But have you ever wondered why you sometimes can't seem to get through to the people you
want to motivate? Do you wonder why some people fail and others succeed in bringing out the
best in others? If you want to improve your motivational skills, “Bringing Out The Best In Others”
by Alan Loy McGinnis is the book for you. In this book, McGinnis shares the 12 principles for
motivating people that you can apply in your family, work, and other areas of life.
I.The Longing For Inspiration
The first thing you need to know is that almost everyone wants to be inspired. All behavior is
caused, and everyone is motivated. Most people are not lazy or lethargic by nature, in fact most
people always have enormous energies to do what they want. The key to motivating people,
then, is to learn how to channel already existing energies within people into worthwhile
endeavors.
Most people will welcome the manager who can teach them to enjoy their work, or the teacher
who will impart a love of learning. Most people will welcome a leader who can inspire them to
excel.
You can be this leader if you learn to apply and live the 12 principles for bringing out the best in
people.
II. Inspiring Change
Most of us do want to change people. But how can we motivate them to change without
manipulating or bullying them. How can one be a helping, inspiring leader and still respect
people and leave them free?
Put yourself in the role of clarifier. Allow people to assume responsibility for the changes they
want to make. Ask questions like:
Allow people to set their own goals, and assume ownership of such goals. In this way, they
become more committed to achieving them, and will strive to work to be consistent in keeping
such commitments. This shows people the great power that can be gained from setting goals for
themselves.
This also sets the stage for changes in self-perception, of seeing themselves differently, more
positively and more confidently. When we set concrete objectives and determine a definite road
map for getting there, it can be transformational.
Conversely, if you adopt a negative attitude and believe the worst of people, you become a
police-type leader who is always on the lookout for mistakes. As a result, you become more
likely to see people's worst sides; the people you lead become defensive and self-protective.
Instead of encouraging people's potential or hidden talents, you dampen or discourage them.
Take the example of a child who was caught stealing by her/his parent. If the parent says,
“You're a thief, and from now on, I'll be watching you”, this may be the surest way of making him
steal more and actually turning him into a thief.
If, on the other hand, the parent says, “This was not like you at all. We need to return what you
took and clear this up, but we're not going to make a big deal of it. What you did was wrong and
you know it was wrong, but we're sure you're not going to do it again,” the child will, most
probably, never steal again.
By assuming a negative attitude and reflecting back to people all the data about their
weaknesses, you put them in touch with their faults and their behavior becomes worse. By
assuming a positive attitude and concentrating on their strengths, you put them in contact with
their good attributes and their behavior becomes better.
Believe in people. Always believe that people have the best of intentions. Believe that people
can change, and change for the better. Treat them with this positive attitude, show that you
have high expectations of them and equally sure that they are capable of reaching them, and
more often than not, people will live up to them. And then, try to create an environment in which
people not only can discover their gifts but also develop them.
By looking at and treating people positively, we also help them develop a more positive self-
concept or self-image.
You also need to know about the other person's beliefs. So much of a person's emotional life
and behavior stems from the convictions at the core of his or her existence. All people have
belief systems, however buried, and until we get some idea of this, until we learn what people
value and what they want in life, we cannot expect to build a successful plan for motivating
them.
The hands-off approach does not work at home anymore than in the classroom or workplace.
Most studies show that parents who run a tight ship and who are fairly strict produce the most
secure children. Kids may complain about the rules, but they usually grow up more ambitious,
happier, and better-adjusted.
If you want to show you care about your family or your staff, then you care about how
successful they are, and you devote time and energy to helping them learn to excel.
Setting high standards for excellence also provides direction for people, as well as goals to work
for. At the same time, make sure that you set realistic, achievable standards and expectations of
people.
In setting high standards, you also need to deal with situations when people do not live up to
them. Keep in mind the following when you need to do this: deal with it immediately, confirm the
facts and make sure your information is correct, be very specific in telling people what they have
done wrong, limit your criticism/reprimand to their act or behavior, not to their motives or
character, and don't be afraid to show your feelings – frustration, anger, annoyance.
Also, if you reprimand, you need to be prepared to be unpopular with the people you give the
reprimands to. Remember that you need to be firm as this will inspire confidence in you.
Leadership does not mean winning popularity contests. Demanding leadership is always the
most compelling and the most successful.
How can you do this? One way is through personal example. Let them see you fail, and show
them how you handle failure. Richard J. Needham says, “Strong people make as many and as
ghastly mistakes as weak people. The difference is that strong people admit them, laugh at
them, learn from them. That is how they become strong.”
Help your people handle failure and/or rejection. Provide a secure environment, a safe refuge,
and do everything possible to get them back on their feet.
So while setting high standards, you need to be prepared to help those who fail to live up to
them initially and nurture them into trying again and again until they succeed.
5.If They Are Going Anywhere Near Where You Want To Go, Climb On Other People's
Bandwagons
John Lubbock once said that it is important not so much that every child should be taught as
that every child should be given the wish to learn. This means that motivation does not only
mean pushing people to do better, but instilling in people's minds the drive to learn and succeed
so that they will continue to do so, even when you are no longer there to push them.
This means getting interested in what they are interested in, showing enthusiasm in what they
are enthusiastic about, and encouraging people to pursue their own interests and goals.
Stories of other people convince us because they appeal to our hearts rather than our heads.
They appeal to the subconscious rather than the conscious mind, and motivation is basically the
heightening of emotion.
Provide the message that if other great people have achieved success, your people can do it,
too. Ultimately, this contributes to creating an atmosphere of enthusiasm and hope in your
family or group.
Always be on the lookout for positive change. There is nothing more demoralizing than to
change at great expense, and then seeing our superiors allow the change to go unnoticed.
Be certain that you are teaching them to avoid certain behavior, not to avoid you. This
means maintaining a warm, trusting relationship with your people and teaching people to
fear, not you, but the consequences of their actions. This means teaching children, and
adults, that life is a series of choices, and that certain choices lead to certain results.
Follow the undesired behavior with immediate action.
Establish a way to halt the negative stimulus as soon as the behavior stops.
If negative stimulus control does not seem to be working, try shaping the absence of the
behavior. That is, give positive reinforcement to anything other than the undesired
behavior.
Learn to appeal to anger as well. Appealing to anger and the competitive spirit tends to pull
people together.
Thus, ensure collaboration in your family or workplace as this will be more effective in
encouraging positive results. High-morale organizations care individually and collectively about
quality, performance, success and the sustainability of the organization.
Maintain a collaborative atmosphere by ensuring fairness, respect for the individual, and a fun
atmosphere. Reward cooperation. Assign responsibility for group morale to the group itself. Plan
occasions when people can be away together, as this encourages creativity and bonding.
Defuse problems by letting people ventilate. You need to devote time and energy to listening to
people‟s complaints. Ventilating complaints can take out much of the venom of potential
troublemakers.
Help resolve conflicts among members of your group, instead of keeping a hands-off attitude or
telling people that you don‟t want to hear about their squabbles. This may actually worsen the
situation.
Also, allow for some inexplicable behavior, or temporary insanity, or whatever you may want to
call it. Keep in mind that people may sometimes act irrationally.