

The trick to living with Neptune, either natally or in synastry, is to keep

yourself anchored. You can’t let the waves carry you out to sea. You have to
know when to pull back, when to keep separated. You have to have something
heavy and real and of the earth (some Saturn, perhaps) to sink into Neptune’s
belly and keep him and you in place. You need the sky above you to keep you
rational so you know where you are. And you need some instinctual fire to read
the signs and tell you when a storm is brewing up and you need to get the hell
out of there before you drown. When worse comes to worst, the answer is
almost always in Virgo. Just do something useful. Something real.

Neptune and the Inner Planet Person

Common knowledge says that in synastry, the person who has the Neptune will
put the spell on the person who has the inner planet. Frankly, I haven’t seen
this. I have to say that I’ve seen more of it the other way around, that it’s the
Neptune person who gets enchanted by the inner planet person. Certainly at
first. The complications of the inner planet person come later in the
relationship, when they can’t get a handle on where the Neptune person is
coming from. I have to say that this is true especially in the case of oppositions.
In these cases in particular, the Neptune energy gets projected onto the planet,
and its fueled by the fact that the planet is on Neptune’s polarity point. That
planet embodies something that Neptune needs to learn, to become. The
person embodies that lesson, along with the illusion of completion. The
fascination is inevitable. This occurs even with lesser hard aspects, but the
opposition is the potent one, followed by the square.

Early on, when we’re young, life with Neptune can be torture. Over and over
again, we hunger for what is inaccessible, and it’s unbearable. We fall in love
with gay people, married people, famous people, and we fall hard. We yearn for
lives that we will never have. We pray to focus our energies, on something,
anything, that will give us fulfillment, and it never comes (at least, not in the
way that we expect). Later on, after we’ve had a bit of reality thrown at us … no,
wait … later on life with Neptune is a struggle, too. But it becomes easier when
we learn that we can have some of the things that Neptune promises us (even
some bliss). Eventually, we learn that the secret of surviving Neptune is in
keeping the heart wide open, as frightening as that might be after a Neptune
episode. We are tempted to shut Neptune out of our lives, and that is the most
dangerous thing of all. When we do, we live lives without magic, without the
thrill of seeing our hopes, wishes and dreams (yes, with hard work) become
reality. Without Neptune, we feel cut off from the possibilities the universe
affords us. Still, we have to keep a very steely eye on that hypnotic bastard or
he’ll weave that stupid spell again and the waves of goo will pull back and we’ll
find ourselves stranded out in the middle of the desert of nowhere (again),
forced to feel our way home via an unfamiliar landscape.

No wonder Neptune feels he has to seduce us—he doesn’t believe that any of
us would go to him willingly.

Neptune’s Rewards

Neptune’s rewards are not really physical. Not like the rewards that come with
Saturn work, or the benefit of using your Mars or Mercury to maximum effect.
But working with Neptune does come with benefits.

Ironically, clarity is one of them. When Virgo discrimination is applied to

Neptune, the fog lifts, and we are inspired. We can see things we’ve never seen
before, create things we never thought possible, and yes, even feel states of
consciousness we’ve never felt. We realize that bliss, joy and oneness are
possible in this world. Neptune allows us to see past the illusion of our Earthly
boundaries and realize that the ultimate boundary, the schism between “I” and
the universe itself, is an illusion. Neptune teaches us that whatever affects one
affects the All.

In synastry, Neptune can give us great compassion. It can even give us empathy,
if we push our own egos out of the way. Neptune can allow us to cherish our
partners and forgive them their flaws, because we are all too aware of our own.
Neptune allows us to know our partners intimately, and to allow our partners to
know us. Neptunian trust is the bravest and highest form of trust, because we
don’t allow ourselves an out. We give ourselves over entirely and willingly,
because we know that, no matter what happens, we will survive. Neptune
allows us to see divinity in the beauty of another, in a gesture, in a whisper. It
allows us to live hand in hand with a higher power, and surrender with grace, in
full knowledge of what we are doing.

Neptune and Beauty

The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen on this Earth, and I say ‘thing’
deliberately, because I’m including sunsets and mountains and leopards and
paintings and anything else of this world, was another human being. Not
anyone I know. He was standing near me on a London street. The light caught
him in a gentle halo, and I actually let out a quiet gasp, stunned that anything
so beautiful could be formed from the random chaos of the world. I walked
away, a bit shaken, but convinced that something in me had been opened,
altered. End of story. (I’m a double Virgo, you didn’t think there was going to be
a Neptunian finish here, did you?)

I’ve been around for a while now, have done a lot of things, seen a lot of things,
and am not easily impressed. I was humbled by my reaction, by my
susceptibility; there is something about beauty that makes pilgrims of us all.
Neptune allows us to be awed, and that’s the crack that lets the light in. It
brings us to our knees. What was altered in me that day? I still don’t know.
That’s Neptune for you. Something to do with having faith in the creative
powers of the universe. Something to do with abundance. Something to do
with the pure joy of living.

But that’s my Neptune journey, my personal navigation through the manifest

and unmanifest worlds, towards a realignment with the magical unknown.
Yours will be different.

This post has been republished by permission of the author and appeared in its
original form at The Inner Wheel.

Related posts:

 Neptune games — Will the real person please stand up?

 Are you better off being single? (Part One: Neptune)
  Codependency, Neptune and The Tangle of Human Relationships
 Neptune in the Seventh House: The Cinderella Complex

Neptune games — Will the real person please stand up?

November 27, 2007 by Diane Lang 5 Comments

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We get a lot of mixed messages about how to attract and keep a lover or
partner. On one hand, we are bombarded with information on how to look
desirable, what clothes to wear, which hair products and makeup to use. On the
other hand, we are told the importance of being ourselves. Neptune, the
planet of illusion, helps us put our best “face” forward, instead of helping us
learn about who we really are.

Neptune is often prominently featured in the charts of celebrities who make

their living being someone else. This planet helps present an image of glamour
and beauty. Marilyn Monroe is a classic example, with Neptune in Leo in her
First House — the before-and-after photos of her transformation from pretty
girl to Hollywood glamour queen show just how effective Neptune’s illusions
can be. And we all know how tragically her life turned out.

We now have a whole new venue to practice the art of deception when
attempting to meet potential lovers these days — the Internet. It’s amazing
what even the smallest amount of tweaking with Photoshop can do to make us
look much better in a photograph than we are in cold, hard reality. If we have a
strong Neptune aspect to our Sun, Moon or Ascendant — especially by square
or opposition — we will be very tempted to “improve” on nature. Those who
have Neptune conjunct the Ascendant are particularly good at projecting a
facade. The question is … do we want to?

My advice from personal experience … Don’t do it! When Neptune transited my

Ascendant and went over Venus in the First House, there were so many
projections and false expectations going on that I didn’t have a clue! After
Neptune moved on, it felt like sobering up after a night of heavy partying. And I
had to go back and start all over figuring out who I was, how I was presenting
myself, what I wanted, and so on.

A good look at your natal chart by an unbiased astrologer — not yourself —

can be very helpful in determining what part Neptune is playing, if any. The
bottom line is that we can only maintain an illusion so long before the facade
comes crumbling down, and the real person stands there exposed. That’s when
we learn Saturn can be our best friend … because his lessons are always
grounded in reality.

About the Author

Neith AKA Diane Lang writes a blog on Synastry at Neith on Synastry, where she
writes posts answering relationship questions from readers and does the
occasional post on how the outer planets in particular affect our ability to
relate. She also has another blog, Neith.net, which covers a broad range of
topics relating to Astrology and her life. If you enjoy her style and are interested
in having her take a look at your chart, she does written reports for a
reasonable fee too.

Read more guest posts by Neith:

 Natal Pluto Aspects — A Cautionary Tale

More on Neptune:

 Pluto vs. Neptune: How do you process your emotions?

 Embrace Your Longing

Natal Pluto Aspects — A Cautionary Tale

November 5, 2007 by Diane Lang 12 Comments

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We are all familiar with the reaction when someone says they have the Sun in
Scorpio, but there are other less obvious ways the same energy crops up in
natal charts. Those of us who have a strong Pluto influence (for example, a
loaded Eighth House, Pluto in aspect to personal planets or Scorpio Rising) can
also act a lot like those Scorpio Sun types. I will use an example from my own
life to illustrate this . . .

I am a Libra Sun, Libra Moon person with Venus in Sagittarius in the First House.
This translates as a pleasant, friendly sort with a charming manner. When I was
young, it meant long blond hair, a casual sporty style and a breezy, easy going
way about me – Sagittarius bait in essence! The catch is that I have Mars and
Mercury in Scorpio conjunct my Scorpio Ascendant, with Pluto squaring my
Mars. Throw in a Pluto sextile Moon aspect, and you have a Plutonian type. This
meant the exterior was far different from what was going on inside. Now I could
also project the Scorpio Rising pretty effectively too, notably when I was angry
about something.

Sagittarians love the chase far more than the capture, and if you want to keep
their interest, you just need to stay ever so slightly out of reach. There was one
Sagittarius guy that was drawn to the Venus in Sagittarius style, and flirted with
me like crazy when I was out partying with a girl friend. I found him equally
attractive, so I came back another time and started chatting him up. The minute
he got wind of the Scorpio intensity, he ran so fast all I saw were hoof prints in
the dirt and the bushes waving from the breeze created by his departure.

The moral of this tale is this: If you have lots of Pluto aspects, a loaded Eighth
House or Scorpio Rising, even if you are a sweetheart of a Libra, lighthearted
Gemini, fun-loving Leo or some other harmless looking sort, you are not nearly
the lightweight you appear. So don’t be surprised that when you unveil your
natural intensity, you get a different reaction than anticipated. Oh, one other
thing … if you are a Plutonian, it is a good idea to start working on accepting
that side of yourself without prejudice and acknowledging you are one of the
power-brokers of the Zodiac. There are plenty of rewards . . . = smirk=

About the Author

Neith AKA Diane Lang writes a blog on Synastry at Neith on Synastry, where she
writes posts answering relationship questions from readers and does the
occasional post on how the outer planets in particular affect our ability to
relate. She also has another blog, Neith.net, which covers a broad range of
topics relating to Astrology and her life. If you enjoy her style and are interested
in having her take a look at your chart, she does written reports for a
reasonable fee too.

