Bodyok : Adornado on the rebound …pass to Bondying: Maaaammmaaa ! I’m late again!

He’ll
Philip Cesar ordre me again to squat in front of the flagpole.
Hey, you’re all here. Have you been there long ?
Has our teacher arrived yet? That skinny, dark NingNing: Oh no, you won’t. Teacher is not yet
man who looks like a corpose? here. Come…
Aha , he’s not yet here . Good , there’s plenty of Bondying: Maaammmaaaa!
time to play!
Kiko arrives, reading a book . Bodyok: Hey, you …. Come out of there. No
body’s going to punish you.
Kiko : Here we go again .
Bodyok : Come over and play with us. Basketball
Bodyok : Revilla now comes in . is such fun!
Kiko: Oy, bodyok, you should be reviewing Bondying: Maaaammmaaaa!
today’s lesson . Or else nobody will be able to
answer the day’s drill and our teacher will flare Bodyok: Why are you so scared?
up again .
Bondying : So many people.
Bodyok : Man to man … Bodyok versus Revilla ..
Bodyok: People? It’s only us here.
Kiko: That’s not fair .
Bondying: Only us?
Bodyok: Bodyok on the double .
Kiko: Right, there’s nobody else around here.
Kiko: I’m in! Pass me the ball.
Bondying: Really?
NingNing : Good morning, Mister Tuk … Ay,
NingNing: Yes, truly. Cross my heart.
teacher is not here yet.
Bodyok: So, come…
Kiko: Join us, NingNing .
Bondying: Okay, you swear?
Ningning: No, no, teacher will be coming any
moment . Bondying: Maaaaammmaaaa! You fooled me.
Look there, there’s plenty of people.
Kiko: it’s Monday . I’m sure he’ll be late. Aren’t
you used to him yet? NingNing: Ah, them. Don’t be afraid of them.
They won’t harm you. They’re nice.
Bodyok : Ladies and gentlemen, Mon Fernandez
now comes in … Bodyok passes the ball to Bondying: But who are they?
Fernandez … uuuupss!
Bodyok: People.
NingNing: Yeheyyyy!
Bondying: What kind of people?
Bondying : Maaaaaammmaaaa!
Kiko: They’re nice people.
Bodyok: Hey, come back here.
Bondying: Will they order me to squat in front
of the flagpole?
NingNing: No, they won’t.
Bondying: Will they order me to write my name
properly one thousand times?
Kiko: No.
Bondying: they might throw the eraser at me.
Bodyok: Of course they won’t throw the eraser
at you. They’re not like our teacher Mr. Tuko.
Bodyok: Have you seen Mr. Tuko ?
Kiko: Come now and don’t be scared.
Ningning: Come with me, my dear.
Bondying: Hoy, are you really nice like me?
Kiko: My goodness, what is it this time ?
Bondying: Why are they laughing?
Ningning: E, Because they are fond of you . They
would like you to be their friend.
Bondying: I must have said something wrong. I
think they’re making fun of me.
Bodyok: They’re not making fun of you. I told
you they’re our friends.
Ningning: Come, come with me, my dear
bondying. I know you’ll enjoy our game.
Bondying: I’ll stay here. I’m shy.
Bodyok: You have go to there. Our classroom is
right there.
Bondying: I want to stay right here.
Bodyok: I told you to go right there!
Bondying: But why there?
Bodyok: E, because…
NingNing: Because our basketball court is over
there.
Bondying: A, I see
Ningning: O, come now and join our game.
Okay, the game continues. Bodyok, pass the ball
the Bondying.
Bodyok : Aaaaaand Guidaben enters the hard-
court. He gets the ball… attempt.. and make it!
Mr.Tuko: foul! Ehe! What is the meaning of this
rumble very early in the morning?
Pufils: Good morninggg. Misterrrr Tukooooo.
Mr.Tuko: Gooood morningggg. Misterrr
tuuuuko. Say it Properly.
Pupils: Gooood morninnng misterrrr
tuuuukkkoooo.
Mr.Tuko: verrry goooddd, classs! Now sit down
Properly, chest out , stomach in and put your
hands on your desk for inspection.
Ningning: Sir..
Mr.Tuko: why are you hands so black? Are
those the hands of a lady ?
Ningning: Sir, in had to wash the cooking pan
this morning.
Mr.Tuko: I don’t care. You always had to keep
your Hands clean so that they will be good to
see.
Ningning: Yes, sir.
Mr.Tuko: Oh my God! What are these?
Bodyok: These sir? These are dead fingernails.
Mr.Tuko: Dead fingernails!
Bodyok: They where hit by a hammer. Sir.
Mr.Tuko: Your like a creatures of a jungle.
Children, remember, your hands reflect your
personality. You should always see to it that
they are net and presentable. Imagine if you
shake your hands with the decent people. Now
Everybody, show me your teeth. My goodness,
Bondying, what is that monster in your teeth?
Bondying: Particles, Sir.
Mr.Tuko: You did not brush your teeth again.
Bondying: Ran of toothpaste, sir.
Mr.Tuko: What a shame! What will people say?
Your teacher doesn’t teach you a proper
hygiene.
Bondying: I don’t like gin I get tipsy.
Mr.Tuko: Idiot! I said hygiene that means
proper care of the body and sou. My goodness.
When will ever learn? Do I have things over and
over again?
Kiko: Oh, no, no, sir.
Mr.Tuko: Then you to change your bad habits.
Pupils: Yes, Mr. Tuko.
Pupils: Yes Mr. Tuko, and yes mr.Tuko… my
goooodnessss okey! Okey! Let us begin the day.
Pupils: Today is Monday, Monday is happy day ,
Everything is nice , exceptyouu!
Mr.Tuko: Again! Repeat the last two lines.
Pupils: Everything is nice because of you.
Mr.Tuko: Thank you. Now I love my country.
Pupils: I love my country> Philippines, my
Philippines. Pearl of the orient and paradise of
the east.
Mr.Tuko: What is your national language?
Pupils: Our national is Filipino. Filipino is a
beautiful Language. It is like a poem. It is like a
song. It is my favourite of them all.
