Approach Anxiety & Opening

Where Approach Anxiety Comes from & Why It Exists:

• Humans used to live in small tribes where cold approach would be stupid.
• Humans now live in a huge tribe where NOT cold approaching would be stupid.
• Our biology hasn’t kept up!
• So, it’s normal to feel approach anxiety…and totally IRRATIONAL.
• Ironically, in some places, approach anxiety is still a good thing, like small social
circles.
• Cold approach is a CHEAT CODE!

Solutions to Approach Anxiety:

1. Physiological Solution (6:00)

• Physical Release (e.g. Shouting)

• Energy and Adrenaline (e.g. Crazy Dancing)
• Smile Therapy (e.g. Smile/Smirk/Wink Exercise)
• These all have the added benefit of being more embarrassing than anything
you’ll be doing in set
• Phenomenon of the shocked girl, or skipping up to set

2. Psychological Solution (14:40)

• Don’t want outcome independence… want helpful outcomes

• Change your criteria for success
• Reframe scared as EXCITED

3. Physical Solution (22:04)

• All you’re doing is walking over and uttering a sound

• You’re 100% free to leave after doing X physical action

4. Integrity Solution (24:20)

• Regret is 100x worse than anything girl could do in set

Choose the best solution(s) for you.

Opening:
(29:10)
 • Theory: Opening is one of the two places in game where you can’t be 100% high
value.
• Goal: Be DONE with the opener. Don’t linger on it.
o If given the gift of ANYTHING ELSE to talk about, drop the opener.
• My opener: “Hey ‘scuse me” and then react to whatever she gives me.

Advanced Opening:

1. Headphones and phone (much tougher) (34:34)

a. Approach as if you didn’t know
b. Gesture taking out headphones
c. Girl standing on phone hack: show her prepared notes on your phone
Example:
i. Text 1: Hey you’re quite cute, too bad you’re on your phone right
now
ii. Text 2: Hang up, I’m cuter
iii.Text 3: Wow, it’s really bad service here isn’t it
2. The False Time Constraint (39:40)
a. YOUR time constraint, not hers
b. Use strategically, not automatically
3. Waiting for your moment *advanced only*(42:25)
a. If beginner, just approach immediately
b. If advanced, assess situation quickly so improve odds on open
4. Dealing with hot girl blasé (47:00)
a. Act ENTITLED
b. High-value rambling
c. Poke and instigate
d. Practice exercise: Game the wall
5. Turning around a rejection: re-open in DIFFERENT ways (52:08)
6. Basic group theory (54:30)
a. Option 1: Open group, then pick target
b. Option 2: Talk to target, then engage group
c. Must engage group within first 20 seconds
d. Words that sex (VIDEO)—select girl based on QUALITY of attention, not
quantity
7. Opening mixed sets (56:39)
a. Approach 1: Guys are ugly girls
b. Approach 2: Battle mode
c. Approach 3: Accidental openers
d. KEY question for groups: How does everyone know each other (ask girl,
not guy)
8. PAIMAI and pre-opening: (1:00:43)
a. Bad concept but useful in select circumstances when hard to access girl
b. Eye contact and gestures pre-open
9. Merging and trading up: Beginners avoid, only good
to switch to hotter girl (1:04:35)
Exercises:
Beginner: Progressive desensitization
(1:07:25)

Mission: Find the level where you get nervous and complete all subsequent levels from
there.

Level 1: Walk around for an hour making eye contact with girls slightly longer than
normal
Level 2: Ask 10 girls for either directions or the time
Level 3: Ask random opinion
Level 4: Give compliment and leave OR ask opinion and then introduce yourself
Level 5: Give compliment and introduce yourself
Level 6: Normal approach but MUST ask for number at the end

Advanced: Different opener type

(1:11:05)

Mission: Do a different opening style than normal, specifically DIRECT or INDIRECT.

If you normally go direct, go INDIRECT:

Examples: Opinion, observational, etc. where no premise at start.
Why: Work on building premise during set and is higher percentage open
generally

If you normally go indirect, go DIRECT:

Why: Help with delivery because tonality, eye contact, body language must be
on point