Part 1 (19 minutes and 14 seconds of Podcast)

Zaria [00:00:02] Hi! Welcome to our podcast "The Dangers of Online Dating." My name is
Zaria and I have with me...

Jackson [00:00:10] I'm Jackson.

Daven [00:00:12] I'm Daven.

Zaria [00:00:13] And today we're gonna be talking about online dating.

Jackson [00:00:17] So in this podcast we're going to discuss how prevalent online dating
is in today's society and on campus mentioning how users and people who utilize online
dating apps and websites are affected. So I have a question for you all, do you know of
anyone who uses online dating apps or do you all use any online dating apps?

Zaria [00:00:42] Me myself personally I've never used online dating apps but I do have a
friend who uses Tinder. She's like just getting into it and she's like, "ehhh it's ok."

Jackson [00:00:52] Yeah, she have any bad experiences with it?

Zaria [00:00:57] She doesn't really talk to anybody on there.

Jackson [00:00:59] Yeah, yeah.

Zaria [00:01:00] Have you heard of the new app where like the girls have to make the
move because like you know girls can suddenly...

Jackson [00:01:08] Bumble. Isn't that bumble?

Zaria [00:01:09] Yeah, Bumble.

Jackson [00:01:10] The girls have to message the guys first.

Daven [00:01:13] Those are those things they give out like parties. So it's a little like the
bumble thing... Isn't it like the bee things...

Jackson [00:01:21] Yeah, I know what you're talking about. It's funny.

Daven [00:01:22] They like sponsor those. Yeah, yeah they do.

Jackson [00:01:25] But yeah the girl has a message and like there's like so many apps
now out there where like different for different societies and cultures you know and
communities. It's like that's like girls makes the moves, so I guess that could be like I
guess depends on how you look at it... Like feminists people to look at where they want to
message the guy first...

Zaria [00:01:44] Well like I hear that girls get like so many messages on Tinder that like
they don't even open them. So like you know like the girls like play hard to get anyways, so
like I guess like if the girls make the first move it's like...

Daven [00:01:57] Why would you even have a Tinder then?

Jackson [00:02:01] Yeah. Because that brings up the question like why are you gonna try
to get matches? That's why I was thinking about people's like self-esteem and how they
just want to you know appear, they just want the attention.

Zaria [00:02:14] Well girls like get so many like guys like to come up to them like like you
can't really control that. Yeah like you know the girls don't usually make the move. Like you
guys.

Jackson [00:02:24] Do you know on bumble can you unmatch on Bumble?

Zaria [00:02:29] I don't know. I have never used bumble.

Jackson [00:02:29] Yeah, I'm pretty sure on Tinder you can unmatch. Yeah. So. Yeah.
And then there's that. You know personally I have a friend who has bad experience with
Tinder. They were meeting in a coffee shop you know. And it was completely just not even
the person that they'd even looked like in their profile picture. And they just figured...

Daven [00:02:59] So it was like catfishing?

Jackson [00:03:01] Yeah basically. Except this person had just like exaggerated...like
edited...the crap out of her picture and like...

Zaria [00:03:09] So she was a troll?

Jackson [00:03:10] Yeah. I mean i guess she just had so much makeup on and stuff and
like I guess all these filters and those stuff that you can use. And she just completely
looked... different .

Zaria [00:03:18] I just thought of like my friend. Okay, this story's like pretty raunchy guys,
so don't you know... beware. So, she's like looking for sugar daddies, right.

Daven [00:03:28] Oh yeah.

Zaria [00:03:30] She told me you can use Tinder which you don't have to be like in the
same state. Or like something like that like. You don't have to be where you're like looking
for people at. And I was like I don't believe that I think you have to be like in that spot.
Yeah. She was looking for sugar daddies, it's a long story.

Jackson [00:03:47] You know I know about that because you can pay for premium and
that's how you move locations you can put yourself anywhere in the United States. So
yeah... It's it's pretty trippy.

Daven [00:03:58] So why would people want to treat people like that? Isn't it kind of a
crazy world that there are actually people that want to manipulate?

Jackson [00:04:08] Yeah for real and like even just that like, but there's also people that
want to find your debit cards and your Social Security numbers and get into your finances
and stuff, just not you. Yeah, it's a crazy world out there.

Zaria [00:04:25] So it's like forget love. I just want the money.
Daven [00:04:28] Or sex, honestly.

Zaria [00:04:31] Yes. Well let's go we're talking about this because like the purpose of this
podcast is to talk about the dangers of online dating, like all of like the bad things that
happen like like you said scamming or like just hook ups or like catfish. I'm like you know
you're ugly like. Hey. Sorry. Yeah, like just be truthful like there's somebody for everybody
so like if you're ugly somebody is probably going to like you, just not everybody like you
know.

