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Posted by: Donna Cunningham | July 19, 2009

The Moon Signs and their Emotional Habits

©2009 by Donna Cunningham, MSW

Some folks aren’t happy unless they’re sad. Others use anger to keep themselves pumped up. For
some people, dwelling on self-pity or feeling victimized become well-worn grooves that occupy an
emptiness they wouldn’t otherwise know how to fill. Here I’m talking about the feeling tone that
typifies each of us. “Doris is always depressed. What a sad sack!” “Bob would rather bite your head off
than say hello. He’s always in a foul mood.”

Although a broad range of emotions is possible, most of us experience and express a very narrow
range. The content and breadth of that range vary with the individual and are shown by the Moon in
your chart. The Moon rules emotions, habits, and the unconscious. I made many discoveries by
looking for connections between Moon ma ers. One such discovery was that many negative emotions
that torment us persistently are bad habits we learned very early. We are no longer conscious of why
they arose, so these tapes switch on automatically in stressful situations. In a crisis, we play the same
tapes, only louder.

An emotional habit is a learned pa ern, an unconscious and automatic response to emotion-

producing circumstances. When people or situations push your bu ons, it makes you feel safe. It
works well most of the time, so it is no longer conscious. In a sense, it is a defense mechanism.

Emotional habits are familiar and comfortable, whereas unfamiliar

feelings rock the boat too much. While the selected feelings tend to be
unpleasant, they are still less difficult to handle than others that
threaten the status quo. When uncomfortable reactions come up,
many people unconsciously and rapidly call on the habitual ones.
These become multi-purpose tools used--and overused--in many
situations to keep from confronting the real feelings.

Many strong but recurring emotions should be seen as suspect, as all

too often they are a distortion of the true response. The conversion may be made so quickly that
people don’t even allow themselves to recognize emotions they regard as unacceptable. For instance,
those who don’t wish to acknowledge their need to control may instantly convert it into guilt and walk
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around feeling guilty much of the time. Guilt may not be pleasant, but they believe it makes them a
nicer person than someone who wants to dominate others. Those who find guilt too ego-wounding
may convert it into blaming others.

Those who are uneasy with anger may immediately turn it into depression or anxiety. They may even
say--and believe--that they never get angry. Anger, again, isn’t nice. People around them, however,
may sense the underlying anger in their words and deeds and react to it. Haven’t you noticed how
irritating depressed people can be? Others are far too comfortable with anger, using resentment and
brooding to keep from experiencing a variety of feelings, such as powerlessness or grief over their
losses.

For someone else, anxiety may be a habit. In each new or challenging situation, anxiety gushes up
from an endless pool underneath. The person spins into a state of fear that becomes all consuming.
Just as the depressive person automatically se les into the funk, the anxiety-ridden person
unthinkingly allows his nervousness to become his total reality. In
both cases, these habits can be defenses against other feelings.

Our personal range of safe, old-shoe emotions often correlates with

the Moon’s sign and aspects in the birth chart. The pa erns
characteristic of the twelve Moon signs are often no more than
habit. As we go along, we will learn about the reactions typical of
the twelve Moon signs. For example, most Moon in Aries people
aren’t comfortable with fear or neediness, so they may react
aggressively instead. Moon in Virgo individuals, on the other hand,
may avoid strong emotions by turning them into psychosomatic
illnesses or by overworking.

Because these states are unconscious, it requires a great effort to

become aware of Moon habits and break them. Therapy and other insight producing situations may
help if these habits are making your life miserable. However, conscious awareness is a good
beginning, and it can come through studying the Moon in your horoscope. The Moon’s sign and
aspects relate to the mother’s state during the child’s first year of life. For example, with Moon in
Capricorn, the mother was probably depressed or very somber in the child’s earliest months . . .
perhaps even suffering from postpartum depression. Living in this emotional bath, her offspring’s
reactions to the world may be shaped by depression, even in adulthood.

Apart from the tone of your earliest contacts with mother, she shaped your emotions in the same way
she shaped a great variety of behaviors you take for granted. She trained you—just as she did in
toothbrushing and table manners--by giving her approval or withholding it. Like anyone else, Mom
had a narrow comfort zone of emotions. If she gave a ention or approval for showing particular
emotions, they would tend to increase. If she withdrew--or even punished you--when you displayed
others, you quickly learned to suppress them or mask them behind the ones she could accept.

