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I will go through children’s sleep needs in different ages and how to best
approach their sleep. To allow a good overview I will begin with newborns,
and then move on to the 3-month-old child, then 3-6 months, and finally the
1-2 year old child. I will finishes with some concluding advice about sleeping
rituals that you may find inspirational and useful up until the child reaches
7-9 years of age. I will concludes with a loving encouragement to you as
parents that you need to remember to take care of your own sleep too.
INTRODUCTION who have not had enough sleep. cial challenges and experiences, can have trouble listening. They to become wiser about where or her own fears upon the child.
It is very taxing for children to be it is vital to send them off rested can become aggressive and we can assist our children with a From my experience, very few
The Necessary outside their own home environ- and well. quick-tempered. Older children caring hand. children are actually born fear-
Regenerative Sleep ment; they have to relate to lots may have a hard time expressing ful. Therefore, your child will
When we as parents look at our of other people at a time when It is also a lot easier to eat for a themselves, not being able to It is important to remind our- benefit greatly from your posi-
small sleeping child, it fills our they naturally would engaged well-rested child. If you have to explain what is wrong. They can selves that it is wonderful to tive thoughts and feelings about
hearts with love. This deep sat- more with their own physical and wake up children in the morning, become inward and withdrawn or sleep. It is full of easement, well- falling asleep, also when they are
isfaction of watching your child inner development. The basis for it is mostly because they have not be troubled and sad. The reason being and an absolute necessity going through a period where it
sleeping safe and sound in their any child being able to cope with had enough sleep and is in need I mention this is that it is impor- to lay down and go to sleep. It is is difficult.
little bed is, I believe, universal. the world is of course that it is of more. With children who are tant for you as the parent to con- important for your child’s expe-
healthy, but also well rested. very tired, at least half an hour sider if lack of sleep may be one rience of being tucked-in that Sleep for the Newborns
It is wonderful to get a good may pass before they are even of the reasons why your child is you do not feel guilty or worried A small baby is not born with
night’s sleep, and to get the sleep Children who are at their best able to eat. Children who wake not functioning well. This param- about it. Your approach and at- a sense of a sound sleeping
you need. In our sleep, we charge get a lot more out of life. We up by themselves after a good eter is sometimes over-looked, titude towards sleep has a lot to rhythm and it has no sense of
up for the next day’s experiences know this from our own experi- night’s sleep are often able to as it requires that both parents say in how your child will expe- day and night. It has hunger, and
and during sleep, we process the ence as adults too. When we are eat right away. As a guideline, if and pedagogues communicate rience sleep. You can safely start it has sleep. These two elements
day that has just passed and de- well-rested we are more pre- a parent needs to wake up their about the child’s sleep at home teaching your child to fall asleep make up the child’s rhythm. As
tox our brains. Being human, we pared to tackle life’s’ challenges child in the morning, they will as well as in the day-care centre. by itself, without having to be the adult, you must understand
are dependent on our sleep, and during the day; to have other probably need to tuck them into stimulated, from it is around one that you need to teach the child
one could say that having a good people speaking to us and we bed earlier in the evening. When considering sleep, it years old. Newborns will naturally to get a good sleeping rhythm.
day is dependent upon having a to them, to go places with oth- therefore makes sense to include do so when they are breast-fed At the same time, you must be
good night’s sleep too. er people, to eat together with Lack of sleep is often the result the four other parameters in our or get milk from a bottle. It is not very careful to observe the child,
others and so on. This is true for of an unstable rhythm that can thinking: Is there a recognizable dangerous or lonely to lie by one- because each child is unique and
When it comes to small children, small children too. Well-rested be stabilised. To be able to work rhythm in the child’s daily life? self; it is in fact natural for the individual.