Related posts:

 Pluto problems in relationships

 Integration and dangers in the process of healing Pluto problems
 Pluto vs. Neptune: How do you process your emotions?
 Pluto vs. Neptune: How do you process your emotions?
 June 7, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner 26 Comments
 Advertisement: Live Astrology readings – Compatibility horoscopes and
reports available NOW!
 Since Eme Kah’s recent comment on Integration and dangers in the
process of healing Pluto problems, I have been thinking about how we
deal with our emotions. From a psychological perspective, we learn to be
with our feelings from our interactions with our mothers (or primary
parent.) The mother-child bond is governed by Cancer and this sign’s
ruling ‘planet,’ the Moon. Your mother — through her mirroring of your
emotional state — teaches you how to identify your feelings. No doubt,
most of us are reared with less-than-ideal mirroring — our parents don’t
reflect back to us our inner worlds, and we grow up not being able to
identify or tolerate our feelings.
 Of the three water signs — Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces — the latter two
are ruled by modern planets: Pluto rules Scorpio, and Neptune rules
Pisces. Scorpionic people process their feelings in a completely different
way from Piscean people. (By Scorpionic, I mean having planets in
Scorpio or strong Pluto contacts. By Piscean, having planets in Pisces or
strong Neptune contacts.)
 Pluto goes deep, and Pisces transcends or escapes. Scorpios are so
intense because they dig into their emotions, turning over every rock,
exploring every crevice to expose any unacknowledged feeling, image or
memory. Due to the nature of being a fixed sign, Scorpio does not give
up, and has the stamina to excavate its skeletons until there’s nothing left
to unearth.
 Pisces, on the other hand, is best at experiencing emotions through art.
Pisces is not an investigator or psychoanalyst like Scorpio. Rather, the last
sign of the zodiac is a dancer, a musician, a poet. This sign’s gift is
 expressing the ineffable through the creative act. Music, for example, is
so powerful at conveying emotions that when we hear a song that
resonates with our inner experience, it “hooks into” our minds and
bodies — we play it again to help us access and identify our feeling state.
The musican “matches” what we often feel we cannot express through
rational thought.
 The dark side of Neptune/Pisces, however, is escapism. It is not a surprise
that so many musicians are also addicts. The creative act is an immersive
experience that can both be cathartic and exhausting. And frankly,
Piscean types can easily feel overwhelmed by both their emotions and
their environment, such that they turn to drugs and daydreams to dull
the knife of painful affect.
 Scorpionic types thrive on the knife, for this sign’s traditional ruler is
Mars, governor of weapons. The knife separates. The talent of the private
dick or the shrink is their ability to differentiate between the clues that
solve the case, and those that lead nowhere. It is the Scorpio who tells
you to to cut the crap.
 There is no separation for the Piscean. Remember The Matrix, when the
bald child being trained by the Oracle says to Neo, “There is no spoon”?
Well, there’s no knife, either. Because Pisces cannot draw a line in the
sand, this sign goes swimming instead.
 The dark side of the Scorpionic person is extremism. They draw a line in
the sand, and get so stuck in either/or that they totally embrace one side
while disavowing the other. And as with any polarity, the neglected side
has to be expressed. Scorpio goes all out in one direction, only to cross
the line and forget where they just were, or they attract someone to
adopt the opposing perspective. There can only be a power struggle
when there’s something to fight over.
 Comment below: How do you process your feelings, and how does this
approach impact your relationships?
 Pluto problems in relationships
 May 29, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner 19 Comments
 Advertisement: Live Astrology readings – Compatibility horoscopes and
reports available NOW!
 In the comments section of How we turn people off with our planets,
Julie wrote this insightful response about living with challenging Pluto
aspects:
 For me, the control issue has been a major thing, along with the
lack of trust (and I suppose they’re probably related). The
interesting thing to me has been that, as far as healing these issues
is concerned, it’s been recognizing my real lack of control that has
freed me. Giving up the idea that I can control everything has
made life simpler and happier. And I’m more trusting, too, because
I’ve learned that I can survive being hurt.
 People with challenging Pluto aspects often have been wounded.
Dominated, violated, controlled, manipulated, broken down. It’s all a
matter of degrees how bad it was, and sometimes it’s easier to deal with
the more overt types of abuse because at least you can identify exactly
what happened. The covert type of abuse that you can’t quite place —
that can’t be proven — is often more difficult to heal.
 Regardless, in order to survive, we build up defenses. To avoid feeling
completely powerless, we develop routines, habits, m.o.‘s. Control is an
illusion, but how terrifying life can be — especially as a child or young
adult — to feel that you cannot protect yourself, that you are vulnerable!
The world can be a dangerous place, and a “kill or be killed” approach
sometimes feels like the only way to survive.
 But control does not work in relationships. You can only get so close, and
then terror kicks in. A constant suspicion of people’s motives prevents
your heart from flowering. You play various “games” to be one up. And all
you accomplish are power struggles and strife.
 Learning that you can survive being hurt — this is key. I believe that there
is something deep inside of you that cannot be harmed, and that you
have a natural tendency to heal. A psychotherapeutic relationship, for
example, can facilitate this. A “corrective emotional experience” occurs
when your habitual patterns rear their ugly head in an intimate
relationship, and the therapist responds differently than how you expect.
You cannot lure the therapist into your game, and you learn that
relationships do not always have to repeat the same destructive pattern,
over and over again. You also get in touch with your inner strength, dis-
identifying with your woundedness.
  It is your vulnerability that makes you beautiful. It is your open-
heartedness that attracts love. Only by risking authenticity can you take
the air out of someone else’s tires, preventing them from driving their
PlutoMobile over your soul.

Integration and dangers in the process of healing Pluto problems

June 4, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner 8 Comments

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Whether you address the healing of Pluto problems [Donna Cunningham has a
book by this name] via long-term psychotherapy or intensive retreat, the
integration of material that arises from the unconscious is paramount to
healing. If there is any danger to retreats or workshops, it is that (through the
use of powerful tools of consciousness-expansion) too much material comes to
the surface, and the participant feels overwhelmed. Then she goes home and
does not know how to make meaning of her memories, images, bodily
experiences, and so on. She also does not know how to go on with her daily life
without being inundated with feelings that she cannot handle. However, if she
has already done a lot of inner work and has a fair amount of ego strength and
coping skills, she can benefit from intense weekends of transformation.

The benefit of long-term psychotherapy is that the healing of Pluto problems

can happen over a slow pace in a (presumably) safe environment. Psychological
material arises over time, sometimes in big chunks with apparently little going
on for weeks or months in between. I say “apparently,” because much of the
work of psychotherapy is building enough trust in the psychotherapist to feel
safe, thus allowing one to open up the psyche in the container of the
therapeutic space.

Danger Ahead

Unfortunately, among both psychotherapists and workshop leaders there are

bad eggs who can cause more wounding than healing. It is advisable to get
referrals, use your common sense, and talk with friends, so that you can notice
red flags as they arise. Healers in positions of power (Pluto people!) can effect
profound transformation, and they can also be perpetrators of abuse. The dark
side of Pluto is cults, sex with patients, mind control.

I don’t mean to scare off anyone who feels the imperative to heal their Pluto
problems. Without looking at your “stuff” head on, you are likely to keep
repeating self-destructive habits in relationships (with others or yourself). Just
don’t let yourself be prey; there are good people out there, but you have to do
your research to find them.

Integration

A therapist can help you integrate the material that arises from your
unconscious, but if you are not in counseling, some of the following tools can
help you on your journey:

 Journal about whatever feelings, images, memories come up. Just the act
of writing this stuff down on paper helps to get some of it out of your
head.
 Read books on mythology and Jungian psychology. Some of the Plutonic
material you encounter in healing may come from the collective
unconscious. Consciousness explorers have mapped out much of human
experience already, so don’t reinvent the wheel.
 Draw, paint, write music, dance … any form of creative expression can
channel material that cannot be expressed in a linear, logical manner.

Comment below: What negative or positive experiences have you had with
healers? How do you integrate the psychological material that arises from your
unconscious as a result of deep inner work?

Related:

 Pluto problems in relationships (Thanks to Eme Kah’s comment for

inspiring the current post.)
 How we turn people off with our planets
 Pluto problems in relationships
 May 29, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner 19 Comments
 Advertisement: Live Astrology readings – Compatibility horoscopes and
reports available NOW!
 In the comments section of How we turn people off with our planets,
Julie wrote this insightful response about living with challenging Pluto
aspects:
 For me, the control issue has been a major thing, along with the
lack of trust (and I suppose they’re probably related). The
interesting thing to me has been that, as far as healing these issues
is concerned, it’s been recognizing my real lack of control that has
freed me. Giving up the idea that I can control everything has
made life simpler and happier. And I’m more trusting, too, because
I’ve learned that I can survive being hurt.
 People with challenging Pluto aspects often have been wounded.
Dominated, violated, controlled, manipulated, broken down. It’s all a
matter of degrees how bad it was, and sometimes it’s easier to deal with
the more overt types of abuse because at least you can identify exactly
what happened. The covert type of abuse that you can’t quite place —
that can’t be proven — is often more difficult to heal.
 Regardless, in order to survive, we build up defenses. To avoid feeling
completely powerless, we develop routines, habits, m.o.‘s. Control is an
illusion, but how terrifying life can be — especially as a child or young
adult — to feel that you cannot protect yourself, that you are vulnerable!
The world can be a dangerous place, and a “kill or be killed” approach
sometimes feels like the only way to survive.
 But control does not work in relationships. You can only get so close, and
then terror kicks in. A constant suspicion of people’s motives prevents
your heart from flowering. You play various “games” to be one up. And all
you accomplish are power struggles and strife.
 Learning that you can survive being hurt — this is key. I believe that there
is something deep inside of you that cannot be harmed, and that you
have a natural tendency to heal. A psychotherapeutic relationship, for
example, can facilitate this. A “corrective emotional experience” occurs
when your habitual patterns rear their ugly head in an intimate
relationship, and the therapist responds differently than how you expect.
You cannot lure the therapist into your game, and you learn that
relationships do not always have to repeat the same destructive pattern,
 over and over again. You also get in touch with your inner strength, dis-
identifying with your woundedness.
 It is your vulnerability that makes you beautiful. It is your open-
heartedness that attracts love. Only by risking authenticity can you take
the air out of someone else’s tires, preventing them from driving their
PlutoMobile over your soul.

Getting There: The Function of the Sun in Composite Charts

June 27, 2012 by Dawn Bodrogi 40 Comments

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Credit: Photolyric via iStockphoto

We’ve distorted the meaning of the word “essential” in popular language to

mean something that is absolutely necessary. In truth, the meaning is the
opposite—if something is essential or “of the essence” it is something that can
never be taken away or distorted. It has nothing to do with need.

I think of the world “essence” when I deal with the Sun in all forms of astrology.
Renaissance astrologers referred to the Sun as the “heart” of the chart,
without which the chart could have no warmth or light or definition. The Sun is
also a consolidating energy, as anyone who has ever seen it working in transits
and progressions can testify. A transit or progression can sit there, inactive, for
months, and then things blow when the transiting Sun hits the relevant points.
(I give an assignment to my beginning students which asks them to watch for
transits of the Sun and Mars over natal, progressed, and transiting aspects of
their own charts. You learn about astrology very quickly that way.)

