INTRODUCTION

In this modern world we more often see separation than love. Love is
not easy. I know. It takes hard work to maintain a relationship. Our world is
running in such a way that the importance of true love is becoming lower and
lower. The mindset of people about true love has changed. That is, love has just
become an accessory to show others that he or she has a partner in their life.
Showing love or selecting a person has become according to their need and not
because they feel it. The demand for one night stands are also increasing.
Everything has become physical now.
Now the mindset about true love is like, if a relationship doesn’t work out,
then people are ready to end it very easily than work on it and married people
are also not ready to adjust or be understanding and so divorces are increasing.
Why is that the concept of true love has changed? It is not like what we have
heard from our elders or what we have seen in movies or what we have read in
books. Why is it so? Is it because of the busy life? Or is it what we call the
western culture? If it is the busy life, then nobody would have been able to
make babies and if it is the western culture, is it that they don’t have any long
lasting relationships? We know only about the life of celebrities, that they get
married and get divorced but the normal people, there are long lasting
relationships. So it is not the western culture. Then, what went wrong or what is
it that is going wrong?
In this book, I am not trying to solve all the problems of a relationship but
I would like to give an insight about how you can save your relationship and it
does take hard work. I myself have gone through break up. But I recovered and
even had a 9 year long relationship and got married to the same person. After
marriage, me and my partner, we both have faced lots of ups and downs. We
have also gone through lots of changes in our relationship. What I am trying to
say in this book, is what I felt how a relationship should be according to my
experience.
Love is never predictable and it is difficult to understand a person.
Sometimes it’s said that even a whole life is not enough to know a person
completely. According to me the most important element in a relationship is
having an open COMMUNICATION. Whatever the problem is, just say it and
your partner will know it and then you will know what to do next. It is
important to let your partner know what you feel in whatever subject it is. If you
are keeping things inside when you are supposed to let it out, it can build up one

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day and ruin everything. Only through open communication, the
misunderstandings and the blame game can be solved.
Love is not impossible in this modern world. It just that you need to be
true to yourself and more accepting and open minded. Believe in love and that it
never changes. It is a beautiful feeling. When in love, you have the feeling of
the most happiest person in the world. But especially after marriage why is it
that it changes? The things that you loved in your partner becomes the things
that you hate after marriage. Why? Is it because you have taken your partner for
granted? Or is it because you are married and now no more working hard in
your relationship is required? Or is it because that person is yours forever and
now no need to give more attention? Attention in a relationship is always
required and you need to work on it daily. Otherwise you might lose the
freshness of the relationship in the long run and someday you might feel that
you are missing something in your relationship and you might feel that it is
LOVE. But it could be exactly not that and it could be some other element. Both
the partners need to work on the relationship equally. I will try to give insight in
some of the points that all the couples come across in their life which can help
in your relationship.

LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY

Before even falling in love, we fantasize about the person that we are
going to meet in the future, like a dream boy or a dream girl. We fantasize about
how the person should be and shouldn’t be. But in reality, it is better not to do
so. I know it is difficult to control our thoughts. Because having a set of
conditions like how a person should be, can become a problem once you are
involved in a relationship. You should love a person unconditionally. You
should accept the person as a whole and not be judgemental about his or her
character. Be more open-minded and accept their faults with wide arms because
nobody is perfect and everybody comes with their own traits. Once you meet
the right person, try to understand the person by having open conversations and
understand their traits more. When you concentrate on their faults more, it will
be much easier to understand their good side. It is often said that a couple who
have had love marriage, find faults more than good after marriage. All those
things they have loved before marriage becomes the things that they hate after
marriage. So if you can concentrate on their bad side and you are okay with it,

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then you will be able to easily accept their good side and have a good
relationship. If you don’t like anything from their side, then tell them and not
insult them or demand a change because the person to whom you are saying is
an entirely different individual, who can get their feelings hurt. So make them
understand with love, if they accept it, well and good. If not, just leave it. Don’t
ever try to change the person because if you try to do so, it means you have
fallen in love with the outer personality and not the inner personality of that
person. In the long run, only the inner personality matters and not the physique.
So if you want that person to change, it’s better you go for another person.
Because the person you are seeking is not he or she. If you are in love with their
faults, then the good side will be the easy part. Always love without any
conditions. If your partner feels that he or she needs to change for you, they will
do it happily without even mentioning it to them.

RESPECT – NO: 1
Respect for each other is the number one feeling that you should have
above anything else. Trust and understanding follows respect. For that we
should have self-respect. Without self respect its difficult to value yourself. We
should know our own worth and value. So that we can have some boundaries in
our life. Only through self respect we can set principles in life and follow it our
whole life. If you do not respect yourself, you wont be able to respect others.
Self respect brings quality to your life. You will be able to understand about
people whether they are bad or good influence to you. So it all begins with self
respect. Respecting your partner means it creates an unspoken way of
understanding which leads to a strong bond between you. It is difficult to accept
the views of others especially if it doesn’t match your ideals but we at least have
the duty as a human being to give chance to others to express their views.
Listening to them shows respect. Respect shows that you value your partner and
it shows how worthy are they in your life. You have to give respect in order to
earn it. Respect between husband and wife shows how much you value each
other. The bond created in this way can be so strong that they can easily face
any difficulties in their life because they have each other to rely on. People who
respect each other trust and support each other and value each other’s
independence. They have the freedom to be themselves, talk honestly and freely
and make decisions and compromises together. So respect your partner and the
life that you have together will be the most wonderful life you have ever had.