Daven [00:05:01] Yeah I agree with that. You will eventually find somebody.

Jackson [00:05:04] Yeah, yeah like if it's meant to be you're going to find that person,
Doesn't necessarily have to be online.

Zaria [00:05:09] Right and like I'm also gonna talk about alternatives to online dating like
offline dating. But, yeah like let's get into the conversation.

Jackson [00:05:16] Yeah. So, you know I was doing my research paper and I was
researching how online dating affects people's lives. And I found problems that affect
people's mental health, their safety and them just being subjected to like catfishers, you
know.

Zaria [00:05:35] Hey, what do you mean like by mental health. Like do they like go through
depression or...?

Jackson [00:05:39] Yeah, well actually those experiment conducted by an academic

journal called "Swipe right, young people and online dating in the digital age" and they
found that many young individuals felt judged based solely on their appearances by
potential partners because of contextual information is limited in online dating settings and
most initial judgments are based primarily on visual cues. So like in other words, you're
finding someone and like you want to like, like Tinder for example, you're trying to like get
a match or whatever and you know that's all, you swipe it right if you think they are
attractive or is it to your left? I don't know which one it is, but you swipe. And then it is
based on what they look like. It's not like you know their occupation or their personality it's
just based on what they look like.

Daven [00:06:30] So you really don't care too much.

Jackson [00:06:32] Yeah it's like very sad. So it fits that.

Zaria [00:06:35] Well like I feel like, you feel like sensitive and like you know like mentally
like you can't handle that, like I would suggest like more dating sites that are like about the
feelings and not like Tinder.

Jackson [00:06:49] Do you know any of any? Because I don't know...

Daven [00:06:52] I feel like the ones... alright I see online commercials all the time like
"Christian Mingle" like that like I did a Christian.

Jackson [00:07:00] Farmers only.

Zaria [00:07:01] I mean I feel like that would be like the real this way, to be honest.
Daven [00:07:08] So my feeling about those is I feel, I think there's a lot more like
catfishers and kind of creepers on there.

Jackson [00:07:17] Actually though there was an article and it's called um "The Dangers
of Online Dating" and it's from dating advice dot com and you all should check it out
because like there is over 53 percent of online users exaggerate their profile and 10
percent of sex offenders use online dating apps and websites. So, you were talking about
Christian Mingle. I mean for all we know they're just like... Oh there's these Christians just
trying to find some love and then you know find Jesus and their love or whatever, you
know and then you got these people that are coming up and taking advantage of their
good soul or whatever.

Zaria [00:07:54] Oh I know what you're saying, yeah there's an I believe so. I get it.

Jackson [00:08:01] Yeah, but I mean not just like not only Christians but I mean all types
of communities and stuff. But that's just an example of how you brought that up. What
about trying to be a farmer? Yeah pretending to be a farmer and like yeah I'm from you
know Georgia...

[00:08:18] Like to make it easy to get into the relationship or whatever

Jackson [00:08:18] Exactly. Because they're trying it like there's actually people that are
putting themselves out there. But as you were speaking about mental health there's also
another CNN article called "Online Dating lower self-esteem and increases depression"
and they found that quote people who self-described as having really addictive style
behaviors toward the Internet and cell phones scored much higher on depression and
anxiety score scales end quote. So I mean there's actually statistics that show that the
more you know on your internet you are using these dating apps and websites you're
going to be higher on depression and anxiety scales and those who do not.

Zaria [00:08:56] Yes that's true because like you already like watch your phone for that
text back. So just imagine a dating app. It sometimes works. Yeah. It's so oh my god "did I
get a message." "Oh my God." "Did he swipe right." "Oh my God."

Jackson [00:09:09] They're like if you don't like people wake up sometimes and they're
like "Oh did I get it." Like I have a friend who wake up like "did I get a match?" And they
didn't get any matches and then they're all like sad about it and they're like "What's wrong
with me?"

Daven [00:09:21] That kind of goes back to one of the points you said the like some
people don't even get on the dating websites anymore like tinder. Yeah and I know. And it
sometimes doesn't even matter because people aren't even like actually there.

Jackson [00:09:36] Yeah. Which I'm wondering if like if it's changed as like at the
University of Alabama, I know that like there's a bunch of college students that use Tinder
and all these dating apps and stuff, so I'm just wondering if people are starting to see this
as we're getting older if people start using them less, what do you all think about that?