it is very easy to see if their sleep and prime children are much efficiently towards resetting a Has the child had enough physi- child to learn to fall asleep on
has been regenerative to their more able to engage in playing, good sleeping rhythm requires cal exercise? Has mealtime been its own. Unconsciously you can However, some things do apply
wellbeing and energy, or if the and it is easier for them to have of course that the adults see that calm and nourishing? Has there transfer your own anxiety and in general: Newborns are only
child doesn’t get enough sleep a clear sense of their own physi- lack of sleep may be the root of been enough time to look each worries or fear of abandonment awake 30-45 minutes at a time,
and has perhaps even suffered cal capability when they feel well the problem. This is important other in the eye? The quality to your child. Fear is contagious, and then sleep for perhaps 1-3
from lack of it over a long period in their own body; to be able to to mention here, because a child of sleep depends on our feel- and the child will always respond hours. Then they wake up to feed
of time. It is equally easy to ob- run, climb and be together with who lacks sleep can develop ings, impressions and general to its’ parent’s feelings. This is a and go back to sleep again. This
serve that well rested children are others playing and so on. The symptoms that resemble those wellbeing during the day. Thus, very sensitive issue with lots of first period is very irregular and
far more capable of developing child is also more active during in children with autism or ADHD, different essential aspects of opinions, but in my experience, extremely individual. Some chil-
healthily and engaging socially the morning than during the which can point both parents life are deeply connected, and it the fear of abandonment is often dren sleep for a long time in one
with other children in for exam- afternoon, so when we send our and pedagogues in the wrong therefore makes sense to study a misinterpretation where the go between breastfeeding whilst
ple day care centre than children children off to a day of many so- direction. A child that lacks sleep these basic areas of life in order adult unconsciously projects his others sleep in smaller stretches
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ents, you will find your own year. Many books invite too where it is more or less diffi- break the rhythm it can cost you by weaning it off something that
rituals; you might choose songs many choices at a time when the cult for them to fall asleep. The a whole week of disharmony and was not no longer useful to it. Helle Heckmann has written
you had sung to you when you child needs to quieten and slow important thing is that you keep trouble. Perhaps you have tried the book The Five Golden Keys
were a child. Perhaps you will down. For the same reason you acting the same and keep trust- yourself to break the rhythm and Your own sleep with advise for parent and teachers.
read some of the same bedtime do not want to read for too long ing that your child is perfectly experienced how far-reaching As mentioned in the beginning www.slowparenting.dk
stories at night or give the child because the main principle is to capable falling asleep by itself. the consequences can be. of this article sleep is vital to our
a bath in the evening, or other create a safe and calm atmos- If the child cries, you listen to wellbeing regardless of wheth-
rituals of care that fit with your phere that brings the necessary what kind of crying it is; try for “But we are doing er we are adults or children. It
family rhythm. It is your noble settlement, allowing the child example to count to 50 before everything we can!” is demanding to have energetic
task to create your own rituals, to fall asleep. Overall, the whole you do anything to see if it is It may well be that you experi- small children when not well
the important point being that process should not take more 20 just the child’s way of expressing ence having a hard time getting rested yourself. You probably
your child will be able to rec- minutes. itself where you don’t need to your child to sleep even though know this already. You are a
ognize and feel safe with the follow up on it. Very strong willed you feel you are doing everything much better parent when you get
rhythm and rituals you create. After the bedtime story, you can children might have a need to you can think of and have cov- enough sleep. You become less
put your child to bed and per- express themselves very loud- ered all their basic needs. My ad- irritable and are better able to
As mentioned previously, sleep haps sing a little song. It might ly; it does not necessarily mean vice to you is to just keep trying maintain an overview. I therefore
begins with the meal. After meal- be nice if you hold their hand they are feeling unsafe. The main and remember that childhood is want to emphasize that you need
time, the child might sit and play for a bit and speak lovingly and thing is that you feel confident one long process of development to take care of your own biolog-
for about half an hour. It can be reassuringly to them, or you can that your child is able to fall with many different phases. The ical need for sleep too. For some
good to do the dishes right away, just sit quietly together. When asleep, and that it is good for the difficulties you are going through time you may have to accept,
as the small child loves to listen you feel ready, and the child child to be by itself. right now will surely pass too. that you cannot stay up late, even
to the grown-ups going about seems to have settled to it, you Perhaps the child just needs to though you feel you need this
their business, whilst the child can blow out the candle, kiss the You may leave the door ajar so settle to a new phase, where adult time. As a parent, you are
comes, goes, and plays nearby. little one goodnight and leave the child can fall asleep to the many things are happening at a on duty all the time and I know
The daytime rhythm can be the room. It is most effective sounds of home; there is no tremendous speed, and perhaps of no parents who do well with