Mr.Tuko: And what is our national flower?
Pupils: Our national flower is sampaguita. It is
the symbol of the Filipina. Very clean, Very
white, very fragrant like an innocent Filipina.
Mr.Tuko: and who is our national hero ?
Bondying!
Bondying: Sir…
Mr.Tuko: I said who is our national hero?
Bondying: E, e Sir..
Mr.TUko: answer my question!
Bodyok: Bogs Adornado.
Bondying: Sir ..
Mr. Tuk: yes… Bondying
Bondying: Adornado, sir.
Mr. Tuko: who is Adornado?
Bondying: Toyota player, sir.
Mr. Tuko: He is with Crispa, idiot! Ehe! What are
we talking about?
Bondying: maaaammmmmaaa! Sir, I beg you
please… I already finished three long pencils
writing thounsands of names.
Mr. Tuko: Then do not forget your lessons. Plant
this in your brains… our national hero…
Mr Tuko: Is… Bodyok: our national game is jueteng.

Bondying: Doctor… Mr. Tuko: don’t make me foolish! Or I’ll give you
zero in the recitation.
Mr. Tuko: Jose…
Bodyok: sir, our national game is sipa, bit
Bondying: Jose… nobody plays that game, a.
Mr. Tuko: Rizal… Mr. Tuko: then we have to learn it. In order to
Bondying: Rizal… progress we have to study hard. And why do
you think Filipinos are poor? It is vecause we
Mr. Tuko: Now repeat. don’t appreciate the value of education and the
importance of discipline. That’s why I’m
Bondying: our national hero… is...is… Sir…,
teaching you novel traits-partriotism and love of
please repeat.
my country.
Mr. Tuko: These idiots! You are driving me sick!
Bondying approaches Mr. Tuko
Doctor Rizal!
Bondying: sir…
Bondying: Dr. Jose Rizal
Mr. Tuko: Don’t trick me, I know you have done
Mr. Tuko: Again!
one thousand. I know it, you can’t fool me.
Bondying: Doctor Jose Rizal
Bondying: No, sir I haven’t done one thousand.
Mr. Tukko: Again! Because I don’t know what’s the next to
twenty-seven.
Bondying: Dr. Jose Rizal
Mr. Tuko: What a shame! You don’t even know
Mr. Tukko: Again! how to count. How are going to survive in this
world?
Bondying: Dr. Jose Rizal
Bondying: When I grow up! I will buy a
Mr. Tuko: now go to the corner and recite it one
calculator, sir.
thousand times.
Mr. Tuko: idiot! You cannot count with a
Bondying: One thousand times!
calculator! You can only divide and
Mmmmmmaaaaammmmmmmmaaaaa, that’s
multiply…Kiko…
too many sir.
Kiko: yes, Kiko.
Mr. Tuko: you write instead
Mr. Tuko: you count for Bondying. See to it that
Bondying: I’ll recite it, sir!. One thouasand
he doesn’t cheat.
times, mmmmmaaaaammmm!
Kiko: Yes, sir.
Mr. Turko: And don’t you cheat me… okay, ley
us continue. Bonyok, what is your national Mr. Tuko: Now, where was I?
game?\
Ningning: Patriotism, sir.
Mr. Tuko: oh yes, patriotism. The noblest of all
virtues. You, you are the hope if the
motherland. In the future you will rise up to
become the pillars of this society. And when
you are already in the top, when you have
reached the peak of success, you will look back
and recall you school days. You will remember
me, you will remember my words. And then
you will say to yourselves, yes, Mr. Tuko, you
were right.
Bondying: Sir, I’m finished.
Mr. Tuko: Finished! You must have cheated!
Kiko, did you count well.
Kiko: Yes, sir.
Mr. Tuko: Really?
Bondying: Hes, sir. Really.
Mr Tuko: I must be carried away by my
nationalist feeling. You see class, whenever I
speak of my country, I lose my sense of time.
Bodyok: You are lie a congressmane.
Mr. Tuko: What did you say?
Bodyok: I said, sir you are very brave like
superman.
Mr. Tuko: Oh please don’t mention it… now let’
go back in our business… and so class what’s the
motto of our section? Say it loud and clear.
Pupils: Cleanliness is next to godliness.
Mr. Tuko: and what is colour of our section?
Pupils: Blue! Like the colour of the sky. Always
clean and always high!
Mr Tuko: Very good class! Before we start our
first for today, I want you to write the following
thing in your notebook.
Bodyok: Sir, I don’t have a pencil.
Mr. Tuko: You don’t have a pencil! You are like a
soldier going to a battle without a gun.\
Bodyok: But I have a gun, sir! Bang-bang-bang!
Mr. Tuko: idiot! What I mean s you should bring
your pencil everyday. Who has an extra pencil?
Ningning: Me, sir!
Mr. Lend it to Bodyok before my blood pressure
shoots out again.
Ningning: yes, sir! Don’t use up my erase. Ha?
Mr. Tuko: You are going bring these things
tomorrow: drawing board, colored paper, crepe
paper, scissors and paste, I am going to expect
these tomorrow, so better not forget.
Bodyok: Sir, why do we have to bring these
things?
Mr. Tuko: Because we are going to make paper
and paper flags, we will make a Philippine flag,
American flags, Japanese flags.
Kiko: we are going to study flags. Sir?
Mr. Tuko: No. we are going to airport
tomorrow. Some special guests from abroad are
coming and we are going to meet them and
demonstrate Philippine hospitality.
Bondying: Are they balikabayan, sir?
Mr. Tuko: No, they’re distinguished
personalities. Emperor Bakerone and the
world’s famous organist Uban Sideburn.
Imagine that, class; such distinguished people
will he stepping on Philippine soil! So don’t
forget to bring your materials tomorrow .
Bondying: Sir, my mother will get upset again,
She says all these art materials are so expensive
these days.
Mr. Tuko: Tell your mother dead tha is for the
glory of our country. Just imagine, if they are
treated to people. So tomorrow, your clothes
have to be sparking white, iron pants, shine
your shoes, comb you hair, cut your fingernails.