Zaria [00:09:54] I think because it's on campus like, you know you can meet people in
person. So you really don't need it. But like on the weekends like hey if you need a
hookup...
Jackson [00:10:04] Yeah. Or a game day date. I mean you think about it like game day
dates. And there's even like date parties, you know frtaernity and sorority date parties. And
you'll have people put in... one of my friends she found a date because he said I don't
know he said something about date party or something and she said yeah. And then she
took him.I feel like there just she just based on his appearance, which is sad.

Daven [00:10:32] I feel like those things are so much more fun when you take someone
you know, instead of some random person who you in the end are most likely going to
hookup with.

Daven [00:10:46] It's awkward. It's like in the end you kind of like what's going to go down.
Yeah.

Jackson [00:10:54] But speaking of that according to that same article from dating advice
dot com "the dangers of online dating," four out of five women do not use safe sex on first
off line encounters. So if you have these girls going to these date parties, four out of five of
them are not going to use... safe sex and they're gonna get an STI or STD or even get
pregnant.

Zaria [00:11:19] Nasty. Let's not even talk about that.

Jackson [00:11:22] But second point. So how it affects individuals safety problems when
they're using these apps. So there was actually a study called "the review of the ugly truth
and negative aspects of online dating" and the author states that, quote, users are
exposed to higher risk of scam and hacking issues with their information available on the
Internet such as their identity photos and other personal details, end quote. So I mean
obviously people who are gonna use these dating apps and websites they're going to be
more prone to getting hacked and you know putting more of their private stuff out there
when they're just trying to find love and there's crazy people out there as Daven was
saying.

Zaria [00:12:05] I've heard about like like people getting like into online relationships and
then like the person like starts asking like "Can you wire me money?" And like, you know
"I'll send you money" da da da "I'll meet you here."

Jackson [00:12:19] Yeah I've even heard people say "I'll come see you but I just need five
hundred dollars." And you just like, you know one of my friends mom actually. It was her
mom and we were like "What?" But I mean it happens to everyone not just millennials but
even older individuals as well. But um her mom met this guy on, I think it was Bumble and
she was saying that, he was, he said that he was in the Navy and she never met him but
he was like "yeah I'll send... send me six hundred dollars and I'll take it to a plane ticket to
Atlanta and come see you and spend time with you and your family." Which is for one like
creepy. I mean, I don't think she did it. I can't remember. But yeah, it's yeah.

Zaria [00:13:00] I just don't get it. I'm already stingy with my money. Why would I send it
over there?

Jackson [00:13:06] Yeah. For real, especially in college, like you're already broke.

Daven [00:13:10] There's no telling what they can do, with like your cards or that kind of
information either.
Zaria [00:13:15] Yeah like... Don't like... You can't even tell them your birthday or
something because like they could use that, llike to figure out like passwords or something.
Like you never know.

Daven [00:13:24] That's another thing. So what if people aren't even trying to trick you but
they're trying to keep themselves safe. And they're like changing their own names and
things like that. It's almost like, as if they aren't really knowing their catfishing any way.

Jackson [00:13:40] Yeah, I mean that's a third point that I was gonna bring up that in
research my article.Yeah, according to Webster's Dictionary, for those who do not know,
catfish is defined as to deceive someone by creating a false personal profile online. So you
know, have you all seen that show, the MTV show oh what is it? "Catfish the TV show?"
And it is so crazy, and sad. You've never seen it?

Zaria [00:14:07] The marathon is on like every night.

Jackson [00:14:10] It's a mess.

Daven [00:14:11] Just explain it real fast.

Zaria [00:14:13] I'm not saying so, people OK person that made it, his name is Neve like
he made this whole movie about his experience. And it like blew up so they gave him a TV
show... and then people email him and him and his friend, like investigate and like find the
person and they like meet...

Jackson [00:14:29] It's actually pretty good.

Zaria [00:14:30] It's so good.

Jackson [00:14:32] Lke it is you know because because they wait till the end to tell tell
you if they're real or not. Sometimes they're not real.

Zaria [00:14:38] It can get really good or really bad. It's really funny when it goes bad.

Jackson [00:14:43] And there was actually one episode it's called "Artis and Jess," and
basically this story is Artis thought that he was dating a girl named Jess and was prepared
to dump his current real world girlfriend, and the mother of his three kids for her. Right. But
then what happened was towards the end, y'all go check this out. But the truth was that
Jess was actually an odd fellow named Justin, who was out on a mission to expose those
cheating with strangers online and he said that he was a "relationship vigilante." And he
like, it gets heated. Have you seen that episode?

