Compiled By

Oh Teik Bin Email: ohteikbin@gmail.com

Steven Lee Email: frodo_steven123@yahoo.com

Creativity
Thoughts
Thinking Puzzles
Humor
Wisdom

Wit
Stories

Epigrams
Inspiration
Riddles

Proverbs
Quotes
Aspirations

Affirmations Motivation
 Compiled By
Oh Teik Bin Email: ohteikbin@gmail.com
Steven Lee Email: frodo_steven123@yahoo.com

CO6TE6TS
Affirmations, Aspirations & Prayers 1
Creative Riddles 11
Growing With Epigrams 18
Humor Matters 21
Lessons From Humor Pics 33
Motivation Lists 43
Proverbs For Reflection 53
Puzzles And Teasers 60
Quotes To Live By 68
Sayings Of The Buddha 75
Story With A Message 81
Thoughts Of Inspiration 91

Answers To Riddles and Puzzles 101

www.dhammatelukintan.blogspot.com
* 10 Rules For A Happy Day

1. TODAY I WILL 6OT STRIKE BACK:

If someone is rude, if someone is impatient, if someone is unkind... I will not
respond in a like manner.
2. TODAY I WILL RADIATE METTA TO MY “E6EMY”:
If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I will radiate
METTA to that individual. I understand the "enemy" could be a family
member, neighbor, co-worker or stranger.
3. TODAY I WILL BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT I SAY:
I will carefully choose and guard my words, being certain that I do not spread
gossip.
4. TODAY I WILL GO THE EXTRA MILE:
I will find ways to help share the burden of another person.
5. TODAY I WILL FORGIVE:
I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come my way.
6. TODAY I WILL DO SOMETHI6G 6ICE FOR SOMEO6E, BUT I
WILL 6OT DO IT SECRETLY:
I will reach out anonymously and bless the life of another.
7. TODAY I WILL TREAT OTHERS THE WAY I WISH TO BE
TREATED:
I will practice the golden rule - "Do unto others as I would have them do unto
me" - with everyone I encounter.
8. TODAY I WILL RAISE THE SPIRITS OF SOMEO6E WHO IS
DISCOURAGED:
My smile, my words, my expression of support, can make the difference to
someone who is wrestling with life.
9. TODAY I WILL 6URTURE MY BODY:
I will eat less; I will eat only healthy foods. I will count my Blessings for all
the things I have.
10. TODAY I WILL GROW SPIRITUALLY:
I will spend a little more time in prayer today: I will begin reading something
spiritual or inspirational today; I will find a quiet place (at some point during
this day) and meditate.

May All Of You Be Well And Happy! 1

Affirmations for Love
"I am surrounded by love"
"I love and accept myself exactly as I am"
"I know that I deserve love and I accept it now"
"I am a loving, beautiful, creative person and this is
reflected in my relationships with others"
"Loving myself unconditionally brings healing and an
abundance of love into my life"
"The love I give out returns to me multiplied"
"Love flows through my body, shines in my face and
radiates out from me in all directions"
Affirmations for Joy
"I go with the flow and my life is easy and filled with joy"
"I see the beauty in my surroundings and I radiate joy and
love"
"I am grateful for all the wonderful things I already have in
my life and those that are yet to come"
"As I learn to love myself I can feel the love and joy from
my own heart flow through my body and radiate out to
others"
"I increasingly relax and accept the good that I now know I
deserve in my life"
"I regularly take time out to do the things I want and love to
do; I follow my heart and feel a sense of freedom and
release"
"I now choose thoughts that nourish and support me in a
loving and positive way" 2
AFFIRMATIONS,
ASPIRATIONS AND
PRAYERS 3
* I am thankful for all the love in my life.
* I manifest wonderful things in my life when I let my thoughts come
from a loving place in my heart.
* I acknowledge my hurt or anger and I release it safely and easily.
* I am a joyous, creative, loving expression of life.
* Loving myself completely means I have more love to give others.
* As I trust in the process of life what I need comes to me and I give
grateful thanks when it does.
* Love surrounds me, flows within me and radiates out from me so
that all who come into contact with me feel healed and nourished .
* I make choices that are good for me.
I choose to put myself at the top of my priority list knowing that
when I am well and happy I can help others even more.
* Wonderful new opportunities are opening up for me. My vision is
clear and my future is bright.
* Today I will have an emotional detoxification.
I choose to think only positive thoughts.
* I love and accept myself as I am for I know that I am always doing
the best I can in any situation.
* Everything is working out perfectly for my highest good and I
remember to repeat this to myself whenever a challenge appears.
* I appreciate the miracle that is my body and I take loving care of it.
My body instinctively knows what it needs and what makes me
healthy and whole, I listen.
* There is an abundance of love in my life, the more love I give the
more I, in turn receive, and there is an endless supply.
* I make new uplifting friends wherever I go and know that I am
never alone. As I reach out to others they reach out to me.
* 6egativity is only a thought and a thought can be changed. I choose
to replace all negative thoughts with positive healthy thoughts that
nourish me on all levels .
* What I need comes to me in the perfect time and way as I stop
trying to control things and just go with the flow of life.
* I am loving, creative and intelligent. Choosing to see and accept
myself this way allows me to make positive changes in my life.
* I choose love, joy and freedom, open my heart and allow wonderful
things to flow into my life. 3
 REJOICI6G I6 O6E'S OW6 GOOD DEEDS
If this day or in the past I have done good to other beings
with body, speech or mind , whether greatly or only little
for
the happiness of others through desire for the training or
respect for the Triple Gem,
here before the Buddha I call to mind
those deeds and let my heart rejoice.

I rejoice in my own good deeds , resolving not to compare

myself with others or speak of what I have done.

I rejoice in my own good deeds and gladly share my joy

with
all beings everywhere.

I rejoice in my own good deeds allowing this joy to further

purify my heart.

I rejoice in my own good deed hoping they will awaken in

others the desire to practise the Dhamma.

May my good deeds relieve the burdens of other beings.

May my good deeds shield me from all evil and pain.

May my good deeds and the merit that comes from them
4
help in the freeing of the heart.
ASKI6G FOR FORGlVE6ESS

If in the past I have done wrong to other beings

with body, speech or mind, whether greatly or only
little, whether through malice or lack of tact, here
before
the Buddha I acknowledge my transgressions and ask to
be forgiven.

I ask to be forgiven, not wishing to conceal my faults or

make excuses for them.

I ask to be forgiven knowing how I have complained

when others do me wrong.

I ask to be forgiven hoping my bad example will not

lead
others into wrong.

I ask to be forgiven, feeling truly sorry and promising

to make amends.

I ask to be forgiven, resolving to practise restraint in

the future.

May all beings be free from vengeance.

May all beings be forgiven for their faults.

5
May my faults always be small and easily overcome.
 PEACE
I sit now before the Buddha and contemplate that by seeing
the aggregates as empty, He attained great peace.
It is His unmoving stillness and sorrowless compassion that
shall be my inspiration.
Those who are angry at injustice, impatient for change,
despairing at tragedy, elated today and depressed tomorrow
are soon exhausted.
But those whose minds are always still and so abide in peace
are abundant in energy.

They like the Buddha, are islands of peace in a sea of turmoil

and a refuge to all beings.

Therefore I will seek peace and quiet avoiding always the

loud , the noisy and those who wish to argue.

I will strive to restore harmony to those who are at odds.

I will speak without abuse or harshness , gentle always with

words sweet and true.

I will strive to be conciliatory and yielding , never being the

source of conflict for others.

May all who live in turmoil find the peace they long for.

May my heart be free from the agitation of the defilements.

May my abiding in peace help in the freeing of the heart.

6
 GE6EROSITY
Have I this day begrudged sharing the great abundance I
enjoy , engrossed in what is mine without a thought for
others?
Have I enjoyed the abundance, thinking ‘This is mine
alone’ ? Or have I delighted in giving without meanness or
greed ?
Here before the Buddha, I resolve always to give and share.

I will give but never what is harmful even when asked.

I will give not just to those I like but to strangers and even
to the hostile.

I will give, being mindful of the needs of others without

waiting to be asked.

I will give humbly without desire for recognition.

I will give and I will also let others give to me.

I will give, not letting second thoughts taint my generosity.

I will give knowing that generosity helps develop
renunciation.

May my generosity transform the mean and pacify the

hostile.
May my generosity befriend the newcomer and comfort the
unhappy.
May my generosity dissolve all greed and clinging and help
in the freeing of the heart.
7
 COU6TI6G O6E’S OW6 BLESSI6GS
Infinite in number and variety are the states of existence
that beings are born into. I have been born as a human
being.

Countless are those who cannot speak or hear what is spoken

to them, who cannot see or read and who lack the power to
reason and ponder.
I have been born with all limbs and faculties complete.

Many are those who dwell in lands of strife and conflict and
who are deprived of security and safety.
I am living in a land that is at peace.
Incalculable are those forced to toil without end and who are
driven by hunger and want.
I have wealth to sustain the body and time to give it rest.
6umerous are those whose bodies and minds are in bonds,
who are not their own masters, unable to go where they
wish,
unable to think as they like. I enjoy great freedom.
Without number are those who live in regions where the
light of the Dhamma shines not or where its message is not
heard above the racket of false doctrines.
I have heard and understood the good Dhamma.
Truly precious is this human life and great are the blessings
I enjoy.
Here before The Buddha I contemplate on my good fortune
and resolve to use this rare opportunity to work for my own
good and the good of others.
With strong determination I will overcome all obstacles
both great and small. 8
 DEATH

I sit now before the Buddha and contemplate that He and

all who knew Him are now dead. Since His great demise
countless beings have come, bided their time and gone.

The names and deeds of but a few are remembered.

Their many pains, their joys, their victories and defeats
like themselves are now but shadows.

And so it will be with all whom I know.

Passing time will turn into mere shadows the calamities I
worry about, the possibilities I fear and the pleasures I
chase
after . Therefore I will contemplate the reality of my own
death that I may understand what is of true value in life.
Because death may soon come, I will repay all debts, forgive
all transgressions and be at odds with none.

Because death may soon come, I will squander no time

brooding on past mistakes but use each day as if it were my
last.
Because death may soon come I will purify my mind rather
than pamper the body.
Because death may soon come and I will be separated from
those I love, I will develop detached compassion rather than
possessiveness and clinging.
Because death may soon come, I will use each day fully, not
wasting it on fruitless pursuits and vain longings.

May I be prepared when death finally comes.

May I be fearless as life ebbs away.
May my detachment help in the freeing of the heart. 9
 FORGIVI6G OTHERS
If this day or in the past, others have done me wrong
through body, speech or mind, whether greatly or only
little,
whether with malice or lack of tact, here before the Buddha ,
I sincerely forgive them and let go of all my grudges.

I forgive, remembering how often I too have been at fault.

I forgive , realising how quick I am to take offence while

expecting my faults to be forgiven.

I forgive , knowing that to hold ill-will is to cause myself

greater harm than others can do to me.

I forgive, resolving not to speak about this wrong to any

other beings.

I forgive , knowing that desire for revenge only brings the

heart turmoil and agitation.

I forgive because this is the way love and detachment

blossom in the heart.

I forgive, knowing that like me, that person is still burning

with greed, hatred and delusion.

May my forgiving now help me to forgive again tomorrow.

May my forgiving encourage others to forgive me.
May my forgiving foster detachment and kindness and help
in the freeing of the heart.
10
1) How many letters are in the alphabet?

2) A man walks up to you and says - "Everything I say

to you is a lie."
Is he telling you the truth or is he lying?

3) What state is surrounded by the most water?

4) A farmer and his hired help were carrying grain to

the barn. The farmer carried one sack of grain and the
hired help carried two sacks. Who carried the heavier
load and why?

5) If you were running a race, and you passed the

person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

6) The strongest chains will not bind it

Ditch and rampart will not slow it down
A thousand soldiers cannot beat it
It can knock down trees with a single push.