And please… brush your teeth! I don’t want to
see anybody smiling with yellow teeth!
Bodyok: Sir, can I be absent at the airport
tomorrow? I have to battle our carabao in the
morning.
Mr. Tuko: Me too, I have to wash plenty of
dishes.
Bondiyng: I have to scrub our floor.
Kiko: I have to gather feed for our pigs.
Mr. Tuko: that is an oder from the district
superintendent What is the more important to
you, hog’s feed or the pride of the Filipino race?
Kiko: Hog’s feed, sir.
Mr. Tuko: Kiko, what’s happening to you, you
are becoming stupid like them? Watch out;
remember that you are in the honor list.
Kiko: You see sir…
Mr. Tuko: I will not entertain any more
questions. Someday, when you have grown up,
you will finally understand the importance of all
these things what we are doing in school. And
then they will say to you…
Pupils: Yes, Mr. Tuko, you are right.
Mr. Tuko: Very good! And enough with all your
complaints. Now we shall begin out first lesson
for today. We are going in the world never see…
The World of LITERATURE! Now, everybody, say
literature…
Pupils: literatyoooorrr…
Mr.Tuko: No! no! No! Let it side out of your lips
like a beautiful waterfall.. Say
LITRAYYYYYTUUUREE.
Pupils: Litreyyyyyyooorr..
Mr.Tuko: Be graceful! Like a swan on a lake!
LITRAYYYTUUUURREEE.
Pupils: Literayyyytyuurr.
Mr.Tuko: How wonderful! How musical! Now,
Bring out your homework. Kiko, What did I tell
you to bring to class?
Kiko: Sir, you told us to bring a poem about
love.
Mr.Tuko: Yes! Love! The greatest wonder of the
world NingNing.
NingNing: Yes, sir..
Mr.Tuko: Read to us your poem love.
Ningning: Yes, sir.
Mr.Tuko: Read it with full emotion. And with
action. Ha,
Ningning: Yes, Sir
Mr.Tuko: My goodness, what was that?
Ningning: My homework sir, It was taught to
me by mygrandmother.
Mr.Tuko: I told you to read a poem on love.
Why did you deliver a speech?
Ningning: Aba, sir, my grandmother sad it was a
great poem. From Francisco Baltazar’s Florante
at Laura.
Mr.Tuko: Florante at laura! Balagtas! Our lesson
is literature, not Filipino.
Kiko: why sir? Are Filipino writings are not part
of literature.
Mr.Tuko: Kiko! Are you trying to question my
thirty-two years teaching experience in this
academic institution?
Kiko: No sir.
Mr.Tuko: Well, what are trying to prove to your
question?
Kiko: N-nothing sir.
Bodyok: Why, sir is it wrong to ask question?
Mr.Tuko: I am trying to say it is wrong to ask
question!
Bodyok: E. why are upset?
Mr.Tuko: No, I’m not upset. I was just
explaining.
Pupils: Aaaahhhh…
Ningning: How is this sir, shall I tell my
grandmother that Florante at Laura is not
literature? Oh, dear, to think that my
grandmother is a relative of Balagtas.
Mr.Tuko: No! no! no! What I mean to say by
literature is a world of literature. Like the work
of the greatest of them all, William
Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet! Have you even
heard it? I’m sure you haven’t Oh. It brings back
the memory of my college days when I acted
out the role of Romeo. They were at the
balcony, by the light of the moon Romeo swore
to Juliet…
Mr. Tuko acts out the scene, playing both
Romeo and Juliet will reply..“ o, swear not by
the moon, the inconstant moon.
[Romeo]: what shall I swear by?
[Juliet]: do not swear at all. Although I joy in
thee, I have no joy of this contract; it is too rash,
too unadvised, and too sudden. Goodnight…
good night…
[Romeo]: the exchange of thy love’s faithful
vow for mine.
[Juliet]: I gave thee mine before thou didst
request it.
[Romeo]: My sweet…
[Juliet]: Good night, good night
Parting is such a sweet sorrow
That I shall say goodnight till it be
tomorrow.
[Romeo]: Goodbye. My sweet Juliet..
[Juliet]: Goodbye. My sweet Romeo.
Pupils: Goodbye Mr.Tuko.
Mr.Tuko: Goodbye my little… waits! And where
do you think you are going?
Bodyok: You said goodbye, so let’s go home!
Mr.Tuko: Oh my goodness, I was just enjoying
acting out a scene from the classic Romeo and
Juliet for your enjoyment.
Ningning: Pardon me, sir we are not really
enjoying your drama.
Mr.Tuko: It is because you did not understand
Shakespeare.
Bodyok: If we don’t understand, sir, let’s us all
go home. I still heve to bathe my carabao.
Ningning: I have to wash plenty if dishes.
Bondying: I have to scrub the floor.
Kiko: I have to gather hog’s feed.
Mr.Tuko: Stop that foolishness! You are
supposed to stay in classroom from seven-thirty
in the morning until three o’clock in the
afternoon!
Bodyok: If we refuse, sir.
Mr.Tuko: Nobody is authorized to refuse in this
classroom. If you cannot understand
Shakespeare, I will teach you how to
understand him. How did you think I got to this
honourable position? I studied hard hard. I
burned the midnight oil. And that’s why I am
trying hard to raise you as responsible citizens
of this nation. I work hard all my walking hours
to provide you with the best education.
Bodyok: But sir, I saw you the other night
serving food at Aristocrast’s in cubao.
Mr.Tuko: Oh my god! Me, a waiter! You must
be mistaken, child. Don’t you know that every
single night I lose sleep and spend hours
preparing my daily lesson plan?
Kiko: Sir, my elder brother told me the lessons
you teach are exactly the same lessons you
taught this class twelve years ago.
Mr.Tuko: Because there are lessons that are
golden. They never lose their brilliance and so
should be handed down from generation to
generation.
Bondying: Well. Dir I just ask my elder brother
to be my teacher.
Mr.Tuko: Oh and will your elder brother be able
to give you a diploma? No! And without a
diploma, you are nobody in the society. That is
why you have no choice but to stay in this
building. You are all prisoners in this institution.
