MARRIAGE AT YOUNGER AGE SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED

Imagine yourself walking like Cinderella stunningly in an exquisite shimmering white gown
next to your prince charming, it surely will become the ultimate memorable moment in your
life. The union of two hearts is the most anticipated day in everyone’s life. Marriage is
synonymous with the symbol of eternal love and happiness. It is the major transition in one’s
life in obligations and adulthood. Recently, a study conducted by National Longitudinal
Study of Adolescent Health shows that 25% of women and 18% of men marry before the age
of 23, and the numbers keep increasing from time to time. This has received overwhelming
reactions from all citizens. Many are against marriages at a younger age as they believe it is
opposite with the norms of the culture. In their belief, young ages between 18 to 23 years old
is not a suitable chapter of life to get married as the lovebirds may have not exposed to the
real challenging world yet. However, like the two-sided coins, every element always comes
with two sides of opinions, we firmly believe that younger marriages specifically between 18
to 23 years old have their own advantages. The researchers state that one is more likely to
marry a true peer and someone with high compatibility if they marry in the 20s as compared
to older ages (Brett & McKay, 2015). Marriages at a younger age can teach one to become
more self-reliant and the married couples will have a great supporter for one another.

First and foremost, young married couples can learn how to be more self-reliant. The
moment they get married to one another, they have vowed to be devoted to each other with
excessive love and care. Their sense of responsibility will start to ignite and have the urge to
take a good care of their own household. This is because they are no longer under their
parents’ supervision and responsibility anymore hence they will slowly acquire skills on how
to manage their own affairs without having to depend on their parents anymore.
Consequently, these couples will be able to stand on their own two feet. Marriage will change
the way one handles finances (Cautero, 2018). In particular, the couples have to start thinking
of paying house and car taxes, utility bills, home appliances, groceries, and the list goes on.
In this phase of life, the husband as the family leader will act as the breadwinner to support
the family economically (Horwitz, White & Howell, 1996). They will be more committed in
their daily work and become more productive in work. If we compare to the single person,
they do not have any commitment, so they tend to take the job for granted such as always
taking the day off from work and end up not too committed to their jobs. Marriage also
requires sacrification from both sides in term of time compromise. The moment other young
generations are having an enjoyable life, the couples, on the other hand, have to become more
serious with well-planned future for their own family. Overall, the independence or
responsibility traits that one obtained through marriage are the best platform to improve self-
reliance.

Tying the knot means the connection of two people in a bond, thus one can have a
great support system by their side throughout their life. Marriage is more than merely about
love, sex and raising children, rather contemporary marriage requires the partners to complete
and become the backbone of each other. In order to obtain a thriving and beautiful marriage,
the couples need to become a best friend to one another. Weasley (n.d.) claims that marriage
without friendship prone to an unhealthy and temporary relationship. In this context, the
married couples are considered lucky to have someone to share every single aspect of things
in life together. Sharing life stories, problems, news either good or bad, makes them
eventually learn how to appreciate one another during the best times and the worst times. The
partners can become a good listener and have someone whom they can constantly depend on.
Aside from that, they can spend most of their times indulging in enjoyable activities together
like watching movies, listen to love songs, candlelight dinners and many more romantic times
as husband and wife. They also can complement each other like taking care of the basic needs
and safety needs. For example, the husband can lend a hand to do the house chores while the
wife can cook. Besides, marriage at a young age will give them a chance to grow up together
and helping partners engage in a voyage of discovering inner potential and personal growth
(Brown, 2003). The spouse can become the primary reason for them to do better and to
achieve more hierarchy of success in life. Sharing common goals and milestones throughout
their marriage will increase the value of marriage. Therefore, a support system gained
through marriage can facilitate one in self-discovery and personal development.

On the contrary, Wolfinger (2003) claims that the age in between 18 to 23 is the phase
where one will encounter a lot of emotions swings in themselves. The critical setback of
young age marriage is due to psychological of the growing youth. Psychological is related to
the mental and emotional state of a person. It is believed that the young generations are very
fragile in controlling their own emotion. A study from Georgia Institute of Technology
(2009) shows that failure to regulate emotions like reducing negative emotions and inhibits
unfavorable or prejudice thoughts will result in disruption of their relationship with people
surroundings. A married couple will face seven or more stages of marriage throughout a
lifetime (Ort, 2000). At first, the wedding seems to be the most enchanting day with the
perfect partner to spend the whole life with. However, day by day the veil of the true colors
from their spouse will be revealed. Some behaviours and characteristics may not be according
to what they expect for before the wedding. In this case, young blood may become rebellious
and less tolerant towards their spouse. Inevitably, the couples will go through a period of
inglorious and boredom in marriage. They will find their spouse is unpleasing and have the
guts to continue their marriage. This is when the idea of divorce starts to emerge in their
thoughts. They will start to quarrel and fights with their spouse since they do not know how
to control emotions and cannot think maturely like an older adults. This is due to the lack of
experience in handling emotions carefully since they are still young. Hence, young people are
at the disadvantage when it comes to emotions control during the marriage.

