Conflict management and

Communication skills for

Leadership

Jaeho Eun
Ph.D. Political science

The Korea Institute of Public Administration

Seoul, Korea
Presenter

EUN, Jaeho
- Ph.D. in Political science (Policy science)
Ecole Normale Supérieure de Cachan, France
- Senior Research Fellow, The Korean Institute of Public Administration (KIPA)
Currently
- Vice president of the KIPA
- President of the Korean Association for Conflict Studies
- Invited professor, Graduate school of University PARIS 1 (Panthéon-
Sorbonne), France
 There is nothing
more difficult to take in hand,
more perilous to conduct, or
more uncertain in its success,
than to take the lead
in the introduction of
a new order of things.
Machiavelli 1513

3
Contrary to the opinion of many people,
leaders are not born.
Leaders are made, and
they are made by effort and hard work.

4
Table of Contents

Conflict management patterns

Communication patterns

Communication skills for

successful conflict management

5
 PART I
Conflict management

6
 3 Perspectives of Conflict

Perspective Assumption Approach

Traditional View Conflict is bad Oppressive resolution of

conflict

Human Relations View Conflict is natural and Conflict Acceptance

inevitable

Interactionist View Conflict is good and Conflict Stimulation

necessary

* Robbins, S. P. (1974), Managing organizational conflict : A nontraditional approach, Englewood Cliffs, NJ : Prentice-Hall.
Conflict…

Good or Bad ?

8
 Attributes of conflict

The functions and dysfunctions of conflict

dysfunction function
Conflict is a by-product of history Perspective Conflict is the motive power of
history

Cause of loss and disharmony Function Good momentum for social

development and harmonization

Conflict can be managed, Solution Conflict can be solved and

controlled, and solved by systemic, changed by rational and fair
authorized, and oppressive process
methods

Law and order Method Procedure and interaction

9
What is conflict?

Conflict is something
internalized within
humans.
Attribute of conflicts is
not derived from the
conflict itself but
prescribed by the result of
conflict management

10
 What is Conflict Management?
Conflict management is the process that switchovers
dysfunctions of conflict to desirable functions.

Continuous Process of Organizational Transformation

Performance Optimum level of conflict

Conflict

Dysfunctional Functional Dysfunctional

C. Stimulation C. Resolution

Conflict Management

11
 5 patterns of
conflictmanagement

12
 13

Conflict handling modes

(Attempting to satisfy one s own concerns)

Assertiveness
Competing Collaborating
My position Win-lose Win-win
ASSERTIVENESS

Compromising
Mini win-mini lose

’
Avoiding Accommodating
Lose-lose Lose-win
Unassertiveness
Uncooperati1ve Attitude toward others Cooperative

COOPERATIVENESS
(Attempting to satisfy other’s concerns)

Two-dimensional taxonomy of conflict handling modes (adapted from Thomas & Kilmann, 1974:11)
5 Types of conflict management
COMPETING
Purpose Assertiveness and uncooperative-an individual pursues his
own concerns at the other person’s expense.
Attitude “I know what is right. Do not ask my judgment and authority
anymore”
Logical This is power-oriented mode, in which ones uses whatever
background power seems
appropriate to win one’s own position
Probable I think I already have given explanation but others think “lose
result or be insulted”
Use When quick, decisive action is vital—e.g., emergencies
on important issues where unpopular courses of action need
implementing-e.g., cost cutting, enforcing unpopular rules,
discipline on issues vital to company welfare when you know
you’re right
5 Types of conflict management
COLLABORATING
Purpose Assertive and cooperative—the opposite of avoiding
Attitude “what is your opinion? I want to find out the best solution”
Logical Collaborating involves an attempt to work with the other
background person to find some solution which fully satisfies the
concerns of both persons
Probable It is likely to find an alternative which meets both sets of
result concerns
Use To find an integrative solution when both sets of concerns
are too important to be compromised
When your objective is to learn—e.g., testing your own
assumptions understanding the views of others
To gain commitment by incorporating other’s concerns into a
consensual decision
To work through hard feelings which have been interfering
with an interpersonal relationship
5 Types of conflict management
COMPROMISING
Purpose Intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness

Attitude “Let find out the solution for mutual benefit”

Logical Long running conflict causes confusion and much annoyance
background to people