What Does the Sun Represent?

Now, I’m the first one to admit that the Sun is not an easy thing to define within
the dynamics of the chart. It’s the essence, the lifeblood, but what does it
represent? The Moon is readily defined, though she has her hidden meanings.
We know about Mars and Venus, Mercury and Jupiter. We have a good idea
about Saturn’s issues and we’ve learned not to mess with the outer planets. But
what do we know of the Sun?

We often think the Sun is related to “I,” to identity. We say, “I am a Virgo” or an

Aries, but aside from defining a birth month, what does that mean?
Furthermore, the “I” is ever-evolving. I’m sure not one of us defines ourselves
the same way we did five years ago.

The Sun’s Function

I like to think that the Sun has a dual function in the chart, and one of them is
to portray the essence of the human being. It represents that eternally creative
life force which is our core Self, in its truest expression. The evolving “I,” the one
that evokes and embraces change, is represented by the progressed Ascendant
as it moves through time. We are both eternal and evolving through the
experience of our material reality.

The Sun’s second function is as creator, and as the consolidating force in life.
The Sun is the engine of the chart, moving it forward, creating, with the Moon,
the experiences we need for our own evolution. The Sun brings things together
in our lives, triggers them off, much the way it works on transits and
progressions. When the Sun touches another planet, we become aware of that
planet and are primed to learn our lessons regarding the function and meaning
of that planet in our lives.
I tend to think that there is nothing malefic about the Sun. Even if it is
connected with the darkest pile-up of planets you can imagine, the Sun’s
presence there would be hopeful, because there is always the possibility of
light and awareness. With a hard aspect, the awareness might be hard to come
by, but the possibility would be there, unlike the flat-out darkness and
destruction that might exist if the Sun were absent. If we have the Sun attached
to an outer planet, that Sun is trying to help us learn about life through Uranian
or Neptunian or Plutonian eyes, and to understand that those forces exist
within us and are meant to be used consciously.

The Sun in Synastry

In synastry, I never worry about hard aspects between the individual Suns. All
that means is that two people have very different ways of processing
experience, and may come to different conclusions about shared experience.
But it carries none of the discomfort and emotional alienation that can happen
when the two Moons are at crossroads, for example. With the Sun, the
stimulation that occurs with hard aspects can be very creative, and cause us to
seek out new ways of interacting and solving problems.

The Sun can be a great mentor, too—if the Sun is attached to any planet, its
life-weaving creative power may cause us to draw people who represent
those planets into our lives, to show us the way. Sun/Jupiter will be lucky with
teachers or spiritual guides; Sun/Pluto may draw from both sides of the legal
divide to learn its lessons; Sun/Neptune may draw the artistic or the helpless,
or even those who spend time on or in the water. In all cases, it’s the Sun
bringing awareness of the planet, not the planet acting on the Sun. The Sun is
the center, and includes the whole of potential. As the essence, it cannot be
manipulated or maneuvered.

A Virgo will always count her change before she gets on the bus. An Aries may
knock you down as you both call for a cab, then give it to you once he’s realized
his mistake. But expecting these instinctive impulses to change is insanity. They
are both processing life, getting there, the only way they know how. The house
will show the area of life experience this force is most readily expressed in, but
the essence will not change.
The Essence of Relating: The Composite Sun

The composite chart is a thing of beauty, when read correctly. The Sun in a
composite chart represents the essence, the creative drive, that is the outcome
of two energies joining forces. By house and sign, it will show the essential
purpose of a relationship and what it is meant to illustrate to the two beings
involved in it. Aspects to the Sun will illustrate the major developmental
challenges two people will experience within this lifetime.

›› Get your customized composite report for insight into how the planets play
out in your relationship.

The Sun in Composite Houses

Composite Sun in the First House: A lucky place for the Sun to be, as it tells us
that this is a couple whose energy will pour easily and naturally into the
relationship itself. It’s a strong signature, and one that is likely to weather the
typical storms of partnership. These people are very much wrapped up in ‘we’
and ‘us’ and are usually happier gaining identity from the partnership. They
usually share a strong feeling that they are meant to be together. They usually
portray a united front to others and are very clear about where they are going
as a team.

Life together is seen as an adventure, and there is a great deal of strength

gained from this. The challenge is to learn to be inclusive as a couple, and to
balance the work and home life with other partnership needs.

Composite Sun in the Second House: With the Sun in the second house, we
value what we have together. We may be together for the express purpose of
sharing our talents with one another and with the world. We may be a natural
team that has something definite to do together. Our great strength is in our
shared values and the way we express them. We may be keen on acquisition
and on broadening and extending our shared resources. If we’re lucky, we have
a sense that the world is ours for the taking, as long as we keep our heads and
watch our pennies. We may also have a passion for nurturing and taking care of
our Earth’s natural resources. We will enjoy making a contribution to our lives
together, and with others—no matter if it is of the body, mind, or spirit.
On the whole, the Sun here is practical, and wants to accomplish something
concrete with the relationship. Challenges can come through conflicts regarding
creative pursuits or organizations, groups, and peers. There is a need to join
personal resources with the resources of others—to share.

Composite Sun in the Third House: Our lives will be about making connections,
whether spiritual, mental or physical. We may be the couple who talks
constantly, who make a point of keeping in touch all day with one another, and
who are constantly darting in and out of the neighbors’ and cousins’ houses. Or
this may be a relationship that works primarily on the intellectual plane, where
the exchange of ideas is the utmost priority. There may be an emphasis on
movement itself, and the acquisition of knowledge. There is usually great
curiosity about the way the world is put together, and there may be an
emphasis on travel and discovery. They may be a force in the local environment
or community.

Challenges come when one or the other partner wants to break through and
experience the greater world “out there,” when the need for information and
contact stretches into a search for meaning. Conflicts can come from the work
environment and/or health issues.

Composite Sun in the Fourth House: The emphasis may be on home and
family, and the laying down of roots, but it may also be that the relationship is
inner-directed and needs a respite from the world at large. There may be a
tendency to want to stay in rather than socialize, and it’s the indicator of a
couple whose individuals find a great deal of comfort with, and in, one another.

Challenges come from the outside world—career issues, other people invading
the “sacred space”—or from the need of each partner to individuate.
Composite Sun in the Fourth House is one of the easier placements for
traditional relationships, not so much for same sex couples or other
relationships outside the mainstream. There may be periods of cyclical
withdrawal.

Composite Sun in the Fifth House: This is the “fun” couple who may be
together just for the sake of having a good time. This is a very dynamic,
expressive couple, and you won’t see them hiding their light under a bushel.
They may pursue creative fields together, or the emphasis may be on
procreation—many couples whose main focus is raising children have the Sun
in composite fifth.

Challenges may come when they can’t get a handle on just what it is they have
to contribute to their world, and they may have difficulties making themselves
understood well enough to fit in with others. Another challenge is in learning
that they can’t do what they want to all the time—there are rules and
boundaries which must be respected in order to fit into society in some way.
There may be challenges that come from sharing their value system with others
who may not agree with them or understand them.

The Composite Sun in the Sixth House: An interesting placement for a

composite Sun. The emphasis here is on balance, on wholeness and healing.
The Sixth House can be a crisis house, and those couples with composite Sun in
the Sixth may be prone to experiencing one challenge after another in their
lives.

The challenge comes from needing to integrate the inner and the outer worlds
of the relationship. They may seem like one thing to others, and another in
private. They may feel like scapegoats, put upon and oppressed by others, or
they may have trouble establishing meaning in the life they’ve created for
themselves. There may be an emptiness until some kind of spiritual focus
enters their lives and provides context for their existence.

On the other hand, couples with this configuration often have an emphasis on
work and service—the challenge then is in finding the right type of vehicle for
their actions. However, they may focus solely on just “getting it right” as a
couple and defining their lives for themselves.

The Composite Sun in the Seventh House: Usually, this placement goes one of
two ways. Either the couple is very out there and passionate about connecting
with others in some way (usually very warm and charming together) and/or
they spend their time trying to figure out who they are by finding out who they
are not (defining themselves against those who surround them). Depending on
the Sun, they may be aggressive in determining their territory.
With the Seventh House emphasis, they may spend a lot of time inadvertently
falling into the shadow side of the partnership—coming up against behavior
which may be undermining the partnership in some way. The Sun’s light will go
a long way towards working out the kinks in the relationship shadow, allowing
them to become progressively closer and stronger over time. They need to find
out who they really are together—outside of family ties and outside of what
society expects their role to be.

The Composite Sun in the Eighth House: Couples with the composite Sun in the
Eighth House will experience profound inner transformation together, either
through intimacy or through experiences which will challenge the very
existence of the partnership. They may be brought back from the brink many
times in many ways—there may be outer influences on the partnership, there
may be challenges to financial stability, there may be profound psychological
changes in store for one or both parties. These are the couples who may lose
themselves in the throes of partnership, and then find out that they are not
who they thought they were.

Challenges also come from trying to maintain an individuality whilst engaging

fully in the deepest intimacy. There is a possibility that they are enticed by what
is occult and considered taboo, all in the interest of tearing down unneeded
boundaries to redefine the landscape. It may become difficult when one or
both parties become uncomfortable with the constant intensity and prefer
something more sanctioned by the group/society, or when individual creativity
and self-expression becomes an issue. Children, also, may be problematic—the
demands of raising children getting in the way of the kind of deep psychological
transformation this position requires.

Composite Sun in the Ninth House: A Ninth House composite Sun is a

relationship that is built on mutual goals, dreams, and visions. The purpose of
the relationship is to explore as far as possible and break old rules about the
way the world should be. They are more interested in what unifies us than what
separates us, and the composite Sun in the fiery Ninth can be endlessly
stimulating and forward-moving. They will break conventions and break rules
without a second thought, and base their lives on a perpetual search for
meaning and higher purpose.
The drawback to composite Sun in the Ninth may be the search for searching’s
sake, with a lack of willingness to commit to the partnership in the fear of tying
it down and holding back its potential. The couples who live together for years
and still have a terror of marriage are often Ninth House types, who feel much
more comfortable with a window open in the room. Challenges come because
life may not always be as stimulating as these relationships require, and the
hard work that comes with grounding ideals in the real world may be tedious
enough to weaken the partnership.

