Writing ANGST

One way to add excitement to your story is by adding lots of bad-guys, also known as EXTERNAL Conflict.
Another way is by adding INTERNAL Conflict, more commonly known as Angst.

I'm sure most of you have noticed by now that most movie characters, and far too many book
characters, are One-Dimensional. They do stuff, but they don't face any personality issues: a hang-up, a
fear, paranoia, a moral code, a love interest, a strong dislike… Or worse, they do have all these things, but
they never really affect the story.

There's a Plot Arc, things happen, but no Character Arc. The things that happen don't affect the
characters emotionally.

Where's the ANGST?

Answer these two questions:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. What is your character's biggest character flaw?

(Think: 7 Deadly Sins.)

• Apathy/Passive-aggression (Sloth)

• Addiction (Lust)

• Obsession (Greed)

• Resentment (Envy)

• Hate/Revenge (Wrath)

• Avarice (Gluttony)

• Arrogance (Pride)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2. What is the worst possible thing that could happen to them in the story?

Add the answers to these two questions together and voila…! Instant Angst.
"When should one introduce the personality flaw that leads to the Angst?"

-- Chapter One is good, HOWEVER…!

~ CAUTION ONE! ~

Don't toss in a personality issue you don't intend to use!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rule of Mystery Fiction states:

-- "If the gun is shown in Chapter One, it better go off by Chapter Three -- and there had better be a
damned good reason that gun was there in the first place."

The Rule of Erotic Fiction:

-- "If the Kiss is shown in Chapter One, the Sex better happen by chapter three -- and there had better be
a damned good reason that Kiss happened in the first place."

These rules should apply in ANYTHING you put in a story. No matter what it is, if you have it in the story,
you better have a use for it fairly quickly, and that use had better turn the plot. If it DOESN'T affect the
plot in some way, shape or form, you've just made a PLOT HOLE, and I guarantee that someone will not
only see it, they'll call you on it. It could be a fan who writes you a concerned letter, "Whatever
happened with…?" or worse, a Reviewer read by thousands.

This includes Emotional Conflict.

The Rule of CHARACTER DRIVEN Fiction:

-- "If the Personality Flaw is shown in Chapter One, the first Emotional Crisis better happen by Chapter
Three -- and there had better be a damned good reason that Personality Flaw was there in the first
place."

~ CAUTION TWO! ~

The fastest way to write a story that you won't be able to finish, is by writing about an emotional issue
you don't know how to FIX!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

When your main character has a personal hang-up, it not only needs to be addressed, it needs to be
SOLVED. Only the Villain can get away with an unsolved personal hang-up. In fact, this unsolved personal
issue is WHY the Villain traditionally LOSES to the Hero. It's as simple as, the Hero adapts, the Villain
does not, giving the Hero an advantage the Villain literally cannot deal with.

Making ANGST Happen:

Character Arc = The Stages of Grief

Denial – Anger – Negotiation - Despair – Acceptance

Why Grief?

-- The best stories are all about Personal CHANGE, about Adapting to and Overcoming physical AND
emotional circumstances that should take them down. This is where dramatic tension is generated. Think
about how hard it is for YOU to change your mind about liking or disliking anyone. What would it take to
change your mind? That's the level of suffering - of Angst - your characters need.

What causes ANGST?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Breaks out the text-book…) Angst is caused by a change of circumstance that produces a feeling of loss.
This triggers the reaction of grief. The intensity of the grief depends on the importance of loss. If the loss
is perceived as minor, then the moment of grief will be minimal and barely felt. However, unresolved and
severe loss can lead to mental, physical, and sociological problems.

Cool huh?

And everyone deals with one form of angst or another on a daily basis.

Example: The Dead Battery

~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- You're on your way to work. You go out to your car, put the key in the ignition and turn it on. You hear
nothing but a grind; the battery is dead. Think about how you typically react: What's the first thing you
do?

DENIAL – "Oh no! No! No! No! Not the battery!" You try to start it again. And again. You check to make
sure that everything that could be draining the battery is off: radio, heater, lights, etc., and then try it
again. And again…
ANGER - "Screw you, you stupid car! I should have junked you years ago." Perhaps you slam your hand
on the steering wheel? "I should just leave you out in the rain and let you rust!"

NEGOTIATION - "Oh please car, if you will just start one more time I promise I'll buy you a brand new
battery, get a tune up, new tires, belts and hoses, and keep you in perfect working condition…"

DESPAIR - "It won't start. I give up. What's the use?"

ACCEPTANCE - "Okay, it's dead. I had better go call a friend and see if they can get me to work."

USING the Stages of Grief for the Character Arc

PLOT ARC is what happens to the characters.

CHARACTER ARC is how the Characters react Emotionally to those events.

If you are writing a Short story, the Character Arc (the Stages of Grief) can be used as an outline for your
entire story.

Stage One: Denial

Stage Two: Anger

Stage Three: Negotiation (Sacrifice)

Stage Four: Despair

Stage Five: Acceptance

However, if you intend to write a full length novel, you may want to ADD a Plot Arc too.

Plot Arc
~~~~~~~~~~~~

0 - Introduction

1 - Inciting event

2 - Defiance

3 - Reversal <-- The worst possible thing that could happen.

4 - Crisis

5 - Ordeal

6 - Confrontation

0 - Consequences

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Character Arc + Plot Arc

~~~~~~~~~~~~

0 - Introduction

1 - Denial - Inciting event

2 - Anger - Defiance

3 - Negotiation - Reversal

4 – Despair - Crisis

5 - Sacrifice - Ordeal

6 - Acceptance - Confrontation

0 - Consequences

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looks a little different, and a little more complicated, doesn't it? That's because a new stage has been
added the Stages of Grief: Sacrifice.
Sacrifice is the one thing your character does not want to do. It's the moment they face their worst fear,
or their biggest hang-up and make a choice they cannot take back: Go on, Give up, or Give in? Fight,
Flight, or Forfeit.

Consider the following diagram a Cheat Sheet!

The Plot Arc & the Character Arc

In ACTION!

The movie, 'SECRETARY'

The Hero & Heroine's (Semi/Uke) Mirrored Issue:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Both characters feel that PAIN = LOVE, however, they both express this in opposite fashions.

• She uses Physical Pain on HERSELF to relieve her Emotional Pain by 'cutting.'

• He uses Physical Pain on OTHERS to relieve his Emotional Pain through disciplinary actions.

Plot arc

# - Character Arc

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Introduction

0 – Talented & Troubled

Boy meets Girl – Mirrored Issues trigger Emotional Conflict

~~~~~~~~~~~~

• A wonderful typist, but otherwise clueless, girl becomes a secretary for a dominating, but soft-hearted,
lawyer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inciting Event

1 - Denial – Instigation

Response to Emotional Conflict exposes Issues.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Her desire to please him drives her to cut her clothing.

• He sees this and recognizes her "self-punishment." He demands that she stop her self-destructive
behavior.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Defiance

2 - Anger – Provoked

Issues instigate a Dilemma prompting a Fight/Flight response

~~~~~~~~~~~~

• She goes on a date and is seen by her Lawyer.

• The lawyer's emotional conflict (his growing feelings for her,) drives him to begin disciplining her at
work. He spanks her for a typing mistake.

• The secretary discovers that his spanking brings her an emotional release and an emotional connection
to her lawyer. She begins to encourage his discipline by making more mistakes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reversal

3 - Negotiation – Intolerable Surrender or Unacceptable Rescue

Conditional compliance to resolve Dilemma

~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Despite the fact that his secretary is blooming right before his eyes, the lawyer sees his behavior as
being destructive. He decides that he is wrong in his discipline and stops.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crisis

4 – Despair - Reversal (Worst Case Scenario)

Disaster strikes bringing Emotional Consequences - Issues Surface

~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Desperate to get her lawyer to discipline her, and give her the emotional connection she craves, she
mails him a worm. (He truly hates bugs.)

• The lawyer discovers that he cannot stop disciplining her, (she won't let him,) and fires her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ordeal

5 - Sacrifice – Forfeit & Surrender

Desperation forces confrontation of Issues & Emotional Conflict

~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Her boyfriend proposes marriage.

• Out of guilt over HIS feelings for her, and pain at losing her lawyer, she agrees. In her wedding dress,
she realizes that she does not love her boyfriend, she loves her lawyer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Confrontation

6 - Acceptance - Bitter-sweet Revelation & Talents Reborn

Acceptance of Issues presents solution to Crisis.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

• In her wedding dress, she confronts her lawyer. She demands that he love her.

• He insists that what he's doing is wrong.

• She insists that it's not – that it's just a different kind of love. They belong together.

• He demands that she sit at his desk – with her hands flat on the surface -- until he comes for her. (It's a
test.) He doesn't believe that she could possibly love him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Resolution