7) The one who made it

Didn’t want it
The one who bought it
Didn’t need it
The one who used it
Never saw it

8) The word CA6DY can be spelled using just 2 letters. Can

you figure out how? 11
9) Buckets, barrels, baskets, cans;
What must you fill with empty hands?

10) Every creature in the world has seen it

But to their dying day they’ll never see
The same one again. What is it?

11) Look in my face

I am somebody
Look at my back
I am nobody.

12) We love it more than life

We fear it more than death
The wealthy want it
The poor have it in plenty.

13) What falls but never breaks?

What breaks but never falls?

14) What has no content yet you are still able to see it?

15) Dies half its life, lives the rest.

Dances without music, breathes without breath.
What is it?

16) You can find us in darkness but never in light.

We are present in daytime but absent at night.
In the deepest of shadows, We hide in plain sight.
What am I? 12
17) I never was, am always to be,
6o one ever saw me, nor ever will,
And yet I am the confidence of all,
To live and breathe on this terrestrial ball,

18) FOUR is HALF of FIVE.

Is this statement True or False?

19) I start and end two common English words. One painful
in love, one painful in everyday matters.
Do you know what two words I must be?

20) When is a yellow dog most likely to enter a house?

21) A man was born in 1955. He's alive and well today at age
33. How is this possible?

22) This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly

you can find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so
plain you would think nothing was wrong with it! In fact,
nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it,
and think about it, but you still may not find anything
odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out! Try to
do so without any coaching!

23) Sergi and Sally were sitting in their family room one
night. While Sergi was watching television his wife Sally
was reading. All of a sudden the power went out and
Sergi decided to go to bed, but Sally kept on reading.
With no use of artificial light, Sally kept on reading.
How? 13
24) Why can't Kevin Laroche, who is now living in Canada,
not be buried in the USA?

25) What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and
gray when you throw it away?

26) What has rivers but no water, cities but no buildings,

forests but no trees?

27) Why did the bubble gum cross the road?

28) Think fast: There's an electric train traveling south. The

wind is from the north-west. In which direction would the
smoke from the train be blowing?

29) Lucy had it first, Ethel had it last, Mary Lungel had it
twice until she maried Peter Stupid and never had it again.
What is it?

30) I soar without wings, I see without eyes.

I've traveled the universe to and fro.
I've conquered the world, yet I've never been anywhere but
home. Who am I?

31) I come in different shapes and sizes. Part of me are

curves, others are straight. You can put me anywhere you
like, but there is only one right place for me.
What am I?

32) What 5 letter word typed in all capital letters can be read
the same upside down? 14
 33) A pet shop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage
that said, "Parrot repeats everything it hears". Davey bought
the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a
word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he
never lied about the parrot. How can this be?

34) I can run constantly without ever getting tired.

When I run, I frustrate people and drive them crazy,
Yet I don't even have to move to irritate you.
What am I?

35) I have keys that open no locks,

I have space, but there is no room,
You can enter, but you can't go in.
What am I?

36) A bus driver was heading down a street in Colorado. He

went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left
where there was a "no left turn" sign, and he went the wrong
way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the
road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws.
Why not?

37) There are 2 ducks in front of 2 other ducks.

There are 2 ducks behind 2 other ducks.
There are 2 ducks beside 2 other ducks.
How many ducks are there?

38) Did you know that if you live within 5 miles of a cemetery
you can't be buried there?
Why? 15
 39) Late afternoons I often bathe.
I'll soak in water piping hot.
My essence goes through my see through clothes.
Used up am I; I've gone to pot.
What am I?

40) I have a hundred legs, But cannot stand.

I have a long neck, But no head.
I cannot see, and I'm neat and tidy, As can be.
What am I?

41) A man kills his wife. Many people watch him doing so.
Yet no one will ever be able to accuse him of murder. Why?

42) A man was digging and found a block of ice with two
people in it. Immediately, he knew it was Adam and Eve.
How did he know?

43) Until I am measured,

I am not known.
Yet how you miss me,
When I have flown. What am I?

44) I turn around once.

What is out will not get in.
I turn around again.
What is in will not get out.
What am I?

45) What do the dead eat, that the living would die if they ate
it? 16
46) You heard me before,
Yet you hear me again.
Then I die, 'Til you call me again
What am I?

47) Ten pears hanging high,

Ten men come passing by,
Each took a pear and left nine hanging there.
How could that be?

48) I'm so fast you can't see me,

Though everyone sees straight through me,
I don't stop until the day you die. What am I?

49) Almost everyone sees me without noticing me,

For what is beyond is what he or she seeks.
What am I?

50) I can be created by humans,

But they cannot control me.
I suck on wood, paper and flesh alike.
I can be more of a hindrance than help at times.
To my creators, I seem to be everywhere at once.
What am I?

51) You have three stoves: a gas stove, a wood stove, and a
coal stove, but only one match. Which should you light
first?

52) You live in a one story house made "entirely of

redwood". What color would the stairs be? 17
1 Recipe for trouble: Take a little of nothing, and then put
in some more nothing and stir up. Flavor with fear, a jigger
of grouch, a piece of lemon, and serve hot to those nearest.
2 It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires
great strength to decide on what to do.
3 All suffering is caused by an obstacle in the path of a
force. See that you are not your own obstacle.
4 Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still
likes you.
5 It’s what we think and what we do that makes us what we
are.
6 There are things that are right to say - but not to
everybody.
7 And remember this: Yesterday's successes belong to
yesterday, with all of yesterday's defeats and sorrows. The
day is Here. The time is 6ow.
8 When what you have done in the past looks large to you,
you haven't done much today.
9 Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to
practical use.
10 Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.
11 The best sermons are lived, not preached.
12 A school should not be a preparation for life. A school
should be life.
13 Some howl before they are hurt, others refuse to groan
even afterwards. 18
1. A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to
cash in on the experience.
2. Labor is the only prayer that is ever answered.
3. Men do not lack strength; they lack the will to concentrate
and act.
4. Abolish fear and you can accomplish whatever you wish.
5. If your religion does not change you, then you had better
change your religion.
6. The best preparation for tomorrow's work is to do your
work as well as you can today.
7. The man who lives in the present, forgetful of the past and
indifferent to the future, is the man of wisdom
8. Don't sit down in the meadow and wait for the cow to
back up and be milked - go after the cow!
9. The man that can smile at his defeat has won.
10. The man who can't make mistakes, can't make anything.
11. Success is the ability to go from one failure to another
with no loss of enthusiasm.
12 "Although beauty may be skin deep, many have drowned
there."
13 "We cannot change the inevitable, but inevitably there
will be change.
14 Love is in the palm of the hand; you just have to unclench
the fist.
15 If you spend all your time second-guessing tomorrow ...
you will not have time for today."
16 Up till now I have paid little attention to a lot of things,
but now I pay a lot of attention to little things. 19
1 Blaming the wolf would not help the sheep much. The
sheep must learn not to fall into the clutches of the wolf.
2 Mere brave speech without action is letting off useless
steam.
3 Your character must be above suspicion and you must be
truthful and self-controlled.
4 Men of stainless character and self-purification will easily
inspire confidence and automatically purity the atmosphere
around them.
5 In the times to come the people will not judge us by the
creed we profess or the label we wear or the slogans we shout
but by our work, industry, sacrifice, honesty and purity of
character.
6 6on-co-operation with evil is as much a duty as co-
operation with good.
7 Forgiveness is the quality of the brave, not of the cowardly.
8 “Judge not lest ye be judged" is a golden rule.
9 It is health which is real wealth, not pieces of silver and
gold.
10 True knowledge gives a moral standing and moral
strength.
11 Persistent questioning and healthy inquisitiveness are the
first requisite for acquiring learning of any kind.
12 Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but
how much love we put in that action.
13 Promises are like babies. Easy to make, hard to deliver
14 Don't wait for people to be friendly, show them how.
15 It's how you deal with failure that determines how you
achieve success.
16 Time and health are two precious assets that we don't
recognize and appreciate until they have been depleted.
17 There is no sin except stupidity.
18 6o act of kindness is ever wasted. 20
* Dinner at Grandma’s house
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at
his Grandmother's house.
Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being
served, and when little Johnny received his plate, he started
eating right away.
"Johnny, wait until we pray," his mother reminded him.
"I don't have to," the little boy replied.
"Of course you do," his mother insisted, "we always pray
before eating at our house."
"That's at our house," Johnny explained, "but this is
Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!"

# Reflecting  Are more and more children becoming

ill-mannered because of poor parenting?

* Rude Or Cheeky?
The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in
months." Then she asked the class, "How should I correct
this sentence?"

Little Johnny raised his hand and replied, "Get yourself a

new boyfriend."

# Reflecting One has to be very careful and mindful

of the words we utter for the words may hurt another
person’s feelings. 21
 * Way To Heaven …
A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good"
and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where
do you want to go?"
"Heaven! Heaven!" Yelled Little Lisa..
"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest.
”You’ve got to be dead!” Little Johnny shouted.
# Reflecting  Remember that oftentimes there may
be more than one answer to a question or problems 
and they can be all quite logical.

* An Essay …
A teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an
unusual event that happened during the past week.
Little Ah Gong got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell
into a well last week."
"Good Lord!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?"
"He must be," said Little Ah Gong. "He stopped calling for
help yesterday."
# Reflecting It’s shocking but even some adults, like
ignorant foolish children can show ridiculous lines of
reasoning.

* The Telegram
A husband, on a business trip to a hill station sends a
telegram to his wife: 'I wish u were here.' The message
received by wife: 'I wish u were her.'
# Reflecting … A mistake arising from a lack of
mindfulness can bring about disastrous
consequences. 22
* A New Look
A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the
hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death
experience. During that experience she sees her guardian angel
and asks if this is her time. The angel says no and explains that
she has another 30-40 years to live.
Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital for a
few more days and have a facelift, liposuction and a tummy tuck.
She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She
figures since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well
make the most of it. She walks out the hospital after the last
operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the
hospital.
She arrives in heaven again, sees her guardian angel and says, "I
thought you said I had another 30-40 years!!"
The angel replies, "Sorry. I didn't recognize you."
# Reflecting … When one cannot accept the process of ageing
and the natural accompanying changes one may resort to all
sorts of foolish ways to maintain the young look … and this
can lead to grave consequences.

* Blind Love
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a
fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
# Reflecting … A marriage based merely on ‘blind love’
without mature consideration, may be heading for doom.

* Three FASTEST means of Communication :

1. Tele-Phone 2. Tele-Vision 3. Tell to A Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE! 23
* Dream
A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced
enthusiastically to her husband, "I just dreamed that you
gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day! What do you
think it means?"
With certainty in his voice, the man said, "You'll know
tonight."
That evening the man came home with a small package and
handed it to his wife. With anxious anticipation the woman
quickly opened the package to find a book entitled - " The
meaning of Dreams".
Reflecting…What turns out in reality sometimes is not what
one expects.

* The College Graduate

A young man hired by a supermarket
reported for his first day of work.
The manager greeted him with a
warm handshake and a smile, gave
him a broom, and said, “Your first
job will be to sweep out the store.”
“But I’m a college graduate,” the
young man replied indignantly.
“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t realize
that,” the manager said. “Here, give
me the broom – I’ll show you how.”
Reflecting… * One should never regard certain menial tasks as
‘lowly’ even if one has high academic qualifications.
* When one's ego grows big, one will face with negative
consequences, for example, unemployment, relationship with
others and a greater feeling of frustration more and more
often. 24
* The Patients
A psychiatrist entered a room with 2 patients. He saw the
first patient sitting on the floor pretending to saw a piece of
wood into two halves. The second patient was hanging from
the ceiling by his feet. The doctor asked the first patient what
he was doing. The patient replied, “Can’t you see I’m sawing
this piece of wood into halves?”
“What is your friend doing up there in the ceiling?” the
doctor asked.
“My friend is crazy,” the first patient told the doctor. “He
thinks he’s an electric bulb.”
The doctor, noticing the man hanging down the ceiling
getting red in the face, asked the first patient, “ Why don’t
you get your friend down from the ceiling before he hurts
himself?”
“6o way,” the first patient said. “If he comes down, I have to
work in the dark!”
Reflecting …
* A man may notice the craziness of another but he is
not aware of his own craziness.
* Others' faults are easy to see but as for one's own
faults, oftentimes one is blind to them.

