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Adriana Flores

23 November 2018

Less than perfect

As a first generation student, it is hard to navigate or to receive guidance toward a

successful path. My experience goes beyond just a first generation student, I was labeled special

ed since since fifth grade. I lost the confidence I had. Being labeled special ed had brought a lot

of negative comments from my classmates. When i first entered my special ed class I remember

crying because I felt sad not being able to be with my friends. My fifth grade year was the worst

because my TA wouldn’t let me socialize with my best friend. At the time, I was kept in a small

area to play with my classmates because they were my “new friends”. I remember getting to

class and some classmates will make fun of me because i understood the work and will call me a

“teachers pet”. This experience taught me to not pay attention to bullies and not be afraid to be

myself around people.

Fifth grade wasn’t what I expected it to be; I had a pretty rough year. I lost the friends I

had because I was changed to special ed classroom. There were days when I felt lonely because I

no longer had confidence; I shut everyone out. I always tried to avoid people because I was

scared to get bullied and be hurt so, I would go sit on my classroom stairs. I felt sad being away

from the people I grew up with. I fit in with them because they knew me for a long time. I

remember trying to fit in with all my classrooms, but it was hard because my classmates didn’t

want to socialize with me because they didn’t know me like their classmates.
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After all the moments feeling lonely at young age, I felt like I couldn’t be myself. I

remember my teacher would always chose me to participate but i would be scared to so i would

hide behind my hair. I always thought about the old times in my other classes when i wouldn’t

feel uncomfortable to participate. Once during math time, I passed all my multiplication and I

remember my classmates coming coming to me for help. I felt like that was a good thing, but

other students would make fun of me saying, “Now, you are with the dumb kids. They will

constantly made fun of me in the lunch line. Those bullies still haunt me; every time i see them I

cry because they made me feel like I was worth nothing.

I went through a phase where my hair helped me hide from socializing with others. I

didn’t stop hiding until 7th grade, when I finally made a friend. From then, we both started to

grow as people, helped each other, and asked for help when needed. Then, we met new friends

and it felt to have a friend who I could count on. The six of us motivated each other to be better.

Then, i got to high school and we were all in different academies and it was time for me to make

new friends and have a fresh new start.

In high school, it is way easier to make friends because there isn’t a separate class for

students with learning disabilities. They keep all students together, which makes it better because

nobody knows that I am in special ed, so they don’t treat me differently. Now, I’m a 12th grader

who is strong and has all the abilities to do the best in her classes. I have gotten two Honor Roll

certificates and I feel accomplished. Not only have I improved academically, but i’ve been also

become more social in the classroom and out of it. High school shaped me into the person I am

today. It’s been a bumpy road, but I tried to push through. I have made myself really proud of the
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achievements I have accomplished. I try to show people that a label doesn’t define you. I feel

happy with the changes i’ve made because I have my confidence again.

In conclusion, I have been through some rough patches as an adolescent, but I have

become a better me. I have become a person I didn’t know I had in me but im proud that part of

me came out. Now, I know I can work hard for what I want to accomplish. I’ve learned to be the

person I was before being labeled special ed in 5th grade.