Composite Sun in the Tenth House: The composite Sun in the Tenth House is
another one of those “easy” placements for composite Sun, because the Sun is
very happy up there and prominent in its noon position. If the Sun is right on
the M.C., these couples may be prominent in their society or in their field. The
Tenth House represents our status in the world, and with composite Sun there
we are very happy being seen as a couple, and willing to take our place as
leaders in the community. Usually, there are few external challenges, unless
family loyalty conflicts with the natural flow of the partnership. Others see us as
a couple very easily, and are often shocked if there are any difficulties brewing
under the surface.

Usually the challenges come from a lack of real emotional honesty and intimacy
—in the pursuit of an externally oriented life, we may lose what emotional
grounding we once had. We also may lose sight of who we really are, believing
in our own public mask. Some couples may find that there is too much
emphasis on work and status, and not enough on the emotional glue and
intimate experience that holds the relationship together.

Composite Sun in the Eleventh House: The composite Sun in the eleventh
house can be a very friendly placement. This may be the very social couple who
are surrounded by friends and are extremely active in all kinds of group
activities. They also may be the crusaders on the block, the ones passing out
the Amnesty International leaflets and asking you to sign petitions. As opposed
to the Ninth House Sun couple, who are more interested in structured study of
more established spiritual systems, the Eleventh House couple may be involved
in diverse New Age explorations and alternative lifestyles.
The focus of the Eleventh House is on how things should be rather than what is,
and they may run into problems when the reality of their lifestyle does not
match their dreams and/or ambitions. They may be so busy with common
causes that they ignore individual needs, and may not be realistic about what
they really have to contribute as a couple. They may be shocked to find out,
after years of friendship and “getting along,” that the relationship did not
provide the depth and intimacy that one or both parties may need.

Composite Sun in the Twelfth House: Many people are wary of the Twelfth
House—the infamous “House of Self-Undoing” in old astrology. The Twelfth
House governs places of seclusion and introspection: hospitals, prisons,
monasteries. Understanding this is the key to its function. Those places,
unpleasant though they may seem to us in our “freedom above all” culture,
represent places where we must retreat in order to become whole again, in
order to heal. When we have a Twelfth House emphasis, and particularly when
the Sun is there, there is something that needs to be fixed, adjusted. And that
something in the Twelfth House is our alignment with our true fate or destiny:
that thing that we were born to do.

Couples with a composite Twelfth House share a specific karma that needs
realignment; something is out of kilter and needs to be put right again. Twelfth
House couples often have a specific thing that needs to be accomplished. They
may stand as representatives of an archetype for others in their community,
large or small. They may have sacrifices of one kind or another asked of them
throughout their lives. They may have to give up their small plans for
themselves to take on a bigger role. Most of all, they will be asked to walk their
talk as far as their beliefs are concerned. The Twelfth House couple may be
more inclined to turn to spirituality than either partner would have done so
alone.

Troubles come when perfectionism makes “walking the talk” impossible. They
may have a hard time harnessing their beliefs to their actions, and may think
nothing is worth the effort. More than any other solar composite position,
there is a tendency for these couples to break up and move on once the specific
lesson is learned, and they have fixed what was meant to be fixed in the way
they express themselves in their daily lives. There also is a tendency for Twelfth
House Sun couples to wallow in their discomfort, or choose escapist behavior,
rather than make the effort to change.

I am a big fan of the Sun (and the Moon), and am often saddened to see that
they are no longer considered “sexy” in the astrological lexicon. Captivated by
each minor aspect to each minor point in the chart, we often don’t spend as
much time as we should interpreting the lights and their function in the chart.
But as we gloss over the lights and jump to the Vertex and/or aspects to Chiron,
we are missing, in fact, the essence of the chart. We are missing what the chart
feels like from the inside. To reveal the true essence of your relationships—and
who you are within your relationships—composite Sun placement is the key.

How does the Sun function in your composite chart? Let us know in comments
below.

Related:

 Composite Uranus: Relationship Liberator or Destroyer?

 Composite Grand Trines: A Relationship Gift With an Edge
 Your Sun/Moon Midpoint: The Key To Your Relationships
 Get Your Free Composite Chart

Composite Uranus: Relationship Liberator or Destroyer?

March 7, 2012 by Nadia Gilchrist 29 Comments

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Credit: Kzenon via iStockphoto

You know those relationships that start suddenly and end faster? How about
the ones you knew would never last, because the two of you were just so
different? These partnerships can leave you feeling blasted, burnt out and
blown away. If you look at the composite chart for any of these, you would
likely see Uranus as a major player.

If you’re wondering what a composite chart is, think of it as an entity that you
and your partner create. It takes on a life of its own, and becomes stronger (the
energies become more pronounced) the longer the relationship lasts.
Technically, it is created from the mathematical midpoints of the planets
between you. For example, if your Sun is located at 10 degrees Virgo and your
partner’s Sun is located at 28 degrees Aquarius, your composite Sun would be 4
degrees Sagittarius. The composite planets will make their own, unique set of
aspects with each other that define how the energy of the relationship is
directed (the same way your natal aspects define how your energy is directed).
For more background, check out this introduction to the composite chart (PDF).

Fortunately you don’t have to fuss with manual calculations; Sasstrology can
whip up a composite report for you. Order your customized composite report
for insight into how the planets play out in your relationship, or you can get a
free copy of your chart at astro.com (choose the Composite Chart, Midpoint
Method).

Uranus, in the composite chart, represents liberation, excitement and

breaking free from the past. It can add sizzle to a relationship. But strong
Uranus aspects can also create instability and abrupt separations. The good
news is that an emphasized composite Uranus does not have to spell the end of
a partnership. While there’s never a guarantee that a union will last (and some
are not meant to), this energy can be given a positive outlet. And you don’t
have to walk away feeling like you’ve been hit by a nuclear bomb.

Emphasized Uranus

What constitutes an emphasized Uranus? Hard aspects (conjunction, square,

opposition) to the composite Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus or Mars. These are
personal planets, and tough Uranus contacts to them can dominate a
relationship. Uranus in a hard aspect to one of the angles or ruler of the angles
(cusps of the 1st, 4th, 7th and 10th Houses), will also be felt strongly, because
these points are extremely sensitive.

If the composite chart between you and your partner has one or more of these
Uranus contacts, what do you do? Start by identifying the house where this
planet sits. This will tell you what area of the relationship Uranus’ energy is
based in. Birth times for both partners are essential in order to have accurate
composite house positions.

Example 1: Uranus in the Composite 5th House Conjunct Composite Moon

For example, Uranus in the composite 5th House will influence the area of
children, romance, ego and creativity. And let’s say it’s conjunct the composite
Moon. When these partners first got together it probably felt (Moon) exciting
(Uranus), and over-the-top romantic (5th House). But this level of sparkle can
only be sustained for so long. Trying to maintain that initial childlike discovery
and fascination (5th House) can be difficult under the onslaught of day-to-day
responsibilities. The shadow side of a frustrated 5th House Uranus would be
one or both partners looking outside the relationship to revive that brand-new
romance feeling (the 5th House is also the house of love affairs). But it doesn’t
have to unfold this way.

This energy can find a healthier expression by bringing something new (Uranus)
and emotionally fulfilling (Moon) into the relationship. Having children is one
option, but so is creative expression for both partners. Uranus likes to stand
out, so both partners will need to feel (Moon) that they have something special
(5th House) of their own—something that lets each express themselves in a
unique way (Uranus). I’m talking artistic projects, creative hobbies, writing, a
garage band … whatever. They can work on something together, but ego clashes
are a risk. So it’s best to find separate ways to shine. This is not the kind of
relationship where one partner stands back and lets the other one take the
spotlight.

Example 2: Composite Uranus Conjunct the Descendent

For another example, let’s put composite Uranus on top of (conjunct) the
Descendent (cusp of the 7th House). The planet of disruption is hitting the spot
that governs this couple’s partnership with others and their own relationship
projections. With this placing, it is so important that each person has room to
move. It will not be a conventional pairing; this could be a long-distance
relationship, or there may something about it that flies in the face of what
other people expect. Trying to force it into the confines of a traditional union
will trigger Uranus’ destructive energies, and make it vulnerable to outside
disruptions.

The highest expression of Uranus is ideals for, and about, the collective. If
Uranus conjunct the composite Descendent can be expressed outwards on a
joint mission (such as improving conditions for other people), there will be an
external goal to keep this couple occupied and together. This can be the couple
that unites (7th House) to rebel (Uranus) against something (in a constructive
way, of course).

Example 3: Uranus Square the Composite Sun

My final example is Uranus square the composite Sun. This is a direct challenge
to the relationship’s purpose. It could indicate a relationship that developed
suddenly, or one whose purpose is unusual. If we put the Sun in the 1st House
(the identity of the relationship), it looks like the purpose drives the
relationship. It stands out and feels important to the partners. This is the couple
who is going to accomplish something. But throw in a square from Uranus in
the 4th House (the relationship’s foundation), and there’s a conflict. Uranus in
the composite 4th makes it very difficult to build a stable home. Family conflicts
or the disruptive childhood of one or both partners can cause enough insecurity
to rattle their mutual purpose (Sun).

The danger with this placement is that instability based in the past can make it
an on/off relationship. The key is that both partners need to be okay with the
unusual home life this partnership will demand. This could be the couple that
marries, but maintains their own dwellings. It’s not a relationship that favors
the needy. Also, breaking away from the past and forging new habits based on
this relationship (rather than past relationships) is critical. It’s not easy to start
fresh, but this is the kind of partnership that demands it.
Composite Uranus is energy, and it can be directed. It can propel a couple
forward, or it can tear them apart. With enough creativity and self-awareness,
two people can experience its benefits together.

Recommended Reading: Planets in Composite: Analyzing Human Relationships

(The Planet Series) by Robert Hand

Does Uranus in your composite chart bring excitement or instability to your

relationship? Let us know in comments below.

