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beyond words

with mixing business and reli-


gion, Cathy viewed his role as
deliberately spending time—his
scarcest resource—to reinforce
We’re all familiar the company’s values.
Presence and accessibility.
with managers who You can think of presence and
accessibility in four ways: phys-
pride themselves on ical, social, intellectual and
emotional. Each has its diffi-
having an open door. culties. We’re all familiar with
managers who pride themselves
But how many pride on having an open door. But
how many announce their
themselves on keeping availability for impromptu
collaboration with hourly
an open mind when employees? More important,
how many pride themselves on
an employee offers a keeping an open mind when
an employee offers a process-
process-improvement improvement suggestion?
More common, I fear, are
suggestion? managers like those I met at a
factory in Tennessee, who made
clear they resented the inter-
ruption and viewed employee
suggestions as meddling. Far
from implementing any process
improvements suggested by
hourly workers, these managers
ignored them all. Something
tells me they’re still wondering
why employees are so cynical.

None of this is to say that


words do not matter. Far from
it. Words matter greatly.
Indeed, many of these atti-
tudes, behaviors and decisions
reveal themselves in the pres-
ence of words. But the words
count only to the extent that
people regard them as true and
real. For that, they look around
them, and they take notice.
SHUTTERSTOCK

At day’s end, people may or


may not hear what you say. But
they will always see what you
do, and seeing is believing. ●

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First
impressions
really matter
A conscious approach to controlling subconscious perceptions
by Tonya Reiman

I
n our complex world of and body, your movements and What gestures are you making,
high-tech communica- mannerisms, even your pitch and how should she react?
tions, we can get caught and vocal tone, body language She does this entire evalua-
up in the business-build- is everything you can do with tion, and much more, in a split
ing possibilities of new your body to say whatever it is second. Literally. When we meet
technology—blogs, social net- you’re trying to say. Or, interest- Researcher Alex Todorov
working, webinars, oh my! But ingly enough, sometimes what and his colleagues from Prince- someone for the
in our fascination with the you’re trying not to say. ton University have shown
promise of shiny new gadgets, that when we meet someone first time, we make our
we sometimes lose sight of The inescapable truth for the first time, we make
the fundamentals of face-to- of the first impression our initial judgments about initial judgments about
face human contact. And When a person first meets you, a person’s attractiveness, lik-
nothing is more fundamen- her brain scans you for hun- ability, trustworthiness, com- that person within 100
tal to communication than dreds of signs that will tell her petence and aggressiveness
body language. more about you and whether within 100 milliseconds—one- milliseconds—one-tenth
Research suggests that or not she can trust you. She’s tenth of one second. And
as much as 90 percent alert to how close you come once those impressions are of one second.
of human communi- as you approach her personal formed, they tend to become
cation is composed space, your facial expressions, even more ingrained.
of body language the smoothness of your move- You can control many of the
signals. Made up ments. She notes your sex, age, variables of your first impres-
of your facial race, grooming. She looks for sion and make them sway your
expressions, clues to social status. She looks audience in your favor with a
the way you at the dimensions of your face: bit of forethought, preparation
hold your How wide set are your eyes? and training. A few simple
hands How low is your forehead? techniques can help anyone