* A FOOLISH man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a

WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL
when her LIPS are CLOSED.
* A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best Wine
and Best Woman.
6ext moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next
to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC 25
* Dead Drunk
Two men, one in his fifties, the other in his twenties were
sitting in the bar. The older man , after a few rounds of
drinks, started shouting and insulting the younger man,
“Do you know that your mother is a loose woman, one
without morals … I slept with your mother a number of
times!”
Everyone in the bar looked at the two men. The older man
once more was yelling at the younger man,
“I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The younger man patted the old man at the back and said
loudly, “It’s time to go home, dad… you’re dead drunk!”
Reflecting …The speech and actions of an intoxicated man can
be most vulgar and unbecoming.
Let us strive to keep our mind always clear, heedful and
mindful.

*Wife’s Birthday
A wife told her husband that it was not necessary for him to
remember her birthday which fell on the following week.
Actually, deep down inside her she really meant :
"You’d better do or else …"
The husband knowing his wife too well, said,
“Oh, I do remember, darling.
What would you like to have for your birthday present?”
“Oh, I haven’t thought of it yet,” the wife said.
“I think anything with diamonds would be fine.”
For his wife’s birthday present, the husband gave her a pack
of playing cards.
Reflecting …* Beware! A sly and cunning person can respond
to another's request in devious ways ... ways that con you. 26
* My Room
A frustrated Japanese father
was talking to his friend. He
lamented, “When I was a kid, I
was disciplined by being sent
to my room and confined there
without supper or any
entertainment. But in my son’s
room, he has his own colour
TV, telephone, computer, air-
conditioning and hi-fi set. There is also a refrigerator so well
stocked and a microwave oven.”
“So what do you do to discipline him?” asked his friend.
“I send him to MY room!” the father said.
Reflecting…
Many modern kids lead such a luxurious life and they take
things for granted. Do they realize how much their parents
have sacrificed?
* Extracting a Tooth
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go
to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want any
anaesthesia because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said.
"Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on
our way."
The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a
courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?"
The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him
your tooth, dear."
Reflecting…Someone said: The wife is the MAJOR while the
husband is the GE9ERAL at home. This is because the
husband makes general decisions while the wife major ones!
27
* Irrational Jealousy
Husband: Darling, I’ve turned
over a new leaf. See …no more
strands of ladies’ hair on my
shirt. I don’t fool around with
women anymore.
Wife: Some of my friends said
that they have seen you visiting
temples. 6o ladies’ hair on
your shirt? You are now
fooling around with nuns!
Reflecting … * The jealousy of a wife can be most irrational.
This can lead to marital problems.
* Trust is an important element in a good marital relationship.
• Love Life Jokes
"What do use for washing dishes?"
"Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best."

Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"

Wife: "I couldn't lift the table."

"Has there been any insanity in your family?"

"Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."

"Why don't you give your husband a divorce?"

"What, I have lived with him for ten years and now I should
make him happy?" 28
* Toilet Paper
There were three bald-headed middle-aged men, Choon,
Gong and Ho.
They were staying in a hotel by the sea. One day the three of
them were taking a stroll along the beach. Suddenly a seagull
swooped down low and deposited its droppings on the bald
head of Gong. Ho, being a simple good-hearted person
started to run back to the hotel saying, “Don’t worry. I will
soon be back with some toilet paper.”
Pointing at Ho running to the hotel, Choon remarked to
Gong, “This Ho is really stupid. By the time he comes back
with the toilet paper, the seagull would have flown so far
away!”
Reflecting … A person who lacks clear thinking and has
muddled-up views over matters can say or do foolish things.
* When I Die
Mrs. Johnson decided to have her own portrait painted by a well-
known artist.
She told the artist, "Paint me with three-carat diamond earrings, a
large diamond necklace, glimmering emerald bracelets, and a
beautiful, red ruby pendant."
"But ma'am, you are not wearing any of those things."
"I know," said Mrs. Johnson. "My health is not good and my
husband is having an affair with his secretary. When I die he will
marry her, and I want the bitch to go nuts looking for the jewelry."
Reflecting… An angry or furious person thinks of revenge. Will this
solve the problem? 29
The Obituary
A miserly old woman walked into
the local newspaper office to have
an obituary written for her husband who died a couple of
days ago. The person in charge at the office told her that the
fee for the obituary was one dollar per word. The woman
thought for a while and then said, “Let it just read ‘Fred
Anson died.’
Amused at the woman’s ‘thrift’, the man at the office told
her, “I’m sorry ma’am. There is a 7-word minimum for all
obituaries put in our newspaper.”
The woman was getting annoyed. She pondered for a few
seconds and then said, “In that case write , ‘Fred Anson died.
Good 1982 pick-up for sale.’ ”
Reflecting…
A miser’s behaviour and actions can be most unbecoming …
small wonder why he or she cannot relate well to others.
* Honesty
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked
the priest beside her, " Father, may I ask a favor?"
" Of course. What may I do for you?"
" Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well
over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there
any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your
robes perhaps ?"
" I would love to help you, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
Reflecting …One who sticks to honest principles is
praiseworthy. 30
"Spiritual Power"
A woman went to the local psychic in the hope of contacting
her dearly departed grandmother through a seance.
The psychic's eyelids began fluttering and she began
moaning. Eventually, a voice came, saying, "Granddaughter?
Are you there?"
The granddaughter, wide-eyed responded, "Grandma? Is
that you?" "Yes granddaughter, it's me."
"It's really you, Grandma?" the woman repeated.
"Yes, it's really me, granddaughter."
The woman paused for a moment and said to the psychic,
"Grandma, I have just one question for you."
"Anything, my child."
"When did you learn to speak English?"
Reflecting … * Beware! Don't dabble with the occult. There are
many con-men out there who claim to have spiritual powers and
the ability to communicate with the dead. Oftentimes, such
people resort to fraud to gain money and material things from
gullible clients
* A Mexican Love Story
Maria was a beautiful Latina who fell in love with Jose.
She planned to marry very soon. She was so happy about
her wedding plans; she decided to tell her papa.
Papa told her, "Maria, you'll have to find another.
Your Mother does not know this, but Jose is your half-brother".
So Maria forgot about her Jose, and soon planned to marry
Ricardo. But after telling papa again, he said, "Maria there's
trouble still". "You can not marry Ricardo, Maria. Please don't tell
your mother, but Ricardo and Jose are both your half-brothers".
Maria had no choice but to go to her mama, but she already
knew and Said "Maria, do what makes you happy. Marry
Ricardo or marry Jose, because you are not related to Papa."
31
* Smart Dog
Two women who owned dogs
were bragging about their pets
and arguing as to whose dog was smarter.
First woman : My dog is so smart - every morning, he waits
for the newspaper boy to come around and then he takes
the
6ewspaper and brings it to me.
Second woman : I know this.
First woman : How do you know?
Second woman : My dog told me.
Reflecting : Just when you think you are superior, something
comes along to deflate your ego. It does not pay to brag or
boast.
To establish a good relationship with others, we need to
practice Right Speech.
* The Famous Author
The famous author attended a party in her honour
after her successful book made it to the bestsellers list.
A jealous film actress struck up a conversation with the
author. “I enjoyed your book very much. Who wrote it for
you?” she asked sarcastically.
“Oh, I’m so glad you liked my book,” the author replied.
“May I ask who read the book to you?”
Reflection
When we utter sarcastic words out of jealousy, we may get a
‘dose of our own bitter medicine.’
Humorous Marriage Quotes
* My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman
* My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney
Dangerfield
* I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
32
 Lessons From
Humor Pics 1

* How much suffering will Man

experience if Animals hunt Man
instead of Man being the hunter
and Animals the prey?
* Do not do unto others what you
do not want it done upon you.

* Many have become victims of ‘Mobile Phone Addiction’

Beware of the dangers of abusing the Mobile Phone.

* How many accidents have happened through a lack of

Mindfulness due to using the Mobile Phone at improper
places and inappropriate times.

* Beware of the dangers of ‘radiation’ through excessive use

of the Mobile Phone in empty talk, games and downloading.

33
 Lessons From
Humor Pics 2
* Accidents happen
when we do not give
wise attention to
matters of importance.

* How many drivers realize that using the cell phone

while driving can cause a loss of concentration on the
road $ accidents happen consequently.

“ Stupidity and heedlessness lead to suffering “

* One needs to be very mindful of one’s speech because

Wrong Speech can strain relationship with others.
* The world around us is
fraught with all sorts of
dangers and traps.

* One needs to be alert and

to practice mindfulness to
steer clear of precarious
situations. 34
 Lessons From
Humor Pics 3
* It’s unbelievable but
true that man is
capable of cruel and
heinous actions.

* One who intentionally kills or inflicts pain or suffering

upon others will face grave karmic consequences.
* May we practice loving-kindness and compassion.

* 6egative traits of character and negative mental states are

common among many and they are a liability to others.
* Let us strive to be alert, attentive, enthusiastic, energetic
and committed to a worthy cause.

* Beware of the dangers of

Internet addiction.
* An Internet Addict can shirk
his duties and responsibilities and
he neglects his hygiene and health.
* Internet Addiction can lead to
to serious problems of
relationship within a family and
with others .
35
 Lessons From
Humor Pics 4

* One needs to be alert

and be wary of some
people who may have ill
intentions intentions in their mind.
* Outward behavior or sweet talk can be misleading …
many have been conned due to their heedlessness, naïve state
and sheer greed and stupidity.

* How much time

and energy have
been wasted on
unnecessary
meetings that are
unproductive?
* Oftentimes, what
what is more
important is
dedication, sense
of commitment,
mindfulness and
wisdom … these
will lead to much
beneficial action and good productivity.
* Beware! Pride, ego, cruelty or
lack of care can lead to
unpleasant consequences.
* Things in life cannot always go
about smoothly …suffering and
pain are inevitable.
* Pain and suffering can be
lessened through mindfulness,
compassion and wise actions.
36
 Lessons From
Humor Pics 5
* To be born a human
is undoubtedly
more fortunate
compared to the animal
world.

* If we were animals, we
would want to be treated well by people.
* Let us practice kindness and compassion to all.
To be fired … * How many
workers and
employees are
truly responsible,
diligent and
committed in a
world that is so
materialistic?
* Let us strive to
be more honest,
dedicated and
hardworking in
serving others.

* Life is truly uncertain.

‘Prince Death’ is always just
around the corner he can
come most unexpectedly.
* Let us strive to lead a life
that is worthy … a life of
righteousness, heedfulness
and compassion.
37
 Lessons From
Humor Pics 6
• Many, oftentimes are
unaware of the very
precarious situations
they are in. They lead a
life as if they would not die $ a life of excessive
sensual pursuits, a life that causes so much pain and
suffering to other people.
* The wise, knowing and realizing the uncertainties of
life lead a life reaching out to others and purifying the
mind.

* Poor memory has a

bearing with a lack of
mindfulness. This
weak mindfulness can
lead to lots of problems
when relating
to others.
* One needs to train
the mind to be more
alert, heedful and
mindful. The powers
of mindfulness are
really great. Be mindful!

* Is the present lifestyle of

materialism, ‘rat race’ and kiasu
a time bomb leading to more
psychological disorders, mental
illnesses and suicide?
* The wise realizes that our
mundane living has to be
balanced with spiritual practice.
38
 Lessons From
Humor Pics 7

* It’s an irony that so-

called modern progress with its called progress and great
Modern Restless
Kid technological advances
have not brought about

greater happiness, joy and peace to the human mind.

