Latin-American Reformed Seminary Ephesians

May 2018

Lecture 15
Ephesians 6: 1-3

Intro.

- Paul’s purpose
o In writing this letter
 Is to help his readers understand
 That the implications
o Of the Gospel
 Don’t just bear
 On what
happens when
we die,
o But have real
 And important
consequences
 For how we live in
 And relate to
o This
present
world.
- Now,
o Wonderfully
 The Gospel
 Does change
o What happens to us when we
die.
o The first two chapters
 Of this letter
 Describe for us
o In wonderfully vivid ways

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 How our eternal

destines are changed
 When we come
to embrace
Christ as He is
offered to us in
the Gospel.
- Paul has laid out
o In one of the most magisterial descriptions of the
Gospel
 How faith in Christ
 Transforms our standing before God
o From that of judgment
 To that of blessing.
- Before coming to Christ
o We stand
 Liable to the wrath of God
 Paul has explained.
o Following the ways of the devil,
 Preoccupied by
satisfying ourselves,
 Following the course of
this world
 And refusing to
give God the
honor and glory
that He alone is
due as God,
o We are
 To use Paul’s phrase

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 “children of
wrath.”
 We are destined to face
 The just punishment
o Of a righteous God.
- But
o In chapter 2 verse 4
 Paul, using one of those
 Glorious conjunctions,
o Wrote

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he
loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive
together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up
with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,
so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his
grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 2:4–7)

- For those
o Who put their faith in Christ
 The wrath of God
 Is transformed into the blessing of God,
 And what lies before us
 Is not an eternity of punishment
o But an eternal life
 In which we will dwell
 Enjoying all the
blessings
 Of the sons of
God.
o An internal life
 In which we will enjoy

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 All the lavish

blessings of a
son and an heir.
- But as glorious as that is,
o As wonderful as that future is,
 That sure and certain hope that lies before us
o Paul wants us to understand
 That this is not simply
 Pie-in-the-sky-when-you-die.

- He wants us to understand
o The glorious future
 That lies before us,
o But he also wants us to understand
 That that future
 Informs and shapes
o How we live now
 In this present world.

- Now,
o As we have mentioned before
 This message –
 This implication of the Gospel,
o Had taken root
 Quickly
 In Ephesus.
o In Acts 19
 We read
 Of how the Ephesians
o Very quickly understood
 That to come to Christ

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 Was to have
your life
reoriented.
o Both those who
 Embraced the Gospel
 That Paul preached
o And laid hold of Christ by faith –
 Like the magicians
 Who burned
the equivalent
of $6million
worth of books
 As they turned
away from their
superstition
 And profess
their faith in
Christ,
 As well as those who didn’t
 Like Demetrius and other silver-smiths
o Who led the riot against the
Church
 Understanding enough
of what Paul was saying
 To understand
 That to
embrace Christ
 Meant,
necessarily,
turning away

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from Artemis of
the Ephesians
 The goddess
whose images
they made.
- Quickly
o It was understood
 In Ephesus
 That faith in Christ
o Means more than
 Simply what happens
when you die
o But has real
 And immediate
consequences
 For how you
live in this
world.
- And in this letter
o Paul is seeking to build on that
 Initial understanding,
 And tease out more of its implications
o Particularly
 When it comes to the
most close, intimate
relationships of our
lives.
- What Paul wants us to see
o Is that this is not just about
 The grand gestures.
 Its about the mundane.

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 Its about the ordinary.

o The Gospel
 Affects and informs
 How we relate
o As husband and wife,
 How we parent
o How we act in the workplace.

- Paul wants us to see

o That in the unexciting areas of life
 The Gospel
 Comes to bear,
o And it transforms us.
o It removes us from the wisdom
of the age
 (whatever age, and
whatever wisdom that
may be)
o And it gives us a new way of
looking at the world and our
circumstances
 A way that is directly
tied to
 Our
relationship
with God in
Christ.
- And so
o Really getting down
 To the focus of the letter
 Here in ch. 5

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o Paul began
 By giving the general
ethic
 That we should
submit to one
another
 Out of our
reverence for
Christ.
- Paul summed up
o The Christian life
 As a radical self-forgetfulness
 That is rooted
o In our understanding of the
Gospel.

o If we are as bad as we truly are

 And if we have been
loved by God
 As we truly
have been
 To called now
His Sons and
heirs,
o Then we understand
 That all that we have
and are
 Is by grace
alone
 And so we have
room to

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demand
anything from
anyone,
 But instead are
servants of all.
- And we have been looking
o At how Paul
 Has applied
 That radical humility
o To the relationship of husbands
and wives,
o Showing us
 That it creates a wholly
different paradigm for
understanding that
relationship,
 And in particular
 And wholly
different
paradigm for
what it means
to be a
husband.
- While the husband
o Is called
 To be the Head of the head of his wife,
 That calling
 Is really a call
o To self-sacrifice
 And a life that is wholly
focused

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 On the welfare
and flourishing
of his wife,
 Even at the
expense of his
own desire and
pleasures.

