ARE YOU SINGLE WITHOUT ANY PARTNER IN LIFE?

Are you lonesome since nobody courted you eventually becoming old without a partner? Did you
court women but nobody fell in love with you? Or, you were pre-occupied with work and time passed
until it was too late to find an ideal partner. You are past 50 years and thinking of who will take care
of you. Who will stand by you to provide comfort once problems and challenges come?
What did the Bible Say? According to Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, two are better than one. However, God
may have other plans for you so He did not will that you have a spouse. You may not understand
this fully but time will come you will understand this through prayers. Pray in the midst of the sorrow
since God can understand your plight.
“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.”(Psalm 25:16)
Don’t worry God promised to take care of His children until they grow older even when they are
alone. “Even to your old age I am he, even when you turn gray I will carry you. I have made, and I
will bear; I will carry and will save.”(Isaiah 46:4)
If you serve the LORD, you will have many siblings and parents ready to bear with you like your own
family.
"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields, for
my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold, and will inherit eternal life."(Matthew 19:29)
God will give you good friends if you love Him genuinely.
"Those who fear the Lord direct their friendship aright, for as they are, so are their neighbors
also."(Sirach 6:17)
We may not understand that He has a better plan for us and one of the reasons is written in
Proverbs 21:19:
"It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and fretful wife."
THERE ARE BENEFITS OF BEING SINGLE
For many people, having a spouse is God’s will. This produces a family and offspring. The parents
will teach them to live correctly for their future. If having a spouse is a blessing, does it mean failing
to find a partner is not a blessing? If we study God’s word, there is good in becoming single for your
entire life.
1.) BEING SINGLE IS A GIFT FROM GOD.
Jesus said clearly “some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of
heaven.”(Matthew 19:12).
The Apostle Paul suggested, " Indeed, I wish everyone to be as I am, but each has a particular gift
from God, one of one kind and one of another. Now to the unmarried and to widows I say: it is a
good thing for them to remain as they are, as I do,"(1 Corinthians 7:7-8)
Jesus did not marry as well as the Apostle Paul. Aside from them, other known people did not marry.
Evidence suggests the Dead Sea scrolls were gathered and written by a group known as Essenes,
some of whom lived in Qumran.
Theories the Dead Sea sect was celibate and women were not welcome to its ranks underscore
classical writers’ descriptions of the Essenes. Many modern-day scholars surmised the Dead Sea
sect is like the Essenes. You may read ancient accounts describing Essene celibacy to help our
investigation.
According to the Reclaiming the Dead Sea Scrolls by Lawrence H. Schiffman, on pages 127-128:
“Assumptions that the Dead Sea sect was celibate and that women were not accepted into its ranks
represent to a great extent the legacy of classical writers’ descriptions of the Essenes. Based on that
received tradition, most scholars in our own time have concluded that the Dead Sea sect is therefore
identical with the Essenes. For that reason, it is useful to review ancient accounts describing Essene
celibacy so that our investigation has a context. We begin with the accounts that unquestioningly
portray Essenes as celibate. Pliny the Elder (23–79 C.E.), who wrote soon after Destruction of the
Temple and defeat of the Jews at the hands of the Romans, describes Essenes in his description of
the Dead Sea region. There he says of the “tribe of the Essenes” that “it has no women and has
renounced all sexual desire” (Natural History 5, 73). A umber of passages in Greco- Jewish literature
provide additional information. Philo the Alexandrian Jewish philosopher writes: Furthermore, they
abstain from marriage because they plainly perceive it to be the only or the primary danger to the
maintenance of the communal life, as well as because they especially practice continence. For no
Essene takes a wife, because a wife is a selfish creature, addicted to jealousy and skilled at
beguiling the morals of her husband and seducing him by her continued deceptions.
(HYPOTHETICA 11, 14)”
Of course, marriage is good and being single is also good.
2.) BEING SINGLE HAS ADVANTAGES
According to Apostle Paul, being single has many positive effects (1 Corinthians 7:32). When you
get married, there are bigger issues like the expenses for wedding receptions especially if you do not
have sufficient funds. Some of them go to the point of borrowing money.
"Do not become a beggar by feasting with borrowed money, when you have nothing in your
purse."(Sirach 18:33)
Of course, many are blessed by getting married but there are also downsides such as the
complications and problems that come with getting married.
Apostle Paul said "Yet those who marry will experience distress in this life, and I would spare you
that" (1 Corinthians 7:28).
According to Apostle Paul, single individuals can devote their time to serve God.
"I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and
unhindered devotion to the Lord."(1 Corinthians 7:35)
I do not say married people cannot serve God but those who are single can serve full-time like
Priests, Nuns and other Lay people.
3.) BEING SINGLE IS NOT PERMANENT
Those who are single have the chance to marry someday. Some singles remain single all their life.
The loneliness in becoming single may be compensated by the Lord God who alone is capable of
giving the perfect love that people seek.
According to Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:13, love is the greatest because this love remains
forever.