Related Posts:

 Uranian Lightning: Uranus in Synastry

 Uranus in the Seventh House
 Bad Boys: The Uranus-Ruled Relationship
 Embrace Your Longing
 May 9, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner 9 Comments
 Advertisement: Live Astrology readings – Compatibility horoscopes and
reports available NOW!
 Attraction to unavailable people is all too common, whether they are
married, far away, too busy or just emotionally closed down. Although
there is a time to focus on the “why” of your yearning for what is out of
reach, you can also explore the spiritual quality of your desire.
 I don’t mean to elevate obsession to a sanctified state of being. All too
often, it removes us from our centers. However, your longing is far from
mundane.
 Venus and Neptune concern our desire to connect. Whereas Venus wants
to love another person, Neptune wants to transcend the “self” to love
everything. Venus rules attraction, but Neptune is beyond ordinary
desire. Neptune wants us to dissolve our egos to blend with that which is
outside of us. It does not matter if you’re drawn to a tree, a person, an
image of God or Goddess. If you see it as separate, Neptune wants you to
realize that there is no wall between you, except for the one that you
have created in your mind.
 When you feel pain that you cannot be with the object of your desire,
this feeling derives from your experience of being isolated. You believe
that another person will “complete” you, or fill up the hole of emptiness
 you feel in your soul. It is possible that intimacy with this person will
bring a near-sense of wholeness, but all too often the fantasy bears little
resemblance to reality. Your latest obsession turns out to be a human
being, with flaws and all — but one who may be totally inappropriate
relationship material.
 Neptune is god of the seas, and as such, water metaphors help to explain
his effect on us: a cloud of delusion, feeling like one is in a fog. You can
rarely see clearly when Neptune is involved. Your fantasies and dreams
get in the way of reality. Disappointment and disillusionment are
frequent after-effects of Neptune, for when the fog clears, the real
person emerges, and they aren’t “all that.”
 You can use this disparity between fantasy and reality to learn about
yourself. Consult a “wise one” (astrologer, psychotherapist, psychic, guru,
…) to help you, or do it yourself through journalling.
 However, don’t stop at understanding why you’re attracted to the
“unattainable.” The Sufi poet Rumi wrote that the heartache associated
with yearning for Divine connection is the connection itself. It is in your
longing that you are acknowledging your need to move beyond your own
“small self.”
 It has been written before that you cannot be in a healthy relationship if
you are not first comfortable with being alone. This may or may not be
true. More relevant to this discussion is that the desire itself for a
relationship can both bring the pain of your loneliness to the forefront of
your consciousness, and obliterate your identification as an individual,
thus dissolving the ache — for momentarily, you are One with another.
Even if it is just a fantasy, the experience of imagining your total
connection with another person (or God/Goddess) overshadows your
usual sense of isolation.
 Living within the Neptunian realm at the expense of the Saturnian
(reality) is not the answer. Even Zen monks chop wood and carry water.
But embrace your longing, for when you don’t forget your “self,” your
longing shines a mirror back at you, illuminating the divine aspect of
yourself that knows you are not really alone.

Codependency, Neptune and The Tangle of Human Relationships

July 13, 2010 by Beth Turnage 37 Comments
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Do you put the welfare of others before

your own self-interests? Are you sensitive – maybe a little too sensitive – to the
emotions of others? Do you somehow take on “too much” of the work of a
relationship? There is a word for that, you know, and that word is co-
dependency.

Despite the fact that it is not listed as a disorder in the Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) published by the American
Psychiatric Association, co-dependency is considered by a good many health
care professionals as an emotional health, if not a mental health, issue.

Codependency or codependence is a tendency to behave in overly passive or

excessively caretaking ways that negatively impact one’s relationships and
quality of life. It also often involves putting one’s needs at a lower priority than
others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.
Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including in families, at
work, in friendships, and also in romantic, peer or community relationships.
Codependency may also be characterized by denial, low self-esteem, excessive
compliance, and/or control patterns.

Source: Codependency. (2010, July 12). In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia.

Retrieved 13:03, July 13, 2010, from http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?
title=Codependency&oldid=373150011

An Astrological Viewpoint
A human being with the traits shown above often has a strong Neptune/Pisces
signature in their chart. A Neptune/Pisces signature can manifest in different
ways:

 Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars in the zodiac sign of Pisces

 Neptune in energetic connection (aspect) to one of the above planets,
especially the other water sign moons, Cancer and Scorpio.
 Pisces on the cusp of the first or seventh house.

The Influence of Pisces and Neptune on Your Personality

Astrologically modern Western astrologers associate the planet Neptune with

idealism and compassion, but also with illusion, confusion and deception; with
religions, spirituality and mysticism, the mass media, creativity in art and music,
drugs, extreme sensitivity, fantasy and imagination, psychic phenomena and
altered mental states. Neptune governs hospitals, prisons, mental institutions,
and any place, such as a monastery, that involves a retreat from society.

Source: Planets in astrology. (2010, July 12). In Wikipedia, The Free

Encyclopedia. Retrieved 13:23, July 13, 2010, from
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?
title=Planets_in_astrology&oldid=373001503

Neptune, being one of the outer planets, operates at a different level than a
personal planet. At its core, Neptune speaks about Spirit, that part of us that
exists outside of physicality, time or space. Spirit has a much different
perception of existence. Viewed from the perspective of immortality, the brief
sojourns we have on earth are important tools for growth. However, the day-to-
day minutiae, whether that hot guy says hello to us at the water cooler or not,
for instance, are non-issues. Spirit has a natural tendency to help and comfort,
like angels are said to do at our times of crisis. Those of us with an extra helping
of Neptune or Pisces in our chart are naturally inclined towards compassion
with a strong desire to help others.

The Neptune/Pisces individual’s sense of boundaries tend to be rather fluid.

Since we feel the emotions of others, we tend to think that others do the same.
It is often a shock for us to realize that most people do not. It is as hard for us to
fathom that notion as it is for others to understand that there are people that
have Neptunian abilities. Clinicians call Neptunian emotional fluidity
“hyperawareness of other’s emotions” and considers this a symptom of
codependency.

The Challenge

These Neptunian qualities – compassion, awareness of other’s needs, and a

desire to help – may be among the finest that humanity has to offer itself. But
as always, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

The challenge for any person with a strong Neptune/Pisces signature is to learn
when to give and when to respect personal boundaries, when to realize when a
little bit of help and comfort morphs into too much caretaking. Since it is
Neptune that guides our actions here, we may delude ourselves, thinking that if
we help just a little more, the other person will get that job, overcome that
addiction, learn to love.

We’ve all come across those folks that will take advantage of a good heart.
More than just being down and out, these people actively deny responsibility
for fixing the problems in their life. Yet for someone with a Neptunian
signature, it can be hard to know the difference between someone who needs
some support and someone who is taking advantage. Here is the guideline to
follow when trying to figure out how much to invest yourself: If the other
person fails to follow through on their promises to you within a reasonable
time frame and regularly makes excuses for themselves, then they are using
you for their own comfort. Continuing to take care of such person will rightly
earn you the label of being co-dependent.

In the tangle of human relationships, the challenge for the Neptunian marked
soul is to learn where to put their considerable talents. Let the angels handle
those folks whose views are too distorted to help themselves. That is their job.
Your job is to use your caring and compassion to light a path to Love on this
Earth plane. There, isn’t that a better use of your talents?

Pluto Relations in Synastry: Part 1 of 2

January 18, 2011 by Dawn Bodrogi 6 Comments
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All of the outer planets misbehave in synastry.

Even the best of contacts give us something to struggle with, though the
positive shows itself more readily with the easier aspects. Any outer planet
contact is at its worst when we’re taken by surprise. When we’re older and have
risen up from the metaphorical ashes a few times, we learn what we’re up
against. If we’re taken in our innocence, the experiences of the outer planets
can be life-altering. They’re meant to be. It’s difficult enough if we have major
outer planet contacts within our natal chart, but when the contacts come from
outside, via synastry, they can shock, stun and paralyze us, because we never
see them coming. The experience comes to us via another, because we are
blind to that dynamic within ourselves.

Pluto has a dangerous reputation in synastry. He’s the guy in the room who
causes everyone to back away a little. It’s well-deserved. With Pluto comes
jealousy, obsession, compulsion, fearsome desire, terror, rage—a fight to the
death, to the last gasp. In its more self-destructive phase, it can be a wish for
death. With Pluto can come the experience, and hopefully an understanding, of
the deepest, darkest desires of human nature: the impulse to destroy, to break
taboos, to experience the forbidden. But Pluto is also about the impulse to
cleanse, the impulse to heal. Pluto strips away the crust, the rot, the poison
that is preventing us from experiencing our own spiritual wholeness. He doesn’t
ask our permission or compliance. Pluto will get what it wants, by any means
necessary—we only go along for the ride. When Pluto contacts another’s
planet, it is to discover these dynamics within itself.

The Martian side of Pluto, in his role as the higher octave of Mars, is the one
most visible in synastry. Pluto, in relationship mode, sets out to satisfy desire.
No matter the planet it contacts, Pluto desires to be reborn through a deep
psycho-sexual exchange with another human being. Pluto can go after whatever
it needs to this end with a frightening intensity. There is a vast difference,
though, between the way Mars and Pluto operate. Mars simply satisfies desire.
In comparison to Pluto, Mars is rather mindless—it sees something it wants and
it goes for it. On the other hand, Pluto has an agenda, a purpose, which is
ultimately soul-oriented. Pluto wants to test our limits, to strip us down to the
essence. Mars is direct. Pluto is not. There is an attraction/repulsion dynamic to
Pluto that is interesting to observe, particularly in synastry. Pluto is torn
between the known and the unknown; it senses that the unknown offers a kind
of death, and is not fool enough to embrace it wholeheartedly, even though it
knows that particular death is necessary. Pluto will do this ‘dance of death’ until
desire inevitably wins out (it is Martian, after all). Then Pluto will hang on until
its mission is accomplished, no matter the suffering. Life may be divided into
‘before’ and ‘after’ this Pluto contact. We are still ourselves, but we are not the
same.

Transformation is Pluto’s ultimate goal. Whatever the aspects, Pluto strips

away the ineffective coping mechanisms and false confidences of any planet it
touches. Pluto will explore that planet’s depths and seek out what isn’t
working. Pluto doesn’t involve the willing seduction and surrender that
Neptune implies. With Pluto, the attraction is hypnotic, and very often feels
unavoidable. The old Self, with all of its imperfect coping mechanisms, struggles
to stay alive. Usually, the old Self loses. (Or it runs away, living to fight Pluto
another day.) Relationships with heavy Pluto contacts have a Nietzschean tinge:
that which does not kill me makes me stronger.
It would be nice if we could say that all these Pluto contacts were for the best,
but that would be like putting a Good Housekeeping seal of approval on an
earthquake. It’s good to rebuild, but the method or means or timing can be in
question, and it doesn’t always have to be from the ground up. Pluto has the
task of stripping away any psychological dross that no longer works for us, or
affirms what has been shakily established. But Pluto, too, has to learn its limits.
The best of Pluto goes forward with awareness. The worst of Pluto doesn’t
know the difference between pruning dead branches and uprooting the entire
tree. He can be a healer, allowing new growth, or he can be a thug, leaving us
lying battered in the street.

Read Part 2: Pluto and the Inner Planets

This post has been republished by permission of the author and appeared in its
original form at The Inner Wheel.

