Alex Wheeler

Senior Reflective Essay

In the process of writing this reflective essay, I had to fight the temptation to just cast
off these four years as a bad experience. Looking back on just these four years feels like staring
at awkward prom photos or a senior high school portrait with braces (although I have some of
those too…). I’ve learned that the important thing in life is forging meaning out of experiences
that are difficult and uncomfortable to one day put the pieces together and say “this is what
made me who I am”. I’m still standing in a room full of pieces, being told that I’m now
graduating and need to take those pieces somewhere else, “you don’t have to go home but you
can’t stay here”. This preamble/disclaimer is just to say that for me the reflection itself is a
decision to make some semblance of my life and draw out points of light into something
coherent.
Coming to UW, I really had no idea what I wanted to study or do with my life. I was just
a privileged kid who had been told since day one to go to college. Not just any college, an
“elite” college, somewhere where people would be amazed that I got into such an elite
institution. I chose UW because, well, I visited on a sunny day in May. That and it was one of the
few schools I actually got into that were “elite” enough for the likes of my family and
community. Looking back on that time it’s clear that most of that decision making was just
based on people’s perceptions and idolizing a system of higher education that is incredibly
flawed.
My freshman year started off well. I was randomly paired with an awesome roommate
in the dorms, Yasmin, who is still one of my good friends. During the summer I even ended up
travelling back to Thailand with her to visit her family in Chiang Mai for a few weeks. I joined a
FIG, First Year Interest Group, where I met some great folks that were also interested in social
change. We all took SOC 270: Social Problems that introduced me to a whole suite of social
issues in the U.S (poverty, educational disparities etc). The start of my sophomore year was
when things started to take a not-so-great turn. I didn’t have that social support network from
my FIG anymore and I was living with two people in a tiny and expensive dorm room. I hit rock
bottom. (Those words sound strange now, but it felt valid at the time). I became very depressed
and experienced a new low I didn’t really know was possible (surprise!). Luckily, I started to go
to counseling on campus where a series of interns helped me talk through my issues.
Junior year things started to look up. Let’s call it part two. Part two involves me trying to
find a community, being rejected, and learning to make my own community. Junior year I
started CEP and met some incredible people who were just doing their own thing, determined
to make something happen with their interests and talents. I got a job working with UW Moving
& Surplus. What was advertised as an environmental position analyzing the UW’s waste turned
out to be a desk job. I moved into a cool house full of vegans (and hence full of tofu) that are
now my best friends.
Looking back at these past four years I feel incredibly lucky to have met so many
amazing people who have inspired me to pursue great things in life. My family, particularly my
mother, has been very supportive of me during these years and has supported any educational
path I chose. Even though they live in another state, my family makes it a point to visit me at
least twice during the academic year (timing it to skip the crappy weather of course) which
makes the distance between us shrink. Although they do irritate me from time to time (like any
good family), these years away have made me reflect on the long-term goal for my life, and the
need to be located near my folks and all of my extended relatives in the Bay Area.
Luckily, I’ve always had family close by in the NW that I could count on. A huge reason
why I chose to study in Seattle is my Uncle Greg, his partner Lily and their two awesome kids
Gabriela and Talino. They live in Renton and have always made me feel welcome in their home.
As a second cousin, I only met Greg once growing up but he immediately took me under his
wing and became a mentor figure for me while here in Seattle. He used to manage a nonprofit
in Columbia City working with youth of color and giving them a creative outlet for their talents.
Greg has really challenged me to think critically about using my privilege and education toward
something meaningful, particularly working on issues in the Filipinx American community. I
don’t know where I would be without the support of the Garcia family and the love they
showed, and for that I’m grateful.
 In college I became fully aware of just how privileged I am, and how my identity fits
within this larger system. Growing up I had always lived in the middle of spaces. I’m Filipina and
white but don’t exactly look white and have never been labelled Filipina in a first interaction.
People have come up to speaking Spanish, my brother, Arabic. This is life as an ethnically
ambiguous person. Joining the Filipino American Student Association was a great but also
challenging experience. At the very first meeting my Sophomore year, people asked me
skeptically “are you Filipino?”. Unfortunately, this set the tone for the rest of my interaction
with the club. Folks were probably happy to have me in the club, but I had it set in my mind
that they didn’t. So, for that reason, during that year or so I didn’t make any good friends since I
was very cautious in my interactions with people. One nice thing about the club though is that I
got to see what a great community of PoC students looks like. Even though it has its flaws
socially, FASA is a vital space for Filipinx students to find connection with peers like them and
gain strength from community in an otherwise ostracizing environment.
FASA led me to the best class I’ve ever taken: EDUC 401 Decolonizing Filipinx Education
led by two awesome Filipinx folks Dalya and Kriya. I took this class winter of my junior year and
liked it so much that I took it two more times. With a small class, Dalya and Kriya managed to
make a small community every quarter where I was able to learn about Filipino culture and the
history of colonization in the Philippines. They encouraged us to really trust our own
experiences as mixed folks holding a FIlipinx identity. In this course I learned that once the
Americans violently took control of the Philippines in the early 20th century, they modeled the
public education system after the U.S, inserting pro American ideologies into the curriculum
and instituting English as a second language. It’s no wonder that Fil Ams have a hard time
showing pride for their culture – its been suppressed for over 100 years! Moving through
college I lamented my lack of roots, light skin, and assimilated tongue – they felt like traitors to
my true self. But learning our history allowed me to see that I was not alone in this experience,
many Filipinx folks have learned to assimilate to American culture largely out of safety and the
need to be accepted.
A massive part of my development has been the Huskies for Food Justice (formerly the
Husky Real Food Challenge). I joined HFJ in my freshman year and immediately became hooked
on student activism. Most of college has been about sitting in a classroom getting bummed out
by long lectures on how the earth is warming, corporations are exploiting people, and the
prison industrial complex continues to chug away. For the first time I had leverage, a place to
pull on a lever of this university that would in turn affect our entire region for the better. I met
my good friend and mentor, Stefy, who has never shied away from doing difficult and bold
community organizing. She pushes me to think beyond the boundaries of the school, to the
communities who work to produce our food everyday but go unseen from the public eye. Most
importantly, she showed me what it means to organize with hope and to get fired up about an
issue not just because the current state is dire, but because another, more beautiful world is
possible! In this club I also met my good friend Nathan. The both of us made a whole bunch of
mistakes together learning how to organize students on campus to make change happen.
If someone would have told me that one day I would be one of those annoying people
on the street handing out flyers, I would’ve laughed. I never saw myself doing anything
remotely resembling student activism and taking a public, leadership role. Over these past four
years I’ve overcome a series of (mental) obstacles that have pushed me to be who I am today.
While I’m not sure what the future holds, I know it will be bright thanks to the support of the
amazing people around me.