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beyond words

make a favorable first impres- concertgoer and the musical While a reasonable amount
sion on a group of skeptical performer) of eye contact is good, outright
reporters, a new business asso- ● Social (from 4 to 12 feet staring can be insulting, even
ciate or the employees of a apart, the “beach blanket scary. If you tend to stare, try
You can control prospective multinational part- zone”) visualizing a triangle on the
ner—whether in front of a ● Personal (from 2 to 4 feet other person’s face, made up of
many of the variables crowd of hundreds or, yes, even apart, the zone for friends the two eyes and the nose.
via a podcast or vlog. Just fol- and family) Move your eyes around within
of your first impression low these basic suggestions. ● Intimate (0 to 2 feet apart, that triangle so you can be sure
Get into a positive frame of the zone reserved exclusively you have appropriate eye con-
and make them sway mind. You’ve probably heard the for loved ones) tact without staring the other
expression “Fear is contagious.” person down.
your audience in your Even if you try to mask your While we don’t walk around Talk in a low tone of voice.
anxiety about a presentation, measuring these distances with Stress affects every muscle in
favor with a bit of fore- your audience will absorb your rulers, we do carry with us a the body, and our vocal chords
mood from your microexpres- kind of mental yardstick to are no exception. When we’re
thought, preparation sions, the fleeting expressions of gauge the appropriate space nervous, our voices become
emotion that flash across your to afford people in all settings. more high pitched. A high-
and training. face in as little as 1/25 of a sec- We humans are, by nature, pitched voice in women can
ond. These tiny muscular move- extremely territorial, and come across as ditzy, and in
ments sometimes go undetected invading someone’s personal men it is perceived as effemi-
by the conscious mind, but are space can cause him to have a nate. On the other hand, a low
eagerly absorbed by the uncon- visceral reaction. voice is considered dominant,
scious. In a 2000 study, Swedish The general rule is to main- giving the speaker power and
researchers used subliminal tain one full arm’s length influence in the situation.
techniques to show pictures of from each other, which gener- Before you go to the meet-
happy or angry faces to subjects ally turns into about 3 to ing, practice doing deep-
without their knowledge. Just 4 feet. Find a good solid breathing exercises, because
30 milliseconds—3/100 of a middle ground to ensure they’ll slow down the heart rate
second—of exposure was all it comfort for all. and allow the vocal chords to
took for the subjects’ correspon- Maintain eye contact 70 per- loosen, which will keep your
ding facial muscles to imitate cent of the time. Eye contact is pitch normal. A strong
the emotion, without them hav- crucial to demonstrating sin- approach is to use a low-
ing a clue what they’d seen. cerity and establishing trust. In pitched voice when you are
Before you begin your pre- the United States, the inability stressing a point.
sentation, take five to 10 very to maintain eye contact is Control your movements.
deep belly breaths and let them taken as a sign of disrespect, a Few things are as annoying as a
slowly out; this exercise will lack of personal confidence person jiggling his or her leg,
decrease your heart rate and or a short attention span—and tapping a pen cap, drumming
initiate a relaxation response in some cases, people might fingers on the table, or doing
that will help you appear less assume you’re a liar. Keep in any other repetitive movement
nervous and more confident. mind, though, that some cul- that serves no other purpose
Give more space rather than tures, such as those in South than as an outlet for nervous-
less. In 1966, nonverbal com- Asia, regard direct eye contact ness. For years, experts have rec-
munication expert Edward as threatening, rude, disre- ommended that people just not
Hall defined four zones of spectful or impolite. But in do those behaviors, but very
space in which human beings U.S. culture, when you main- recently, German scientists
interact: tain eye contact, you’re likely to actually discovered the “fidget
● Public (from 12 to 25 feet be perceived as attentive, com- gene” in many who “just can’t
apart, the zone between a petent and powerful. sit still.” If you suspect you’re

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Lost in
plagued with this gene, just try
to keep your gestures within the
range bounded by your hipline
and your shoulders to demon-
strate that you are in control.
Natural gesticulators can make

translation
use of their hands and arms to
deliver a clear and concise mes-
sage and do so with ease. Wildly
erratic or overly exuberant ges-
ticulators are sometimes seen as
overbearing and obnoxious.
Gestures should emphasize ver- People are constantly telling each other exactly
bal statements and consistently
take place in the square area sur- what they think and feel—and it often has nothing
rounding your torso.
at all to do with the words they say
These are just a few of the
myriad body language signals by Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D.
that make up the first impres-
sion. Taken individually, each

Y
of these suggestions may seem our boss tells you that
like common sense, even triv- you’ll be considered for
ial. When you combine them, a promotion. But if
however, you increase the she’s leaning back with
likelihood that people will crossed arms and a forced smile,
trust your message and want she’s sending the opposite mes-
to help you convey it. Don’t sage. Your customer may say he’s
forget that the cliché “You not interested in the deal you’re
never get a second chance to presenting. But if he keeps
make a first impression” is glancing at the contract on the
a powerful business maxim. table, he’s telling you that he is