Related posts:

 Pluto Problems in Relationships

 Integration and Dangers in the Process of Healing Pluto Problems
 Are You Better Off Being Single? (Part Three: Pluto)

Integration and dangers in the process of healing Pluto problems

June 4, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner 8 Comments

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Whether you address the healing of Pluto problems [Donna Cunningham has a
book by this name] via long-term psychotherapy or intensive retreat, the
integration of material that arises from the unconscious is paramount to
healing. If there is any danger to retreats or workshops, it is that (through the
use of powerful tools of consciousness-expansion) too much material comes to
the surface, and the participant feels overwhelmed. Then she goes home and
does not know how to make meaning of her memories, images, bodily
experiences, and so on. She also does not know how to go on with her daily life
without being inundated with feelings that she cannot handle. However, if she
has already done a lot of inner work and has a fair amount of ego strength and
coping skills, she can benefit from intense weekends of transformation.

The benefit of long-term psychotherapy is that the healing of Pluto problems

can happen over a slow pace in a (presumably) safe environment. Psychological
material arises over time, sometimes in big chunks with apparently little going
on for weeks or months in between. I say “apparently,” because much of the
work of psychotherapy is building enough trust in the psychotherapist to feel
safe, thus allowing one to open up the psyche in the container of the
therapeutic space.

Danger Ahead

Unfortunately, among both psychotherapists and workshop leaders there are

bad eggs who can cause more wounding than healing. It is advisable to get
referrals, use your common sense, and talk with friends, so that you can notice
red flags as they arise. Healers in positions of power (Pluto people!) can effect
profound transformation, and they can also be perpetrators of abuse. The dark
side of Pluto is cults, sex with patients, mind control.

I don’t mean to scare off anyone who feels the imperative to heal their Pluto
problems. Without looking at your “stuff” head on, you are likely to keep
repeating self-destructive habits in relationships (with others or yourself). Just
don’t let yourself be prey; there are good people out there, but you have to do
your research to find them.

Integration

A therapist can help you integrate the material that arises from your
unconscious, but if you are not in counseling, some of the following tools can
help you on your journey:

 Journal about whatever feelings, images, memories come up. Just the act
of writing this stuff down on paper helps to get some of it out of your
head.
 Read books on mythology and Jungian psychology. Some of the Plutonic
material you encounter in healing may come from the collective
 unconscious. Consciousness explorers have mapped out much of human
experience already, so don’t reinvent the wheel.
 Draw, paint, write music, dance … any form of creative expression can
channel material that cannot be expressed in a linear, logical manner.

Comment below: What negative or positive experiences have you had with
healers? How do you integrate the psychological material that arises from your
unconscious as a result of deep inner work?

Related:

 Pluto problems in relationships (Thanks to Eme Kah’s comment for

inspiring the current post.)
 How we turn people off with our planets
 Pluto Relations in Synastry: Part 2 of 2
 January 25, 2011 by Dawn Bodrogi 33 Comments
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reports available NOW!

 Please read Part 1 of this essay first.

 Pluto challenges a planet’s strength and integrity. When Pluto touches
something in a chart, there is nowhere to hide. Whatever secrets I may
have, Pluto will seek them out. Whatever flaws, he will find. If Pluto
touches Venus, my values and my self-esteem, and the very way I express
my love, will be in question. If Pluto touches Mars, there will be a cutting
 or burning away to the very essence of desire. Pluto touching Saturn will
act like the aforementioned earthquake, tearing down whatever I have
built in the house Saturn occupies. With Pluto/Moon contacts, I may well
feel that I’m in a struggle for my soul. At the very least, all my previous
reference points and security patterns will be threatened. The person
with the heavier Pluto influence tends to have the upper hand in
relationships, which is why, when I see strong Pluto between charts, I
always hope that I see it going both ways. This does, in fact, tend to
happen with Pluto, which I find a bit mysterious. It’s as if people who
enter into Pluto wrangles have a mutual desire for this kind of intense
transformation, and Pluto is their weapon of choice.
 Pluto has the tendency to use its penetrating insight as a weapon. Ask
anyone who knows someone with Pluto square Mercury. If they’re
unhappy with you, they may not say anything for months, and then
suddenly unleash a tirade of painful truths that your ten years of analysis
wasn’t able to reveal. Pluto to any planet, either natally or between
charts, brings this same pattern of silence, observation, analysis, and
explosion. They will erupt on you just when you think you’re safe, when
you are least able to defend yourself, and often walk away not realizing
what they’ve done. Pluto’s powers of observation may be acute, but it’s
not the most sensitive or empathetic of energies. Ruthless is the word
that comes to mind again.
 An unaware Pluto has a number of flaws, chief amongst them the desire
and ability to control and manipulate. Pluto often isn’t aware of its
power, and will not realize that, from your point of view, your association
feels as if you’ve been dropped into the middle of a guerrilla war.
Sometimes, they are outright manipulative, and will push your buttons
just to see what they can get you to do. Even within a minor aspect
between charts, Pluto may try to manipulate the partner’s planet to its
own ends. Pluto is always about power, and the undeveloped Plutonian
types were often bruised children who have been made deeply insecure.
We misuse power when we are trying to redress feelings of
powerlessness. Plutonian types have a great deal of charisma, and need
to be persuaded to give up these mindless manipulations and focus their
power for the good.
  When Pluto is involved in a synastry, power is always an issue. Who has
it, who uses it, who controls it within the relationship. Outer planets
influence inner, but those with the inner planet have the ability to make
Pluto sharpen its awareness of the way it operates. The inner planets are
not helpless against Pluto’s assault. Because the inner planets are so
immediate and conscious, they will have a greater understanding of the
way Pluto must transform, and inner transformation is ultimately what
Pluto is after (after the death and rebirth, that is). No accident that Pluto
is the planet that rules analysis and any other means of self-exploration.
Pluto’s attempts to plumb your depths are, in fact, motivated by an
intense desire to understand itself. In positive mode, Pluto will take the
inner planet by the hand and embark on a mysterious, challenging,
sometimes frightening journey towards a greater purity of interaction
and intention. The inner planet will provide Pluto with a means and a
perspective; Pluto will provide the desire, the drive and the will.
 Plutonian relationships aren’t for everyone. If you have a lot of air, or
prefer peaceful companionship to having your psyche pulled out and
splayed all over the place, I wouldn’t recommend them. If you want
passion, if you want intimacy, there are other ways. But Pluto
associations are unique in their ability to help us get beyond the surface
of the mundane world. Not in a dissolving, Neptunian way, but by means
of the deep, chthonian mysteries of the realm of matter itself. If you want
company on your journey through your own psychological underworld,
Pluto is your man.
 This post has been republished by permission of the author and
appeared in its original form at The Inner Wheel.
 Related posts:

Are you better off being single? (Part Three: Pluto)

August 8, 2008 by Jeffrey Kishner 21 Comments

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This post is Part Three of the “Are you better off being single?” series. Please
read Part One: Neptune for an introduction, as well as Part Two: Uranus.
After two attempts at writing this post, I realized that I might have writer’s
block — because I have Venus opposite Pluto. Am I better off single? I doubt it.
With Venus and Sun in my Seventh House of Partnership — as well as my chart
ruler Mercury conjunct my Descendant from the Sixth House — I experience a
strong need for one-on-one connection. Not only in love, but in work — which
is why I spent a number of years as a psychotherapist for individuals (as
opposed to couples or groups).

In the best possible light, I see my natal opposition as my (potential) ability to

effect transformation via the crucible of relationship — a fancy way of saying
that I help people change through my work as a counselor. (My Seventh House
Venus is the ruler of my Midheaven, the point in the chart that governs
vocation.)

Yet, this opposition is a bitch. Although most men think about sex all the time, I
think about sex all the time. I am obsessed (Pluto) with women (Venus)!

Stepping back, I see that this blogging endeavor itself is an expression of my

need to probe (Pluto) the realm of relationship (Venus). The motivation to keep
this blog-engine running has been driven by my compulsive need to understand
the many ways we connect sexually and romantically — courtesy of this
recently-demoted planetoid.[ad#banner]

Pluto is a complicated celestial object. In mythology, this Roman god’s Greek

counterpart is Hades, Lord of the Underworld. Pluto rules all that is hidden, and
its role is to explore the depths — in order to expose that which is underneath
the surface. Healing comes from being whole, and we cannot achieve this state
of unity when aspects of ourselves (or our society) are outside our awareness.
Pluto is the detective, the investigator, the psychoanalyst — digging up secrets
to get to the Truth of the matter. In relationships, Pluto drives us to experience
a depth and intensity of connection that may scare off folks who like their lovin’
light and easy.

Pluto is also about power. The dark side of this planet is control, domination,
destruction (not that some destruction isn’t a necessary part of the cycle of
birth and death). Much of the covert, underhanded manipulative tactics that
occur in relationships are associated with Pluto. Dark Pluto asks, “How can I use
the information I know about my partner’s weaknesses to get him to do what I
want?” If you have a challenging Venus-Pluto aspect in your natal chart (or if
Pluto is transiting your Venus), either you can be the one doing the
manipulating, or the one being screwed over. One cannot really tell just by
looking at the chart! If you find yourself repeating an unhealthy dynamic —
involving power struggles, boundary-violation, and the above-mentioned
patterns — in several relationships, it may be time to take a breather. Enter
psychotherapy and explore the roots of this pattern, for until you identify what
you contribute to it (even if you identify as the victim), you are likely to keep on
repeating it.

If you destroy relationships because you are sexually compulsive or love-

addicted, you may also need to seek help. 12-step groups like Sex and Love
Addicts Anonymous may help those who are obsessed with some unattainable
person, or those who spend more time watching porn than relating on an
intimate level. If the 12-step model doesn’t work for you, there are treatment
facilities like The Meadows where you can work on healing sex and love
addiction. (None of these links are endorsements.)

If your Pluto is more destructive than regenerative, some of the above avenues
of healing may be useful. You can also read more in these articles:

 How to change stuck relational patterns associated with challenging natal

aspects
 Integration and dangers in the process of healing Pluto problems
 Pluto problems in relationships

Some possible chart patterns to look out for:

 Pluto in hard aspect to, or conjunct, the Sun, Moon, Venus or ruler of the
Seventh House
 Pluto in the Seventh House, or Scorpio on this house’s cusp
 Some of these key planets in Scorpio or the Eighth House

Comment below: Does this pattern apply to you? If so, describe your relevant
chart patterns and how they manifest in your love life (or lack thereof).
Chiron Contacts in Synastry: Pain Is Just the First Step

August 28, 2013 by Nadia Gilchrist 20 Comments

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Chiron/planet contacts are some of the most complicated in synastry. Chiron’s

association with pain and healing adds poignancy to a relationship; there’s a
sense of great possibility, combined with the threat of being hurt. And someone
will get hurt. Chiron is based on a wound, and if another person’s planet
activates it, some pain is inevitable. But Chiron contacts don’t work in the same
manner as other interaspects, meaning who feels what is not straightforward.
Much depends on how the Chiron person is dealing with their wounds, and
how the planet person deals with vulnerability.