0 – A Promise Kept

Emotional Conflict resolved - Relationship secured

~~~~~~~~~~~~

• She sits at his desk for days, dealing with family and friends about her personal choices concerning
who she loves, and why.

• The lawyer has been monitoring her progress the entire time and realizes that she does love him, just
as he is and for what he is. He comes for her.

• Happily ever after – for them.

STUCK on a Short Story?

10 Second Tip:

Stuck on a SHORT Story?

Stuck on what to put in your story?

-- This is the list of things I check off when I create a story:

Do you have a Setting in mind?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Sci-fi

- Historical

- Modern day

- Fantasy

Do you have ONE big main event for the story to focus on?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- A battle

- An escape

- A love scene

- An act of revenge

- A sacrifice

- A treasure to claim

- A magic spell

- A transformation
Do you know what you want to SAY with your story?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Love sucks.

- Friendship is forever.

- No good deed goes unpunished.

- A snake can only ever be a snake.

- Sometimes you have to take chances.

- Magic makes things worse, not better.

Do you know where you want to END your story?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- A wedding?

- A funeral?

- A bloody battlefield?

- An empty street?

- The bottom of an ocean?

Do you have your three central characters ready?

-- Just to make things interesting, any one of these three could be the Hero, the Villain, or the Ally.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- A main character that personifies what your story is trying to say?

- A main character that personifies an opposing opinion of the same topic?

- A buddy / friend/ love interest of one or both to personify Joe Normal stuck in the Middle?
Why did I mention Characters last?

-- Instead of making a story for my characters, I do the opposite. I make characters for my story.

Some people can come up with a cool character and then build a story around them. Sadly, I am not one
of those. I can build a back-story just fine, but my back-stories are never good enough to be the Main
Story. A back-story is how a character GOT his Issues. The main story is how they FIXED those Issues. See
the difference?

Anyway...

-- When I'm stuck on a story, I try thinking on these questions and often, they'll jog something loose.

Essentials of a Short Story

Essentials of a Short Story

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quotes raped from a critique of Nathanial Hawthorn's Twice Told Tales by

Edgar Allen Poe - 1837

Edgar Allen Poe, celebrated as one of the finest short fiction writers of all time, was also a literary critic.
These are bits of his wisdom on writing short stories, gleaned from one of his critiques.

"The true critic will but demand that that the (story's) design intended be accomplished, to the fullest
extent, by the means most advantageously applicable…" -- Poe

Poe's Prerequisites -- in a Nutshell:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To deliver fullest satisfaction, a short story should be structured:

1) To be read in one sitting.

2) Using a deliberate number of characters and incidents.

3) With words restrained in style and tone.

4) All done that should be done, with nothing done which should not be.

Poe's Prerequisites -- in DETAIL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A short story should be structured:

1) To be read in one sitting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Were we bidden to say how the highest genius (of the short story) could be most advantageously
employed for the best display of (the short story's) own powers, we should answer, without hesitation-
in the composition of a rhymed poem, not to exceed in length what might be perused in an hour." – Poe

Translation:

-- How much can YOU read in an hour or two? THAT'S how long a short story should be.

According to most publishers, this means no more than 15k, (15,000 words) or 60 NY publishing
formatted pages. (60 pages at 12 point courier font, on an 8.5" by 11" page with 1" margins, are counted
as 250 words per page, regardless of actual word count.)

20k, or 80 NY publishing formatted pages, is considered a Novella. Magazine publishers tend to look for
5k stories, (5,000 words) or 20 NY publishing formatted pages.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2) Using a deliberate number of characters and incidents.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"A skillful literary artist has constructed a tale. If wise, he has not fashioned his thoughts to
accommodate his incidents; but having conceived, with deliberate care, a certain unique or single effect
to be wrought out, he then invents such incidents- he then combines such events as may best aid him in
establishing this preconceived effect. If his very initial sentence tends not to the out-bringing of this
effect, then he has failed in his first step." – Poe

Translation:
-- Plot with a Purpose in mind, a Premise, and write your story to carry out that purpose, and only that
purpose.

If you're writing a novel you can add other 'purposes', but when you're writing a short story you don't
have the room for more than one.

"What do you mean by…purpose?"

-- Very simply…

What are you SAYING with your story? What are you trying to Show or Prove?

• The reality of Love? – Romeo & Juliet

• The pain of Jealousy? – Othello

• The results of Revenge? – Hamlet

• The path of Ambition? - Julius Caesar

Plotting is essential in all forms of fiction for cohesion. Plotting ensures that your story has all the
important bits that make a story, a STORY, such as: a beginning, a middle, and an end. It keeps you from
missing something vital – or putting something in that does not belong.

Side-tracked by a really cool subplot?

-- Does it fit with the theme of what you are trying to accomplish?

•If it does – GREAT! Is there enough room for it? (What kind of word-count limit are you dealing with?)

•If it doesn't – GREAT! You have the makings of a whole new story! (Chop it out and make a whole new
document file just for it.)

However, Plotting does NOT have to be a chapter by chapter outline; it can be a short list of just the
important bits:
A Plot Arc

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Introduction

Early trouble, revealing the character's talents and setting.

-- Boy meets Girl, (Adversary meets Proponent…)

Rising Action

Increasing tension - crisis after crisis

-- One succeeds in seducing/defeating the other.

Climax / Reversal

Point of highest tension & the story's turning point.

-- Something happens that REALLY pisses one of them off such as misunderstandings, rivals, bad-guys in
general…

Falling Action

All plot threads unravel leaving only one solution.

-- Motives & all other angsty secrets are uncovered, revealing the REAL problem.

Confrontation

Final choice, ending in hope or ruin

-- Confessions, fights, forced seductions, and begging for forgiveness…

Denouement

Resolution
-- Happily ever after…?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3) Using words restrained in style and tone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The author who aims at the purely beautiful in a prose tale is laboring at great disadvantage. For Beauty
can be better treated in the poem. Not so with terror, or passion, or horror, or a multitude of such other
points." – Poe

Translation:

-- Hunks of sweeping, emotionally blissed-out, text is generally SKIPPED in favor of: "What happens
next?" The only place for fancy words is in Description.

Why? Because in this day and age, the average book-store browsing Reader (or the fan-fiction reader,)
does not have the patience to read fancy prose.

Think I'm kidding? In this very article, how many of you have been skipping over Poe's literary-heavy
quotes to get to the Translations? (Rhetorical Question! You are not expected to answer!)

Seriously, no matter what genre you write, the average Buying Reader reads with a TV-Watcher's
attention span (about the same as a 12-year old). Unlike Poe's readers, ALL of your readers grew up
watching TV. Because of this, they're used to their stories being action packed, directly to the point, and
SHORT.

How short?

-- How long is a TV program? Sit-coms are half an hour. Actual programs are an hour - two at the most.
How much can YOU read in that amount of time? That's how short. Your story has to fit into a TV-
program slot -- and compete with the next program they plan to watch.
As a rule, only the college-heavy teacher-types read literary prose for pleasure. Everybody else (the
BUYING public) reads pulp fiction.

DESCRIPTION is a MUST in Modern Fiction!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Our modern-day, TV-addict readers are trained (by their TV-watching,) to be VISUALLY stimulated.
These readers PICTURE their stories as they read them, and expect enough description to be able to
make those mind-pictures crystal clear – AND emotionally visceral.

They not only want to SEE it, they want to FEEL it too -- but they don't have much of an attention span,
so every word must count!

Description should be trimmed down to:

• Distinct nouns rather than vague nouns - Toyota instead of car.

• 1 Adjective per Distinct Noun – The red Toyota

• 2 Adjectives per Sensation – smell, taste, texture, sound, view – "I stared with horror at the
dilapidated, red Toyota."

• 2 Adjectives per Emotion – anger, lust, love, joy, misery – "The bitter ache in my weary heart…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4) All done that should be done --With nothing done which should not be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"In the whole composition there should be no word written, of which the tendency, direct or indirect, is
not to the one pre-established design. And by such means, with such care and skill, a picture is at length
painted which leaves in the mind of him who contemplates it with a kindred art, a sense of the fullest
satisfaction." –Poe

Translation:
-- Make every character, object, event…, do double duty. Don't just throw something in the story for
decoration like a sex scene, or a piano in the living room. Make that piano, or that sex scene IMPORTANT
to the story. Make something happen because they had sex. Make something happen because they
played the piano.

This is more commonly known as:

The "Gun on the Mantelpiece" rule of Fiction:

-- "If a gun is shown on the mantelpiece in Chapter One, it better go off by Chapter Three – and there
had better be a damned good reason for that gun to go off."

Applied to Romance:

-- "If a Kiss is shown in the living room in Chapter One, Sex better happen by Chapter Three – and there
had better be a damned good reason for that Sex to happen."

Applied to Sci-Fi:

-- "If a mysterious artifact is shown in the living room in Chapter One, the mysterious artifact had better
cause chaos by Chapter Three – and there had better be a damned good reason for that chaos to
happen."

The trick to knowing what to include in any story, is whether or not you intend to actively USE it. If the
character trait or object does not matter to the plot – skip it. If it doesn't Actively MOVE the Plot, (even a
teeny bit,) you don't need to include it.

The shorter the story the LESS room you have to work with, so the only details that you need are what
actually changes the plot -- even character details. If that detail has no bearing on the plot, you don't
need it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poe's Prerequisites – Translated

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- A short story should be Plotted:

1) Between 5,000 words, and 15,000.

2) With a Beginning, Middle, End, and a Point in mind.

3) For a TV-watcher's visually oriented (12-year old) attention span.

4) Using only what is needed to make your point, and complete the story.

The LAYERS of Fiction

------Original Message------

"If you have Action and Dialogue, do you really NEED Description too?

What is the difference?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Layers of Fiction

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dialogue Only

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Himawari-chan, I have your lunch!"

"Ah, Watanuki-kun!"

"Here you go Himawari-chan!"

"Thank you, Watanuki-kun!"

"You are very welcome, Himawari-chan."

"I see. Of course. Thank you, Yuuko-san. Do I need to tell you what she said?"

"No! No, you don't, and I don't want to hear it! I don't need a freaking baby-sitter!"

"Yuuko thinks you do."

"That's her! Not me!"

"Are you a fortune-teller?"

"No! Of course not!"

"I'll come get you after class. I'll get the instructor to let you wait while I practice."

"What? No! I said I don't want to wait…!"

"You gonna eat that?"

"Yes I am!"

"Tea."
"I do not, not, NOT take orders from you!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is "Talking Head Syndrome." There are no dialogue tags, because I don't use them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ACTION with Dialogue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lunch time found Kimihiro walking around to the back of the school carrying the three lacquered wood
bento boxes.

Himawari was already at their chosen spot.

Kimihiro couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. He waved. "Himawari-chan, I have your lunch!"

Himawari looked over at Kimihiro smiled. "Ah, Watanuki-kun!"

Doumeki came from around the opposite corner of the building. He was talking on his cell phone, or
rather, grunting into it.

Kimihiro sighed.

Doumeki's gaze found Kimihiro's and his eyes narrowed.

Kimihiro felt the small hairs on his arms lift. He turned away to unwrap the bento boxes and offered
Himawari a box. "Here you go Himawari-chan!"

Smiling, Himawari took the box from Kimihiro without making any physical contact. "Thank you,
Watanuki-kun!"

"You are very welcome, Himawari-chan." Watanuki sighed and pulled out cups.

Doumeki strode up to stand before Kimihiro. "I see. Of course. Thank you, Yuuko-san."

Kimihiro looked up and his mouth fell open. The iced tea he was pouring spilled slightly over his hand. He
grabbed for a paper napkin to wipe at the small mess.

Doumeki snapped the small phone closed, and tucked it into the front fold of his gi. He held out his
hand.

Kimihiro shoved the bento box at him.

Doumeki took the box from Kimihiro's hands and his gaze narrowed on Kimihiro's face. "Do I need to tell
you what she said?"

"No! No, you don't, and I don't want to hear it!" Kimihiro turned away and flopped cross-legged onto the
spread blanket at Himawari's side. "I don't need a freaking baby-sitter!" He pried open his bento box.

Doumeki moved to Kimihiro's immediate right and stepped into the space between Kimihiro and
Himawari. He settled cross-legged on the blanket with a grunt, seating himself between them.

Watanuki rolled his eyes.

Doumeki turned and his gaze locked on Kimihiro's. "Yuuko thinks you do."

Kimihiro felt his hackles lift. He scooted back. "That's her! Not me!"

Doumeki's gaze narrowed to slits. "Are you a fortune-teller?"

Kimihiro stared at him. "No! Of course not!"

"I'll come get you after class." He turned away to pry open his lunch box. "I'll get the instructor to let you
wait while I practice."

Kimihiro stared at him open mouthed. "What? No! I said I don't want to wait…!"

Doumeki picked up the chopsticks and started shoveling food into his mouth with one hand. He plugged
the ear on Kimihiro's side with the pinky finger of the other.

Kimihiro ranted and raved until he was red in the face.

Doumeki continued to eat with one ear plugged.

Kimihiro added kicks and gestures to his gripes and complaints, and even tried writhing on the ground.

Doumeki turned to face Kimihiro. "You gonna eat that?" He pointed at Kimihiro's full bento box.

Kimihiro grabbed for his food. "Yes I am!" He snatched up his chopsticks and stabbed it into his box.
Glaring at the larger boy, he shoved the piece of food into his mouth and chewed.

Himawari burst into giggles.

Doumeki held out his hand. "Tea."

Kimihiro reached for the thermos and a tea cup then froze. He turned to glare Doumeki.

Doumeki continued to hold out his hand, his gaze unwavering.

Kimihiro handed him the cup of tea.

Doumeki took the cup of tea, and the slightest of smiles curved his mouth.

A hard shiver skittered up Kimihiro's spine. He jerked his gaze away.

Doumeki's gaze drifted down to his teacup, and announced what he'd like for tomorrow's lunch.

"I do not, not, NOT take orders from you!"

Doumeki's reply was yet another smile.

Himawari giggled.

Tanpopo chirped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the first one, you could HEAR what was happening, like a Radio Show. In the second one you could
HEAR and SEE what was happening, like a black and white TV. Shall we put it on the Big Screen?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DESCRIPTION with Action, & Dialogue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lunch time found Kimihiro walking around to the back of the school carrying the three lacquered wood
bento boxes wrapped in a large cloth in one hand, and the thermos of chilled jasmine tea in the other.

Himawari was already at their chosen spot under the tree. She knelt on the small picnic blanket, neat
and prim in her stark black skirt and white summer top, while talking cheerfully to her tiny bright yellow
bird, Tanpopo, Dandilion. The ultra-feminine black coils of her sumptuous mane spilled down her back
and tumbled down around her lap. Two small coiling tails bound with yellow bows framed either side of
her impishly sweet face.

Kimihiro couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. So cuuute! Himawari was everything a pretty girl should
be, and she was just as sweet as she appeared. He waved. "Himawari-chan, I have your lunch!"

If only she didn't have that…condition.

Himawari looked over at Kimihiro and her smile was as bright as the sun. "Ah, Watanuki-kun!"

The tall, broad-shouldered, and pointedly masculine form of Doumeki came from around the opposite
corner of the building. His short-cropped black hair gleamed blue in the sunlight. He was dressed in the
white keiko-gi top and ground-sweeping black hakima trousers of his Kyudo, archery club uniform.
Apparently, he'd spent the last period at the archery range. He was talking on his cell phone, or rather,
grunting into it. His gaze was somewhere off in the distance and lips were turned slightly downward.
Kimihiro sighed. That was Doumeki for you. He appeared to only ever show one of two expressions, if he
had an expression, an almost-scowl, or an almost-smirk. Of the two, the smirk was worse; it was
downright disturbing.

Doumeki's gaze found Kimihiro's and his golden eyes narrowed.

Kimihiro felt the small hairs on his arms lift. He's staring at me in that creepy way again. It was enough to
very nearly sour Kimihiro's appetite.

Yuuko had once asked him, "What don't you like about Doumeki?"

Kimihiro couldn't very well tell her… "Because he stares at me like, he wants to hit me or do something…
else, something embarrassing and vulgar. When he smirks, it's worse. It's like, he's laughing at me, and
about to do something vulgar. On top of that, when he actually talks what he says never goes with the
look on his face. And he does it all the damned time!"

It sounded stupid even in his thoughts.

He turned away to unwrap the bento boxes, slapped on a sunny smile strictly for Himawari, and offered
her a box. "Here you go Himawari-chan!"

Smiling, Himawari took the box from Kimihiro without making any physical contact. "Thank you,
Watanuki-kun!"

"You are very welcome, Himawari-chan." Watanuki sighed in contentment and pulled out the small
plastic cups for the tea. Lunch with sweet, adorable, completely predictable Himawari was the highlight
of his entire day.

Doumeki strode up to stand before Kimihiro and his voice deepened to a base growl. "I see. Of course.
Thank you, Yuuko-san."

Kimihiro looked up at his nemesis and his mouth fell open in shock. Doumeki was talking to Yuuko? The
iced tea he was pouring spilled slightly over his hand. Startled, he grabbed for a paper napkin to wipe at
the small mess. He knew, he just knew, Yuuko had told Doumeki to walk him back. That conniving,
controlling, over-protective…

Doumeki snapped the small phone closed, and tucked it into the front fold of his gi. He held out his
hand, clearly asking for the bento at Kimihiro's side.

Selfish bastard… Furious, Kimihiro shoved the bento box at him.

Doumeki took the box from Kimihiro's hands and his gaze narrowed on Kimihiro's face. "Do I need to tell
you what she said?"

"No! No, you don't, and I don't want to hear it!" Kimihiro turned away and flopped cross-legged onto the
spread blanket at Himawari's side. He would not, would not, look at him. "I don't need a freaking baby-
sitter!" He pried open his bento box, determined to eat and enjoy some cheerful conversation with
Himawari.

Doumeki moved to Kimihiro's immediate right and stepped into the space between Kimihiro and
Himawari. He settled cross-legged on the blanket with a grunt, seating himself between them.

Watanuki rolled his eyes. One might suppose that Doumeki was merely keeping the two from coming
into accidental physical contact, which would trigger Himawari's rather volatile and highly dangerous
condition. However, Watanuki knew for a fact that Doumeki had done it simply to annoy him.

Doumeki turned and his golden gaze locked on Kimihiro's. He was so close Kimihiro could actually feel his
body heat. The scent of soap and temple incense drifted from him. "Yuuko thinks you do."

Kimihiro felt his hackles lift. He scooted back, away from Doumeki's unnervingly warm presence. "That's
her! Not me!"

Doumeki's gaze narrowed to hard gold slits. "Are you a fortune-teller?"

Fortune-teller? Kimihiro stared at him. What the hell…? "No! Of course not!"

"I'll come get you after class." He turned away to pry open his flat black lunch box. "I'll get the instructor
to let you wait while I practice."

Kimihiro stared at him open mouthed. "What? No! I said I don't want to wait…!"

Doumeki picked up the chopsticks and started shoveling food into his mouth with one hand. He plugged
the ear on Kimihiro's side with the pinky finger of the other. Clearly, Doumeki was not listening.

Kimihiro ranted and raved until he was red in the face.

Doumeki continued to eat with one ear plugged.

Kimihiro added kicks and gestures to his gripes and complaints, and even tried writhing on the ground.

Doumeki turned to face Kimihiro with absolutely no expression on his face what so ever. "You gonna eat
that?" He pointed at Kimihiro's full bento box with his chopsticks.

Kimihiro grabbed for his food. "Yes I am!" He snatched up his chopsticks and stabbed it into his box
blindly. Glaring at the larger boy, he shoved the piece of food into his mouth and chewed with extra
emphasis.

Himawari burst into giggles.

Still completely expressionless, Doumeki held out his hand. "Tea."

Kimihiro reached for the thermos and a tea cup then froze. Son of a...! Who does he think I am, his
damned wife? He turned to glare at the overgrown pain in his butt.

Doumeki continued to hold out his hand, his gaze unwavering and clearly expectant.

Kimihiro handed him the cup of tea.

Doumeki took the cup of tea, and the slightest of satisfied smiles curved the very edge of his mouth.

A hard shiver skittered up Kimihiro's spine. He jerked his gaze away. He hated it when Doumeki looked at
him like that; like he'd done something both pleasing and perverted at the same time.

Doumeki's gaze drifted down to his teacup, and in a completely emotionless voice, he announced what
he'd like for tomorrow's lunch.

Kimihiro very nearly threw his bento box at him. "I do not, not, NOT take orders from you!"

Doumeki's reply was yet another of those smug half-smirks.

Himawari's giggling and Tanpopo's amused chirping did not make Kimihiro feel any better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why did I not include Internal Narration until I got to the Description layer?

Because Internal Narration is the POV character's opinion of the events happening around them.

Most authors include Internal Narration; but many, MANY of the same authors forget that the POV
character's physical observations -- what they see, and experience -- belongs in there too, not just what
they thought about it.

Once you add Description to your Dialogue and Action, you add depth perception. Instead of the reader
merely being an observer, someone who can hear and see what's going on like a movie, Description
allows the reader to step into your characters' skin and become a participant in the story.

Get it? Got it? GOOD!

High Speed STORIES

High-Speed STORIES

When you absolutely, positively, HAVE to get the story done.

The trick to speed-writing is to Plan the story out first, more commonly known as PLOTTING.

"Diabolic" was written in 30 days -- all 15 chapters at 2500 to 3000 words per chapter, adding up to
around 80k (thousand) words. A novel is 90k to 100k. I was able to do this because I already knew my
main characters really well, (Vincent and Sephiroth of Final Fantasy VII,) and I knew where my story
ENDED. Basically, once I knew where I wanted to go, all I had to do was figure out how to get there.
Note: If you're interested, DIABOLIC can be found at Media Miner. The 'Search' feature is your friend!

The plot outline I used only had 5 points:

1. Beginning - The Main Character gets involved with the Villain or Lover.

2. Complications - The situation worsens.

3. Emotional Turning Point - Panic Attack! Fear and/or Guilt vs. Desperation

4. Reversal - The worst possible thing that could happen -- happens.

5. Outcome - The absolute last thing the Main Character wants to do.

If you can fill in these five slots, you can write any story. Seriously.

Where did these five points come from? Basic Plotting. For those of you that have taken some writing or
literature classes, does this look more recognizable?

• Introduction

• Conflict

• Ordeal (Dark Moment)

• Climax

• Resolution

"Plot the story out…? But that's so … Uncreative!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EVERY story follows the same basic pattern, from Aristotle and Shakespeare to Underworld and
Constantine. It's up to the individual author to do something Creative within that pattern, up to and
including, going back and forth between points before progressing onto the next step.

Also, just because you've plotted your story out doesn't mean you have to do exactly as planned. View it
as a guide, a roadmap that tells you where you are verses where you want to be. There's absolutely no
reason why you can't take alternate routes. "I could take this left-hand turn in Albuquerque…?"

However, if you don't know where you want end up, right from the beginning, you'll NEVER get there.

High-Speed Plotting - The Magic Formula!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Answer these three questions FIRST!

• Who, What, and Where I am I? (Your Main Character)

• What I want?

• The worst thing that could happen to me?

(Borrowed from PaperbackWriter: pbackwriter.blogspot.com/)

Okay, now that you know have some idea of where you're going, answer these questions to get there.

1. Beginning

The Main Character gets involved with their Villain or Lover.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Hero meets Villain or Lover.

2. Complications

The situation worsens.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- How does this Villain or Lover cause difficulties in the Main Character's life?

-- What secrets are in danger of being revealed?

3. Emotional Turning Point

Panic Attack! Fear and/or Guilt vs. Desperation

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- What Situation, Fear, or Emotional Burden/Guilt is keeping the Main Character from making a decision
about what they should do?

4. Reversal

The worst possible thing that could happen -- happens.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- What terrible thing suddenly happens or secret is revealed to make the situation even worse?

5. Outcome

The absolute last thing the Main Character wants to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- What conflicts must they overcome to make their goal happen?

-- What happens after?

Not a whole lot of details, are there? That's where you get to be Creative!

REMEMBER!

-- A Plot is just a MAP. You don't have to follow it exactly. Feel free to skip or change things as you please.
The idea behind Plotting is simply to give yourself a place to end up and an idea of the direction you
need to go in to get there.

Adventure Plot in a nutshell:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He came.

He saw.

He conquered.

Erotic Plot in a Nutshell:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He saw.

He conquered.
He came.

Simple, ne?

In Conclusion…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you're on a time limit, plotting out the major turning points in your story is a far, far faster method
than simply waiting on the muse for inspiration.

Plotting-Murphy's Law Method

Plotting Tricks: The Murphy's Law Method

"What Can go Wrong SHOULD go Wrong."

If you want an easy way to plot out a story that your readers can't guess the end to by the fourth
chapter, then THIS is the method for you!

Basically, you begin with a character and something they desire. They go after their desire which
immediately sparks complications which become a Problem that your character has to solve.

Once the character applies their chosen Solution to their Problem, Murphy's Law kicks in. The Solution
triggers yet another problem.
This pattern continues--Problem > Solution > Problem--so on and so forth until All the problems are
solved and your character either reaches their goal, or achieves an even better one--or dies.

This method is extremely effective when plotting out Adventure stories of any kind. In fact, Van Helsing,
National Treasure, Inkheart, Pirates of the Caribbean, Indiana Jones, Lara Croft, the James Bond movies,
most RP video games, and almost all Horror stories and films follow this pattern.

Murphy's Law Adventures

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Basically, the story begins with a Goal. Our hero goes after said goal which spawns a problem. Once our
hero figures out a solution and gains the goal, the worst possible thing (or person) happens to snatch
that victory right out of their hands.

This forces our hero to figure out a new solution to regain their goal, which delivers yet another
problem--a worse problem. They find a solution to that problem and achieve said goal only to have
Murphy's Law strike again to snatch their victory away, plus present them with a new and even worse
problem to solve.

This is also known as "Impressive Failure".

From: Screenwriting Column 08 by Terry Rossio

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Consider Raiders of the Lost Ark. Indiana Jones is perhaps the greatest action hero in the history of the
movies, and in his debut film, he flat-out fails from beginning to end.

• He loses the golden idol.

• Marian is kidnapped and he's unable to rescue her.

• He finds the Ark, but it is immediately taken.

• His bluff to destroy the Ark is called, and he gets recaptured.

• He can't even look upon the Ark when it is opened.

• And the government ends up with his long sought-after and much suffered-for prize.

This guy's an action hero?

Yup, because he fails so damn impressively from start to finish. Indy fails so well in fact, the audience is
impressed as hell, and hardly aware of the fact that he's failing. The defeats are just setbacks that create
more opportunities for heroism. As an added benefit, Indy wins the audience's sympathy -- the poor
guy's trying so hard, you can't help but root for him."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the Murphy's Law method, Impressive Failure happens over and over until the very end of the story
where our hero is completely out of solutions--except the one thing they really, really don't want to do.
This one last thing solves everything--usually with a casualty--and the story ends on an ironic note.

Sound like fun?

Murphy's Law Romance

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Murphy's Law Method is also surprisingly effective when plotting out an Angsty Romance!

Example: Romeo & Juliet

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Set Up: Once upon a time, a boy and girl fell in love.

The Goal: Each other.

Problem: Their parents hated each other, and none of their friends liked the others' friends. No one
approved--in fact, it was forbidden for them to see each other. (Insert Lover's Angst.)

Solution: Secret marriage

Next Problem: Their relationship is discovered and they are forcibly separated--with one threatened with
Death should they be discovered within the city's limits. (Insert Separation Angst.)

Solution: They meet in secret and plan to run away.

Next Problem: One lover is late to the meeting. (Insert Abandonment Angst.)
Solution: A sympathetic friend (who happens to be the priest that married them,) is waiting with the
other lover--the one who isn't late. The friend decides to go out and discover whether or not the late
lover is going to show up.

Next Problem: The waiting lover happens to be the one who will be killed if they are found. If the friend
leaves, they will be left alone and unprotected. (Insert Unfairness Angst.)

Solution: A potion that fakes death. If they were a corpse, no one would bother them.

Next Problem: The late lover finally arrives and finds their beloved out cold from the potion. They
immediately think that their beloved has committed suicide. (Insert "It's all my fault" Angst.)

Solution: They can't drink the supposed poison because there's none left, so they commit suicide by
dagger.

Next Problem: The one out cold wakes up to find that their beloved's bloody corpse. (Insert more "It's all
my fault" Angst.)

Solution: They commit suicide too--with the same dagger.

Conclusion: The parents find the dead kids. (Insert Even MORE "It's all my fault" Angst.) They decide to
stop the feud between their families

The End

Writing Murphy's Law

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The key to using this method effectively is ONE Point of View, normally the Hero's. This keeps the reader
firmly in the driver's seat and focused on what the Hero is doing. It also allows surprises to pop-up and
Suspense to build. "Is he gonna get it this time?"

If the reader has been in the Villain's head, for example, and already knows what's going to happen
next--where's the Surprise?

Memorize this:

Suspense can only happen when the Reader DOESN'T know what will happen next.

So don't tell them by head-hopping, damn it!

The only real problem that one could face when using this method is the possibility of the author
painting themselves into a corner by creating a problem the character Can't solve. This often triggers the
heinous Deus Ex Machina--when something or someone comes out of nowhere to save the hero's butt.
Deus Ex Machina:

tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php…

The solution of course, is to make a LIST of the problems and their solutions--and STICK TO IT, unless of
course, you find a better solution. Just remember to make a better problem to go with it!

Basic PLOTTING

Basic Plotting

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A plot is the pattern a story follows, the most common being:

-- Beginning

-- Middle

-- End

All successful (read: popular) stories have patterns. Sometimes it's simple, sometimes it's complex, but
all of the stories read or told often enough to remain in the popular mind of any culture have a pattern, a
plot.

Here are some examples of simple plot patterns…

Traditional:

• He came.

• He saw.

• He conquered.

American Dream Version:

• He came.

• He conquered.

• He became very rich.

The Heroic version:

• He conquered.

• He became the leader of his people.

• He died in the middle of a glorious battle to defend his land, and became a legendary figure that would
never be forgotten.

Erotic Version:

• He saw.

• He conquered.

• He came.

Aristotle's Elements of a Greek Tragedy - simplified:

• Act One: He rose to glory.

• Act Two: His pride drove him to make a foolish but costly mistake.

• Act Three: He crashed and burned.

Aristotle's Elements - American version:

• Act One: He rose to glory.

• Act Two: His pride drove him to make a foolish but costly mistake.

• Act Three: He crashed and burned.

• Act Four: He fixed his mistake and rose again.

Your basic Romance plot:

• The lovers are thrown together.

• The lovers are forced apart.

• The lovers go against the odds to get back together.

Your basic Yaoi Romance plot:

• One lover seduces the other.

• A misunderstanding drives one lover away.

• The lover that misunderstood chases the other lover down to beg for forgiveness.

Your basic Adventure plot:

• Hero meets Villain.

• They fight and the Villain wins.

• The hero rises from his defeat to battle the Villain again, and wins the war.

Your basic Manga Adventure plot:

• A group of friends meet a Villain.

• The villain corners them individually and defeats each one.

• The friends rise from their individual defeats to team up on the Villain and win the war.

I can already hear the whining…

"But that's so…formulaic! Where's the creativity?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Creativity is Overrated.

Ever hear the phrase: "It's not what you have, it's what you do with it,"? This is especially true when
writing stories. It's not the plot, but what you do with the plot that makes it creative.

No matter what those Creative Writing classes teach, for a story to be enjoyed by the widest possible
audience, it needs to have some sort of structure, a pattern -- a plot.

Why?

Because a story without some sort of plot pattern reads…wrong. Everyone, in every culture, has been
trained from childhood to EXPECT a story to follow some sort of pattern to take it from Here to There,
and make some sort of point too. In fact, some of the hottest blockbuster movies including 'Star Wars'
follow one of the oldest plot patterns in human history -- the Heroic Cycle, as codified by William
Campbell.

The Heroic Mythic Cycle:

(Paraphrased to avoid copyright issues.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Act One - Chosen

Humble Beginnings

Destiny Comes Knocking

Shoved into Adventure

Sagely Advice ~ Paramours & Sidekicks

Act Two - Challenge

Leaving the Known World behind

Challenges, Friends & Foes

Battle at the Crossroads

Act Three – Crisis

Into the Labyrinth

Temptation & Betrayal

Anger ~ Despair ~ Sacrifice

Inheritance / Blessing / Curse

Treasure & Celebration

Act Four – Climax

Escape / Expelled from the Labyrinth

The Hunter becomes the Hunted

Rescue & Loss of Paramour / Side-kick

Battle at the Crossroads to Home

Death / Rebirth

Delivery of Treasure & Just Rewards

A great many people who write quite successfully 'by the seat of their pants,' may tell you that they
don't need to plot, they just…write it from beginning to end. That doesn't mean their stories don't follow
a pattern. It's merely that the plotting pattern they use is so ingrained into their subconscious they follow
it instinctively -- without even knowing they're doing it.

Unfortunately, that's not a talent I possess. I have to work everything out on paper or I get lost in a hurry.

How to Use a Plot

"What is plotting good for anyway?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, the best use of a plotting pattern is so you don't get lost in the story. Think of the plot outline as a
road map marking out the most direct route from Here to There. This doesn't mean you can't take side
trips to sight-see or visit friends along the way. It's merely a way of keeping track of where you are, and
where you should go next, by knowing where you intend to end up. Knowing your basic route ahead of
time also makes it much more difficult to get lost on a back road or trapped in a cul-de-sac.

In short, if you know where you're going when you start out, sooner or later, you'll actually get there.

A note on Japanese stories…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: 'Eight Ways to say You ~ The Challenges of Translation'

By Cathy Hirano

The most obvious differences between Japanese and English writing styles are organization and tone.

My English composition classes in high school taught me that English is supposed to flow in a linear
fashion, from introduction to body to conclusion, and that a statement should be supported by a logical
explanation. Even in literature, a book works toward a climax and then a conclusion. In contrast,
Japanese composition appears almost circular, and although it has its own logic and organization, it is
very different from how I learned to write in school.

In English, we stress clarity.

In Japanese subtlety is preferred. The Japanese writer dances around his theme, implying rather than
directly stating what he wants to say, leaving it up to readers to discern that for themselves. He or she
appeals to the reader's emotions rather than to the intellect, and tries to create a rapport rather than to
convince. The Japanese reader, in turn, is quite capable of taking great leaps of imagination to follow the
story line.

Cathy Hirano is the translator of The Friends, winner, for Farrar, Straus & Giroux, of the 1997 Batchelder
Award.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Go HERE to read the whole article:

www.hbook.com/magazine/article…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Conclusion…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- By using even the most basic of plot patterns, the writer can keep track of not only where they are in
their story, but where they intend to end up. This makes it very easy to avoid the most common pitfall of
fiction writing: "The story's halfway done and I have no idea how to end it!" Advanced Plotting-The
PREMISE

Advanced Plotting ~ the PREMISE

-----Original Message-----

Could you tell me more on plotting story points? I can get the big story idea well enough, but I run into a
snag deciding the whole causality thing -- A leads to B, leads to C, …etc."

-- Mad about Plotting

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ah, so you wanna know how to put all the theories together to make a story, do you? (Gee, you couldn't
pick the easy stuff could you?) Okay...

A story's Causes & Effects, the triggers that lead from one event to the next, comes from your Premise.

Just for the record...

A Premise is NOT a Concept!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Premise is the theoretical / emotional problem that your story is trying to illustrate and answer. It's
the glue that holds the whole thing together. It's the Purpose of your story.

A Concept is HOW you intend to illustrate that Premise, it's the story you wrap around it.

Example: The 'Matrix':

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Premise: Knowledge vs. Ignorance

Concept: "What if we were all living in a computer-generated dreamworld?"

See?

-- On with the tutorial...

Using a Premise...

In 'The Full Metal Alchemist':

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edward decided to bring his mother back to life – against the laws of Alchemy. He learned the hard way
exactly why you Didn't do that. His entire story revolves around this massive Wrong Decision that looked
like the right decision when he decided to do it.

The Premise for the entire series is Right vs. Wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All of the characters throughout this long and convoluted story are involved in dilemmas of right actions
verses wrong actions, and then dealing with the consequences of their decisions.

How to Use this:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Each pivotal Character should represent a different reflection of the Premise - the Story's theoretical /
emotional problem.

• Each Cause is an event where your characters make a decision in an attempt to Fix their individual
theoretical / emotional problem.

• The Effect is the results - whether or not their action / solution works, works temporarily, or doesn't
work at all.

• Those results lead to the Next Attempt at trying to solve their Problem.

How it works:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In 'The Matrix':

• Each Character is a different reflection of the Story's theoretical / emotional problem.

Each character is a representation of the Matrix's Premise: Knowledge vs. Ignorance. The meanings
behind the characters' names are the biggest clue as to what facet of Knowledge each character
