Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be
allowed.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Today we can see advertisement everywhere, and whether advertisements towards children
should by prohibited is widely discussed among people. Many people claims that advertisements
will mislead children, because young kids cannot distinguish television advertising and true
world. Thus, advertisements toward children should be banned. I hold the same view with them,
and I am going to use these following reasons and examples to support my statement.

First, young kids may easily be addicted to certain products on the advertisements such as video
games or junk food. Compare with adults, children usually lack the ability to control themselves.
If there are continuous ads bombing children mind for these kind of products, children would
easily be attracted by those images and get lost . Take my little brother as an example. At first his
grades are good in primary school, and he spent his spare time doing sports like football.
However, last semester he saw the series of ad of a video games, and he soon became addicted
to the game. Now he devoted all his free time to the game and never played football any more.
Moreover, since he always stay up late to play the game, he cannot focus on his study during the
day. TV ads could easily reach many children and replace their good habits by unhealthy lures.
（注意下时态，如果你写这样的 personal example, 写过去时的话就写出一个明确的时间点，
要不就用一般现在时， my brother was a straight-A student last year, and he spent most of his
spare time on doing sports, such as playing basketball）

Second, part of TV ads set up bad role models or can even be deceptive in order to sell more
products. For instance, today many children are overweight due to the over intake of trash food.
But in some food advertisements, children who eating large sums of trash food were still fit.
Some ad may even state that they were healthy by showing some actor children in good shape,
while actually the product are harmful to their health. If children believe whatever the ads claim
and eat junk food without limits, their health may be seriously influenced. 这一段不是完整的
RGB 结构

Admittedly, a minority of people may disagree with my point and states advertising towards
children are not totally bad. It is true that some TV ads may be honest and some children's
products could have good effects, but these are modest in the tremendous products. As I know,
most of companies will try to maximize their profits by using all methods they come up with,
without considering the effect on children are good or not.

Since TV is so accessible to children, they are very prone to be influenced. I agree that TV ads
toward children should be banned because of two main reasons: children are more likely to get
lost in front of lures, and ads often include amount of deceptive information. The parents should
be the ones to distinguish and choose for their children, and help kids to have their own
judgement,

建议：
这篇文章 我大概给 24-26 分之间的样子，我认为阻碍你继续得更高的分数的原因就是语言
上小错误太多了。而且有的错误还非常严重，比如 without 后面加短语你加了一个句子。整
体的结构也不错。你写文章的时候需要有意识的去想一点问题，随时都要放在脑子里，比
如：
1.我的句子是不是只有一个动词；
2.我句子里面如果用了代词，是否指代明确；
3.我用的时态是否一致，如果用了过去时，是否写出了明确的过去的时间点
4.我的 body paragraph 的 RGB 结构是否完整