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A SIMPLE HINDI TEACHER IN UNDERWORLD

1 . INT. DON’S PLACE. DAY

Don GABU BIRIYANI (40) is playing a game on mobile and his man AJJU
KHIMA (38) comes.

AJJU KHIMA

Bhai, aap se milane koi teacher aayela hai.

GABU BIRIYANI

(surprisingly)

Kayko?

AJJU KHIMA

Kya maloom?

GABU BIRIYANI

Bula usko andar. Dekhte hai.

AJJU KHIMA goes out and comes back with the teacher RAMLAL (50).

GABU BIRIYANI

Boliye mastarji. App ko hum underworld valo se kya kam pad gaya?

RAMLAL

Ji nuakary chahiye thi. Private school ki tankhwah me ghar nahi

chalta hamara. Suna hai pichhle hapte pulice ne aap ke 1 aadmi ko
mar giraya. To aap ki company me uska avakash hoga.

GABU BIRIYANI

Uski maka…ye avakash kya hota hai?

RAMLAL
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Vacancy. Uski jagah khali hogi. Suna hai underworld me bahot paisa
hai.

HATELA (30), a man of GABU BIRIYANI comes with a vendor named

BABULAL (45). And throws him to GABU BIRIYANI

HATELA

Ye hapta dene se mana kar raha hai Bhai

GABU BIRIYANI

( To RAMALAL )

Mastarji…chaliye aap ka test lete hai. Ek kam kijiye,( showing

BABULAL ) isko kone me le jakar kharchapani dijiye.

RAMLALA takes BABULAL to a corner. And gives him some money.

RAMLAL

Ye kharcha.

RAMLAL takes GABU BIRIYANI’s water bottle. And gives it to BABULAL.

RAMLAL

Or ye pani. Kharcha pani.

All staring to RAMALAL with surprice and laugh.

GABU BIRIYANI

( feeling funny )

Mastarji aap ko to kuchh nahi aata. Bole to aap ko interview dena

padega. Pahela sawal.

RAMLAL

Option milega?
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GABU BIRIYANI

( Little anger )

kaun banega karorpati khel rahe hai? ( Trying to talk in calm voice
) To pahela sawal, Ganta matlab kya?

RAMALAL

Jab school shuru hoti hai, phir ricess milti hai aur school khatm
hoti hai to jo chij bajti hai use ghanta kahete hai. Aur time ke
liye bhi ghanta shabd ka istemal hota hai. Jaise 1 ghanta, 2 ghanta.

GABU BIRIYANI staring to RAMALAL with surprice.

RAMLAL

Maine kuchh galat kaha?

GABU BIRIYANI

Ghanta matlab…jab koi bat bakwas lagti hai to hum bolte hai Ghanta.
Aur ek ghanta hum sab ke pas hota hai. Chhodiye. Aur ek sawal. Ghoda
kaise chalate hai?

RAMLAL

( With action of riding the horse )

Tabdak…tabdak…tabdak…tabdak…

All staring to RAMALAL with surprice.

GABU BIRIYANI

( tension )

Thik hai…supari kaise lete hai?

RAMLAL
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Kisi bhi pan ke galle pe chale jaiye. Mil jayegi.

GABU BIRIYANI

( more tension )

Kisi ki ma-bahen ek kar dene ka mtlab kya hota hai?

RAMLAL

Vo to bade hi bhalai ka kam hota hai. Kisi ki ma aur beti ke bich

jhagda chala raha hai, aur us jhagde ko khatm karvakar vapas un dono
ko ek karne ko kahete hai ma-bahen ek kar dena.

GABU BIRIYANI

( in mind )

Sale tu mere dimag ki ma-bahen ek kar raha hai. ( to RAMLAL )Ek

khoka matlab kitan?

RAMLAL

App ki maths badi kamjor hai. 1 khokha matlab 1 khaokha. Kisi bhi
pasti vale ke pas aap ko chahiye utne khokhe mil jayenge.

GABU BIRIYANI

( Trying to survive against RAMLAL’s answers )

Kisi ko uda dena ho to kya karenge?

RAMLAL

Plane ya helicopter me bitha denge, aur kya?

GABU BIRIYANI

Game baja dene ka matlab?

RAMLAL
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Maine to kabhi koi game kheli hi nahi. Bas lattu aur gotiya khelte
the hum sab.

GABU BIRIYANI

Khajoor ka matlab?

RAMLAL

Ek ped hota hai. Jispe khajoor ugte hai.

GABU BIRIYANI

( Trying to control his anger )

Dimag satak jane ka matlab janta hai?

RAMLAL

Dimag se judi koi bahot badi bimari hogi. Brain ham rage ya aisa
kuchh.

GABU BIRIYANI

( With anger )

Sale sab se badi bimari tu hai. Kab se mere dimag ki vat laga
rakhkhi hai. Dil kar raha hai tere ko tapka du.

RAMLAL

Ji muje tapka mat dijiye. Naukari dijiye. Muje tapke-vapke ki

jaroorat nahi hai.

GABU BIRIYANI

( with anger )

Nikal bahar sale…nikal bahar…

RAMLAL
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TO meri naukari pakki? Salary kitni milegi?

GABU BIRIYANI

( pointing the gun to RAMLAL’s chest )

Salary ki ma ki…nikal…bahar nikal sale…

Firing on floor. RAMLAL runs out side. GABU BIRIYANI moves here and
there in anger. RAMLAL comes back.

RAMLAL

Under world se related koi course chalta hai kahi par? To vo kar ke
fir aau aapke pas.

GABU BIRIYANI

( in high anger )

Teri ma ki…

Fires again. RAMLAL runs out fast.