Table of Contents

Title Page No.

I. Infidelity – Definition.......................................................................................................3

II. Types of Infidelity

A. Sexual Infidelity........................................................................................................3

B. Emotional Infidelity..................................................................................................3

III. Impact of Gender Related Traits to Infidelity

A. Concept and Implications..........................................................................................4

IV. Gender Differences in Infidelity

A. Biological Differences..............................................................................................6

B. Men’s Evolutionary Past...........................................................................................6

C. Men’s Evolutionary Past on Polygamy.....................................................................7

D. Why Women are Faithful..........................................................................................8

E. Why Men are Promiscuous.......................................................................................9

F. Women and Promiscuity...........................................................................................9

G. Men Can Isolate Love from Sex.............................................................................10

V. Other Factors that Affect an Individual’s Capacity for Infidelity

A. Educational Level and Infidelity..............................................................................11

B. Personality and Infidelity.........................................................................................12

VI. Conclusion...................................................................................................................13
VII. Reference List.............................................................................................................14

VII. Bibliography...............................................................................................................15

Infidelity: Why Both Sexes Do It

Infidelity is defined as a violation of the commitment to sexual loyalty by one or both

members of a committed romantic relationship or breach of the expectation of sexual

exclusivity (Glass & White, 1985) Infidelity can comprise a number of activities

including: "Having an affair", "extramarital relationship", "cheating", "sexual

intercourse", "oral sex" ,"kissing", "fondling", and "emotional connections that are

beyond friendships" (Zare, 2011) Infidelity is defined as unfaithfulness by virtue of being

unreliable and the cheating on a relationship partner that takes place despite a

commitment to exclusiveness. Sexual infidelity by a marriage partner is commonly called

philander, adultery or an affair. Infidelity research has addressed two types of betrayal

that occur in committed romantic relationships: sexual or emotional (Zare, 2011)

Sexual and Emotional Infidelity

Sexual infidelity, as its name suggests, refers to sexual activities that are committed

with someone other than one’s partner. Behaviors that constitute sexual infidelity range

from kissing to sexual intercourse and include behaviors such as sexual touching and oral

sex. Emotional infidelity refers to becoming emotionally involved with someone other

than one’s partner (Roscoe et al., 1988). Behaviors such as flirting, dating, spending time

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together and falling in love with someone other than one’s partner are identified as acts of

emotional infidelity or betrayal (Roscoe et al., 1988).

Emotional infidelity, on the other hand, is defined as having a deep, emotional bond

with someone other than one’s partner. Women tend to state that their affairs are more

emotional than sexual this is because Women have historically depended on men for

resources and protection. Hence, women may be sensitive to a partner’s emotional

infidelity, as it signals he may allocate resources and protection to other women, and

therefore, they express jealousy over a mate’s emotional infidelity (Buss et al., 1992). On

the contrary, men tend to state that their affairs are more sexual than emotional (Glass and

Wright, 1985). One reason, according to Daly et al. (1982) is that throughout

evolutionary history, men have sought to establish paternal confidence so as to avoid

erroneously investing time, resources, and energy in children who are not biologically

related to them.

However, according to psychologists, there is still no universal definition and

distinction between the two types of infidelity due to the fact that the act of infidelity

alone is already emotional, and that human and sexual relations have a tied connotation

of intense emotional states that binds two people together (Thornton & Nagurney, 2004).

Impact of Gender Related Traits to Individual’s Capacity for Infidelity

Concept

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 Gender related traits are those traits considered to be more common in one sex than

the other. The two types of gender-related traits are agency and communion. According to

the study of Thornton and Nagurney (2004) agency refers to the extent to which an

individual focuses on his or her own personal achievements and the belief that one exists

as an individual. Sexual, psychological and mental concepts are included in the trait of

agency. One is self-protection and the creation of unique identity. The other trait is the

communion. Communion refers to the extent to which an individual focuses on building

and maintaining supportive relationships with others and the belief that one is part of a

larger social structure. Cooperation and attachment are the two primary domineering

characteristics of people having the trait of communion (Thornton & Nagurney, 2004).

