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Slide 1: Hello, everyone!

My name is Ryan Jobby, and today, I am going to be


talking to you about ways to deal with rejection. Rejection can be a tough thing to
deal with. Whether you get rejected from a job you applied for, you get rejected
by the girl you like, or even something as simple as having an idea you
suggested during group work get turned down. Regardless, it can really CRUSH
your self-esteem and can be tough to recover from.

Slide 2: Let me tell you a story. This story is about a girl. But, out of respect for
her, let’s just call this girl Amanda. Now, I had met Amanda in my 9th Grade AP
science class. And, from the first time I saw her, she was undoubtedly the most
beautiful person I had ever met in my life.

Slide 3: Her smile so bright, even the sun would be a disappointing comparison.
A laugh so contagious, you couldn’t help but laugh with her. Her eyes the same
as a large festival, because I always get lost in them. Everything about her was
just amazing, she was so beautiful.

Slide 4: Throughout the class, I had begun talking to her more and more, and my
affection for her grew greater and greater with every passing day. She was
intelligent, athletic, pretty, but most of all, kind. Growing up I won’t lie I wasn’t
accepted by many people. But Amanda was different. From the moment I met
her, she was always such a generous person and accepted me for who I was.

Slide 5: Just being around her made me so much happier. I remember there
were even days that my only reason to get out of bed and to go to school was to
see her in science. There were just so many new emotions that I had never felt
before. It was a weird sensation that I can’t describe. But there was one, simple
explanation: I had a crush on her.

Slide 6: Now, fast-forward a bit into the semester, to an event called semi. Semi
was a semi-formal dance held at Fed Hall, so I don’t think I need to give an
explanation on what it is. Anyways, I had chosen to attend semi and so did
Amanda. Now, it is common for those who have a crush on someone to ask them
to slow dance when a slow song comes on. So, as intellectual as I am, I had an
idea: to ask Amanda to dance with me.
Slide 7: So I’m at semi, and I am having a great time, dancing with my friends
and enjoying the overall vibe. It comes to the end of the dance, and the DJ
begins to play the final song, Perfect by Ed Sheeran . This was it. The moment I
had been waiting for. My palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy.
Thankfully I didn’t have any of my mom’s spaghetti on me. But I see Amanda on
the dancefloor. With my heart, racing faster than Lightning Macqueen, I begin to
approach her.

Slide 8: As I walk towards her, all these thoughts run through my head. “What’s
gonna happen?” “Will this work?” “What should I have for dinner when I get
home?” I finally reach her. “Hey Amanda,” I said, “do you wanna dance?”
“ No Ryan, I’m sorry. I think we should just be friends.” and she walked away. I
swear for a moment my heart had stopped beating. I was shaken.

Slide 9: I can honestly tell you that that was one of the most heart-breaking
experiences of my life. I know it sounds stupid, but it’s true. I was tremendously
upset. All my motivation to go to school and to do work was gone. My grades
started dropping, I was gaining more weight, it was a terrible time for me. My
heart broke into a million pieces that night. But, on the bright side, at least she
didn’t promise to dance with me, and then dance with someone else. Oh, wait...

Slide 10: But, regardless of how heartbreaking this experience was, there was a
lot to learn from it. And that is my main reason for talking to you today. I am going
to give you tips that can help you deal with rejection and better yourself so in
future experiences, you can succeed. Now obviously this will work for rejections
from those who you have a crush on, but it will work for any situation where you
might’ve been rejected. Step 1: Eat an entire tub of ice cream. No, I’m joking, I’m
joking please don’t do that.