DAVE CUTLER/IMAGES.COM
Take care that in these times interested.
of shiny gadgets and heady These are but two examples
electronic networking, you of how body language plays an
don’t lose the ability to con- important role in our day-to-
nect with other people in that day business activities. In work-
most powerful moment of place settings around the world,
body language communica- in fact, people are constantly
tion—the first impression. ● telling each other exactly what clear signals of others or who
they think and feel—and it don’t have a clue how their own
about the author often has nothing at all to do nonverbal behavior is sabotag-
Tonya Reiman, author with the words they say. ing their efforts. Six factors have
of The Power of Body Language, A thorough understanding of converged to make body lan-
is a well-known television the role of body language is a guage in the workplace more
personality, speaker and body vital tool in today’s business important now than ever before.
language expert. environment. And yet I see it
time and time again: profes- 1. Emotional literacy
sionals at all levels of the organi- in communication
zation who aren’t reading the When gauging the impact of

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beyond words

workplace communication, I’ve 2. Leadership’s move even text messaging all seem to
found that it’s not the medium from command to influence have their proponents. But if a
or the message that matters The effectiveness of “command- leader is going to talk about new
most. What really counts is the and-control” management tac- initiatives, major change, strate-
When a leader quality of the interpersonal rela- tics declined dramatically with gic opportunities—or if he or
tionship that exists between the end of the Industrial Age. she has to deliver bad news—
stands in front of sender and receiver. And a large Today’s leaders must lead every employee communication
(and largely unexplored) part of through influence, rather than survey shows a preference for
a thousand employees that relationship is determined rely on the control (or at least face-to-face delivery.
by nonverbal cues. the illusion of control) that a Consider the case of one
and talks about how Look at it this way: If words management position implies. Fortune 25 company, where
are used to communicate con- And influence relies on the teleconferences provided an
much he welcomes their tent, body language comments effective use of two communica- ongoing opportunity for small
on the emotions and relation- tion skills: (1) the ability to groups of employees to get
input, the message gets ships behind the content. A really understand the other per- up close and personal with the
classic study by Dr. Albert son’s perspective (which means CEO. Time after time, employ-
derailed if he hides Mehrabian at UCLA (Univer- listening to what’s being said) ees would ask about policies or
sity of California, Los Angeles) and knowing how to read the pending organizational changes
behind a lectern or found the total impact of a messages that are being deliv- that had already been communi-
message is based on words used, ered nonverbally, and (2) the cated in various company publi-
leans back away from 7 percent; tone of voice, 38 per- ability to communicate congru- cations and dozens of e-mail
cent; and facial expressions, ently, to align the spoken word announcements.
his audience. hand gestures, body position with body language that sup- After the meetings, the CEO
and other forms of nonverbal ports an intended message. would ask his communication
communication, 55 percent. When a leader stands in front manager, “How many times
Consider the oil company of a thousand employees and have we told them about that?
CEO who showed up at a refin- talks about how much he wel- Why don’t they know that?”
ery in an expensive suit and tie comes their input, the message “Oh, they know it,” the com-
to discuss the company’s state of gets derailed if he hides behind a munication manager replied.
affairs with rank-and-file opera- lectern, or leans back away from “They just want to hear it from
tors, electricians and members his audience, or puts his hands you. More important, they want
of the warehouse staff—dressed behind his back, or shoves them to be able to look at you when
in their fire-retardant blue over- in his pockets, or folds his arms you say it.”
alls. After being introduced and across his chest. All of those send
walking carefully to the front of closed nonverbal signals. Con- 4. The visual technology
the room, he removed his wrist- versely, when a leader fully faces revolution
watch and quite visibly placed it the audience, makes eye contact, For much of the recent past,
on the lectern. The unspoken keeps her movements relaxed business professionals felt they
message: “I’m a very important and natural, stands tall, and uses could duck behind a computer
man, I don’t like coming into open hand and arm gestures, she monitor and ignore their
dirty places like this, and I have sends silent signals of inclusion, nonverbal behavior. After all,
exactly 20 minutes to spend credibility and candor. who cares about body lan-
with you.” guage when sending an e-mail,
Quite different from what he 3. The validation text messaging, blogging or
actually said: “I’m happy to be of face-to-face communication (until recently) taking part in
with you today.” For years, communicators have a videoconference?
Which do you think those debated the most effective ways Cisco Systems is one of sev-
refinery workers believed—the of delivering messages. News- eral companies working on
CEO’s spoken words or what his letters, videos, personal voice products that make the virtual
body language said? mails, public address systems, experience almost the same as a