Implications

According to the study of Thornton and Nagurney (2004), males scored higher in

questions pertaining to the trait of “agency” than females.. Agency, as reiterated, refers to

the individual’s self-concept, self-esteem, and sense of existence. With this finding,

Thornton and Nagurney (2004) concluded in their study that males are more conscious of

their public image in terms of their overall well-being and self-esteem which they

oftentimes get from job satisfaction and power. However, aside from positive recognition

males get from jobs, position, and other skilled-oriented activities, they get their

recognition from other illicit activities such as infidelity when they feel dissatisfied,

disappointed, or stressed.

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 On the other hand, according to Thornton and Nagurney (2004) study, their survey

results showed that females scored higher in questions pertaining to the gender-related

trait “communion” than males. The reason why women are less likely to commit

infidelity compared to men is that they value and maintain supportive relationships and

perceive another individual as a part of a larger relationship. That, the destruction of one

relationship is pretty much detrimental to females which affects their image that she who

has not been able to maintain the relationship lacks nurturing characteristics—of which

females rank as one of the top values that they seek for themselves.

Gender Difference in Infidelity

Biological Differences Between Males and Females

The sex center is located in the hypothalamus, a part of the brain that controls the

emotions, heart rate, and blood pressure. The size of the hypothalamus can be compared

to that of a size of a cherry and weighs around 4.5 grams. It is larger in men than in

women and homosexuals. Although the hypothalamus constitutes less than 1 percent of

the total volume of the brain, it has an important influence on many of the body's

functions (Pease, 2001).

Men’s Evolutionary Past

Men’s impulsive sex drives can be traced back to its evolutionary purpose – to ensure

that the human species continues. Similar to most mammals, men had to evolve with

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several elements for its success. Firstly, a man’s sex drive had to be intensely focused and

not easily distracted. The intensity of his focus would allow him to procreate under harsh

conditions such as in the presence of potential threats of wild animals and enemies

(Pease, 2001).

That is, promiscuity is wired into a man’s brain and is a legacy of his evolutionary

past. Throughout human history, wars greatly diminished the numbers of men so it made

sense to add to the size of the tribe as often as possible. The number of men returning

from battle was usually lower than at the start. This meant that there was always a large

number of widows, and so creating a harem for the returning males was an effective

survival strategy for the tribe (Pease, 2001)

Hypothalamus also contains hormones specifically the testosterone, the one

responsible for the stimulation or desire for sex. Since men have 10-20 times more

testosterone than women, and a larger hypothalamus, the male sex drive is more intense

and powerful. This can make men capable of having sex virtually anytime not regarding

of what place. This is also one reason why men are more sexually active than women

(Pease, 2001)

Men’s Evolutionary Past on Polygamy

Polygamy is defined as having one partner or spouse at one time. During most of the

human evolution, more than 80% of all human societies were polygamous societies,

mainly for survival reasons (Roscoe et al., 1988).

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 On the other hand, the main opposite of polygamy: monogamy. Monogamy is defined

as one person permanently paired with one opposite sex (one male paired with one

female and vice versa) which is the natural state for a number of animal species, such as

foxes, geese, and eagles. Monogamous male and female animals are generally the same

physical size and parenting responsibilities are divided 50/50 (Pease, 2001)

According to Pease (2001), in polygamous species, the males are usually bigger, more

aggressive, and have minimal involvement in parenting. The males of polygamous

animals mature sexually much later than the females so that competitive conflicts are

avoided between the older males and younger, inexperienced males who are less likely to

survive a fight. The physical specifications of polygamous species fit human males; it is

of no wonder why men have a constant battle to stay in a monogamous relationship

(Pease, 2001)

Why Women Are Faithful

Women have a much lower sex drives than men and are less aggressive. This trait can

be mainly attributed to women’s hypothalamus, which is smaller than a man’s. A woman

has relatively small amounts of testosterone needed to activate the hypothalamus (which

is a gland, and glands need hormones in order to activate). Nature has a purpose why

women are less likely to engage in sexual activities. The reason is that a woman’s

pregnancy takes time – from the time of conception to child-rearing and to the child’s

self-sufficiency. For a significant part of the nine-month human pregnancy period, most

women are physically restricted and it takes at least five years before a human child can

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feed and defend himself. That is why, women are more meticulous and closely analyze a

man’s potential “father traits” such as his ability to provide food and shelter and fight off

enemies (Pease, 2001).

