proposal essay.

docx
by Trevor Roberts

Submission date: 20-Feb-2019 10:50AM (UT C-0800)

Submission ID: 1080966841
File name: proposal_essay.docx (25.84K)
Word count: 1818
Character count: 9646
 adolescents

Int roduce Evidence

1
 Int roduce Evidence

New Paragraph

Int roduce Evidence

New Paragraph

Self Aware
 4

you

is

Awk.

Concluding t ransit ion.

Self Aware

Mega Paragraph
 Self Aware

Self Aware

Mega Paragraph
 This should be a separate page

Good
proposal essay.docx
ORIGINALITY REPORT

24 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
23%
INT ERNET SOURCES
15%
PUBLICAT IONS
19%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
academic.oup.com
Int ernet Source 8%
2
healthyeating.sfgate.com
Int ernet Source 3%
3
kuscholarworks.ku.edu
Int ernet Source 2%
4
Submitted to Grand Canyon University
St udent Paper 2%
5
Submitted to Embry Riddle Aeronautical
University
1%
St udent Paper

6
Submitted to Montana State University,
Bozeman
1%
St udent Paper

7
Submitted to Rocori High School
St udent Paper 1%
8
Submitted to Flinders University
St udent Paper 1%
9
onlinelibrary.wiley.com
Int ernet Source 1%
10
Submitted to CSU Northridge
St udent Paper 1%
11
www.cmaj.ca
Int ernet Source 1%
12
objetivomurcia.laverdad.es
Int ernet Source 1%
13
Submitted to Fresno City College
St udent Paper 1%
14
circ.ahajournals.org
Int ernet Source 1%
15
dietsoftwareprograms.blogspot.com
Int ernet Source <1%

Exclude quotes Of f Exclude matches Of f

Exclude bibliography Of f
proposal essay.docx
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

85
T revor,

T his is a great start. You wrote passionately about a

topic that you clearly care about. I think that you
included several well-researched sources to help

/100
prove your point. T hat said, you have a f ew issues
of organization and style here. First, you have
several mega paragraphs here. I have marked a f ew
places where you might want to consider breaking up
your ideas. Remember that each time you shif t your
f ocus, you need to start a new paragraph.
Furthermore, you of ten times ref er to yourself and
the rhetorical moves that you are about to make in
your paper. Of ten times the more ef f ective way to
do this is to simply make the claim. When you revise
f or your f inal paper, you will want to do so with this
in mind. I look f orward to your next paper.

PAGE 1

Missing "," Review the rules f or using punctuation marks.

Text Comment. adolescents

Article Error You may need to remove this article.

QM Introduce Evidence | Dev/Sup

T ake some time to introduce this quote. By building the author's ethos, you also build your own.

Comment 1 | Unit y

Ok good, but why does this matter?

PAGE 2

Strikethrough.
 QM Introduce Evidence | Dev/Sup

T ake some time to introduce this quote. By building the author's ethos, you also build your own.

Article Error You may need to remove this article.

QM New Paragraph | Organizat ion

Start a New Paragraph Here

QM Introduce Evidence | Dev/Sup

T ake some time to introduce this quote. By building the author's ethos, you also build your own.

QM New Paragraph | Organizat ion

Start a New Paragraph Here

P/V You have used the passive voice in this sentence. You may want to revise it using the active
voice.

Article Error You may need to use an article bef ore this word.

QM Self Aware | St yle

T ry not to make your essays self aware In other words, simply make the claims rather than
saying HOW you will make the claims.

Strikethrough.

PAGE 3

Prep. You may be using the wrong preposition.

Comment 4 | St yle

Any quote over three lines should be block quote f ormatted. consider paraphrasing this inf o.

QM you | St yle

Don't use "you" in f ormal college writing.

Sp. T his word is misspelled. Use a dictionary or spellchecker when you proof read your work.
 Missing "," Review the rules f or using punctuation marks.

Text Comment. is

Strikethrough.

QM Awk. | SWE Conv

Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

Sp. T his word is misspelled. Use a dictionary or spellchecker when you proof read your work.

QM Concluding transition. | Organizat ion

Don't transition when you conclude a paragraph.

QM Self Aware | St yle

T ry not to make your essays self aware In other words, simply make the claims rather than
saying HOW you will make the claims.

QM Mega Paragraph | Organizat ion

T his paragraph has a lot going on. You need to split it up.

Strikethrough.

PAGE 4

Strikethrough.

QM Self Aware | St yle

T ry not to make your essays self aware In other words, simply make the claims rather than
saying HOW you will make the claims.

