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20 SIMPLE & REVOLUTIONARY WAYS TO MOTHER *AVAILABLE NOW*

YOURSELF THIS MOTHER’S DAY May 5, 2016
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“You have to +nd a Mother inside yourself. We all do. Even if we already have a mother, we still have to +nd this
part of ourselves inside.” ~Sue Monk Kidd

BLOG CATEGORIES:
Beloved Nest Builders, I know Mother’s Day can be a very tender day for many of us. It evokes
some of our greatest joys, as well as some of our greatest heartaches.  Regardless of the :: Beloved Woman :: (17)
relationships we do or do not have with our own mothers, we can use this holiday as an :: Circle & Ceremony :: (10)
opportunity to recommit to mothering ourselves  in the most authentic, powerful, nourishing,
:: Feathering the Nest :: (36)
unconditionally loving, and speciHc-to-us ways possible.
:: Legacy :: (21)

“
:: Mothering :: (40)

“If you are a woman who is consciously mothering yourself, celebrate and aKrm :: Our Daughters :: (36)
how your own inner mothering will liberate your children from the pain of the :: Rites of Passage :: (6)
mother wound. You are stopping the cycle, taking responsiblity, metabolizing your :: The Hero's Heart :: (1)
own pain and clearing the way for future generations. This takes incredible
:: The Heroines Club :: (15)
courage and fortitude. Celebrate your commitment to this journey!”  Bethany
Webster, Womb of Light Uncategorized (37)

Here are twenty ideas to get us started:

1. Speak kindly to yourself.  Peggy O’mara, Mothering Magazine founder, once said “The way we
talk to our children becomes their inner voice.”  What inner voice do you hear throughout your day?
 Is it really yours?  Becoming aware of negative self-talk and replacing it with kind & positive
aKrmations may feel artiHcial at Hrst, but over time you will discover a new way of communicating
with yourself that feels natural.

2. Forgive yourself.  We are all on a path of growth, and often times it is our mistakes and failures
that teach us the most.  You can’t always prevent failure, but you can always forgive yourself for
failing. Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself that acknowledges you are human.

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3.Laugh daily.  Laughter is powerful medicine!  Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring
your mind and body back into balance than a true laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires
hope, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert. Laughter is your
birthright. Seek it.  Seize it.  Every day.

4. Touch yourself. ScientiHc studies continue to conHrm that touch is essential to overall health
and well-being. You don’t have to be in a relationship to fulHll your need for touch. As you bathe
your body or hair, as you apply lotion or sunscreen, be fully present with that act of motherly touch.

5. Nurture your inner world. Set aside time each day for whatever it is that nurtures your inner
world- journaling, praying, meditating, simply lying down and following your breath, etc.  Take time
daily to get in touch with your soul and ask her what she needs.

6. Design your day with conscious intention and put yourself on the list.

7. Step away from the screen.  Every now and then, I have to turn off the tv or the ipad and send
my children outside. We all need limits around screen time.  Too much screen time means less
active time, less personal socializing, less time moving your body, less time being “bored”, less
time daydreaming, less focus on the present, less time for cooking healthy foods, less time reading
novels, painting, making music, making time for the ones you love. It may be helpful to track the
amount of time you are spending on screens and social media over the course of a week.  Notice
how you feel before, during and after engaging with screens.  Are there some changes that need to
be made?  Some motherly limits that need to be set?

 8. Love your body.I remember when my daughter was about 6 months old, all full of rolls and
dimples and smiles.  I marveled at how she enjoyed her body, and expressed the pleasure she
experienced in it freely.  She was completely in love with her body and accepted it just as it was.  I
see that belief in her still today and one of my greatest prayers is that I can protect her from losing
that love for her body. Watch how children move in their bodies; this is where we want to get back
to.  Love your body.  Use your body.  Marvel at it.  Enjoy it.  And accept it- just the way it is- today.

9. Avoid the comparison trap.  Just as mothers strive not to compare their children to other
children, strive not to compare yourself to other women.  Research has found that comparing
yourself to others breeds feelings of envy, low self-conHdence, and depression.  Even comparing
yourself to someone less fortunate comes at a high price because it requires that we take pleasure
in someone else’s failures or misfortunes, which is not our soul’s natural state of being.    We know
there is enough–more than enough–for us all.