Bondying: Prisoner, sir? Maaammmaaa. I don’t
want to die in an electric chair.
Bodyok: Idiot! Don’t be afraid. It we are
prisoners, then we can plan for an escape.
Bondying: MMaaaammmaaa. I can’t climb a
wall…
Bodyok: You are so stupid. We are not climbing
any wall.
Mr.Tuko: What is the whispering going there?
Bondying! Bonyok?
Bondying: Maaaammmmaaa..
Bodyok: Nothing, sir. Bondying is just asking
something about Shakespeare.
Mr.Tuko: You see, you are starting to ask
questions about Shakespeare. Don’t worry
children, we are going to take up Shakespeare
again tomorrow…
Pupils: Ayyyy…
Mr.Tuko: I am sure you still cannot appropriate
the value of literature in human existence, but
as you grow up you will soon understand. And
then you will say to yourselves…
Pupils: Yes, Mr Tuko, you were right.
Mr. Tuko: Very good class. And now let us go
our next lesson for today. The study of the past
that will bring us to glorious gates of tomorrow,
The study of progress of mankind, And what do
you call this subject. Bondying?
BondyingL Maaammmmaaa… M-me, sir?
Mr. Tuko: yes, you.
Bondying: Couldn’t be.
Ningning: Then who?
Bondying: I think number one stole the cookie
the from the cookie jar!
Kiko: Who me?
Ningning: Then who?
Bodyok: I think number two stole the cookie
from the cookie jar!
Mr. Tuko: Quieeet! What is this foolishness? I
am asking, you ask me too. Where are we, in
Manila Zoo?
Bondying: Yes, sir. Let’s go Manila Zoo!
Mr. Tuko: Shut your big mouth and listen to the
question. What is our lesson for today?
Bondying: Ummmmmphhhh…
Mr. Tuko: Open your mouth answer me, idiot!
Bondying: sir, our lesson for today is…is…isss
Bodyok: Aritmitik..
Bondying: Aritmitik
Mr. Tuko: Wrong!. And that means minus ten
points in recitation. You are challenging me,
then you will see.
Bondying: But, sir.
Mr. Tuko: if you have any complaints, you see
me after class.
Bondying: Maaaaamaaaaaa…
Mr. Tuko: Now going back to the question
Ningning: Sir!
Mr. Tuko: Oh yes, my dead Ningning
Ningning: May I go out, sir?
Mr tuko: There is nothing funny! Recess is the
time to go out to the cokfort room. And you
better keep that in mind, Now, where are we?
Bodyok: Comfort room, sir!
Mr. Tuko: Quieeeeeet! Bodyok, you will see
what are you looking for when I give out your
report cards at the end of the school year.
Bodyok: Sir, I’ve seen it already. That hole in
your armpit.
Mr. Tuko: I said quiet! C’mon laugh, laugh,
everybody.
Pupils: control their laughter. As soon as the
teacher turns his back laughter breaks out Then
he turns around and laughter dies. The game in
until MR TUKO delivers a final warning. Silence.
Mr. Tuko: Now, where was I? Oh yes, I was
asking you a question.
KikoL what is our next lesson for today, sir?
Mr. Tuko: Okay, answer me now, What is our
next lesson for today?
Kiko: Our nest lesson for today is History.
Mr. Tuko: Very good, Kiko. For the brilliant
answer, I give you ten points.
Bondying: But, sir.
Mr. Tuko: And so class, our next lesson for
today is History. Let us move back the hands to
time and study the discovery of the Philippines
by Ferdinand Magellan. It was March 16, 1521
when the great white men landed on our pagan
shores to bring civilization and Christianity to
God-forsaken land. Unfortunately, Magellan
was killed by the vicious tribe of Lapu-Lapu in
Mactan.
Bodyok: C’mon
Kiko: He’s going to be mad again…
Bodyok: I’ll take care of him. Ready, everybody.
Mr Tuko: Stop talking over there. In a little
while, I will be giving an exam, fill in the blanks.
I am warning you.
Bodyon: We are listening, sir. And Kiko has
something to say.
Mr. Tuko: what is it, my dead Kiko?
Kiko: E,s-sir.
Mr Tuko: Speak up! You are in a democratic
country and you have the right to say what you
want to say by virtue by Paragraph 3 Article of
the Constitution.
Bodyok: He’s nervous, sir…
Mr. Tuko: My goodness, you are an honor
student I so act like one.
Kiko: E, sir, I read a history book. And according
the book, the events did not happen that way
you told us.
Mr. Tuko: Really, wow? And what was it you
read in the book? C’mon, tell me so I can have it
corrected.
Kiko: We will just show you sir.
Mr Tuko: Show? Me?
Bodyok: Yes sir and you better watch carefully.
Mr. Tuko: What os the foolishness again?
Bodyok: Aba, this is not foolishness, sir. Kiko did
some research at the National Library.
Kiko: B-bodyok…
Bodyok: Don’t worry, this is a democratic
country didn’t he just say no?
Kiko: But…
Bodyok: Paragraph 3, Article 4!
Kiko: What if…….
Bodyok: I’ll take care of everything.
Mr. Tuko: O, where’s the show? Are you playing
games with me?
Bodyok: we are ready, sir. Action!
Mr: Tuko Oh, so Ningning, you are also part of
this.
Ningning: Well, you didn’t like a Balagtas, e.
Mr. Tuko: Oh, and you too, Bondying, ha.
Bondying: Maaaaammmmmmmaaaa…. Just a
small role, sir.
Mr. TUko: Well, on with your show and let’s not
waste too much time. My goodness, time is
gold!
Kiko: Once upon a time, before the coming of
Magellan, the Philippines was proud of the
civilization. Filipinos were not very rich, but they
were happy. Because they had everything. They
owned mountains and rivers and seas. They
owned all the fishes, and birds, and pearls and
gold and every animal in the forests.
[Humabon]: Very good. I give you present.
Here…
[Asawa]: What isw this?
[Humabon]:for you to keep your betel nuts.
[Asawa]: The drawings, very beautiful.
