Mercy College 2019 Commencement Address

Given by Dr. Jeremy Kohomban

President of The Children’s Village

President, Dr. Tim Hall, Provost, Dr. Jose Herrera, Dean for the School of

Social and Behavioral Science – Dr. Karol Dean, Board Members, Faculty,

students, guest and graduates. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to

share this important day with you.

Speaking at this particular graduation of the School of Social and

Behavioral Sciences is a special honor, because I know that you want to

make the world a better place and you have the courage to take on this

challenge.

Creating change is never easy. As a student of the social and behavioral

sciences, you will enter a field that is extremely difficult to navigate but

deeply rewarding. Extremely difficult, because many amongst us do not

understand, or choose to intentional disregard the social injustice origins of

the problems we are asked to solve. Let me give you an example. Today’s

foster care and juvenile justice systems can be understood by looking at

the history of The Children’s Village. The Children’s Village was founded
in 1851 to care for children who were legally separated from their parents.

Who were these children? They were New York City’s poor. In 1851 they

were poor, white and mostly, Ashkenazi Jews and non-English speaking

European immigrants. By 1885, many of the children separated and

placed at The Children’s Village were Irish Catholic. No, they were not

children separated from abusive parents. They were separated from

parents who were burdened by abject poverty.

Today, the children legally separated from their parents in New York City

are still poor but disproportionately black and increasingly, they are brown.

They come mostly from the intentionally segregated neighborhoods of New

York City. In New York City and across our nation, Black children are

separated from their families faster, they stay longer in the system - -

sometimes their entire childhood, and they often exit with the worst

possible outcomes. Here is a fact you must remember. Almost 75% of the

children separated from parents each year are separated for neglect. Less

than 15% are separated for abuse. Neglect is a condition most closely

related to poverty. Neglect is not abuse, but most people want to believe

that we work with children who have been abused. This false assumption

makes our work difficult.

How can we accomplish change? We can and must put families back

together. What children need most is not more government or more

charity. What they need is family and unconditional belonging. No

government program or Charity, not even one as good as The Children’s

Village can be a family to a child. At The Children’s Village, we say that all

it takes is one appropriate adult. One appropriate adult, willing to give a

child unconditional belonging. At the Children’s Village I see people step-up

to this responsibility often. This is our reward. Creating family and

belonging for children who otherwise will grow-up alone, never

experiencing the love of family.

Let me leave you with one more thought that I am keenly attuned to.

Today we speak about race, inclusion and equity in ways that I could not

even dream about when I graduated. As you engage on these important

issues, remember this, Color is not a proxy for race!

Let me be explicit. Choosing a person of color, for example choosing a

person of color like me, does not mean that we have moved beyond our

terrible history of slavery, segregation and the near annihilation of our

native tribes. Too many among the historically disadvantage are still

excluded and not chosen. We must change this behavior. Don’t get me
wrong, I want to be chosen, but everyone deserves the privilege of being

chosen. Like all of you, I worked very hard, and I was prepared, but my

entire career success is a testament to being chosen, to being encouraged

and being included. It is easier to succeed when one is chosen,

encouraged and included.

The battle for equity will be long and it will take all of us of all colors, all

faiths and all backgrounds working together to win it. It will demand that

we push past the racial anxiety that too often prevents us from engaging

constructively with each other across the arbitrary and historical

separations of race, ethnicity and faith. We must engage if we are to create

the democracy that we all want, rather than the one we were given. Don’t

let the haters scare and divide us. Speak-up! I know that freedom of

speech is sometimes painful to listen to, but freedom of speech is our

greatest strength and our best protection. Listen and engage. Help others

understand your point-of-view and build consensus. Be open to people and

experiences. Be open, even to the haters. As you choose to lead in

diversity, you will find allies of all colors, all faiths and all backgrounds.

Here is a fact that you already know - we can’t change history, but every

day we can create new history.

As I stand before you today, what inspires most and what gives me the

most strength is the great American Paradox. Despite all that I have said

about our history and our pervasive social injustice. Here in this great

nation, poverty and rejection does not have to limit us. Sure, it makes the

journey harder, but here in these United States, people still achieve their

dreams every day. Any one of us in this room can be anything that we want

to be. Never forget this and never let the optimism you experience today

leave you.

Thank you. I hope to meet some of you in your journey as you make our

democracy stronger and change our world for the better.