10. Practice gratitude. We know intuitively that we feel better when we are in the “thankful” space,
and science agrees: women who regularly acknowledge the good in their lives have stronger
relationships, improved health, reduced stress, and are in general, happier.  Authentic gratitude is a
gift we give ourselves and it is the biggest medicine we have.

11. Take that sick day. It can be challenging to take a sick day for yourself, especially if you have a
dwindling bank of days that you feel you must save for your children’s illnesses.  But as we are
learning, we are also mothering ourselves as well, and our inner girl self deserves to be cared for
when she is sick.  Call in.  Cuddle down.  And get to feeling better.

12. Listen and obey your own body signals.  Our bodies tell us what they need.  We honor them by
responding. Are you in the habit of waiting until the last second to go to the restroom, continuously
trying to get one more thing done Hrst?  Try putting your body Hrst and see what happens.  Eat
when hungry.  Rest when tired. Drink when thirsty.  Listen to your body and it will reward you with
feeling great.

13. Do what makes you happy.  Get out a piece of paper and a pen.  Brainstorm a list of activities
that bring you true joy.  Think of as many as you can.  They can be as simple as lying in a hammock
or riding a bike, or as elaborate as planning and taking a vacation.  After you’ve written your list,
place it somewhere you will see it often and try to incorporate those activities into your life on a
regular basis.

14. Feed yourself with love.  Your body knows what fuel she needs to feel good and perform at her
highest capacity.  In the same way that we consciously prepare nourishing and nutritious meals for
our children, we can extend that love to ourselves.  The concept of enjoying food may seem foreign
to you, especially if you have a history of dieting (or say grew up in the last 100 years or so). Eating
what you want, when you are hungry, and stopping when you are full, is one of the greatest acts of

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love we can offer ourselves.  A great book to support this concept is   Intuitive Eating:  A
Revolutionary Approach that Works,  By Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resche. This is big work for women,
collectively.  Changing our deeply ingrained thinking around food, body, and self-worth will take
time and intention- but it is so worth it.  You are so worth it.

15. Say YES…

16. and say NO…Have you ever said “yes” when you really wanted to say “no”? Or “no” when you
really wanted to say “yes”? We can determine how we spend our time here on this planet by
deciding what is the most authentic choice in each moment. The next time you are extended an
invitation, or requested a favor, ask yourself these three questions: Am I willing to do this? Am I
able to do this? Do I want to do this? You absolutely have the right to say “yes” or “no” or “I don’t
know yet” without giving a litany of reasons why.  As loving mothers to ourselves, we are letting go
of the fear-based notion that we have to say yes to everything in order to be liked, loved, proHtable,
charitable, kind.  More “no” can actually help us be more generous with our “yeses.”

17. Make (and then keep) your appointments.  You know the ones- doctor, dentist, gynecologist,
hair…often times we are on top of this practical care for our children, but put ourselves off for a
variety of reasons. Make your care a priority. What appointments have you been putting off?  Make
them.  And then keep them.

18. Let go of what no longer serves you.  It’s a universal law that you have to clear space for
newness to enter…let something die for something new to be born…cleanse to heal…let go to
receive.  Just like we clear our lungs to take in new air, we need to empty our minds of dull ideas to
create brighter, truer lives.  What limiting ideas, behaviors, relationships, beliefs, stories, or even
material possessions are you holding on to that no longer serve you? In the wise words of Idina
Menzel, “Let it Go!”

19. Nurture your support circle.  Relationships are the key to a rich and full life.  Who are the
people who truly offer you support and love?  These are the relationships to nurture, cultivate, and
make a priority.

20. Tell yourself the truth.  This is a big one.  Telling the truth, especially to ourselves, can be hard.
 But it will set us free.  What is your truth, dear woman?  What is that thing, that issue, that you have
been sweeping under the rug? Beloved, it is time to pull it out, take a good look at it, and let the
healing begin.

We are in this together.

Love,

Melia
P.S. The good news is you don’t have to go it alone.  Come land in the Nest with us.

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Filed Under: :: Beloved Woman ::, :: Feathering the Nest ::, :: Legacy ::, :: Mothering ::, 2 Comments
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COMMENTS

3 of 5 5/9/17, 2:45 PM
20 Simple & Revolutionary Ways to Mother Yourself This M... https://themotherdaughternest.com/20-simple-revolutionary-...

Ludmila Krajcovicova says

May 7, 2016 at 9:03 am

Thank you

Reply

Maria says
May 8, 2016 at 1:37 pm

It is so good to read these words….Thank you

Reply

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