I. What does it say?

- And now
o Paul brings this to bear
 On the relationship of children and parents.

- And again
o Rooted
 In the Gospel,
o Tethered
 By our reverence for Christ,
 Paul gives us a picture
o Of the relationship
 Between parent and
child
 That is wholly
different
 From really
anything that
we can find in
the world:
 Either the first
century near
Eastern world,

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 Or the 21st
Century
Western world.
- What Paul commands the children
o To do here is relatively simple:
 They are to obey their parents.
o The radical humility
 That comes with the Gospel
 Is to manifest itself
o In a Christian child’s willing
submission
 To their parents.

- But,
o There are a couple things
 We have to take note of here.

- The first is
o That the submission that Paul commands
 The obedience
 That we wants to see manifest
o In the lives of these children
 Is not just and
obedience to fathers,
 But to both
parents.
- Now that’s significant
o Especially when we remember
 The context into which
 This letter was written

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o And when we remember

 What Paul has just said
 About the relationship
 Between husbands and wives.
o This helps us
 Understand more what Paul has just said
 About that relationship:
 The parity of father and mother here
o Demonstrates that the
submission that Paul
commands in the previous
passage in no way removes the
wife’s dignity.

- In the eyes of Christian children

o The mother has as much
 Right to be obeyed as the father.
o While the father is the head of the home,
 There is a shared authority
 When it comes
o To the raising of children,
 And a shared expectation
o That the children
 Will obey their mother
just as much as they
obey their father.
- To repeat a point
o We have made several times
 Over the past couple of weeks,
o But it bears repeating:
 That simple fact

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 Goes to show
o That there is no concept of the
wife and mother
 Being in a second-place
to her husband.
o While her role
 May be distinct from that of her husband
 Her dignity and worth
o Is fundamentally equal,
 And Paul here calls
Christian children to
recognize this fact.

- Secondly,
o This obedience that Paul requires of children
 Is not universal.
o It is qualified
 By the statement
 “in the Lord.”

- And that is important,

o Because
 Just as the above passage
 Has been used by wicked men
o To justify the abuse of their
wives,
 So this passage
 Has been used by wicked and cruel
parents
o To justify

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 The abuse of their

children.

- But Paul is not giving a blanket command here.

o This is nuanced,
 This is qualified.
o The obedience
 That is expected from children within the
Church
 Is restricted
o To those things that are
consistent
 With submission to
Christ.

- Right?
o This goes back to v. 21
 This whole way of life
 Is to be tethered to our reverence for
Christ,
 And so children
 Are not required
o To obey their parents
 When their parents
command them to do
something that is
contrary to the
revealed will of God,
 And in fact
 We could say
o That the flip side of this

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 Is that it is the duty of

children
 To resist their
parents
 When they
command them
to do
something that
is contrary to
the revealed
will of God.

- While the parents

o Have authority within the home,
 It is always a delegated authority,
 And is superseded by the authority of
Christ
o To whom the child
 Must be first loyal.

- The Westminster Larger Catechism

o Commenting on the fifth commandment –
 The commandment that Paul quotes here
 In verse 2
o As the foundation of what he is
saying,
o In the comment on the fifth commandment
 The Westminster Larger Catechism asks
 “What are the sins of superiors? The
sins of superiors are, besides the
neglect of the duties required of them,,

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and inordinate seeking of themselves,

their own glory, ease, profit, or
pleasure; commanding things unlawful,
or not in the power of inferiors to
perform; counseling, encouraging, or
favoring them in that which is evil;
dissuading, discouraging, or
discountenancing them in that which is
good; correcting them unduly; careless
exposing, or leaving them to wrong,
temptation, and danger; provoking
them to wrath; or anyway dishonoring
themselves, or lessening their authority,
by an unjust, indiscreet, rigorous, or
remiss behavior.”
- The obedience of children
o Is in the context
 Of a humble, self-sacrifice.
o The obedience that Paul requires here of children
 Assumes
 That the parents
o Will have their eyes
 Not fixed on
themselves
 And what they
want and
desire,
 But on Christ,
 Seeking to
serve and
honor Him

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 In the lives of
their children.