represents.

Neo means New, reflecting that he's completely ignorant of what's really going on.

Morpheus means Dream, reflecting that he follows his dreams -- blindly.

Trinity stands for the triple Goddess, the Maiden, Mother, and Crone which represents feminine
intuition.

• Each Cause is an event where one your characters makes a Decision in an attempt to Fix their
individual theoretical / emotional problem.

Neo, the main character, is faced with one problem after the other. Each one forces him to make a
Decision. "Do I want to Know, or do I want to Ignore it?" < -- the Premise

• The Effect is whether or not their solution works, works temporarily, or doesn't work at all.

When the entire cast is caught in a trap set by the agents, each character makes a different choice on
how to deal with the problem.

• Neo just follows along. He has no clue what so ever about what's going on around him.
• Morpheus's dream is that he will find 'the One' whom he thinks is Neo. Choosing to follow his Faith in
his dream, he sacrifices himself so Neo can escape.

• Trinity, named for feminine intuition, makes her choices based on her emotions. She is emotionally
attached to both Neo and Morpheus. When Morpheus makes his sacrifice, she is unable to choose
between them and freezes in momentary indecision.

• Those results lead to the Next Attempt at trying to solve their Problem.

To solve the problem of Morpheus's sacrifice, Neo makes his decision based on what he has learned. He
takes responsibility for losing Morpheus and decides to go get him. Trinity also feels responsible for
Morpheus's loss, and as second in command of the ship (mother figure to the crew,) she is determined
to bring him home.

Together, they run to the rescue.

And so the story continued on to the next dilemma.

-----Original Message-----

"I know you said you work backwards from your climax, but I don't know how to settle on the climax
either. So how do you do it?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Climax is where you Apply the RIGHT Answer to the story's Premise, the theoretical / emotional
problem.

This works best if you make it the LAST thing anyone wants to do.

In 'The Full-Metal Alchemist':

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last thing Edward wants to do is leave well enough alone. He is determined to use Alchemy to fix the
problem he caused by using Alchemy in the first place.

In 'The Matrix':

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The last thing Neo wants to do is believe that he's the savior of the world, the One. He is determined to
keep his head down and simply survive, as he's done all his life.

-----Original Message-----

"What questions do you ask yourself to get yourself moving in the right direction?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Plot = Momentum

To generate a basic Plot, I set up my three main characters...

Adversary – (Antagonist), the one making the most trouble.

Proponent – (Protagonist), the one trying to keep things the way they are.

Ally - The Companion to one or the other who is at odds with both.

I ask each of my 3 characters Three Questions:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 Who am I, what am I, and what do I do?

2 What do I want?

3 What's the worst possible thing that could happen to me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The 9 answers to these questions give me the Major turning points for the story. In order for the plot to
be water tight, each character must demonstrate the answers to each of these questions. Leaving any of
these out of the story gives you a Plot Hole.

How it works:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In 'The Full Metal Alchemist':

1 Who am I, what am I, and what do I do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am Edward Elric and I became the Full Metal Alchemist because I made a major mistake, and now I
have to fix it.

2 What do I want?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I want to restore my brother back to his human body, and get back my missing arm and leg.

3 What's the worst possible thing that could happen to me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I could find out that the cost to reverse my mistake is measured in human lives.

-----Original Message-----

"I get frozen by the unlimited places I could go to from the start..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hell, so do I. After reviewing my options, I try to choose the one direction no one expects, the one thing
that hasn't been done, or the one action that seems most likely to fail. I like surprising my readers.

-----Original Message-----

"What's the specific place that's the most exciting and most engaging for the reader?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Darkest Moment - the story's Reversal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is the place where everything falls completely apart and the Main Character crashes and burns. It is
the character's moment of total failure that forces them to face the real solution to their emotional /
theoretical problem -- and make a decision:

• Give up & die...

• Refuse to admit that they were Wrong -- and ignore the solution to their emotional / theoretical
problem.

• Admit they were Wrong -- and act on the solution to their emotional / theoretical problem.

In 'The Matrix':

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This story's darkest moment is when Morpheus sacrifices himself to let Neo escape. The rest of Neo's
decisions and the story's entire plot, hinges on this one moment.

In 'Constantine':

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This story's darkest moment is when the leading heroine decides to reawaken her denied psychic
abilities -- instantly making her a target for the story's main villain. If she hadn't awakened her latent
talents, she would have been useless to the villain.

In 'Leon the Professional':

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The story's darkest moment is when young Mathilda realizes that she can't shoot the villain dead; she
just doesn't have it in her to kill -- which allows the villain to recognize her as the one that got away.

The Answer to the Premise -- is the story's actual pay-off.

Everybody is looking for solutions to their personal issues.

• "How do I deal with a sucky job, and a boss I seriously loathe?"

• "How do I know if someone is worthy of my love?"

• "How do I handle my family issues?"

• "How do I deal with the monster in my closet?"

Ever hear the phrase: "People are People"? No matter whom they are or where they live, human issues
Never change. "People are People." Embrace this phrase, love this phrase, use and abuse this phrase!
THIS is the key to fiction people WANT to read.

Sure you could be writing a Horror or a Fantasy, but the people in your horror or fantasy should STILL be
dealing with the same issues everybody else deals with:

• Sucky bosses - How do you think Saruman the White really felt about working for Sauron?

• Love interests - Arwen's dad, the king of the elves did not approve of her scruffy human boyfriend.

• Family issues - Eowen of Rohan had to deal with a senile dad PLUS several bossy older brothers.

• Monsters under the bed - Ringwraths & Orcs, need I say more?

No matter how fantastic or unusual, people STILL suffer from the same issues.

That's what the Darkest Moment of the story does. It forces the Main Character to realize the answer to
their personal problems -- offering a solution to your Readers' problems too.

Caution! Don't leave anybody Out!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All three characters (Proponent, Ally, Villain) should have a Dark Moment that occurs in somewhere in
the story. That dark moment is what leads them to a pivotal decision, which then rolls straight downhill
into the Climax - the big confrontation between ALL the main characters.

The Climax's deciding factor?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Villain's INABILITY to Change enough to make the Right Decision is the reason WHY they LOSE.
• The Hero Crashes, Burns, Learns from his mistakes, and Rises Again.

• The Villain merely Crashes and Burns. He does NOT learn from his mistakes. He does Not rise again.

And the Ally?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Traditionally, the Ally knows the right answer all along -- even if they don't realize it. They also tend to be
the primary victim of one or the other's bad judgment, sometimes both, which triggers the Crash & Burn
for both the Hero and the Villain.

In 'The Full Metal Alchemist':

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alphonse Elric knew all along that some things should be left alone, but his devotion to his brother
Edward allowed him to join in on his brother's Bad Decision to raise their mother from the dead with a
forbidden spell. When the spell went wrong, he became a victim of the story's Hero -- his brother
Edward.

This of course, triggered Edward's next decision -- to rise from his ashes and become the Full-Metal
Alchemist.
The Wasteland AKA the MIDDLE

The Trackless Wasteland known as: The MIDDLE

-----Original Message-----

The middle (of a story) KILLS me. I freeze when I have to decide which way things are going to go, and
how, and that happens during the middle for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-----Original Message-----

Middle, middle, middle... It's the Slough of Despond!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-----Original Message-----

The Middle is where I usually fizzle out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The middle is DANGEROUS territory.

Why? Because the Middle of a story is where you have a million-and-one options, a million-and-one
directions to choose from, and a million-and-one ways to really show off your writing skills.

The Middle is also, where you have a million-and-one opportunities to really screw up your story for
good. Opportunities that will send you spiraling into ever tightening circles that eventually jam you into a
corner you can't get out of. In short: get you Lost in your own story.

You KNOW you're Lost when you hit that point where you're not sure what to do next. Details and points
of logic start tripping you up. Characters, situations, and points of view start evolving all by themselves.
They can be fun and often fascinating, but for some reason, they never bring you anywhere close to
where you plan to End.

You did plan an End right?

The #1 Reason why writers lose themselves in the Middle is because they started writing without a solid
idea of exactly where they wanted to END. Basically, they plunked themselves down in front of their
word processor and started writing -- and that's it. No plot, no plan, no outline, and no clue about what
direction they wanted their story to go in. AKA: Writing by the Seat of their Pants.

The Fastest way out of any wasteland, especially a bogged down Middle, is Choose a Destination -- an
END. Once you've figured out where you want to go, break out your trusty roadmap to figure out where
you are and what major highways are closest to you that will take you there.

Simple, no?

Actually no, it's Not Simple. In fact, it's very often PAINFUL. Choosing a destination when you're already
halfway through often means hacking out huge reams of text you've spent days, weeks, or months on
simply because that stuff is no longer relevant to the End you have in mind.

So what do you do with all that text you no longer need? You SAVE it as its own document and use it
later for its own story -- a story you WILL have an end for before you begin this time, right?
"But what if it's already posted, like on a story site?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's a reason I only post when I know the end is in sight -- but that's me. In cases like this, I advise
Finishing the story COMPLETELY -- without posting! Then repost the whole thing in one shot. Basically,
tear the whole thing down and repost the whole thing back up in one night.

And for God's sake, don't post a public apology! No one wants to read that crap! They're there to read a
Story. They could care less about how the author pissed themselves. If someone asks, answer privately
and discreetly.

Okay, here are some ways to get through the MIDDLE -- before it gets You.

The Confrontation

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is the huge dramatic Confrontation with plenty of special effects and narrow escapes that happens
right at the very end of the Middle. The fallout from the glorious Middle event uncovers special powers,
and secrets such as the Master Bad Guy, which kicks the story straight toward the climactic end.

This type of Middle is most often seen in high adventure stories and comic books.

Just about every comic-book movie that's come out has a huge Middle Confrontation that forces the
main character to use their Special Powers. This invariably brings them to be noticed by the Master Bad
Guy, which in turn heads them straight toward the movie's climactic battle.

The Mini Arc

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Mini Arc is a whole little storyline of its own plopped smack in the Middle. It's connected to the main
story, but the focus shifts onto a different set of circumstances and characters. It's a little story wholly
contained in the Middle designed to expose characters and situations that are vaguely relevant to the
main plot.

The Mini Arc is actually something of an antique style. It was very common in the turn of the century
stories, but not used much in modern tales as it takes an awful lot of attention away from the main
characters.

Jane Austin's romances all have a central Mini Arc where another whole set of characters goes through
their own romantic adventure with the main characters only slightly involved. JRR Tolkien's Lord of the
Rings series was pretty much a whole pile of Mini Arcs threaded together.

Suddenly Sub-Plot

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Sudden Subplot is a watered-down version of the Mini-Arc. It's a situation that suddenly develops
and has to be dealt with without actually being a major part of the story. Contained completely in the
Middle, the Sudden Subplot generally introduces you to some new characters and/or a new threat. Once
that's solved, the main character leaves those characters and that situation behind to go on with the rest
of the story.

The Star Wars movies ALL had a Sudden Subplot jammed in the middle, the most infamous of the lot
being the Pod Race in The Phantom Menace.

Comic Relief

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Right there in the Middle, a flamboyant new supporting character tromps out onto the stage. They only
have cameo shots elsewhere in the story, but in the Middle they take over to add important information
and/or tools that kick the main characters straight for the Climax in the most entertaining fashion
possible.

Traditionally they're known as the Comic Relief character and most often seen in old-time theater and
older movies.

Edna Mode of The Incredibles is one of the more obvious of these characters. Another example would
be the mechanical genius that supplies James Bond with cool new gadgets right there in the center of
the movie.

In the old Abbot and Costello movies, the Middle is where Costello has a whole scene to himself where
in his fumbling he discovers who the real bad guys are, ends up knowing a vital piece of information, or
accidentally gains the missing object that everyone is looking for -- though no one believes him.

The Reversal

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Reversal is where the Worst Possible Scenario happens and everything goes to hell in a hand-basket.
Basically, the main characters make it to their goal -- only to have their hard won victory snatched right
out of their hands.

The Reversal is damned near trademark for the Indiana Jones movies. Every single success that Indy has
is not only taken from him it triggers a situation that he barely escapes with his life. Not that any of that
stops him from trying again and again...

This type of Middle is most commonly seen in Horror stories where the monster is successfully killed
only he's not dead, or captured only to have him escape. Only now, the monster is pissed off and goes
directly after the main characters leading straight to the Climax.
In Conclusion...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Middle can be the most horrifying part of your story to deal with, but if you PLAN for it, the Middle
can become the central Masterpiece that makes the whole thing worth reading.

The methods I've listed are best chosen during the planning stages of your story, but they can be applied
after the fact with just as much success -- as long as you don't mind taking a hack saw to your story.

HOW do you make THE END?

"When will you make an end?"

- The Pope on the painting of the Sistine Chapel

"When I'm finished."

- Michelangelo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, so you got this GREAT Idea for a story!

- This Great Idea...that births chapter after chaper...

- This Great Idea... that you can't seem to finish. (WTF?)

Crap.

So what do you do now?

HOW do you make an End?

Fairytales and Myths were my foundational reading, so they became my base model for how a story
should finish -- by ending where you began with a solution.
This doesn't mean ending a story in the location it started, or that full irrevocable transformations don't
happen, but that the story ties the knot to the Emotional or Karmic place they began. -- The lost find
their way, the wicked are punished, the weak become strong, monsters are faced, emotional hang-ups
are dealt with, and problems are solved. What is begun - finishes.

However...

-- Stories aren't just about characters Doing stuff, it's about character's Dealing with stuff and Figuring
out stuff about themselves. The really good stories, the ones that grab us and stay in our memories the
longest, all illustrate normal people problems and issues, and the SOLUTIONS they come across.

No matter how fantastic the setting or characters are, stories are still about people being people dealing
with people stuff. It isn't what they Do, it's How they did it, and what they discovered about themselves
on the way.

It sounds perfectly simple, and it can be, however I despise stories I can guess the ending to, so naturally,
I refuse to write them that way. (Insert evil snicker.) I prefer to make my stories a bit more unpredictable.

How? Subterfuge.

The Wrong direction is the Right direction!

I prefer to write stories that throw the reader completely off the obvious path, straight through the
center of the village, and force them into the deep dark woods. I deliberately make every straightforward
solution unbelievably problematic!

• The obvious answer is the wrong answer.

• The simple solution is impossible to accomplish.

• What seems to be a easy task has impossible if not fatal complications.

Once the reader has been sent careening off into territory they never expected to go, and gotten utterly
wrapped up in a plot they never expected - that's when I start tying up ends by way of pulling rugs out
from under the reader's feet.

Characters reveal motives that change how their base characters are perceived.

• The obvious bad-guy isn't the bad guy, he's AFTER the bad-guy. However, he's completely ruthless in
his hunt, which is what made him seem like the bad-guy in the first place.

• The bumbling fool that merely wants to help improve his fellow man, is in fact completely deranged
sociopath that likes to do his improvements with a scalpel.
• The person the main character is trying to rescue, not only doesn't want to be rescued, but in fact
resents the intrusion.

Random events and objects are revealed to have unexpected connections.

• The gun on the mantelpiece wasn't merely a decoration.

• The strange recluse neighbor turns out to be the one person who actually knows what's really going
on.

What was accepted as fact is revealed to be something else entirely.

• "We're all living in a computer generated dream-world."

And in the process of dealing with all that...

• Monsters are faced.

• Emotional hang-ups are dealt with.

• Problems end up solved.

• What was begun - finishes.

Pesky Point of View

DISCLAIMER: Before anyone starts screaming about this article not emphasizing the Creative aspect of
writing, please understand that this information was hammered into my head by my editors. This is what
I had to learn to see my work published.

That doesn't mean you have to follow it! As with all advice, feel free to take what you can use and throw
out the rest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pesky Point of View

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is Point of View (POV)?

-- It's the view of the person telling the story.

First Person: I am telling the story.

Second Person. I am telling the story to YOU. (Diaries and letters are commonly written this way.)

Third Person: He is telling the story.

Close Third Person: He had no clue how he got roped into telling this story, but he was telling it, and by
god, they better listen up!

Omniscient Distant POV: The camera's eye view. (No internal narration what so ever. You only know what
the camera sees. This is the POV used in plays and movie/TV scripts.)

Omniscient Close POV, AKA: Storyteller's POV, AKA: Author Intrusion: When the author expresses their
opinions on what is happening in the story. (The Lemony Snicket books are written this way, as are Fairy
Tales and many Japanese novels.)

Note: The stories currently being published in America most often use Close Third POV and First Person
POV.

POV = ATTITUDE + ACTION

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Close Third POV = the POV Character's Voice.

When you are in Close Third POV, everything the main character sees and experiences should be
flavored with that character's Attitude -- that character's voice.

If Oscar the Grouch is looking at a bed of roses, what is going through his head is not going to resemble
what would be going through Big Bird's head. If you are in Oscar's POV, the way you would write the
description of those roses would reflect how he saw them.

Attitude Alone (AKA - Internal Narration):

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Oscar could not believe that someone had the gall to drop his comfy garbage can in the middle of a
disgustingly bright mound of flowers. At least they were roses. He could almost stand something that
closely resembled a heaped snarl of barbed wire, if it weren't for those eye-searing explosions of
hideous pink. To make matters worse their stench was overwhelmingly sweet. He just knew that it was
going to take a whole week to get the smell out of his can. He seriously considered heaving, just to have
something more comforting to smell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's wrong with this snippet?

-- Technically, nothing other than it's BORING. NOTHING is happening -- and that's totally wrong for this
character. Oscar would not sit there and contemplate the roses; he would make faces and say something
snotty.

Attitude + ACTION:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Oscar the Grouch popped out of his trash can. Serrated green leaves waved among slender and barbed
branches around the mouth of his home. He gasped in horror. "What is this disgusting mess?" He leaned
out and looked around in disbelief. "Oh ugh, I'm surrounded. Somebody put my trash can in a revolting
pile of... What are these? Roses?" He could almost stand something that closely resembled a heaped
snarl of barbed wire, if it weren't for those eye-searing explosions of hideous color. He curled his lip.
"Pink, I hate pink."

To make matters worse the stench was overwhelmingly sweet. "Oh, eww! The smell!" He slapped a fuzzy
green hand over his fuzzy green nose. "It's gonna take me a week to get that stink out'ta my can!" He felt
his gorge rising. "I think I'm going to be sick. At least it'll smell better."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not quite so boring this time.

Pet Peeve of mine: TOO MANY POVs!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your mileage may vary, but…

-- As far as I'm concerned, there is only ONE legitimate reason to have more than one POV -- SUBPLOTS.

When you have a large cast of characters, making more than one story thread going on, only then do you
need POV switching to show the full scope of the story. Since another story is being told within the first,
the main POV character may or may not ever be involved. This makes another POV character a necessity.

Jane Austin, Steven King, Robert Jordan and Terry Pratchet are authors that use multiple subplots –
multiple stories within one bigger story, and even they stick to ONE POV per subplot. When they bring all
the characters together in a story's final confrontation, they use the first POV Character that appears in
the book (that is not killed by the villain.*)

* In most mysteries, horror stories and suspense, nine times out of ten, the very first POV character is
usually someone dealing with the Antagonist – the villain of the piece, and they usually end up dead. The
next POV character is (normally,) the story's leading Protagonist.

But…! But…! But…!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- "But how will the reader know what's really going on in the other characters' heads?"

The exact same way YOU know what's going on in your friends' heads. You GUESS by reading into what
they say and what they do. You read their Body Language. This means that if you want your reader to
guess right -- or wrong -- you put in the speaker's body language too -- what they're doing AS they speak.

Who's POV?

When you have more than One POV character in a scene...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you have multiple characters to choose from for a particular scene which one do you pick? Who
has the most to LOSE? Who is going to be the most tied up in knots? Who is going to get the most
frustrated? THAT'S your POV character for that scene.

POV Problems & Cures

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Horrors of Head-hopping

-- Head-hopping is when the Point of View changes, and changes, and changes, and changes...sometimes
every few paragraphs, sometimes every few sentences.

Obsessive Head-hopping normally happens for these reasons…

The Author is still at the learning stage.

-- The most common reason for obsessive head-hopping is that they don't even KNOW that they are
head-hopping.

Dead Give-Aways:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) Every character's opinionated view is presented without any form of scene breaks, (often in the same
paragraph.)

2) Poor grammar skills.

My advice to Beginners: Write in FIRST PERSON, until you know how to STAY in that one person's head,
then attempt Close Third person. Once you know how to STAY in one person's head, POV switching will
be much easier to master.

Don't rush into Third Person after one try. Handling First Person POV is tough enough. Seriously, I know a
lot of published authors who have a rough time with that POV. Taking one step at a time will save you a
LOT of grief in the long run.
They're a multi-million dollar author.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Their editor isn't about to risk pissing off an author that makes the publishing house THAT much
money.

Dead Give-Aways:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Their name is Nora Roberts. (She even ADMITS to head hopping, and has point blank stated that she
sees no need to fix it since they're going to publish her anyway.)

Emotional DETACHMENT from the Official Lead Character

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- A lot of obsessive head-hopping is caused by the author's emotional connection to a character that is
NOT the protagonist – the official lead in the story. When the author becomes fascinated by a character
that is not the official lead, they will often pop in and out of their 'favorite'. They simply cannot bear not
being in that person's head.

Dead Give-Aways:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) ALL the characters are involved in only ONE plotline.

2) No real subplots, no secondary stories about different, but related, sets of characters.

3) The POV characters are narrowed to only two or three people.

4) The official lead character does not affect the plot in any major way.

5) The second (and preferred,) POV character defeats the Villain – not the official lead character. This
makes the second (and preferred,) POV character the Protagonist, the Official Lead.

The Author thinks they are enriching the story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-- The author is convinced that both leading characters are interesting. They are attempting to provide
the reader with a ringside seat to BOTH sides of the story. This shows up chronically in Erotic Fiction of
every stripe.

This problem normally takes a very firm publication editor to fix because the author will often refuse to
fix it for any other reason. They did it on purpose and don't see anything wrong with it. (My editor
b*tches about this ALL THE TIME.)

Dead Give-Aways:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) Only the two main characters have a POV.

2) The POV switch happens without breaks, one successive paragraph after the next – from one end of
the story to the other. (Seme > Uke > Seme > Uke…)

3) Events are often repeated; displayed in one POV and then the other.

4) Its deliberate. The author did it on purpose.

The Author thinks they're making SUSPENSE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- The author is convinced that the entire cast is soooo interesting, they MUST be revealed to the reader.
They completely miss that by allowing the readers a peek into each of the character's heads, it does not
take much effort for the reader to guess how the story will end by the third chapter.

Dead Give-Aways:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) No real subplots.

2) The entire plot and every characters' motivation, including the villain's, is revealed by the third
chapter.

3) Its deliberate. The author did it on purpose.

Why is this a Problem?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- The reader has NO REASON to finish the story. Why should the reader bother continuing to read a
story they already know the ending to? And by the way, once one already knows how a story will end,
where's the suspense?

I have heard loud cries of – "But they don't know HOW it all falls apart!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- The point is, that once the reader knows it's going to fall apart, they are Distanced from the characters'
joy and pain. They are no longer participants in the drama, but merely observers because they already
know what's coming.

Look at it this way...

Scene One --

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Someone leans close to you and says: "Watch this, I'm gonna yell Boo in that kid's ear!" They yell.

-- The kid jumps.

-- And you do - what? You smile, maybe you laugh.

Scene Two --

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Someone else leans over and grabs a different kid, yelling: "TICKLE!"

-- You -- jump out of your skin, maybe even shout, because it was totally unexpected.

See the difference?

Quick & Dirty Head-hop Proofing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Try writing it in First Person POV then do a Search / Replace.

• "I" = Character's Name at the beginning of a paragraph. You only need to use a character's name once
per paragraph -- unless they are directly interacting with another character of the same gender. If so,
then you'll need to use both names to keep the reader from getting confused as to who is doing what to
whom.

• He/She = Her/Him, everywhere else in the paragraph. (Need a gender-neutral word? I use THEM or
ONE. "He didn't know what to tell them." "One needs to be sure before one acts.")

• "My" = her/his.

• "Mine" = Their

Read your story line by line correcting and adjusting as you go until the story reads properly in the third
person.
An Unkindness of COMMAS

I SUCK at commas big-time. I tend to pull a "Mark Twain"; I sprinkle them in…wherever to break up the
monotony of the sentence. This article is my attempt to hammer the rules into my brain.

An Unkindness of COMMAS

What the heck are Commas for, anyway?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Besides abusing the sanity of the writer, the comma exists to help readers organize information in a
sentence. It makes all the stuff the author is trying to say easier to swallow. Without them, sentence bits
and pieces collide into one another causing confusion; rather like a train-wreck, though not nearly as
exciting.

Just in case you'd like to know who made up all these comma rules, I got most of them from Strunk &
White's "Elements of Style" the grammar handbook used by every publishing house in America, and a
few overseas. The rest came from my editors.

To get a good idea of how commas work, let's take a look at what they are supposed to do -- and some
major screw-ups.

Doing it RIGHT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Commas separate items in a series.

The werewolf had fleas, a couple of ticks, and a very slight case of mange.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2. Commas separate two independent clauses connected by a coordinating conjunction (and, or, nor,
but, so...,) and the comma goes IN FRONT of the word -- not behind it!

Several vampires were writhing on the dance floor, and a dozen more were scattered about the bar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3. Commas set off introductory clauses and phrases.

When the gargoyle crashed through the plate glass window, the housewife handed him the broom to
clean up his mess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4. Commas set off non-restrictive (non-essential) clauses, phrases, and modifiers from the rest of the
sentence.

a) The restrictive (essential) clause:

Two fallen angels, who frequently dangled from the church tower, were throwing rotten tomatoes at the
gargoyles.

a) Non-restrictive (non-essential) clause:

Chateau Dracula, located in the green hills of Tuscany, hosted the vampire prince's inauguration.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5. Commas separate descriptive modifiers of equal rank. If you can use your adjectives interchangeably
and can put in an "and" between them, put the comma there.

The Court simply could not predict the next activity of the fickle, explosive vampire queen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6. Commas set off parenthetical expressions. (Stuff that could be put in parentheses, but isn't.)

The werewolf council members, you may recall, voted themselves a thirty-five percent pay increase last
year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

7. Commas are used when the absence of a pause can cause confusion.
For the ghosts that haunted the chateau, moving the chairs around in the dining room was exhausting
work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8. Commas are used to set off participle phrases that modify some part of the independent clause.

The Vampire Court adjourned, having successfully defeated the bill that would have taxed imported
medical blood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doing it WRONG

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. DON'T use a comma to separate two independent clauses WITHOUT a coordinating conjunction.
Doing this makes a "comma splice."

WRONG: The number of vampires dropped by 3 percent, the werewolf population rate stayed constant.

a. Instead of a Comma, try using a semicolon(;):

The number of vampires dropped by 3 percent; the werewolf population rate stayed constant.

b. Instead of a Comma, try using a coordinating conjunction (and, or, nor, but, so...,) with a comma
BEFORE it:

The number of vampires dropped by 3 percent, but the werewolf population rate stayed constant.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2. DON'T use a comma to introduce a subordinate clause. (Putting a comma before the word "because"
is one of the biggest offenders.)

The vampire princess decided to visit the protest site because she needed a first hand report.

The vampire princess decided to visit the protest site (subordinate clause -- > because she needed a first
hand report.

But...! If the subordinate clause is being used to introduce the sentence, a comma does go at the end of
the introductory phrase.

Because she needed a firsthand report, the vampire princess decided to visit the protest site.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3. DON'T use a comma to separate a noun or pronoun from its reflexive (myself, himself, herself).
The werewolf king himself will discipline the pack.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4. DON'T use a comma between a word and a phrase to create a "false series."

Example of a confusing False Series:

The archeologists discovered seven bodies, six medieval knights, and one court jester.

(WOW! That's a lot of bodies!)

In proper perspective using an m-dash:

The archeologists discovered seven bodies -- six medieval knights, and one court jester.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5. DON'T use a comma IN FRONT of a partial quotation.

The candidate for court wizard charged that the incumbent was "a charlatan of the lowest order."

BUT...! If the quotation is a full sentence, you DO use a comma –- in front of it:

The incumbent for court wizard asked, "How would you like to spend the rest of your existence as a leaky
pot?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Exercises: Where do the following sentences need commas?

(This ISN'T an assignment, you are Not expected to turn in your answers!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Teratology the study of deformities derives its name from the Greek word for monster.

2. Hearing the wolf howl caused Zach to look up in anticipation and delight.

3. Gothic music has a distinctly European sound yet it has often received more attention in Tokyo than in
Paris.

4. All roads may lead to Rome but the vampire and his designated victim got hopelessly lost trying to
drive there from Naples.
5. Dracula Tower one of the finest examples of soaring art deco yet gothic architecture in America is
located in New York New York.

6. The most hard working of all the haunts in the chateau she despaired when others received
substantially higher praise.

7. You know I can't tolerate such behavior Vladimir.

8. Exhausted and penniless the vampire stared at the brightly lit interior imagining a warm fire a bed
with clean white linens and a willing Reubenesque victim wearing nothing but handcuffs and a smile.

9. It was a charming older home whose medieval decor enhanced its gothic character.
Sentence Structure for FICTION
On Basic Sentence Structure for Fiction

(Grammar Nazis BEWARE!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything I ever learned about writing Fiction DIDN'T come from school; not even college. In fact, the
way one writes fiction is almost the complete opposite of everything I learned in school about writing.

In order to make my stories crystal clear in my readers' imaginations, I write in precise Chronological
Order, in the order events actually happen, PLUS in the order that the eye sees it.

Case in point, when describing a character, I describe them from top to bottom, in the order that the eye
notices them. Face, hair, upper body, arms, hands, then lower body, legs, feet, then over all impression.
<-- In that order, UNLESS a body part is doing an action, such as a hand (grasping, slapping, twiddling a
pencil, etc…) or the feet, (walking, jumping, kicking, running, etc…) When someone is doing an action,
that action ALWAYS comes first.

Try it yourself. Go to the mall, or any other place where people gather, and LOOK at the people around
you. Pay close attention to what you notice first then next. Next, watch a movie and look at how the
camera pans across someone.

-- Top to bottom = friendly

-- Bottom to top = sexual

-- Hands (weapons) to top to bottom = fearful/threatened

THAT'S how it should appear on the page because THAT'S how it will appear in your readers'
imaginations.

-- Example:

He flipped up his middle finger, narrowed his green eyes, and tightened his full mouth. His red hair
spilled in messy finger-combed spikes across his brow and down his back. His shoulders were stiff with
tension under his dirty white t-shirt. He stood with his booted feet apart and his jean-clan knees slightly
bent as though braced for a punch.
And yet…

-- Writing in chronological order means that your sentence structure can't always conform to the 'proper
grammar' rules. This is because the basic composition of an Essay <-- what they teach you to write in
class, isn't anything like the composition of a Story.

Essay composition:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Tell them what you're going to tell them.

2. Tell them in detail.

3. Tell them why you told them.

Story composition:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. What happened first.

2. What happened next.

3. What happened after.

Essays are NOT written in Chronological order, they're written in order of Impact.

Essay:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. This is Important!

2. These are all the reasons why it's important.

3. This is why it's important to You.

See the difference?

One of the greatest enemies of fiction that one is actually taught in school is the use of the word: "as."

The Evil "As."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In school, they teach you that "as" is a word used to connect fragments of sentences together, rather in
the same way as you would use "and." Unfortunately, "as" doesn't quite work the same way as an "and"
in fiction.

-- "As" means, "things that happened simultaneously."

-- "And" means, "this happened next."

In Fiction NOTHING is truly simultaneous because the eye READS only one thing at a time. The only
things that can actually be counted as simultaneous in written fiction are groups of things.

-- Example:

All the soldiers marched.

(And I didn't even need an "as.")

Edit: I'm not saying that simultaneous events CAN'T be written, it's that using "as" is not the way to do it.
Any group of events listed in one sentence are generally perceived as happening all at the same time --
until you get to the "and". However, they should still be listed in the order in which they happened so as
to make the reader's VISION of the whole event crystal clear.

As far as I'm concerned, the only place an "as" belongs is at the BEGINNING of a sentence.

-- Example:

As all the soldiers marched, the drums and fifes played.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

See?

Where "As" goes WRONG…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I consider "as" a red flag word. A word that marks that something has gone terribly wrong in my
sentence structure.

What went wrong?

-- In fiction, the word "as" usually marks where a sentence has gone Out of Chronological Order.

-- Example:
The vampire scratched his head thoughtfully as he crouched over his victim.

Think: Which actions actually happened first?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. The vampire crouched over his victim.

2. He scratched his head thoughtfully.

The chronological way to write this would be:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The vampire crouched over his victim AND scratched his head thoughtfully.

Why does this matter?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- A sentence Out of Chronological Order means that the reader has to Stop Reading to reset their
mental movie of your story. Every time this happens, the reader has to stop, reread, then reset their
imagination. In short, it makes your story more Work than Fun to read. That's bad, very, very, BAD. Do
this enough times and your reader will stop reading your story to go find something easier to imagine. In
fact, some readers will not only drop your story, never to read it again, they'll avoid anything else you
write.

How to Grammar Check for "as":

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do a Search/Replace substituting "as" for "and," then go back and read through your entire work.

If "and" doesn't read right in your sentence, then the sentence is most likely Out of Chronological Order.

-- Example:

The werewolf flattened his ears angrily as he faced the hunter.

~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Search/Replace:

The werewolf flattened his ears angrily and he faced the hunter.
~~~~~~~~~~~