[Humabon]: Now, I offer you a poem…
If I were a boat, you are a river
If I were a bird, you are nest
If I were the sun, you are clouds
Because I love you so much.
Kiko: Before Magellan came, we had our own
writing.
[Humabon]: Asawa! Asawa!
[Asawa]: Yes, Humabon!
[Humabon]: I received leaf.
[Asawa]: I use for betel nut?
[Humabon]: NO. This is telegram from far away.
[Asawa]: what does it say?
[Humabon]: Spaniards coming. You prepare.
[Asawa]: Spaniards come when?
[Humabon]: leaf says. Soon. Don’t be surprised.
[Magellan]: Viva, España!
[Humabon]: Who you?
[Magellan]: My name, Ferdinand Magellan.
[Asawa]: You Spaniards?
[Magellan]: Yes, a Spanish wimp.
[Humabon]: Why you come here?
[Magellan]: I bring Christianity. Because you go
to heaven, if you get baptism.
[Lapu-lapu]: They lie! They take away our land,
sea, women, pearls, garlic onions… They make
us slaves!
[Magellan]: I am Devil. I am good person. Give
you gifts, combs, buttons, pins, and a Sto. Niño.
[Asawa]: I like gifts.
[Humabon]: We agree baptism.
[laup-lapu]: I disagree!
[Magellan]: Long live Spain!
[Lapu-Lapu]: Love life Philippines! Let us
celebrate!
Mr. Tuko: Stooooop! Stop this foolishness!
Kiko: But sir, this is not foolish. I worked hard on
this research.
Mr. Tuko: Well, from what books did you pick
all this garbage?
Kiko: From the books of Agoncillo and
Constantino.
Mr. Tuko: Agoncillo? Constantino?
Kiko: They are number one today in History.
Bodyok: You seem sir. You haven’t even read
their books. Kiko knows more than you do.
Mr. Tuko: Of course, I have read Agoncillo and
Constantino. What do you think of me? I have
read all those books when I was in college.
Kiko: Sir, these books were published only
recently.
Mr. Tuko: It must be another book I am talking.
I get so confused with so many books I have
read.
Bodyok: Well, If you have read these books why
you didn’t you use them for our lessons?
Mr. Tuko: B-because…..because.
Ningning: Ay, he cannot answer.
Bondying: He doesn’t know what to say, ay.
Bodyok: C’mon, better admit you have not read
them at all, sir. You’re pulling out leg.
Pupils: What a shame! What a shame!
Mr. Tuko: This is too much! You have no right
to talk to me like that!
Kiko: But sir…
Mr. Tuko: And you, Kiko, for your foolishness, I
am striking out your name from the honor list!
Kiko: But why, sir, there’s nothing with my
research, ah.
Mr. Tuko: Shut up!
Bodyok: You cannot me up! We are in a
democratic country! Paragraph 3, Article 4 of
the Constitution!
Mr. Tuko: Well then, by virtue of Section 2,
Paragraph 3 Article 7, in the case of emergency,
I hereby declare Martial Law! This is too much!
You dumbbells!
Bondying: Maaaaammmmaaa… what does it
mean?
Ningning: Here’s really mad now.
Kiko: I am no longer in the honor list.
Bodying: we are real prisoners now.
Bodyok: Don’t be scared. We can beat him. Just
like what we did a while ago.
Ningning: But he’s going to flunk all of us.
Kiko: Flunk? Waaaah…
Bondying: My mother will kill me.
Bondying: We are not going flunk. We will find a
way.
Mr. Tuko: Stop that whispering and if you have
anything to say, say it right now.
Pupils: None, sir…..
Mr. Tuko: Companyyyy,,, Teenshuuun! Well,
well, well… It seems everything is back to order.
Now let us move on peacefully to our next
lesson. And our next lesson is Health and
Science. We are going to study the differebt
parts of the human body. We are going to study
ehem so will learn how to take care and use
them properly. For example, what part of the
body do you use for reading? Ningning……….
Ningning: Sir, eyes, sir.
Mr. Tuko: Very good! Eyes for reading. And
what do you use to listen to the good words of
your teacher? Kiko…
Mr. Tuko: Very good. Ears for listening. And
what do you use to write the great lessons you
learn from your teacher? Bondying…
Bondying: Sir?
Mr. Tuko: I said what do you use for writing?
Bondying: Sir, Pencil, sir.
Mr. Tuko: You are hopeless idiot! I mean what
you use with you pencil?
Bondying: My hands of course. That’s what you
get from speaking English to us.
Mr. Tuko: What did you say?
Bondying: I said sir, hands are also use for
cleaning.
Mr. Tuko: Oh, Bondying is improving at last. You
see, class, you may not realize it now, but you
are leaning a lot in the classroom. But someday,
you will say in yourselves.
Pupils: Yes, Mr. Tuko, you were right.
Mr. Tuko: Oh, my little angels! To continue with
our lesson, we are going to study our bodies in
front of the mirror, Bondying…
Bondying: yes, sir…
Mr. Tuko: Get my mirror outside and bring it
here.
Bondying: Yes, sir.
Mr. Tuko: Be very careful, I don’t like it
scratched. It’s a very expensive mirror I
inherited from my grandmother.
Bondying: Yes, sir , I’ll take care of it.
Mr. Tuko: And while we are waiting for the
mirror, bring out your paper and your pencil
and copy every word I write on the blackboard.
Bodyok: I don’t have paper sir
Mr. Tuko: You don’t have paper! Bodyok. You
are like a fisherman going to the sea without a
paddle.
Bodyok: But I have mammon
Ningning: Ay, give me some
Mr. Tuko: Eating is not allowed in this
classroom. This is a school and not a picnic
ground.
Bodyok: You don’t want mammon sir?
Mr. Tuko: No, thank you. I might break my
tooth. Ehe! Keep those mammon or I will
confiscate them!
Bodyok: Yes, sir
Mr. Tuko: After copying start memorizing word
for word.
Bondying: Maaaaaammmaaa….
Kiko: Bondying …….
Ningning: He broke it
Mr. Tuko: What was that crash I heard?