Why Men Are Promiscuous

Through the course of human history, giving birth to boys was seen as a wonderful

event because additional males were always needed to defend the community. Girls, on

the other hand were a disappointment because the tribe thinks that there is already an

excess of females (Pease, 2001).

This is the way it was for hundreds of thousands of years. In addition, modern man is

still equipped with a large hypothalamus and enormous amounts of testosterone to fulfill

his ancient urge to procreate. The reality is that men, like most primates and other

mammals, are not biologically inclined to complete monogamy. The huge male-oriented

sex industry offers pertinent proof. Practically all pornography, erotic videos, prosti-

tution and X-rated Internet images are directed at men, showing that while most men can

live in a monogamous relationship, their brain-wiring demands polygamous mental

stimulation. It has to be understood, however, that men's urge to be promiscuous, are due

to his biological inclinations (Pease, 2001).

Women and Promiscuity

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 There is only a small percentage of women who are as promiscuous as men. However,

their motivation is usually different to that of men. For a woman to be turned on sexually,

the brain circuitry of the nest-defending human female responds to a range of criteria

other than just the promise of sex. Most women want a relationship or at least the

possibility of some emotional connection before they feel the desire for sex. Most the

time however, based on studies, almost all men do not realize that a woman already has

an emotional bond created. With the exception of the rare percentage of clinically

considered nymphomaniacs, most women feel the strongest urge for physical sex during

ovulation which can last several days or several hours. Pease (2001) showed in one of his

writings a survey conducted by the American Health Institute showed that 82% of boys

aged 16-19 said they liked the idea of participating in an orgy with strangers, while only

two percent of girls felt the same.

Men Can Isolate Love with Sex

More than 90% of affairs are initiated by men but more than 80% are ended by women.

This is because when a woman begins to realise that the affair has no lasting emotional

promise and will only be physical, she wants out (Pease, 2001)

A man's brain has the ability to separate love from sex and deal with each item in

isolation because of its physiological structure and differentiation in components

compared to that of a woman’s. That is why most of the time, a man is contented with

just a good physical relationship – that has taken all his attention. It is still unclear exactly

where love is situated in the brain, but research indicates that a woman's brain has a

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network of connections between her love centre and her sex centre (the hypothalamus),

and the love centre needs to be activated before her sex centre can be switched on. Men

do not appear to have these connections and so they can deal with sex or love separately.

For a man, sex is sex and love is love, and sometimes they happen together.

A woman's brain is not wired to understand or accept this answer and this is why many

women find it difficult to believe a man who says it meant nothing, because, for a

woman, sex equals love. According to Pease (2001), a woman would never fail to

perceive that it is not the physical act of sex with the other woman that affects much, but

it is the violation of the emotional contract and trust entrusted which has been broken. If a

woman has an affair and says it didn't mean anything, she's probably lying. For a woman

to cross the line to having sex, she would have already had to establish an emotional bond

with the new man (Pease, 2001).

Other Factors that Affect an Individual’s Capacity for Infidelity

Aside from the main factors or causes of infidelity, there are two other factors that

psychologists and sociologists have studied over the past decades that also have a

significant impact on a person’s capacity to become unfaithful or infidel to one’s spouse

or partner namely, educational level and personality.

Educational level and infidelity

Different studies report various results about the impact of education level on

infidelity. (Atkins et al. 2005) found that highly educated people are more likely to

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engage in extramarital sex. They concluded that there is a significant relationship

between divorce and education levels and the correlation between education and

infidelity is only significant for couples who are divorced (Atkins et al. 2005). In another

national study, Forste and Tanfer (1996) concluded that education has a significant

correlation with infidelity in married women who are differ in case of degree and their

partner’s education level. More specifically, they found that if a married woman is more

educated than her partner, it is more likely to be unfaithful in her marriage compare with

a woman with lower education level than her partner (Forste, 1996). Collectively, the data

from previous studies showed that people with highly level education are more probable

to engage in infidelity (Zare, 2011)

