INT.

BEASLEY HOME - DAY 1 - MORNING - 06:25

Ken (mid fifties, short, Kenneth Collard looking type) is

coming downstairs. He's wearing an old pair of suit trousers,
an un-ironed white/brown, short sleeved, checkered shirt. He
looks like a Marks & Spencer mannequin from 1995. He has a
bumbag around his waist. Morag (Kens wife, mid forties,
attractive, tall) is waiting at the bottom of the stairs for
him, she's holding a back pack. As Ken reaches the bottom of
the stairs, he stands on the first stair and turns round -
Morag puts the back pack on him. He comes down off the stair,
Morag bends down to kiss him goodbye, she ruffles his hair
(what's left of it) like a mother sending her kid off to
school. Ken heads for the door.

MORAG
Don't forget your packed lunch.

KEN
Morag, how many times do I have to
tell you? I'm not a school teacher any
more. I don't need a packed lunch.

Ken picks up the lunch box and inspects it.

KEN
(checking inside)
Is that bacon?

MORAG (CONT.)
Yes, you're favourite. BLT with no
lettuce or tomato. Extra mayonnaise.

KEN
Brown bread?

MORAG
Yes, and there's a yogurt in there.
Fat free so it won't affect your
cholesterol. A banana, an apple and a
bottle of water to keep you hydrated.

Ken heads to the door clutching the lunch box.

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 2.

MORAG (CONT.)
..and don't forget to take it easy.
Remember what the doctor said.

KEN (NOT PAYING ATTENTION)

Yes, yes, yes...

MORAG
Have a great day dear, Love y-

The door slams shut before MORAG finishes. There's a short

delay.

KEN [O.S - THROUGH THE LETTERBOX]

You too.

MORAG smiles.

EXT. STREET - DAY 1 - MORNING - 06.25

We see Ken getting in to his 20 year old, brown, beat up

Rover. It has more hits than the Beatles.

INSIDE OF CAR
_____________

Ken struggles to start the car. Eventually it kicks in. He

over-revs the engine repeatedly.

KEN
[tapping the steering wheel] Plenty
life in you yet old girl.

Sweat is pouring off him with the heat. He turns the air
conditioning on. A puff of dust comes out. He switches it
off. He tries to roll the window down but it's broken. He
manages to pull it open a crack with his fingers. He opens
his lunch box and takes out the bottled water. He takes a
swig of it and pops it between his legs. He switches on the
radio. Ken starts tapping the wheel and humming along. [30
seconds later] Ken is stuck behind a cyclist.

KEN
Oh, come on! Bloody idiots shouldn't
be allowed on the road. It's not safe.

Ken clips the wing mirror of a parked car. He looks in his

rear view mirror. The bin lorry behind him drives over the
top of it.

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 3.

KEN
Now, look what you've done.

The cyclist is just travelling along at a leisurely pace. Ken

has barely got above 10 mph. The cyclist has riled him now.
He puts his foot down. We see his speedometer get to 15mph as
Ken overtakes the cyclist. He turns and smiles smugly at the
cyclist as he passes.

KEN
Idiot!

Ken approaches a speed bump and has to brake hard. The

cyclist overtakes him on the left hand side, still going at a
leisurely pace. Something catches Ken's eye at the right hand
side. It's a woman with a pram and a young child (6-7 ish) on
the pavement - who's just overtaken him. She smiles
sincerely. Ken puffs out. He gets over the speed bump, over-
revs the engine and slowly overtakes the woman with the pram.
He turns and smiles smugly back at her. She drops her
eyebrows, confused. He's now got his eyes fixed on the
cyclist again and starts to gain on him just as he comes to a
pedestrian crossing. There's an elderly woman with a zimmer
frame just about to cross. The cyclist stops, Ken has to slam
the brakes on. As Ken turns to look at the cyclist, the
cyclist mounts the kerb and cycles down the pavement and then
goes back on to the road.

KEN
[raising his head to the small crack
of window and shouting out of it]
THAT'S ILLEGAL YOU KNOW! This isn't
blooming Amsterdam.

The elderly woman stops half way across and turns to Ken with
her hand to her ear as if to ask him what he said.

KEN
(out of the crack in the window)
I wasn't talking to you, I was talking
to the idiot on the bike!

The elderly woman shakes her head and puts her hand to her
ear again. Ken can't take it and gets out of the car to
assist her across the road.

ELDERLY WOMAN
Is that you Steve?

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 4.

KEN
I'm not, I'm- come on let's get you
across.

Ken shuffles her across. She's barely on the pavement and he

rushes back into the car.

ELDERLY WOMAN
Thanks, Steve.

Ken gives a nod and waves. Just as he goes to drive off the
woman with the pram starts crossing in front of him. Ken
smiles at her through gritted teeth. The woman with the pram
offers a smug smile back and then gives him the middle
finger.

KEN
[shouting out through the crack in the
window] Oh, that's, that's just,
that's very nice. Well done you. Hope
you're proud of yourself.

The elderly woman puts her hand to her ear again.

KEN
(at elderly woman)
No, no, not, not you.

Ken drives off shaking his head. As he slowly passes the

woman with the pram again he gives her an over-exaggerated
wave and smug smile. The young child gives him a smile and
sticks up his middle finger at Ken. His eyes widen, he gasps
and speeds off. Gaining sight of the cyclist again, he's now
completely wound up. He speeds up to 15mph again and soon
gains on the cyclist. As he passes the cyclist this time he
pretends not to be bothered and whistles going by him. He
looks in his rear view mirror to see the cyclist but sees
blue lights of a police car. It's pelting down the road. Ken
pulls in to let it by. As he goes to pull out the bin lorry
overtakes him as well.

KEN
What? Are you kidding me? Are you
blind? I was letting the police out,
not you, you fff..

KEN pulls back out. He barely gets going and the bin lorry
stops in the middle of the road, as the bin men get out to
get bins and load them in the back of the lorry.

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 5.

KEN
Oh, you've got to be having a laugh?
[throwing his arms around] Anyone else
want to-

Before Ken can finish his sentence the cyclist passes him
again and goes round the lorry. He's agitated now and starts
muttering to himself through gritted teeth. He gets a piece
of paper and pen from the side of his door. He starts
writing.

KEN
Registration. ST1- bloody pen!

KEN starts rubbing the pen hard on the paper as it's clearly
not working. He leans over to the glove compartment - all-
sorts of stuff fall out. He's fishing around under the
passenger seat.

KEN
Bingo [holding up a pen]

He lifts his head to take the registration of the bin lorry

but it's now nowhere to be seen. A traffic warden puts a
ticket on his windscreen.

KEN (TRYING TO SHOUT OUT OF THE CRACK IN

THE WINDOW)
No, no, no, I'm, I was, you can't. Oh,
come on!

As the traffic warden walks away KEN glances to the side and
then takes a second look as he can't believe what he's
seeing. The elderly lady with the zimmer passing by the car.
She gives him a wave. KEN puts his head on the steering wheel -
the horn sounds intermittently.

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