BBI2424 ACADEMIC WRITING

SEMESTER 1, 2018-2019

LECTURE NOTES 3
WEEK 5 -WEEK 6

Topics:
1. Paraphrasing
2. Paraphrasing Strategies
3. Paraphrasing Techniques
4. Successful vs Unsuccessful
Paraphrases
1. PARAPHRASING

When you describe something you have heard, you often repeat the same idea but
use different words. For example, if you hear the TV announcer say, “There is an
80% chance of rain tomorrow,” you may tell a friend, “It will probably rain tomorrow.”
This last statement is a paraphrase. A paraphrase is a restatement of another
person’s ideas using your own words.

You can use paraphrasing in writing as well. Repeating the author’s ideas in your
own words shows that you truly comprehend the original ideas.

Three criteria for a good paraphrase

1. A good paraphrase has the same meaning as the original.

• All main ideas included
• No new ideas added

2. A good paraphrase is different enough from the original to be considered your

own writing.
• Uses own words or phrases that are different from the original
• Changes grammar, vocabulary and sentence structure from the original
as much as possible

3. A good paraphrase refers directly to (or cites) the original source.

• Includes the name of the author and/or the name of the source and the
year of publication

Paraphrase Example

Original excerpt:

The people in the country will support the new policy. It will bring a lot of good to
the poor.
(Benjamin Atkinson, 2005)

Paraphrase:

Atkinson (2005) states that the citizens shall be in favour of the new scheme as
it will benefit the less fortunate.

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2. PARAPHRASING STRATEGIES

Chunking method

One way to paraphrase is to divide the original sentences into phrases or “chunk”
and concentrate on explaining the meaning of each chunk. A chunk is a group of
words that expresses a key idea in the excerpt or passage you are working with.
This method can be especially helpful when you are working with longer passages.
Here is how chunking works.

1. Read the original passage several times to develop an understanding of the

ideas in the passage.

2. Divide the passage into chunks by underlining the main ideas. As you divide
the passage, focus on phrases rather than on words.

3. Explain each chunk using your own words. Here you will need to use
paraphrasing techniques which will be discussed in the next section.

4. Combine these explanations into one or more sentences to create a

paraphrase. As you combine these chunks, you will need to think about how
the ideas are related to each other. Try to rearrange these chunks into a new
order for your paraphrase, which means change of sentence structure.

5. Cite the source of the original passage using proper in-text citation (APA
style).

Example 1:

Original excerpt:

The poor students’ achievements surprised their teacher (chunk #1). She
attributed her students’ success (chunk #2) to their diligence and the
support given by the school. (chunk #3)

(Krashen Bell, 2004)

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Explanation of chunks:

1. The teacher was astonished by her less fortunate pupils’ accomplishments

2. She explained that her pupils’ key factor of success
3. Were their hard work and the school’s assistance

Paraphrase:

Bell (2004) reports that the teacher was astonished by her less fortunate
pupils’ accomplishments. She explained that her pupils’ key factor of success
were their hard work and the school’s assistance.

Example 2 shows a paraphrase in which the chunks have been arranged in an order
that is different from the original.

Example 2:

Original excerpt:

There is an element of sacrifice and obligation (chunk #1) as women are

expected to make many things secondary once the husband comes along,
(chunk #2) to devote their energies to him and his house and the building
of another family unit. (chunk #3)

(Penny Wark, 2003)

Explanation of chunks:

1. Women must give up time and energy for themselves

2. After women get married
3. Women are expected to(Penny
focus Wark, What
on taking Does
care of Life
theirTell Us About
husband, homeLove?,
and
children 2003)

Paraphrase:

After they get married, women must give up time and energy for
themselves because they are expected to focus on taking care of their
husband, home and children (Wark, 2003).

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3. PARAPHRASING TECHNIQUES

An effective paraphrase includes more than one of the following techniques. Read
and analyse the following examples of paraphrases. Take note of the various
techniques used to paraphrase the original excerpts. When you paraphrase, you may
use more than one of these techniques to paraphrase effectively.

