Connie Brequel Sept 25, 2018 FHS 2450 Human Sexuality: U2 E2: Is It

Burbank Love?

Question:
Having read the different theories about love which attempt to define this emotion, how would
you define it? Do you think there is value in these theories or do they simply attempt to make the
idea of love too clinical or intellectual and therefore take away the enjoyment and spontaneity?
Answer: Word Count: 505
Love is a very complex idea. That idea can change for a single person all throughout their

life. When talking about love it is important to realize that love is diverse. It is interchangeable,

and ¨people have different conceptions of love, identify different elements associated with love,

and categorize love as representing different styles¨ (Knox & Milstein, 2017, p.134). This leads

me to ask the question, Are these theories real? Do they correlate to real life relationships and

love? Personally, for me love is ongoing. Love is a mindset. Our minds are miraculous things

and there is so much of the human mind that is unknown to us still. I believe that our mind can

be set on hate or love. Some individuals can have both love and hate in their mind, which can

lead to jealousy, cheating, and even dominance in a relationship. When a love is strong and real

there is only good in that relationship. Respect, equality, compassion and understanding. Love is

completely self-less.

The theories that were mentioned were homogamy, complementary needs, and exchange

theory. All are which very interesting theories. Homogamy theory is defined as tending to be

attracted to another person who is like us in characteristic attributes like age, race, religion (Knox

et al., 2017). Complementary needs theory states that, ¨individuals tend to select a mate whose

needs are opposite or complementary to their own needs¨ (Knox et al., 2017, p.150). The last

theory is exchange theory, it says that people selecting a partner with the greatest reward at little

or no cost to them (Knox et al., 2017). These theories do make sense in the sight that some
people are looking for a certain type of love based on these points, but I don’t think these are

including for all persons.

Like I said before it is too complex and answering the question I think they take away the

excitement and enjoyment of the process of love. It is individualized by each person that

experiences it. It can change through your life with different experiences but always come back

to the basics of love that it is one of the most powerful emotions. Even though I think this, I also

think that there is value in them. These theories give category to the idea that love, even

complex, can be connected through people. That we can understand it on a greater level, and

other people will be like ¨yeah, I know what you are talking about¨. It's also important to know

that people do tend to be interested in people who may look like them or are even opposite to

them. That on its own can better explain a person and their capacity to love in a sense. I know

that my perspective on love is completely my own. I have been in different life experiences to

make it individualized that maybe someone else has never experienced and it is important to

know that it is also relevant for all other people on the idea of love.

Reference:
Knox, D., & Milstein, S. (2017). Human Sexuality: Making Informed Decisions (5th ed.) [with
Salt Lake Community College supplement]. Redding, CA: BVT Publishing.