Before we look at some examples, here’s a brief overview of what natal Chiron
represents. Known as the “Wounded Healer,” this planetoid (small planet)
shows where you feel the most weakness, insecurity or pain. It goes beyond
Saturn fear, or Pluto survival, and describes where you feel you are lacking,
awkward, or simply not as good as everyone else. Sometimes it can indicate a
physical disability. That’s the wounded part. The healing part happens when
you confront your sore spot. There’s a misconception that you can neatly do
away with Chiron’s wounds; you can’t. It’s the wound that never, completely
heals. But that’s Chiron’s power, because once you get a handle on why/how it
hurts, you can take that energy and help other people. Think of it as the
“Wounded Healer and Teacher.” With the empathy and depth you achieve from
dealing with your Chiron wound, there’s the potential to guide others, and help
them master that same area. Chiron in your chart is where you can show
others how to excel, in ways you don’t excel (because your wound will always
hobble you). Sounds thankless, but it’s not. People who truly own their Chiron
are amongst the most compassionate, healing and magnetic individuals that
you’ll ever meet. Magnetism is an important part of the Chiron package.

So that’s the Chiron basics. Now, imagine meeting someone whose planet(s)
trigger your Chiron. Chiron contacts are not strictly sexual/romantic (they can
often be found between the charts of close friends) but for the purposes of this
article we’ll assume that a romantic attraction already exists.

›› Get your customized astrological compatibility report for insight into how
the planets play out in your relationships.

Person A’s Chiron in 7th House Aries Conjunct Person B’s Moon

Abeba has the Wounded Healer in her house of committed relationships. Being
a partner is a sore spot for her. How/why it’s a sore spot is described by the sign
her Chiron is in: Aries, the sign of identity and will. This could manifest in a few
ways, but she’s probably not great at maintaining her identity in a relationship.
Maybe she always puts her partner first, or feels really awkward when she tries
to do her own thing (like she doesn’t know how to balance her sense of self
with her partner). Compromise in general is a mystery to her, so she errs on the
side of sublimating herself to the relationship. She’s always felt that everyone
else had the inside scoop on how to “be” a partner, but there was something
wrong with her.
She meets Joseph, and his Aries Moon conjuncts her Chiron. There is instant
magnetism between them, because Chiron/Moon conjunctions seem to awaken
the sense (in both parties) that healing and comfort is available through the
other person. While that doesn’t sound very sexy, it can be incredibly potent.
Joseph feels that Abeba has something to teach him about relationships
(remember Chiron’s teacher side — the vibe is there, even if the Chiron person
is not anywhere close to being a teacher) and Abeba may feel that it’s safe to
trust Joseph (his Moon brings the promise of nurturing). When she’s with him
(initially), she no longer feels like an outsider in the world of romance. The
Chiron person often opens the planet person up (without trying), so Joseph
may feel more vulnerable with her than he has with other women. Keep in
mind that all this is happening on a level that goes beyond intellect. They just
feel the pull, and want more.

How the rest of this goes down depends on how Abeba and Joseph handle the
intense needs they bring out in each other. As the relationship progresses,
Joseph’s impulsive, aggressive way of expressing his feelings will trigger Abeba’s
relationship wounds. She may start asserting herself in the face of his Aries
Moon. Or, she may find that she’s not ready for him, and pulls away. Every time
he expresses an emotion, it just reminds her of how inadequate she is in
relationships. Joseph may handle his increased vulnerability (in the face of her
Chiron) by putting up his Aries defences; he fights back, hurting her even more.
Or, he may dive in with full-on enthusiasm, learning how to express himself
with a balance of courage and empathy. It could be a bold, passionate new
world for both of them. Or, it may just feel too raw.

Person A’s Chiron in 2nd House Gemini Opposite Person B’s Mars

Stacey’s Chiron, in her 2nd House of security, has always made her feel as if she
doesn’t have enough of anything. Part of this is due to her personal logic
(Gemini) that she doesn’t deserve to have emotional and financial security. But
also she has difficulty communicating (Gemini) what she needs (2nd House).
Somehow, her ideas come out wrong. This also applies to her sexual needs.
Ismail’s Mars in Sagittarius falls in her 8th House (of intimacy) and opposes her
Chiron. His expansive, enthusiastic (Sagittarius) way of expressing his energy
and sexuality (Mars) is unnerving for her, but also irresistible. When he wants
something (including her) he just goes for it. No worries, no inhibition. Stacey is
envious of his ease, attracted to his energy, and insecure (every time they get
together). He triggers so many “what ifs”; what if he thinks her desires are
wrong/silly, what if he changes his mind about her, what if she changes her
mind about him? She also feels like she’s under attack. He’s so pushy and just
does what he wants (although he thinks he’s just being his normal, optimistic
self).

On Ismail’s side, he’s attracted to Stacey because he feels like she just “knows
something.” He senses the potential behind her fears, some mysterious key that
could open things up for him (not just sexually, but in his life). There’s
something to be explored here, and he charges after it. Unfortunately, the more
he charges forward, the more Stacey feels scattered, nervous and unsure about
what they’re doing together. She hesitates, and he gets angry. Eventually, he
tires of constantly feeling like every move he makes is wrong. Being with Stacey
is simply too much of a hassle, so he runs away.

While oppositions between one person’s Chiron and another person’s Mars can
be quite difficult, there is always potential to make it work. However, Stacey will
have to deal with her shifting ideas about — and hesitancy to articulate — what
she deserves. She can learn to be more accepting of herself with Ismail, and
more direct. She can teach Ismail about awareness towards other people’s
ideas (maybe his bold approach isn’t always the right way). And, he can learn to
communicate his desires, rather than simply charge forward in a blaze of
enthusiasm.

The pain, healing and teaching that occur with Chiron/planet contacts go both
ways (assuming both parties are ready to learn). But in order to get past the
stage of “this hurts too much,” the Chiron person must deal with her or his
pain. And the planet person must be prepared to make some changes as well.
No matter what happens, the depth and magnetism of these connections is
unmistakeable. Both partners will feel it on a profound level.

Related Posts:

Is it Time to Clean Out Your Chiron Closet?

January 3, 2012 by Crystal B. 42 Comments
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I like to think of Chiron sometimes as a closet deep within us. We’ve all got a
place into which we just throw all of our hurts. I don’t care how neat and tidy
you are in your life, your Chiron closet can be messy—particularly when it
comes to relationships! The more hurts you’ve piled up over the years, the
fuller your closet will be.

The ironic part, however, is that we’ll never be able to move on to the new until
we get rid of the old. Chiron is known to many of us as the “Wounded Healer”
because he’s just that—a force that hurts as well as heals. He’s a cliché, but a
powerful one who lives up to his nickname.

Most of us have a hard time cleaning out our closet because, let’s face it, it’s a
big job. It really is so much easier to just throw more stuff in and forget about it.
Ahh … but life is never that easy because, eventually we all have to deal. When
your natal Chiron is activated, it’s a time when the maid sweeps in and says
“That’s it … It’s time to clear this place out!” The process is never easy—even
for the tidiest Virgo!

New Year: New Beginnings

I started to think about my Wounded Healer friend, particularly because of the

New Year. Many of us have probably been thinking about New Year’s
Resolutions, as this is one of the most popular time of year to “wipe the slate
clean,” so to speak. It’s a time of new beginnings and optimism as we all look
forward and set new goals. But in order to move ahead and make real strides,
it’s important to look back for a bit and tidy up the clutter that’s been created
over time.

What Is Chiron?

Chiron is actually not a planet but half asteroid and half comet. Yet his power
over us can be powerfully felt. When we talk about Chiron in our own
Astrology, the truth is that he’s connected to our deepest pain as well as crisis
in our lives. He’s that closet where we stash our emotional pain and try to
forget about it. We’ve all got a sore spot in some aspect of our lives. If you’re
curious about where yours is, take a look at where Chiron lives in your chart.

Charting Chiron

Just as closets can easily be tucked away in our homes, the same can be said for
where Chiron lives in your chart. When you find him, it can be a little startling at
first.

Unfortunately, Chiron makes us learn lessons in a pretty traumatic way and

most often he’s connected to crisis in our lives. So wherever he’s living, there’s
likely a deep wound or hurt that surrounds that area of your life. If he’s living in
any of the collective houses in your chart (the 7th through 12th are known as
the collective houses and the ones that connect you to other people), then your
wounds are likely in some way connected to your relationships with others.

For instance, if he’s in your 7th house of close and personal relationships, you
will likely learn a lot about yourself through your connections with others on an
intimate level. In the 8th, Chiron’s presence could make you have some sexual
hang-ups, and you could end up learning about yourself through deep and
intimate connections with others. If he lives in the 9th, you may have been
rejected by others for something you believe in and eventually were able to rise
above your rejection and implement a new way of thinking.

Gaining Insight Into Chiron Combinations

Regardless of the house he’s living in, you could also dive in and see all the
combinations that Chiron makes in your chart and gain some key insights. For
instance, maybe he’s in a struggle with your Sun, which might have manifested
in some issues with men in your life. He could be caught up in an entanglement
with your Moon, which could wreak some havoc on your emotions or be the
source of some issues you’ve encountered with women.

You’ll likely ponder the reasons why he is where he is in your chart—doing this
can be quite therapeutic in itself. For some of us it may make sense from the
moment you find him; for others it could take a greater thought and require a
deeper level of honesty with ourselves. It can be a startling revelation to see
what his placement means in our lives. Once you find him and really begin to
look at him, you will have the ability to start understanding his good side.

Chiron As Healer

Chiron is after all just as much a healer as he is wounded. For all the pain he’s
caused you in your life, he’s also got the ability to heal—as well as the ability to
help you help others with their pain. Looking at your Chiron—or that messy
closet—straight in the face can be overwhelming at first, but once you dive in
and start the cleaning process you might start to feel better.

I will tell you that even if you decide not to really look at him (and I know some
of us would rather not) he will surface when he’s touched off in your chart by a
transit. When one of the moving planets decides to touch off your Chiron, it will
likely bring some emotional baggage to the surface. However it’s not until these
things start to come out that you’ll be able to begin the healing process.

It’s similar to how you would feel when you first opened that closet door. It can
certainly be overwhelming looking at all the stuff that has piled up over the
years. Gosh … where do I begin? However, it is possible to tidy it up, and what
better time than the start of this New Year? Old shoes … or old boyfriends? It’s
time to get rid of the old, make way for the new and move on! The best part is
that you’ll likely attract some new more beneficial relationships in the process.

[Editor’s Note: You can look up the position of Chiron by your year and month
of birth at Serennu.]

