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The signs of an abusive relationship

When you’re in a broken family and your role model is a violent male, boys grow up
believing that’s the way they’re supposed to act. And girls think that’s an accepted way
men will treat them.’ ~ Jim Costa, US Representative for California’s 20th congressional
district

South Africa has one of the highest incidences of domestic violence in the world. And,
sadly, domestic violence is the most common and widespread human rights abuse in
South Africa. Every day, women are murdered, physically and sexually assaulted,
threatened and humiliated by their partners, within their own homes.

Your thoughts and feelings Your partner/spouse’s behaviour

Do you: Does your partner/spouse:


 feel afraid of your  often humiliate or yell at you?
partner/spouse most of the time?  criticise you and put you down?
 avoid certain topics out of fear of  treat you so badly that you’re
angering your partner/spouse? embarrassed for your friends or family
 feel that you can’t do anything to see?
right for your partner/spouse?  ignore or put down your opinions
 believe that you deserve to be or accomplishments?
hurt or abused?  blame you for their own abusive
 wonder at times that you are the behaviour?
one who is crazy?  see you as property or a sex
 feel emotionally numb or object, rather than as a person?
helpless?
Your partner/spouse’s controlling
Your partner/spouse’s violent behaviour behaviour
or threats
Does your partner/spouse:
Does your partner/spouse:  act excessively jealous and
 have a bad and unpredictable possessive?
temper?  control where you go or what
 hurt you, or threaten to hurt or you do?
kill you?  keep you from seeing your
 threaten to take your children friends or family?
away or harm them?  limit your access to money, the
 threaten to commit suicide if you phone or the vehicle
leave?  constantly check up on you?
 force you to have sex?
 destroy your belongings?