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HER VISION,Tuesday, May 28, 2019 31


Assess your relationship for a problem
Dear Jayne,
The way you have described
would also have observed this
behaviour to help you make

HE FLIRTS EVEN IN MY PRESENCE your husband’s behaviour

indicates something
deeper than you may
him realise the seriousness
of his actions. Is this a
recent development
imagine. or has he had it for a
Dear Counsellor, It is not possible that long time? This could
My husband is all these women that also be a symptom of
so flirtatious. he touches and flirts an underlying problem
Even when I am there, with necessarily welcome that arises out of the
he is always touching or enjoy his behaviour. relationship between the two
other women and Legally, this could in some of you.
telling them jokes with instances tantamount to sexual You may need to have a candid
harassment and may lead him into and objective assessment of your
love innuendos. I have trouble. For his sake and for the sake relationship with him, with a view of
complained several times, of your family, you need to bring to his determining whether this is the source
but in vain. What should attention the likely legal implications of of the problem. This is such a serious
I do? his actions. concern that you may need one on one
One should find out whether flirting is part of their spouse’s Any society is governed by prescribed support from a counselling psychologist
Jayne character and then find a solution norms and the description of your to make proper assessment of the
husband seems to negate normative problem. You may contact Her Vision to

behaviour. refer you for further support.
Surely, it may not be only you noticing
this behaviour. It would be helpful for CLEMENCE BYOMUHANGI
you to request significant others who COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGIST

Stop being insecure Your husband is

Confront him about his behaviour
I am sorry, but not only is your husband
Flirting can be fun, but it can also immoral, he is also so disrespectful. He It is good that you have seen this happening. Does your husband consider
be hurtful. However, it varies from does not respect you nor the marriage his behaviour flirtatious as you do, or does he look at it differently? Why do
individual to individual and more institution. He has no love for you you think he is not responding to your complaints? Would it be helpful for
often than not, it is completely whatsoever. I even wonder how you you to understand what he thinks of his behaviour? Perhaps by inquiring
harmless. hang in there when it is obvious he from him the motivations and purpose for his actions? Since complaining
However, when in a relationship, wants you to walk out. Ultimately, it is has not worked for you, talk to him about how that behaviour makes you
flirting can become offensive and you to decide where to draw the line. feel, as his wife, what it could mean to those he flirts with and what possible
disrespectful, as well as creating Familiarity breeds contempt and for your consequences it could have for him.
chance for jealousy and other you and do not look at the flirting case, push has already come to shove. Humphery Rwabugahya
such negative emotions, from your as a problem. Instead, look at the Put your foot down and scram before
partner who is often left to feel
reasons behind his flirting.
It is up to you to look at your
you are officially pushed out.
You may not bring an end to confidence and get to grips with Phoebe Miriam
his flirting, but you can at least why it makes you feel insecure. Dear Counsellor,
alter the situation in which it takes If you cannot tolerate his flirting Pray for your husband At first, I called my husband’s behaviour SEND YOUR
place. When in a relationship, anymore, then express your Your husband has lost respect for you and ADVICE TO
love, but now I realise that he is controlling hervision@
know and understand their feelings, which will ease the tension the marriage. You need to see a religious
character. If flirting is one of your than bottling up all of the negative leader and ask them to talk and pray with me. He does not want me to wear any
husband’s personality traits, you feelings. Otherwise, you both need you as a couple. Above all, commune with makeup, he told me to keep my hair short
need to accept it as being part of to learn to accept each other for God, pray and fast about your marriage. and only wants me to wear long clothes.
him, just like any other habit of his who you really are. He is under some sort of demonic frenzy.
that you find distasteful.
Whenever I do something different, he gets angry and
Focus on what is important to Robert Mugenyi, marriage counsellor Ayikoru Estelle Alio aggressive. What should I do? Worried Wife