Furthermore, marriage at younger ages is not always the best option, it can be
challenging in pursuing education and careers. Supposedly, age around 20s is the time where
others start to set their foot on preferable universities to be in the next level of achieving their
goals and dreams. Conversely, married young couples will have to shoulder many
responsibilities at such a young age. It hinders them from getting a proper education.
Financial stability is one of the primary factor restraining young couples to acquire an
education. They need to think twice before thinking about going to university because all the
expenses are on their own. The silhouette of the amount of fees and money required will
continue to haunt them. According to Institute of Social Welfare University of Dhaka (2003),
there are around 50% of young married women who get pregnant during studies drop college
and only complete their level of education until high school in the USA. As the
consequences, the young married couples lose the chance and instead need to find the job to
support their household. Besides, the younger people have not yet explore themselves to
make some discovery regarding their own needs, interests, preferences, and opportunities in a
specific career. For that reason, they are lack of knowledge and skills. This can be quite
obstructive in job opportunities. In this era, there are lots of highly competent candidates
applying for jobs while at the same time job opportunities are very limited in numbers. Due
to their low level of education, it is impossible for them to obtain highly paid jobs. So they
have to only bear with menial jobs in which the payment is very minimum. To summarise,
marriage at young ages hinder youngsters in getting the education and secure career in the
future.

‘Experience is the best teacher’ is a well-known proverb used to describe that

experiences can teach individual numerous of things, same goes to marriage life. Life is not a
fairytale and fantasy, real-life marriage will have setbacks that can be very discouraged in
which when not dealt comprehensively will lead to the breakdown of the relationship.
Marriage at younger ages will cultivate maturity. In reality, marriage requires sacrification
from both sides on behalf of one another despite the ages. One must possess the ability to
resolve conflicts without creating chaos in the relationship (Ort, 2000). It is true that one can
only see the other sides of your partner only after they got married. However, the rainbow
comes only after a heavy rain and so do good things always take time. The key to a long-
lasting marriage will always be patience. As a married couple, they need to learn to accept
each other flaws and throw away the idea of a perfect marriage. Marriage is not always about
the one who can complete you, but rather it is about whom can complement you (Dew,
2001). It takes small baby steps each day for the young married couple to develop virtues and
a deeper affection towards one another even after they are going through difficulties
throughout the marriage. In fact, this can increase their level of maturity in handling tough
situations without taking any remorseful decision. They will learn on patience, tolerance and
to always think thoroughly before making decisions.

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest (Wolfinger, 2013). Moving on to

the next point, it is not impossible for the young married couple to still continue studies even
after getting married. They have one another back so they can work hard together in order to
obtain an education. There are plenty of ways to secure money for the studies if they really
put their heart within it. For instance, they can do part-time jobs or small business during
studies to support themselves. In the meantime, this will also teach them determination and
perseverance. There are many cases of students getting married during their studies shows a
great improvement in their grades. This is due to the reason that they have a supportive
spouse by their side. The fact that they are sharing common goals and interests can give a
kind of encouragement for them to have a sparkling spirit to climb to the top mountain of
success, not only in studies but other aspects of life as well. What is more is they can learn
how to be more committed in life although their same ages friends are having fun with their
life. In this context, they can also achieve their dreams but not as individuals, but together in
pairs. The young married couple can plan for their future together and share the
achievements.

In a nutshell, marriage at a younger age between 18 to 23 should be encouraged as it

proved that early marriage gives numerous benefits to the youngsters. We can conclude that
marriage teaches one to be more self-reliant and provide one with a strong support system to
achieve success in life. The true meaning of marriage is when one starts to let go or sacrifice
the attitude of self-centered and individually thinking. But, they have to start thinking about
their partner, for their future children and their own family. We believe that life after
marriage can be full of tough, lengthy road and endless obstacles but it surely will become
the greatest life lessons in one’s life. To add on, marriage can help one to develop more
positive attributes such as gratefulness, independence, helpful, honesty and many more. We
ended our discussion with some wise words from Dew (n.d.) in which she highlights that
neither man nor woman is complete without the other. Thus, no marriage or family, no ward
or stake will reach its full potential until they work together in unity of purpose, respecting
and relying upon each other’s thoughts.
References

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Cautero, R.M. (2018, February 23). How getting married changes your mindset about money.
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