Remember this if you are single:
Thank God for this gift. You will realize and appreciate the feeling of loneliness since this is the way
that you will attain everlasting happiness in God’s Kingdom (Revelation 21:4).
Focus on the good things awaiting you that has been set aside by God. Focus on the Kingdom of
God which is not temporary compared to worldly things like what Apostle Paul said.
“because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is
temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.”(2 Corinthians 4:18)
4.) GOD WILL PLACE IDEAS IN YOUR HEART
Singles will find more time to meditate and think about God so He can provide you with new ideas.
Living alone is an opportunity to obtain new ideas. At times, you need to be alone minus the
distractions. Look at Jesus who went to a secluded place to pray.
“But he would withdraw to deserted places and pray.”(Luke 5:16)
If God willed you to become single and you cannot really understand His plan, pray with intent and
ask for wisdom so you can understand your situation (James 1:5). Remember God has good plans
for you (Jeremiah 29:11).
Here is the short testimony of one Sister who experienced trials. In her solitude, she saw the
blessings of God. She approached the lord and prayed to see the light amidst the darkness of
yesterday.
Trials? I have a lot of that!
When I was a student, I saw the hardships of my parents while raising us. Yet, they never let us feel
the difficulties. We were not rich but had enough due to our supportive parents!
They provided for all our needs including education. I was the eldest. In college, I was able to study
in a private Catholic school. Despite the hardships, my parents wanted the best for me even if it
meant a huge sacrifice on their part. They were also over-protective. There were a lot of don’ts
which I had to accept. I finished my studies with flying colors! (Even if it was not the course I wanted
to pursue)
My trials in life started when my parents introduced me to someone whom my parents wanted me to
marry. I was sad, disappointed and furious! Was it really happening to me? I appreciated my parents'
sacrifices just to raise us properly and give us a good life in the future. I perfectly understood they
wanted me to have a great future. But, does that permit them to choose my future partner as well?
NO! It came to my mind! They are my parents. God sent them to guide me. HOWEVER, I AM STILL
THE CAPTAIN OF MY LIFE! I began to do odd things. I felt it was the lowest point of my life. I was
not rebellious but wanted independence. I decided to leave and find a job away from home. I chose
to work in Metro Manila. I was of legal age. So, I could decide freely.
Then, I met somebody who changed my perspective on life. I met him. We hang out. We dated. I fell
for him especially because I did not deserve getting married to someone I did not like. We agreed on
a civil wedding. I did not notice my mistake because things happened so fast. I discovered his bad
side slowly. There was no patience and perseverance. He had no ambition in life. He was contented
with what he had and did not work hard for his family. He was a happy go lucky guy.
I remained patient not because I loved him but because I wanted to prove to my parents I made the
right decision. I pretended to be happy even if my heart was bleeding! Then came my second baby,
a very adorable girl! I thought my husband will change. To my dismay, he worked depending on his
mood. I had to do something!
I decided to work overseas! I left to work in Singapore, so I could provide for the needs of the family.
It was the only way to support my family and leave my husband. He did not change. Instead, he left
the kids with my parents’ guidance. That was my last communication with him.
I was devastated but had to go on. It was hard to be an OFW. l had to make plenty of sacrifices. Fast
forward, we have a broken family. That was the first trial in life. Can I perform my duty as mother and
father to my children when I was very far from them? Yet, my parents were there for me. There were
no negative comments from them.
The biggest trial in my life was when my mother passed away. I felt one of my wings were clipped
my children also lost another parent. I still look for her love and guidance. But, I know she is at
peace with our LORD.
More trials came. As the eldest, I had to see our family remained united. It did not turn out that way.
There were misunderstandings between us and our father. We seldom talked. A wall divided us.
Perhaps, distance was one of the reasons we did not communicate. Three of us worked in different
countries. After Singapore, I transferred to Hongkong. Trials became part of my life. I had issues with
my lady boss as well as financial, health, and emotional issues. Yet, I had to be strong.
I decided to find GOD. I needed to have an advocacy and give some of my time to the Lord! I served
Him and will continue to serve Him! Now, if you wonder how my trials become blessings, I HAVE A
BIG GOD WITH ME! No matter how big my trials are, my LORD is BIGGER! God never promised
me a very comfortable life. He gave me more courage to face the rocky road ahead of me!
What is my bonus? I have patience, love, intelligence, respect, and God-fearing children! I can see
their perseverance doing things better with the least supervision. As to my siblings, maybe God
touched their hearts as they are now trying to reach out! My family is not perfect but we are doing
great through our Almighty Father! That is all that matters!
I may have failed as a wife. However, God knows I have been a good daughter, sibling and mother. I
thank HIM for showing the way.
I know may people have the same experience. They find it hard to move on. Give the LORD our
negative feelings. Let us ask Him to guide our lives, plans, and activities. That was what I did. Even
if I did not have any partner in life, I felt happy as my empty heart was occupied by the Lord Jesus.
He was the only one who told me: “I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU”.