Article Error You may need to use an article bef ore this word. Consider using the article the

QM Self Aware | St yle

T ry not to make your essays self aware In other words, simply make the claims rather than
saying HOW you will make the claims.

QM Mega Paragraph | Organizat ion

 T his paragraph has a lot going on. You need to split it up.

Sentence Cap. Review the rules f or capitalization.

PAGE 5

Sp. T his word is misspelled. Use a dictionary or spellchecker when you proof read your work.

Article Error You may need to use an article bef ore this word.

Prep. You may be using the wrong preposition.

PAGE 6

Possessive Review the rules f or possessive nouns.

Text Comment. T his should be a separate page

QM Good | Format

Good

PAGE 7
RUBRIC: WRITING ASSIGNMENT RUBRIC

UNIT Y Scale 5

SCALE 6 presents a cogent, thesis-driven analysis of or response to the text

SCALE 5 presents a thoughtf ul, thesis-centered analysis of or response to the text

SCALE 4 presents an appropriate, thesis-based analysis of or response to the text

SCALE 3 presents an inconsistent or illogical thesis-related analysis of or response to the text

which ref lects an incomplete understanding of the text or topic

SCALE 2 presents a simplistic, inappropriate, or incoherent thesis-tangential analysis of or

response to the text, one that may suggest some signif icant misunderstanding of the
text or the topic;

SCALE 1 presents an inadequate, thesis-irrelevant analysis of or response to the text,

ignoring the topic’s demands, unacceptable

DEV/SUP Scale 4

SCALE 6 elaborates that response with well-chosen examples and persuasive reasoning,
excellent

SCALE 5 elaborates that response with appropriate examples and logical reasoning

SCALE 4 elaborates that response with acceptable examples and sensible reasoning

SCALE 3 lacks elaboration with appropriate examples , lacking

SCALE 2 lacks elaboration with appropriate examples or elaborates with inappropriate

examples

SCALE 1 lacks any appropriate pattern of development; may be inappropriately brief ,

unacceptable

ORGANIZ AT ION Scale 4

SCALE 6 conf orms to an organizational pattern that f acilitates reader understanding, using
organizational patterns to demonstrate the relatedness of ideas and enhances the
power of the argument

SCALE 5 conf orms to an organizational pattern that f acilitates reader understanding, using
organizational patterns to convey the argument

SCALE 4 conf orms to an organizational pattern that f acilitates reader understanding, using
organizational patterns to illustrate the argument, f its

SCALE 3 deviates f rom an organizational pattern that f acilitates reader understanding, so that
organizational structures may detract f rom the argument
SCALE 2 lacks an organizational pattern which f acilitates reader understanding, lacking

SCALE 1 lacks any appropriate organizational pattern, unacceptable

ST YLE Scale 4

SCALE 6 displays a sophisticated style that ref lects aptly chosen words and rhetorically
ef f ective sentence variety

SCALE 5 displays a readable style that ref lects well-chosen words and ef f ective sentences

SCALE 4 displays a style that ref lects appropriate words and sentence variety

SCALE 3 displays a style that ref lects imprecise word choice and little sentence variety

SCALE 2 displays a style that ref lects at least one of the f ollowing: simplistic or inaccurate
word choice; monotonous or f ragmented sentence structure, inappropriate

SCALE 1 displays a style which creates a disconnect between sound and sense, one in which
language word choice and syntax obscure meaning, unacceptable

SWE CONV Scale 5

SCALE 6 exhibits mastery of the conventions of Standard Written English, masterf ul

SCALE 5 demonstrates competence in the conventions of Standard Written English,

competent

SCALE 4 observes conventions of Standard Written English, acceptable

SCALE 3 may deviate f rom the conventions of Standard Written English by displaying
occasional major errors in grammar and usage or f requent minor errors

SCALE 2 repeatedly deviates f rom the conventions of Standard Written English by displaying
many repeated errors in grammar and usage

SCALE 1 consistently deviates f rom the conventions of Standard Written English., displaying a
pervasive pattern of errors in word choice, sentence structure, grammar and usage,
unacceptable

FORMAT Scale 6

SCALE 6 exhibits mastery of the conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat. masterf ul

SCALE 5 demonstrates competence in the conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat.

competent

SCALE 4 observes conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat. acceptable

SCALE 3 may deviate f rom the conventions of manuscript citation manuscript citation and
f ormat.
SCALE 2 repeatedly deviates f rom the conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat.

SCALE 1 consistently deviates f rom the conventions of manuscript citation and f ormat.
unacceptable