Two Successes: This is really a wonderful definition--so very close to an A in my mind.

Your explanations are lucid,

your graphics add meaning, your organization is spot on--great work! Two Challenges: I would love to see you revise
this for your portfolio. Here's what I'd suggest: 1. Ask a non-Bio science major which parts of this defintion are
why, language, elevation
inaccessible for them to revise accordingly. 2. Say why scientists use the methods you describe so well. Not just "to
separate proteins," WHY do we want to separate proteins in a lab? Can you give an example in which a separated
protein has applications to human (or other animal/plant) wellness? Great potential here.

keep working on 1-sent. def: are the aminos or the proteins "involved in a plethora..."? add a heading with
your name, etc.
also, keep working for a more specific word than "essential."

comma Audience's needs

redundant

a good intro, though slightly

too elevated in language

and

which?

great history! even better if

you name some tools they
used.
 cool graphic, but wrap text
around it to give it more
room--it's too small to read.

Audience's needs

Audience's needs

examples would help. if you have

them later, refer to them here.
 s which? new? biological? Pro or Ref

Give a specific example to illustrate

 Audience's needs

good

Audience's needs

explain

why would this be good? explain

Go a little further, explain WHY scientist use this method
great descriptions of
methods! Just add
WHY scientists do this.
so good!
YA_Definition_S19
ORIGINALITY REPORT

5 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
3%
INT ERNET SOURCES
1%
PUBLICAT IONS
1%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
www.canberra.edu.au
Int ernet Source 1%
2
mro.massey.ac.nz
Int ernet Source 1%
3
Patrícia P Couto, Luciana Bastos-Rodrigues,
Hagit Schayek, Flavia M Melo et al. "Spectrum
1%
of germline mutations in smokers and non-
smokers in Brazilian non-small-cell lung cancer
(NSCLC) patients", Carcinogenesis, 2017
Publicat ion

4
Linder, M. C.. "Ceruloplasmin and other copper
binding components of blood plasma and their
1%
functions: an update", Metallomics, 2016.
Publicat ion

5
centaur.reading.ac.uk
Int ernet Source 1%
6
en.wikipedia.org
Int ernet Source 1%
Exclude quotes On Exclude matches < 4 words
Exclude bibliography On
YA_Definition_S19
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

132
PAGE 1
/150

Text Comment. T wo Successes: T his is really a wonderf ul def inition--so very close to an
A in my mind. Your explanations are lucid, your graphics add meaning, your organization is spot
on--great work! T wo Challenges: I would love to see you revise this f or your portf olio. Here's
what I'd suggest: 1. Ask a non-Bio science major which parts of this def intion are inaccessible
f or them to revise accordingly. 2. Say why scientists use the methods you describe so well. Not
just "to separate proteins," WHY do we want to separate proteins in a lab? Can you give an
example in which a separated protein has applications to human (or other animal/plant)
wellness? Great potential here.

Text Comment. why, language, elevation

Text Comment. add a heading with your name, etc.

Text Comment. keep working on 1-sent. def : are the aminos or the proteins "involved in a
plethora..."?

Text Comment. also, keep working f or a more specif ic word than "essential."

QM Audience's needs
Always consider the education and experience of your readers when you write. If you are writing
to general audience, you will need to def ine scientif ic words or terms and concepts that are
specif ic to your f ield. Likewise, you will need to explain any background to which you ref er. On
the other hand, a specialized audience may f ind such def initions and explanations unnecessary.

Text Comment. comma

 QM redundant
somewhere in this sentence, you've used words that are unnecessary because other words in
the same sentence already serve your purpose (as in "f ree gif t").

Text Comment. a good intro, though slightly too elevated in language

Text Comment. and

Text Comment. which?

Text Comment. great history! even better if you name some tools they used.

PAGE 2

Text Comment. cool graphic, but wrap text around it to give it more room--it's too small to
read.

QM Audience's needs
Always consider the education and experience of your readers when you write. If you are writing
to general audience, you will need to def ine scientif ic words or terms and concepts that are
specif ic to your f ield. Likewise, you will need to explain any background to which you ref er. On
the other hand, a specialized audience may f ind such def initions and explanations unnecessary.

QM Audience's needs
Always consider the education and experience of your readers when you write. If you are writing
to general audience, you will need to def ine scientif ic words or terms and concepts that are
specif ic to your f ield. Likewise, you will need to explain any background to which you ref er. On
the other hand, a specialized audience may f ind such def initions and explanations unnecessary.