"And" doesn't quite work there, does it?

What's wrong?

-- As written, that sentence implies that the werewolf flattened his ears THEN faced the hunter -- which
is Not what happened.

Which actions actually happened first?

~~~~~~~~~~~

1. The werewolf faced the hunter.

2. He was angry.

2. He flattened his ears.

-- Adjusted:

The werewolf faced the hunter and he angrily flattened his ears.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Now the "he" doesn't fit, so let's chop that out.

-- One more time:

The werewolf faced the hunter and angrily flattened his ears.

~~~~~~~~~~~

See what I mean?

Rule of Thumb on the use of "AND":

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One "and" per sentence. If you need a second "and," pull out the first one and use a comma, or use
"then."
-- Example with comma:

The werewolf faced the hunter, angrily flattened his ears, and growled.

~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Example with "then":

The werewolf faced the hunter, angrily flattened his ears, then growled.

~~~~~~~~~~~

If you need three "ands," replace all but the last with commas.

-- Example:

The werewolf faced the hunter, angrily flattened his ears, growled, and lunged.

~~~~~~~~~~~

If you need more than three "ands," then it's time to cut it into two separate sentences.

-- Example:

The werewolf faced the hunter, angrily flattened his ears, and growled. He lunged and snapped.

~~~~~~~~~~~

In Conclusion…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Fiction should ALWAYS be written in Chronological Order, even when the grammar rules say that you
don't have to for your readers' Visual CLARITY. Believe me, they'll appreciate it!
The Secret to Proper Paragraphing

Once you know what your characters and doing and saying, how do you get all that down on Paper
without ending up with a huge confusing mess?

Putting the Story on Paper.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everybody knows that when a new speaker speaks they get a new paragraph, right? In other words, you
DON'T put two different people talking in the same paragraph. Okay, yeah, so anyone who has written
any kind of fiction learns this pretty darned quick, (usually from their readers.)

What nobody seems to get is that the same goes for a new character's ACTIONS. Seriously, when a new
character ACTS they're supposed to get their own paragraph -- even if they don't speak!

In short, you paragraph by change in CHARACTER -- not because they speak, but because they ACT.
Ahem... Dialogue is an ACTION. In other words, the reason you don't put two different characters'
Dialogue in the same paragraph is BECAUSE you don't mix two characters' Actions. Okay?

"Wait a minute, doesn't that cut everything into tiny bits, you know, when you cut all the dialogue away
then divide up all those paragraphs?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No because Character A's dialogue is supposed to be IN Character A's paragraph of actions. Character B
gets his own paragraph of dialogue AND actions. You divide up a story's paragraphs by individual
Character -- not by individual lines of Dialogue OR Actions.

What you definitely don't do, is cut all the dialogue away from everything and mash all the different
characters' actions together in one messy paragraph where no one can tell who did what.

"Where the heck did THAT rule come from?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Strunk & White's Element's of Style, the grammar handbook.

To wit…

-- "In dialogue, each speech, even if only a single word, is a paragraph by itself; that is, a new paragraph
begins with each change of speaker."

This is often misinterpreted as "Make a new paragraph at every new line of dialogue."

Um... No. The key phrase here is "a new paragraph begins with Each Change of Speaker."

As long as the Speaker is Acting, the Speaker HAS NOT CHANGED. However, every time a new character
Acts, you ARE Changing Speakers -- even if they don't talk! Therefore, each new character ACTING gets a
New Paragraph, whether or not they have dialogue.

How this works...

WRONG:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised, and Becky's blush grew brighter,
creeping down her neck. < -- Two Characters acting in the same paragraph.>

Becky mumbled, "I wouldn't so much say named, as gave it an identifying word to distinguish it from all
the other stuffed cute kitty plushies." < -- this whole line is Abandoned Dialogue.>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RIGHT:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised. "You named a stuffed animal?"

Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck. "I wouldn't so much say named, as gave it an
identifying word to distinguish it from all the other stuffed cute kitty plushies."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's Missing?

-- 'Becky mumbled'. <-- This is an unnecessary Dialogue tag. Once you link a character's Dialogue to their
corresponding Actions, you no longer need the Dialogue tags.
If you really, really want to add that Becky mumbled her words, describe it as an action. Don't TELL us
that she mumbled, SHOW us.

Example:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck. Her voice dropped to a mumble. "I wouldn't so
much say named, as gave an identifying word to distinguish it from all the other stuffed cute kitty
plushies."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-----Original Message-----

"What if the next internals and action/dialogue are his, like:"

"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised, and Becky's blush grew brighter,
creeping down her neck. Her reaction was adorable and he couldn't resist needling her some more. "I
thought you hated stuffies."

"Then can you lump those actions together?"

-- Thanks in advance -- Jas

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Um... NO.

-- Remember this?

"…A new paragraph begins with Each Change of Speaker."

-- When a new character ACTS they're supposed to get a new paragraph.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised, and <-- Toby's Actions / Becky's
Actions --> Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck.
Becky didn't say anything, but she IS acting -- a blush is an action -- therefore Becky gets her OWN
paragraph.

Adjusted:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised.

Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck.

However, this is incorrect too:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised.

Actions go BEFORE Reactions Toby was surprised so he commented: "You named a stuffed animal?" He
didn't comment and THEN become surprised.

Adjusted:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised. "You named a stuffed animal?

All together now!

Original:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You named a stuffed animal?" Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised, and Becky's blush grew brighter,
creeping down her neck. Her reaction was adorable and he couldn't resist needling her some more. "I
thought you hated stuffies."

Adjusted:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby raised his eyebrows, surprised. "You named a stuffed animal?"

Becky's blush grew brighter, creeping down her neck.

Her reaction was so adorable, Toby couldn't resist needling her some more. "I thought you hated
stuffies?"

-----Original Message-----

"But when you do that, it looks so...choppy on the page. There's ton's of empty white space!"

-- Hates Empty Space

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, it looks choppy on the page, but its Far More Important that there is absolutely no doubt in anyone's
mind as to who is acting and who is speaking.

Another Example:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Don't help me. I'm fine by myself," she told him, not bothering to be polite. He looked surprised and
perhaps a little hurt. She heard another voice.

"Geez, you're pretty full of yourself, aren't you?" She got to her feet and brushed herself off, glancing in
the direction of the newcomer. She nearly recoiled in shock. Another handsome guy. He crossed his arms
over his chest. "He was just trying to help you." He told her. She readjusted her bag and said.

"I don't recall asking for help."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the way, once you separate each of your character's actions into new paragraphs and reconnect each
character's dialogue to their actions, you won't need dialogue tags such as "said" because your
character's actions are the identifiers for your dialogue.

With actions separated & dialogue attached.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Don't help me. I'm fine by myself." She didn't bother to be polite.

He looked surprised and perhaps a little hurt.

A new voice called out. "Geez, you're pretty full of yourself, aren't you?"

She got to her feet and brushed herself off, glancing in the direction of the newcomer. Another
handsome guy. She nearly recoiled in shock.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "He was just trying to help you."

She readjusted her bag. "I don't recall asking for help."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you truly loathe all that white space, then fill it in with more actions, description, and internal
narration observations.

-----Original Message-----

But what about when someone is watching someone else, or feeling someone do something to them? --
Concerned about Observation

This seems perfectly fine, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He watched her shake her butt.

He felt her skin move against his.

However, once you take this into account:

"…A new paragraph begins with Each Change of Speaker."

-- When a new character ACTS they're supposed to get a new paragraph.

Not so fine after all. You have two people acting in the same line -- in Both Cases.

The way around this little gem of a problem, is to SHOW the event by character rather than TELL it in one
lump.

You begin by dividing the actions by Character:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He watched her.

She shook her butt and her skin moved against his.

He felt it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seems kind'a…short eh? That's because those lines TOLD you what happened, instead of Showing you
what happened, so there are all kinds of details missing. Once you add enough details to paint a whole
picture…

Adjusted:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From his seat at the edge of the stage, he watched her.

Tall, svelte, and in the skimpiest bathing suit he'd ever seen, she moved in close and shook her butt. The
round, firm flesh jiggled enticingly against his face.

His cheeks were subjected to the most incredible, though slightly sweaty, facial massage ever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

KILL the Dialogue Tags. (Seriously.)

-- When you have an action with a line of dialogue, you don't need Dialogue tags, such as "he said" -- at
all. You already know through their actions WHO is speaking.

Dialogue tags are only ever needed when you don't have any other way of identifying the speaker.

HOWEVER, if you have no other way of knowing who is speaking than dialogue tags, then you have
committed the heinous crime of:

Dialogue in a Vacuum

- Also known as "talking heads syndrome."

A book with nothing but reams of dialogue marked only by dialogue tags means that while people may
be talking, there is no PICTURE. The mental movie has stopped and only the sound-track is playing.
Compare it to a Radio Show with no sound effects.

I don't know about you, but when I go to read a story, I want to SEE what I'm reading like a movie, not
listen to a radio show.
Memorize this:

Readers always interpret what they read the way they want to see it -- unless you SHOW them what you
envisioned.

In other words…

What CAN be misunderstood -- WILL be misunderstood.

Leave Nothing to Misinterpretation.

-- Readers will ALWAYS make whatever assumptions come to mind about what they are reading. When a
reader realizes that what they thought was going on -- wasn't, they'll get confused, and occasionally
pissed off.

Unmarked blocks of dialogue are painfully EASY to get lost in.

I remember reading one whole page of un-tagged action-less dialogue only to find out that I had two of
the characters reversed. Did I reread that whole page to figure out what was going on? Hell no! I tossed
the book across the room. (In fact, it's still on the floor gathering dust bunnies.)

"But, isn't that's what 'said' and other dialogue tags are for?"

Just for the record...

-- Using dialogue tags is Not against the rules. Dialogue tags are a perfectly viable way to identify who is
speaking -- it just makes that part of the story BORING. (I don't know about you, but I won't read
something that bores me.)

I choose to write my dialogue without using "said" unless I am actually describing a change in voice,
tone, or volume in the same paragraph. And even then, I try to avoid them. I use the speaker's actions to
define who is speaking to whom.

I use ACTION TAGS.

"What the heck is an Action Tag?"

BODY LANGUAGE

Language is Visual not just a bunch of words. Watch the average conversation between two people. 90%
of that conversation isn't in what's spoken, it's in what they are DOING as they are speaking. It's in their
Body Language. Body-language cues the reader as to what is going on in a character's head – in
ADDITION to dialogue and internal narrative.
Action and body-language tags on dialogue are Not just for decoration.

-- Stories are Mental Movies you play in your imagination. I don't know about you, but I HATE to be
interrupted when I'm involved in a good movie. If I have to stop and reread a section just to figure out
what the heck is going on, I've been interrupted. One too many interruptions and I'm switching to
another story -- with no intention of continuing with something that's just too much work to get
through.

Action tags keep the mental Movie rolling and the MEANING of what is being said crystal clear. A small
simple action can tell you right away, what's going through the speaker's head.

Don't just SAY it! ~ SHOW IT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I love you too." She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. "Oh yes, I truly do love you."

"I love you too." She dropped her chin and pouted. "Oh yes, I truly do love you."

"I love you too." She glared straight at him. "Oh yes, I truly do love you."

"I love you too." She turned away and wiped the tear from her cheek. "Oh yes, I truly do love you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHY I loathe the word "said".

- To be perfectly clear, it's not JUST the word 'said', I hate ALL Dialogue Tags inclusively. I utterly refuse to
use them.

Why?

- Because they're wasteful. They clutter up dialogue while slowing down actions, and they use up word-
count that could be far better used elsewhere.

I don't believe in putting anything in my fiction that isn't useful. If it doesn't add to the character or the
plot, it gets eradicated. Dialogue tags are too easily replaced by something that actually adds to the
story, such as an action, a facial expression, a spot of description, or a character's opinions.

Just for the record, I write extremely dialogue-heavy fiction. When I find that a dialogue tag is indeed
needed in my story to identify who is talking, I see it as a red flag that indicates that all action has come
to a screeching halt. Nothing is Happening other than talking; also known as: Talking Heads Syndrome.
When that happens, I find some way to fill that space with something useful to the story such as an
action, a facial expression, a spot of description, or a character's opinions -- ANYTHING other than a
dialogue tag.

But those are MY feelings on the subject.

-- Your mileage may vary.

Dialogue tags ARE a legitimate form of sentence structure. When there is no other way to identify a
speaker, dialogue tags are indeed a viable option.

What about Punctuation for Dialogue?

- Go here:

theeditorsblog.net/2010/12/08/…

Read that.

Paragraph Aesthetics

-----Original Message-----

"I suppose the issue I have is with the aesthetics of paragraphing. Though text is not comparable to a
visual medium such as film, it is still something that we have to view with our eyes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Actually, text aesthetics -- the way the words appear on the page -- seems to be a HUGE bone of
contention.

-----Original Message-----

"...The way I see it, your example suggests that I break my text up into a lot of little paragraphs. Given
this understanding, in a scene rich with alternating action, it looks like I'll be left with a lot of one-line
paragraphs. ...I'd greatly appreciate it if you clarified this situation. I suppose that is the trouble with
having to jot down the basics, you can't expand on the little details of the rule. ^_^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paragraph Aesthetics - Illustrated

-- The way a story appears on a standard 9.5 x 11 inch piece of paper is NOT the way to judge whether or
not one's paragraphs are too long or too short. A story viewed on a browser page carries even less
weight.

Why not?

-- Because Fiction is generally printed on pages HALF the size of a full sheet of paper. What appears to be
a lot of short little paragraphs on the "internet page," are NOT so short or so little once you put them on
the Printed page.

The standard sizes for printed Fiction are: paperback (4.25 x 6.75 inches), and trade paperback (5.5 x
8.25 inches.) Hard-cover books use the same size page as a Trade. Only coffee-table books possess
printed pages anywhere near the size of a standard sheet of paper.

Visual Aids:

ALL examples are 12 pt. Times New Roman font.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Standard Paperback 6.75 x 4.25, 1/2 inch margins:

i426.photobucket.com/albums/pp…

Trade paperback 5.5 x 8.25, 1/2 inch margins:

i426.photobucket.com/albums/pp…

Standard sheet of paper 8.5" x 11", 1 inch margins:

i426.photobucket.com/albums/pp…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personally, I could care less what my text looks like on the page. As far as I'm concerned, making the
story as clear and easy to read as possible is far more important to me than what the text looks like. If I
have done my job well, no one will even notice the words - only the story unfolding in their imaginations.

As for internet reading, I'm completely baffled why anyone would care how it looks on the browser page.
All you have to do is narrow the window and the text adjusts.

-----Original Message-----
"Also, I hope you don't mind, but did you come up with the rules yourself, through experience and trial
and error, publisher's advice, or is there a handy guide I can employ? Obviously, I quite loyally follow
Strunk and White, but I don't think it talks about this subject much. Is there a book that YOU use?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's start here:

"...did you come up with the rules yourself, through experience and trial and error, publisher's advice...?"

YES - to all of the above, plus editor hounding and long chats with a number of extremely well-
established fiction authors. In addition, I've read a crap-load of how-to books. I'm pretty sure I own, and
have practically memorized, just about every book "Writer's Digest" has put out.

My writing advice posts are the results of taking all the info I'd crammed into my head and condensing it
into small bite-sized, chewable, pieces that are easy to remember and much easier to apply. Rather than
waste people's time on theory, I focus on application.

As for recommended reads...

-- Unfortunately, there is no one guide that shows it all. Not One. However, there are two books I can't
praise highly enough. As far as I'm concerned, they are VITAL reading for fiction writing.

SCENE & STRUCTURE by Jack. M. Bickham

THE WRITER'S JOURNEY by Christopher Vogler

-- (Google is your friend.)

There are lots of other books I could recommend, but these are the two "Must Haves" if an author really,
REALLY wants to write fiction well.

Interior Monologues
"I was just wondering what you think about interior monologues, long passages of reflection?" --
Curious Kitty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A note on:

-- Interior Monologues

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whether you are considering adding a lengthy monologue to a story, or intend the monologue to be the
story itself where the focus of the entire story is on one character's thoughts and feelings with very little
action -- from my observations and experimentation, the readers either love them or hate them. There's
no in-between.

However, it is notable that the internal monologue stories that are sought out most frequently tend to
focus on a profound emotion of some kind: grief, loneliness, heartache... Usually by either those seeking
to deal with such an emotion, as a kind of therapy, or by those that have never felt such emotions.
(Strong emotional stories are extremely popular among young adults.)

In both cases, not only does the reader seek to submerge themselves in these profound emotions, they
are also looking for a solution, a way back out from under these feelings.

In other words, one shouldn't try to tackle something like this unless one already has a solution to the
story problem in mind. (You really don't want the hate mail that will come when the readers are left
hanging.)

I'm an escapist by nature, so I fall into the other category -- those that can only handle interior
monologues in extremely tiny doses. I prefer my emotional deep thoughts mixed in with the character
doing something; an action scene flavored by internal narration, rather than a whole story told in
monologue form.

Being older (in my 40's,) I've actually had to deal with these sorts of emotions; death, grief, heartache,
loss... on a far too personal basis, so dwelling on them (reading long emotional passages,) isn't
something I'm comfortable with.

Interestingly enough, the scanlated Japanese novellas that I've been reading seem to be almost solid
immersions into emotion with action sprinkled in to give it a sense of motion -- even if the motion is
merely circular.

However, one should take into account that scanlations are extremely subjective. They're chosen for
their appeal to the English-reading folks scanlating the story, so there's no way to tell of this is a common
Japanese style, or merely a sign of the scanlators' preferences.
In Conclusion…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When deciding whether or not your monologue is appropriate for what you are writing, consider your
target Reading Audience.

If you're writing a story steeped in emotional upswings such as a Romance, lengthy monologues steeped
in strong emotions will probably fit right in. However, if you're writing something with lots of action such
as an Adventure, you just might want to consider sprinkling bits of light action among your passages of
deep thought to keep it from dragging down the pace you've already set for your story.

10 Second Tip - Foreshadowing

------Original Message------

I hear the term 'foreshadowing' a lot. That's when you hint at stuff to come, right? So yeah, but how do I
DO it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Foreshadowing is when the opening scene of a story is a kind of nutshell prophecy for the whole story.

* In a Horror, this is when the originating Bad Thing happens.

* In a Mystery or Crime story, it's when the first victim is slain, and/or object (McGuffin) goes missing.

* In a Romance this is where the main character meets their soon-to-be lover for a fleeting but
memorable moment.

* In a Sci-fi, this is where the ruling Theory is presented.

* In a Gothic, this is where the main character transforms into a monster for the first time.

This also reveals the Premise, or ruling argument that the story is trying to illustrate; what the story is
trying to Prove.

• The results of Revenge

• The path of Ambition

• The reality of Love

• The sacrifices one makes for Science

• The pain of being Different

The Story

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meat of the story should fulfill that prophecy using twists, turns, and surprises that compel the
reader to Keep Reading to discover 'what's really going on?' Never forget: The readers DON'T want to see
what's coming. They want to figure it out THEMSELVES.

However, if you intend to use (what looks like) chance and coincidence to move your plot you're going to
need careful preparation. Using deus ex machina (situations, objects, and helpers that were just
suddenly THERE without explanation,) is unacceptable. The author should NEVER pull a rabbit out of
their hat simply to rescue their hero.
The trick is to put the plot element into your story EARLY without making the reader aware of its
importance. Never telegraph your punches. Every choice made MUST seem logical for that character.

The Ending

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last part is what that prophecy brought about--what happened BECAUSE of the events in the story.

* Were the guilty punished?

* Was the lost object or person found? Plus who did it and why?

* Did the lover gain the attention of their beloved?

* Was the scientific theory convincing? (Or horrifying enough?)

* Did the monster reconcile with their nature?

Always complete each circle you began. Solve EVERY problem presented, no matter how small. Any
unsolved problems become Plot Holes your readers WILL notice and call you on. "Hey, whatever
happened with...?"

The easiest way to do this is by keeping your Main cast SMALL.

* Hero

* Ally (buddy or lover)

* Villain

Side characters are those who occupy places in the story: the waitress, parents, coworkers, the beat
cops..., but don't actually change anything. Main characters are the characters whose actions actually
affect the plot.

The more Main characters you have, the more problems you add--which means the more story you have
to write to solve those problems.
Your Character TOO Special?

Is your Special Character TOO SPECIAL?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you indulging in a few too many "special traits"? Is your story really an excuse to show off your Super
Special Character? Are you committing a MARY-SUE/GARY STUE?

--> Dead give-away: Your favorite character is YOU only BETTER!

Who is Mary Sue/Gary Stue?

According to SubReality.com:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mary Sue / Gary Stue is any original or deeply altered character who represents a slice of their creator's
own ego; they are treasured by their creator but only rarely by anyone else. A Mary Sue/Gary Stue is a
primadonna (usually, but not always badly-written,) who saps life and realism out of every other
character around, taking over the plot and bending canon to serve their selfish purposes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- For more details:

www.subreality.com/marysue.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Mary Sue/Gary Stue "Self-Insertion" in Manga Fan-fiction:

According to Aestheticism.com:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The Mary Sue <Gary Stue>, as someone said, is the highest form of fannish devotion to a series. You like
it so much you want to come play in it yourself. Most fan writers are content to do this by sneaking in
under cover of one of the canon characters.

Slipping on my Hakkai mask, I jump in the jeep and set out for the west with Sanzou and the guyz,
pretending all along that it's Hakkai telling the story I'm writing and not me at all.

Havers. *Of course* it's me and not Hakkai…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- For more details:

www.aestheticism.com/visitors/…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Too many Special traits spoil the Character.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While not every "super-special!!!" character is actually a Mary-Sue/Gary Stue, they fall under the same
rules because when one makes a "larger than life" character, they tend to be unbalanced and quite
frankly, no fun to read. Think Superman without Kryptonite. When you have a character that never loses,
you might as well write:

• Hero meets bad-guy.

• They fight.

• Hero wins. The end.

Where's the fun in that? Where's the challenge? Where's the surprise? Where's the suffering?

This is also known as Godmoding.

According to Burning Dumpster:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Godmoding: "Take the Mary Poppins slogan "Practically Perfect in Every Way" and remove the
'practically'. They're perfect little characters with no real flaws that can do whatever the hell they like. No
one can contradict them or oppose them because they're always right. In fan-fiction, they're boring. In
PBEM, they are a royal pain in the ass. Also known as an 'avatar'."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- For more details:

www.kalime.com/burn/index.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Think: How many 'special' traits does your pet character have? Let's find out!

• Take this test:

www.katfeete.net/writing/marys…

Or this one! (Thank you, Tansyuduri!)

www.springhole.net/writing/mar…
Despite all this, God-mode Mary Sue/Gary Stue characters AREN'T necessarily a bad thing. In fact, Mary
Sue/Gary Stue is an excellent way for a beginning writer to experiment with story-telling. In fact, it's the
most common way a writer begins writing anything at all.

Key word: Begin -- not End.

God-mode, Mary Sue/Gary Stue (especially under the thin veneer of a favorite Manga character) only
becomes a problem when one posts them on the Fan-Fiction sites where Readers can see them and
Flame them for being too unbelievably perfect to identify with and/or too Out of Character (OOC).

So what do you do to keep your characters from falling into the black hole of Mary Sue/Gary Stue-ism?

Exercise your experience - but don't fall in!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Story is nothing without good strong characters, but if you can't use yourself, how do you write about
the feelings of someone else? You Empathize -- you recall how you felt under similar circumstances -- but
you don't BECOME that character.

Examples…

The Lost Boys:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael is watching the girl of his dreams climb onto another guy's motorcycle. She doesn't look happy
about it, but she does it anyway.

The other guy, David turns to Michael and invites him to come along.

Michel's motorcycle is only a dirt bike. There's no way in hell his bike can surpass David's.

David smiles. "You don't have to beat me. You just have to keep up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is Michael feeling through all this?

The Matrix:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Neo has just received a Fed Ex package with a cell phone in it. He's looking at it when it starts to ring in
his hand. He answers it.

"Neo, this is Morpheus. You have to get out of there. Now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is Neo feeling through all this?

Underworld:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael has had one hell of a day. There was a shooting at the train station, and crap at his hospital job,
and then when he goes home, he finds a really beautiful and incredibly strong girl who immediately tries
to strangle him in his apartment.

Moments later, he's running for his life from things galloping after him on the walls and ceiling. He
escapes into an elevator and the door closes. Then it opens.

A guy he's never seen before in his life smiles and says: "Hello Michael." Suddenly, bullets rip into the guy
right in front of him. The guy falls forward onto Michel and bites him.

Out of nowhere, the strong girl comes back and drags the weird guy off of him.

The weird guy bursts into laughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is Michael feeling through all this?

Making the Characters work WITH the Plot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There are roughly three essential characters in every story:

• A Protagonist with character traits designed to work AGAINST the plot.

• A sidekick to add complications and make matters worse.

• A Villain that the hero absolutely Cannot beat when the hero first enters the fray.
The hero and the villain should change and develop as the story progresses to allow the hero a toe-hold
chance, and no more, to win. The rest of the cast may or may not have personal growth, but the hero
and the villain must. This is where dramatic tension is generated.

Changing takes suffering. Both the hero and the villain should suffer emotionally and physically to allow
for their personal changes. Think about how hard it is for YOU to change your mind about something
important to you. That's the level of suffering you need.

If this seems a little formulaic, remember, it's not what you HAVE it's what you DO with it.

Let's look at two different movies:

The Matrix -- Urban Fantasy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• A Protagonist with character traits designed to work AGAINST the plot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neo is a quiet computer hacker. He deals in facts, not fantasy. He's not an action kind of guy, but
everyone thinks he's supposed to save the world. He thinks they're wrong.

• A sidekick to add complications and make matters worse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Both Morpheus and Trinity believe in him, to the point that they keep risking their lives so he has to keep
saving them.

• A Villain that the hero absolutely Cannot beat when the hero first enters the fray.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Matrix is a sentient mega-verse. Mr. Smith is a replicating Virus. Both are bound and determined to
keep all of humanity deaf, dumb, and blind to what's being done to them.

The Lost Boys – Vampire

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• A Protagonist with character traits designed to work AGAINST the plot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael desperately wants to fit in with a motorcycle gang that rules the entire town because he likes
the girl that hangs with them. Michael does not believe in Vampires.

• A sidekick to add complications and make matters worse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael has a nosy younger brother who is terrified of vampires.

• A Villain that the hero absolutely Cannot beat when the hero first enters the fray.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael absolutely positively cannot defeat an entire gang of Vampires.

In Conclusion…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Make your Characters part of your story, not the Excuse for your story. Give them pain, give them
heartache, and make them face their fears. Anything less cheats the reader out of some good healthy
angst!

Writing DESCRIPTION

Tricks for Writing DESCRIPTION

------------- Original Message -----------

"I think the biggest problem I have is lack of detail. I can see things in my head, but other than the
general surroundings, I'm always too intent on what my characters are thinking, or doing, or about to do
to remember to add the details necessary to paint a really clear picture of where they are and their
environment." -- Wanna Rite Reel Gud

The way to deal with that is by writing what you can. When you're done, go back and put in all the rest.
Also, in situations like this, a beta-reader is your best bet at seeing where you skipped something.

As for What to describe and How Much to describe…

Getting the IMAGE on Paper

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Avoid Simple Nouns:

- Use a Specific Noun rather than a simple and vague noun to automatically pop in description.

Instead of: the door, the car, the tree, the house, the sword, the robe, the hat...

Write: the French doors, the Subaru, the oak, the Victorian cottage, the claymore, the yukata, the
fedora...

Adjectives are your Friend!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Adjectives give your objects and locations emotional flavor and impact. The trick is not to over-do it!
Moderation - moderation - moderation.

One adjective per Noun:

- ADD an Adjective to a specific Noun. The ornate French tapestry, the rusty Subaru, the quaint Victorian
cottage, the gleaming claymore, the blood-stained yukata, the gray fedora.

Two adjectives per Sensation:

- Sight, Sound, Taste, Texture, Scent - are all perceived through the senses. The glaringly red French
doors, the seductively throbbing jazz, the creamy bite of yogurt, the nubby white dishcloth, the pungent
musk of wet dog.

------------- Original Message -----------

"...I think that particularly striking or important items deserve a few sentences to sketch them in and give
the appropriate details. Still, for many scenes, most readers have enough 'stock imagery' in their
memories to supply a working interpretation. They will garb members of a corporate meeting in dark
suits, give soldiers rifles or spears depending on the era and place, and so on." -- Literature Aficionado

Absolutely! Using a direct noun with only one or two adjectives can create an entire image.

Members of a corporate meeting:

- His shimmering black Armani suit

- Her expensively tailored scarlet Kaspar suit

Soldiers

- The red-coated British soldier

- The Roman centurion

- The woad-painted Celtic warrior

- The Viking

Buildings

- The gleaming steel and glass skyscraper

- The run-down Victorian mansion

- The towering Chinese pagoda

- The rustic Japanese sukiya cottage

The Not-So Dreaded -ly and –ing Words:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Every once in a while you will hear someone whine that you shouldn't use words that end in –ly or -ing.
The "No -ly or –ing words!" whiners are usually the same people that say: "Don't use Adjectives!"

Think people, how the heck are you supposed to describe something without adjectives? You CAN'T.
The "No -ly or –ing Words" rule DOES NOT APPLY to Fiction!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- This rule comes from Basic School Grammar - grammar that was intended for NON-Fiction, such as
reports, essays, and other boring, description-less, education-related, or business-related writing that
doesn't require description. Fiction THRIVES on description.

Still Feeling Guilty?

- If you can find another word that says the same thing without ending in -ly, use it. If you can't, then use
what you have.

Making the Reader FEEL the Passion -- Make the prose PURPLE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Sensually-Descriptive words are the key to Passionate and Romantic fiction. If it implies a Sense: sound,
taste, sight, texture, scent…, you're halfway there!

So, where do you get those passionate words? From Trained Professionals: Other Writers. I pulled out my
favorite trashy novels and hunted down phrases that really caught my attention and then I made a list of
all the PRETTY words.

salacious humor

carnal gratification

languorous bliss

shrieking culmination

disconcerting stimulation

brutal carnal rapture

exquisite torment

lustful cravings

irresolute yearning

skittish laughter

(It's Not plagiarism unless you are copying whole paragraphs word for word.)
I also dug through my thesaurus and made another list of all the adjectives I use over and over and
over...

Assault

- attack, advancing, aggressive, assailing, charging, incursion, inundated, invasion, offensive, onset,
onslaught, overwhelmed, ruinous, tempestuous, strike, violation,

Beautiful

- admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, bewitching, charming, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine,
elegant, enticing, exquisite, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, grand, magnificent, marvelous, pleasing,
radiant, ravishing, resplendent, splendid, stunning, sublime,

Dangerous

- alarming, critical, fatal, formidable, impending, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, perilous,
precarious, pressing, serious, terrible, threatening, treacherous, urgent, vulnerable, wicked,

Painful

- aching, agonizing, arduous, awful, biting, burning, caustic, dire, distressing, dreadful, excruciating,
extreme, grievous, inflamed, piercing, raw, sensitive, severe, sharp, tender, terrible, throbbing,
tormenting,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking for an Online thesaurus?

thesaurus.reference.com/

Thesaurus.Com

Just put the word you use too often in the search bar and pick a new one from the list that pops up!

------------- Original Message -----------

"I'm surprised the purple prose avocation didn't have people up in arms. That's normally frowned upon
here, but I think there's a difference between bad/overly done purple prose and vivid description." --
Fan-fiction Writer

I think the main problem with purple prose is when it goes on to the point of being ridiculous. Purple
prose is a lot like candy. Too much and it will make you sick to your stomach. Used in tiny amounts, a
word here or there, can add emotional punch to an otherwise clinically dry scene.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How & When to Describe It:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rule of Thumb #1:

-- The moment the Viewpoint Character notices it -- DESCRIBE IT!

Picture the scene in your head like a movie. If it shows up in your scene - it belongs on the page.

Rule of Thumb #2:

-- Description should always reflect the OPINION of the Viewpoint Character.

Oscar the Grouch is not going to see - or describe - a field of roses the same way as Big Bird. Darth
Vader's opinion (and description,) of Yoda is not going to resemble Luke Skywalker's.

Rule of Thumb #3:

- Limit your detailed descriptions to stuff that is Relevant.

How do you tell what's relevant & what's not? How IMPORTANT is it to the story? Will this
object/setting/character matter later?

* If it's Important, then describe it in loving detail.

* If it's only incidental, than only the tiniest sketch is needed.

Note: Fantasy Characters should get the opportunity to show off the full extent of their powers at least
once because those powers are Relevant to who that character is.
Rule of Thumb #4:

- Moderation! Moderation! Moderation!

Once you have described a setting or a person thoroughly, you don't need to keep describing them --
unless they change. A small clue here and there, such as keeping to specific nouns, will do.

WHAT to Describe:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scenery

- Every new scene should open with a snapshot of description that details the stage the action is about
to happen in.

No more than 60 words max. If you need more than that to describe your setting - splice it into your
Action.

Location Changes

- Every time the scenery changes: every new room, every new view, every new place they arrive at - gets
described; so the reader can see it, and experience it too.

Locations get 30 words max, because that's about how much the average person can catch in a single
look. The rest of the details should be mixed in between the actions and dialogue as the character gets a
better look around.

Note: Fantasy and Sci-Fi Require MORE description.

- In most sci-fi's and fantasies, the otherworldly SETTING is just as important as the characters because
the differences between Fantasy & Reality actually affect the plot -- such as things that are possible in a
Fantasy setting, but aren't in the normal world, and vice versa.

If your story is based in the normal world, and only the characters are fantastic, then the setting only
matters in their immediate location and how it affects them directly. For example, rain has more of an
immediate effect on characters than would sunshine - unless they're a vampire.

The snapshot at the beginning of every scene is still the same length (60 words) - but you have to
continue to add more description as the characters move through the world.

------------- Original Message -----------

"It's also a good idea to visit a place that is similar to the scene of the happenings; if you can of course.
You can't well describe something you don't have an idea of." -- Word Scholar

Nothing can replace first-hand experience for describing something, but one should never underestimate
the power of the Internet.

Just about any place in the world is available for your viewing pleasure from photographs and interactive
panoramas to maps and floor plans. Journal blogs written by travelers can also be a really good resource
for those writing about places they have never experienced.

No one resource will ever cover it all, but then that's what browsers such as Google.com are for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

People

- Think of how you see characters in a movie -- the way that the camera pans across the characters.
THAT'S how you describe the people your character sees. Start at the top and describe down. Bottom to
Top description implies that the Body is more important than the Mind. It implies that the person being
viewed is an OBJECT, their feelings are of no consequence to the viewer.

People get three whole sentences max. If you need more than three sentences, thread the rest in with
the dialogue and action.

------------- Original Message -----------

"While it may be convenient and easy to describe someone from head to toe every time, it gets dull after
the second or third such 'shot'..." -- Literature Aficionado

No argument there. However, it's a good idea to describe the characters and their settings at least ONCE,
preferably when the POV character first lays eyes on them. After that, only tiny reminders are needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Describing the Viewpoint Character - Yes or No?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- YES! YES! YES! I don't know about you, but when I'm reading a story, I wanna know whose head I'm in
as soon as I'm in that head! And I want to know what that person LOOKS LIKE! (Damn it...)

NEVER assume that the person reading your story is familiar with the fandom! For example, I would have
never bought and read the 'Yu Yu Hakusho' manga series or the 'Full Metal Alchemist' series if I hadn't
first read some rather compelling fan-fiction.

------------- Original Message -----------

"...I'd like to emphasize that you wrote "viewpoint character" since that's different than when the thing
or person is first introduced." -- Fan-fiction Writer

Actually it SHOULDN'T be. The ONLY one who should be noticing anything and have an opinion on what
is being viewed should be the viewpoint character. This includes their own appearance.

Only if you are using an omniscient POV, the Camera's Eye viewpoint should those descriptions be cut
and dried, basically written with no emotional impact at all, strictly, "this is this, and they were there".

The "story-teller/ fairy-tale" style of writing is completely different. In this style the story-teller is a
character too, such as in the Lemony Snicket books.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Describing the Viewpoint Character.

Try to avoid using mirrors, or other reflective surfaces. This technique has seen far too much use and
abuse even by professional authors. However, if that's all you have then use it, but sparingly!

Rather than describe the character in one lump paragraph, the technique I prefer to describe my POV
character is to have the character DOING something. As the character goes through the motions of
whatever he happens to be doing, they 'notice' this part of them selves, or that, and express an opinion.
Each new Action brings other parts of the character into focus until you've described the whole
character -- without bogging down the story.

EXAMPLE: from DIABOLIC

-- Vincent picked up his leather glove. He slid his left hand into the fine leather and smoothed the sleeve
up his forearm. He flexed his fingers. It was nice having full use of his hand again. He dragged on the
black y-back muscle shirt. It was one of the few shirts that would allow for his wings. He pulled on some
black jockeys, then stepped into his butter soft black leather pants. He zipped the fly but left it
unbuttoned at the waist. Blood and hell, it felt good to be back in clothes.

He smeared the steam from the mirror on the back of the facility door. Carefully, he wound the scarlet
cloth around his head to cover his brow, not bothering to move his long black hair out of the way. The
cloth was to keep from accidentally frightening anyone when he invoked his beast and his third eye
became visible. Oddly, because of the way his third eye perceived the world, as energy rather than
matter, the eye had no problems seeing right through the cloth.

He stared at his reflection; black hair, scarlet bandanna, scarlet eyes, black clothes -- his usual
appearance. No visible changes. It was as though nothing had happened.

Quiet wafted through him, easing the tension in his limbs, soothing his mind, calming his heart - except
for one small corner that ached. He turned his back on the mirror. It would go away, eventually.

He set the towel around his neck, his hair wasn't completely dry, and opened the facility door.
Cloud was sitting on the edge of Vincent's bed facing the facility door. Early morning sunlight poured
through the window on the right, turning his spiked blond hair to soft gold. He was dressed in loose
black sweatpants and a sleeveless gray sweatshirt. He'd clearly just gotten out of bed. However, his
brows were low over his neon blue eyes, his lips were drawn in a tight thin line, and his arms were
crossed. "Welcome back."

Vincent stiffened only slightly. He picked up the towel around his neck and set to scrubbing at his damp
hair. "Thank you." He'd hoped that Cloud had gone back to Midgar, back to his new courier business,
back to Tifa and the children he'd chosen to watch over.

The farmhouse was Cid's technically, but it was an open house to the whole team. Sitting just outside of
Midgar, it was pretty much their personal way-station, a place to stop over on their way to other
destinations. Any of them could be there at any given time. However, he hadn't expected Cloud to still be
there.

Vincent very nearly smiled. Wishful thinking on his part. Cid made a lot of noise, but he wasn't one to
actually pry. Cloud, on the other hand, seemed to assume that his friends' problems were his problems
too. The kid worried. It was kind of sweet, but Cloud was the last person he wanted involved in
this...sordid affair.

Cloud's lip curled. It wasn't a smile. "Care to tell me what happened?"

Vincent strode to the foot of his bed and picked up the single-sleeved leather gambeson jacket, refusing
to meet Cloud's angry blue gaze. He slid his left arm into the sleeve. The jacket was strictly a layer of
padding for his armor and stopped right at the bottom of his ribcage. "No."

Cloud dropped his chin and his eyes narrowed. "No?"

Vincent shrugged to settle the loose back panel between his folded wings. He didn't want to spread his
wings wide in front of Cloud. Although invisible to the average human eye, each wing spread fully his
height and a half in length, and half his height in width. He didn't want to take the chance that Cloud's
physical enhancements would make out that something was there. The kid knew too much about him as
it was. He buckled the back panel to each side panels at the very bottom. His gaze flicked to Cloud's then
dropped. He drew the front of the padded jacket across and buckled it closed on his right side. "It was a
personal matter."

"Personal...?" Cloud choked. "Vincent, it was really obvious that you were kidnapped." His words were
soft, but vehement. "You were gone for three whole days!"

Vincent lifted his articulated arm with its chest harness, leaving the clawed hand gauntlet on the bed. He
slid his padded arm into the armored sleeve and set the spaulder on his shoulder joint. He offered Cloud
a quick smile. "I escaped. The end." He looked away giving his complete attention to fastening the chest
harness that supported the entire articulated arm. Hopefully, Cloud would take the hint that he didn't
want to talk about it.
"Damn it, Vincent...!" Cloud lunged off the bed and paced along the side of the bed on bare feet. His
movements were smooth and economic, almost feline in nature. If he'd actually been a cat his tail would
have lashed angrily. He stopped and glared. "Is he dead?" His voice deepened. "Tell me you killed him."

Vincent sighed. Cloud was clearly in the mood to be stubborn and wasn't about to take hints. He
adjusted the straps to his upper arm rerebrace, and then lower arm vambrace. "He is most definitely
dead." Vincent snorted. It was the absolute truth, and the crux of the whole problem; Sephiroth had
been dead to begin with. He gave his arm a shake to make sure the elbow couter settled in the right
spot.

"What did he want from you?"

Vincent lifted his clawed gauntlet. A new body. His cheeks heated. And my body too. He slid his leather-
gloved hand into the armored hand and worked the buckles that held it to the underside of his
vambrace. "He wanted something I wasn't willing to give."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, I DID use a mirror in this snippet. However, that was only to describe Vincent's eye color and hair
color. The rest of his physical description was handled by the act of getting dressed WHILE he spoke with
Cloud.

You will hear many people say that describing a character in First-person POV is difficult. Actually, It's no
more difficult than describing them in Third-person Close POV. All the same techniques apply.

DESCRIPTION ~ NOT just for pretty Pictures.

WARNING! ~ Missing descriptive cues can cause: Author Angst!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon a time, when I was a beginning writer of Smut, I wrote a kick ass, "World of Grim Darkness"
werewolf erotica story. I had a right to think the story kicked ass. I got a lot of letters telling me so.

Then one day I got a lovely letter gushing on how much they liked my story. It was so funny! They went
into detail explaining exactly how pleased they were and how witty my story was in so many places - but
I hadn't ended it right. Where was the punch line?

The PUNCH LINE?!

Yes, fellow writers, my serious "World of Grim Darkness" werewolf erotica had been completely
misinterpreted - as an erotic Comedy!

Talk about your total author disillusionment.

This misinterpretation happened because I had written strong sarcastic dialogue, (a trademark in all my
stories,) but I had left too many other cues out. It was not apparent at all, to this reader that my
characters were speaking sarcastically - counter to their true feelings.

In short, I didn't have enough of the POV character's feelings displayed through inner dialogue or body-
language cues for the reader to pick up what I was really trying to show. (Sigh...)

And that's how I learned the most important rule of fiction:

What CAN be Misinterpreted WILL be Misinterpreted.

According to my current fan letters, I DON'T make that mistake any more.

In Conclusion...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you want your readers to see exactly what you saw when you envisioned your story, DESCRIPTION is
the Only way to get your imagination across to the Reader.

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~

DISCLAIMER: These instructions are intended for Beginners, and for those looking for a few short-cuts to
jump-start their writing. If this advice does not agree with your style of writing, by all means, take what
you can use and ignore the rest.

For the record...

-- The description word counts limits I include in here are meant to be GUIDELINES not exact amounts,
'kay?
ACTION Sequences - Plug+Play

Writing ACTION Sequences

The Plug & Play Method

Lets begin with a Review...

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The flash of pain exploded in my cheek from the slap her hand lashed out at me.

-- WRONG!

Why is this wrong?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you were watching this scene as a movie, that sentence is NOT how you would have seen it happen.

Actual Sequence of events:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) Her hand lashed out at me in a slap. <Action>

2) A flash of pain exploded in my cheek <Reaction>

ACTION Sequences = Chronological Order

REALITY = something happens to you and then…you react.

Action > Reaction > Action > Reaction = Chronological order

FICTION = the Plot happens to the characters and then…they react.

Action > Reaction > Action > Reaction = Chronological order

If you want the reader to SEE the actions that you are trying to portray, Chronological Order is the ONLY
way to write that scene. In other words, if you visualize the characters doing something in a specific
order – you write it in THAT order!

WRONG:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The flash of pain exploded in my cheek <Reaction> from the slap her hand lashed out at me. <Action>

RIGHT:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her hand lashed out in a slap <action>.

My cheek exploded with a flash of pain. <reaction>. "Ow!" <dialogue/action> I balled my hand into a fist
and swung for her stomach. <reaction>

Violating chronological order is a Very Bad idea. If you knock the actions out of order, the reader's
Mental Movie STOPS because the reader has to STOP READING to rearrange the sentences into the
correct order to get the movie back.
The confusion comes in because written chronological action and dialogue tends to be rather curt in
phrasing rather than poetically stylish, plus it looks very choppy on the page.

Stylistic turns of phrase, be damned!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Making the story hard for the Reader to PICTURE is a Bad Idea. Anytime the reader has to STOP to
rearrange the words to FIT their mental movie, you've made a break. Breaks are BAD, very, very bad. A
break creates a moment where the reader can Put your story Down, and forget to pick it back up again.

Who cares what the words look like on the page? Once you have a Mental Movie rolling, the reader
won't even SEE the words. They'll be too busy making pictures in their head to notice what words they're
reading. What matters is that the Mental Movie -- the Story -- doesn't stop and the reader keeps
reading!

How to FIX this chronic problem:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

VISUALIZE your scenes as you write them. Play them as a movie in your head and write everything down
EXACTLY as you see it.

What about Literary style?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What about it? If you simply MUST have stylish phrasing in your fiction, save it for the descriptions, but
keep it out of the actions.

Next, memorize these Two Rules:

#1 - ONE Point of View per scene.

-- Use the POV of only ONE character per sequence. Why? Because seeing the Same Scene
simultaneously from more than one person's point of view CONFUSES the Reader as to who is thinking
and feeling what at any given moment in that scene.

#2 - NEVER put two characters Acting in the same paragraph.

-- Make a new paragraph every time a new character ACTS, which includes dialogue. Talking is an Action!

Okay, before we go on to How to Write an Action Sequence, one last reminder on an Action Scene's
WORST ENEMY...!

The Evil Nasty Vicious "AS"

In school, they teach you that 'as' is a word used to connect fragments of sentences together, rather in
the same way as you would use "and." Unfortunately, "as" doesn't quite work the same way as an "and"
in fiction.

-- "As" means, "things that happened simultaneously."

-- "And" means, "this happened too."

In Fiction NOTHING is truly simultaneous because the eye READS only one thing at a time. The only
things that can actually be counted as simultaneous in written fiction are groups of things.

Example:

~~~~~~~~~~~~

All the soldiers marched.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

IMPORTANT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm NOT saying that simultaneous events CAN'T be written. I'm saying that using "as" is not the way to do
it. Any group of events listed in one sentence are generally perceived as happening all at the same time
-- until you get to the "and". However, they should still be listed in the order in which they happened so
as to make the reader's VISION of the whole event crystal clear.