- That’s why Paul

o Follows his command to children up
 With an instruction to fathers in verse 4.

- Why would Paul command fathers

o To not provoke their children to anger?
 Because there is a temptation
 For fathers to provoke their children to
anger!

- “In the pagan world of Paul’s day, and even in many Jewish
households, most fathers ruled their families with rigid and
domineering authority.
o The desires and welfare of wives and children were
seldom considered.
 The apostle makes clear that a Christian father’s
authority over his children does not allow for
unreasonable demands and strictures that
might drive his children to anger, despair, and
resentment.” (Macarthur)
- And that’s not just a first-century problem.
o There is always a temptation
 For parents to provoke their children.
 Just as it is relatively easy
o For a cruel and self-centered
husband
 To manipulate and
dominate his wife,

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 It is easy
o For an incredibly insecure man
 To be try and turn his
children
 Into his
servants.
 He may not be anything in the world
o But he can come home
 And rule with a rod of
iron.
 In the words of the Catechism
o He can use his position within
the home
 To seek his “own glory,
ease, profit, or
pleasure.”
o Every child begins life
 In awe of their parents
 And it is frighteningly easy
o To turn that
 Into a strict domination.

- But it’s not just

o Being domineering
 That can
 Result in anger, despair and resentment
o It can also its polar opposition of neglect.
 I know of one youth worker
 Who was having to deal with a child of
the church
o That was going off the rails,

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 And so had to meet

with the parents,
 And at that the meeting
o The father said
 “you know, this can’t be
my fault,
 I’m never
around.”
o An absentee father
 Can provoke their children to anger
 Just as much as a domineering father
can.
- The point is
o That it is easy
 For parents
 Fathers especially
o To relate to their children in
incredibly unhealthy ways.
- Even in the middle
o Even if we just discount those extremes,
 I know from experience,
 How easy it is
o To expect from our children
 Things we don’t expect
from ourselves.
o We demand from them self-control and respect,
 While at the same time
 Excusing our own lack of self-control
o And disrespect of others.
o We can demand from them discipline
 While excusing our own laziness.

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- There are a myriad of pitfalls here,

o But Paul, in v. 4, refocuses us
 And he says
 That the primary duty of the father
o Is to seek and pursue
 The glorification of God
in their lives.
- It is to seek and pursue
o His own glorification in their lives:
 His primary goal is not that people
 Praise him for his parenting,
o Or for how well behaved his
children are
 Or anything like that,
o His focus
 Is on the spiritual well-being
 Of his children,
o And so his driving motivation
 In how he relates to
them
 Is whether or
not
 They see and
savor Jesus.
o He raises them
 (to use the phrase from verse 1)
 “in the Lord”
o And they obey him
 “in the Lord.”
 It is a relationship
o That is defined by the Gospel,

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o That is tethered
 To a reverence
 First and
foremost
o For
Christ.

- And we see
o In that regard
 Many similarities
 With what Paul has just said
o To husbands
 Don’t we?

- What is the Christian husbands

o Driving motivation
 In how he relates to his wife?
 That she be sanctified
o Made holy,
o Made more spiritually beautiful.
o What it means
 For the husband
 To be the head of his wife
o Is that he submits himself
 To seeking her welfare.
- And what is the driving motivation
o For Christian parents
 Especially Christian fathers?
 That they seek the welfare of their
children.
 That they seek

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o To show them Jesus,

o To bring them up
 In a way that beholds
His beauty and his
perfections.
 And to see the
consequence of that
 For the way
that they live
their lives.
- The duty that is incumbent upon Christian fathers
o Is that they do
 Exactly what Paul is doing in this letter:
 That they teach them the Gospel,
 And the show them the implications of
that Gospel
o For how they see and interact
 With the world in which
they live.
 It is to seek
o That their children
 Live lives of worship.
 Giving glory to
God.
- And so in that sense
o The father here
 Is called to be the servant of his children.
 Out of reverence for Christ (v. 21)
o Doing all that he can
 To bring them to Christ.