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face-to-face interaction. I was international business, body lan- proximity to others and the pat-
lucky enough to get a demon- guage often speaks for itself. terns of their movements (body
stration of Cisco’s TelePresence, Unfortunately, much of the language), the MIT team is
which uses “life-size” high- meaning may be lost in trans- gathering insights regarding the
definition video and directional lation. The most innocuous of subtle differences between effec- about the author
sound technology that makes gestures, when misinterpreted, tive and ineffective teams, and Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D.,
voices seem to come from where can wreak havoc on business the kinds of interactions that is an executive coach, author
a user is located at the remote dealings. Today, everyone is part build or block collaboration. and keynote speaker who
site. This new generation of of the global marketplace, and addresses association, govern-
videoconferencing makes partic- business professionals may be In his book On Becoming a ment and business audiences
ipants feel as though they are required to deal with their coun- Person, psychologist Carl Rogers around the world. This article
actually sitting in the same room terparts in other countries or wrote, “Real communication is based on her latest book,
with people who are on the lead a multicultural team. occurs when we listen with The Nonverbal Advantage:
other side of the world. understanding—to see the idea Secrets and Science of Body
6. The latest scientific findings and attitude from the other per- Language at Work.
5. The reality Even digital technology is son’s point of view, to sense how
of a global workforce exploring this topic. Alex Pent- it feels to them, to achieve their
Organizations worldwide have land and a team of researchers frame of reference in regard to
discovered that intercultural from the Human Dynamics the thing they are talking about.”
communication is important— group at the Massachusetts Reaching that goal of under-
not just because they have to Institute of Technology’s Media standing, of empathy, can mean
deal increasingly with globaliza- Lab have developed a range of a big difference in the business
tion, but also because the work- small electronic devices that world. Which is why nonverbal
force within their own national track not only the physical loca- cues are so important to our
borders is growing more ethni- tion of the people who wear professional relationships and
cally and culturally diverse. them, but also their body lan- such a crucial part of business
In the high-stakes world of guage. By taking note of people’s communication. ●

Improve your interpretations using the five “Cs” of body language


The good news about understanding body Context: The meaning of nonverbal commu- between what someone is thinking and saying.
language is that our brains are hardwired to nication changes as the context changes. We Consistency: You need to know a person’s
respond instantly to nonverbal cues. The bad can’t begin to understand someone’s behavior baseline behavior under relaxed or generally
news: That circuitry was put in place a long without considering the circumstances under stress-free conditions so that you can compare
time ago, when our ancestors faced threats which the behavior occurred. it with the expressions and gestures that
and challenges very different from those we Clusters: Nonverbal cues occur in what is appear when that person is under stress.
face in modern society. Life is more complex called a “gesture cluster”—a group of move- Knowing someone’s behavioral baseline
today, with layers of social restrictions and ments, postures and actions that reinforce enhances your ability to spot meaningful
nuanced meanings adding to the intricacies a common point. A single gesture can have inconsistencies.
of our interpersonal dealings. This is especially several meanings or mean nothing at all (some- Culture: Basically, there are two kinds of body
true in workplace settings, where the corpo- times a cigar is just a cigar), but when you cou- language signals: instinctive and acquired.
rate environment adds its own complexities— ple that single gesture with other nonverbal Acquired gestures are socially generated, so
a unique set of restrictions and guidelines signals, the meaning becomes clearer. identical gestures often have different mean-
for behavior. Congruence: When people believe what they ings among different societies. From greeting
You can improve your ability to read body are saying, you see it corroborated in their behaviors to hand gestures to the use of space
language by filtering your impressions through body language. Their gestures and expressions and touch, what’s proper and correct in one
the five “Cs”: context, clusters, congruence, are in alignment with what is being said. You culture may be ineffective—or even offen-
consistency and culture. also see incongruence, where gestures con- sive—in another.
tradict words. Incongruence is a sign not so —C.K.G.
much of intentional deceit as of inner conflict

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