Zaria [00:15:17] I' think I've seen that.

Jackson [00:15:21] The guy was like the guy was like he goes "are you gay" and he goes
"no," he goes "well then why are you messaging guys?" He goes "well you got me there."
And he goes yeah, it was really creepy. Yeah. It was something else.

Daven [00:15:33] So it's obvious that like cat fishing really kind of ticks other people off.
Jackson [00:15:38] Yeah. And you know there was actually a blog post from Stephanie
Mitchell. I just want to add this will quick, that she writes in her blog, quote, I needed to
come to terms with where I wanted to place blame. I do not blame my catfisher. He is a
product of his environment and the choices he makes. I am also responsible for my own
choices, end quote. So I mean do you all think that people who get on these apps, is it
their fault that they're being catfish or is it everybody else's fault? I mean because like if
you think about it some of these people just trying to find love and then they're putting way
too much of themselves out there, what do you think about that?

Zaria [00:16:13] It's the risk you take. But like this is what my topic is about, like if that's
like so much going on like online dating and like all these rules going like you know cat
fishing and like information being stolen, and never meeting the person, scammers, all
that. Why not try like in person? Like offline dating, like why go online?

Daven [00:16:39] I think some people just feel like they're socially awkward and like they
don't know how to talk in real life and most and it is a lot easier to talk on your phone or
computer. It is easier.

Jackson [00:16:50] I mean I think that with all this newer technology, I mean it's allowed
us to have access to this stuff. So I mean if you think about a positive attribute to those
people who can't, you know put themselves out there as well. Because I mean if you think
about the University of Alabama... it is what? Thirty thousand students? So I mean maybe
it gives you more of a chance to meet new people and stuff but...

Zaria [00:17:11] Yeah... That's like our generation now like everything's online like I don't
have personal skills or....

Jackson [00:17:17] Like I mean even what we do in school is online, blackboard

everything like quizzes, tests.

Zaria [00:17:22] I'd rather texts like I'm not going to lie. But like I'd rather texts and like
meeting like in person like just saves you like from like all this heartache, like you know the
person you're meeting is that person; you know what they look like. I mean like yeah, you
could get a stalker. But like is it like really worse than... like online dating?

Daven [00:17:44] Yeah, you don't really have to keep your head on a swivel with a person
you know, either too much, I feel like. You know just like with a Tinder person, like you
probably need to keep like eyes on the back of your head you know.

Jackson [00:17:55] Yeah, always. Like being aware and stuff.

Daven [00:17:56] Yeah, cause to make sure they aren't there to screw you over or
something.

Jackson [00:18:00] Yeah, but then that again brings up the question too of how people
are always on you know trying to find love, but then they go "well, wait what if they're just
using me?" And then effects that relationship too. Well, I wanna hear about what you
researched, Zaria.

Zaria [00:18:15] Like, it's just like, how like offline dating life is better like if you like trying to
find love like I was focused on love more like not like the hookups. Like people will go
online, like they say, they go online to find love like do they really? I feel like if you're trying
to find love like have you ever heard of like "love at first sight" or like the old fashioned way
like what, what's wrong with that? Like you know like online dating culture's like not really...
I don't think it's built for like real relationships and feelings and connections and stuff, you
know?

Daven [00:18:50] Well that brings up, sorry. That brings up the topic of technology like with
all this new stuff popping up like it's kind of changing how we live our lives and how things
are becoming. Like some people literally don't even go outside.

Jackson [00:19:08] Yeah, the digital culture has literally led us to this new and a bit of
innovative way of dating so i mean...

Zaria [00:19:14] But like can you really date adult like seem like you know like if this like
online relationship like you never go on a real date, like like you know I'm saying? Like if
you're trying to find love and like find your husband, if you never like been to the park with
him like...

Part 2 (19 minutes and 15 seconds to 39 minutes and 35 seconds)

Zaria [00:00:00] To the lake or something, like?

Jackson [00:00:02] But then y'all meet in person, you know.

Zaria [00:00:03] Eventually or not at all.

Jackson [00:00:05] Eventually, yeah that is true. Yeah. Are you talking about more of like
long distance then?

Zaria [00:00:09] Yeah or like online period. Like, you know, like, people say they're gonna
meet you, or like they're here or there like that. They're this person, but they never have
plans of meeting you. Or, like, I don't know like games basically. I don't know.

Jackson [00:00:20] Right. Yeah.

Zaria [00:00:22] Like snapchat. Like, you could be talking to somebody, and then they're
like "oh yeah we're going to link up." You know. They never link up with you.