On the contrary there is a rise in mental problems,
aggression, violence and conflicts.
* True peace and happiness lies within the mind – we
need to train, develop and purify the mind.

Caption :
“What’re you complaining
about? At least you don’t
lead a dog’s life!”

* When will we ever learn

to count our blessings?
* There are many people
out in the harsh world who
are in a terrible suffering state – war, natural disasters,
sicknesses, poverty, mental problems …
* Be thankful for what we have and learn to care and share.

* A blind man might be excused

for some actions that hurt others.
* Unfortunately today, there are
many who have eyes but see not –
like ‘zombies’, they don’t read
notices, park ridiculously, get
into accidents and trouble …
* Let us be more mindful and
Blind man urinating learn to really see …
39
 Lessons From
Humor Pics 8

*Is it wise to do things

that put our lives in
great danger?
Think before you act.
* Pranks or tricks may seem amusing but they
can be really stupid and put other people’s
lives into great danger.
Can she
Caption: “I’d like to learn change?
how to be less critical. My
mouth has been classified as a
weapon of mass destruction.”

* The following constitute

Wrong Speech :
a) Lying or False Speech
b) Harsh Speech
c) Slander
d) Gossip or Frivolous Speech.
* Wrong Speech can cause much harm and suffering to
other people.
* ‘Others’ faults are easily seen but one’s own faults one
hides like a fowler in disguise.

* Smiles are most wonderful

and they have many benefits.
* Smiles, other than being very
healthy, help foster good human
relationship.
* Smiles, humor and laughter
are very good natural
‘medicine’.
40
 Lessons From
Humor Pics 9

* One who has a very

low esteem of himself
can face psychological
problems.
* One’s attitude and
confidence is of great
importance.
* Before one can radiate Metta or Loving-Kindness to
others, one must have self-acceptance and be able to
love oneself .

* Caption: ‘You just spent

45 minutes explaining why
you’re too busy to do
something that would have
taken merely 2 minutes.
* Beware! Our tricky mind
can conjure up all sorts of irrational excuses to
protect our Ego.
* We should do more and talk less.

* 6ot only can monkeys be

up to their tricks and
become a nuisance, many
kids today do behave like
monkeys … they are
restless and cannot sit still.
* Kids need to be trained and
disciplined from a very young and
tender age … failure to do
this can produce young
ones who are restless,
impatient, unruly and aggressive.
41
 Lessons From
Humor Pics 10

* Many cannot bear to

face with failure. This
can be traced to the
mental defilements of
ego and delusion.
* There cannot be success without failure .
* A wise person learns from failure $ he accepts the
ups and downs of life with calmness and equanimity.

* What has become of the

world today? We seem to
encounter more greed,
selfishness, callousness,
cruelty and indifference to
other people’s suffering.

* When will we cultivate our

hearts and minds to show
more love and compassion for
our fellow human beings? The Watch

* Man is by Nature curious

$ we try to figure out
things we don’t
understand.

* Having an inquiring mind

is good $ we will learn.

To understand the * We should not react in

‘Japanese’, tilt your head anger when others make
to the right. ‘make fun of us.’
42
 . Relieve Life's Burdens

• Accept that some days you're the pigeon,

and some days you're the statue.

• Always keep your words soft and sweet,

just in case you have to eat them.

• Nobody cares if you can't dance well.

Just get up and dance.

• Don't cry because it's over.

Smile because it happened.

• A truly happy person

is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

• We could learn a lot from crayons.

Some are sharp,
some are pretty and some are dull.
Some have weird names,
and all are different colors,
but they all have to live in the same box.

• Happiness comes through doors

you didn't even know you left open.

~Author Unknown~

43
 Five Finger Prayer
1. Your thumb is nearest you. So, begin your prayers by
praying for or sending Metta those closest to you.

2. The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who
teach, instruct and heal. They need support and wisdom in
pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your
prayers.

3. The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our

leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and
industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation
and guide public opinion.

4. The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is

the fact that this is our weakest finger; as any piano teacher
will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are
weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and
night. You cannot pray too much for them.

5. And lastly comes our little finger; the smallest finger of all
which is where we should place ourselves in relation to the
Divine and others. Your pinkie should remind you to pray
for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four
groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective
and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.

~Author Unknown~

44
Today's To-Do List
Smile at a stranger.
Listen to someone's heart.
Drop a coin where a child
can find it.
Learn something new, then
teach it to someone.

Tell someone you're thinking

of him or her.
Don't hold a grudge.
Don't be afraid to say, "I'm sorry."
Look at child in the eyes and tell
them how great they are.
Look beyond the face of a person
and into his or her heart.
Make a promise and keep it.
Call someone, for no other reason
than just to say "hi."

Show kindness to an animal.

Stand up for what you believe in.
Smell the rains, feel the breeze,
listen to the wind.
Use all your senses to their fullest.

Cherish all your Today’s.

~Author Unknown~
45
Formula for Success

A small truth to make our Life 100% successful..........

If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is equal to 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26

Then H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =

98%

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96%

L+O+V+E=12+15+22+5=54%

L+U+C+K = 12+21+3+11 = 47%

(None of them makes 100%)
...............................
Then what makes 100%
Is it Money? ..... No!!!!!
Leadership? ...... NO!!!!

Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our

"ATTITUDE".
It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes
OUR Life 100% Successful..
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
Does that make sense? 46
* Everybody Knows…
You can't be all things to all people.
You can't do all things at once.
You can't do all things equally well.
You can't do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.
So…
You have to find out who you are, and be that.
You have to decide what comes first, and do that.
You have to learn not to compete with others,
Because no one else is in the contest of being YOU.
And then…
You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities
and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself
the respect that is due.
And you'll be the most unique
and happy human being.

* 12 Ways to Jumpstart Your Life

1 Take a break. 2 Create a personal mantra. 3 Set one

goal for this year. 4 Identify the essentials.
5 Eliminate the rest.
6 Start small. 7 Make a commitment. 8 Find inspiration.
9 Try exercise. 10 Think positive. 11 Do it now.
12 Make time for yourself.
47
* QUALITY OF LIFE
• It is not what you have, but what you enjoy that
constitutes your abundance.
• Your real riches are riches in your head and heart.
• Real satisfaction comes from appreciating what you
have.
• Wealth without enjoyment is little consolation.
• There are two ways of being happy: you must either
diminish your wants or augment your means.
• It is always better to appreciate things you cannot
have than to have the things you cannot appreciate.
• Your riches will always lie inside you, not in your
material possessions.
* TRY, TRY AGAI6
• The most important quality essential to your success
is perseverance.
• It overcomes almost everything, even nature.
• Effort only fully releases its reward after you refuse to
quit.
• Austere perseverance, harsh and continuous rarely
fails of its purpose, for its silent power grows
irresistibly with time.
• It's your constant and determined effort that breaks
down all resistance, and sweeps away all obstacles.
• Success is connected with action.
• It is largely a matter of hanging on after others have
given up.
• You can have the success if you never give up trying.
• The only people who fail are those that do not try.
• 6ever, never, never give up. 48
* ACCEPT CHA6GE WITH A SMILE.
Sooner or later you'll encounter an event in your life, and
how you meet it determines your future happiness and
success.
Since the beginning of time, everyone has been called upon to
meet such a crisis.
A closer look will show you that most "crisis situations" are
opportunities to either advance or stay where you are.
Indeed most changes in your life will take place out of either
"inspiration" or "desperation."
Whatever comes your way, give it meaning and transform it
into something of value.
Your personal growth is the process of responding positively
to change.
A precious stone cannot be polished without friction, nor
humanity perfected without trials.
* WORK ,6OT PU6ISHME6T BUT A REWARD.
If you enjoy what you do, you will be successful.
Your success in any occupation depends on your enjoyment.
Loving your work makes the difference.
You never achieve real success unless you like what you are
doing.
Your chances for success are directly proportional to the
degree of pleasure you derive from what you do.
If you have a job you hate, face the fact squarely and get out.
Success in its highest and noblest form calls for peace of
mind, enjoyment, and happiness which comes only when you
find the work that you like best.
You don't pay the price for success.
You enjoy the price for success.
Work is love made visible. 49
* SUCCESS IS RIGHT I9 FRO9T OF YOU.
• You can choose to be lazy or you can choose to be
successful.
• Stop to think about your choice again.
• You always do your own choosing.
• Your success is not a matter of chance; it is a matter
of your choice.
• It is not something you wait for, but rather something
you achieve with effort.
• Things don't turn up in this world until you turn them
up.
• When you realize what you really want, it stops you
from chasing rainbows and puts you to work digging
gold.
• Decide now that you really want to achieve your goals.
• Doors open when you're honest with yourself.
• If you want to really succeed in this world, look for
the circumstances you want, and, if you can't find
them, make them.
• Your opportunities for success are all around you.
• If you look hard enough, you will find them.
• The great opportunity in your life is where you are
right now.
• Every situation, properly perceived, can become an
opportunity for you.
• First say to yourself what you would be, then do what
you have to do.

50
* REACH OUT TO OTHERS
• You can get anything in life you want if you will just
help enough other people to get what they want.
• Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which
all advancement, all success, all achievement in real
life grows.
• Your success depends on the support of other people.
• The only hurdle between you and what you want to be
is the support of others.
• You cannot hold a torch to light another's path
without brightening your own.

* CO6QUER YOURSELF
• Your life at any time can become difficult.
• Your life at any time can become easy.
• It all depends upon how you adjust to life.
• It's never the situation, it's your reaction to the
situation.
• The way you react to circumstances determines your
feelings.
• Your quality of life is determined not by what life
brings to you, but by the attitude you have towards
life.
• What happens to you is less significant than what
happens within you.
• You cannot always control your circumstances, but
you can watch and be master of your own thoughts.
• It's not your position but your disposition that
matters. 51
EVERY WI66ER HAS SCARS.
Your life is a series of experiences, some good, some bad.
Each experience makes you bigger and stronger, even though
it is often hard for you to realize it.
Learn quickly that the setbacks and grief which you endure
actually help you in your march forward.
This world was built to develop your character.
Stay in the midst of activity and life.
Don't isolate yourself.
Be among people and things, among troubles, difficulties and
obstacles.
Your character develops itself in the stream of life.
Life is a classroom in which you are being tested, tried, and
passed.
You're expected to make measurable progress in reasonable
amounts of time.
That's why those third grade chairs are so small.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE E6OUGH TIME IF YOU USE IT

WISELY.
Time can't be managed.

But what can be managed are your activities and how you spend
your time.

Don't serve time, make time serve you.

Set priorities for your goals.

Put first things first. 52

 PROVERBS
FOR
REFLECTION 1
* Actions speak louder than words
It is what we do that matters and not just what we say.

* As you sow, so shall you reap

One's actions whether good or bad determine one's rewards or
punishments.

* After a storm comes a calm

Something better may follow after an unfortunate incident.

* The best of friends must part

!othing can go on forever as all things change.

* It is useless to flog a dead horse

It is a waste of time to argue about something done and long-
forgotten.

* It is never too late to mend

It is always possible to improve one's conduct, no matter how
long one has led a morally bad life.

* Every cloud has a silver lining

There is hope even in difficult situations.

* Every dog has his day

Life has its ups and downs. We have our favorable times.

* All that glitters is not gold

What pleases the sight varies from one person to another. 53
 PROVERBS
FOR
REFLECTION 2
* Beggars cannot be choosers
One must accept what is available in difficult circumstances.

* The best fish swim near the bottom

The best things are hard to get. One needs to put in much effort.

* Don't ride the high horse

One should not be arrogant.

* Easy come, easy go

What is acquired without effort especially money is likely to be
lost .

* Be in general virtuous, and you will be happy

Happiness will follow the morally good person.

* If you desire many things, many things will seem

but a few
Wanting many things will make a person discontented.

