The interpersonal communications

The meaning of communication in its general sense means sharing or requesting information. This
process may occur not only in humans but in animals or even plants. Interpersonal fits only to humans.
Inner communication means communication with yourself.

In any type of communication, we play a role. There is usually a sender and a receiver. The
communication that we encounter most often is between two people. You and someone else. This type
of communication is normally referred to as “Dyadic” (two person) communication, “Dyad” meaning
two things of similar kind or nature or group. Dyadic communication means the interrelationship
between the two, but in practice, this relationship refers to dialogic relations or face-to-face verbal
communication between two persons, involving their ideas, thoughts, behavior, liking and disliking, etc.

There are two types of dyadic communications:

 Formal Dyadic communication – (Interviews, confessions, counseling, etc.)

 Informal Dyadic communication – (chat between friends, family, teasing, flirting, etc.)

Types of communications

There are three main types of communications that are common these days (maybe someday we will
invent telepathy):

 Verbal – The sharing of information between individuals by using speech. Effective use of
verbal communication means employing readily understood spoken words, as well as
ensuring that the enunciation, stress and tone of voice with which the words are expressed
is appropriate.
 Non-Verbal – Behavior and elements of speech aside from the words themselves that
transmit meaning. (pitch, speed, tone, and volume of voice, gestures, facial expressions,
body posture, stance, eye movements, contact, appearance, etc.
 Online communication – The “online communication” definition today, refers to how people
as well as computers communicate with each other trough a computer network and the
internet.

Why do we communicate?

 Physical needs – health and survival

 Identity needs – ways we communicate shape our identities and how people perceive us
 Spiritual needs – communicate values, beliefs and spiritual practices with others
 Instrumental needs – communication helps us fulfil our practical and everyday needs
Core concepts of communication

 Source – the sender or the  Channel-lean context – when there

originator of the message, thought
or idea.
 Encoding – the source puts the
message, idea or thought into
symbols - words or actions.
 Message – the verbal or non-verbal
elements of communication that
we put meaning into.
 Channel-rich context - when there
is more than one pathway to
receive information (face to face
conversation).
is one or just a few pathways to
receive information.
 Channel – the pathway trough
which we convey a message
 Receiver – the party which decodes
or interprets the message
 Decoding – to interpret or give
meaning to a message
 Noise – anything that interferes
with decoding/encoding or
interpreting of the message
 Perceptual filters – the tendency to
filter incoming messages trough our
own beliefs, perceptions or biases.

Rules of communication

Explicit rules – clearly agreed upon rules of communication that are followed by both parties. (A
mother telling a child to not talk with a full mouth)

Implicit rules – rules of conversation or behavior may not have been articulated clearly, but are
understood nonetheless. (Respecting someone personal space, (In China it Is rude to stare someone in
the eyes)).

Characteristics of competent communicators

 Self-awareness / Self-monitoring – awareness of one’s behavior and how they might affect
others. People can be labeled as high self-monitors and low self-monitors.
 Adaptability – ability to adapt one’s communication to suit their circumstances.
 Empathy – the ability to think as feel the way others do. This is a feeling related
understanding of each other.
 Cognitive complexity – the ability to understand a given situation in multiple ways.
 A sense of Ethics – a set of moral ideals that guide one to understand right and wrong or
socially acceptable or socially unacceptable behaviors.

From this we can gather that most communication is relational (people who have a relationship) and/or
interdependent. (people who are somehow dependent on each other).
Relationships may be based on:

-Roles – Student, worker, parent, child, motivator, inspirer, aunt, uncle, friend, cousin etc.

-Personal roots – Morals, beliefs, religion, superstition etc.

-Social rules – communication etiquette (for example between student and teacher)

Messages:

 Impersonal messages a.k.a INTERDEPENDENT COMMUNICATION – waiter and customer,

taxi driver and passenger, doctor and patient. These sorts of messages are typically known
as “I-It communication”. It is when you interact with people within their social roles. Our
conversations then are impersonal and superficial.
 Personal messages a.k.a RELATIONAL COMMUNICATION – Highly personal such as
communication between friends, family members or lovers. This type of communication is
referred to as “I-You” communication. It accounts for most of our interactions. While
engaged in this type of communication you interact with another person as more than an
object.

Another sub-group of personal messages would be a “I-thou” communication. While engaging in

this type of communication we move beyond social roles and onto the uniqueness of the
person. It is most often engaged in by lovers, really good friends, siblings, parent and a child. In
this type of communication, we are more likely to disclose deeper aspects of ourselves.

Forms of interpersonal communication

 Synchronous – In synchronous communication multiple parties are participating at
the same time and wait for replies from each other. One way to visualize the concept of
synchronous communications is to imagine a real-time online chat session in which you
exchange messages with a live customer support specialist to get help for your broken
toaster oven.

 Asynchronous – non-real time, delayed communication. It occurs when that toaster

oven manufacturer doesn't offer real-time chat, forcing you instead to send an email
message to a company's tech support department. The recipient is neither expecting nor
waiting for an incoming message and therefore may not get to it right away.

Note: The amount of time that passes from sending the message and receiving it, doesn’t affect
whether or not the communication will be Synchronous or Asynchronous. A good analogy to internalize
the difference would be this:
Synchronous

When I call you on the phone, I dial your number and WAIT until you pick up. Then you say something,
and in the very same moment I listen to you. When you are finished, I send you data (talk to you) and in
the same moment you receive them (listen to me). At the end of our communication one of us says
"END OF TRANSMISSION" (Good Bye), the other says "Acknowledged" (Good Bye) and then we both
hand up.

Asynchronous

I write you a letter. I put it to the post office, and it will be sent to you. I the meantime I do NOT WAIT. I
do many different other things. Then you receive the letter. You read it while I still do many different
other things. Then you write me an answer and send it to me. In all those things I am not involved. At
the next day I get your answer. Then I pause my other work, receive your letter and read your answer.
Then I do something according to this answer. But these are things you will not notice, because you are
not involved in what I do with your asynchronous answer.