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- And so, practically speaking,

o That means
 He leads family worship:
 Reading Scripture with his children,
o Praying with and for them,
o Singing with them (if they are
musical)
 Teaching them the
songs of the faith.
o It means
 That he leads them to Sunday School
 To be taught and fed Scripture,
o It means
 That he speaks with them
 About what they have learnt in
Children’s Church
o To help solidify what they have
been taught.
o It means
 Bringing them into worship.

- Notice
o Paul here
 Expects children to be present
 In the worship service
o In which this letter was to be
read.
- He doesn’t say
o Parents tell your children to obey you in the Lord
 For this is right,
o He addresses the children directly.

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- Sinclair Ferguson
o Commenting on that,
 Writes
 “Did he grasp something that we have
missed? When some churches complain
that they are ‘losing young people’ from
worship the truth is that they have
never actually been present at it.”
(Ferguson)
o Paul expects
 There to be children present
 With their parents
o In worship.
- Now, of course
o A child is not going to understand
 Everything that is said and done
 In a worship service,
o But the mere act of bringing them
 Says to them
 “This is where you belong, covenant
child,
o In the Assembly of the Saints.
 This is where you belong,
o Singing with generations of
Christians,
o Reading Scripture with your
brothers and sisters, fathers
and mothers in the faith.
 This is where you belong
o Studying Scripture

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 Listening for the voice

of God
 As His Word is read and
preached.”
- That is why
o We encourage parents
 To have their children
 With them in the service
o From third grade up.
o We know that they aren’t going to grasp everything.
 (I know that you all don’t grasp everything!)
 But it is important
o That we bring them in
 And have them sit with
us in the most
important moment of
our weeks,
 And that we do the hard work
 Of trying to build the bridges with them
o So that they can grasp what we
say and do,
 And that they might
truly join with us in
worship.

- Our children learn from our actions

o As well as our words,
 And so
 Parents, fathers
o It is part of our duty
 To help our children see

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 That there is nothing

more important or
exciting in life
 Than gathering
together as
God’s people in
worship.

II. What does it mean?

- What Paul is doing here
o Is bringing the doctrine
 Of the first half
 Of this letter
o Down land
 In the most intimate
relationships
 That we have.
- And what is saying here
o Is that when we grasp
 The beauty and wonder
 Of the Gospel
o By which we have been saved,
o Our paradigm
 For parenting is changed.
 Our primary goal
o Is to see
 The glorification of God
 In the lives of our
children.
 More than anything else

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o We desire to foster in them

 A view of the Lord
 That is not
centered on
themselves,
 But is centered
on Christ and
His glory.

----end----

Conc.

- Now,
o Just like with the marriage passage
 You may well be thinking
 How far you fallen short of this.
 I am.
 I feel the weight of this passage.
o I feel the conviction of my sin.
- But remember
o This instruction
 Is given in the context of grace.
 It is given
 As the logical progression
o That began in chs. 1 and 2
 In which we were
reminded of the lavish
grace

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 That is poured
out on us in
Christ.
- Maybe you have failed as a parent.
o (Maybe you haven’t, and we rejoice in that)
o But maybe you have.
 Maybe your failure has been spectacular,
 And maybe your failure
 Has been quieter
o But you feel it all the same.
- Confess your sin.
o Confess it to God.
 Confess it to your children,
 And seek their forgiveness.
o And
 Never stop starting.
 If your children are young,
 Then start now
o To pursue Gospel-driven
parenting.
 Start now
o To seek to intentionally raise
your children
 In the discipline and
instruction of the Lord.
 Start now
o To reexamine your words and
your actions,
o To reexamine your hopes and
dreams for your children.
 Start now

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o To pursue their holiness and

their growth in grace.
- But listen
o If your children are not young,
 If they have grown
 And are no longer in a position
o To listen to and learn from you
 Like this,
o Don’t stop
 Seeking their welfare.
 Pray for them,
 Speak with them
o As you have opportunity.
o But also realize
 That being part of the Church
 Means that you have the opportunity
o To help younger parents.
o To assist in the children’s
ministry
 Pointing those young
hearts to Christ,
 You have the opportunity
o To be a sounding board
 For those young people
in the trenches,
 To help them
learn from your
experience,
good and bad.
- Our goal
o In the Christian life

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 Is not to make ourselves look or feel good:

 That is idolatry.
o Our goal
 Is to glorify Christ,
 And to enjoy Him forever.
- Let’s pursue parenting
o In a way
 That seeks the glory of God in the lives of our
children.

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