* Wishes won't wash dishes

Merely dreaming or wishing without action will not achieve
anything.

* Here today, gone tomorrow

All things will pass. !othing really remains permanent.

* Don't cry over spilt milk

What is done is past and gone. It is useless to regret over it. 54
 PROVERBS
FOR
REFLECTION 3
* Better safe than sorry
It is preferable to be cautious than be rash and get into trouble.

* Don't judge a book by its cover.

A person’s inner qualities cannot be known just by appearances.

* Practice what you preach.

We must show that we also act according to what we tell others to
do. We must lead by example .

* Take the bitter with the sweet.

We must learn to accept both the good and adverse things that
come upon us. Happiness and pain, gain and loss are inevitable.

* A single arrow is easily broken, but not ten in a

bundle.
When we work together as a team or group of many, we have
greater strength and may not be so easily defeated.

* Ten men, ten minds

It is a fact that people differ in their character, attitude and views

* When you're thirsty it's too late to think about

digging a well.
When we are already in deep trouble, it’s very difficult to start
planning and thinking of a solution to the problem.

* One kind word can warm three winter months.

The powers of love and kindness in one’s speech are tremendous.
55
 PROVERBS
FOR
REFLECTION 4
* Everyone makes mistakes. That's why there is an
eraser on every pencil
To err is human. Mistakes can be forgiven …we learn from them.

* If you wait, there will come nectar - like fair

weather
Patience is very important. When one is patient, good things will
come by eventually.

* Wisdom and virtue are like the two wheels of a cart

To be able to progress in this world and spiritually, one needs to
practice good and develop wisdom at the same time.

* One who smiles rather than rages is always the

stronger
One who is calm, patient with a sense of humor is better at
facing negative situations compared to one who gets angry and
is impatient and aggressive.

* We are no more than candles burning in the wind

Life is really transient. At any point of time the life of a person is
uncertain …death can happen in so many ways. Learn to let go.

* Money grows on the tree of persistence.

Persistence is the single most important quality in a person in
order to succeed
* Beginning is easy - Continuing is hard.
It’s easy to start a project but to see it through till the end is tough.
56
 PROVERBS
PROVERBS
FOR
REFLECTION 5
* Grasp no more than thy hand will hold.
Do not be greedy. It can lead to your downfall.

* The tongue is but three inches long, yet it can kill a

man six feet high.
Do not underestimate the power of speech. Lies, slander, harsh
words and rumors can bring about chaos and deaths.

* You are never too old to learn.

Age should not be the excuse for one to learn something new.

* You never know what you can do until you try.

All have the potential to succeed and achieve. !ever give up

* Patience wears away stones.

With patience one can work wonders and even the toughest can
be won over.

* Don't cross your bridges before you get to them.

Do not worry unnecessarily about what is to come.

* You will never plough a field if you only turn it

over in your mind.
Mere mental planning without action leads one nowhere. It’s
action, action that counts.

* You must crack the nuts before you can eat the
kernel.
!o reward is possible if you do not put in great effort. 57
 PROVERBS
FOR
REFLECTION 6
* If everyone gives one thread, the poor man will
have a shirt
If every person were to do just a little act of charity, much of
suffering due to poverty will be relieved.

* The future is purchased by the present

Much of what the future will be depends on one’s actions of
body, mind and speech.

* A clear conscience is a good pillow

When one’s mind is free from any wrongdoing, there won’t be
trouble getting to sleep.

* Better to be seen alone than in bad company.

Do not associate with fools who will lead you to more and more
sorrow. Being alone is better than mixing with wrong people.

* Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is

worn out
Do not be one who makes promises and is fond of talking but
does not do actual work.

* A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle

Caring and sharing are vital in life. One’s joy doubles through
sharing with others and one’s sorrow is halved through sharing with
others.

* He that inquires much, learns much

Through asking or questioning when one has doubt, one will
grow in understanding and wisdom. 58
 PROVERBS
FOR
REFLECTION 7
* 6inety per cent of inspiration is perspiration.
Along with brilliance goes a lot of hard work.

* There's many a slip between the cup and the lip.

We cannot assume anything is ours until we actually get it.

* There is no rose without a thorn.

Unalloyed happiness is impossible, because joy and sorrow go
together.

* A fool says what he knows, and a wise man knows

what he says.
The foolish simply says things, some nonsensical. The wise
understands clearly the words he utters.

* Having two ears and one tongue, we should listen

twice as much as we speak.
It’s important to listen with good mindfulness … one then
remembers better. Speak only where necessary.

* Where there's a will there's a way

If we have the determination to do something, we can always
find the path or method to do it.

* Experience is the best teacher

Life teaches more effectively than books or school.

* Great oaks from little acorns grow

Great things or people often have humble origins. 59
 1. Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice all live in the same
house. Bob and Carol go out to a movie, and when they
return, Alice is lying dead on the floor in a puddle of water
and glass. It is obvious that Ted killed her but Ted is not
prosecuted or severely punished.
Give a logical explanation.

2.
SPIRAL

Can you see that the

concentric circles appear to
be spirals?

3. A man lives on the twelfth floor of an apartment

building.
Every morning he wakes up, gets dressed, eats, goes to the
elevator, takes it down to the lobby, and leaves the building
for work. In the evening, he goes through the lobby to the
elevator, and, if there is someone else in the elevator
(or if it was raining that day) he goes back to his floor
directly.
However, if there is nobody else in the elevator and it
hasn't rained, he goes to the 10th floor and walks up two
flights of stairs to his room.
Give an explanation. 60
 4 A woman has incontrovertible proof in court that her
husband was murdered by her sister. The judge declares,
"This is the strangest case I've ever seen. Though it's a cut-
and-dried case, this murderess cannot be punished."
Can you explain?

5 The white goblet appears to

be in front of the background
or the two black profiles
appear to be in front of the
white background.

6 A man is found hanging in a locked room with no

furniture and there is a puddle of water under his feet.
Explain.

7 A man is lying, dead, face down in the desert wearing a

backpack. Can you suggest an explanation?

8 A woman comes home with a bag of groceries, gets the mail,

and walks into the house. On the way to the kitchen, she goes
through the living room and looks at her husband, who had
blown his brains out.
She then continues to the kitchen, puts away the groceries, and
makes dinner.
Can you explain?

9. What do you see in the picture on

the right?
61
10. A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The
bartender pulls out a gun and points it at him. The man
says, "Thank you," and walks out. Explain.

11. A man is returning from Switzerland by train. If he had

been in a non-smoking car he would have died.
Explain.

12.
Can you see
the mother
with her
child, praying
somewhere in
this picture?

13. A man goes into a restaurant, orders abalone, eats one

bite, and kills himself. Explain.

14. Illusion
Look at the picture on the right.
The inset appears to move.

15. A man is driving his car. He turns

on the radio, listens for five minutes,
turns around, goes home, and shoots his
wife. Explain.

16. Two women are talking. One goes into the bathroom,
comes out five minutes later, and kills the other. Explain. 62
 17. The Fly and The Trains
Two trains are 200 km apart, and travelling towards each other at 50
km/hour each.
From one train a fly takes off, flying straight above the rails to the other
train at the speed of 75 km/hour, bounces off it and flies back to the first
train.
This is repeated till the trains crash together and the fly is smashed.
What distance is the fly able to fly until it meets its tragic end?

18. 4 equal pieces logic puzzle

Using only straight lines, cut the figure on the
right into 4 pieces all of the same size and
shape.

19. Can you connect 9 dots laid out 3x3 using 4 straight lines, without
lifting your pencil from the paper?

20. Use 17 toothpicks to construct the figure.

a. Remove 5 toothpicks and leave 3 squares.
b. Remove 6 toothpicks and leave 2 squares.

21. Using standard mathematical symbols, e.g. +, -, x,

etc., rearrange (4) fives to equal the numbers one to ten. For example,
5/5 + 5 - 5 = 1, 5/5 + 5/5 = 2, etc.

22. If Mario can eat 110 cakes in 10 minutes and Kev can eat 56 cakes in
8 minutes, how long will it take Mario and Kev to eat 954 cakes?

23. My brother will be x years old in the year x squared. In which year
was he born?

24. A man wants to transport a fox, a chicken and some corn across a
river. He has a rowboat, but it can only carry the man and one other
item. If the fox and the chicken are alone together, the fox will eat the
chicken. If the chicken and the corn are alone together, the chicken will
eat the corn. How does the man do it?
63
25) Caris, Tina and Stephen each won a prize at the Christmas
party. Caris gave her chocolate to Tina in exchange for her water
pistol. Caris then changed with Stephen for the book. Then Tina
and Stephen swapped prizes. Who has which present?

26) Using the BrainTracker grid shown,

how many words can you find? Each
word must contain the central W and no
letter can be used twice; however, the O T O
letters do not have to be connected.
Proper nouns are not allowed, but N W R
plurals are. There is at least one nine
letter word. Excellent: 35 words. S S M
Good: 25 words. Average: 18 words.

27) Below are some proverbs with their vowels removed:

*bs*nc* m*k*s th* h**rt gr*w f*nd*r.
Ch*ldr*n *nd f**ls m*st n*t pl*y w*th sh*rp kn*v*s.
D*g d**s n*t **t d*g.
M*d*r*t**n *n *ll th*ngs.
Y** c*n't k*d * k*dd*r.

28) After a local Post Office burglary, four suspects were being
interviewed. Below is a summary of their statements. Police know that
each of them told the truth in one of the statements and lied in the
other. From this information can you tell who committed the crime?
*Alan said: *Brian said: *Charles *Derek said:
It wasn't It wasn't said: It was
Derek Charles It was Alan Charles
It wasn't It was Derek It wasn't It wasn't Alan
Brian Derek

64
29) A body was discovered in a park in Chicago in the middle of
summer. It had a fractured skull and many other broken bones,
but the cause of death was hypothermia. Explain.

30) . A man driving his car turns on the radio. He then pulls
over to the side of the road and shoots himself. Explain.

31) Personality test : at first sight what do you

see in the picture shown?

32) A man is dead in a room with a small pile of pieces of wood

and sawdust in one corner. Explain.

33) . A man is riding a subway. He meets a one-armed man,

who pulls out a gun and shoots him. Explain.

34 ) A man kills his wife, then goes inside his house and kills
himself. Explain.

35) Find the Dalmation Dog in

the picture.

36) Two men, one big and burly

and the other short and thin,
enter a bar. They both order identical drinks.
The big one gulps his down and leaves;
the other sips his slowly, then dies. Explain.

37) A man is found dead in his parked car. Tire tracks lead up to
the car and away. Explain. 65
 38. Two men, starting at the same point, walk in opposite
directions for 4 meters, turn left and walk another 3 meters.
What is the distance between them? ( In meters )
A2 B6 C 10 D 12.5 E 14

39. David is half his father Duncan's age. In 10 years, David will
be three-fifths Duncan's age. Ten years ago, David was one-third
Duncan's age. How old are David and Duncan now?
A 20 and 40 B 18 and 36 C 16 and 32 D 22 and 44

40. Pear is to apple as potato is to?

A Banana B Radish C Strawberry D Peach E Lettuce

41. Peter likes Susan but not Shawna. He likes Nancy but not
Edith, and he likes William but not Charles. Following this same
logic, will he like Roger or Chris?

42. Can you read the message on

the picture to the right?

43. This teaser must be done

IN YOUR HEAD and NOT using paper and a pen. Try it!
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000.
Now add 30. And another 1000.
Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10.
What is the total?

44. Can you name four days which start with the letter "T"?

45. In which year did Christmas Day and New Year's Day fall in
the same year? 66
46. Find the pattern in the following sequence of numbers.
Which numbers are missing?
2 4 5 7 8 10 11 __ 14 __ __

47. Igor told his parents "When I grow up I want to shoot

people and blow them up." And yet his parents were happy
with his choice. How is this possible?

48. A red house is made out of red bricks. A blue house is

made of blue bricks. What is a green house made of?

