Fighting Fire with Fire…or Not

Rev. Tamalyn Kralman

First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ)
Bellingham, WA
August 12, 2018

Scripture: 2 Samuel 18:5-9, 15, 31-33 (or vs. 5 - 33)

It was an exciting day for Daryl. He and the rest of his Boy Scout

troop were going to march in the town parade, along with the Girl Scouts,

Cub Scouts, Brownies, and every other group of kids around. And, not only

did Daryl get to march, he was the one chosen to carried the flag. It was a

great honor and he carried that flag proudly.

As he marched down the street, flag held high, suddenly a rock hit

Daryl’s face. And then another and another. Along with bottles and pop

cans. All sorts of flying missiles were headed his way.

Daryl’s first thought was that everyone was being hit and that people

didn’t like the Scouts, but he suddenly found himself surrounded by his den

mother and the other adult leaders of the troop. They swiftly ushered him to

safety and delivered him home, where his parents explained to him, for the

first time in his life, the concept of racism — because Daryl, unlike the other

children in the parade, was black.

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 Sometimes, we have terrible, traumatic experiences in our lives.

Things happen that cause fear or pain or confusion and we have to decide

how we’ll respond. When we’re kids, there’s not much deciding involved.

Our emotions are raw and our reactions are innate, coming from deep in

our souls. But, as we grow and mature, we learn to listen, engage, process,

both the outer information and our inner feelings. And we learn to control

our responses to outside stimuli in different ways.

Even as a child, young Daryl was beginning that process of listening,

analyzing, and considering his response.

Daryl was baffled and, to this day, he has had one question burning in

his mind: “How can people hate me when they don’t even know me?”

Hatred is one of those things that happens in life, whether we want it

or not. It enters our lives unbidden. It lurks. It grows. It pervades.

And, once anger and hatred are present, the need for violence is

never far away. People start seeing one another as less than worthy, less

than valuable members of family or community, less than children of God.

And that’s exactly what happened in today’s scripture — and everything

leading up to it.

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 2 Samuel tells a story of lust and murder, rape and murder, war and…

murder. Basically, it’s a long, violent story of angry people who sought

retribution against one another.

It started when David took Bathsheba and then had her husband

killed. And when David’s oldest son, Amnon, raped his sister, Tamar, and

David did nothing about it. And when Tamar went to her brother Absalom,

seeking safety and comfort, and she was silenced — because it was a

family matter. And Absalom’s anger grew — against both his brother and

his father. Absalom decided that if justice was to be done, if the kingdom

was to be ruled well, he would need to take matters into his own hands.

And, while this is a fascinating tale, it is also a tragic one, full of

victimization and grief, as anger grows and spreads.

You have seen with your own eyes, experienced in your own life, just

what happens when people are angry. You know what anger can do to a

family, a community, a nation, a world. You know that even the tiniest spark

of anger can grow into enormous flames that will not be doused, because

anger spreads like wildfire. Uncontrollable. Dangerous. Frightening.

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 We see it all around us: sparks of anger being ignited and fueled. We

see that violence is often the automatic response.

It’s not hard to understand why it happens. Anger is an emotion we

know. But, not everyone responds in the same way.

Little Daryl Davis grew up to be a blues musician with an interesting

hobby. For the past 30 years, that little boy who was the target of hatred in

a parade, that little boy who wondered how people could hate him, has

spent time befriending members of the Ku Klux Klan.1 He even attends

their rallies.

Daryl has said, “Ignorance breeds fear. We fear those things we do

not understand. If we do not keep that fear in check, that fear in turn will

breed hatred, because we hate those things that frighten us. If we do not

keep that hatred in check, that hatred, in turn, will breed destruction.”2

When today’s scripture begins, Absalom has been feeding on his

anger. He has had his brother Amnon murdered. He has been self-exiled

for a few years, living in his mother’s homeland, and then he has returned

to Jerusalem, ostensibly to make peace with his father.

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 But, there was no peace to be made. Because Absalom was still

plotting. He left Jerusalem, once again, this time with David’s blessing. And,

as he left, Absalom, whose name means “father of peace,”3 took along with

him thousands of David’s soldiers.

Thus began a civil war, father against son. With spies here and

traitors there, the warring factions were so caught up in their rage, all

integrity was lost. And the true victims were the innocents who got in their

way.

In the end, David did try to protect his son, but his efforts were in

vain. As Absalom rode through the forest, his long, beautiful hair, of which

he was so proud, was caught in a tree. Trapped there, hanging from the

branches, he was killed by David’s most trusted advisor, Joab, and his

men. It was an ignominious ending for a man with such glorious ambitions.

And, for David, this was no moment of triumph. There would be no

victorious celebrations. As he pondered the death, now of two sons, of all

that had happened to lead them to this point, his heart was devastated. It

has been suggested that David wrote several of the early Psalms (e.g. 2 -

4, 14, 22 - 24, 274), during this time, expressing his grief and need for

understanding and absolution.

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 We can look back at these ancient peoples and their stories and we

can see how they could have made different choices. We can look around

our own world and see how people can make life-sparing choices. But we

know, when someone’s bloodlust is up, it’s hard to back down.

No matter who you are, it’s hard to stare hatred in the face and exude

peace, meeting hatred with love. It’s hard, when we are surrounded by

violence, not to either freeze, flee, or fight.

Some of us are peacemakers, at heart and can stare anger in the

face and find the calm in our hearts and our minds and our voices. Some of

us can find the Jesus within our souls and let God’s love pour forth.

Some of us can befriend the very people who would burn crosses on

our lawns or throw rocks at our faces because of the color of our skin.

Secretary of Defense James Mattis recently said, "The biggest threat

to this nation is that we start showing less respect and friendliness towards

each other. I just hope we can find our way back to engaging with one

another, arguing strongly with one another, and then going down and

having a root beer together, and having a good laugh about it as we work

together for the best interests of the next generation of Americans who are

going to inherit this country.”

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 Daryl Davis, has been gifted the Klan robes of about 200 former

Klansmen, as they have been influenced by his gentle kindness and left

their ways of hate and violence. Daryl says this: “When two enemies are

talking, they’re not fighting. They’re talking. It’s when the talking ceases that

the ground becomes fertile for violence, so keep the conversation going.”

Since times of old, people have made wrong choices. They’ve been

unable or unwilling to just sit down and talk with one another. People have

long said that you should fight fire with fire. Even William Shakespeare

mentioned it in his play “The Life and Death of King John. The phrase

reminds us to meet violence with violence or take an eye for an eye. But,

as Gandhi reminded us, "An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole

world blind.” And, as our God reminds us, we are called to choose

differently.

The fires are burning all around us. It is entirely up to each of us to

decide: how will we fight them?

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1https://www.npr.org/2017/08/20/544861933/how-one-man-convinced-200-ku-klux-klan-
members-to-give-up-their-robes
2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORp3q1Oaezw
3 http://www.sheknows.com/baby-names/name/absalom
4 http://www.fbbc.com/messages/hyles_psalms.htm

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