Kiko and Ningning: eh……
Bodyok: Kiko, sir he licked his desk.
Mr. Tuko: Kiko you have anything against me?
Kiko: Oh no, sir, no.
Mr. Tuko: If you have any gripes against me, say
it my face.
Kiko: None, sir.
Mr. Tuko: and you have any complaints
Bodyok and Ningning: None, sir.
Mr. Tuko: Are you mad at me?
Pupils: None, sir
Mr. Tuko: Any bad feelings?
Pupils: None, sir
Mr. Tuko: Well, that’s good. Better finish your
work so we can proceed with the next lesson.
Bondying: help…… the mirror is broken….
Mmmmmmmaaaaammmmmaaaa.
Kiko: You idiot! Why did you break it
Bondying: eh it slipped from my hand. It’s not
my fault. It was so big and so heavy.
Bodyok: You should have asked for help
Kiko: Our teacher will kill you
Bondying: Maaaammaaaaaa.
Ningning: Oh please! Let’s not blame him
anymore. Let’s help him is there anything we
can do?
Bodyok: I have an idea
Kiko: Oh no! That must be another crazy idea
you have in mind.
Bodyok: C’mon you haven’t even heard it yet.
Ningning: Bodyok ha you might get us into
trouble
Bodyok: Hey kids! Do you want us to help
Bondying or not?
Bondying: Please have pity on me.
Kiko and Ningning: Well of course.
Bodyok: Ok then listen to my plan
Kiko: eh…..
Bodyok: Trust me! This is what will do…..
Kiko: You’ll take care of everything, ok?
Bodyok: Yes, I will.
Ningning: I’m scared Bodyok
Bodyok: We can do it, Oh Bondiyng better hide
now
Bondying: Maaaaaammmmaaaa….. What if he
finds out..
Bodyok: You want to be punished?
Bondying: No I’ll go in hide
Mr. Tuko: Ok, class everybody finished?
Ningning: Not yet sir.
Mr. Tuko: Hurry up! Hurry up! I will count from
1 to 10 at the count of 10 you should all be
finished. 1 little 2 little 3 little Indians 4 little 5
little 6 little Indians 7 little 8 little 9 little Indians
10 little Indian boys… times up, My dear little
Indians! Keep your papers and pencils as you
get home this afternoon, memorize everything
you copied. And tomorrow, 1 by 1 you will
recite from memory every single word you
copied from the board
Ningning: But sir! I have to wash plenty of
dishes
Bodyok: I have to bathe my carabao
Kiko and Mr. Tuko: I had to gather feed for our
pigs!
Mr. Tuko: Enough with your excuses! If you are
interested to learn, you can bathe your carabao,
wash the dishes and gather feed for your pigs
while memorizing your lessons. It’s just a matter
of using your common sense.
Bodyok: Sir, is that something we can eat?
Mr. Tuko: Idiot! By common sense I
mean…..sentido cumon in other words, the
harmony of brain particles with the physical
assets of the human body in the first suit of
goals and objectives within the reach man. In
tagalog gamitin niyo naman ang kukote niyo
paminsan minsan.
Budyok: I haven’t finish copying sir
Mr. Tuko: If there’s a will there’s a way. So
that’s you problem. By the way Kiko…
Kiko: Sir
Mr. Tuko: During our break tell Bondying to
copy from you notes.
Kiko: yes, sir
Mr. Tuko: But where is Bondying? And where is
my antique mirror?
Bodyok: Who sir?
Mr. Tuko: Bondying ask him to get my mirror.
How come he’s not yet here?
Kiko: Bondying sir?
Mr. Tuko: yes, Bondiyng. Do I have to say again
and again?
Bodyok: but sir, Bondying is right here ah.
Mr. Tuko: What did you say?
Bodyok: Bondying is right here. Do I have to say
it again and again?
Mr. Tuko: Are fooling me again Bodyok?
Bodyok: My goodness, I was just answering your
question.
Mr. Tuko: Ningning, do you see what Bodyok is
pointing at?
Ningning: Yes sir.
Mr. Tuko: And what is this rascal pointing at?
Ningning: Bondying holding a mirror.
Mr. Tuko: Ningning I am warning you don’t get
yourself involved with this foolishness!
Ningning: foolishness sir?
Mr. Tuko: Kiko my dear….
Kiko: yes, Mr. Tuko
Mr. Tuko: What do you see? Tell me.
Kiko: Sir….
Mr. Tuko: you don’t see anything
Kiko: There’s something sir
Mr. Tuko: and what is it?
Kiko: Bondying sir holding your mirror.
Mr. Tuko: Oh no! What is happening to me!
What can’t I see him? You’re puling my leg.
Pupils: No sir,
Mr. Tuko: Then why I can’t see him? This could
be the effect of my moon lightning in Cubao…
Budyok: What was it sir?
Mr. Tuko: I said something must be wrong with
my eye glasses.
Bodyok: That was also my guest sir maybe your
glasses need cleaning.
Ningning: I’ll do it for you sir. Give me your eye
glasses.
Mr. Tuko: Yes please Ningning clean it up well
Ningning: what grade are this glasses sir?
Mr. Tuko: nine hundred fifty
Bondying: Sir maybe your eye problem gotten
worse.
Mr. Tuko: Bondying is that you?
Bondying: Right here sir.
Mr. Tuko: Then it’s true you are here
Bondying: Can you see me now?
Mr. Tuko: yes, but not so clear. Where is my
antique mirror.
Bondying: Right here sir.
Mr. Tuko: Oh yes. It’s here. Why I seen to look
stouter? This is strange. My hair has grown
curly. Or have any gone dimmer. Maybe also
you need some cleaning. Oh no my antique
mirror.
Bondying: Maaaaaammmmaaaaa..
Ningning: I give up.
Kiko: Let’s go home
Mr. Tuko: This is horrible! This is incredible! This
is too much! You will pay for my grandmother’s
antique mirror, my past, my heritage, my roots!
It is broken!
Bodyok: we can still glue it together sir. We will
be epoxy.
Mr. Tuko: It is broken forever and you will
answer for this crime. If your parents failed to
teach you discipline, then you will be forced to
lean discipline from me.
