My journey through nursing school started sophomore year with Foundations of Nursing Scholarship

and Professional Nursing Concepts. Having worked in another profession for 15 years, I was both excited to
be making such a major life change and nervous to be so far out of my element. As I progressed through the
semester, I felt affirmed in my decision to pursue nursing. While studying Jean Watson and other nursing
theorists, I learned that caring and empathy were skills that would be valued in the profession and that my
experiences in the hospital with my daughter and the nurses that took care of her in fact had a name – “caring
moments.”
In the second semester of my sophomore year I began studying Health Assessment and Nursing
Competencies. In hindsight, I can say that my early experiences in Competencies highlighted what I now
recognize as my inherent strengths and weaknesses related to nursing. On my first night of clinical, I was
paired with another student who was terrified to talk to patients. Our assignment was to check vital signs and
blood sugars while growing our confidence in entering patient rooms and interacting with patients. I eagerly
engaged with patients and the interactions were easy. As I progressed through Competencies I and then
Competencies II, the patient interactions, the “caring moments,” continued to be my strength.
Simultaneously, my weaknesses were emerging and unfortunately, they were related to the technical skills of
nursing. My Competencies partner, who could not talk to patients, was mastering IV pumps and catheters
while I fumbled to remember which part of which tube goes where. My first doubts about choosing nursing
started to surface. Was I in over my head?
During my junior year, I studied and studied and studied for ANS and Pathopharmacology. The stress
of studying for those exams at times put me into a raw emotional state where self-doubt raged. In ANS
clinicals, I was learning a lot about inpatient med-surg nursing. The strengths and weaknesses that had
surfaced in Competencies continued to define my clinical experiences. I struggled with the technical skills and
excelled with the people skills. But unlike my time in Competencies, I didn’t experience as much self-doubt
about choosing nursing. I began to realize that for me to master a task, it has to be relevant and I have to do it
repeatedly. For example, one demonstration of how to program the new IV pumps would never be enough
for me. It would not be until I was working and needing to program pumps every day that I would be
proficient.
In the second semester of my junior year, in addition to ANS and Pathopharmacology, I took Mental
Health and Professional Role Development. Interestingly, it was these two classes that helped me clarify how I
was to fit into the nursing profession. First, I have always had an interest in psychiatric nursing and mental
health issues. However, studying the topic formally reignited my interest. I enjoyed my Mental Health class
though I was less excited by the clinical experiences. However, I did start to see that my strengths, and my
ability to engage with people of all backgrounds and from all walks of life, were much more important in the
mental health arena than my self-identified weaknesses related to technical skills. Also, for an assignment in
Professional Role Development I attended a professional meeting and had the opportunity to hear an expert
speak on the latest developments in the treatment of mental illness. As these experiences converged, I
decided that I was likely going to pursue being a psych nurse.
I did not want to commit to psych, however, until after I took Peds and Women’s Health in the first
semester of my senior year. I had always held out those two specialties as potential areas of interest and I
entered the semester eager to begin my clinicals. I ended the semester with a firm decision not to pursue
Peds or Women’s Health. Meanwhile, I also was taking Research and Metaphysical Nursing. Perhaps dreaded
by my peers, I found the content of these two classes to be quite interesting. I found myself reading extra
journal articles just because the content was interesting. I felt like I had returned to my comfort zone where I
knew I was capable since my previous jobs had involved research and writing and because I had already
informally studied complementary and alternatively medicine.
In Senior 2, my current and final semester of nursing school, I have benefitted tremendously from my
clinical immersion experience. My immersion is in the Emergency Department and I have had the opportunity
to learn a lot more than in my previous clinical experiences. In previous clinicals, I would be assigned to one or
two patients and the staff nurses would be unpredictable in their eagerness or willingness to teach students.
In the ED we have a high volume of patients so I am having a much more varied and interesting experience.
Also, my preceptor rotates among roles, working in the zones, triage, fast track, etc. For example, during my
last shift, my preceptor was assigned to triage and we triaged at least 70 patients that day. On another shift,
my preceptor was assigned to the Crisis Treatment Center where we spent most of the shift working with two
patients with mental health issues. Another factor that has impacted my learning this semester is my
preceptor, who is very committed to teaching and helping me build my confidence and competence.
Additionally, the ED techs are good teachers who gladly show me (time and again) how to do an EKG, etc.
Nursing school has been an arduous journey that has prepared me to enter the nursing profession as a
novice or even an advanced beginner. There were days when I did not think I would make it or where my
perseverance petered out and I was ready to accept my fate and repeat a class. Somehow, I did make it and I
managed to stay an A/B student. Living on the brink of failure for so long, whether it was one exam, one class,
one semester, real or imagined, has been my greatest stressor over the past three years. In my previous life I
never struggled academically or professionally so learning to live with self-doubt and uncertainty has been a
challenge. However, I know that once I am in a specialty area, my feelings of self-doubt will subside and I will
be able to move along the spectrum of novice to expert.