1. Use synonyms

Original The U.S. government declared that the AIDS crisis poses a national
security threat. The announcement followed an intelligence report that
found high rates of HIV infection could lead to widespread political
destabilisation.

Sarah Marshall, 2015

Paraphrase The government of the United States announced that AIDS could harm
the nation's security. The government warned the population after an
important governmental study concluded that political problems could
result from large numbers of people infected with HIV (Marshall, 2015).

2. Change the part of speech of a word

Original Medical professor John Swanson says that global changes are
influencing the spread (noun) of disease.

James Fredrick, 2004

Paraphrase According to John Swanson, a professor of medicine, changes across

the globe are causing diseases to spread (verb) (Fredrick, 2004).

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3. Change numbers and percentages to different forms

Original Minority groups in the United States have been hit hardest by the
epidemic. African Americans, who make up 13 percent of the U.S.
population, accounted for 46 percent of the AIDS cases diagnosed in
1998.

Barbara Lynn Jensen, 2000

Paraphrase The AIDS epidemic has mostly affected minorities in the United
States. For example, in 1998, less than 15 percent of the total
population was African, but almost half of the people diagnosed with
AIDS in the United States that year were African America (Jensen,
2000).

4. Change word order: this might include changing from active voice to
passive voice

Original Malaria kills more than one million people annually, the overwhelming
majority of them children in sub-Saharan Africa.

Paul Angier, 2016

Paraphrase Every year, more than a million people are killed by malaria, and most
of the victims are children who live in sub-Saharan Africa (Angier,
2016).

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5. Change the sentence structure and use different connecting words

Original Although only about one-tenth of the world’s population lives there,
sub-Saharan Africa remains the hardest hit region, accounting for
72 percent of the people infected with HIV during the year 2000.

Connor Bills, 2014

Paraphrase Approximately 10 percent of the world’s population resides in sub-

Saharan Africa. However, this area of the world has the highest
percentage of AIDS-related illnesses. In fact, in 2000, almost three-
fourths of the population had the HIV virus (Bills, 2014).

****Caution: When paraphrasing, do not change key terms, proper nouns or

technical terms*****

Original In the northeastern United States, people are building homes on the
edge of woods, where ticks that carry Lyme disease hitch rides on
deer. In addition, in Africa, hunters bring back the meat of animals that
scientists think may transmit Ebola, a usually fatal disease that causes
massive hemorrhaging in its victims.

Umbeke Yaya, 2013

Paraphrase In the United States, residential areas are being built near wooded
areas in the northeast. These areas are also the homes of ticks
carrying Lyme disease. Also, according to scientists, hunters in Africa
kill animals that may carry the Ebola virus, an often fatal virus that
leads to serious hemorrhaging (Yaya, 2013).

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4. SUCCESSFUL vs UNSUCCESSFUL PARAPHRASES

Paraphrasing is often defined as putting a passage from an author into “your own
words.” But what are your own words? How different must your paraphrase be from
the original?

The excerpt below is taken from a book. Read and understand the ideas in the
excerpt.

The original excerpt:

Statements that appear pleasing in one context may be inappropriate in another.

For example, women in business are usually uncomfortable if male colleagues or
superiors compliment them on their appearance. The remarks suggest that the
women are being regarded as decorative items rather than as contributing
workers.

(John Maxwell, 2004)

The following two paraphrases are examples of unsuccessful paraphrases which are
plagiarised.

Word-for-Word Plagiarism

Statements that look pleasing in one context may be unsuitable in another. For
instance, women in business are usually uncomfortable if their male colleagues or
superiors praise them over their appearance. The remarks imply that the women are
being regarded as decoration but not as contributing workers.

Why is this plagiarism? (Ashraf ,Learning Etiquette, 2004)

Here, the writer has not only “borrowed” Maxwell’s work with no acknowledgment, but
the writer has also largely maintained the author’s method of expression and
sentence structure. The underlined words and phrases are directly copied from the
source or slightly changed in form.