Pupils: Oh noooooooooooo!
Bodyok: Sir, calm down. Think hard about it
before doing anything
Mr. Tuko: You, you are the leader of all this
chaos and you deserve the most cruel
punishment from Mr. Tuko!
Budyok: You better beware
Mr. Tuko: And you’re even threatening me ha?
Bodyok: You must not forget sir, the PTA
meeting will be on Monday. All our parents will
be coming. And there’s lots of things we are
going to report to the meeting.
Mr. Tuko: What are you trying to prove?
Bodyok: That you collected contributions for
our floor wax, in school will be over soon but
you haven’t even bought it yet. Remember
classmates?
Ningning: Oh yes I remember now.
Bondying: And what about that Christmas party
that never pushed through, he also hasn’t given
back our contributions.
Mr. Tuko: My God, this is blackmail this is
against the law!
Budyok: What do you mean law? Go fool you
grandfather.
Bondying: This is going to be war.
Tuko: Ah, you want war ha. Well, better be ready
because I am dropping an atomic bomb right on your
heads. I am going to flunk all of you! Kiko: If you flunk
us sir, we will fight your atomic bomb with our nuclear
bomb! We will report to the authorities that your
lesson plan is as old as the world war. And that the
books you read are as obsolete as ancient history.
Bodyok: And that is because you spend every night
minding your sideline in Cubao. Tuko: This is black
propaganda! This is rumor mongering! Liars! I am
going to cut all those lying tongues! Bodyok: We can
go and meet with the manager of Aristocrat to find out
who is really lying. Ningning: Ay, so that is why he is
always sleepy in class. Kiko: And he claims he loses
sleep because he prepares the lesson plan every
night Bondying: Ay, sir, now we know everything
Bodyok: How is that sir, once we give a report to the
PTA everybody will find out—our parents, principal,
superintendent, the guard, janitor Tuko: So you will
give report , ha.. and you think you cornered me, ha.
Bondying: Super whack! Pupils: yaaaa Tuko: Now, my
dear children, I will prove to you who’s who in this
classroom. For thirty-two long years. I was respected,
looked up to and feared in this classroom and nobody
can ever destroy this image. And I will prove to you
that I, Professor Tuko, am the Almighty Lord in this
room. And nobody but nobody can challenge my
authority! Now , my dear Ningning, give me back my
eyeglasses so things will get clearer. Ninngning: Sir..
Tuko: Give it to me. Ningning Ningning: Not here sir.
Tuko: Where is it? Ningning: it flew and landed on the
Kampupot tree! Tuko: Bodyok.. Bodyok: Not here sir
Tuko: Where is it? Bodyok: It flew and landed on the
Camachille tree! Tuko: Kiko.. Kiko: It flew and landed
on the guava tree! Tuko: Bondying.. Bondying: Not
here sir. Tuko: oh, where is my lovely bird? Bondying:
it flew and flew up above the clouds, and an angel
took it and brought it up to heaven and delivered it to
Saint Peter! Tuko: My eyeglasses! My vision! Give me
back my eyeglasses! Bodyok: Aaaanndddd ladies and
gentlemen… we’re back on the hardcourt. Jaworski
passes the ball to Revilla. Bodyok: Hitler has fallen!
Ningning: Oh, no, I want to give up. Kiko: This is real
war.
Bondying: Maaaaammmmmmmaa, Let’s all go home
Bodyok: Don’t be scared. We are approaching final
victory. Kiko: How can we ever win? He makes our
grades. Ningning: Oh dear, Let’s give back his
eyeglasses. Bondying: Ay, then his eyesight will be
clear again. Then he’ll be able to hit us with his club!
Maaaaammmmmaaaa! Bodyok: We can’t surrender
now. One final shot and then victory! Bondying: E,
what if we foul out! Bodyok: Shut up. I know what we
will do. Ningning: Oh, no. Another one of your bright
ideas, Kiko: Count me out. Bondying: Me too. I’m out.
Bodyok: So it’s quitting time. Okay, we’ll all get beaten
up to pieces. I’m sure about that. Ningning: But we
also did wrong. Bodyok: He’s the cause of all this.
Imagine, he will flunk all of us. Can you take that? It’s
such a hassle to take two. Kiko: You are right in a
way. Look at me, studying so hard, then he strikes me
out of the honor list. And if I fail, I will lose my
scholarship. Bondying: oh, yes. What a waste, my one
year baon of pandesal. Ningning: And all the pencils
and colored paper for all those flags we made.
Bodyok: So let’s go on with my plan. Quick, before he
comes. Ningning: So what’s this plan? Bondying: Will
it be hard? Bodyok: It’s so easy, we can make it.
Come here listen to me. Blub-blub-blub.. KiKo: Oh
yeah.. Ningning: You’re really great. Bondying: Let’s
do it. Quick, before he comes! Tuko: Aray ko! I must
have broken my hips! Those kids will pay for all of
these. Now, now, now my dear little children.., where
are you? You don’t need to make it hard for me. Now,
there’s no escape. Bondying: Mammmmaaa, he found
us! Tuko: Yes Bondying, I can see you well even with
my dimmed sight. Kiko: Have pity on us sir Tuko: Pity
ha! Lessons do not work on you. I used up all the
proverbs I learned. So now, you deserve nothing else
but my iron fists! Yaaaaah! Ningning: Oh, please , we
will never do it again. Tuko: Youwill never be able to
do anything again after you experience the terror of
Professor Tuko. Bodyok: Please, sir, try to understand
us. We are not against you, we are against your
system.P239 Bondying: Maaaaammmmmmmaa, Let’s
all go home Bodyok: Don’t be scared. We are
approaching final victory. Kiko: How can we ever win?
He makes our grades. Ningning: Oh dear, Let’s give
back his eyeglasses. Bondying: Ay, then his eyesight
will be clear again. Then he’ll be able to hit us with his
club! Maaaaammmmmaaaa! Bodyok: We can’t
surrender now. One final shot and then victory!
