1) Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings more problems

than benefit – Do you think that being a celebrity brings more problems.

Being a celebrity brings problems or not. (You cannot start your essay with a question) I believe that
if we consider both advantages and disadvantages are more than their demerits. It’s It is a human Commented [AT1]: This sentence has no subject. It
nature that everyone wants fame, respect and money although a popular celebrity has all of them. should be like “Its merits are more obvious than its
demerits.”
For instant instance, Pakistani prime minister, Imran khan, Pakistani P.M basically he is basically
famous worldwide but now he is P.M prime minister (do not use short forms), he elected by majority Commented [AT2]: You have repeated the idea of prime
of people even oppositions like him. minister multiple times.

Secondly, a celebrity has respect in society although he/she rarely takes time for family and friends
which creates barriers in these mentioned relations, but even these are ignorable problems are
ignorable when compared to their than benefits. Commented [AT3]: This paragraph is discussing problems
so you cannot number it as “Secondly”
Furthermore, celebrities even can can even work after their retirements in deferent different NGO’s
and pay their attention in charities and serve common people. For instant instance, famous boxer
Muhammad Ali he served prop (What is a “prop”?) children. Commented [AT4]: This paragraph is not discussing
celebrity’s fame which is the main topic of this essay.
Moreover, a celebrity’s family friends can take benefits in case of his/her presence in marriage Commented [AT5]: What kind of benefits could be
ceremony and funerals which ultimately increase respect in society legally. Indian super star, taken?
Shahrukh Khan, for instant instance, often attends his family occasions. Commented [AT6]: This word legally is not needed here
because respect is always acquired legally.
On the contrary, a big problem which almost every celebrity faces face in is with news reporters who
Commented [AT7]: Verb attend is used only for
highlight every tiny activities activity, which has mostly spoilt privacy. Recently, for example, One of occasions. You didn’t mention the result of this; meaning
one female celebrity in boy wood Bollywood met with her boy friend boyfriend casually, but news what happens when Shahrukh visits his family?

reporter represented it in a wrong way as they want people to attract spicy news. It may be wrong
or right.

Finally, being popular in society bring problems or not. (You have again used an interrogative
structure here) Which is comparably less than other others benefits beneficial aspects like fame,
money, serving poor people and so on. Commented [AT8]: This is not a proper conclusion.

Remarks:

Task response is not complete as this essay is of 242 words only (it should be 250 words long). There
is also no conclusion.

Coherence is lacking in many paragraphs and repetition of ideas is common. Cohesion is visible in
many paragraphs but has been used inaccurately in some areas.

Lexical resource (Vocabulary) is quite common and spelling mistakes are frequent.

Grammatical range is very limited, usually repetitive and not very accurate.

Possible Band: 5 to 5.5

2) The continued rise in world’s population is the greatest threat faced by humanity at
present time. Do you agree?
Currently, world’s growing population is a main problem or not comparing to other problems. I do
agree, in this era, this main problem which we are facing in world population is due to limited
natural resources, technology and so on. (don’t put ‘so on’) World’s population is main problem
because if we consider natural resources like trees and plantations which is very important (your
sentence is incomplete. Conditional tense is not complete) to main our for fresh oxygen in
environment but competition of construction/ development removing their (word is missing)
specially in urban area so people from urban areas faces face many health issues. In UAE, as per
news report, 90% of total population have deficiency in vitamins.

Secondly, its it is quite obvious for higher authorities to monitor and control their public issues like
every year. allot A lot of student are passing from colleges and universities ratio if government not
provide them job opportunities less resources more unemployment which cause frustrations ratio in
young generation which can be crime and suicide in environment. (conditional sentence is not
complete; there are always two sentences required to complete this sentence)

On the contrary, a part apart (it is a single word) from world population, there are more problems
available like water availability(you didn’t explain it; don’t use extra examples if don’t want to
explain it), global warming which charge change climate Initially temperature raises around 40
degree centigrade no 50 degree centigrade and more which also should consider and take care of by
providing awareness to people and control waste from carbon y industrialisation. (there is no break
in your sentences. You have continuously written one full sentence in this paragraph)

Comparing with other problems, population is a big problem because its consequences impacts is
unaltered (helping verb was missing. Also, your meaning is not clear) by almost everyone in system
because of limited resources and fast-growing industrialization.

(228 words)

Problems with this essay:

1- It is not fulfilling the words criteria of 250. No matter what, you always have to complete 250
words.

2- Put commas after adverbs if they are at the start of a sentence.

3- Your sentences are mostly joined together. For example, your first sentence is not clear about
what you are trying to say. I have cut the words where you were making mistakes. Your conditional
tenses (if) and relative clauses (which) are also incorrect.

4- You make a lot of mistakes in plurals, articles(a, an, the) and helping verbs(is, am, are).

5- You have repeated the word main problem multiple times in this essay.

6- Your introduction is very large. Keep it short. Discuss main points in 2nd and 3rd paragraph.

7- Use commas, full stop and apostrophe appropriately. I have punctuated your essay in red colour,
so you can see where they are needed.
 3) In some countries and increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as
a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose
a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree?

Some countries think consider unhygienic unhealthy food like fast food can only be barricaded by
implementing tax on it. Others argue that other thinks this is not the only the way. I disagree by with
the former approach that implement / imposing tax on fast food can reduce their consumption. As
we all know that fast food how commonly fast food causes for cholesterol, sugar and blood pressure
in our society, so instead of implementing surplus charges on less nutritional unhygienic food items,
we should consider other solutions factors which can have impressive impressively results rather
than implementation of tax.

First and foremost, its a have nature stopping them (this sentence is incorrect) by implement tax
because reason of increase in demand, so it would be better to provide them proper and effective
awareness by advertised school trainings. Parents may play a vital role to feed their kids from
childhoods. But unfortunately, parents mostly don’t care about their kids’ eating habits feed. One of
my friend friends, for instant instance, doesn’t does not eat oily cousins cuisines because he grew in
a doctor’s family so they are more conscious about their health and diet.

Furthermore, people don’t compromise their taste so we can have hygiene more nutritional recipes
of famous chefs who try to start some foods come up with healthy food recipes so that people can
be convinced to healthy foods. In Pakistan, for instant instance, majority of people suffering in from
blood pressure and diabetes because not only fast food but the reason but (this line is missing
something, therefore, does not makes sense) other factors their excess of spice , oil etc. It is quite
obvious that where production is less than demand, so people start making artificial ingredients to
fulfil their demand.

On the other hand, by implementing tax, government can reduce demand but that effect affects
only lower and middle classes not the upper class. We can provide them awareness which gives
impressive outcomes.

Finally, but by implementing tax, can we can convince people that fast food demand or not! (There is
no need to mention this point because you disagree with it) I disagree with that we can reduce
demand by considering other factors by providing health awareness, parents to ensure hygienic
growth by encouraging chefs to provide same food but healthy integrands(what is this word?).

306 words

Problems with this essay:

1- Replace the word ‘factors’ with ‘approaches’ or ‘solutions’

2- Many tenses are not correct, such as present indefinite, past simple and modal verbs like
can and could.
3- Some sentences are lacking correct use of articles (a, an, the) and plurals.
4- You mentioned the other side before conclusion. This is not needed.
5- Punctuation is also not used correctly.