49. Look at the 4 points of the figure

for about 30 seconds. Then look at a
white wall by blinking eyes and you
will see ‘an appearing Jesus !’

50. While walking across a bridge I saw a

boat full of people. Yet on the boat there
wasn't a single person. Why?

51. Here on earth it is always true, that a day follows a day. But there
is a place where yesterday always follows today! What am I ?

52. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?

Why?
53. Quickly count the number of ' F' in the following text :
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FI6ISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIE6TIF-
IC STUDY COMBI6ED WITH THE
EXPERIE6CE OF YEARS
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 67
* Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools,
because they have to say something.
Plato

* God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot

change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to
know the difference.
The Serenity Prayer (Reinhold 9iebuhr)

* Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak … sometimes

it means that you are strong enough to let go.
Unknown

* A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more

than an hour of praise after success.
Anonymous

* Always listen to your heart, ‘cause even though it's on

your left, it's always right.
Anonymous

* A wise person knows that there is something to be learned

from everyone.
Unknown

* The quieter you become, the more you can hear.

Unknown

* Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is

Enlightenment Lao Tzu 68
1. If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it!"-- Jonathan
Winters

2. "We all have ability. The difference is how we use it."--

Stevie Wonder

3. "6ever give up, for that is just the place and time that the
tide will turn."-- Harriet Beecher Stowe

4. "It is impossible to win the great prizes of life without

running risks."-- Theodore Roosevelt

5. "One can make a day of any size, and regulate the rising
and the setting of his own sun and the brightness of its
shining."-- John Muir

6. "The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be

continually fearing that you will make one."-- Ellen Hubbard

7. "Act as though what you do makes a difference. It does."--

William James

8. "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny

matters compared to what lies within."--Ralph Waldo
Emerson

9. "Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by

the individual who can labour in freedom."-- Albert Einstein

10. "Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent

inspiration."-- Thomas Edison 69
* "If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry,
I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If
you need to be happy, I'll be your smile... But anytime you
need a friend, I'll just be me."
Unknown

* "Reading furnishes the mind only with materials of

knowledge; it is thinking that makes what is read ours."
John Locke

* "Do more than exist, live.

Do more than touch, feel.
Do more than look, observe.
Do more than read, absorb.
Do more than hear, listen.
Do more than think, ponder.
Do more than talk, say something."
John H. Rhoads

* "Love starts at home: family first, and then your own

town. It is easy to love people who are far away, but it is not
always easy to love those who live right next to us. I do not
agree with the big way of doing things. Love needs to start
with an individual." Mother Teresa

*"6ever forget that the purpose for which a man lives is the
improvement of the man himself, so that he may go out of
this world having, in his great sphere or his small one, done
some little good for his fellow creatures and labored a little to
diminish the sins and sorrow that are in the world."
William Gladstone 70
* "Try not to be a success, but rather try to become a man
of value."
Albert Einstein

* "Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: What are

you doing for others?"
Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

* "Knowing is not enough; we must apply.

Willing is not enough; we must do."
Goethe

* "Do what you can

With what you have,
Where you are."
Theodore Roosevelt

* "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the
world walks out."
Unknown

* "The two most powerful warriors are patience and time."

Leo Tolstoy

* "Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by

another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to
those who have rekindled this light."
Albert Schweitzer
71
 Wise Quotes On FORGIVE6ESS

* The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of

the strong.
-Gandhi

* It takes a strong person to say sorry, and an ever stronger

person to forgive.
-Unknown

* When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you
sure do change the future.
-Unknown

* Forgive people because life is short, and you never know

when it can end...and nobody deserves to pay for their
mistakes for the rest of their life... -Unknown

* In the long run, it's not a question of whether they deserve

to be forgiven. You're not forgiving them for their sake.
You're doing it for yourself. For your own health and well
being, forgiveness is simply the most energy-efficient option.
It frees you from the incredibly toxic, debilitating drain of
holding a grudge. Don't let these people live rent free in your
head. If they hurt you before, why let them keep doing it year
after year in your mind? It's not worth it but it takes heart
effort to stop it. You can muster that heart power to forgive
them as a way of looking out for yourself. It's one thing you
can be totally selfish about.

–Unknown 72
Look–Learn–Act ...Anonymous
"To Look is one thing.
To See what you look at is another.
To Understand what you see is a third.
To Learn from what you understand is still something else.
But to Act on what you learn is all that really matters."

Wisdom Seeds . . . William Arthur Ward

"Wise is the person who profits from the mistakes of the
past, recognizes the opportunities of the present, and
anticipates the challenges of the future."
"Committing a great truth to memory is admirable;
committing it to life is wisdom."

Tao Te Ching . . . Lao Tse

"There is no greater sin than desire,
6o greater curse than discontent,
6o greater misfortune than wanting something for oneself.
Therefore, he who knows that enough is enough
will always have enough."

* Don’t mind criticism. If it is untrue, disregard it. If it is

unfair, keep from irritation. If it is ignorant, smile. If it is
justified, learn from it.
Anonymous

* A wise man is he who does not grieve for the things which
he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.
Epictetus
73
1. "All things come round to him who will but wait."
Author: Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

2. "Have patience and endure; this unhappiness will one day

be beneficial.”
Ovid

3. "Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet."

Author: Phaedrus

4. "Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is

concentrated strength."
Author: Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

5. "Patience and passage of time do more than strength and

fury."
Author: Jean de la Fontaine

6. "Our patience will achieve more than our force."

Author: Edmund Burke

7. "He that can have patience can have what he will."

Author: Benjamin Franklin

8. “Patience is necessary, and one cannot reap immediately

where one has sown.”
Author : Soren Kierkegaard

9. Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence,

and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
Author : Helen Keller 74
* Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness
never decreases by being shared.”

* “An idea that is developed and put into action is more

important than an idea that exists only as an idea.”

* “However many holy words you read, However

many you speak, What good will they do you If you do not
act on upon them?”

* “A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good

barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a
good talker.”

* “The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.”

* “Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind

speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things
which renew humanity.”

* “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to

mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate
troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and
earnestly

* “Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that

brings peace.”
75
* Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for
people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or
ill.

* Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own

unguarded thoughts.

* Develop the mind of equilibrium.

You will always be getting praise and blame,
but do not let either affect the poise of the mind:
follow the calmness, the absence of pride.

* Let your love flow outward through the universe,

To its height, its depth, its broad extent,
A limitless love, without hatred or enmity.
Then as you stand or walk,
Sit or lie down,
As long as you are awake,
Strive for this with a one-pointed mind;
Your life will bring heaven to earth.

* The virtuous man delights in this world, and he delights in

the next; he delights in both. He delights and rejoices, when
he sees the purity of his own work.

* Fools of little understanding have themselves for their

greatest enemies, for they do evil deeds which must bear
bitter fruits. 76
Do not pursue the past.
Do not lose yourself in the future.
The past no longer is.
The future has not yet come.
Looking deeply at life as it is.
In the very here and now, the practitioner dwells in stability
and freedom.
We must be diligent today.
To wait until tomorrow is too late.
Death comes unexpectedly.
How can we bargain with it?
The sage calls a person who knows how to dwell in
mindfulness night and day,
'one who knows the better way to live alone.'
Bhaddekaratta Sutta

* As long as the evil deed done does not bear fruit, the fool
thinks it is like honey; but when it ripens, then the fool
suffers grief.

* Bad deeds, and deeds hurtful to ourselves, are easy to do;

what is beneficial and good, that is very difficult to do.

* By oneself the evil is done, by oneself one suffers; by

oneself evil is left undone, by oneself one is purified. Purity
and impurity belong to oneself; no person can purify another
person.

* 6ot to blame, not to strike, to live restrained under the law,

to be moderate in eating, to sleep and sit alone, and to dwell
on the highest thoughts—this is the teaching of the
Awakened. 77
* 6ot in the sky, not in the midst of the sea, not if we enter
into the clefts of the mountains, is there known a spot in the
whole world where death could not overcome the man.

* If a man offend a harmless, pure, and innocent person, the

evil falls back upon that fool, like light dust thrown up
against the wind.

* As a solid rock is not shaken by the wind,

so the wise are not shaken by blame and praise.
As a deep lake is clear and calm,
so the wise become tranquil after they listened to the truth.

* Good people walk on regardless of what happens to them.

Good people do not babble on about their desires.
Whether touched by happiness or by sorrow,
the wise never appear elated or depressed.

* Whoever for one’s sake or for another’s,

does not wish for a son or wealth or power,
and if one does not wish for success by unfair means,
that one certainly is virtuous, wise, and holy.

* Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and

the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never
decreases by being shared.

* An idea that is developed and put into action is more

important than an idea that exists only as an idea. 78
* An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a
wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil
friend will wound your mind.”

* Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and
the truth.

* You will not be punished for your anger, you will be

punished by your anger.

* A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good

barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a
good talker.

* Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.

* However many holy words you read, however many you

speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon
them?”

* Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said

it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own
reason and your own common sense.
* Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
* Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said
it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own
reason and your own common sense.
* Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
* There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt.
Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates
friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn
that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills. 79
* Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind
speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things
which renew humanity.

* There are only two mistakes one can make along the road
to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.

* To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a

way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent.
To keep the body in good health is a duty...otherwise we
shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”

* All things appear and disappear because of the

concurrence of causes and conditions. 6othing ever exists
entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.

* All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is

transformed can wrong-doing remain?

* Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others.

He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.

* Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the

intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who
gets burned.

* Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue

appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure
and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of
human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance
of virtue.” 80
 Story With A
Message 1

Conformity Is a Trap

Once a spider built a beautiful web in an old barn. She kept

it clean and shiny so that flies would buzz a bit nearer. The
minute she got a visitor she would clean up on it so the other
flies would not get suspicious.

Then one day a fairly intelligent fly came buzzing by the

clean spider web. The spider called out, "Come in and sit."
But the fly said, "6o, ma’am. I don’t see other flies in your
house, and I am not going in alone!"

But presently the fly saw on the floor below a large crowd
of flies dancing around on a piece of brown paper. It was
delighted! It was not afraid if lots of flies were doing the
same. So the fly came in for a landing.

Just before it landed, a bee zoomed by, saying, "Don’t land

there, stupid, that’s flypaper!" But the fly shouted back,
"Don’t be silly, those flies are dancing. There’s a big crowd
there. That many flies can’t be wrong." Well, you know what
happened, the fly got stuck and died.

Isn’t it strange how some of us want to be with the crowd

so badly that we end up in a sticky mess. What does it profit
a fly (or a person) if it escapes the web only to end up stuck
in the glue? 81
 Story With A
Message 2
* The Claddagh Ring . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anonymous
Some years ago divers located a 400-year-old sunken ship
off the coast of Ireland. Among the treasures they found on
the ship was a man’s wedding ring. When it was cleaned up,
the divers noticed that the ring had an inscription on it.
Etched on the wide band were two hands holding a heart.
Under the etching were these words: "I have nothing more to
give you."
Of all the treasures found on that sunken ship, none
moved the divers more than that Claddagh ring and its
beautiful inscription.

* REMEMBER THE THREE BONES . . . . . . Source Unknown

An Irish father was seeing his son off on a steamship
where the lad was going to a new land with the intention of
seeking his fortune in a new way of life.
"6ow, Michael, my boy," said the father as they parted,
"remember the three bones, and you’ll always get along all
right."
A stranger standing nearby overheard the remark, and
when the ship was underway, he asked the old gentleman
what the three bones he referred to in his parting advice to
his son.
"Sure, now," responded the old Irishman, "and wouldn’t
it be the wishbone and the jawbone and the backbone? It’s
the wishbone that keeps you going after things, and it’s the
jawbone that helps you find out how to go after them if you
are not too proud to ask a question when there’s something
you don’t know, and it’s the backbone that keeps you at it
until you get there."
82
 Story With A
Message 3
* 'Conditional Love'
A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having
fought in Vietnam.
He called his parents from San Francisco. "Mom and Dad, I'm coming
home, but I've got a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring with me."
"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."
"There's something you should know," the son continued, "he was hurt
pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mined and lost an arm
and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with
us."
"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to
live."
"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."
"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with
such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives
to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think
you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to
live on his own."
At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more
from him.
A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco
police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told.
The police believed it was suicide.
The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city
morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their
horror they also discovered something they didn't know… their son had
only one arm and one leg.