Text Comment. examples would help. if you have them later, ref er to them here.

PAGE 3

Text Comment. new? biological?

Text Comment. s

Text Comment. which?

QM Pro or Ref
Check all your pronouns and ref erences. If it's not obvious to whom or what they ref er, make it
obvious by using the specif ic noun again.
 Text Comment. Give a specif ic example to illustrate

PAGE 4

QM Audience's needs
Always consider the education and experience of your readers when you write. If you are writing
to general audience, you will need to def ine scientif ic words or terms and concepts that are
specif ic to your f ield. Likewise, you will need to explain any background to which you ref er. On
the other hand, a specialized audience may f ind such def initions and explanations unnecessary.

Text Comment. good

QM Audience's needs
Always consider the education and experience of your readers when you write. If you are writing
to general audience, you will need to def ine scientif ic words or terms and concepts that are
specif ic to your f ield. Likewise, you will need to explain any background to which you ref er. On
the other hand, a specialized audience may f ind such def initions and explanations unnecessary.

Text Comment. explain

Text Comment. why would this be good? explain

PAGE 5

Text Comment. Go a little f urther, explain WHY scientist use this method

PAGE 6

Text Comment. great descriptions of methods! Just add WHY scientists do this.

PAGE 7

PAGE 8

PAGE 9

Text Comment. so good!

RUBRIC: 36 3 DEFINITION RUBRIC

RHET . FOCUS Prof icient

SLO #1: Write f ormally and inf ormally, in-class and out-of -class, f or a variety of audiences and purposes.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC language needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to def ine or term or
concept)isn't clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine or term or
concept) may be unclear at times, and it may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT Shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas and using
audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine or term or concept) may be
implied, but it's clear and achieved.

ADVANCED Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine a term or
concept) is clear and achieved with style.

ET HIC RESRCH Advanced

SLO #2: Using the appropriate major’s customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate inf ormation
f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses incorrectly quotation marks and/or MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
BASIC (number system) parenthetical citations and works cited list. Many citation errors.
Does not cite f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources. May be over-reliant on
a single source.

DEVELOPING A f ew errors in quotation marks, MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)

parenthetical citations and works cited list. May cite superf icially f rom sources. May
be over-reliant on a single source.

PROFICIENT Correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)
parenthetical citations and works cited list. May have 1-2 citation errors. Cites f rom a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ADVANCED Consistently and correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
(number system) in-text (parenthetical) and end-of -text (ref erence list) citations f or
all sources, whether quoted directly or paraphrased. Cites f rom a variety of discipline-
appropriate sources. Never over-reliant on a single source.

PERS/SUPPORT Prof icient

SLO #3: Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the
relative merits of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.

ABSENT OR BELOW Fails to support claims with specif ic explanations, examples, etc.. Objectivity may be
BASIC lacking.
DEVELOPING Attempts to support claims with explanations, examples, etc., but specif icity and/or
objectivity may be lacking.

PROFICIENT Usually supports the def inition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specif ic
explanations, examples, etc.. Usually maintains objectivity.

ADVANCED Supports the def inition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specif ic explanations,
examples, etc.. Maintains objectivity.

ORGANIZ AT ION Advanced

SLO #4: Organize, f ocus, and communicate one’s thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical
situation.

ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical partitioning;
BASIC topic sentences, headings, transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or
illogically connected. Ps contain multiple topics or are disorganized.

DEVELOPING Organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical partitioning;

topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad,
or inconsistenly or illogically linked. Ps may not be unif ied.

PROFICIENT Clear organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical

partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and
topics together adequately. Ps are usually unif ied.

ADVANCED Clear, specif ic organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical
partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and
topics together logically and seamlessly. Paragraphs are unif ied.

LANG & DESIGN Prof icient

SLO # 5: Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express
and inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.

ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Language may
BASIC ref lect a gender or cultural bias or be too high or too low. Design may be
unconventional and inef f ective.

DEVELOPING Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors of ten impede readability or otherwise
distract f rom meaning. Style may be either too high or too low. Language may
occasionally suggest a gender or cultural bias. Design may be inconventional or
inef f ective.

PROFICIENT Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom
meaning. Middle-level-style. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences.
Design is conventional and ef f ective.

ADVANCED Outstanding control of language, with middle-level style, including ef f ective diction
and sentence variety. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is
conventional and ef f ective.