Jackson [00:00:28] Oh and they're just saying this. Oh and you know I actually I did read
somewhere I think it was the same. It was in datingadvice.com, and it said -- oh it was the
same article I think the "Danger of Online Dating" -- and it said something about how there
is I think it was 28 percent of online users or no it was not 20. It was way lower than. It was
13 percent but of online users are already married.

Zaria [00:00:54] What?! Already married?

Jackson [00:00:57] Yeah, so I mean there's that, too. Maybe that's why they're not
meeting in person just as you were saying because I guess they need more attention. And
that goes back to their self-esteem and problems.

Zaria [00:01:10] Well I did find like statistics on like how there's like a low rate of marriages
like online dating versus offline. Well, if they're already married, they can't get married
again if they're online dating. So, that explains that I guess.
Jackson [00:01:27] Right. Yeah.

Zaria [00:01:30] Yeah. Just like if you're looking like for a marriage and like a long term
relationship and like it's just like offline, like in real life, is like better I feel because like
connections like you can like tell if someone's being genuine with you.

Jackson [00:01:52] Right. Yeah.

Zaria [00:01:52] Like over the screen. Yeah, "I love you." Like, "Oh my God he really
means it." But like in person, like, "he's not feeling me." Like, you know? Like you can tell.

Daven [00:02:00] It's just a screen.

Zaria [00:02:01] Right, like.

Jackson [00:02:02] Yeah, that's a valid point. I agree with that.

Zaria [00:02:05] But, like, I guess it's not about love anymore. Like, maybe like that's why
people are, like, so discouraged about love nowadays. Like, you know like how everybody
is? "I don't need love."

Jackson [00:02:14] Yeah, I know. It's like the hookup culture, you know? It's like how
people...

Daven [00:02:18] Are always hooking up nowadays.

Jackson [00:02:20] Yeah, exactly. And they're just, you know, trying to...

Zaria [00:02:24] There's nothing real anymore, you know?

Jackson [00:02:24] They're trying to get the "home run" if you know what I mean.

Zaria [00:02:27] Yeah, it's really like nothing real. It's not about love anymore at this point.

Jackson [00:02:36] Yeah. Did you find any other statistics or anything? That's a very valid
point. I agree with that.

Zaria [00:02:44] It's basically just about like how we're like at a university. I found this
article about UT people. There's like so many organizations there, and this couple gave
their testimony like about like how they got into this organization. It was like so specific
about beliefs and like stuff like that. She was like, "Oh, I just knew like if he was as
passionate about this as I am about this like this is gonna work." Like, you know? Like that
was the first thing. Then she's like, "Oh he's attractive. We get to see each other like a lot."
Like, you know? Like, she didn't have to go on like online to like this little website that's
like, "Oh Team Green," or something. Like, if she's into trees. Like, she met it like met him
in person.

Jackson [00:03:27] Yeah, I wonder what that says to us as a society now that we, you
know, we have clinged to this new way of dating and getting away from like... Are we just
more distant now? Has all of everybody self-esteem gone down or are we just getting lazy
as a society? We don't want to go out and meet people. We don't want to go out with our
friends and see people and, you know, be in person as you were saying. What do y'all
think about that?

Zaria [00:03:55] Well, I did find a case study about self-esteem, like, online versus offline
by Dr. Aditi Paul. She's like, you know, self-esteem plays a lot in like how we approach
people. Like, online we'll like probably like shoot our shot at like anybody because like we
put the best picture of ourself up or something like that. But like online like offline like
you're not gonna go up to that person or whatever like. It's just I don't know. It's like. Online
is just like easier I guess.

Jackson [00:04:26] Right. And I'm wondering now though is if that's like opinionated, you
know, because a lot of people might think "oh online is easier" or people might say "offline
is easier." You know. I'm wondering.

Zaria [00:04:36] Well online you can manipulate.

Daven [00:04:38] Yeah. I feel like online is just...

Jackson [00:04:38] Well that's true. But I mean I guess. Yeah yeah yeah. Well I agree
with that too.

Zaria [00:04:43] You could put the best picture up.

Daven [00:04:44] You don't have to worry about anything online, I mean.

Jackson [00:04:47] Yeah, if you just get tired, you can block them.

Zaria [00:04:50] Yeah.

Daven [00:04:50] Honestly.

Jackson [00:04:51] It don't matter.

Zaria [00:04:53] Unless they try to facetime, and then it's like.. Yeah.

Jackson [00:04:56] You can't block a facetime anymore?

Zaria [00:04:57] No, like, I'm saying like it's not like on screen anymore like typing. It's
more like talking like face to face. Like, that weirds people out. I don't know. It's like in
person almost. And I'm like okay, well.