As far as I'm concerned, the only place an "as" belongs is at the BEGINNING of a sentence.
Example:

~~~~~~~~~~~~

As all the soldiers marched, the drums and fifes played.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

See?

Where "As" goes WRONG…

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I consider "as" a red flag word. A word that marks that something has gone terribly wrong in your
sentence structure.

What went wrong?

-- In fiction, the word "as" usually marks where a sentence has gone out of Chronological Order.

Example:

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The vampire scratched his head thoughtfully as he crouched over his victim.

Think: Which actions actually happened first?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. The vampire crouched over his victim.

2. He scratched his head thoughtfully.

The chronological way to write this would be:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The vampire crouched over his victim AND scratched his head thoughtfully.

Why does this matter?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A sentence Out of Chronological Order means that the reader has to Stop Reading to reset their mental
movie of your story. That's bad, very, very, BAD. Do this enough times and your reader will stop reading
your story to go find something easier to imagine. In fact, some readers will not only drop your story,
never to read it again, they'll avoid anything else you write.

How to Grammar Check for "as":

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do a Search/Replace substituting "as" for "and," then go back and read through your entire work. If
"and" doesn't fit right in your sentence, then it's most likely Out of Chronological Order.

Example:

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The werewolf flattened his ears angrily as he faced the hunter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Search/Replace:

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The werewolf flattened his ears angrily and he faced the hunter.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"And" doesn't quite work there, does it? Why not? Because the werewolf didn't flatten his ears before
he faced the hunter.

Which actions actually happened first?

~~~~~~~~~~~

1. The werewolf faced the hunter.

2. He was angry.

2. He flattened his ears.

Adjusted:

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The werewolf faced the hunter and he angrily flattened his ears.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now the "he" doesn't fit, so let's chop that out.

One more time:

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The werewolf faced the hunter and angrily flattened his ears.

~~~~~~~~~~~

See what I mean? The word "As" is a devious sinister monster that should be destroyed on sight.

Now, on to the good stuff!

Writing Action Sequences

The "Plug & Play" Method

Life is full of random events. FICTION is NOT. Every element in a story – every character, every situation,
and every object, must be there for a REASON, and have a reason to Be There. NOTHING happens "just
because" – especially actions.

The Magic Formula!

Stimulus > Physical Reaction > Sensory Reaction > Emotional Reaction > Deliberate Reaction

This order is VERY specific. You may SKIP steps, but you may not change the order.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) Stimulus

-- Something happens TO the character. (Action).

2) Physical Reaction

-- The character has a knee-jerk Physical Reaction to what has just happened. (Reaction)

3) Sensation Reaction

-- The character feels Physical Sensations and physically reacts to the sensations. (Reaction)

4) Emotional Reaction

-- AND THEN they have an Emotional Reaction reflected in their thoughts and/or a comment about what
had just happened. (Reaction)

5) Deliberate Reaction

-- AND THEN they Respond. They DO something about that action. (Reaction)

1) NEW Stimulus

-- External Reaction of the OTHER person or an Outside event. (Action)

The Chain of REACTIONS in DETAIL

1) Stimulus – Something Happens!

It all begins with: Stimulus > Response, also known as Action > Reaction.

Something happens, and the character reacts. It's that simple.

Action: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.

Reaction: Sam ducked, and the dagger flew harmlessly past him.
Or Sam was stabbed through the heart.

Or Sam caught it in his hand.

Or something of a similar, immediate response-nature.

How can something this simple be confusing?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Consider this:

Action: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.

Reaction: Sam grinned. "My, what lovely weather we're having!"

Too many writers think the reader will assume that the dagger missed Sam. Nope. I'm afraid that many,
many readers will NOT make that assumption at all. This is a PLOT Hole, a missing piece to an event,
triggered by the obvious question: What happened to the dagger?

I'm not saying you can't have that lovely piece of dialogue, I'm saying that you have to show the REST of
the stimulus > response FIRST.

Action: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.

Reaction: Sam caught the dagger in his palm, raised his brow at Joe and smiled thinly. "My, what lovely
weather we're having."

2) Physical Reaction – The Flinch

Something happens. Your character reacts instinctively. They duck, they flinch , they dodge, they gasp,
they choke, they pass out.
~~~~~~~~~

Action: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.

Reaction: Sam reached out to grab the dagger.

~~~~~~~~~

In real life, physical actions usually happen BEFORE dialogue. The finger pulls the trigger and THEN the
shooter wonders: "Oh no, what have I done?"

Most people ACT, and then comment, because physical reactions happen faster than thought. Thought
happens after the fist has already shot out. Ask any martial artist.

Thoughts that come first FREEZE physical action -- not in the literary sense, for real. Most people stop
whatever action they are doing, they pause to process that thought because few people can do both at
once. Martial artists are TAUGHT to Not Think when they fight -- No Mind -- specifically to make their
reaction time faster.

Fiction should not be any different.

3) Sensation Reaction – Cold Chills

Something just happened. What did it feel like, physically? How did they react physically to those
sensations?

Sensory = of the 5 physical senses

Sense of Sight - the appearance

Sense of Sound - the melody

Sense of Taste - the flavor

Sense of Texture - the sensation

Sense of Scent - the aroma

Sensation Reaction is BOTH "what they perceived through their senses," (it smelled like, it looked like, it
sounded like, it felt like, it tasted like…) And their PHYSICAL reaction to those sensations. "It tasted like
moldy socks, and I nearly retched."

~~~~~~~~~
Action: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.

Reaction: Sam reached out to grab the dagger. (Physical Sensation> The pommel slapped sharply into his
palm, stinging his hand. (Physical Reaction to Sensation> He winced.

~~~~~~~~~

Notice that Sam gets his own paragraph?

4) Emotional Reaction –"Oh, woe is me!" Internal Conflict!

Something just happened. How did that make your character FEEL: scared, happy, angry, lustful…? These
emotional feelings are reflected internally immediately after the physical sensations that wracked their
bodies with unwarranted stimuli. Ahem, after they feel the physical effects of what just happened.

Additionally, internal observations, internal dialogue and narration happens before they make a vocal
remark.

~~~~~~~~~

Action: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.

Reaction: Sam reached out to grab the dagger. (Physical Sensation> The pommel slapped sharply into his
palm, stinging his hand. (Physical Reaction to Sensation> He winced. (Internalization> He had known Joe
was pissed at him, but he hadn't thought he was that pissed.

~~~~~~~~~

5) Deliberate Reaction – Retaliation!

Something happened, your character has felt the effects, had a thought and perhaps made a comment.
So, what is your character going to do next? A deliberate action designed for Retaliation! More
commonly known as: Revenge.

Just to make things confusing, Dialogue can be a Response Reaction, an Internalization, an Emotional
Reaction or a Deliberate Reaction! When in doubt, always put Dialogue AFTER a physical action.

~~~~~~~~~
Action: Joe threw the dagger at Sam.

Reaction: Sam reached out to grab the dagger. (Physical Sensation> The pommel slapped sharply into his
palm, stinging his hand. (Physical Reaction to Sensation> He winced. (Internalization> He had known Joe
was pissed at him, but he hadn't thought he was that pissed. (Deliberate Reaction / Stimulus intended to
get a reaction out of Joe.> He raised his brow at Joe and smiled thinly. "My, what lovely weather we're
having!"

~~~~~~~~~

Ready? Steady... ACTION!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fill in the blank!

Stimulus > Physical Reaction > Sensation Reaction > Emotional Reaction > Deliberate Reaction

Stimulus - Something happened

Physical Reaction - Their body's immediate physical reaction

Sensation Reaction - The physical sensations and their effects

Emotional Reaction - What they thought about what was happening

Deliberate Reaction - How they responded

NEW Stimulus - What happened next.

- In that order.

External / something HAPPENED

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) Stimulus - Physical Action / Action, dialogue or both >

- Will Turner stabbed his sword toward Jack Sparrow.

Viewpoint Character's Reaction:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2) Reaction: Physical Reaction / Did they jump? Flinch? Catch the flying object? >

- Jack twisted to intercept the oncoming blade with his blade, rather than his body.

3) Reaction: Sensation Reaction / The physical sensations and their effects >

- The swords impacted with a jarring ring.

4) Reaction: Emotional Reaction / Internal or Vocal Comment reflecting what they thought about what
was happening >

- "Will this isn't the brightest idea in the world. I don't know if you noticed, but there are a bunch of
cutthroat pirates in the next cave?"

5) Reaction: Deliberate Reaction / What they did or said in retaliation >

- He slid his sword up Will's blade, waggled his brows, and smiled engagingly.

External Reaction of the OTHER person or an Outside event:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) NEW Action: Physical Action/Action or dialogue or Action & then Dialogue. >

- Will flinched back and scowled. "I don't care. I want to rescue her now!"
On the Page...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Will Turner lunged, stabbing his sword toward Jack Sparrow.

Jack twisted to intercept the oncoming blade with his blade, rather than his body. The swords impacted
with a jarring ring. "Will this isn't the brightest idea in the world. I don't know if you noticed, but there
are a bunch of cutthroat pirates in the next cave?" He slid his sword up Will's blade, waggled his brows,
and smiled engagingly.

Will flinched back and scowled. "I don't care. I want to rescue her now!"

Get it? Got it? GOOD!

Writing ACTION Scenes

-------- Original Message -----------

"I can't write an action/fight scene worth a crap. Mind you, I can usually imagine them, I just can't write
them." -- Wanna Do a Fight Scene.

If you can imagine it - you can write it. The easiest way is by doing it in LAYERS.

The Quick and Dirty Method for writing Action Scenes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Start with a list of ACTIONS & Reactions < in that order.

-- Actions ALWAYS go before Reactions.

(IMPORTANT! Each CHARACTER gets a SEPERATE LINE. ~ NEVER clump the separate actions of two
different characters in the same paragraph or the reader will get confused as to who is doing what very
quickly.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Will lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.

Jack caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin, Jack
slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab.

Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point.

Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Add DIALOGUE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're dead meat!" Will lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.

Jack caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" Pushing the blade just out of range of his
skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. "I don't think so!"

Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"

Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. "You're gonna have
to do a lot better than that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Add EMOTION.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're dead meat!" Will bared his teeth and lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.

Jack snorted in derision and caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" Pushing the blade
just out of range of his skin, Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. He smiled. "I don't think so!"

Startled, Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"

Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. He chuckled.
"You're gonna have to do a lot better than that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pick ONE POV character in that scene and Add the POV character's INTERNAL Observations. (More than
one POV in a scene is known as HEAD-HOPPING.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're dead meat!" Will bared his teeth and lunged forward, his sword fully extended in a stab.

Jack snorted in derision and caught Will's blade with the flat of his blade. "Oh really?" The kid certainly
had guts. Too bad he didn't have the skill to go with it. Pushing the blade just out of range of his skin,
Jack slide down Will's blade in a short fast stab. He smiled. "I don't think so!"

Startled, Will turned to the side to avoid Jack's sword's point. "Crap!"

Jack did a quick side-step to stay in front of Will, keeping his sword's point on target. He chuckled,
knowing it would piss the kid off. "You're gonna have to do a lot better than that." He was hoping the kid
would figure out that he was out-matched and just bolt. He didn't like killing those that didn't actually
deserve to die.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seriously, if you can imagine it - you can write it.

Having problems imagining it?

- WATCH MOVIES.
RESEARCH is your Best Friend

RESEARCH is your Best Friend.

-----Original Message-----

"...for bigger fictions (maybe 10-20 chapters, or more) for a big fan fiction or OC fiction, how much do
you plan out?" -- Wanna Rite Reel Gud

~~~~~~~~~~~~

How much do I plan out for one of my novels...?

-- I detail everything. Seriously. I believe in a Total Immersion style of writing. In other words, I want to
know the world so well, I can simply step into the mind and skin of my main character and LIVE the story.

How do I do that...?

I start with a basic plot formula and extrapolate on certain points as needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Romance needs extra doses of lover's angst, Gothics need psychological breakdowns, Horrors need room
for monster attacks, Sci-Fi's and Fantasies need moments of wonder... This gives me a rough plot outline
to work from.

Next, I break down each of the Three Main Characters: Hero/Ally/Villain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is to make sure that they are 'psychologically' in sync with the Plot and Each Other, so their
actions/reactions will mesh in the way I intend. (Ahem... That their personalities will clash nicely.) For
more details on this, read: Advanced CHARACTER Creation

If I'm doing a Historical, I also look up the four years they were in High School (if it existed,) and check
out what books, songs, plays, movies, and/or TV shows were popular during that time. Believe it or not,
those are the most common foundational points in most people's personality.

Think I'm kidding? Look up your own high school years and check out what books, TV shows, songs and
Movies were out during that time. Now consider how much those thing STILL influence you today? (If
you're still in school, check out your Mom's or your Dad's high school years. The results will be shocking!)

Once I get my main characters down, I sketch out the major support characters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't go into detail on them. Just names, jobs, physical descriptions, and what I've based their
personality on, (Scorpio and an INTJ?) or who. (Riddick under a new name?)

Why not detail the Support characters too? Because I don't want to find myself attached to a character
that ISN'T who the story is about.

Then, I map out the LOCATIONS I intend to use.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Location Research is especially important if I'm writing a Historical piece. I begin by researching the
NEWS local to that area.

Did riots break out the summer my story happens? Was there a killing snowstorm that winter?
Droughts? Floods? Fires, Quakes...? Weather and social conditions are vitally important because these
conditions will make or break all the plot points caused by Setting. If one location won't work-- "Oops, on
that day, there's a riot on that street..." --I'll have to thrash out either a way around it or find a whole
new location--or a new Time Period.

Case in point, I seriously thought about writing a story that took place in Early-Industrial Japan. Then I
discovered that Japan was in and out of war with Russia and China that whole period because of WWI,
plus a few other less than savory--and still hotly debated--skirmishes in Korea. Then there was the Kanto
Earthquake and hundreds of massive city-wide fires. Also, their Justice system was NOT Just. (If you had
money, you were innocent. If you didn't--you weren't.) In short, it was waaaaaaaaay, too much work to
thread my little story in the middle of that mess.

Then there's the WORLD.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I'm using this world, it's simply a matter of taking notes on the mundane details of whatever location I
plan to use, but if I'm writing a fantasy, or sci-fi...?

How many hours in a day, days in a week, or a month...? (Is there a moon on this planet--or two?) How
long is a year? Then comes, an Education system, a medical system, a money system, inventions, and/or
magic system, what occupations are available...etc. Also needed is a political system and history for that
country or set of countries for that last 200 years--or more.

For ALL the gory details on making your own world from scratch, I suggest: Patricia C. Wrede's
Worldbuilder Questions. It's frikken HUGE but it quite literally covers Everything.

Next is GENRE SPECIFIC Research.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I'm doing a Sci-Fi or SteamPunk, I do Invention and Science research.

-- It always pays to know what actually existed during a certain time period. Did you know that the
earliest computer was designed in 1837? It was called The Difference Engine and it ran without
electricity. It was gear-driven. Sadly, because of the expense to make it--each gear had to be precision
made--only a small model was built of it back then. A full-sized working Engine was finally built in 1991;
more than a little after it's time. Could you imagine how different the world would have been if it had
come into use back in the 1800's?

It also pays to know what current science says is possible in the future. Did you know that a form of anti-
gravity already exists? I normally find major inspiration during these research sessions.

If I'm doing a Paranormal or Fantasy story, I do Mythology, Magic and Paranormal research.

-- Since I've got quite a home library on these subjects, this is just a matter of pulling a book from a shelf.

For those of you who don't have a ready personal library, there are a million and one sites all over the
'net on ghosts, demons, angels, and just about every mythological creature out there. There are almost
as many sites on magic too: Wicca, Satanism, Shamanism, Shintoism, Buddhism... You name it, it's out
there only a Google search away.

And then...?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After all that is done, I take one last look at my plot outline then set it aside and begin to write. In the
course of writing, some plot points will work and some won't. Some locations won't offer quite the right
atmosphere I intended for a scene. Sometimes a whole new character will step onstage and become the
Ally to the main character or the Villain INSTEAD of the one I mapped out.

When that happens, I take a few moments to extrapolate how such changes will affect the story. If the
ending doesn't change--or a better one suddenly crops up, I go with it. I DON'T stick that hard to the plot
outline. I change as needed to make the STORY better--not my ego, or worse, my Character's ego.

And...that's pretty much it.

The Art of VILLAINY

The Art of VILLAINY ~ Making Realistic Villains for your Fiction ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"People will do far more to Avoid Pain than they will to Seek Pleasure."

-- CIA Profiler Gavin DeBecker on Human Nature

True Predators

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I craft a villain, I go out of my way to make darned sure that my fictional villains are as realistic as
the villains we face in real life. I begin by giving them ordinary human Issues.

Within every villain (fictional and non-fictional) there's a human issue at core that drives them to BE
villains in the first place. Even mass murderers have reasons (however twisted) for doing what they do.

NO villainous action is RANDOM.

The victim may be randomly chosen, but the action -- no matter how twisted -- always has a reason
behind it. That reason is ALWAYS driven by a very human issue triggered by an unfulfilled and essential
human need.

Key Human Issues:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* Desire for Connection

* Fear of Loss

* Fear of Rejection

* Desire for Recognition & Attention

* Fear of Ridicule & Embarrassment

* Desire for Approval

* Desire for Control

"Is there a specific pattern to how a Villain, a human predator operates?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YES, there is!

-- Let's begin with a list of the most common pattern of personality traits found in your average
psychopath:

* Glib and superficial

* Egocentric and grandiose

* ! Lacking in remorse or guilt

* Deceitful & manipulative

* Impulsive

* Thrill-seeking

* Lacking responsibility

* Emotionally shallow

List acquired from Predicting Violent Behavior by Psychiatrist John Monahan

Most people have a few of the above traits in lesser or greater degree, however the key trait necessary
for a true human predator is "Lacking in remorse or guilt." True predators have no compunction about
what they do, or to whom they do it.
Choosing a Victim

-- When a predator chooses his prospective victim, four questions go through his mind:

1. "Do I feel Justified in committing this act?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- It can be as simple as feeling that they have been provoked, as an act of revenge, to as complicated as
looking for an excuse to start an argument to validate an angry response.

The truly dangerous predators do what they do because they WANT to. In fact, justification for their
actions usually comes after they've already chosen their victim.

2. "Are there Alternative ways to get what I'm really after?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Seduction and manipulation into being given what they're actually after is usually the first technique
they try. Violence is normally a technique of last resort, unless committing an act of violence is their
actual goal.

3. "Can I deal with or discount the Consequences of my actions?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Can they successfully hide the evidence of their deeds? Do they have support from others, such as in a
mob scene or a gang situation where everyone around them is committing violence too? Do they have
some form of protection that will shield them from repercussions from their actions, such as extremely
clever lawyers? Have they been hired specifically to commit acts of violence, such as being part of a
military unit or the police? Are they so far above reproach that no one will believe they are even capable
of committing such an act?

4. "Do I have the Ability and/or Opportunity to commit this act?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Do they believe they can successfully carry out the deed?

Once a predator feels that he has satisfactory answers to these four questions the next steps are these,
and commonly in this order…

Forced Teaming

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- This is the projection of a shared purpose or experience where none exists. It is a sophisticated
manipulation technique for establishing false trust, using a "we're all in the same boat together"
attitude.

Key phrases include the word: "We"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* "Both of us…"

* "We're some team…"

* "How are we going to handle this one?"

* "Now we've done it…"

The most effective style of this technique plays on the victim's sympathy and makes the victim WANT to
participate. "You'd do the same for me."

This style of manipulation is very difficult to rebuff without being rude -- which is precisely why they do
it.

Charm & Niceness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Charm (verb) and Niceness (verb) are manipulation techniques used to compel, and/or control through
allure or attraction. A smile is the Number One most typical disguise used to mask emotions, and intent.

These two techniques are used specifically to gain much of the information they will need to evaluate
and then control their prospective victim.
Too Many Details -- that mean nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- This is a manipulation technique a predator uses to convince their victim that they are harmless and
familiar. What they are doing, is overwhelming their victim with nonsense chatter in order to get
physically closer.

Typecasting

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- This is a manipulation technique where the predator labels their victim in a slightly negative manner,
to induce the victim into acting the opposite just to prove them wrong. "You're probably too rich, too
pretty, too important, too proud, too much of a snob to talk to me."

The instant the victim snaps back, "No I'm not!" they've placed themselves squarely in the predators
hands.

Loan Sharking

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- A manipulation technique where the predator deliberately does the victim a favor specifically to place
the victim in their debt. "Let me help you."

The proctor buys a pupil ices

And hopes the boy will not resist,

When he attempts to practice vices

Few people even know exist.

-- Edward Gorey

The Unsolicited Promise

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- A manipulation technique designed to convince the victim that they are trustworthy.

"I'll just walk you to your doorstep and leave, I promise."

"I won't hurt you, I promise."

"I'm completely harmless, I promise."

Discounting the word "No."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- When this word is spoken by the victim, the predator's immediate response is to use every
manipulation technique in their arsenal to convince the victim in that they don't really mean "no", up to
and including, ignoring the word outright. This is to gain back their momentary loss of control over the
victim's actions.

A predator may use only a few of these techniques or all of them, but the target result is to manipulate
their victim into a corner which the victim feels they cannot escape -- such as inside the victim's home.

My textbook for crafting realistic villains:

The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker

www.cnn.com/books/beginnings/9…

Sympathy for the Fictional Devil

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As far as I'm concerned the author SHOULD sympathize with the villain, that's how you GET true depth of
character - truth in their characterization, actions and speech - but the Viewpoint Character and the
Reader, should NOT sympathize with the villain too much, unless you intend to redeem the villain, or
cause massive angst to your main character – and your readers.

Fair Warning: Too much sympathy for the villain drives the reader to think that you intend to save him --
and they get royally pissed when you knock him off.
It has happened to me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- My test readers totally misread a story I was in the process of crafting and assumed that the Villain was
the Hero! Because of this, they vehemently protested his upcoming demise! To satisfy my readers I had
to cut the whole second half of the book off and write that villain a whole new story where he WAS the
hero. When I rewrote my original story, I had learned my lesson. NO ONE complained when I killed the
villain that time.

"Murder your Darlings!" ~ Hemmingway

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Under normal circumstances, if I accidentally craft a Redeemable villain, but redemption does not serve
the plot -- I DON'T save him, I rework him to be less sympathetic, and then I kill his butt to serve the plot
and the premise. To me STORY comes first.

But, if I really, REALLY like this character and want to save him regardless of the story in progress, I do
save him – in a Whole Different Story. I leave his character intact but change his name, tweak his history
and then craft a whole New story around him to do just that - redeem the villain.

The Villain's Point of View...?

HELL NO! Don't Kill the Thrill ~ Damn it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I never, ever, EVER put my villain's Point of View into a story -- unless the Villain is the main viewpoint
character.

Why Not?

The villain's POV KILLS the surprise. It gives away the punch-line before the joke is done. The villain's POV
has a tendency to reveal too much, such as their MOTIVES, and answers too many questions that ruin
the Mystery for the reader, such as "Why is this happening?" Once the reader knows what's really going
on, where's the surprise?

I don't know about you, but I want my readers to be as surprised as the viewpoint character when they
get to the end of the story and finally discover why the Villain did all those dastardly deeds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ew, I remember doing this a few times in my older stories. .__.;; I did it once in my most recent stories,
though only hinting ideas at first to what was possibly going on in the villains' heads, hell, even
sometimes giving an idea to the reader that something might happen and then have the villain go an
entirely different way due to the circumstances.

In my older stories, I pretty much spilled the whole plot of what the bad guys planned to do. God, am I
glad my newer villains aren't quick to give away a plot, even if I DO pull a small POV of their point of
view. A word of advice for villain POVs, if you ABSOLUTELY HAVE to do a villain POV, do it from the
(possible) lackey's side of the story. Worst comes to worse, they know MUCH less than the actual villain's
ideas, opening up a possible window of either clues or ideas to what's going on. It can keep the reader
guessing, if done right or give away the entire plot, if used too often or explained too much.

If there is no lackeys to exploit the above, you're better off just avoiding villain POV completely, unless
it's to get into character. And even that is a gamble because the past can also expose plots. X_x

-- Arctic-Master

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"But other published authors do it!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Yes, there are a number of NYT bestselling Suspense and Romantic Suspense authors that hide the
Villain's more revealing information by cutting the reader off as soon as the Villain has an interesting
thought or view. *caughTomClancycaugh*

They're CHEATING the reader using a rather nasty technique known as "Illegitimate Third Person POV",
something actual Mystery writers wouldn't be caught dead doing.

However, I suppose such poor suspense techniques are to be expected from Suspense novels as they are
technically mystery-flavored novels, not true Mysteries, the way Futuristics usually have very poor world-
building as they are science-fiction-flavored, not true Science-Fiction.

When the "Point of View" is done correctly, whatever that viewpoint character knows - the Reader
knows. EVERYTHING that is in the POV character's head is revealed as it is seen and felt. If that POV
character looks at it, then the Reader should see it too. If that POV character thinks it, then the Reader
should be aware of it - that includes SECRETS!

On a personal note, I refuse to read books or stories written with "Illegitimate Third Person POV",
because if "I" can write suspense scenes without cheating, and I'm merely an erotic romance author,
THEY CAN TOO! (Freaking lazy-butt writers... Grumble, grumble, grumble…)

"But I thought the Villain's POV Increases the Suspense?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Um…No. The Villain's POV KILLS the Suspense.

Why?

-- Because while one might think suspense is being generated by the reader knowing that the main
viewpoint character is in extreme danger (when the POV character doesn't,) what it actually does is
Totally KILLS the Impact when the main viewpoint character finds out how much danger they are actually
in.

It's like someone whispering, "I'm gonna yell 'boo' in that kid's ear."

When you see the kid jump, you might grin, but did YOU jump?

No.

Why not?

Because you weren't surprised. Why should you be? You KNEW it was coming.

Someone yells "BOO!" in the ear of the guy sitting next to you – without any warning.

Do you jump then?

Yes.

See?

The REAL way to keep suspense going is by presenting CLUES about the villain and his nefarious plans to
the main POV character - and the reader - by behavior, dialogue, and discoveries.

"But I need it for the Plot!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If the author can't write the story WITHOUT including the Villain's POV, then it's very possible that
there's a deeper more serious flaw in the story.

The Author has focused on the WRONG main character.

Instead of the Hero and Heroine (semi/uke) in the lead, the Villain is leading the book. If the villain is
leading the book, then it's time to rethink the plot. Seriously, redo the whole thing giving the villain the
lead, writing it from the Villain's POV from beginning to end. I know LOTS of readers who love a good
book entirely from the villain's POV!

In Conclusion…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When one is writing Villains, once should know how Real villains think and act -- but that doesn't mean
your Reader should know what's going on in their heads. More than half the fun of a really good Villain,
is guessing what they'll do next!

Writing Emotions VISUALLY

Writing Emotions VISUALLY

"What is ...VISUAL writing?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Visual writing is when the reader can SEE your story unfolding in their imaginations just like a movie.

* Non-visual: It was a dreary day.