What do you see when you peek into your Chiron closet? Let us know in
comments below.

Photo Credit: KellyJHall via iStockphoto

Related: Chiron in the Houses and in Aspect to Venus

Three Ways to Deal With a Difficult Pluto Person

April 13, 2016 by Nadia Gilchrist 3 Comments

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Credit: KrisCole via iStockphoto

The well-balanced Pluto person is a fantastic partner. Fearless, passionate, loyal

and deeply loving. He takes relationships to a whole new level. The difficult
Pluto person can be frighteningly magnetic, or just plain frightening. The
passion is still there, but it’s laced with manipulation and (in extreme cases)
complete disregard for your boundaries. Is it possible to beat this master
manipulator at his own game?

1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries intact. No matter what. This is crucial, but it’s also the
most difficult thing to manage around a Pluto person. Healthy Pluto people
respect strength, but still feel the urge to challenge your boundaries. But when
you say “no” they back off. The difficult Pluto person will relentlessly subvert
your limits, but not with a naked show of aggression. She’s a pro at exploiting
weak spots. She may claim that she just wants to have an authentic
relationship. If you really loved her, you wouldn’t feel the need to keep secrets,
or hang out with your friends, or spend time away from her. Whether she’s
pushing for information, pushing your sexual limits, or owning every spare
minute that you have, her endgame involves getting power for herself by taking
yours away. Even if she loves you, it’s all about power.

This is why it’s important to have a solid sense of what’s acceptable and not
acceptable, before you get involved. Decide what’s non-negotiable, and stick to
it. Tell her upfront. If you need alone time, take it. If you want to spend time
with other people, do it. If you’re not comfortable going all the way down that
sexual rabbit hole, don’t go there. Sounds simple, but when faced with the skills
of a manipulative Pluto person, it’s not so easy. She will twist logic and use your
attraction to her, so you find yourself giving ground, bit by bit. Maintaining your
boundaries can become an exhausting, 24/7 slog. If this is the case, you need to
decide if being with her makes you feel drained, and then step away from the
relationship. In the end, it’s your call, but if you feel coerced or bullied, she’s
not the partner for you.

Boundaries also need to be maintained once you’ve decided to end the

relationship. Ms. Pluto is notorious for not letting go until she’s ready. But if
you’re ready, stick to your guns. Do not engage, do not get sucked back into a
conversation. This will only make it more difficult for her to let go. A situation
needs to be cold and dead before a Pluto person will walk away, and each time
you answer her emails or have that “one last chat” you’re breathing new life
into the relationship.

The Fine Line Between Pleasure and Pain: Venus Opposite Pluto

December 7, 2011 by Jo Tracey 32 Comments

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 If you have Venus opposite, square or
even inconjunct (150 degrees) Pluto you know all too well the challenging
aspects of this planetary combination—likewise if you have Venus in Scorpio, or,
to a lesser degree, Pluto in the 7th house or Venus in the 8th. But Venus-Pluto
doesn’t only promise a world of pain—it can also lead to transformation.

The Venus-Pluto Personality

Venus-Pluto people are passionate and intense. They can be controlling,

possessive, obsessive and jealous. They can manipulate their partner using love
and sex. They can be transformative and they can be dark indeed. They are also
brutally honest.

With these more challenging aspects, there may also be a difficulty in

controlling desires. You want something or someone so very badly, so intensely,
so extremely and so completely that all rational thought can fly north for the
winter. It doesn’t matter whether what you want is free to come to you or
whether it belongs to someone else—you can’t help craving it. You manipulate
and play games until you get what you want—but have you really? Love and
power become confused to the extent that your biggest fear may be in letting
yourself be equal to another; only self-confidence will allow you to completely
trust another.

(For the record, I have Pluto in the 7th and Venus and Pluto exactly inconjunct. I
admit it—I have control issues and difficulty in detaching or letting go and I do
have a weird attraction to power plays. Venus-Pluto is absolutely at play in my
relationships.)

Venus-Pluto in Relationships

When you are in a relationship, your expectations can be ridiculously high,

especially in regards to your partner’s honesty, fidelity and loyalty—your own
faithfulness may be a little more questionable. Quite often, your dark side
emerges sometime into the partnership (although partnership is not often a
word associated with Venus-Pluto). Be careful not to let the power games ruin
what is actually a good thing. The crappy stuff you see and obsess over is more
than likely coming from within you, not him.

And when it is over? Regardless of whether it was unrequited lust, a single night
of guilt-ridden passion or a long-term relationship, letting go is something that
does not come easily to you—even when you are in pain. In some cases, it is
the pain that reminds you that you feel, and the pain which you find yourself
coming back for again and again.

I have Venus in Aries inconjunct my 7th house Pluto, and I can obsess and hang
on to the fantasy long past its end date and then suddenly wake one morning
and it will be gone. If, however, your Venus is in a fixed sign (especially Scorpio
or Taurus) you may constantly be holding onto something that is no longer true
or seeking a closure that simply doesn’t come.

You hate with as much passion as you love—Venus-Pluto revenge fantasies are
as colorful as their sexual fantasies can be. There is indeed a fine line between
pleasure and pain. In fact, your need for intensity can push you into
relationships which you know are no good for you. The temptation may be to
search for passion in a secret or forbidden way—perhaps with someone who is
out of bounds or otherwise attached.

Venus-Pluto Transformative Potential

The upside of all of this intensity and passion is the potential for creativity and
transformative experiences that comes from Venus-Pluto challenges. You know
only too well what pain is like, and appreciate real love and pleasure all the
more. When you are able to give yourself over completely, that is when the
healing can start.

How Pluto-Venus Transits Will Impact You

When Pluto meets up with Venus by transit (Venus transits are normally quicker
and are therefore unlikely to have long-term impact), even if you are not by
birth a Pluto type, you will be over the duration of this transit. You may find
yourself yearning after a married man, involved in power plays, or indulging in
something intensely secretive. You may also find it more difficult to control your
thoughts, with desires for a person, relationship or something else never far
from your mind. If you already have Pluto-Venus contacts, the impact of this
transit will magnify these.

As an example, a few years ago, Pluto (in Sagittarius) was trine my natal Venus.
My natal Venus-Pluto aspect was activated, and the trine by transit just made
what was happening happen more easily (and by “easily,” do not read “pain-
free”). All the barriers were removed.

Synastry

Don’t just look at your own chart here. Think about the chart of those with
whom you are in relationships. A Venus-Pluto contact can happen through
synastry. It can occur if you are involved with someone who has a Venus-Pluto
signature. There may be someone in your life who forces you to see something
about yourself that you wanted to keep hidden. There may be someone in your
life who transforms you, brings you to life. There could be someone who helps
you destroy something which is no longer good. There may be someone whom
you allow to control you, or manipulate you or possess you. If you look at the
charts of these people, it is likely that you will find a Scorpio or Venus-Pluto
aspect there … or even an 8th house contact by synastry. Have a think about it.

›› Astrological compatibility reports can offer insight into how the planets play
out in your relationships.

With Venus-Pluto oppositions in synastry (i.e., your Venus is opposite his Pluto
or vice versa) the attraction can go between love and hate and right back again
super fast. The relationship will definitely be volatile, possibly unrequited, but,
if sexual in nature, undeniably and addictively intense. This is the sort of
passion that will never be forgotten, the affair that you will compare all others
to.

In any Venus-Pluto relationship, each partner’s deepest fears, insecurities and

fantasies are dragged kicking and screaming out of the closet. In healthy
relationships, this is change your life stuff. Where the motivations of one or the
other are not so “pure,” passion can very quickly turn to pain and power
struggles … and the Pluto person will usually hold the power, with the Venus
person the “submissive” partner. This in itself can cause frustrations, jealousy
and manipulation—staying together is as much a challenge as letting go.

So when Venus and Pluto hook up by opposition, it is very like a one night stand
(the opposition often implies a coming together and pulling apart) or blazing
short term affair that changed you in some way. The sex may have been
incredibly good or incredibly bad—it doesn’t matter. What is important is the
transformative experience: what you learned from it and how it has changed
you. Because it will have … changed you, that is!

How is Venus-Pluto impacting your relationships? Let us know in comments

below.

This post is republished by permission of the author and originally appeared at

Jo Tracey Astrology.

Related Posts:

Nodes in Synastry: An Introduction

October 23, 2009 by Neeti Ray 18 Comments

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Relationship astrology or “synastry” explores both the bonds that unite couples
as well as the conflicts that cause strains in relationships. Sun-Moon and Venus-
Mars aspects are very popular in romantic synastry readings: The former shed
light on potential emotional connections and the latter are all about passion
and chemistry. But if you want to add an extra layer of understanding to
relationship analysis, you would do well to invest some time in looking at nodal
connections in synastry.

The nodal axis speaks of the trajectory of a soul’s growth. While the South
Node represents the skills a person has mastered in the past, the North Node
describes the current learning task. Some people ascribe karmic significance to
the nodes and believe that one person’s planets touching the other’s nodal axis
indicates a karmic link. If you subscribe to this belief, then someone’s planet
touching your South Node shows a past-life connection. The planet involved
reveals the nature of the past relationship: Venus conjunct the South Node
points towards a past-life lover; the Moon conjunction may indicate a maternal
figure; and Jupiter, a teacher or a benefactor.

People often feel magnetically drawn to a person whose chart is linked to their
South Node. This linkage confers a feeling of familiarity that is hard to resist.
David Beckham’s Venus in Gemini is exactly conjunct Victoria Beckham’s South
Node. This is what he says about their romance in Both Feet on the Ground: An
Autobiography: “My wife picked me out of a soccer sticker book. And I chose
her off the telly… It felt straight away like we’d always been meant to be
together.”

North Node links are also powerful. Since the North Node is the energy or the
lesson that a person needs to learn, these connections are believed to be
stronger compared to the South Node when it comes to predicting the
longevity of relationships. The person whose planet aspects another’s North
Node is like a teacher pulling them toward their future personal evolution.

Bill Clinton’s Taurus Moon is conjunct Hillary’s North Node and her Descendant.
Her stellium in Scorpio makes Hillary an intense woman and her Pisces Moon
indicates great emotional sensitivity. For her, Bill’s emotionally steady and
down-to-earth Taurus Moon is like the proverbial Rock of Gibraltar on which
she can lean in times of turmoil. But more than that, this aspect of his
personality is something that she needs to emulate if she is to grow as a
person. North Node bonds, since they are future-oriented, are a contributing
factor in relationships that endure.

Significant relationships, both platonic and romantic, are often marked by nodal
ties between charts. So whether you are already in a relationship or thinking of
embarking on one, look to see what the nodes are doing. Understanding these
linkages will add another dimension to your insight into the relationship’s
dynamics.