Even if the writer had acknowledged Maxwell as the source of the content, the
language would be considered plagiarised because(Ashraf ,Learning
the writerEtiquette,
did not2004)
include
quotation marks to indicate the phrases or words that come directly from Maxwell.
However, if there were quotation marks around all the “borrowed” phrases and
words, the paragraph would be so cluttered that it could be unreadable.

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A Patchwork Paraphrase

Maxwell (2004) describes how women in business are usually uncomfortable

receiving compliments about their appearance from male colleagues or superiors. It
is inappropriate as they find the remarks suggesting women to be perceived as
decorative items rather than as contributing employees.

Why is this plagiarism?

This paraphrase is a patchwork composed of pieces in the original author’s language
(underlined) and pieces in the writer’s words, all rearranged into a new pattern.
Borrowed pieces of the original may be included but must be represented in
quotation marks. Thus, even though the writer acknowledges the source of the
material, the underlined phrases are falsely presented as the writer’s own.

A Successful and Legitimate Paraphrase

Paraphrase:

(Ashraf ,Learning Etiquette, 2004)

According to Maxwell (2004), businesswomen may feel uneasy upon receiving
ordinary, positive comments on how they look from male co-workers or
supervisors. He adds that to these women, the remarks carry an implied meaning
and instead of being thought of as productive employees, they are actually being
viewed as decoration. This shows that a genuine complimentary remark may be
viewed as a derogatory comment in certain situations.

Why is this a good paraphrase?

The writer has documented Maxwell’s material by making direct reference to the
author (in-text citation) and modifying Maxwell’s language by using synonyms and
changing the sentence structure.

(Ashraf ,Learning Etiquette, 2004)

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EXERCISE 1
Paraphrase the following sentences and add in-text citations.

1. At present, students are poor writers because they lack ideas and have poor
writing skills.
(Mark Hall & Joe Leemann, 2013)

______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

2. The clearing of rain forest has brought about catastrophic consequences to

the environment.
(Bryan Freeman, 2010)

______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

3. Since animals share many features with humans, scientists use animals to test
the safety and effectiveness of newly developed drugs before pilot testing
them on small groups of patients.
(Diana Smith, 2015)

______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

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EXERCISE 2
Paraphrase the following excerpts using the chunking method and the
paraphrasing techniques you have learned. Add an in-text citation. Follow the
instructions provided to help you paraphrase the excerpt.

Original excerpt:

Students frequently overuse direct quotation in taking notes, and as a result they
overuse quotations in the final research paper. Probably only about 10 percent of
the final manuscript should appear as directly quoted matter. Therefore, students
should strive to limit the amount of exact transcribing of source materials while
taking notes.

(James Lester, 2010)

1. How would you divide the sentences into smaller chunks? Underline each chunk.
As you divide the sentences into chunks, remember to focus on phrases rather
than single words.

2. Explain the meaning of each chunk using your own words. Use the paraphrasing
techniques you have learned.
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________

3. Using your explanations, write a paraphrase of the excerpt. You may arrange your
sentences in a different order than they appear in the original excerpt. As you put
the chunks together, remember to consider how they are related to each other.

________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________

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EXERCISE 3

Original excerpt:

Of the more than 1000 bicycling deaths each year, three-fourths are caused by
head injuries. Half of those killed are school-age children. One study concluded
that wearing a bike helmet can reduce the risk of head injury by 85 percent. In
an accident, a bike helmet absorbs the shock and cushions the head.

(Bike Helmets: Unused Lifesavers, Consumer Reports Tribunal, May 2013)

1. How would you divide the sentences into smaller chunks? Underline each chunk.
As you divide the sentences into chunks, remember to focus on phrases rather
than single words.

2. Explain the meaning of each chunk using your own words. Use the paraphrasing
techniques you have learned.
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________

3. Using your explanations, write a paraphrase of the excerpt. You may arrange your
sentences in a different order than they appear in the original excerpt. As you put
the chunks together, remember to consider how they are related to each other.

________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________

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