Probable Compromising might mean

result exchanging concessions or seeking a quick middle-ground
position
Use To achieve temporary settlements to complex issues
When goals are moderately important, but not worth the
effort or potential disruption of more assertive modes
When to opponents with equal power are strongly
committed to mutually exclusive goals
To arrive at expedient solutions under time pressure
5 Types of conflict management
AVOIDING
Purpose Unassertive and uncooperative—the individual does not
immediately pursue his own
concerns or those of the other person.
Attitude “I’m in neutral position. I have to think about it”
Logical Fundamentally, it is not good because of inducing one’s
background tension about a disagreement of opinion
Probable Avoiding might take the form of diplomatically sidestepping
result an issue, postponing an issue until a better time or simply
withdrawing from a threatening situation.
Use • When an issue is trivial, of only passing importance, or when other
more important issues are pressing
• When you perceive no chance of satisfying your concerns
• To let people cool down—to reduce tensions to a productive level
and to regain perspective and composure.
• When gathering more information outweighs the advantages of an
immediate decision
• When others are resolve the conflict more effectively
5 Types of conflict management
ACCOMODATING
Purpose unassertive and cooperative—the opposite of competing.
Attitude “An individual neglects his own concerns to satisfy the
concerns of the other
person”
Logical Maintaining harmonious relation is the first priority
background
Probable Others take advantage of me
result
Use • To gain the reliability of other person in order to solve the next
step of the problem
• When the issue is much more important to the other person than
to yourself
• When preserving harmony and avoiding disruption are especially
important
• To aid in the managerial development of subordinates by
allowing them to experiment and learn from their own mistakes
 Who Am I ?

THOMAS-KILMAN CONFLICT MODE INSTRUMENT

By Kenneth L. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilman

19
 Scoring
■ Circle the letters below which correspond to the letter you circled on each item of the questionnaire.

Competing (forcing) Collaborating(problem solving) Compromising (sharing) Avoiding (withdrawal) Accommodating (smoothing)

1 a b
2 b a
3 a b
4 a b
5 a b
6 b a
7 b a
8 a b
9 b a
10 a b
11 a b
12 b a
13 b a
14 b a
15 b a
16 b a
17 a b
18 b a
19 a b
20 a b
21 b a
22 b a
23 a b
24 b a
25 a b
26 b a
27 a b
28 a b
29 a b
30 b a

■ Total the number of items circled in each column.

 Your scores on the Thomas-Kilmann conflict mode instrument
■ Circle the number below which correspond to the total of each column.

경쟁형 협력형 타협형 회피형 순응형

Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating
(forcing) (problem solving) (sharing) (withdrawal) (smoothing)
100% 12
12
12 12 11
11
11 12 11 10
10
High 10 11 10
9
9
8
25% 90%

9 10 7
80% 9 8
8

9 6
70% 8

7
7
60%

6 8 7 6 5
Middle
50%
50%
5 7
40%
4
4 6 5

30%
5
6

20% 3
3 4

5
10% 2 4 3
Low
25% 4
3 3
2 2
1 2 2
1 1
0 1 1
0% 0 0
0 0
 PART II

What matters is
communication
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 Communication Process
Communication is the process of sending and receiving information
among different subjects… Communication is to make it common, to
make it shared.
Medium

Confirmation bias
Self-coupling
SENDER Etc. RECEIVER
(encodes) (decodes)
Noise
Barrier

Feedback/Response
 NATURE OF COMMUNICATION
Communication is a continuous process that composed of :
1. Sender ( thought and encoding ).
2. Medium (means, channels).
3. Receiver( reception, decoding, and understanding ) .
4. Message. (Transmission )
5. Feedback.
6. Noise.

• Communication deals (sending and receiving) with information,

feelings, thoughts, messages, ideas, attitude, and understanding,
..etc.
• Effective communication can be measured in terms of whether or
not the sender’s message has had the intended impact on it’s
receiver.
 Communication Goals
The objectives of the communication within the organization are:
• Meeting organizational goals.
• Satisfying professional responsibilities. To change behavior
• Fulfilling personal roles.
To get action

To ensure
understanding

To persuade

To get and give

information
Verbal communication

26
 Verbal communication skills
• Communication skills help a person share feelings, thoughts, and
information with others.

• When you communicate with someone without using language,

you are using nonverbal communication.

• Expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly.

– An I-message expresses your feelings or thoughts on a subject
ex. I am unhappy when you are late because I have to wait for you.
– An you- message is a statement that blames or shames another
person. A you message is an ineffective form of communication
because it attacks and places a person on the defensive.
ex. You make me upset because you are late for the appointment
– An mixed message sends more than one clear meaning through
tone or action
 Non-Verbal
Communication

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Communication code scheme
 Johari Window

Communication = Transfer + Understanding

Known to self Not known to self

Known Arena Blind spot

to others (Open Self) (Blind Self)
Disclosing or
giving Exposure
Not known Facade Unknown
to others
(Hidden Self) (Undiscovered Self)

Asking for Feedback

 Who Am I ?

Communication ability test

By Joseph Luft & Harry Ingham (1955)
31
Johari Window Questionnaire
Instructions

Read each numbered item carefully.

Read the statements marked A and B.
Determine which statement is most similar to what you would do.
Assign a point value to the A and B statements using the following scale.
The total point value for A and B is five (5).