Bondying: E, what if we foul out! Bodyok: Shut up. I
know what we will do. Ningning: Oh, no. Another one
of your bright ideas, Kiko: Count me out. Bondying:
Me too. I’m out. Bodyok: So it’s quitting time. Okay,
we’ll all get beaten up to pieces. I’m sure about that.
Ningning: But we also did wrong. Bodyok: He’s the
cause of all this. Imagine, he will flunk all of us. Can
you take that? It’s such a hassle to take two. Kiko:
You are right in a way. Look at me, studying so hard,
then he strikes me out of the honor list. And if I fail, I
will lose my scholarship. Bondying: oh, yes. What a
waste, my one year baon of pandesal. Ningning: And
all the pencils and colored paper for all those flags we
made. Bodyok: So let’s go on with my plan. Quick,
before he comes. Ningning: So what’s this plan?
Bondying: Will it be hard? Bodyok: It’s so easy, we
can make it. Come here listen to me. Blub-blub-blub..
KiKo: Oh yeah.. Ningning: You’re really great.
Bondying: Let’s do it. Quick, before he comes! Tuko:
Aray ko! I must have broken my hips! Those kids will
pay for all of these. Now, now, now my dear little
children.., where are you? You don’t need to make it
hard for me. Now, there’s no escape. Bondying:
Mammmmaaa, he found us! Tuko: Yes Bondying, I
can see you well even with my dimmed sight. Kiko:
Have pity on us sir Tuko: Pity ha! Lessons do not
work on you. I used up all the proverbs I learned. So
now, you deserve nothing else but my iron fists!
Yaaaaah! Ningning: Oh, please , we will never do it
again. Tuko: Youwill never be able to do anything
again after you experience the terror of Professor
Tuko. Bodyok: Please, sir, try to understand us. We
are not against you, we are against your system.
Tuko: The system of Professor Tuko has been tested
for ages and there’s no way you can break it. Tuko:
The system of Professor Tuko has been tested for Bodyok: Of course, together we will work to change
ages and there’s no way you can break it. Instead, I the system of Professor Tuko.
will straighten out each one of you by breaking you
bad habits and this is what you
deserve……yahhhhhhhh yaaaaahhhhh
Bondying: Just one request sir Mr. tuko: What is it
bonying? Bondying: Let's not go to anymore to the
Pupils: Aaaaaaaaaaaa! Eeeeeeeeeer! Iiiiiiiiiiiii! airport.We'll be wasting so much time there.We're not
Uuuuuuuuuu! Mr tuko: Now, plead with me. ask for even related to those people we are meeting.
forgiveness. Be sorry for your sins. The power of Besides, I have to scrub our floor.
Christ compels you! Repeeeent, you sinners! The
Ningning: I had to wash plenty of dishes
devil is gone. You are now cleaned of evil spirits. Now
stand up everybody and form a straight line. We are Bodyok: I had to bathe my carabao
going to pray. I said stand up! Why are you not
moving? Move! Speak up! Tell me your complaints! Kiko: I had to gather feed for our pigs
Nag me! Hoy, what's going on? Bondying, my dear,
say something. Your mother is right here, o.... Mr. Tuko: I have to go over time at aristrocrat!
Ningning stand up. I have Mamon. Kiko, quick rise. I
am putting you back on the honor list. Bodyok, tell Bodyok: So let’s go
your classmates to stand up. Please, let's all talk. O,
there, I've put my club aside. Why are you not Mr. Tuko: I’ll get the blows from the principal and the
moving? What's going on? Oh my God. I probably district super intendent
overdid it. .... I didn't mean it, my children.I only
Bodyok: Don’t worry sir. Our parents have been
wanted to teach you a lesson. All I wanted is to be
complaining as well. Well ask them to explain or ask
devoted teacher. What will I do now? I must have
at the PTA meeting
killede them! Oh, no, what will happen to my
profession, my livelihood, the mouths I feed! Pupils:
Kiko: and sir didn’t we say we will make changes from
Sir... Mr. tuko: I must be dreaming! Ningning: No sir,
now on. So let’s begin right now let’s erase lessons
You are wide awake! Mr.tuko: No! You are ghosts!
and extracurricular activities that don’t make sense at
Bondying: We're not ghost, sir, Come sir touch me.
all.
Mr. tuko: Yes, you are alive, my children! Bodyok: Do
Mr. Tuko: As long as you are all with me
you forgive us now, sir? Mr. tuko: You have not done
anything wrong. Kiko: Are you still going to flunk all of
us? Mr.tuko: I was not really serious about that. I was Budyok: Approve sir
just trying to scare you. But now I know terror does
not work on you. Ningning: But you don't need to Mr. Tuko: We had to this this together. Remember it
scare us, sir. Mr. tuko: I was actually afraid of you. I took 32 years to build the system of professor Tuko,
was so scared you would report me to the PTA. I have and we cannot just overhaul it with a single push
to admit now it's true I work nights as waiter in Cubao.
And that's because I earn so little in this school. I Pupils: Aprrove!
send so many kids to school, I have so many debts to
pay. Bondying: So that's the reason. Mr.tuko: And Mr. Tuko: So now, Let us proceed to our next…..
that's why I am often late and sleepy during Classes.
And that's also why I don't have time to update my Ningning: Sir.\
lesson plan and read new books. And to cover up my
fear, i try to scare you by being script. Bodyok: If you
Mr. Tuko: Yes ningning?
told us right from the beginning there wouldn't have
been so much trouble. We understand you.
Ningning: Let us proceed to our next lesson

Mr. Tuko: Oh yes…… let us now proceed with our

Kiko: Sir, I weill lend you the books I borrowed from
the library. Mr. tuko: I feel so ashamed. Kiko: It's only
us, sir. Nobody will know. Mr. tuko: and the report to
the PTA? Bodyok: What for, we're all Crispa now.
Ningning: So let's begin chaning your system, ha Mr.
tuko: And promise you will change for the better, also.
next lesson. Have you ever heard about the Legend
of Lam-ang
Bodyok: About a man who stole fire from the giants
Mr. Tuko: Right! Let’s study the legend by dramatizing
it together. Once upon a time, in a far away kingdom...