Jackson [00:05:10] Right yeah.

Zaria [00:05:10] You can like formulate your responses through text like, you know, but if
you're on face time like you have to like respond like at that moment.

Jackson [00:05:20] I'm curious. Do y'all know most people that use online dating apps and
websites do they prefer to do it in person? Like to date in person, I mean, or online. What
do yall think? Because I feel like a lot of people I know prefer to date and meet people in
person, but what do yall think?
Daven [00:05:37] Yeah, I would much rather want to like date someone in person because
I don't feel like dating is sitting behind a computer all day looking at a screen.

Zaria [00:05:45] I guess like for older people, like, I guess it's harder because like they
may like match with someone across the world, but like for us it's kind of easier.

Daven [00:05:55] I feel like with older people, though, that they would probably be more
the ones to go out and try and find like a girlfriend.

Jackson [00:06:02] Because they grew up more in that culture with less technology than
we have today.

Zaria [00:06:07] They are busier with their lives, like work and stuff, so maybe they don't
have the time to go out. Maybe they don't have the confidence to go out or like, I don't
know. It's usually older people who are like ready to settle down are like on those online
dating apps like Match.com, things like that.

Jackson [00:06:30] Yeah I agree with that.

Zaria [00:06:32] Like for us, for our generation, like Tinder. It's fine.

Jackson [00:06:37] Plus everybody is different, too, you know. Everybody is at different
stages in today's society. It's so different.

Zaria [00:06:41] Like who's really looking for love like at our age right now? Like who's
married right now? Like I don't know anybody who's like looking to get married right now.
To be honest. But Daven what's your like your take on this?

Daven [00:06:57] I mean a few of my topics or a few things that I found on it. Well, my
paper's really about the dangers of it. And one of the things that I found or one article was
like "We Asked Catfish Why They Tricked People Online" by like psychology.org. And
some of the stuff they say is just like creepy. Like, it's people that you would expect to
watch a documentary like Ted Bundy on or something like that. Like no joke. Like some of
them are like, "I like to see people in pain or like hurt" or whatever, and it's just very weird.
Like, I mean some of these people are just out here to hurt people, and I honestly think
these dating websites can be dangerous because like if you really get into your
relationship. The article even said. I'll read the quote. The article even said at one point, "In
the 2010 documentary Nev Schulman learns that a woman with whom he had developed
an online relationship over nine months was actually fake." Like think about how emotional
that can be for someone who thinks they actually have something going on.

Jackson [00:08:18] Yeah. There was actually one when I was researching. I don't
remember. It was a story, though, that I heard. And it was they talked for three years and
then they found out that she was not real. She was a somebody completely different who
was just trying to hack and scam 'em. It was just so sad because I mean what you were
saying. What does that do to a person's?

Daven [00:08:38] That's terrible.

Zaria [00:08:39] I feel like there should be a cutoff. Maybe it's just me; maybe I'm just
impatient, but I feel like there should be a cutoff. Like if we haven't met in within one year,
like, I gotta let you go.
Jackson [00:08:47] Yeah, well it's also like where are your morals? Like, what causes and
what drags a person to go on for three years?

Daven [00:08:53] I mean, you're taking away three years of somebody's life. Yeah.

Jackson [00:08:57] I completely agree. Yeah, it's sad true.

Daven [00:09:01] 'Cause that's like a lot of time, in my opinion.

Jackson [00:09:03] Yeah, I mean that's like. I cannot imagine. And what that does to a
person mentally, like, where that drives it. I mean I've I know it drags people's self-esteem
down. I'm sure they get depressed and then their trust issues. How are they supposed to
get back out there and find somebody, you know?

Daven [00:09:23] Yeah.

Zaria [00:09:25] So does that lead them to go back online, or like do they want to shy
away from that?

Jackson [00:09:29] I would hope, in my opinion, I would hope they find somebody in
person.

Daven [00:09:33] They might not know anything else to do, though, is the thing. 'Cause
that's another like mental problem.

Jackson [00:09:38] Because they've been wired for so long. I mean because that's what
the Internet does to you, you know.

Daven [00:09:44] It's addictive.

Jackson [00:09:44] When you're using it so much, you're wired to. It's addictive, yeah.
And you're just wired to do. And then you know if like you used that who was tricked for
three years. If she was to try to go back on, you know, it's just it's crazy. And everybody's
different, so I mean some people might say, "You know what, this did happen me. This is
my experience. I've learned from this, but now I know what not to do." I guess.