* Sounds of Silence
Four monks decided to meditate silently without speaking for two
weeks. By nightfall on the first day, the candle began to flicker and
then went out. The first monk said, "Oh, no! The candle is out." The
second monk said, "Aren't we not supposed to talk?" The third monk
said, "Why must you two break the silence?" The fourth monk laughed
and said, "Ha! I'm the only one who didn't speak." 83
 Story With
A Message 4
* The Fence
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him
a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must
hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven six nails into the fence. Over the next
few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails
hammered daily gradually dwindled. He discovered it was easier to
hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told
his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out
one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father
that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led
him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at
the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say
things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife
in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say 'I'm
sorry', the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical
one."

* TRA6SIE6T
A famous spiritual teacher came to the front door of the King's palace.
None of the guards tried to stop him as he entered and made his way to
where the King himself was sitting on his throne.
"What do you want?" asked the King, immediately recognizing the
visitor.
"I would like a place to sleep in this inn," replied the teacher.
"But this is not an inn," said the King, "It is my palace."
"May I ask who owned this palace before you?"
"My father. He is dead."
"And who owned it before him?"
"My grandfather. He too is dead."
"And this place where people live for a short time and then move on -
did I hear you say that it is NOT an inn?"
84
 Story With A
Message 5

* The Obstacle in Our Path

In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then
he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the
huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest people came by and
simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not
keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the
big stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On
approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and
tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much
pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.
As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a
purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.
The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king
indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the
boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many
others
never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to
improve one's condition.

* It Will Pass

A student went to his meditation teacher and said, "My

meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or
I'm constantly falling asleep. It's just horrible!"
"It will pass," the teacher said matter-of-factly.
A week later, the student came back to his teacher. "My
meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive!
It's just wonderful!'
"It will pass," the teacher replied matter-of-factly. 85
 Story With A
Message 6
* Heaven and Hell
A man spoke with the Lord about Heaven and Hell. "I will show
you Hell," said the Lord. And they went into a room which had a
large pot of stew in the middle. The smell was delicious and
around the pot sat people who were famished and desperate. All
were holding spoons with very long handles which reached to
the pot, but because the handles of the spoons were longer than
their arms, it was impossible to get the stew into their mouths.
Their suffering was terrible.
"Now I will show you Heaven," said the Lord, and they went
into an identical room. There was a similar pot of stew and the
people had the same identical spoons, but they were well
nourished, talking and happy.
At first the man did not understand.
"It is simple," said the Lord. "You see, they have learned to feed
each other."

* The Oak Tree and The Reeds

There is an old fable in which the mighty oak tree which stood
for over one hundred years finally was blown over by a storm.
The tree fell into a river that floated it downstream until it came
to rest among the reeds growing along the riverbank. The fallen
giant asked the reeds in amazement, "How is it that you were
able to weather the storm that was too powerful for me, an oak
tree, to withstand?"
The reeds replied, "All these years you stubbornly resisted the
winds that swept your way. You took such pride in your strength
that you refused to yield, even a little bit. We, on the other hand,
have not resisted the winds, but have always bent with them. We
recognized the superior power of the wind and so, the harder the
wind blew the more we humbled ourselves before it." 86
 Story With A
Message 7
* The School Crossing Guard
"Old Bill" was hired as a school crossing guard. Every morning
and every afternoon "Old Bill" manned his corner, leading the
children across the street, back-n-forth to school and home. Bill
was a friendly old fellow, and every holiday the children loaded his
pockets with cards and good wishes. Mrs. Franklin, whose house
was on the corner where Bill worked, got into the habit on hot
afternoons of bringing Bill a tall, cold glass of fresh lemonade and
a few cookies.
Bill thanked her shyly and waited for the children. Then one
day there was a knock at Mrs. Franklin’s side door. There stood
"Old Bill" with a sack of peaches in one hand and a bag with a
dozen fresh-picked corn in the other. He seemed embarrassed as
he said, "I brought you these, Ma’am, for your kindness."
"Oh, you shouldn’t have," exclaimed Mrs. Franklin. "It was
nothing really, but some lemonade and cookies."
Then the crossing guard said, "Maybe it wasn’t much to you,
really. But, Ma’am, it was more than anyone else did for me. So,
thank you."

* Letter Writing Therapy

Abraham Lincoln’s Secretary of War, Edwin Stanton, was
angered by an army officer who accused him of favoritism.
Stanton complained to Lincoln, who suggested that Stanton write
the officer a sharp letter. Stanton did just that, and showed the
strongly worded critical letter to the President. "What are you
going to do with it now?" Lincoln asked.
Surprised, Stanton replied, "I’m going to send it to him."
Lincoln shook his head. "You don’t want to send that letter," he
said. "Put it in the stove over there. That’s what I do when I’ve
written a letter when I’m angry or bitter. Even letters I’ve written
to you. It’s a good letter and you had a good time writing it, and
feel better now. Go ahead, burn it, and write another letter with
less sharp edges." 87
 Story With A
Message 8

* Shouldering Someone’s Burden ……. Anonymous

Dr. Albert Schweitzer was one of the most famous
missionaries of the modern era. Leaving behind both an
academic career (he had a Ph.D. in both theology and
physics) and a concert career (he was also a renowned
concert organist) he set up a medical clinic in French
Equatorial Africa.
When he was 85 years old, Schweitzer and some others
were walking up a hill. It was extremely hot. Suddenly
Schweitzer walked away from the group and made his way
toward an African woman struggling up the hill with a large
load of wood from the woman and carried it up the hill for
her.
When he rejoined the group one of them asked why, in
view of his age, he did things like that. Schweitzer looked at
the group, then pointed to the woman and said, "6o one
should ever have to carry a burden like that alone."

* Full Awareness
After ten years of apprenticeship, Tenno achieved the rank
of Zen teacher. One rainy day, he went to visit the famous
Master 6an-in. When he walked in, the master greeted him
with a question, "Did you leave your wooden clogs and
umbrella on the porch?"
"Yes," Tenno replied.
"Tell me," the Master continued, "did you place your
umbrella to the left of your shoes, or to the right?"
Tenno did not know the answer, and realized that he had not
yet attained full awareness.
So he became 6an-in's apprentice and studied under him for
ten more years. 88
 Story With
A Message 9

* Pays Too Much For The Whistle

Thomas Fleming, in The Man Who Dared the Lightning,
tells how "when Benjamin Franklin was seven years old, a
visitor gave him some small change. Later, seeing another
boy playing with a whistle, young Ben had to have that
whistle and gave the boy all his money for it. Ben played the
whistle all over the house, enjoying it until he discovered that
he had given four times as much as the whistle was worth.
Instantly, the whistle lost its charm."
As he grew older, Franklin generalized this principle.
When he saw a man neglecting his family or business for
political popularity, or another giving up a friendship for the
sake of accumulating wealth, Franklin would say, "He pays
too much for his whistle."
Interesting how we, too, often pay too great a price for
something that looks and sounds so good and promises so
much. Don’t be fooled, the world offers you whistles that are
not worth the price.
* What’s Really Important?
A few years ago at the local Special Olympics, nine contestants,
all physically or mentally challenged, assembled at the starting line
for the beginning of the 100-yard dash. At the starter’s gun they
all started out, though not exactly in a dash, but with the relish to
run the race to the finish and win.
"All, that is, except one boy who stumbled on the track, he
tumbled a few times and began to cry. The other eight heard the
boy’s cry; they slowed down and paused confused. Then, as if on a
secret cue, they all turned around and went back to the fallen
runner, everyone of them. One girl with Down’s Syndrome bent
down and kissed him and said, "This will make it better." Then all
nine got up, held hands and walked together to the finish line.
"Everyone in the stadium stood, and cheered for ten minutes. 89
 Story With A
Message 10
* A Beautiful Story
In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan tore open
the wall. Japanese houses normally have a hollow space
between the wooden walls.
When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a
lizard stuck there because a nail from outside hammered into
one of its feet. He saw this, felt pity and at the same time
curious, as when he checked the nail, it was nailed 10 years
ago when house was first built. What happened..?
The lizard had survived in such position for 10 years!?!! In a
dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, it was
impossible and mind boggling.
Then he wondered, how this lizard survived for 10 years
without moving a single step - since its feet was nailed!
So he stopped his work and observed the lizard… what had
it been doing and what had it been eating? Later, strangely
from somewhere appeared another lizard, with food in its
mouth... AHHH! He was stunned and touched deeply. For
the lizard that was stuck by nail, another lizard had been
feeding it for the past 10 years..
Such a love, such a beautiful love!! Such love happened even
on this tiny creature... What can love do? It can do wonders!!
Imagine it has been doing it for a tiresome 10 years, without
giving up hope on its partner. Imagine what a small creature
can do that a creature blessed with the brilliant mind can't.
As technology advances, our access to information becomes
faster and faster. But the distance between human beings, is
it getting closer as well?

6EVER ABA6DO6 YOUR LOVED O6ES

90
*PRESS O6
NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN TAKE THE PLACE OF
PERSISTENCE. TALENT WILL NOT; NOTHING IS MORE
COMMON THAN UNSUCCESSFUL MEN WITH TALENT.
GENIUS WILL NOT; UNREWARDED GENIUS IS ALMOST A
PROVERB.
EDUCATION ALONE WILL NOT; THE WORLD IS FULL OF
EDUCATED DERELICTS.
PERSISTENCE AND DETERMINATION ALONE ARE
OMNIPOTENT.

* A Cheerful Heart
"`Tis well to walk with a cheerful heart
Wherever our fortunes call,
With a friendly glance and an open hand
And a gentle word for all.
Since life is a thorny and difficult path
Where toil is the portion of man,
We all should endeavor, while passing along
To make it as smooth as we can."


 
Pearl S. Buck observed that "we learn as much from sorrow
as from joy, as much from illness as from health, as much from
handicap as from advantage—and, indeed, perhaps more.
"Suffering and pain and confusion are realities in the lives
of us all—but in learning to cope without losing hope, in
learning from those realities and accepting the lessons learned
in humility and patience, we become capable of growth, re-
creation, transformation—and resurrection."
91
 Letting Go
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring;
It means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off...
It's the realization that I can't control another...
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try and change or blame another,
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the
outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective,
It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.
92
It Takes Courage
Author Unknown

It takes strength to be firm,

It takes courage to be gentle.

It takes strength to conquer,

It takes courage to surrender.

It takes strength to be certain,

It takes courage to have doubt.

It takes strength to fit in,

It takes courage to stand out.

It takes strength to feel a friend's pain,

It takes courage to feel your own pain.

It takes strength to endure abuse,

It takes courage to stop it.

It takes strength to stand alone,

It takes courage to lean on another.

It takes strength to love,

It takes courage to be loved.

It takes strength to survive,

It takes courage to live.

93
Think about it

Today before you think of saying an unkind word

Think of someone who can't speak

Before you complain about the taste of your food

Think of someone who has nothing to eat

Before you complain about your husband or wife

Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion

Today before you complain about life

Think of someone who went too early to heaven

Before you complain about your children

Think of someone who desires children but they're barren

Before you argue about your dirty house; someone didn't clean or sweep

Think of the people who are living in the streets

Before whining about the distance you drive

Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet

And when you are tired and complain about your job

Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had
your job

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another

Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still
around . 94
* The Triple Filter Test . . . . . . Source Unknown
In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in
high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher
and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before you talk to me

about my friend, it might be good idea to take a moment and
filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple
filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure
that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"Well, no," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and…"

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don’t really know if it’s
true or not. Now, let’s try the second filter, the filter of
Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend
something good?"

