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Eliu Figueroa

February 12, 2019

Ms.Kardell

A mistake I believe I constantly made was the improper use of commas. While writing

the paper I used commas very little and I feel like I may have needed them all over the paper. An

area I wish to improve on is the vocabulary I use because I can see that I still write at a

highschool level, I saw this when I peer reviewed Ashley Cooper’s paper. I plan to improve my

vocabulary by reading more books and going over how other writers use more complex words to

describe what they’re saying and hopefully I learn from that. I’m not too sure of a resource I can

use to help me improve my vocabulary but I will have to do some research of where I can find

one.

I believe I addressed the paper properly because the purpose of the paper was to inform

an audience about a human right that is not always seen as a human right. I wrote about the right

to a reliable food source and why millions of people in developing countries all over the world

suffer from hunger. At first I wasn’t one hundred percent certain I knew the purpose of the

project but after the conference with Ms.Kardell I knew the purpose was to convince an audience

that food scarcity is a real issue. I believe I was able to explain without personal bias because I

made sure to not include any type of opinion in favor of food scarcity. Also I used mostly facts

that I found in my sources and just built off of those facts to create statements. The peer reviews

were super helpful because my partners Adrian and Ashley wrote all the little mistakes I made

and even helped me reword some sentences to sound better.


My process for writing was only to create a rough draft and edit it by using the peer

review feedback to create my final draft. I do want to start using mind maps or diagrams so I can

better layout my paper and give it a better flow. I chose to structure my paper by giving facts

about hunger around the world to catch the reader’s attention. My body paragraphs included the

reasons as to why food scarcity is such a big problem like weather conditions and lack of proper

technology, also why it continues to be a problem. I also included facts about food scarcity

alongside some inventions that were created to try and combat food scarcity like alternate

sources of energy to help combat the issue of un-proper refrigeration. I was able to find

appropriate content from my sources pretty easily because there are so many sources based on

hunger around the world. In the future I will be looking for more sources so I can be more

specific on my topic and potentially focus on a single country or group of countries. This will

require me to dig deep to find specific statistics on certain countries.

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