For instance, the mother of a child born with Moon in Aries

typically has li le patience when the child is whining,
clinging, or afraid. She may respond with impatience and even
rage. On the other hand, some such mothers have a sneaking
admiration for spunky li le displays of independence, of
assertiveness, or even of temper. You can guess which of these
qualities she suppressed and which she rewarded. In addition,
rage is contagious, so if she was irritable and impatient in
handling the child, the result could be an irritable child.

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Incidentally, this approach reveals clear distinctions between the Sun sign and the Moon sign. The
differences are not so much in the behavior, but in the underlying motivation. For instance, Sun sign
Virgos and Moon sign Virgos may both overwork to the point of exhaustion. Sun sign Virgos do it,
however, because their self-worth is bound up in their work. Many of them identify strongly with
their productivity. They don’t feel good about themselves unless they put in more hours and get more
work done than anyone else on the job. It’s almost a form of one-upmanship.

Moon sign Virgos, on the other hand, overwork as a way of avoiding feelings, especially about some
ongoing issue or condition. When there is too much conflict in their primary relationship, they may
absent themselves by working long hours. Or, when there is no relationship, they may overwork to
avoid going home to an empty house and confronting the loneliness. Sun sign Virgos, on some level,
are still trying to please Dad or his equivalents, while Moon sign Virgos are modeling themselves after
Mom.

See a related post on Vibration, the flower essence blog: Bad Emotional Habits and How to Break
Them (h p://www.floweressencemagazine.com/blog/?p=619)

Posts about the Moon and Cancer:

How Strong is your Moon? Here’s the Score? (h ps://skywriter.wordpress.com/2010/07/08/how-

strong-is-your-moon-here%e2%80%99s-the-score/)
Why Transits to the Birth Moon are so Challenging
(h ps://skywriter.wordpress.com/2009/09/25/why-transits-to-the-birth-moon-are-so-challenging/)
How Outer Planet Transits to the Moon Affect Family Life
(h ps://skywriter.wordpress.com/2009/12/05/how-outer-planet-transits-to-the-moon-affect-family-
life/)
Why Cancer Isn’t a Popular Sign (h ps://skywriter.wordpress.com/2010/07/07/why-cancer-
isn%e2%80%99t-a-popular-sign/)
Cancerians, Memory and Emotion (h ps://skywriter.wordpress.com/2009/05/18/cancerians-
memory-and-emotion/)
The Dance of the Primal Lights –How the Sun and Moon Light Up the Personality
(h ps://skywriter.wordpress.com/2010/10/06/the-dance-of-the-primal-lights-how-the-sun-and-
moon-light-up-the-personality/)
The Moon Signs and their Emotional Habits (h ps://skywriter.wordpress.com/2009/07/19/the-
moon-signs-and-their-emotional-habits/)
Ou ake from a Moon-Pluto Life (h ps://skywriter.wordpress.com/2010/07/14/ou ake-from-a-
moon-pluto-life/)
Understanding Mercury Aspects to the Moon
(h ps://skywriter.wordpress.com/2010/06/19/understanding-mercury-aspects-to-the-moon/)
Cosmic Piñata #6—a Moon Miscellany (h ps://skywriter.wordpress.com/2010/07/19/cosmic-pinata-
6%e2%80%94a-moon-miscellany/)
Readers Ask: Q & A about the 4th House (h ps://skywriter.wordpress.com/2010/07/17/readers-ask-
q-a-about-the-4th-house/)
Fool’s Gold—the Slippery Slope of the South Node
(h ps://skywriter.wordpress.com/2009/08/16/fool%e2%80%99s-gold%e2%80%94the-slippery-slope-
of-the-south-node/)

FREE EBOOKLET FOR SKYWRITER SUBSCRIBERS ONLY: a 50-page excerpt from my out-of-
print book, The Moon in your Life, also known as Being a Lunar Type in a Solar World. Read more about
it here: NEW: FREE BOOKLET FOR SKYWRITER SUBSCRIBERS!
(h ps://skywriter.wordpress.com/2009/08/02/new-free-booklet-for-skywriter-subscribers/) If you’re
already a subscriber and want a copy, forward the most recent email post to me at

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moonmave@spiritone.com (mailto:moonmave@spiritone.com). To sign up for

a subscription, go to the top right hand corner of the blog and click on
“Subscribe.” Then send me an email with your subscription confirmation or
an email post.