If statement A is most similar to what you would do: A=5 B=0

If statement A is not satisfactory, but better than B: A = 4 or 3 B =1 or 2
If statement B is most similar to what you would do: A=0 B=5
If statement B is not satisfactory, but better than A: A = 1 or 2 B = 4 or 3

6 kinds of allotting types

A B
5 0
4 1
3 2
2 3
1 4
0 5

5 means “I always act like this” and 0 means “I never act like this”
*Attention : sum of two articles always has to be 5
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 Calculating Your Scores
• Copy your point values from the questionnaire to the appropriate spaces
below. Add up the total points for each column.

Willingness to Solicits Feedback

Disclose/Give Feedback
1A 2B
4B 3A
6B 5A

9B 7A
11B 8B
13A 10B
15A 12B
17B 14B
18B 16A
19B 20A
Total Total
>> to vertical >> to
axis horizontal axis
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 Charting Your Scores
 On the top line of the graph below, mark your score for Solicits Feedback, then
draw a vertical line downward.
 On the left line of the graph below, mark your score for Willingness to Self-
Disclose/Gives Feedback, then draw a line across horizontally (left to right)

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 PART III
Communication skills for
Conflict management

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 HOW TO USE CONFLICT-
RESOLUTION SKILLS
Remain Calm, Set a Listen to the needs Feed-back your
positive tone and and feelings of needs and feelings
Ask others. • Positive and negative
• Define the conflict ta • Active listening feed-back
king responsibility for • I-message
personal actions

List and evaluate

possible solutions
• Agree on a solution
First, ask!

Asking is defining
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General Reasons We Ask Questions

• Gather information
• Seek clearer understanding
• Who, what, where, when
• Clarify direction
Situations Where Questions Can Improve
Effectiveness
• Managing people
• Building teams
• Shape strategy and enable change
• Personal relationships
Important Uses of Questions in a Business
Setting
• Gain a new perspective
• Encourage people to see things from a different
perspective
– Surface and challenge biases
• Get all the issues on the table
• Get engagement on important issues
• Build relationships through personal coaching
Coaching and Questions

• Coaching for Performance – John Whitmore

• Coaching is best accomplished through the
use of questions.
– G – What is the GOAL of our meeting
– R – What is the current REALITY – what is the
problem, issue or opportunity that we are
trying to address?
– O – What are the OPTIONS you are considering to
address the problem, issue or opportunity?
– W – WHAT are you committing to do and by WHEN?
Benefits of Coaching With Questions

• Signals a partnership in solving problems

• Builds strong relationships
• Creates higher level of trust that dialogue and debate
will occur before major decisions are made
• Feeling of inclusion
• Commitment to execution when changes have to be
implemented
• People open up and put more concerns on the table
• More aligned management team
• Culture that no longer talks about the “old way”
• An energized organization

Source: Leading with Questions

Secondly, listen!

Listening is compassing
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 Hearing Vs Listening
Hearing – Physical process, natural, passive
Listening – Physical as well as mental process, active, learned
process, a skill

Listening is hard !!!

 Components of active listening
• The listener concentrates on what the speaker is saying strongly and
Intensity • tunes out the miscellaneous thoughts as using its idle brain time
simultaneously.

• It is defined as the listener’s desire or effort to understand the

Empathy speaker’s situation.

• It means trying to listen objectively without judging content on

Acceptance • what the other person is saying.

• The listener does whatever is necessary to understand the fully

Completeness • intended meaning and emotion from the speaker, and ask questions
• to ensure understanding
Ways to Improve Active Listening skills
1 • Make Eye Contact
• Use Affirmative Nods and Appropriate
2
Facial Expressions
3 • Avoid Distracting Actions or Gestures

4 • Ask Questions

5 • Paraphrase

6 • Avoid Interrupting the Speaker

7 • Do Not Talk Too Much

 Thirdly, feed-back

Feed-back is showing yourself 47

Providing Positive Feedback

1. Focus on Specific Behaviors

2. Keep Feedback Impersonal

3. Keep Feedback Goal Oriented

4. Keep Feedback Well Timed

5. Ensure Understanding

6. Direct negative feedback controllable by the recipient

 Communication is the
key language of leadership.
Make sure you understand and that you are
understood.
Develop good listening skills.
Be aware of language and meaning.

49
 You can do anything, but not
everything.
The function of leadership is to
produce
more leaders,
not more followers.

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One of the true tests of leadership is the
ability to recognize
the existence of conflict
before it becomes an emergency.

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Leadership is not one day
thing.
It is a constant
commitment to
excellence, a habit,
a daily practice.
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It’s not a shame to fall
but
it’s a shame
not to get up again.

53
Questions
jaeho eun
Ph. D. Political Science
The Korea Institute of Public Administration (KIPA)
235 Jingwan-ro, Eunpyung-Gu, Seoul, KOREA
TEL +82(0)2-2007-0538
FAX +82(0)2-564-2158
e-mail : eun@kipa.re.kr
http://www.kipa.re.kr/ 55