Daven [00:10:11] Yeah. Another thing that I thought was pretty interesting, and yeah I
know we've been laughing about it the whole time, but like literally all we used Tinder for is
like hooking up. I mean honestly. Like, that's what all the older kids said when I came here
as a freshman to use that. That's just how it is honestly. And my question is, like, our
generation made that okay? Or has like our age group, like can, why do we consider that
okay all of a sudden? 'Cause that used to be huge like "no no" I feel like.

Jackson [00:10:54] Yeah, thats a good point. And it's like your morals have just gone
down, you know. I mean, we all come here, and we're all freshmen here right? Freshman
in college. Yeah, and we come here and we're excited to get away and then we go out and
make mistakes, you know just like we do, but I wonder if that's what why everyone thinks
it's okay. You know, that we're freshmen. You know, it's your freshman year. Make as
many mistakes as you can. Sleep with as many people as you want. You know.
Daven [00:11:21] But why is that okay now? That's the whole question, and I play back
and go to, Iike, into the idea of like pathos, and like logos, and ethos and stuff. 'Cause like
is it logical for us to be hooking up with a different person almost every other night now,
like, just because we have technology?

Jackson [00:11:42] Yeah, I'm wondering if that leads to even addictive behaviors, too, like
you're saying. I don't know why that's okay, but I'm wondering if maybe they become
sexually addictive to it or it drives them or drives their self-esteem up, you know. I don't,
I'm not sure why people do that. What do you think Zaria?

Zaria [00:12:00] I think it's just like the times. Like people are just like, gonna use slang
here, but bandwagon.

Daven [00:12:09] The times are a changing.

Zaria [00:12:10] Like, if everybody's doing it, like, hey it's just how it is. Like, that's what
people say, "It's how it is." Like, hey that's how it is.

Jackson [00:12:15] But, like where's the cut off, you know I mean? This is like, what if it's
hooking up then next thing you know it's, i mean i know this is gonna sound hyperbo
whatever hyperbo exaggerating, but I give up. Exaggerating, but like what's next?Like
kids? Oh that's new, let's all have kids in college, you know. I mean, where does it stop?

Zaria [00:12:34] Well, it used to be like a lot of STD's back in the day. Now, it's just like a
lot of hooking up but like safer sex.

Jackson [00:12:42] Right. Yeah.

Zaria [00:12:43] I put quotes around safer sex.

Daven [00:12:44] Is safer sex better sex, though? I mean honestly.

Zaria [00:12:47] No.

Jackson [00:12:48] Yeah, because I mean if you think about it sex is like something that
you share with somebody who you, I mean typically, who you're trying to love and go on. I
mean, that's like a really secure thing to do and when you do that. As Daven was saying,
why do we do that? I'm not sure.

Daven [00:13:07] I think these dating web sites have given us a false idea that meeting
these new people and having the idea that we're gonna hook up with them and then like
not really talk to them again it's like okay. And pretty much everybody uses it.

Jackson [00:13:21] Yeah.

Zaria [00:13:22] Okay. So did Tinder start off as like a hookup, like was it like promoted as
a hookup app, or like did people make it that?

Daven [00:13:30] I think it was starting off like that, but I think it was supposed to be a
more serious one and then it kind of turned into like a bunch of college students using it all
the time.
Jackson [00:13:40] Yeah, their idea was to like make it that like something that people
could use and fall on, you know. Something different, something that stood out; but, then it
just turned into what Daven was saying.

Zaria [00:13:51] Well didn't you say, like, there's like not much information at all? Like, it's
just a picture and like an age and something.

Daven [00:13:58] There's more information. If you like tap the picture, there's more
information on the back.

Jackson [00:14:04] But you have to do an extra thing to do it. So most people are just
gonna swipe, swipe.

Zaria [00:14:09] Okay. So it's not the app's fault then, it's the people's fault.

Daven [00:14:10] No, but like the app is kind of setting it up in a way where like, you know,
you don't really care about the info. Like, it's just pretty much showing you the picture. Like
you have to keep swiping and then like on the third picture it'll start showing information
like what kind of songs a person likes or whatever.

Zaria [00:14:31] Okay. So like maybe they should put the information first and then not
show a picture.

Jackson [00:14:37] Well, on Tinder you can just only show your picture. I guess unless
you make your picture your information which people are just going to swipe no, at least
on the University of Alabama from what I've seen. But like that also brings us to the
question like what if someone's looking, like what you were saying, "What was it made
for?" What if someone's looking for that relationship, but then other people are looking for
a hook up and then they do hook up and then what happens with that? You know, what
happens with everybody?