Note: This post was adapted from my hardcopy book The Moon in Your Life,
published by RedWheel/Weiser and now out of print. You may also find it under the
original name (first edition) of the book, which was Being a Lunar Type in a Solar
World. Used copies can still be obtained through Amazon.com (//Amazon.com). You
might also check out a place where people swap books for free.
h p://www.paperbackswap.com (h p://www.paperbackswap.com/). All it costs is
postage.This place is a gem. It has several hundred astrological and metaphysical
paperbacks among the several million books on a variety of subjects that people can swap.

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Posted in Bits from My Books and Articles | Tags: ARTICLES ABOUT ASTROLOGY, birth chart,
Donna Cunningham, emotional habits, emotions, Moon in Aries, Moon in Capricorn, Moon in Virgo,
Moon signs, skywriter

Although my Sun is in jVirgo and moon in Pices, I find I do this also. I work when I’m upset. It all
started when my mother would take me for a walk when I was upset. She always felt walking
helped to work things jout. It did. If I can’t walk …I work. Pulling weeds is a great reliever…
although it takes a gentle pull to get them out. the force of slowing down the energy flow slows
down the anger or frustration. It works for me any way. Just thought I’d pass it on.

By: Delores Swanson on July 23, 2009

at 6:47 am

Reply

Thank you for the lovely article! i’m just awed about the moon in Virgo..my youngest daughter
now 24, has a moon in Virgo, so does her Dad, exact same degree, so does my brother in law,(not
related to her Dad) all three of these people are NOT overworkers..at all,more like borderline lazy
and dreamers. My daughter is a drama queen, and VERY emotional ,and not the overworking type
, far from it..creative yes ! but very impractical, she has no clue as how to take care of herself…same
goes for her Dad who is manic depressive..and hates work..my brother in law is starting to be hard
working..but i believe is taurus ascendant is kicking in..and he now has a girlfriend !all three are co
dependents, they cannot function without a mate.(the part where you say they do not like being
alone) Whenever i speak with my daughter, i hold the criticism because i always feel like i need

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to tell her what to do..(her moon in Virgo…how i the Mom relate to her) i see…but i don’t get what
you say about the overworking part !?
Merci ! and be well

By: Louise on July 24, 2009

at 7:36 am

Reply

HI, Louise, Of course not everyone with Moon in Virgo is a workaholic–or a compulsive
cleaner, for that ma er–though many of them are. For a complete picture, you have to look at
all the planets that form aspects (angles) to the Moon, because some of them can override the
Moon sign. If your daughter is 24, she would either have been born in 1984 or 1985, and during
several years around then, Uranus was in Sagi arius, forming a square (90 degree angle) to
Virgo planets. If so, then she’d be somewhat like an Aquarian Moon, in rebellion against all
those Virgo traits, and against her family’s values, particularly Good Old Mom. Then, you’d
have to take the house position of the Moon into account, because, for instance, if it were in the
7th (the house of marriage), she might marry someone who typified the the qualities of that
Moon sign. As you can see, astrology charts are really complex and no single description can
suffice.
What interests me, however, is what you say about all the family members that have Moon in
Virgo. Moon signs do run in families, or you might see that one person’s Moon is another
member’s Rising sign. Hope that helps! Donna

By: Donna Cunningham on July 24, 2009

at 9:02 am

Reply

[…] Astrology Lovers: See a related article on Donna’s blog, Skywriter: The Moon Signs and their
Emotional Habits […]

By: Vibration Magazine Blog » Blog Archive » Bad Emotional Habits and How to Break Them on
August 7, 2009
at 8:19 am

Reply

My 7 year old daughter is a Gemini with an Aries moon. I have been wondering what I will do to
earn that reputation. I knew what sign the moon was in during my labor and I tried to hold out for
that gentle moon in Taurus. It just wasn’t meant to be. She has a 29 degree Aries moon. There must
be other words to describe the Aries moon dynamic. She is an only child. My mother was an Aries.
I am not a demonstrative, angry or impatient person. My sun is in Libra and my moon is in
Sagi arius. I feel like I see my daughter all the way down to her spirit and it’s hard for me to be
angry when I can see her in that light.