Personality and Infidelity

There are lots of studies that investigated personality aspects of infidelity. The Five

Factors Model (FFM) has been popularly used to describe marital interactions as the

interface between two personalities (Buss 1999). A meta-analysis of 45 studies examined

personality factors underlying sexual risk behavior and found high agreeableness and

high conscientiousness reliably correlated with lower sexual risk taking (Shackelford &

Baser, 2008). Low agreeableness correlated negatively with greater sexual risk taking

including multiple partners for low conscientiousness and correlated positively with

unprotected sex. Infidelity is significantly associated with low agreeableness and low

conscientiousness. Schmitt and Buss (2000) found that those with high levels of

agreeableness and conscientiousness were higher in relationship exclusively which means

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they are less likely to be unfaithful. Recently, Shackelford & Baser (2008) presented a

casual model generated based on FFM of personality to predict self-reported likelihood of

becoming extramarital involved. In their study, they chose 214 individuals comprising

107 married couples that had been legally married for less than a year. Shackelford &

Baser (2008) found some support for a causal model with particularly disagreeable

spouses (i.e. those low on agreeableness) and particularly unreliable spouse (i.e. those

low on conscientiousness) who are less estimate a higher probability of becoming

extramarital involved in the next year.

Conclusion

The union between men and women has been, and still is, one of the most celebrated

occasions in a course of an ordinary human’s life. The lifelong vow between a man and a

woman, professing their love and faithfulness with one another is a responsibility which

scopes not only to the spouse but also to the morality of the public. Union between two

people, through whatever cultural, religious or legal means, bounds one another with a

pact of unquestionable faith.

Unfortunately, due to some reason of man’s imperfection and constant battle between

pleasure and morality, unfaithful acts against a spouse or infidelity occurs. Infidelity is an

intangible concept that has always been lurking man throughout tales of human history

can tell. A number people across the world have fell on this snare of what seemingly

yields a boundless tainted gratification, though fleeting. It is immoral for there is a breach

of trust and confidence. Society itself imposed that justification of which is void.

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 But as intellectualism emerged through thousands of years of man’s unwavering step

towards civilization and sophistication, man himself was able to conquer the quest for

equity and morality. Marriage is the best proof. It is a man’s attempt to limit himself to

divulge into undirected sexual relationships.

For we humans warrant trust, we also have the responsibility not to break it. And

through which, man and woman can truly be happy.

Reference List

Atkins, D.C., Yi, J., Baucom, D.H., & Christensen, A. (2005). Infidelity in couples
seeking marital therapy. Journal of Family Psychology, 19, 470-473.

Bahareh, Z. (2011). Review of studies on infidelity. Journal on 3rd International

Conference on Advanced Management Science, 836-873.

Buss, D.M., Shackelford, T.K., Kirkpatrick, L.A., Choe, J.C., Lim, H.K., Hasegawa,
M., Hasegawa, T., and Bennett, K. (1999). Jealousy and beliefs about infidelity: Tests of
competing hypotheses in the United States, Korea, and Japan. Personal Relationships, 6,
125-150.

Fisher, M., Voracek, M., Rekkas, P.V., Cox, A. (2008). Sex differences in feelings of
guilt arising from infidelity. Journal of Evolutionary Psychology, 436-446.

Forste, R., & Tanfer, K. 1996. Sexual exclusivity among dating, cohabiting, and
married women. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 15-58.

Glass, S., & Wright, T. 1985. Sex differences in type of extramarital involvement and
marital dissatisfaction. Sex Roles, 1101-1120.

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 Pease, A. (2001). Why men don’t listen and women can’t read maps. (2 nd ed.). Great
Britain: Orion Publishing Group.

Shackelford, T. K., Besser, A., & Goetz, A. T. 2008. Personality, marital satisfaction,
and probability of marital infidelity. Individual Differences Research, 6-12.

Thornton, V., & Nagurney, A. (2004). What is infidelity? Perceptions based on

biological sex and personality. US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of
Health, 217-246.
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