"Umm, no, on the contrary…"

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad

about my friend, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still
pass the test though, because there’s one filter left—the filter of
Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to
be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is
neither true, nor good, nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"
95
 Quotes on Contentment

"One who is contented with what he has done will never

become famous for what he will do. He has lain down to die,
and the grass is already over him."

--Christian 6estell Bovee

"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs

and returns home to find it."

--George Moore

"If you are content, you have enough to live comfortably."

-Plautus

"Since we cannot get what we like, let us like what we can

get."

--Spanish Proverb

"Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty."

--Socrates

The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you

have, and to be able to lose all desire for things beyond your
reach."

--Lin Yutang

"A contented heart is an even sea in the midst of all

storms."
- Unknown 96
 He will have to learn, I know,
that all men are not just,
all men are not true.
But teach him also that

for every scoundrel there is a hero;

that for every selfish Politician,
there is a dedicated leader…
Teach him for every enemy there is a friend.

Teach him, if you can,

the wonder of books…
But also give him quiet time
to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky,
bees in the sun,
and the flowers on a green hillside.
In the school teach him
it is far more honorable to fail
than to cheat…
Teach him to have faith
in his own ideas,
even if everyone tells him
they are wrong…
Teach him to be gentle
with gentle people,
and tough with the tough.
Try to give my son
the strength not to follow the crowd
when everyone is getting on the band wagon…
Teach him to listen to all men…
but teach him also to filter
all he hears on a screen of truth, and take only the good that
comes through. 97
We shall do much in the years to come,

but what have we done today?

TODAY
We shall give our gold in a princely sum,

but what did we give today?

We shall lift the heart and dry the tear,

We shall plant a hope in the place of fear,

We shall speak the words of love and cheer

but what did we speak today? T

We shall be so kind in the after while,

but what have we been today? O

We shall bring each lonely life a smile,

but what have we brought today? D

A
We shall reap such joys in the by and by,

but what have we sown today?

'Tis sweet in idle dreams to bask,

but here and now do we do our task?

Y
Yes, this is the thing our souls must ask, MATTERS

"What have we done today?" 98

 The Size Of Your Heart
It isn't the size of your house as such
That matters so much at all.
It's the gentle hand and its loving touch,
That make it great or small.
The friends who come and the hour they
Who out of your house depart,
Will judge it not by the style you show,
But rather by the size of your heart.
It isn't the size of your head so much,
It isn't the wealth you found.
That will make you happy -- it's how you touch
The lives that are all around.
For making money is not hard --
To live life well is an art:
How people love you, how they regard,
Is all in the size of your heart.

* Inspirational Words
Work: It is the secret of success.
Play: It is the symbol of youthfulness.
Read: It is the source of knowledge.
Think: It is the strength of the mind.
Love: It is the sacrament of life.
Dream: It is the soul of aspiration.
Help: It is the secret of happiness.
Laugh: It is the song of experience.
Pray: It is the source of strength.
Plan: It is the secret of being able to have time for all of the
above. 99
 Thoughts To Live By
You shall not worry,
for worry is the most unproductive of all
human activities.
You shall not be fearful,
for most of the things we fear never come to pass.
You shall not carry grudges,
for they are the heaviest of all life's burdens.
You shall face each problem as it comes.
You can only handle one at a time anyway.
You shall not take problems to bed with you,
for they make very poor bedfellows.
You shall not borrow other people's problems.
They can better care for them than you.
You shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone.
Concentrate on what is happening in your life. Be happy now!
You shall be a good listener,
for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own.
You shall not become "bogged down" by frustration,
for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive
action.
You shall count your blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a
lot of small blessings add up to a big one.
Inspiring Words
* If you add to the truth, you subtract from it.
* Nature, Time, and Patience are the three greatest physicians.
* Don’t talk about yourself; it’ll be done when you leave.
* Diligence is the mother of good luck.
* Knowledge is madness if good sense doesn’t direct it.
* What you dislike in another take care to correct in yourself.
* If you seek to understand the whole universe you’ll understand
nothing at all, but seek to understand yourself and you’ll come to
understand the whole universe.
* It is comparison that makes people happy or miserable. 100
 A6SWERS SECTIO6
RIDDLES

1. 11 letters in "THE ALPHABET" 2. He's lying. Even though

he's lying when he says "everything" he says is a lie, some of the
things he says can be a lie, and this is one of them.
3. Hawaii. All of it is surrounded by water. 4. The farmer's load
was heavier. His hired help only carried two sacks, while the
farmer carried one sack, but his sack is a sack of grain. The hired
help only carried 2 sacks - both empty. 5. You would be in 2nd.
6. Wind 7. Coffin 8. C and Y 9. Gloves 10.Sunrise/Sunset
11. mirror 12. Nothing 13. Night and Day 14. A Hole 15. A Tree.
16. I'm the Letter "D" 17. I am Tomorrow 18. It's True. The
Roman Numeral FOUR (IV) is in the middle of the word Five:
F(IV)E. 19.Heartache and Headache 20. When the door is opened
21.He was born in the hospital with the room number 1955.
22. The sentence doesn't contain the letter 'e' 23. Sally was
blind…she was reading a book by Braille. 24.Because he is still
alive! 25. Charcoal 26. A Map 27. It was stuck on the bottom of
the chicken's foot. 28. An electric train would not have smoke
29. The letter L 30. I'm your imagination 31. A Jigsaw Puzzle
Piece 32. SWIMS 33. The parrot was deaf 34. A Runny Nose
35. A computer keyboard, or typewriter 36. He was walking...not
driving 37. 4(as shown) X X 38. If you're living you can't be
buried. 39. Tea bag. X X 40. A Broom 41. He is a
hangman and she happened to be sentenced to death. 42. They
had no belly-buttons 43. Time 44. A Key 45. Nothing 46. An
Echo 47. EACH is the name of one of the men, and he's the only
one that took a pear 48. A Blink of an Eye 49. A Window
50. A Baby 51. The match 52. What stairs...you live in a "one
story house" ********
PUZZLES A6D TEASERS
1. Alice is a goldfish; Ted is a cat 3. The man is a midget. He
can't reach the upper elevator buttons, but he can ask people to
push them for him. He can also push them with his umbrella.
4. The sisters are Siamese twins 6. He stood on a block of ice to
hang himself 7. He jumped out of an airplane, but his parachute
failed to open 8. The husband killed himself a while ago; it's
his ashes in an urn on the mantelpiece that the wife looks at.
101
9. An Indian face & An Eskimo 10. The man has hiccups; the bartender
scares them away by pulling a gun. 11. The man used to be blind; he's now
returning from an eye operation which restored his sight. He's spent all his
money on the operation, so when the train goes through a tunnel he at first
thinks he's gone blind again and almost decides to kill himself. Fortunately,
the light of the cigarettes people are smoking convinces him that he can still
see. 13. The man was in a ship that was wrecked on a desert island. When
there was no food left, another passenger brought what he said was abalone but
was really part of the man's wife (who had died in the wreck). The man
suspected something fishy, so when they finally returned to civilization, he
ordered abalone, realized that what he ate before was his wife, and killed
himself. 15. The radio program is one of the call-up-somebody-and-ask-them-
a-question contest shows; the announcer gives the phone number of the man's
bedroom phone, and a male voice answers. 16. Both women are white and
single. A black male friend of the one who goes into the bathroom was
recently killed, reportedly by the KKK. The woman who goes into the
bathroom discovers a bloodstained KKK robe in the other's laundry hamper,
picks up a nail file from the medicine cabinet, and goes out and kills the other.
17. Simply figure that the trains will meet each other in 2 hours (200 km, and
each is traveling at 50 km/hour), so the fly is flying for 2 hours at 75 km/h for
a distance of 150 km.
18. 19. 20.

21.
1 = (5 / 5) x (5 / 5), 2 = (5 / 5) + (5 / 5), 3 = (5 + 5 + 5) / 5, 4 = ((5 x 5) - 5) / 5
5 = ((5 - 5) / 5 ) + 5, 6 = ((5 x 5) + 5) / 5, 7 = 5 + ((5 + 5) / 5),
8 = (5 - (5 / 5)) x .5 9 = 5 + 5 - (5 / 5) 10 = 5 + 5 x (5 / 5)

22 53 minutes 23 1980: he will be 45 in 2025

(45 x 45). 24. He takes the chicken and then comes
back. He then takes the fox and brings the chicken
back. He then takes the corn and comes back. Finally
he takes the chicken.
25 Stephen now has the chocolate. Tina now has the
water pistol. Caris now has the book. 26 All
words: mow, mown, mows, now, nows, nowt, nowts, ow,
own, owns, row, rows, snow, snows, SNOWSTORM, sow,
sown, sows, stow, stows, strow, strown, strows,
swoon, swoons, sworn, swot, swots, tow, town, towns,
tows, trow, trows, two, twos, wo, won, wons, wont,
wonts, woo, woos, worm, worms, worn, worst, worsts,
wort, worts, wos, wost, wot, wots.
27 Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Children
and fools must not play with sharp knives. Dog does
not eat dog. Moderation in all things. You can't kid
a kidder. 28 Brian robbed the Post Office. 102
29 A poor peasant from somewhere in Europe wants desperately to get to
the U.S. Not having money for airfare, he stows away in the landing gear
compartment of a jet. He dies of hypothermia in mid-flight, and falls out
when the landing gear compartment opens as the plane makes its final
approach.
30 The radio program is one of the call-up-somebody-and-ask-them-a-
question contest shows; the announcer gives the phone number of the
man's bedroom phone, and a male voice answers. 31 A young lovely lady .
An enormous cranium 32 The man is a blind midget. For various reasons
too complicated to go into, someone else has been sawing small pieces off
of his cane every night, so that every day he thinks he's taller. Since his
only income is from being a circus midget, he decides to kill himself when
he gets too tall. (Variant answer: instead of sawing pieces off of his cane,
someone has sawed the legs off of his bed. He wakes up, stands up, and
thinks he's grown during the night.)
33 Several men were shipwrecked together. They agreed to survive by
eating each other a piece at a time. Each of them in turn gave up an arm,
but before they got to the last one, they were rescued. They all demanded
that the last man live up to his end of the deal. Instead, he killed a bum and
sent the bum's arm to the others in a box to demonstrate that he fulfilled the
bargain. Later, one of them saw him on the subway, holding onto the
overhead rings with the arm he supposedly cut off, realized he cheated, and
killed him. 34 It's the man's fiftieth birthday, and in celebration of this he
plans to kill his wife, then take the money he's embezzled and move on to a
new life in another state. His wife takes him out to dinner; afterward, on
their front step, he kills her. He pens the door, dragging her body in with
him, and all the lights suddenly turn on and a group of his friends shout
"Surprise!" He kills himself.
36 The drinks contained poisoned ice cubes; the man who drank slowly
gave them time to melt, while the other didn't 37 The dead man was the
driver in a hit-and-run accident which paralyzed its victim. The victim did
manage to get the license plate number of the car; now in a wheelchair, he
eventually tracked down the driver and killed him. 38 10 meters. Sqrt
(3*3 + 4*4) * 2. They make two right triangles. 39 A 40 Radish.
Both grow underground.
41 ROGER - Peter has a fondness for names that have two of the same
consonant or alternatively he likes names with a vowel as the second letter.
42 NO SEX CAUSES BAD EYES 43 4100 44 Tuesday, Thursday,
today, and tomorrow! 45 Every year, at the beginning and end!
46 Pattern: Add 2, Add 1, Add 2, Add 1, etc Missing numbers: 13, 16,
and 17 47 Igor was telling he wanted to be a photographer when he grew
up. 48 Glass! 50 Everyone on the boat was married.
51 The Dictionary 52 No, because he is DEAD since his wife is his
widow. 53 6 103