Slide 11: The actual step 1 is acceptance. Something you should do whenever
you get rejected is learning to accept it. Trust me when I say I have a lot of
trouble of acceptance. As humans, we generally tend to blame our downfalls or
mistakes or losses on anything but ourselves. Who here has gotten a bad mark
on a test and blamed the teacher? This is just one example of how we tend to
move the blame away from others rather than accept the fact we messed up.
Slide 12: This is something that I struggled with a lot when I got rejected. I made
up excuses left, right and centre, thinking things like “the word that I liked
Amanda had spread too quickly and she became uncomfortable” or “I never
really liked Amanda anyways”. But when we blame other things or people, we
only get instant gratification and can never truly understand that we messed up.
So next time, understand that the rejection happened for a reason and don’t
make excuses. This leads to my next point.

Slide 13: Step 2: understanding. After you have accepted that you had messed
up, try to understand why. For example, if you apply to a job and don’t get it,
don’t just be sad and move on. Try to understand what went wrong, and how you
can improve so that next time, you can be successful. Effectively analyze
everything that lead up to the rejection, and try to understand where you might’ve
gone wrong.

Slide 14: A good way to try and find out where you went wrong is to ask yourself
questions to help better understand the situation. Relating back to the job
example, you could ask questions such as, “Was I not qualified enough?” “Was
there something wrong with my resume?” “Did I mess up my interview?”. After
asking yourself these questions involving possible sources of error, you can then
come up with ways to fix those issues. This will allow you to improve from your
mistakes and move forward more knowledgable due to experience.

Slide 15: Understanding that you messed up can be difficult to grasp. Going
back to Amanda, I had to try and understand the reasons that I had gotten
rejected. Looking back on it, it was pretty clear to see that not only did my flirting
methods need some work, but I was also a pretty annoying person. I mean, I still
am, but that’s beside the point. Understanding that there were spots where I
messed up helped me better understand why what happened, happened. And
surprisingly, this helped me get over what happened. Now, I’m going to talk
about my last point.

Slide 16: Step 3: take time to process it. This step is mainly for more serious
rejections. Generally, when we get rejected, we tend to pretend like everything is
ok and try to go on living our normal lives. But pushing those feelings or emotions
away will only make the situation worse. Instead, take time to let it settle in. It
might hurt a little bit. Or it might hurt a lot. It could last for a little bit. Or it could
last for a long time. But you should learn to accept those feelings and in the long
run, it will be less painful. I’m not saying that it won’t hurt every once in a while.

Slide 17: In fact, I can assure this relating back to Amanda. For the first two
weeks, I tried to push those feelings away and move on. But, this would result in
those feelings appearing during unexpected moments, and within an instant, I
would become sad again. It was after these first two weeks that I realized letting
those feelings in and accepting them would I feel better and move on. It is hard,
but it can majorly influence how you live your life.

Slide 18: So how does this all relate to leadership? Well, there are many ways.
One example could be involving group work. Often times as a leader you are
required to complete tasks with others. It is common for your ideas to be rejected
when you are working in a group, and despite being very minor, the first 2 steps
still can assist you. Another time you might deal with rejection in leadership can
be when applying for leadership positions, an example being leadership exec.
And, it is a very real possibility that you can get rejected. But again, following the
steps I have given you, you can learn from your experience and succeed in the
future.

Slide 19: Now, before I finish off my presentation, I just want to make a couple of
final remarks. Firstly, I want to say that rejection really can help you succeed. In
elementary school, my school had a school soccer team. And every year, I would
try out and get cut. And again, it sounds small, but I really took it to heart. But,
the cuts kept motivating me to work harder on my soccer skills. Then, finally, in
grade 8, I made the team. I know it’s not the most amazing feat, but it shows that
my failure had helped me succeed.

Slide 20: Failure is one of the steps of success. So, it is important to understand,
that in some way, rejection is actually good. Because it shows that you are one
step closer to succeeding at whatever you want. Obviously, I have not gotten a
girlfriend yet. But that doesn’t mean that I haven’t gotten closer. And who knows,
maybe one day, I’ll find the Amanda meant for me. And I have understood that all
the rejections in my life, and trust me there are lots, has helped me improve as a
person and increased my ability to be successful in life. I hope that you can all
take something away from my presentation. Thank you.