DBT 6 Levels of Validation Handout

Level 1 Validate by demonstrating Interest:

 Listen to and observe what you and others are saying, feeling and doing in an
unbiased manner with complete awareness.
 Resist urges to interrupt others while they are speaking.
 Make eye contact.
 Ask questions that show you want to understand what you are hearing.
 Be genuine and non-judgmental. Remember important information.

Level 2 Validate by Paraphrasing

 Accurately reflect feelings, thoughts, assumptions, and behaviors.

 Communicate understanding by restating information so that it is more coherent
while keeping with the essence of the original statement.
 Be mindful not to be a “parrot” or repeat the shared information word for word

Level 3 Validate by Mind Reading:

• Articulate thoughts, emotions, and/or behavior patterns not directly expressed.

• Verify the facts of a situation and intuitively reflect them in terms of
how they relate to the difficulty of the situation.

Level 4 Validate Based on History:

• Recognize that every outcome has a cause and that for all responses
there is a chain of events leading up to it.
• Connect past learning to current emotional reactions. Explain that intense
or extreme emotional responses occur a transaction between an
emotionally sensitive person and an invalidating environment.

Level 5 Validate Based on Present Situation:

 Articulate the ways in which a response is reasonable given the current situation.
 Acknowledge the value in the other person’s intuition regarding the matter
 Describe how the response makes sense in that it is effective for short-term gains.

Level 6 Validate by Demonstrating Radical Genuineness:

 Act directly, ordinarily, and as if you are talking directly to an equal.

 Do not treat the other person as fragile, incompetent or like a child.
 Convey credibility through a natural flow of communication.
 Speak in terms that the other can relate to,
 Use speech and communication style to facilitate warmth, interest, sincerity, and
respect.

Rachel Gill © 2017

Adapted from Cognitive-Behavioral treatment of borderline personality Disorder by Marsha M. Linehan © 1993 Guilford Press
 Validation Worksheet
"A dialectical stance requires a person to hold both sides of every polarity, to believe that he or she
does not have absolute truth, and to search in earnest for what is missing in both the provider's and
the client's way of construing and responding to the world. In short, it takes some humility." -
Marsha Linehan

INSTRUCTIONS: The item in quotes after each number is an example of an invalidating statement. Your task is to
identify an emotion to validate and then create a validating response to the statement that includes the emotion.

Emotion VALIDATE THE EMOTION AND REFRAME IT WITH THE NONJUDGMENTAL FACTS.

1. "You don't understand or care about about my life. Nobody does.”

Frustration It's frustrating to feel like no one cares. I care and want to understand.

2. “It's really lame that the hospital messed up my meds. I need them now.”

3. “My life is empty and meaningless.”

4. “Talking about self-harm makes me want to crawl under a rock and hide.”

5. “I am a loser because I don't stop getting drunk and high even though it's ruining me.”

6. “It makes me sick how cruel and insensitive my family is to my pain.”

7. “I am too needy because I cry when my spouse doesn't call me back right away.”

8. “My mom and dad always brag about my stupid brother and put me down.”

9. “I don't care that he hits me, he's always there for me when no one else is.”

10. “If I cry everyone will think I am weak or being a selfish drama queen.”

11. “I hate my life and I want to die.”

Rachel Gill © 2017

Adapted from Cognitive-Behavioral treatment of borderline personality Disorder by Marsha M. Linehan © 1993 Guilford Press