* Visual: Icy rain slithered down the window glass from an iron gray sky.

This is more commonly known as SHOWING vs. TELLING.

* Telling: It was a dreary day.

* Showing: Icy rain slithered down the window glass from an iron gray sky.

"What's wrong with just...Telling them?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- The problem lays with Reader interpretation. Abstract (poetic) words and ideas rely on the readers'
interpretation of what those words mean to them personally.

For example:

She was woefully depressed.

Consider:

* How does Big Bird act when he's woefully depressed?

* How do YOU act when you're woefully depressed?

Is there a difference?

-- Well yeah, birds molt. They lose all their feathers when they're depressed. When you were woefully
depressed, did you lose all your feathers? (Do you have feathers?)

If your definitions of those feelings don't match with the reader's definitions -- you're screwed. In other
words, the moment you and the reader come to a strong enough 'difference of opinion', they'll stop
reading and put the book down, never to pick it up again. Do it too much and the reader will stop
reading ANYTHING by you.

Think I'm exaggerating?

-- Get on one of the book/author fan-lists and ASK. (I did.)

So, how do you SHOW emotions in writing?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

According to Dianna Dorisi-Winget in "Let's Get Physical!": "... fiction writers must employ description
that accurately expresses a character's feelings."

She's not talking about flowery, sentimental, poetic words, AKA: purple prose, she means describe the
physical characteristics of the emotion you're trying to convey.

How does one DESCRIBE feelings and emotions?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emotions appear as Body Language. It's as simple as describing the character's body language in addition
to describing what they feel physically. Don't say: "she was sad," describe the way her tears feel as they
run down her cheeks, and the way her heart feels in her chest.

According to James Scott Bell in his article "Leave Them With Hope": "...the author must experience the
emotion and describe (the emotion felt) with the five senses, write it as he "feels" it".

"The trick," Dorisi-Winget says, "is tapping into your 'emotion memory.' Get beyond the pounding heart
and clenched fist."

Emotion Memory is simply remembering how you felt when you were experiencing the emotion your
character is going through.

Let's go back to Depression...

-- Do you remember what you felt like physically when you were depressed? That's what you write. Now
consider what depression looks like... What did you do when you were depressed?

Hold that thought because THIS is where characterization gets tricky!

While depression pretty much feels the same for everyone, how people react to it is another whole bowl
of kimchee.

Depression affects different people very differently. Some get very quiet, some get violent and hurt
others, (picking fights,) some only hurt themselves, (cutting). Some eat a lot of food, some stop eating
altogether. Some throw loud temper tantrums, yelling at anything that gets too close, and others refuse
to say even one word.

How would YOUR character react? Describe the feelings AND the actions. Show them being depressed in
all their torrid glory.

Don't TELL it:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was woefully depressed.

SHOW it:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She leaned to one side against the wall with her shoulders slumped, staring at nothing at all. Her eyes
burned with tears that wouldn't fall. Every beat of her heart seemed to take more effort than it was
worth, but somehow, it just kept beating. She was long past pain and well into numb. If only she could
stay there, and never feel anything at all, ever again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Believe it or not, TELLING the reader what the character is feeling is not nearly as effective or powerful
as SHOWING them.

Exercise:

* Write a scene where you tell what the character is feeling and doing using as many flowery words as
you can.

* Write the same scene describing what the character is doing and feeling.
By the way, it's perfectly okay to use one or two flowery decorative words in addition to your physical
descriptions, and in Dialogue -- internally, or out loud. When used to flavor descriptions, it gives what
you are describing emotional impact. When used in Dialogue, it gives your characters flavor.

* Hand both versions to your beta readers and see what they think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following is for those looking to get published. If you're just writing for fun and not profit, feel free to
skip this part.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is this advice Cramping your LITERARY STYLE...?

"What about all those flowery literary phrases that everybody else uses?"

AKA: "But Anne Rice does it, why can't I?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who is everybody else? Are they alive and still publishing books, or dead?

Once upon a time, literary writing was how one got published, so naturally that's what they teach in
college. I got news for all you literary students going to class to become fiction authors:

Euphemistic and/or literary writing is all well and fine in Creative Writing and Fan-Fiction, but that won't
get you published any more.

Keep in mind, I'm talking BOOK publishers, not magazines or anthology publications that will only pay
you $100.00 flat fee and No Royalties. Hell, even the EBook publishers won't take literary stuff. (They're
all looking for Erotic Romance.)

Of course, there's always the 'self-publishing route...? (www.lulu.com) They could care less what you
write. They are making money off of YOU.

Outside of poetry, and high-brow literary journals, the only stuff in the Literary style being bought by the
general public -- and publishers today, are Classics. We're talking stuff that were originally called Torrid
Romances, (Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre...) Pulp Fiction, (Sherlock Holmes, HG Wells' novels, Dickens'
novels...) and Penny Dreadfuls (Dracula, Frankenstein, Edgar Allen Poe's works...) Stuff that was
published a hundred years ago or longer; stuff that was NOT considered Literary in their day; stuff by
authors that are currently DEAD.
"But! But! But what about the great literary authors still alive today...?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

London Times

Publishers toss Booker winners into the Reject Pile

by Jonathan Calvert and Will Iredale

"...Typed manuscripts of the opening chapters of Naipaul's In a Free State and a second novel, Holiday,
by Stanley Middleton, were sent to 20 publishers and agents.

No one appears to have recognized them as Booker prizewinners from the 1970s that were lauded as
British novel writing at its best.

Of the 21 replies, all but one were rejections.

Only Barbara Levy, a London literary agent, expressed an interest, and that was for Middleton's novel.
She was unimpressed by Naipaul's book. She wrote: "We . . . thought it was quite original. In the end
though I'm afraid we just weren't quite enthusiastic enough to be able to offer to take things further."

Read the rest of the story? --

www.timesonline.co.uk/article/…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I said before...

-- Outside of poetry, and high-brow literary journals, the only stuff in the Literary style being bought by
the general public and publishers TODAY (not 20 years ago), are Classics.

So, how come Anne Rice can get away with her florid and rather literary style of writing?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Because she's ANNE RICE. Consider this, no matter what she writes, or how she writes it, she's going to
sell a million copies. NO ONE is going to argue with an author that can sell a million copies with their
name alone.

Is your name Anne Rice?

No? Then, you're just going to have to follow the publishing house rules just like the rest of us not-quite-
famous authors.
When you can sell a million copies on just your name alone, you'll be able to write any gosh darned thing
in any gosh darn way you care to because absolutely no one will argue with you. Don't want an editor?
No one will argue that either; just ask Stephen King.

In short, if you want to be published in this day and age, forget the expensive literary writing courses.
Take a nice cheap class on commercial copywriting because that is the style of writing publishers are
looking for today.

"Copywriting...? Isn't that for Advertising...?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Yes it is. Think, what does Advertising do? It delivers its message with as much emotional impact and
persuasive power as it can jam into One Sentence or less:

"Got milk?"

"The incredible, edible, egg."

"The Quicker Picker-Upper."

Copywriting teaches you to deliver the Most amount of information in the Least amount of words. Just
think what that style of writing could do for your fiction! (It's done wonders for mine.)
INTERNAL CONFLICT

Advanced Writing:

INTERNAL CONFLICT

Note: this is how the professional authors do it. That doesn't mean YOU have to. As with all advice, take
what you can use and throw out the rest.