Zaria [00:15:13] I don't know. I feel like it's just a risk you take with online dating. Do you
guys think online dating is like substantial, like is it serious? Is it for real relationships?
Like, I don't think it is. Like, I don't think.

Daven [00:15:29] I think it's mostly just for hookups in the end.

Zaria [00:15:31] Right, so I don't. That's why I feel like if you're really looking for something
real you shouldn't go online. If you're looking for this cultures way of interacting with each
other which is like: to hang out; to hook up; "Oh, you're nice to be around, but I don't want
to date you or be like with you for a long time." Like that's basically like what we're trying to
get to in this podcast basically.

Jackson [00:15:51] Yeah I agree completely. That I think it's just all for hooking up.

Zaria [00:15:57] Okay. So like that was a pretty good talk, guys. Like, so basically the
message here was online dating is risky and dangerous, but like offline dating can be too
because you can get stalkers. Like bad encounters like inevitable.

Jackson [00:16:21] Yeah, something bad always going to happen, though, whether it's in
person or online.
Zaria [00:16:28] So just be prepared, have the right approach, be safe. You know, it
shouldn't be like a traumatic experience. Like, so like, if you have like traumatic
experiences with online dating, like try something else. If you have traumatic experiences
with like.

Jackson [00:16:45] Get help. Get some help first, though, too. Let's hope you get some
help and then. Because we all react differently in society so.

Zaria [00:16:52] And like online dating is not guaranteed love if you're looking for love
online because it's mostly hookup as we talked about this whole time. And like just
because you try in real life, it may not happen as fast either. So like I don't know what to
tell yo if you're looking for love because people today are not. The purpose here is just like
to talk about like online dating like the problems with it, what it's used for, an alternative.
But like pretty much what online dating is which is hook up culture. That's what we came to
I believe.

Daven [00:17:34] I agree with that. I think it might have started out pretty serious at first,
though. I mean honestly. 'Cause like at first Christian Mingle kind of seemed like, "Oh,
Christians actually want to start dating" or like the farmer's web site or whatever.

Jackson [00:17:55] Right.

Daven [00:17:56] Like but I think like we've been saying some of the things have been
turning it into like almost hook up web sites now.

Jackson [00:18:05] Yeah. And I just hope though like as our society and like as
Millennials, even on campus, that we can just stick to our morals though, too. You know,
we don't have to cling to the bandwagon, just jump and do what everybody else wants to
do. That we can, you know like if you're looking for love or if you're looking for a
relationship or if you're looking for a hook up, you know. Try to stick to who you are and
just...

Zaria [00:18:31] Be true to yourself.

Jackson [00:18:32] Yeah.

Daven [00:18:33] I think morals is like a huge word for this conversation because like are
we like ethically doing the right thing anymore? Like are we doing things morally right now
because of this?

Zaria [00:18:46] We could like talk about like ways to move forward about that. Like I was
suggesting like maybe the websites should like or the apps should like put the information
and not ask for pictures first. You know like.

Jackson [00:19:01] Yeah what do y'all know of any suggestions that we can offer before
we wrap this up to protect individuals from the dangers of online dating?

Zaria [00:19:12] Like as a society what should we do? Like we should, I think we should
change our mindset, but like hey that's just me.

Jackson [00:19:19] Right. I think you should, though, if you're going to engage in online
dating. I think you should tell a friend where you're going. If you're gonna meet with them,
you know, and say, "Hey, I'm going here. Call me in 30 minutes to check on me. If not call
the police." Like I mean there's some serious things that happen out there.

Zaria [00:19:33] That's the safer side to it. Yeah.

Daven [00:19:36] I honestly don't even think it's worth it. In the end, I think it's a lot better
just to meet people in real life and to date someone that you actually know.

Zaria [00:19:46] So you think we should do away with online dating?

Daven [00:19:48] Probably not do away with it because some people need it but like.

Jackson [00:19:53] I mean it's true we have needs.

Daven [00:19:55] It's just kind of a hard thing 'cause some people actually use it and then
some people don't. That's what it comes down to. And that's why it's such a huge risk
nowadays cause some people are just using it to hook up.

Jackson [00:20:08] Yeah I agree.

Daven [00:20:09] And then some are actually trying to date.

Jackson [00:20:12] And it's very dangerous, like you were saying morality, I mean it's very
dangerous to your morals and yourself and what you put in what situations you're putting
yourself into.

Daven [00:20:19] Yeah.

Zaria [00:20:21] Well, that was a good talk. This was "The Dangers of Online Dating" with
Zaria with Jackson and Devon. Feel free to talk about this with your friends. You know like
talk about online dating like all that.