By: Janice on June 8, 2010

at 1:57 pm

Reply

Speaking as an Aries Moon, there are positive Mars-like qualities as well. A mother who fosters
independence, spunk, and initiative, not being all that fond of the traditional roles assigned to
women. Donna

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By: Donna Cunningham on June 8, 2010

at 4:15 pm

Reply

OOOh! STRONG dislike of traditional roles assigned to women or narrow-minded

stereotypes that define us. But listen to this, I work full time, plus I enjoy cleaning my home
and I love cooking dinner for my family. I think these tasks can be done with great style and
shouldn’t be looked at as ordinary or unimportant. There is no substitute for a home made
with love and care.

By: Janice on June 8, 2010

at 6:05 pm

I have an Aquarius Moon. Both of my daughters have Sagi arius Moon conjunct Pluto. They are
really philosophical and love trying new things and going places. They actually like when I make
Tofu and go to the used book stores!

My Son has Taurus Moon square mine. He is not up to trying new stuff. He wants me to take him
to the mall and buy him nice things, cook him grand meals, and snuggle on the couch—I’m an
Aquarius moon though!

By: urania7 on June 15, 2010

at 10:07 am

Reply

I have a cancer moon. I dislike the fact that I carry grudges and brood about slights forever! I am
working to change that about myself, but it is so hard.

It doesn’t help that my moon from the ninth house squares mercury and widely venus, both in
Libra in the twelfth. (Libra rising)
Self-undoing, indeed!

By: delphinium on July 7, 2010

at 1:01 pm

Reply

Me, too, Delphinium, I can cry at the drop of a hat, but I can cry about beautiful and spiritual
things as much as anything bad. Of course it alarms people, and then I have to make THEM feel
be er. Now I just explain that I leak easy and it doesn’t mean much of anything. Donna

By: Donna Cunningham on July 7, 2010

at 2:07 pm

Reply

I have a libra moon, and anytime there is the slightest hint of conflict or tension, I flee, often
literally(3rd house moon). At least, thats what I used to do. Although I’m a sun sign aquarius, my
moon really does no tlike to shake things up in any way. I cringe at the thought of upse ing
people. It makes me really sort of quiet and softspoken, the moon in libra. Because I am rather
concerned with being nice and making OTHER people feel comfortable, I think I’m afraid of being
“not nice” by expressing myself. If I appear too happy/confident then I’ll be taking that away from
everyone else.

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Like delphinium I have a square from mercury, and from saturn and the north node all conjunct in
capricorn. (6th house) and chiron in cancer in the 12th house.

You know what my worst habit is? Since as far back I can remember I have always felt.. no,
WALLOWED in self-pity thinking, “I am so plain and boring”. This is what I’ve been telling myself
for years, I complain about it to myself all the time, I tell my self, “why can’t I have cool style? I’m
just not special” And it goes like that everyday, I’m so COMFORTABLE pitying myself that I’ve
kept myself feeling this way for years.

I have slowly been awakening to this habit of mine but I haven’t put it all together until now. But in
the last few months I have been trying to replace everybad thought I have with a positive thought,
and a positive action. I reallyyy don’t want to hate my moon(libra lol) but I must say it is probably
my least favorite out of my chirt, just because all of its issues. Oh well, I suppose life would be
really boring if I didn’t have something to fix.

By: vah on July 8, 2010

at 9:26 pm

Reply

It’s great that you’re working on it. When we get to the point where we get on our own nerves
with a bad habit, that’s when we start working to get rid of it. One of the articles on the list for
this post is about emotional habits–might be helpful. Donna

By: Donna Cunningham on July 9, 2010

at 2:25 am

Reply

hello, what is a moon in scorpio like> i keep brosing, but not always find all articles in order, so not
sure how to browse thanks..

By: Corinne on March 18, 2011

at 11:15 pm

Reply

Hi, Corrine. Use the search engine here. Or download the index of articles by topic on the free
page. Donna

By: Donna Cunningham on March 19, 2011

at 5:52 am

Reply

It would be interesting to explore the more positive emotional habits of moon signs as well.

By: Ne on December 21, 2013

at 3:58 am

Reply

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