The scene…

~~~~~~~~~~~~

His lips drifted across hers in a warm caress. His hand pressed at waist, the heat of his palm warming her
flesh through her corset underlying the deep blood silk gown. His fingers drifted upward, toward her
breast.

Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart. She wanted to let him tear the red silk from her
body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm over his to stop him just below her breast. He was a
vampire and she, a mere mortal. The fear in her soul told her to stop, and yet her body begged for his
mouth on her flesh. I am overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he can satisfy... He fired her blood
more than any other man.

She turned away from his kiss. "Please, I can't."

His gaze narrowed, then he smiled. "Why? Why deny your desire?"

She stepped from his embrace and clasped her hands before her. "Forgive me, but I want to live."

He moved closer, to stand but a breath away. "Are you quite sure?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, I know, it's a bit over the top. Anyway… What we have here is a potentially hot scene brewing with a
nice little Internal Conflict, but everything seems a little muddied. What's wrong?

This scene's Internal Conflict is Out of Chronological Sequence!

"What the heck does that mean?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chronological sequence is the order in which things actually happen.

1. Something the size of a fist hits your head.

2. The impact knocks you flat on the ground.

3. You sit up from the ground and shake you head wondering what the heck just happened.

4. PAIN!

5. Wincing, you look around for the cause and find a baseball.

6. Guessing what happened, you go looking for the culprits.

When stories are NOT written in the correct order that events actually happen, the reader gets confused.
Make a story too difficult to read and they'll go read someone else.

The Chronological Order of INTERNAL CONFLICT!

1) SHOW the Conflict.

2) Tell WHAT is in Conflict.

3) Tell WHY it's in Conflict.

4) Resolve the Conflict.

1) Show them that there is a Conflict.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Show them, through the ACTIONS & Dialogue of your characters, that there is a conflict happening. This
is pure showing – all action.
2) Tell them WHAT is in Conflict.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a statement, TELLING the reader, through internal narration or dialogue, exactly what is battling
with what, within the character. Want verses want. Is it their heart verses their body? Their good sense
verses their desire? Their career verses their heart's desire? Love for one verses lust for the other?

3) Tell them WHY it's in conflict – what is at stake?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is another statement, internally or through dialogue, telling the reader exactly what is at stake. Pile
on the reasons, both pro and con. "I can't do this, because…but I want to, because…"

To make the most tension, state the Con first and then the Pro.

4) Resolve the Conflict

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Make an Internal decision, and then have the character ACT on that decision.

Scene OVERHAUL!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When in doubt of ANY scene – pull it apart, sentence by sentence:

HIS initiating Actions:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• His lips drifted across hers in a warm caress.

• His hand pressed at waist, the heat of his palm warming her flesh through her corset underlying the
deep blood silk gown.

• His fingers drifted upward, toward her breast.

HER Reactions:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart.

• She wanted to let him tear the red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm
over his to stop him just below her breast.

• He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal.

• The fear in her soul told her to stop, and yet her body begged for his mouth on her flesh.

• I am overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he can satisfy...

• He fired her blood more than any other man.

• She turned away from his kiss. "Please, I can't."

His following Action:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• His gaze narrowed, then he smiled.

• "Why? Why deny your desire?"

Her following Reaction:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• She stepped from his embrace and clasped her hands before her.

• "Forgive me, but I want to live."

His Initiating Action:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• He moved closer, to stand but a breath away.

• "Are you quite sure?"

Actual order of events:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) He kissed her.

2) She reacted, and wanted more.

3) She had reasons to resist. (Internal CONFLICT!)

4) She resisted.

5) He sought to reestablish contact.

6) She resisted.

7) Closing

1) He kissed her.

(The sentences that belong to this event:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• He kissed her.

• His lips drifted across hers in a warm caress.

• His hand pressed at waist, the heat of his palm warming her flesh through her corset underlying the
deep blood silk gown.

• His fingers drifted upward, toward her breast.

In proper Sequence:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His lips drifted across hers in a warm caress. His hand pressed at waist, the heat of his palm warming her
flesh through her corset underlying the deep blood silk gown. His fingers drifted upward, toward her
breast.
2) She reacted, and wanted more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart.

• I am overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he can satisfy...

• He fired her blood more than any other man.

In proper Sequence:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart. He fired her blood more than any other man. I am
overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he can satisfy...

3) She had reasons to resist ~ CONFLICT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• She wanted to let him tear the red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm
over his to stop him just below her breast.

• He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal.

• The fear in her soul told her to stop, and yet her body begged for his mouth on her flesh.

1) SHOW the Conflict.

2) Tell WHAT is in Conflict.

3) Tell WHY it's in Conflict.

4) Resolve the Conflict.

1) SHOW the Conflict.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She wanted to let him tear the red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm
over his to stop him just below her breast.

2) Tell WHAT is in Conflict?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her body begged for his mouth on her flesh, and yet, the fear in her soul told her to stop.

3) Tell WHY it's in conflict. What is at stake?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal.

4) Resolve the conflict.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Oh, no! There's nothing to put here! So, add something, right here to state her decision.)

Yes, she wanted him, but death was simply to high a price to pay for his embrace.

In proper Sequence:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her body begged for his mouth on her flesh, and yet, the fear in her soul told her to stop. She wanted to
let him tear the red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm over his to stop
him just below her breast. He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal. Yes, she wanted him, but death
was simply to high a price to pay.

4) She resisted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She turned away from his kiss. "Please, no."

5) He sought to reestablish contact.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His gaze narrowed, then he smiled. "Why? Why deny your desire?"

6) She resisted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She stepped from his embrace and clasped her hands before her. "Forgive me, but I want to live."

7) Closing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He moved closer, to stand but a breath away. "Are you quite sure?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't forget! -- No matter what, both Internalization and Dialogue happens AFTER Physical Reactions.
ACTION always precedes COMMENT. The body reacts faster than thoughts or comments. Ask any martial
artist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ADJUSTED into Proper Sequence:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His lips drifted across hers in a warm caress. His hand pressed at waist, the heat of his palm warming her
flesh through her corset underlying the deep blood silk gown. His fingers drifted upward, toward her
breast.

Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart. He fired her blood more than any other man. I am
overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he can satisfy... Her body begged for his mouth on her
flesh, and yet, the fear in her soul told her to stop. She wanted to let him tear the red silk from her body,
and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm over his to stop him just below her breast. He was a
vampire and she, a mere mortal. Yes, she wanted him, but death was simply to high a price to pay. She
turned away from his kiss. "Please, no."
His gaze narrowed, then he smiled. "Why? Why deny your desire?"

She stepped from his embrace and clasped her hands before her. "Forgive me, but I want to live."

He moved closer, to stand but a breath away. "Are you quite sure?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Conclusion:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Violating chronological order is a Very Bad idea, even in something as simple as an argument.

If the actions are out of order, the reader's Mental Movie STOPS because you just confused your reader.
This means that the reader has to Re-Read that sequence until they can figure out what the heck just
happened in order to get their mental movie playing again.

Making the story hard for the reader to PICTURE -- is a VERY Bad Idea. Anytime the reader has to STOP to
rearrange the words to FIT their mental movie, you've made a break. Breaks are BAD – very, very bad! A
break creates a moment where the reader can STOP READING your story, and start reading something
else -- and possibly never look at you again.
The Subtle STATIC TRAIT

The Subtle STATIC TRAIT

Secret Weapon of the Clever Writer

The Static Trait is the small personal HABIT an individual character displays which reveals their personal
Neurosis, their driving NEED, especially in stressful situations. This habitual or even ritual behavior acts
as both their greatest source of trouble and the linchpin to their success. It's the individual character's
"Accident Waiting to Happen".

The most obvious place to find visible Static Traits is in both Comedies and Tragedies. These stories (and
movies) RELY on their characters' Static Traits to linchpin the plot.

What made Laurel and Hardy so funny, were the little neurotic habits -- the static traits -- that would
appear under stressful situations. Abbot and Costello built whole routines on Bud Abbot's little twitchy
responses. The climactic scene in every one of their movies involved Abbot in a panic attack. You spent
half the movie going "Oh no! Don't! Don't! Don't!...AH! He did."

I don't watch tragedies as a rule, but just about every Greek play I've read involves the Protagonist acting
on their Neurosis, the emotional need they can't -- or won't -- control which brings them crashing down.

Pandora acting on her uncontrollable Curiosity – opened that box of ills.

Paris acting on his uncontrollable need for Love – judged Venus as the loveliest goddess in a contest
with Hera and Athena, to gain the love of the most beautiful woman in the world. Unfortunately, she was
already married to a powerful and vindictive warlord.

Oedipus acting on his uncontrollable need for Recognition – killed the king and married the queen,
who just happened to be his biological parents.

Arachne acting on her uncontrollable Pride - bragged that her ability to weave was greater than a
goddess's and was turned into a spider.

Prometheus acting on uncontrollable his need for Revenge - gave fire to mankind and was thus
chained to a rock to be eaten alive by buzzards for the rest of eternity.

In stories that are Not tragedies, this neurosis-based habit DOES cause their downfall, but also comes to
their rescue at the Climax then CHANGES by the end of the story, quite literally Showing that the
character has conquered their neurosis.
The movie The Mummy is loaded with static traits. Just about every single character in the movie had a
static trait based on their personal neurosis – and either lived or died because of it.

> Evelyn's (Evie) personal neurosis was her obsession with being an Egyptologist. Her static trait had to
do with books. If it was a book, she had to touch it. Evie's opening scene defined her character; she was
filing books and knocked over an entire set of bookcases (rather like dominoes) because she simply HAD
to put that book where it needed to be. The entire catastrophic release of the Mummy happened
because she simply HAD to have (as well as open and read) the Book of the Dead.

-- Her Trait came to her rescue because her Habit allowed her to be able to Read ancient Egyptian,
allowing her to be able to not only find the correct book to dispel the Mummy, but know which spell was
the right one to use. She conquered her neurosis when she allowed the book to be destroyed.

> Evie's brother Jonathan's personal neurosis was greed. His static trait was kleptomania. If it was small
and shiny, he had to have it. His opening scene involved showing off to his sister his latest theft. Because
of his habit for picking up shiny things, he never quite lost the object he stole – the key to the Book of
the Dead.

-- His trait came to his rescue when he pick-pocketed the needed 'key' from the bad guys. However, he
didn't conquer his neurosis. He walked out of that temple with a huge stash of gold.

> Rick' O'Connell's personal neurosis was that he was an outsider. He never quite fit in with whatever
group he was with – even his fellow Americans. His solution to everything, his static trait was "fight it".
He was constantly leaping into one fight after another. Evie met him while he was in jail for being in a
brawl. In every scene involving an attack of some sort, he was the first one to dive into the fight.

-- His trait came to his rescue when he needed to go on a one-on-one battle with a supernatural creature
without immediately dying. He conquered his neurosis when he allowed Evie to destroy the monster
with a spell rather than trying to do it himself.

> Beni's personal neurosis was cowardice. His static trait was freezing in place and shivering. He ended
up working for Imhotep, because he simply did not have the guts to run away.

-- His trait NEVER came to his rescue, and in fact destroyed him.

> Imhotep's (the Mummy) personal neurosis was love. He got into trouble – and became the Mummy -
because he was in love with the pharaoh's concubine. Everything he did was to get his one true love
back from the dead. His static trait was his single-minded focus on regaining his lost love – at any cost.

-- Because Evie resembled his beloved, his neurosis made him grab for Evie -- which was his biggest
mistake. If he had grabbed any other female, he would have gotten away with the resurrection of his
beloved.
The movie CONSTANTINE is very much a "character-driven" story where a character's personality (and
personal neuroses,) ruled the results of any given crisis.

> Those that changed and adapted -- lived.

> Those that couldn't -- died.

AND ~ Every character had a Static Trait, a Habit that outlined their individual neuroses.

> Constantine's static trait was chain-smoking.

> Angelica used a gun to fix all her problems.

> Balthazar, a half-demon, flipped a coin between his fingers.

> Gabrial, an angel half-breed, liked to pontificate on how very noble human-kind could be if their
natural selfishness didn't get in the way.

> Beeman, John's buddy that supplied interesting toys and hard to find artifacts, collected bugs.

> Chas, a young cabby and John's other buddy, wanted to be an exorcist like John, so he was forever
trying to follow John into dangerous situations.

> Father Hennessy, another of John's buddies, was an actual exorcist with a talent for sensing evil,
though he couldn't actually see them the way John could, was an alcoholic.

If they faced and conquered their neuroses, their Static Trait changed – a visible sign of the change that
had happened within the character.

Of course, only a few people in the whole movie fixed their issues and changed their static trait. The rest
died. However, being a Horror movie, this was pretty much expected.

How to use this in Fiction…

Start with your character's personal neurosis and pick a small habit that shows their personal neurosis in
action. This Habit should get them Into as much trouble as it gets them Out of trouble, and it should be
the linchpin that either sets off or defuses the climactic scene.

Having a hard time finding your character's Personal Neurosis?

-- Try looking at your character's core Motivation. What obsessive habit would define this?

In Walt Disney's Beauty & the Beast…

-- Gaston's motivation was his Selfishness in the form of Narcissism. "I deserve the best!" This was
reflected in his static trait of always looking in the mirror. Even when hunting the Beast, he stopped to
look at his own reflection.
-- Beast, in complete reverse of Gaston, utterly Refused to look into mirrors because his Original personal
neurosis was exactly THE SAME as Gaston's: Narcissism.

They were BOTH obsessed with their APPEARANCE, but then, the movie's Premise was all about
"Looking Beneath the Surface".

In Erotic Fiction...

-- The Static Trait should be Sexual in nature.

A woman who wears skimpy clothes.

A guy who wears tight jeans and/or leaves his shirt open to the navel.

Long Hair on either gender. This IS a sexual trait!

Fur, Leather, or shiny Plastic clothing on either gender.

An oral habit such as licking the lips, biting the bottom lip, chewing on pens, sucking on lollipops, or even
smoking.

Physically Touching anyone they speak to.

Posing provocatively instead of merely sitting or standing.

For another example...

-- One of my Static Traits is redefining difficult concepts into simple terms. This comes from my obsession
to write as clearly and concisely as I can, and is motivated by my personal neurosis of Avoiding Reality –
by creating fantasy worlds real enough to hide in. (grin)

When the Hero is NOT a Hero

Protagonist & Antagonist ~ A Different Definition

There are Three Essential Characters in Every Story. There may be any number of side characters, but in
traditional Adventures, and Romances of every stripe the main conflict is usually, if not always, a triangle
of complimentary opposites.

Translation: You could tell the WHOLE story with ONLY these Three Characters; perhaps not with any real
detail, but you could still do the entire basic plotline. (Yes I know, I've said some of this before. Bear with
me.)

THREE Characters?

Yep. I'm sure you're familiar with: Hero – Villain – Heroine (or Sidekick) already. Those are pretty darn
standard. So, let's define them in a more Literary, (and complicated,) fashion shall we?

Antagonist - Protagonist - Ally

ALLY? Who the heck is That?

The Ally

Always there, though seldom named is: the Ally -- the Companion to the Hero. The ALLY's function is to
be the Middle-Man, the nay-sayer that presents an opposing view to both the Hero and the Villain. The
ALLY is the Obstacle Character who adds complications to the plot, making matters worse for both the
Hero and the Villain, generally by getting in the way.

In Romances, this character is the Love Interest, in modern mainstream fiction, and tons of movies, this
is the trouble-inducing Best Friend or Interfering Relative, (often a younger sibling). In traditional fiction,
they were known as the Victim.

In ALL cases, this character's FATE turns the plot at the Climax, and more often than not, is the story's
VIEWPOINT CHARACTER.

The HEROINE

Lady Hero or just another Ally?

Traditionally, fictional Females were NOT allowed to hurt anybody, and they NEVER Killed anybody. The
Heroine was not allowed to defeat her own Villain. Her male companion did all her dirty work for her.
However, since only the Protagonist faces the Antagonist in the final battle, this made the Heroine's male
companion the actual Protagonist, and the Heroine, the most common viewpoint character in a
Romance novel – the Ally or designated Victim.

Does the term: 'Damsel in Distress', ring any bells?

The Heroines in traditional stories served two purposes only:

-- To get into trouble, so they could be Saved by the hero

-- As a reward for the hero's heroic efforts. (I know, I know... Don't gag on me.)

Lately, fictional Heroines have begun to defeat their Villains all by themselves, (Lara Croft anyone?) so
that rule is changing. But it's still not acceptable for the Heroine to battle the Villain in some arenas.

In Walt Disney's Mulan, Mulan is clearly the viewpoint character and presented as the story's
Protagonist, and yet Walt Disney still made her male companion, Mushu, the story's Comic Relief
character, take out the Villain – not her, (or her designated Hero!)

In Walt Disney's Beauty and the Beast, Belle is the clearly the viewpoint character and presented as the
story's Protagonist, and yet Walt Disney still made her male companion, Beast, take out the Villain – not
her.

However, in Tomb Raider, Lara Croft not only does her own butt-kicking, she frequently rescues everyone
else!

Antagonist - Protagonist - Ally / Hero - Companion - Villain?

Who is supposed to be What?

Well, that depends on the character's ACTIONS in the story and their effect on the PLOT. Lets look at
some literary Definitions that came from one of the ancient Greeks, Aristotle to be exact. (*Based on
Aristotle's "Elements of a Greek Tragedy".)

ANTAGONIST: Traditionally the Villain, the one causing all the trouble. (Anti = against: "The one who
struggles AGAINST.")*

PROTAGONIST: Traditionally the Hero, trying to keep the Antagonist at bay and keep things the way they
are. (Pro = for: "The one who struggles FOR.")*

ALLY: In Greek Tragedies, this character was the designated Victim of the Protagonist's poor judgment
whose fate brought on the tragic ending, OR the Only Survivor, who played official witness to the heroic
struggle between the Antagonist and the Protagonist. They "Lived to tell the Tale."
In modern fiction, ANY of these three character positions can operate under ANY of the three master
character drives: Motive - Action - Emotion, and the Protagonist does NOT necessarily have to be the
story's Hero -- just who the story is ABOUT. Additionally, the Viewpoint Character, the one telling the
story, does NOT have to be the Protagonist. In fact, it's very traditional for the ALLY to be the story's
Narrator -- not the Protagonist.

"But I thought that the Protagonist was always the Main Character?"

In The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Watson was the Viewpoint Character, he told the stories, and yet
those stories were all about Holmes who solved the mysteries and faced all the villains. Holmes was
obviously the Protagonist; making Watson the Ally.

The Problem with"Protagonist"

In a story's Grand Finale, the Antagonist & Protagonist do battle, and 'winner take all'. Therefore, the one
character who does battle with the Antagonist is, by definition, the Protagonist, (and vice versa.)

BUT ~ No one wants to think of the Protagonist as being anything other than the Main Viewpoint
Character, whether or not they do battle with the Antagonist. Literary Scholars don't like their definitions
changed. Unfortunately, their educated opinions are not having any effect on the characters appearing in
modern Fiction -- such as the Anti-Hero, Honorable Villain and the Trickster Ally.

In Moby Dick, the main character Ishmael, is commonly thought of as being the Protagonist because he
told the story. However, Ishmael did NOT do battle with the white whale – Captain Ahab did, therefore
Ishmael was NOT the Protagonist at all.

Then… What was Ishmael?

Moby Dick

A CLASSIC Greek Tragedy

Aristotle's Elements of a Tragedy, in short:

• The reversal of the protagonist's fortune is brought on by a personal flaw.

• The eventual recognition by the protagonist of this tragic flaw

• The resulting moral consequences of their actions.

• The final moral re-affirmation of the audience -- delivering catharsis.

• Protagonist = Main or Central Character. "The one who struggles FOR."

• Antagonist = Obstacle to the Protagonist. "The one who struggles AGAINST." The obstacle that stands
in the way of the protagonist.
In Moby Dick, the White Whale was minding his own business when Captain Ahab attacked him the first
time. Seriously pissed off, the whale ate Ahab's leg. Ahab of course, decllares revenge against the
monster.

And Ishmael?

-- He's not there yet. This is the Back Story, all the stuff that happened before Ishmael stepped on Ahab's
ship for the first time.

The story Moby Dick is all about Captain Ahab's struggles with the white whale, making AHAB the main
character – though no one I know would ever call him Heroic or a Protagonist.

From: Aristotle's Elements of a Tragedy…

• Harmatia = Fatal flaw of the Protagonist. In a classical tragedy, the protagonist falls from a great
position of power due to a flaw in their character, usually an emotional instability, like pride (hubris), in
the case of Oedipus.

In Moby Dick, Ahab's overwhelming pride, "I WILL kill that whale!" causes him to pit his ship, and the
lives of his men, against a monster far too big for him. The Whale's thirst for revenge is also driven by
Pride.

The Whale and Ahab BOTH have the same flaw; a VERY traditional trademark of the Protagonist and
Antagonist.

From: Aristotle's Elements of a Tragedy…

• Peripetia = Reversal of Fortune. The reversal of fortune that besets the protagonist and is intended to
elicit our pathos. our pity, and sympathy.

In Moby Dick, Ahab finds the white whale (again minding his own business,) and attacks. The Reversal
happens when the whale obviously realizes who is attacking him, and goes after Ahab, attacking the part
of the ship Ahab occupies.

From: Aristotle's Elements of a Tragedy…

• Anagnorisis = Recognition of Deeds. When the protagonist understands that their plight has been
brought about by their own harmatia, their Fatal Flaw.
In Moby Dick, Ahab's ship is sinking and his men are dying. He REALIZES that the whale has made Ahab a
personal enemy – and it's his Own Fault. If Anyone is to survive, he must face the whale HIMSELF.

From: Aristotle's Elements of a Tragedy…

• Catharsis = Purgation of Pathos / Establishment of Ethos. A play is considered complete when the
audience is cleansed morally or emotionally by the closure of the tragedy. The catharsis is intended to
fortify the ethos, the cultural framework, of the audience.

In Moby Dick, Ahab dies and the whale goes away, leaving the survivors alone. Which proves that the
whale had more honor than Ahab. The whale does not attack innocent bystanders -- unlike the insane
sea captain.

And Ishmael? He's left behind, floating in the sea after witnessing the entire battle.

Aristotle in a Nutshell:

• Glorious Hero does something he really shouldn't do.

• Not-so-glorious Hero realizes that it's his own damned fault.

• Hero crashes and burns. (He dies, she dies, everybody dies...)

• The audience feels good because they didn't make the protagonist's mistakes.

In Moby Dick, Who is the REAL Protagonist?

-- In Moby Dick, the White Whale is fighting FOR his Life. He's the Protagonist.

-- Ahab is fighting AGAINST the whale's right to live. He's the Antagonist.

So, what was Ishmael?

Ishmael did not agree with either the Whale, for its fierce attacks, or with Captain Ahab's reasons for
chasing Moby Dick. He possessed an opposing opinion to both. He was an Obstacle Character, but he
worked for Ahab, technically putting him on Ahab's side.

Ishmael did not affect the plot in any major way. He was merely an Observer, the official witness to the
epic battle between the whale and the sea captain – he was an ALLY.
Moby Dick is a prime example of modern literature proving that Protagonists are Not always heroic,
Antagonists are Not always the bad guys, and the designated Victim (the Ally,) is not always a damsel in
distress – or even a Victim.

And yet, literary professionals INSIST that Ishmael is the Protagonist on the grounds that Ishmael Told
the Story, therefore he HAD to be a Main Character: the Protagonist.

Um... WRONG! (Go back and read your Aristotle, K?)

The accepted 'literary' definitions for Antagonist and Protagonist just don't FIT the modern day Anti-
Hero, Honorable Villain and Trickster Ally.

But ~ No One wants to admit that a Protagonist might be the Villain, and an Antagonist might be the
Hero despite the reams of modern fiction and hundreds of popular movies that have such characters. It
takes a PHD or a Master's Degree to change an educated opinion -- something I don't have the time to
get. (I'm too busy writing Fiction.)

So, let's go around that particular literary road-block and re-label those character positions a bit more
closely to their sources -- according to *Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.1.1)

Proponent – Adversary – Ally

ADVERSARY– Anti-establishment; the main character attempting to go against the status quo, by
breaking the rules of their society.

Definition: Opponent,

Synonyms: antagonist, attacker, bad guy, bandit, competitor, contestant, enemy, foe, match, opposer,
rival

PROPONENT – Pro-establishment; the main character in support of the status quo and the rules of their
society.

Definition: Advocate

Synonyms: backer, champion, defender, enthusiast, exponent, expounder, friend, partisan, patron,
protector, second, spokesperson, subscriber, supporter, upholder, vindicator

ALLY – The main supporter of one or the other; usually a lover. (It's not unusual for both the Proponent
and the Adversary to each have an Ally, but only one Ally actually turns the plot.)

Definition: Friend
Synonyms: accessory, accomplice, associate, co-worker, coadjutor, collaborator, colleague, confederate,
friend, friendly, helper, partner

VILLAIN - The main Bad-Guy.

HERO - The main character that faces the Bad-Guy at the climax.

COMPANION - The Buddy, Love-interest, Friend, Victim, and official witness to the heroic struggle
between the Hero and the Villain.

So, to answer our earlier question: Who is What?

Hero – Companion – Villain

Proponent – Adversary – Ally

The answer is: Take your pick. The three main characters can be ANY combination.

In the 'Tomb Raider' movie series...

Proponent Heroine

Adversary Villain

Ally Hero

Lara Croft is a Proponent Heroine with Adversarial Villains and Paramour Allies. (Nice and simple.)

Reversed Characters

Anti-Heroes vs. Heroic Villains

The one who has the most battles with the ADVERSARY is your PROPONENT. The one left over, and
normally instigating a lot of the tension between the P&A, is your ALLY. This does not change.

However, the labels: Hero and Villain are Interchangeable!

In the movie: 'The Crow'...

Adversary Hero

Proponent Villain

Ally Heroine

Eric Draven was dead. He and his love were murdered. He came back from the Dead with a motive: to
get revenge. He attacked the people that killed him and then the boss that sent them to kill him and his
love. Eric was the Motive-driven ADVERSARY of this story – and yet the HERO too!

The Villain in this story was busy keeping order in his little Kingdom of Crime. Eric instigated a war
between himself and the Ruler of the city. The Villain was bothered into defending himself against Eric.
In this story, the Villain was the Action-Driven PROPONENT.

The Next-door neighbor girl, Nell didn't want the Villain burning down her neighborhood – but she didn't
want Eric seeking revenge either, because she cared about him, he was her FRIEND.

Nell was the Emotion-Driven ALLY – the Middle-Man in opposition to both the Hero & the Villain. Like a
true Middle-Man, she gets trapped between the Proponent and the Adversary in the Climax – as a
Victim. Nell was also the Viewpoint Character. Most of the movie is shown from her POV, a trademark of
an Ally.

In the movie: 'Leon: The Professional'...

Adversary Heroine

Proponent Villain

Ally Hero

12-year-old HEROINE Mathilda, is looking for a safe haven from the very Villainous and temperamental
Stansfield, a police officer, (a society-supporting PROPONENT,) that wiped out her family and intends to
get her too. Mathilda takes matters into her own hands and bothers professional assassin Leon, into
taking her in – and becomes his FRIEND.

Much of the story was filmed from Leon's POV -- trademark of an ALLY, additionally, Leon has the
opposing opinion. Leon doesn't want her there, and doesn't want the attention of the police either. He
tries to get her to keep her head down and forget, but Mathilda utterly refuses. She bullies him into
teaching her how to use a gun because as far as she's concerned, she has a Reason to use one.

Like a true ADVERSARY she stalks Stansfield to his office fully intending to shoot him dead. Mathilda was
obviously a Motive-Driven ADVERSARIAL HEROINE going after emotionally unstable Stansfield a
PROPONENT VILLAIN. Like a true Middle-Man, Action-Driven Leon is caught between them.

However, even though the entire plot for 'Leon: The Professional', was set up to let the Adversarial
Heroine face her very personal Villain; the under-aged Heroine is taught to use a gun and other
assassin's tools, the Anti-hero Ally ended up actually taking the villain out. I suspect that, at the very last
second, someone changed their mind about letting a kid kill.

And the deciding factor for a story's Villain?

The Villain's INABILITY to Change is what makes them the VILLAIN and the reason WHY they LOSE.

-- The Hero Crashes, Burns, Learns from his mistakes, and Rises Again.

-- The Villain merely Crashes and Burns. He does NOT learn from his mistakes. He does Not rise again.

And there you have it. Enjoy!

The DUAL-NATURED Character

Building the DUAL-NATURED Character

Let's start this lecture with a HUGE secret:

-- There are Three Essential Characters in every story:

> Adversary – The one causing all the trouble.

 > Proponent – The one trying to keep things the way they are.

> Ally – The close companion of one or the other caught in the middle.

In other words, you can tell any story with ONLY these Three Characters; perhaps not with any real
detail, but you could still do the entire basic plotline.

And each essential character is governed by one of three SPECIFIC aspects, or Drives:

> MOTIVE - Driven by a REASON to Make something happen, such as Revenge.

> ACTION - Driven by the need to ACT, normally because if they don't they die, but an incentive such as
a Reward or Prize works too.

> EMOTION - Driven by emotional impulse to REACT; out of love, out of honor, out of guilt...

There may be any number of side characters, but in traditional Adventures and Romances of every stripe
(erotic or not,) the main conflict is always a triangle of these complimentary opposite drives. Just to
make things Truly confusing, the Hero, the Ally, and the Villain can be any one of them!

In 'Leon – the Professional', Leon is a very Action-driven professional assassin Ally who is pestered into
taking in his Motive-driven and Adversarial Heroine who was looking for a safe haven from a very
Emotionally-driven and impulsive Proponent Villain cop.

In 'Tomb Raider' Lara Croft is an Action-driven Proponent Heroine with Emotionally-driven impulsive
Allies and Adversarial paramours that are usually, if not always, Motive-driven.

In 'Robin Hood Prince of Thieves', the Sheriff of Nottingham plays the impulsive Emotionally-Driven
Proponent Villain to Robin Hood's Motive-driven Adversarial Hero. Maid Marian is an Action-driven Ally
Heroine.

In 'The Crow', Eric Draven is the very Adversarial and Motive-driven Hero who goes after the Action-
driven Proponent Villain trying to keep his little kingdom of crime under control. The little girl Nell, is
Eric's impulsive Emotionally-driven Ally Heroine, who gets caught in the cross-fire, like any other side-
kick.

Why does a character's 'Drive' matter?

-- A Dual-Natured character possesses TWO DRIVES, one for each side of their nature.

Man against Himself

When a character is at war against his inner-nature, you treat both his likable nature, and his unlikable
nature, as separate drives (Motive / Action / Emotion,) separate URGES that are darn near separate
entities.

Example:

> Outer Man – Emotionally Driven to Protect

> Inner Beast – Motive Driven to Destroy

Additionally, the other two main characters should Frame, or bring attention to this drive and/or
personality split.

> Hero = Divided character

> Ally / Lover = Represents everything the character DESIRES, (and likes about themselves.)

> Villain = Represents everything the character HATES, (and despises about themselves.)

Duality = Main Conflict

In a story where a character's opposing nature (inner-man verses inner-beast,) is heavily pronounced,
the character and his battle with his inner nature overpowers the story, and in fact BECOMES the story.

There's nothing you can do about it either because regardless of what you may have intended to write,
once you split your main character's nature in Two, your character's "duality" becomes the story's Core
Issue = the PREMISE. Resolving that "duality," that division in their nature becomes the story's main
conflict.

If you don't, if you leave your character hanging, your readers will LOATHE you.

Hint: The Character assumes the third drive (Action / Motive / Emotion -- the one they Don't have,) to
resolve their split! The idea behind it is: Balance.

The CURE -- or not?

-----Original Message-----

What about a fight to find a "cure", for the duel-natured character, like for a werewolf?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The BIG Secret!

-- A "Dual Nature" in Fiction is symbolic of a Psychological issue – not a Physical issue.

Every monster you can think of is in actuality, a symbol of a human Issue from the dark side of the
psyche.

> Ghosts = Memories that 'haunt'

> Vampires = Manipulative Male Sexuality

> Witches =Manipulative Female Sexuality

> Sorcerers & Scientists = Control – either loss of, or overwhelming

> Werewolves = Passions that Consume

> Faeries = Inability to fit in with the society. This is why Urban Faeries tend to have a 'punk' look to
them.

> Monsters in general = Destruction

(What? So, I read a lot of Carl Jung, Wilhelm Riche, Robert Anton Wilson and Timothy Leary…)

One does Not CURE a Psychological Issue.

One learns to ADJUST to it.

It is a Proven Fact: There is No Medical Cure for Psychological Issues. Drugs do NOT make psychological
issues go away, they merely SUPPRESS their symptoms -- and only temporarily. After enough time, no
matter how powerful, ALL Drugs wear off.

There is only ONE satisfactory Answer to a split in Nature / Personality: Acceptance and INTEGRATION.
Ahem, Accepting that both sides are valid and important and learning to Adapt to its quirks.

The only other option is madness and death.

In FICTION, the search for a Cure for a dual-natured character (such as a werewolf,) is a symbolic delay
tactic; something the character does to Run Away from his ISSUE rather than face it.

A character's "Dual Nature" should be written as two Necessary halves, that need to come together to
defeat the bad guy. In fact the two halves of a personality split MUST integrate if you are to have a happy
and satisfying ending.

A CURE should be used precisely in the same fashion as a drugs are used for psychological issues: as a
Delay Tactic to Avoid the Issue by Suppressing the Issue. In fact, the application of a Cure should be used
as symbolic proof of the character's FAILURE to face and deal with their personal Issue.

Failure and the CURE: Van Helsing

In the movie "Van Helsing" the Premise: "Man vs. Monster" demanded that the answer be "self control".

Gabriel was changed into a werewolf, psychological symbol of a complete lack of control over one's
temper, (and everything Gabriel suppressed within himself.) He went from Action-Driven hero (paid to
do what he does) to Emotion-Driven monster (I am so pissed off...!) which gave him the strength and
determination necessary to defeat the Motive-Driven vampire.

Logically, (plot-wise,) Gabriel should have gained self-control over his second nature (becoming Motive-
driven to control himself -- attaining he third drive) and thus remained a werewolf, albeit able to
transform at will; gaining the prize of Controlled Fury -- and the girl.

However, after his battle, he was unable to come to terms with his "emotional" nature. He failed to gain
self-control of his Temper, and Killed his Heroine, symbol of everything he Could have had –
unconditional acceptance and love. She forgave him, (as a ghost) but that did not change the fact that he
had Failed to accept himself.

The movie's writers had no intention of killing off his character, so a remorseful suicidal cliff-dive was
right out. Instead, Gabriel was cured. However, this "cure" is a blatant flag that Gabriel will have to face
this same issue again, in a later story.

Just to keep things rounded...

Man against Nature

The Old man & the Sea

A "man against nature" tale, is in fact a "man against himself" story. The Nature elements, that the
character is in opposition with, are (or Should Be) symbolic representations of the Opposing Drives
within the character.

In 'The Old Man and the Sea' by Hemingway...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> Proponent -- Old Man, Motive driven to fish. (He needs the money.)

> Adversary -- Ocean / Weather, Unpredictable and dangerous. This is the symbol of the man's opposing
drive of Action. Fishing takes inaction and patience -- something in old man doesn't possess a lot of.

> Ally -- Shark, this is the Symbol of the old man's impulsive Emotional drive to Survive. This is the drive
he must adopt to survive the story.
Man against Man

Ravenous

When you have only two characters: Proponent, and Adversary, you give each character an opposing
Primary Drive and additionally, opposite aspects of the SAME second drive as a Sub-drive.

The first one to adopt the Third Drive (the one they DON'T have,) Wins!

In the movie "Ravenous"...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Proponent – Captain Boyd

> Main drive: Emotion Driven "Why is this Happening to me?"

> Sub-drive: Action Driven in the aspect of Refusal to Act.

Adversary – Calhoun

> Main drive: Motive Driven "I will Make something Happen."

> Sub-drive: Action Driven in the aspect of Determined to Act.

Circumstances force the "Boyd" to adopt the Third drive of MOTIVE (acquiring Purpose,) while the
"Villain" refuses to change to his third drive of EMOTION (to acquire Compassion,) and remains Motive-
driven.

The Villain's Inability to Change is why the Villain LOSES to the Hero.

Does this sound a little too planned out?

-- It should because it's Supposed to be. Another name for it is: PLOTTING. :)

Never forget:

Reality is full of Random events, however...

Fiction MUST make Sense.

Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: As with all advice, take what you can use and throw out the rest. As a multi-published
author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather
straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

Fishing for INSPIRATION?

Fishing for INSPIRATION?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Your imagination is a pond that you fish your ideas from. Like any fishing pond, what you catch depends
on what you've stocked your pond with and how much you put in there. If you fish for only the
occasional idea, your little ideas have time to breed creatively until they overflow the pond, leaping right
out into your hand -- and onto your keyboard. If you fish a lot, you will have to restock -- Frequently.

A Dry Pond = Writer's Block

What's in YOUR Imagination?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do you KNOW?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you love to Do, to Study, to Think About, to Talk About...? Make a list of all the things you know
well and all the things you've done -- seriously! Mythology, history, any retail jobs you might have had --
anything you might have seen, done, or studied.

WHO do you KNOW?

Have you ever met...?

• A real Criminal?

• A real Hero?

• A real Romantic?

• A real Stalker?

• A real Witch?

• A real Cop?

• A real Private Investigator?

• A real Soldier?

• A real Stripper?

• A real political figure?

• A real rebellious Teen?

• A real ghost?

• Someone truly in Love?

• A real happily married couple? -- with children?

• Someone who Defied the stereotypes seen on TV?

What have you DONE?

Have you ever Experienced...?

• A real loving relationship?

• An abusive relationship?

• An obsessive infatuation?

• College?
• Camping?

• Driving cross country?

• Being a problem child?

• A corporate job?

• A fast food job?

• A foreign country?

• Military service?

• Using a sword?

• Magic?

What can you ADD to your Imagination?

EVERYTHING!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The more you add to your pond – the richer and more creative your stock. For the best and most
creative results from your imagination, throw in everything that catches your attention, from Saturday
morning cartoons to the latest romance, to newspaper articles.

• Adding books and movies – will generate fun and interesting situations.

• Adding research – will add ACCURACY.

• Adding emotional experience – will add DEPTH.

• Adding physical experience – will add REALISM.

Read everything you can get your hands on from non-fiction such as history and mythology to ghost
stories, but most importantly, OBSERVE the world around you because THAT goes into your writing too.
Do things! See things! Experience things! The wider the range of information and experiences you toss in
your imagination, the wider the range of ideas you will come up with.

Give your self little Observation exercises to train yourself to write about them:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Describe exactly how it feels when your hand is sliding down a banister.

What does a wooden wall feel like as opposed to a stone wall?

Can you describe the carpet under your feet?

Can you describe the sound of your fingers on your keyboard?

What does water taste like?

Can you describe what eating a hamburger is like?

How is wearing a long skirt different from wearing pants?

Can you describe the clouds in the sky?

What does ice taste like?

Observe your friends:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Can you describe a smile?

How about a frown?

What does Worry look like on someone's face?

How is a Happy smile different from a Sarcastic smile?

Can you describe someone who is nervous?

How about angry?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your Memory of all that you've experienced is the most important tool a writer has because ALL of it
ends up in their stories. Keep your Memory sharp and well honed by using it as much as you possibly
can. This will also keep you from making the fewest MISTAKES.

Think: HOW do you KNOW?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do you actually Know -- or are you making it up as you go along? Where is your knowledge actually
coming from?

• Books?

• Role Playing Games?

• Movies?

• TV shows?
• The Internet?

• First-hand Experience?

Knowledge is POWER and Experience is even more so! Someone who has never kissed isn't going to be
able to write a kissing scene as well as someone who has. Worst of all, someone with experience will
know IMMEDIATELY when the writer doesn't know what they're talking about. Once that happens,
they're closing your story -- never to look at it again.

Hunting for the WHOPPER

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every good fisherman knows to throw back the ones that are too small, so they can grow up and be
worth catching later. The same goes for Ideas - throw back the small ideas so they can grow up to
become Big Ideas.

Never ever Rush an idea! If it's too small to use – toss it back. If you try to make a meal (a project) out of
a half-grown idea, you will only end up with a half-serving of what could have been something much
bigger, juicier, and tastier.

The only way to catch Whoppers is to let your ideas swim around in your pond until they grow up to be
Whoppers.

YOU CAN'T STEAL AN IDEA!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stealing TEXT is plagiarism, but stealing Ideas is a physical impossibility. Seeing a cool idea and tossing it
into your imagination is good for your imagination. New ideas add color, breadth, flavor, and texture to
what's already there.

But! But! But! – BULLSH!T!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every writer is different, with different things swimming around in their imaginations. You can give five
writers the exact same idea – and even let them see each others ideas – and they will still come up with
something totally different.

Case in point, VAMPIRES: Brahm Stoker, Angela Knight, Christine Feehan, Charlaine Harris, Laurell K.
Hamilton, Stephanie Meyers, and Jim Butcher. Need I say more?

In Conclusion...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keep your Imagination stocked and you will always have ideas swimming around just waiting to be
caught!
10 Second Tip - Making Titles

Do you have a tutorial on how to decide the title for your story?

When I can't decide on a title, I fall back on how the professionals do it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> No more than Three words, preferably Two. One word is considered ideal for a title.

> You can have Four if the word is 'And,' 'The,' 'A,' or something similar.

> One word for the Genre.

> Any other words should stand for:

-- the Emotion the story is trying to invoke

-- a Character

-- an Action

or

-- a Location
Examples:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Star Trek (genre + emotion)

Grimm (Genre & Emotion in one word.)

Once Upon a Time (Genre)

The Addams Family (Name = Genre + Emotion)

-- 'Addams' IS a genre because the name has been recognized and associated with "spooky" since the
1930s when the comic first appeared in 'New Yorker Magazine.'

Deep Space 9 (Genre & Location)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Character + Genre + Action)

House (name = Genre)

Wizard of Oz (Genre + Location)

Assassin's Creed (Genre + Emotion)

Walking Dead (Genre)

Nightmare Before Christmas (Genre + Emotion + Genre)

Legend of Zelda (Genre + Character)

Despicable Me (Genre + Character)

Tron (Genre)

The Matrix (Genre)

Lord of the Rings (Genre + Character) The One Ring is a Character.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Disclaimer: There is No Wrong Way to create a Title. This is merely how the professionals do it.

If you choose to create your title some other way, DO IT. Just because the pros do it this way does NOT
Invalidate how you chose your title. After all, it's YOUR Story.

Though be warned, if you get your story published by one of the big publishing houses, they will very
likely Change your title if it doesn't suit their Marketing needs. They did it to me -- Twice!
re are only a few PG-16 images and they're only suggestive, not graphic. However it does use Adult
language!!!

It's free to download AND free to use! Seriously, if the generator provides inspiration - USE IT! In fact,
that's exactly why I made it, to help erotic writers come up with plot-based Adult story ideas.

If you do download it, let me know if you like it.

-- I'm considering making one of the not-so-adult variety -- IF people show interest in something like this.

Dealing with Creative DOUBT

...I'm at the point where nothing seems right. Everything I write down is cliche, badly written, and has
bad pacing. Yet when I was younger I would turn out stories one right after the other like a non-stop
machine. But now...thanks to all those instructors and classes, the creative edge is now limping along like
a dog with only one leg.

...I don't have an agent or anything published in the first place. So that does paint an extra layer of doubt
upon the situation.

...when I discuss this, usually I'm berated with people saying, "Stop being so emo." As if depression were
something that one can simply switch on and off.

...I guess what I'm doing here is ... trying to find some kind of sign, revelation or clue that I'm not a bad
writer or that I'm just another writing loser.

You're not a bad writer or a loser of any kind.

-- You're NORMAL. :)

The truth is all artists of every kind have to deal with Doubt -- from the rank beginner to the professional.
All of us, without exception.

The dividing line between an artist and a loser is actually simple -- sheer, mule-headed, Stubborness.
Losers give up. Artists won't.

Those of us writers (and artists) that actualy make it to publication are monumentally stubborn. We
write / create in spite of being less than perfect, in spite of being depressed, or angry, or tired, or blind,
or crippled...
The best of us, like Niel Gaimen, (and Stephen King, and Nora Roberts...) USE that doubt and
stubborness to improve our skills by refusing to settle for 'good enough'. We dig up every trick we can
find and scribble our discoveries into notebooks, on notepads, (or into writing tips,) and Practice them in
little stories (or fan-fiction) until we can actually make use of them.

NO ONE is perfect, but that doesn't mean we can't tell a good story -- that we're not Artists.

Be stubborn. Seriously. It will carry you far further than anything else will -- even skill. :)

Pep Talk from Neil Gaiman

from: NaNoWriMo.Org --> www.nanowrimo.org/node/1065561

Dear Author,

By now you're probably ready to give up. You're past that first fine furious rapture when every character
and idea is new and entertaining. You're not yet at the momentous downhill slide to the end, when
words and images tumble out of your head sometimes faster than you can get them down on paper.
You're in the middle, a little past the half-way point. The glamour has faded, the magic has gone, your
back hurts from all the typing, your family, friends and random email acquaintances have gone from
being encouraging or at least accepting to now complaining that they never see you any more---and that
even when they do you're preoccupied and no fun. You don't know why you started your novel, you no
longer remember why you imagined that anyone would want to read it, and you're pretty sure that even
if you finish it it won't have been worth the time or energy and every time you stop long enough to
compare it to the thing that you had in your head when you began---a glittering, brilliant, wonderful
novel, in which every word spits fire and burns, a book as good or better than the best book you ever
read---it falls so painfully short that you're pretty sure that it would be a mercy simply to delete the
whole thing.

Welcome to the club.

That's how novels get written.

You write. That's the hard bit that nobody sees. You write on the good days and you write on the lousy
days. Like a shark, you have to keep moving forward or you die. Writing may or may not be your
salvation; it might or might not be your destiny. But that does not matter. What matters right now are
the words, one after another. Find the next word. Write it down. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

A dry-stone wall is a lovely thing when you see it bordering a field in the middle of nowhere but becomes
more impressive when you realise that it was built without mortar, that the builder needed to choose
each interlocking stone and fit it in. Writing is like building a wall. It's a continual search for the word that
will fit in the text, in your mind, on the page. Plot and character and metaphor and style, all these
become secondary to the words. The wall-builder erects her wall one rock at a time until she reaches the
far end of the field. If she doesn't build it it won't be there. So she looks down at her pile of rocks, picks
the one that looks like it will best suit her purpose, and puts it in.

The search for the word gets no easier but nobody else is going to write your novel for you.

The last novel I wrote (it was ANANSI BOYS, in case you were wondering) when I got three-quarters of
the way through I called my agent. I told her how stupid I felt writing something no-one would ever want
to read, how thin the characters were, how pointless the plot. I strongly suggested that I was ready to
abandon this book and write something else instead, or perhaps I could abandon the book and take up a
new life as a landscape gardener, bank-robber, short-order cook or marine biologist. And instead of
sympathising or agreeing with me, or blasting me forward with a wave of enthusiasm---or even arguing
with me---she simply said, suspiciously cheerfully, "Oh, you're at that part of the book, are you?"

I was shocked. "You mean I've done this before?"

"You don't remember?"

"Not really."

"Oh yes," she said. "You do this every time you write a novel. But so do all my other clients."

I didn't even get to feel unique in my despair.

So I put down the phone and drove down to the coffee house in which I was writing the book, filled my
pen and carried on writing.

One word after another.

That's the only way that novels get written and, short of elves coming in the night and turning your
jumbled notes into Chapter Nine, it's the only way to do it.

So keep on keeping on. Write another word and then another.

Pretty soon you'll be on the downward slide, and it's not impossible that soon you'll be at the end. Good
luck...
Neil Gaiman

www.neilgaiman.com/

Writing Exercise: DESCRIPTION

Creative Narrative

-- A Description exercise

For this exercise, you will need the movie Sin City. If you don't have it, The Matrix or Equilibrium will do.

WATCH the movie undisturbed from beginning to end. NO INTERRUPTIONS. This is Important!

Watch where the Camera looks. Sin City in particular is a brilliant example of how to describe using
pictures. The movie is filmed in black and white with splashes of color here and there only where the
viewer's eye needs to be.

When a character is first introduced, LOOK at how the camera starts in Close Focus on the character's
face and then pulls back to reveal the character's body, lovingly showing the viewer exactly what the
character looks like AND their distinguishing characteristics from top to bottom. THEN the view expands
wider to disclose where that character is and what they are doing at that moment.

After those first few moments of sheer View, you get a narrative from the Point of View character --
which may Not be the character the camera is showing you. You get the narrator's opinions, their
feelings, their delusions. THAT is how the viewer (the reader) learns about the character.

Once the movie is over, put on some music that fits the movie. (I actually have the soundtracks, to
these.) Next! Break out your remote control and Watch The Same Movie AGAIN -- but this time, with the
volume OFF.
Sit on your couch and Out Loud, Narrate what you are looking at. Do NOT write anything. Just talk to the
TV screen Out Loud and describe -- in detail what you are looking at as though it was a book you were
reading.

Describe the Characters.

Describe the Actions.

Describe the Fight Scenes.

Describe the Kisses.

Describe the Backgrounds and Setting

-- including the rooms and weather conditions!

Use your remote control and STOP the scene where you have difficulty describing what you are seeing.
Work at it until the words come to you. They don't have to be perfect -- close IS good enough for this
exercise.

Do NOT write anything down.

Keep going until the movie is Over.

This should help loosen up a few things in your writing mind -- and give you some strong visuals to write
from later.

Next!

-- Write a 1000 word Scene that introduces a character of YOURS. Make sure you picture the scene in
your mind with the same dramatic camera angles and close-ups the movie and Describe it so that
anyone Reading it can clearly see it.

Compare that scene with any introductory scene in a story you've already written and SEE the difference.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just so you know, this is an exercise I created to make my own writing more Visual back when I first
started writing. The movie I used was "The Lost Boys", the original 1984 version. It really helped my
ability to describe in my stories. I though other people might find it useful too.

Enjoy!
10 Second Tip: 'What about your Readers?
As writers and artists, all too often we focus so much of our energy on Creating that we forget about the
impact it will have on the people who will See it.

Consider: How do we want people to FEEL after they experience our work?

That's why people read stories, view art, and even watch movies--for the Feelings it gives them.

"I could care less about the reader. I'm writing this story strictly for myself!"

-- Oh, really? Then why are you posting it in a public place where people can find it? When "I" write
strictly for me, I certainly don't post it where other people will see it--not even on my private, friends-
only Live Journal. No one sees it but me.

Tell the truth and shame the devil.

-- If you're posting your work where others can see it--even if it's merely a private art/story site like
Deviant Art or Y! Gallery, CLEARLY you want other people to see your work and hopefully, like it. Which
means that during the creative process, you really ought to consider what you want your readers to feel
when they're done reading it:

Touched - tears of joy

Poignant - tears of heartache

Laughter

Inspired

Horny

Embarrassed

Fear

Anger

Loathing

Disgust
To quote Edgar Allen Poe:

~~~~~~~~~

“In the whole composition there should be no word written, of which the tendency, direct or indirect, is
not to the one pre-established design. And by such means, with such care and skill, a picture is at length
painted which leaves in the mind of him who contemplates it with a kindred art, a sense of the fullest
satisfaction.”
Writing Excercise: Why I Procrastinate

"On the one hand you desperately want to write; on the other, you simply don't. … This internal conflict
that manifests itself in procrastination may stem from different fears … lurking just below the level of
your awareness."

Writing Excercise:

Write down all the reasons WHY you procrastinate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why I procrastinate, (what am I afraid of?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm afraid that I'm lying to myself about being a good writer.

I'm afraid of hate mail.

I'm afraid my characters are too stupid or too strange or too emotionless.

I'm afraid my research isn't good enough.

I'm afraid that my publishers are laughing behind my back. ("You're not going to believe what she wrote
this time!")

I'm afraid that I have nothing to say other than "sex is good."

I'm afraid of being mediocre.

I'm afraid that my stories are nothing more than strictly stroke fiction.

I'm afraid that I'll write something nobody likes.

I'm afraid that I'm faking it all.

I'm afraid that nothing I write is worth keeping, or reading a second time.
I'm afraid that I've already used up all my creativity; my best characters, my best plots and it's only a
matter of time before somebody spots it.

I'm afraid that I have nothing new to write.

God, this was freaking HARD!

Creative Contemplation:

"Seize the day, and put the least possible trust in tomorrow." -- Horace

Merry Merry! Have a Visual Novel!

Happy Holidays!

-- As my gift to you, I made a visual novel!

Yaoi Story

An Erotic Kinetic Novel Game

Powered by Ren'Py

Story & Graphics by Me!

Details, Screenshots & Downloads --> www.mangabullet.com/OokamiKasu…

Game Play: This is a Mad-Libs type of game where the user puts in character names, objects, body parts,
and perversions that are added to the story. There are 5 locations to choose from that add variations to
the plot-line.

How I trained myself to have a Photographic Memory.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Shortly after I published my very first story, I was introduced to the phrase: "Write What You Know."

I was horrified.

I was horrified because I was still in high school and living with my Mother in a very small New England
town. Other than a few encounters with a couple of ghosts, and what I had looked up in my local library,
(keep in mind this was 1980, the internet hadn't been invented yet,) I knew Nothing. Seriously, I had no
personal experience doing Anything.

What the heck was I supposed to write if I only wrote what I knew?

I had yet to learn how to drive a car, but that was okay. I was damned good at riding the bus. However, I
still hadn't had my first kiss yet so relationship stories of Any kind were right out. Forget stories that had
guns or weapons, though I could use a sling-shot and swung a mean baseball bat. (Don't make me break
out my pocketbook!) Forget stories with horses in it, though I did know how to feed and train a dog.

I had three younger brothers so I had some experience with childcare, but having learned my techniques
from a sociopathic parent (Not a Joke,) writing from those experiences would have landed that character
in the villain slot, pronto. (The scary part was that I was aware of this back then!) I sucked at sports and
had no friends, so those kinds of stories were out too.

In short, the sum total of my knowledge was strictly from books. Which was to say, Not Useful toward
making a story realistic in even the vaguest sense.

Even worse, I discovered that my memory Leaked. I could remember things long enough to pass a test,
but that was as far as it got.

Since moving out of my mom's house wasn't looking too close to happening, experiencing new things
had to be put on hold. Instead I started working on my memory.

I tried a number of techniques but what worked for me was a type of Image Association.

-- In short, staring hard at something and then later, Drawing it. Or rather, trying to. I was an okay artist,
nothing terrific, believe me, but I noticed right away that if I drew a picture whatever I was trying to
remember stayed in my head better. Even doodling in the bottom corner of my notebook worked. The
really interesting thing was that the picture didn't have to be related at all to what I was trying to
remember! Though it worked better if it was.

Strangely enough, cutting pictures out of magazines worked too, though not nearly as well. I had to
really stare at the picture and recite out loud what it was I was trying to remember.

This led to the next step: Recitation.

-- This meant quite literally, staring hard at a scene I wanted to write about later, such as the park during
the height of autumn, or a thunderstorm, and describing it out loud -- without writing it down. Just
spitting out adjectives that described what I was looking at, or what I was Feeling, such as what the brass
handrail in school felt like sliding under my hand while walking down the stairs. After only a couple of
tries, it didn't even have to be out loud. Saying it in my head or under my breath worked too.

I never did recall exactly what I said, but I recalled the experience Perfectly. In other words, Sensory
Association.

By the way, the Schoolhouse Rock multiplication jingles saved my math grade, seriously. If I sang along
with the cartoon, I remembered it. ALL of it. In fact, I still remember them. Recitation + Images.

About a month or two after I started doing all that, the flip-side of those exercises suddenly kicked in. I
started Picturing what I was reading while I read it. In other words, I was playing a movie in my head of
whatever I was reading. Though it was a bit more than that. My memory added the experiences I'd
worked to remember. If the writer mentioned 'forest', my memory automatically added the sound of the
wind, bird-calls, the smell of moldering earth, the specific colors of the leaves in sunlight, and the chilly
brush of a breeze.

That doesn't seem like such a big deal, but it had one hell of a side effect.

I could remember anything I'd read. That included Text Books. If the text books had pictures it was even
easier. I was actually able to remember the names and stories of any historical figure simply by picturing
that person's portrait.

However, I was not remembering the Words, only the images I'd seen and the Stories that went with it.
This actually worked well when I needed to answer essay questions.

However, my ability to remember things in a list; dates, names, phone numbers, groceries I needed to
buy...dropped off the face of the earth. If I didn't have a picture to connect with what I was trying to
remember, it left my head almost the moment it went in.

My last two years of high school saw a major lift in my grades in every subject except One: Math. I still
suck at math. Numbers simply don't bring up images. I could remember my times tables, (thank you
Schoolhouse Rock,) but that was IT. Geometry was fine because the formulas were all associated with
shapes, but Algebra was right out.

One would think that Grammar would have been difficult to remember, but it wasn't. I was using it
almost daily in my story notebooks. (When one is writing a story, one NEEDS punctuation to have it make
sense to the reader.) Repetition saved me there.

Later on, I finally left home and gathered a great number of wildly varying experiences. I still can't recall
all the names of the people I met, but their faces are all engraved on my mind along with everything I
experienced down to the weather conditions on the day it happened.
Picture Association and Sensory Association...

-- Those were the keys to how I trained my memory to recall anything I'd seen or done clearly enough to
write it on paper. I'm still amazed by how much I haven't forgotten.

Enjoy!
10 Second Tip: Smex Isn't Everything.

10 Second Tip:

Smex ISN'T Everything.

No matter what you've been told about making your stories popular, Smex isn't everything. People will
Fav a damned good story Without smex faster than they will some slap-dash PWP. Believe me, I do it all
the time. *grin*

The truth is, people Fav what makes them React. Whether it's getting them hot, laughing out loud, or
weeping--they Fav'd it because it made them feel something strong enough to have a reaction. Look at
your own Fav's and think back on WHY you Fav'd it. What reactions did you have to those stories? What
did they make You feel?

The hard part is that in order to put those feelings on paper, you actually have to feel them while you're
doing it--which is why I really hate writing Angst.

Having problems writing a scene?

-- Whether it's angst, crack, or smex, EMBARRASSMENT is normally the culprit behind that form of
writer's block.

How do you get past it?

-- Memorize this: You are Not your characters. That this idea came to you is Not because it's something
You would do, but because it's something THEY would. You're just following their train of thought to its
logical (or illogical) conclusion. See?

DISCLAIMER: As with all advice, take what you can use and throw out the rest. As a multi-published
author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather
straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10 Second Tip: Stuck on a SHORT Story?
10 Second Tip:

Stuck on a SHORT Story?

Stuck on what to put in your story?

-- This is the list of things I check off when I create a story:

Do you have a Setting in mind?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Sci-fi

- Historical

- Modern day

- Fantasy

Do you have ONE big main event for the story to focus on?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- A battle

- An escape

- A love scene

- An act of revenge

- A sacrifice

- A treasure to claim

- A magic spell

- A transformation
Do you know what you want to SAY with your story?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Love sucks.

- Friendship is forever.

- No good deed goes unpunished.

- A snake can only ever be a snake.

- Sometimes you have to take chances.

- Magic makes things worse, not better.

Do you know where you want to END your story?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- A wedding?

- A funeral?

- A bloody battlefield?

- An empty street?

- The bottom of an ocean?

Do you have your three central characters ready?

-- Just to make things interesting, any one of these three could be the Hero, the Villain, or the Ally.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- A main character that personifies what your story is trying to say?

- A main character that personifies an opposing opinion of the same topic?

- A buddy / friend/ love interest of one or both to personify Joe Normal stuck in the Middle?
Why did I mention Characters last?

-- Instead of making a story for my characters, I do the opposite. I make characters for my story.

Some people can come up with a cool character and then build a story around them. Sadly, I am not one
of those. I can build a back-story just fine, but my back-stories are never good enough to be the Main
Story. A back-story is how a character GOT his Issues. The main story is how they FIXED those Issues. See
the difference?

Anyway...

-- When I'm stuck on a story, I try thinking on these questions and often, they'll jog something loose.

Enjoy!

A 10 Second Tip:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“The true critic will but demand that the (story’s) design intended be accomplished, to the fullest extent,
by the means most advantageously applicable…"

-- Edgar Allen Poe

In other words, not only should every character, object, and event in your tale have a reason to be there,
the story itself should have a Purpose -- and a Motive.

Think: What are you trying to SAY with your story?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love Conquers All

Greed makes one Greedier

Love = Insanity

Love doesn't always mean Happiness

Love isn't always Nice

You Reap what you Sow

No good deed goes Unpunished.

You can't escape Yourself

A Snake will always be a Snake

Sometimes, Love means Letting Go

Sometimes, Love means Giving In

Appetites will find a way to be Filled

Revenge only brings Misery

Most of all...

Only put in what you intend to USE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Names, places, actions, and events--every single thing in your story should have a reason to be there,
whether it's for emotional impact, symbolism, or to take the characters one step closer to the intended
climax. Every element you include should have a Purpose.

To test the importance of an element, ask:

~~~~~~~~~~~~

* Why this place and not another?

* Why this name and not another?

* Why this action, this speech, and not others--or none at all?

The answers should be:

~~~~~~~~~~~~

* To make each scene Memorable in your Readers' minds.

* To illustrate the hidden side of your characters' drives and motives.

* To prepare the characters for their climactic scene.

Also:

* To frame and/or offset the point you're trying to make.

* To make your characters come to life on the page.

* To make the End logical.

In other words, if it's in your story, it should:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- DO something.

or

-- SHOW something.

or

-- Make something HAPPEN.

In Conclusion...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No matter how short or long, a story should illustrate an idea, a theory, an emotion, an argument or
even a pet peeve to the reader. This means everything in your story should be there to do just that --
make your point, even if it's only to deliver the punch-line to a joke.

Enjoy!
'How do I make my stories POPULAR?'

"How do I make my stories POPULAR?"

That's easy:

-- Write something everyone wants to read.

"How do you find out what everyone wants to read?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a story site that's even easier:

-- Check out the 20 Most Popular Stories (who has the most Fav's,) and figure out what they have in
common. Also, pay attention to the posted comments. The readers will state their likes and dislikes right
there.

Begin by making a list of the most common elements:

Types of characters:

-- Not what they LOOK like, their Personality types!

What's the preferred type of Main Character?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ordinary Person

Genius

Moron

Other...?

What type of Heroine?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sweet
Sour

Mature

Silly

Sarcastic

Other...?

What type of Hero?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Strong & silent

Sweet & caring

Sarcastic & rude

Other...?

What type of Villain?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ordinary Person

Genius

Moron

Strong & silent

Sarcastic & rude

Sweet

Sour

Mature

Silly

Other...?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Character Age?:

Teens

20's

30's

40's

Other...?

Types of STORIES...

Story Genre:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fantasy

Sci-fi

Adventure

Contemporary

Romance

Horror

Gothic

Suspense

Yaoi

Other...?
Setting:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castle

Forest

Office

Condo

Farm

High School

Other...?

Time Period:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Middle Ages

Modern Era

Ancient times

Other...?

Types of Action Scenes?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One on one fight scenes

Huge epic battles

Grand Chases

Captures

Grand Escapes

Monster Attacks
Smut

Other...?

Love Scenes?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Romantic

Rape

Bondage & Kink

Seduction (mild Non-Con)

Just kissing

No love scenes at all.

Other...?

Pairings?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M/M

F/F

M/F/M

F/M/F

Other...?

Any Other common factors to these popular stories?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

?
Once you know all these things, all you have to do is write within these parameters -- and write WELL.

Sometimes the only difference between a Winner and a Dud Is NOT the content, but HOW it's written.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many readers here are forgiving of bad grammar and head-hopping. I am NOT one of them, and I am
NOT alone.

When you have a lot of people that write the same thing, someone that takes the time to use their spell-
check and proper paragraphing will always pull ahead of those that don't. Someone that's easy to read
will always have more readers than someone who writes stuff you have to struggle through just to figure
out what the heck is happening.

SKILL counts a hell of a lot more than you think.

Why didn't I bother to list Story Length in my list above?

-- Because when a story is GOOD people will gladly read an Epic. (Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings
anyone?)

------Original Message------

Skill doesn't always count, example "Twilight".

-- Disgusted Guy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Actually, Twilight is a prime example of 'writing what the Readers want to Read'. It's a Fantasy about an
extremely powerful and inhumanly gorgeous guy that worships the ground his very ordinary and fairly
selfish beloved walks on. It's the fantasy of True Love. ("No matter what you do, or how often you walk
head-first into danger, I will always drop whatever I am doing and be there to protect you. You will
always come First in my life--forever.") This is EXACTLY what teenagers and housewives love to read. That
it has absolutely Nothing to do with the realities of love is precisely what makes it so popular.

Yes, the grammar, spelling, and sentence structure sucks, plus it's seriously draggy in places, but there is
Nothing out there to compete with it. The only stories that come close to this are childrens' Fairy Tales
and the Bodice Ripper romances of the 80's. If someone else were to write a bunch of pure TRUE LOVE
fantasies and actually know how to write, they'd put her out of business.
By the way, want to know what Else is just as popular and has exactly the same theme? Walt Disney's
Beauty and the Beast.

"Does popularity Really matter?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whether or not Popularity matters depends on WHY the writer posts their work.

For someone just writing to be creative and express themselves, popularity isn't all that important.
They're writing to please themselves, so if someone else likes it too...? Well, that's just dandy, but that's
not why they're writing.

Popularity = "You actually read my work? Wow, thanks."

A goodly number of writers consider an increasing number of views and comments as a sort of gauge to
tell them whether or not their writing skills have improved.

Popularity = "I must be getting Better!"

Many, many more submitters to story sites post simply to get attention. Ahem, popularity. Just look at all
the stories that DEMAND reviews and/or comments before they'll post the next chapter? If that isn't a
scream for acknowledgment, I don't know what is.

Popularity = "I am Cool."

Sadly, those writers don't often last long. The first hard critique they get usually breaks them of their
delusion that the readers will be satisfied with anything posted in a highly read fandom. Once that
delusion of grandeur, that they're SOMEBODY just because they posted, is gone -- so are they.

The ones that do make it past that first hard critique often become dedicated to making their stories
worth the praise they originally sought. Those writers also tend to improve fast.

In my case, popularity = PAYCHECK.

-- I'm an author and books that don't sell well--aren't popular with my readers, mean less money in the
bank when it comes time to pay my rent. But that's just me.
In Conclusion...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you're looking to make your stories popular, there's no getting around the fact that the only way to do
it is by writing what the readers want to read and Better than anyone else.

However, if your purpose for writing is merely to please your creative urges -- don't worry about. When
you write just to be creative, the only one you really need to please is yourself.

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DISCLAIMER: As with all advice, take what you can use and throw out the rest. As a multi-published
author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather
straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SHOWING TELLING?

What's the Difference between SHOWING and TELLING?

From an exercise on writing Action Scenes...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angel bent over, groaning in pain. " Damn Blondie why the Hell did you punch me in the stomach like
that?"

The next thing Buffy knew, he had his hands around her ankles and she was dangling over the edge of
the railing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oopsie ~ we’re TELLING! I can see why you did it. You'd have to add a few more paragraphs just to
describe what happened, but Action Scenes should be SHOWN not TOLD.

-----Original Message-----

I see that advice a lot, and the odd time I understand it, but not often enough, or how it’s actually done.
How do you SHOW that scene above, not tell it? I get the two confused – to my addled brain sometimes
showing seems to be telling…and vice versa. Could you give us an idea of how it could look if shown, not
told?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The reason this was TELLING was the fact that she didn’t SHOW us step by step, how Buffy got into that
position, she simply TOLD us that it had happened.

When a writer is pressed for word-count and time, Telling happens. TELLING is perfectly okay in a
repeated action, but its good manners to detail that action the first time so the reader has a nice clear
picture in their mind of what that happening looks like.

SHOWING is about Mind Pictures...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you write a story, you are making a MOVIE for the reader. Telling is when you plant a cue – rather
than illustrating a scene.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He bent over groaning in pain. "Damn Blondie, why the Hell did you punch me in the stomach like that?"

The next thing she knew, <-- This is a cue!/ he had his hands around her ankles and she was dangling
over the edge of the railing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You have to guess what happened from the time he was bent over and groaning in pain to her dangling
over the railing. If you have to GUESS how a character did something, you’ve been TOLD, not Shown.

Many writers don’t realize that they are writing CUES instead of Pictures, because that's what they see in
a lot published mainstream books: "Monkey See - Monkey Do."

"Well if they can do it - why is it Wrong?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A LOT of published authors get away with TELLING through Cues, because they are making up for it by
detailing something else instead: Drama, Dialogue, Atmosphere, Science, Magic... Unfortunately, a lot of
new writers miss this.

Case in point, most Romance novels TELL -- a Lot. They don't bother with detailed action of any kind
because Romances are NOT being read for their ACTION, they’re being read for their EMOTION, their
Drama. Romances as a rule, make up for their lack of Action with detailed emotional Drama -- and the
Emotional Drama in a Romance is Very detailed.

On the flip-side, readers of Vampire Horror or Vampire Erotica won't touch a mainstream Vampire
Romance with a ten-foot pole because there's too much Drama and no real Action in it.

Anyway...

-- If the above scene had been TOLD, it might have looked something like this:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He bent over groaning in pain. "Damn Blondie, why the Hell did you punch me in the stomach like that?"

Buffy grinned and spoke in her sweetest voice. “Maybe because you deserved it?”

Angel looked up with his eyes narrowed. “I deserved it?” His lip curled. “Is that so?” His entire body
tensed, straining the seams in his coat.

Uh oh… She took a half-step back.

Angel came from his crouch in a rush of hard hot muscle and barreled into her to bear-hug her around
the waist in an iron grip, as though she’d been a football player on the opposing team, and shoved her
backwards to the wall.

Buffy’s high heels skidded unpleasantly on the stone flags then the back of her knees hit the wall and she
tipped backwards. “Oh shit!” She grabbed onto his coat lapels and stared into his face from less than a
kiss away.
Angel grinned, showing the curving length of his long incisors. “I deserved it huh?” He shoved.

Buffy tipped back into open space and squealed in surprised. She knew the fall wouldn’t kill her. She’d
survived far worse, but God, it was embarrassing.

With faster than human reflexes, Angel caught her around the ankles.

Buffy found herself dangling over the edge of the railing, with her skirt slipping down toward her waist.
She groaned. She just knew his eyes were on her pink cotton panties. She just knew it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

See?

Only ONE POV...?

From: Randy Ingermanson's Advanced Fiction Writing E-zine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...When your reader is experiencing your {story}, whatever scene she is reading is the absolute most
important scene to her. If that scene is good, then your reader believes the {story} is good. If that scene
stinks, then your reader believes the {story} is skank.

The first thing you need to get right when writing a scene is this:

Who is the viewpoint character?

Let me define what I mean by that.

You must choose one character that the reader will identify with throughout the entire scene. That
character is called the viewpoint character (or sometimes the point-of-view character, often abbreviated
as POV character).

During the course of the scene, a major part of your goal is to persuade your reader that SHE is the POV
character.

That is no small trick. Your reader might be a rich, female, teenage Caucasian, while your POV character
might be a poor, male, century-old Wookie. How are you going to persuade the reader that she IS the
POV character?

More importantly, WHY would you want to do that?

The answer is simple. You want to give your reader ... a "Powerful Emotional Experience." I have long
been convinced that this is the main reason your reader reads.

To give your reader this Powerful Emotional Experience, you have to create an emotive context. That
means getting inside one character to the exclusion of all others.
Why be exclusive? Why not let your reader share the experience with all the characters in the scene?

Because that's how people experience life.

There are two kinds of people in the world -- you and everyone else. You experience yourself from inside
your own skin, inside your eyes, inside your ears. You experience everyone else as outside your skin,
outside your eyes, outside your ears.

Your reader knows this perfectly well. When you insert your reader into your Storyworld, there is only
one way to do so which will feel natural: Inserting your reader inside the skin and eyes and ears of
exactly one of the characters.

The POV character will normally be a person. Rarely, it will be an animal. More rarely a plant. Even more
rarely, an inanimate object.

Beginning writers often want to make their POV character some omniscient god-like person who sees
into all minds, (Mary Sue / Gary Stu in GodMode.) That's a mistake, because your Reader is NOT
omniscient. (I am willing to bet money on this.) Making your POV character omniscient will feel
unnatural.

So why do some beginning writers want to use an omniscient point of view? Usually, it's because they
have read a good novel that used omniscient POV and assume that the novel was good because it used
omniscient POV. In reality, the novel was good EVEN THOUGH it used omniscient POV.

Some writers will even argue, "Charles Dickens wrote in omniscient POV, so I can too."

When someone takes this line with me, I sometimes say, "When you can write fiction one tenth as well
as Charlie, then you can use omniscient POV." Which is a little unkind, but it's probably nicer than
sticking a fork in their eye.

On days when I'm feeling a bit more patient, I observe that great writers of the past made many stupid
mistakes, such as beating their wives, pickling their livers in alcohol, getting killed in duels, and using
omniscient POV.

All of these are frowned on today.

Great writers of the past were great writers in spite of the mistakes they made, not because of them. It is
widely agreed nowadays that the goal of the fiction writer is to make the reader identify with one
particular character in each scene.

It's perfectly fine, of course, to make the reader identify with different characters in different scenes.
Most modern novelists have several POV characters in each book, switching to a different one with each
new scene. That works very well.

The only hazard is that if your scenes are too short, your reader will start feeling jerked around.
What doesn't work is "head-hopping" -- putting your reader inside the head of first one character, then
another, then another, all within the same scene. Then the reader doesn't know whom to identify with.

Yes, there are some writers these days who still practice head-hopping. They get away with it because
they are good storytellers whose strengths outweigh their weaknesses. But their editors wish they would
stop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Writing Adventures ~ A Summery

Writing Adventures ~ A Summery

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note: This is the summery of a huge article I found about seven years ago on the 'net. Unfortunately, I
didn't bother to record the actual name of the article or the author's name. I was more than a little lax
about how I collected information back then. Worse still, the bulk of this has been removed, rewritten
and/or paraphrased for brevity and easy grasping. If you happen to know where this came from, please
let me know!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• The STORY is the single most important thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No one is going to read a book that doesn't have a bold, fast-moving story with a clear course of action
that comes to a satisfactory conclusion without too many dangling ends. Any mystery has to be solved;
any goals should be achieved; and most characters have to be given what they deserve.

• Don't be BORING - for more than half a page (125 words) at most.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ahem... A properly formatted manuscript page is 250 words.

NO: lectures on the rules of magic or astrology - for more than half a page

NO: artistic description - for more than half a page

NO: descriptions of machinery not necessary for the story - for more than half a page

NO: loving re-creation of how it felt to be in, say, 1920 AD or 2000 BC- for more than half a page. Unless
this is demonstrated in narrative, it is just a history lesson.

NO: social documentary lectures - for more than half a page

NO: preaching - for more than half a page

NO: general ranting of any kind - for more than half a page

NO: extensive soul-searching - for more than half a page

NO: long exposition of ANY KIND that is unbroken by action - for more than half a page.

• What interests Kids – STILL Interests Adults

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DO: cars
DO: guns

DO: computers

DO: gadgets

DO: expertise

DO: frightening things

DO: witches, wizards and magic, but don't repeat what has already been done. It's BORING the second
or fifth time around.

Give the Reader an experience they can get no other way.

• Offer HOPE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If your desire is to give a detailed account of bullying, or drug addiction, or parental abuse, fine, but it
does no good just to do ONLY that. 'Readers' in these situations know all about them, better than you
probably do, and will find such narratives boring, while 'Readers' who don't know are going to find them
either glum or repulsive. You have to show someone handling these situations or, better, overcoming
them.

We are programmed to like puzzles, and try for solutions. The best plot for (any) book distances the
Reader from her or his problems, so that they become puzzles that the Reader can turn this way and
that, and follow with the author to the solution. Do that, and you have made a blueprint for living.

• It is very unimaginative to discourage (anyone) from aiming as high as they can.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is better to show someone aiming at the moon and only getting halfway than to show them trying to
climb to the roof and only getting to the bathroom.

• The PLACES where your story happens are as important as the story itself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Visualize. See the place in your mind, as wholly and exactly as you can, as if you were standing in the
place yourself, and then simply write the story that happens there.
• Don't foist on the Reader a loving description of something that has NOTHING to do with the story.

• Use DYNAMIC Characters

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The people in your book make the story happen. It follows that they usually have to be fairly strong,
dynamic characters, and some of them have to be people that the Reader would follow willingly into the
action - likeable, understandable, a loveable rogue and so on.

Before you start writing, you will need to know your characters so well that you can hear their voices -
then what they say will come out right without you really trying - and see details that won't get into the
book, like the way they walk and what they habitually wear.

• Beware of making absurd random changes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unexplained random changes destroy any feeling of the reality of the story, such as Toad in The Wind in
the Willows who is sometimes frog-size and sometimes human-size.

• Make your Villains HATEFUL.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EVERYONE likes to have a good hate. Understanding the baddies may seem politically correct, but is not
recommended. Children, rightly to my mind, regard this sort of milky tolerance with contempt.

You can ache with sympathy for your villain and delicately comprehend exactly what childhood trauma
caused her or him to be such a nasty piece of work, so long as you also remind them that they are also
really quite hateful.

• Simple Words are NOT always the Better choice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is not necessary to limit yourself only to easily-understood words. After all, how else are the Readers
going to learn new words unless they read them? On the other hand, almost anything worth saying can
be said in short, simple words, and tends to make a greater impact if it is. The advice here is not to start
your book with a string of unusual words, which will be off-putting, but to include them by all means
when the context makes it clear what the words mean.

• Your sentences must be constructed so that readers will not lose their way in them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you are in any doubt, read the sentence aloud. This will almost infallibly show you if it is right or
wrong, because you will get in a muddle if it is wrong.

• Never actually specify the character's actual ages.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No one is more humiliated than the 12-year-old who eagerly follows the adventures of a strong
character, only to find that this character is five years old.

• Watch for the Inner Squirm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good enough is NEVER Good Enough.

• Don't Leave Anything Out

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every story has to have reasons for the things that happen in it. Make SURE you include the Reasons for
those happenings!

• Clichés make your book very Ordinary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clichés are not only found in descriptive passages, but in whole Stories as well, such as when our
romantic heroine dislikes a tall dark stranger on sight and then marries him in chapter 30.

Take the time to actually describe the actions and situations. Take the time to make your passages and
story DIFFERENT.

• When you End your story, make sure all the important facts are accounted for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like explaining why the villain did what he did, or making sure that Jack is not still buried alive in a
mineshaft.

• Finally, Don't end it as a dream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's CHEATING.

The Peculiar Popularity of sparkly vampires, Pokemon, and other fairy-tale

Lovers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think I finally figured out why teenagers and housewives loooove the young adult vampire series
"Twilight" so damned much. Well, to begin with, it was written by a teenager with blatant teenage (read:
immature and childish) views on Love.

The teenage view of love...?

It's ROMANCE with all the hearts, flowers, angst, and over the top statements of eternal devotion that
one finds in the most popular of fairy tales -- and romance novels.

Specifically, a handsome and powerful man that sees her as the most beautiful girl in the world
('Cinderella',) who will do anything and everything to win -- and keep -- her love ('Princess on a Glass
Hill'.) Add to this mix the Bad Boy image; the Monster who loves only Her and will tear apart any foe
simply to see her smile, and you have the world's most beloved fairy tale -- and the blue-print for the
only romance novels that actually sell: 'Beauty and the Beast'.

In short, the teenage view of love is a rot-gut fantasy that contains no resemblance to the reality of love
what so ever. As in, birth control, morning breath, and hoping he calls you later for an actual date rather
than just a quickie after work.

Where does 'Pokemon' come in?

Hmm, a story whose central theme is about adorable little monsters that love only their trainer, and who
will attack anyone said trainer asks them to on command? Even I can see the appeal, but beyond that,
can you say Pre-Teen 'Beauty and the Beast' for girls -- and boys?

Still not seeing the connection? Think: pet.

A Pokemon is a magical Pet completely devoted to their 'owner'.

Now, consider this.

When one fantasizes about love one thinks in terms of:

- One who loves YOU -- no matter what.

- One who will do whatever it takes to make you happy -- no matter what.

- One who stays at your side at all times simply waiting for you to speak and/or command them -- no
matter what.

- One who is so handsome, powerful, clever, etc. that You are the envy of all who see him because he is
the BEST.

See it now?

The fantasy of love says: lover = a handsome, adoring pet who will always come to our rescue, fetch us
anything we want, and forgive all transgressions, including extreme selfishness.

*snort* Not even my childhood collie-shepherd dog was that devoted to me. Let me tell you, when
danger reared its ugly head she was gone like a shot.
Anyway, I'm sure it's pretty easy to understand why teenagers adore the fantasy of love that is 'Twilight'.
Teenagers who've never fallen in love simply don't know any better, but why housewives? Housewives
do know better, right?

Yes, the average housewife knows the reality of love very well indeed. They know quite intimately that
love isn't when someone falls in love with them. It's when they do. It's the awful reality of finding oneself
helplessly devoted to someone else's happiness whether they actually deserve it or not -- and often at
the cost of their personal hopes and dreams.

That doesn't mean they Like it.

Knowing the reality of love doesn't mean that they don't wish with every fiber of their being that the
fantasy was true and the reality a lie--while washing dishes and changing dirty diapers at top speed so
they can get the kids to the daycare/school fast enough to get to their job on time.

Which would you prefer, seriously?

* The fantasy of romantic love with someone utterly fantastic eternally devoted to only you?

* Or the harsh reality of love where You are the one eternally devoted to someone rather ordinary that
may not even love you back?

And now you know why sparkly vampires and other fairy-tale lovers are so very popular -- especially with
those who know the reality better than anyone else.

Keep in mind, women aren't the only ones with unrealistic fantasies about love. Guys dream of lover-
pets too, but most call that porn or hentai.

At least, in my opinion.

Character Creation

For those new writers who don’t know what a character sheet looks like, take a look at this one:

Name:
Nickname:

Name when called while being mocked: (For example: Loser, dumb-ass, half-breed)

Address: If character moves thought the story list the different locations

Phone Number:

Date & Place of Birth: (put something here, even if it’s just “swamp on other world, 10 years before first
event in story”)

Height/Weight/Physical Description:

Citizenship/Ethnic Origin:

Parents’ Names & Occupations:

Other Family Members:

Names of siblings:

Spouse or Lover:

Friends’ Names & Occupations:

Friends’ phone numbers: (different aria code?)

Social Class: (If alien or tribesman, list the available social classes)

Education: (literate or illiterate? Knows much more than simple subtraction and division? If alien, what
number base does he count numbers with [we use base 10])

Names of types of animals and plants that (name) has regular exposure to:

Names of types of terrains (name) is regularly exposed to: (deserts, mountains, neighborhoods)

Names of types of foods (name) is regularly exposed to: (hamburger, raw human flesh, tofu)

Knowledge of family history (how many generations does it go back)

Knowledge of cultural history (hey kids, when did the civil war happen? Name at least one general from
each warring side.)

Occupation/Employer:

Employer’s Social Class:

Salary: If an alien or tribesmen, describe what currency is used, and how currency is obtained (if there
are other ways beyond labor and barter to obtain currency).

Community Status:

Job-Related Skills:

Political Beliefs/Affiliations:

Hobbies/Recreations:

Personal Qualities (imagination, physically strong, charismatic, etc.):

Personal Qualities relating to work (Diligent, slacker, does not question authority)

Ambitions:

Fears/Anxieties/Hangups:

Intelligence:

Sense of Humor: (Dark humor, toilet humor, puns)

Most Painful Setback/Disappointment:

Most Instructive/Meaningful Experience:

Health/Physical Condition/Distinguishing Marks/Disabilities:

Sexual Orientation/Experience/Values:

Tastes in food, drink, art, music, literature, decor, clothing:

Attitude toward Life:

Attitude toward Death:

Philosophies (each in a phrase or short paragraph): (put something here, even if it’s “Innocent men don’t
flee” or “Smart people will try to cheat you”)